Jump to content

Menu

Would You Worry? Friend MIA


shinyhappypeople

Recommended Posts

Maybe the aliens abducted her, too!

 

Good thing the X Files is coming back. :)

 

Scully:  Aliens? That's ridiculous. Statistics would show that people don't just disappear. It's more likely the OP and the previous "victim" are busy with their ordinary lives. Most of those don't involve aliens. 

 

Mulder: After all you've seen? 

 

Scully: Yes, Mulder, even after all I've seen. Most people live normal lives. 

 

Mulder: We don't.

 

Scully: We're FBI agents, Mulder. We're not normal. 

 

Mulder: But aliens, you have to admit. 

 

Scully: My truth does not negate the data that shows most people are not abducted by aliens. 

 

Mulder: But we're still going to investigate, right? 

 

Scully: Of course, Mulder. Two people are now missing. That is what we do, missing persons. 

  • Like 31
Link to comment
Share on other sites

there's over 3300 views so far!!   Everyone is dying to know what happened. 

 

ME, TOO!  Still no word.  

 

Realistic scenarios:

 

1.  They never got the texts OR tried to text me but it didn't get through.

 

2.  There was a change of plans and they felt too embarrassed or guilty to just admit it and apologize.

 

3.  They FORGOT and felt too embarrassed or guilty to apologize.

 

4.  She emailed me to cancel, it landed in my spam folder for some reason and was deleted without me ever seeing it.  (I never even glance at spam, just "delete all spam" and call it good.)  But, then again, when I didn't reply why didn't she call or text me?

 

5.  She lost her phone (oh, I so empathize with this one!) and thus didn't receive the texts.  Of course, this doesn't explain the daughter not replying to her texts, either.

 

Just in case it's any of the above I need to figure out a way to communicate that mistakes happen (including poor judgment and short-sighted or even selfish decisions, if any of those apply) and we still want them to be a part of our lives.  I forgive Mom for bailing on the sleepover plans, but *she just needs to talk to us.*   

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

a few more ideas....

 

lost power cord to charge phones and haven't made it to the store to buy new ones.

went out of town to an area with no cell reception.

are having a tech free weekend and haven't turned them back on yet.

didn't pay the cell bill so the phones are turned off.

if their phones use data, they may have their data turned off (either on purpose or accident)

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

A couple of years ago, I nearly broke off with a friend who I thought was flakey... turns out my phone was ignoring her texts.

We had arranged a playdate, and I texted confirming it. But I never heard back. She texted me- yep, we're on....and I didn't show up!

 

It happened again with another friend once recently too.

 

So, hopefully it's something simple like that!

 

 

This happened to a really close friend & me, too! In our case, it seemed to be a random Android-Apple problem, but it was WEIRD until we figured it out - texting back and forth, and then all of a sudden, she'd just drop out of the convo.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

This may be a terrible idea, but you could call the non-emergency police number and ask them to do a "welfare check" on the house since the mom and kid have gone off the radar. I know there is a 99% chance they are fine, but if they are fine, then they deserve the embarrassment. And if they aren't fine, well, then it'd be good to get the police involved. 

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The mom and I are not at all close enough for me to do anything out of the ordinary to find out what's going on. (eta:  without me seeming like a weirdo stalker) Our daughters adore each other, but mom and I are just acquaintances.  

 

On a smaller scale, when you see them Tuesday (is that the right day), I would rush up to them and say something like,"Goodness, I am so glad you are all right. I was so concerned about you all weekend, hoping you were fine." If you're christian you could add something about having prayed for them.

 

Okay, I'd probably not be so gutsy as to go to that extreme, but sometimes people need to be called on their rude behavior (assuming this is avoidance, not a real emergency). 

 

Again assuming avoidance, I'd also distance myself from that person because either 1. they do not value my dd's friendship enough to call all weekend, 2. they have no social skills (seriously, if she changed her mind, make a call!), 3. People that avoid confrontation without any concern for how their avoidance will affect a hopeful child get knocked down a peg in my priority friendship, and 4. Really? You think so little of my time and me that you'll just ignore a date we had set. 

 

I'd prefer a blunt honest phone call to these silly games. 

 

I do hope they are all right and it was simply a miscommunication. 

  • Like 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The mom and I are not at all close enough for me to do anything out of the ordinary to find out what's going on. (eta:  without me seeming like a weirdo stalker) Our daughters adore each other, but mom and I are just acquaintances.  

 

Yeah, I couldn't do anything like that in similar circumstances.  A close friend, yes.

 

Please don't forget about us on Tuesday when (I hope) you see them and the mystery is solved.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is one of the rare times when I actually hope the other person ends up just being a jerk.

(As opposed to having had a family emergency or something terrible.)

I agree wholeheartedly.  I hope the other family is fine.  

 

I also hope their cell phone got temporarily damaged and they had no way to contact OP but really agonized over it and will apologize profusely on Tuesday.  

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree wholeheartedly.  I hope the other family is fine.  

