Soror Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 I could use some today. I'm generally optimistic and hopeful but I'm feeling a bit dragged down. I was doing so much better but then another cold knocked me down again and I start to think complete recovery will never happen. I know many have it much worse and I should learn to be happy no matter what but then again I don't want to stop fighting to feel normal again. I don't want to give up. So please give me your happy thoughts and please no suck it up and think about all those who have horrible lives, inducing guilt is not helpful to me, if it is for you more power to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 If anyone ever tells you to suck it up and think about those who have horrible lives, you have my permission to hit them with something heavy. Seriously. I hope you feel better soon. :grouphug: And please don't compare yourself with people who have it worse. There will always be someone who has it better and someone who has it worse. It doesn't mean that your feelings aren't just as important as theirs are!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 :grouphug: Ds has severe food allergies. You do find a new normal but never go back to how it was before. I find the comparisons do help me...but generally only when it's me pointing them out to myself. It is hard. Have you given yourself some time to sulk, grump, and throw a tantrum? Sometimes that can help too (although I don't have nearly the energy to slam my feet in the bed in a serious tantrum anymore,..that's exhausting!) ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 I was just thinking of you today and wondering how you were. :grouphug: :grouphug: Hope you have a dramatic turn around as soon as possible. Until then, REST and take care of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morgan Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 I am not sure your situation, but my dh has been dealing with some long term health issues and it has been really exhausting physically, emotionally, and financially. It's obviously the hardest on him, but it is really trying on the whole family. We have started to have "appreciation" time before dinner each night, where each family member says something they appreciate. I have heard of other versions that focus on the best thing that happened to you today, or one positive experience/interaction you had today. I think stopping to focus on something, no matter how small, that was positive and then sharing it before the day ends has been really helpful for us and made us reflect more on the good things that are happening around us, even if health isn't one of :( I am sorry you are having a rough time, I wish I had better advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 No words of wisdom, but loads of hugs!! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 So please give me your happy thoughts and please no suck it up and think about all those who have horrible lives, inducing guilt is not helpful to me, if it is for you more power to you. Sometimes you just need a :grouphug: or :grouphug: :grouphug: . One day at a time, one hour at a time if that is too hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
albeto. Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 (((hugs))) and positive juju sent through the air, via AM radio waves, or satellite, or whatever is most effective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 :grouphug: I hope you feel better soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted June 12, 2014 Author Share Posted June 12, 2014 Someone asked me yesterday how I was feeling and I didn't know how to answer. I don't want to be a self-obsessed moron but it is on mind a lot. I guess I'll get used to it but then again I don't want to give up trying to feel better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted June 12, 2014 Author Share Posted June 12, 2014 I have Hashimotos and Celiac, the Celiac is old hat though. Hashimotos seems like no big thing but it keeps knocking me down. Yet again on the Hashi's boards I visit my experience isn't unique. It is hard for me to recover from anything. I'm thinking I might have to wean the 19mo because the sleep dep isn't helping. It's been 2.5 years now. I am much better than when I was pregnant, much better but still not near what I was in Feb or March when I stupidly thought I would train for a triathlon since I was feeling better. It is hard to plan anything because how I feel changes so much and I keep thinking I'm better and then I'm not. The diet has helped, the thyroid med have helped btu I've got to get more sleep and figure out what else going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 I have Hashimotos and Celiac, the Celiac is old hat though.. And eventually the Hashimotos will be too. But how was it when you first learned about Celiac? I'd expect it to take at least as long to adjust. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 If you deal with the sleep deprivation, you might be pleasantly surprised by how good you feel. When I finally got a consistent 7 hours of sleep without GW waking up and wandering, I noticed an almost immediate improvement in my mood and immune function. I hope you find something to help you too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted June 13, 2014 Author Share Posted June 13, 2014 I do appreciate the hugs and good thoughts. I really do appreciate it. It is just one of those days I wanted to cry. I think it is improving but then the thought of how long I have to go is so big sometimes and then also what if this is my new normal, it seems for some this is the way it is and they just learn to live with it. I've been on the couch nearly all day as I haven't had any energy and just ache and don't feel good, which just feels so wrong and lazy but I cannot make energy appear no matter how much I want it. Anyway, today I'm just a whiny complainy pants, we are going to bed even earlier tonight and I'm going to sleep. If the baby is too bad tonight I'm going to have dh take her for a drive or something. We have to prioritize going to bed extra early. It just has to get done. I'm going to work on tweaking the diet again as I had tried some new foods and I think they are the cause of my flair this week (or I could be wrong in any case it won't hurt to try). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