 

I also hope their cell phone got temporarily damaged and they had no way to contact OP but really agonized over it and will apologize profusely on Tuesday.  

 

If I had plans with someone and the only thing keeping me from contacting them was a broken phone, then I'd be driving over to their house to explain what was going on.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

If I had plans with someone and the only thing keeping me from contacting them was a broken phone, then I'd be driving over to their house to explain what was going on.

Exactly!

 

I'm thinking family emergency. Only I'm not sure why the daughter didn't reply. I can see the mom being super busy and her reply to you falling off her plate, but kids are usually focused on their friends and would call or text their friend to explain.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just emailed Mom one last time.  (I've only emailed two other times, so I don't think I'll come across like a stalker!)  

 

I said it was too bad the girls weren't able to get together, I hope everything's okay with her and her family, suggested the girls meet up at the park for a play date sometime, and mentioned how much DD enjoys playing with her DD.  (Translation: regardless of what happened, my daughter cares about your daughter and we can move past this.)

I was friendly and kind and none of it was fake.  I'm not angry anymore, just very, very confused.  So, unless I hear from her (and I'm seriously doubting I will) we won't know anything until tomorrow evening. 

  • Like 12
Link to comment
Share on other sites

No, absolutely nothing. My friend would text me, and I wouldn't receive them. Then one day when we were together, and tested it, they started working! If she wasn't such an honest and caring friend I would have thought- Yeah right!

Then it happened in the opposite way with another friend. I had a different phone then, so can't blame that. Maybe, my mobile provider though?

 

This just happened with my ds and I last week.  I wasn't getting any of his texts and he wasn't getting any of mine, but it looked like they were sending.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, my mind would be all over the place. Hopefully, it is a matter of "next Friday" being misinterpreted or something like that, and then embarrassment setting in.

 

I hope you get an answer soon, and you update here.'

 

And, yes, sometimes texts and emails really don't go through.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just emailed Mom one last time. (I've only emailed two other times, so I don't think I'll come across like a stalker!)

 

I said it was too bad the girls weren't able to get together, I hope everything's okay with her and her family, suggested the girls meet up at the park for a play date sometime, and mentioned how much DD enjoys playing with her DD. (Translation: regardless of what happened, my daughter cares about your daughter and we can move past this.)

I was friendly and kind and none of it was fake. I'm not angry anymore, just very, very confused. So, unless I hear from her (and I'm seriously doubting I will) we won't know anything until tomorrow evening.

Wait, you didn't mention that you were worried about alien abduction?

  • Like 12
Link to comment
Share on other sites

This reminds me of crazy-stroller-woman, and how excited I was to find out what the next day would hold in the saga.

 

I truly have no life... :lol:

 

Oh my gosh, I remember her!!!  I can't remember how that ended, but I remember checking back a LOT to hear the next chapter.  Weren't there a couple of days when the OP *didn't* see her and we were all so disappointed??  :lol:

 

Poor "Mom of Friend" has no idea what she's started just by losing her cell phone / being abducted by aliens / entering witness protection.

  • Like 19
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Crazy Stroller Women was such a let down. We all came up with more interesting endings to the saga.

 

And IIRC, the OP never did take any of our wonderful advice about how to handle the CSW  :glare: The ending might not have been so anticlimactic if she had! Of course, it might also have involved the police, so maybe she was right not to listen to us after all.

  • Like 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have a friend who is like this.  She is a dear friend, but sometimes super flaky, as in things like the OP is describing have happened to us and later we find out that she just forgot, or something came up, etc,  etc.  It's a little bizarre, but we love her and her family so much that we have just learned to lower our expectations and expect flaky behavior.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

OK, add me to the list of those who read and is now waiting to find out........ So what time will you be home from class tomorrow :lol: ? I'm on the west coast so I can wait up :laugh: .

 

What if she isn't there tomorrow?

:willy_nilly:

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

What if she isn't there tomorrow?

If she doesn't show for class, I'd ask if anyone had heard from either over the last few days. If no one can say yes, I'd swing by their house. I wouldn't care if it made me look stalkerish. Something might really be up.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

What if she isn't there tomorrow?

 

If it was my acquaintance/daughter's friend, I think them not showing up tonight would prompt a trip to their house or a police welfare check call.  Because then I would go from from worried to terrified.

 

I hope they are there.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

OK, add me to the list of those who read and is now waiting to find out........ So what time will you be home from class tomorrow :lol: ? I'm on the west coast so I can wait up :laugh: .

 

:willy_nilly:

 

I'm in California so the east cost people are going to have to suffer.  Class ends at 6, but I have no idea when I'll get back online (sorry).

 

DD wrote her friend another text last night (basically a "hi what's up?" kind of thing).  No response.   Yesterday afternoon I asked her if she wanted to meet up with Friend at the park or something and she said she didn't want to talk about it.  She's a tenderhearted girl and this has really hurt her.  She's fine as long as she doesn't think about it.  I really, really hope Friend has an apology and reasonable explanation ready for her.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...