countrygal Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 I have hashimotos and it does take a long time (months) to feel like a normal person even when your labs are normal. I went through this after several pregnancies. (Pregnancy and nursing hormones DO NOT help!) I have been angry that everyone else seems to have no problems like I do - then I am mad at myself for being such a wimp because many people have it so much worse. Some days are just cruddy - but I bet, in time, you'll feel better. It takes a long time to heal and regulate metabolic and immune system problems. Take care of yourself and try not to be so hard on yourself. One day at a time. It's hard to take care of a crew of young kids even when you are not ill! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted June 13, 2014 Author Share Posted June 13, 2014 countrygal- that is exactly it. I did feel mad at first but now I just feel frustrated. The dr. did say it will likely be 6-12 months before I'm back to 100%, which seems like forever when your in the middle. Dana brought up the Celiac's and I honestly don't remember how long it took to feel good all the time. I've just been on meds 3 weeks and the diet about 6 or so. We made it to bed by 8:30 and dh took the baby for a ride as she didn't want to go to sleep sometimes she can take over an hr to go to sleep, sometimes 2 and then wakes up at least 1-2 x. I have always taken care of the babies as long as they co-sleeped which has been about 2-2.5 years but I just cannot anymore. We did really good when we went to bed at 8 but that seems too early for the summer. I'm banning all the foods from my house that the baby seems to react to, dairy and eggs as she keeps getting into it with the kids leaving things in her reach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 ISeriously, just dealing with a toddler is exhausting. Add chronic illness stuff to that, and it's no wonder you need more sleep...Wishing you a glorious afternoon at the beach followed by a yummy dinner out and some icecream before bed. Or at least some nice music and good tv and a irl friend who understands... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted June 13, 2014 Author Share Posted June 13, 2014 Wow, we could be twins my baby is 19 months old as well! She does wear me out, she has been so high needs/low sleep since she was born. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 I have Hashimotos and gluten-intolerance. Suffered with IBS-D with urgency issues for 20+ years. Honestly, sometimes I just want to be normal. Last week, I went out for a pedicure. First time in years. I never know what is going to cause issues, so I stopped eating at 4 p.m. the night before (no wheat, gluten, etc.) and didn't eat anything in the a.m. except water. I still had issues and had to keep excusing myself from my pedicure. I felt so horrible/embarrassed/etc. The pedicure lady was really nice, though…and as they were not crowded, it wasn't a giant big deal. I did find a way to finish the pedicure…but I was almost in tears because I've been dealing with this for so long, and I still have days where nothing goes right. The Hashimotos hasn't been as difficult, but I lucked out and have had two really great endocrinologists who have helped. The biggest issue I've experienced is fatigue…but I'm not always sure what to attribute to my thyroid and what to having four kids. My kids are great though, and the 10, 8, and 6 year old will help entertain the 3 year old on days when Mom just really really needs a nap. I'm sorry. I hope things get better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
countrygal Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 :grouphug: Taking care of a baby is draining before you add in health problems. Your in the really hard part - weeks out and not feeling much better. It will get better! Don't be afraid to ask for help. Find someone to watch the baby and go to bed early or take a nap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 Someone asked me yesterday how I was feeling and I didn't know how to answer. I don't want to be a self-obsessed moron but it is on mind a lot. I guess I'll get used to it but then again I don't want to give up trying to feel better. I've had to quit answering this question too if you want to simply know that misery has company. :grouphug: Otherwise, when I'm feeling frustrated health-wise (like today, for instance), I'm learning to just allow myself to have a day or two to feel that way rather than getting after myself about it. I'll be lazy and have no regrets - computer games, TV, naps, etc. It's tougher than it sounds, esp when stuff is not getting done or others are having to fill in, but when I start having regrets I remind myself that I'm feeling ____ and I would definitely allow others I know/love to take a break if the situation were reversed, so why won't I allow myself the same? So stuff isn't getting done. The world hasn't ended yet due to it. So others are pitching in more. I'm finding that often gives them a sense of helping out and feeling good. They like it much better than knowing I'm "toughing it out" and/or getting cranky in the process. And, by allowing myself a day (or two) to be frustrated and down in the dumps, it makes it easier after that time period to mentally say, "Ok, enough of feeling sorry for yourself. You've indulged your feelings, but it's time to get a move on with life." It sounds weird, but for me it works. My issues aren't diet related, so I can sometimes feel better just by heading out for a meal too - esp if it wasn't planned (unplanned things are good for my spirit as I'm not a "rut" person). Is there something similar you could do? An unexpected meeting with a friend or a trip to the movies (or something) with/without a babysitter? Just offering some suggestions I'm learning as I go along. They may, or may not, work for you. In either case, I'll offer :grouphug: . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted June 13, 2014 Author Share Posted June 13, 2014 I just had my first appt 3 weeks ago, well I seen someone in March but all she did was order tests. I really like this guy. I actually started feeling better the very first day on hormones and then I got a cold, and then I tested out some foods which means I haven't felt good in nearly 2 weeks, except for 1 day. I wish now I would have found someone to see long ago, I just kept thinking it would/was getting better. I could already be feeling good if I would have pushed this earlier. I think mine is greatly confounded by the sleep dep though so it is hard to say where one starts and one ends. The kids are good and I'm able to get a nap with the baby sometimes. I just have them watch a show. umsami- that sounds so hard :( Normal is underated. I know I'd love just to be able to eat whatever but then again it is good to be able to change the diet and have it help. I know the feeling of wanting to cry. It is also hard because people say/think you are perfectly healthy and they don't see it. I try to act normal in public and when it is real bad I try to stay home the best I can. creekland- I do try to do some things but having the energy to get out is sometimes an issue. I did have a nice day out the other day and visited with a friend who is having similar struggles. It was nice not to have to put on a show and act better than I feel. I do feel better having a big whine, it does seem to make it feel easier, although at the time I feel guilty once I get it out I feel better able to handle it all and ready to tackle it again. I'm trying to embrace what I need to do to feel better. I guess I just feel like if I don't stop trying to push and feel better than I won't ever be up and around. Today is already better. I'm still tired but not near as bad. I think I'll take a nap in a bit and hopefully I can cook supper myself tonight and not leave it for dh. Thank goodness we got the house pretty clean on Sun so it is easier to keep up. My kids help a ton, they are really great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 I try to act normal in public and when it is real bad I try to stay home the best I can. creekland- I do try to do some things but having the energy to get out is sometimes an issue. I did have a nice day out the other day and visited with a friend who is having similar struggles. It was nice not to have to put on a show and act better than I feel. I do feel better having a big whine, it does seem to make it feel easier, although at the time I feel guilty once I get it out I feel better able to handle it all and ready to tackle it again. Definitely the same here with public vs private. I feel like home is my cave and I retreat there when I'm not feeling well. I usually tend to stay away from much online too - or I just stay away from anything health related discussion-wise. A friend of mine who has gone through similar enough stuff is worth her weight in gold. I'm glad you have one to confide in! Many others just don't know what to say/do and I can respect that. I didn't know either before being in this situation. So, for staying in and indulging. Can you spontaneously do a "movie" or "old TV show" or similar day? Do you have Netflix or similar? Or can you consider getting it? What did you enjoy watching as a kid? If possible, it can be time to introduce your offspring to some favorites... all with basic "help yourself" foods (ok, maybe not for the 19 month old!) and similar. And on future "wow I feel like ____" days you can have another one. Chances are the kids might like it - so you've made them happy to have a special day - and get to lounge around doing next to nothing with some fun reminiscing. Again, another thought that won't necessarily work for you... but even before I could blame health issues, my guys got to enjoy The Beverly Hillbillies, Hogan's Heroes, Gilligan's Island, MASH, Quincy, Columbo, and more. Right now they are finding they like Magnum PI... and mine are older now! I'm glad your kids are gems - that makes a ton of difference too. I hope you get to enjoy your nap and dinner (regardless of who makes it)! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted June 13, 2014 Author Share Posted June 13, 2014 Creekland- I love the idea of making an official day of being lazy, they would like that. Usually it just ends up that way as I figure out I'm not up to do anything. I did get a nap in and exercised a bit to try and ease the pain in my neck. Unfortunately I have more than one friend who has had struggles with illness and my kids and dh are awesome. I asked dh if he wanted me to help cook last night and he insisted that I lay down. I have been at least sitting up today and not laying down all day. Hopefully tomorrow is even better. I need to try and rest when I feel the need and hopefully that will help me heal sooner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 Creekland- I love the idea of making an official day of being lazy, they would like that. Usually it just ends up that way as I figure out I'm not up to do anything. I did get a nap in and exercised a bit to try and ease the pain in my neck. Unfortunately I have more than one friend who has had struggles with illness and my kids and dh are awesome. I asked dh if he wanted me to help cook last night and he insisted that I lay down. I have been at least sitting up today and not laying down all day. Hopefully tomorrow is even better. I need to try and rest when I feel the need and hopefully that will help me heal sooner. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Mental rest is just as important and physical, IMHO. If you are physically resting but you are also worrying about all the things you feel you should be doing you are not actually resting. I know I'm not when I'm in that state, anyway. Make sure you are resting mentally, too, o.k? Best wishes always. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 Thinking of you, soror. Hope you start feeling better with each day. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 I could use some today. I'm generally optimistic and hopeful but I'm feeling a bit dragged down. I was doing so much better but then another cold knocked me down again and I start to think complete recovery will never happen. I know many have it much worse and I should learn to be happy no matter what but then again I don't want to stop fighting to feel normal again. I don't want to give up. So please give me your happy thoughts and please no suck it up and think about all those who have horrible lives, inducing guilt is not helpful to me, if it is for you more power to you. I hope today was better than yesterday. We live that life. It's hard to stay chipper when every day is a challenge. Every. Friggin. Day. Can you make sure you do something you love every day? Some days you might be up for an all-day field trip. Other days raiding your secret stash of good chocolates may be as ambitious as it gets. Still, do SOMETHING you love. Keep a running list of low energy ambitions so you don't forget (book on tape, movie, calling a far away friend). Can the older kids watch a movie with the 4-year-old allowing you to nap with the baby each day. Life with a baby is exhausting for healthy people. It's no wonder you are running on fumes. Can you do an evening class on e a week? A regular night out to a non-physically taxing event HAS to be more restorative than being the mother of FOUR with no breaks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 :grouphug: hope you feel better soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 Creekland- I love the idea of making an official day of being lazy, they would like that. Well, if your days vary (as mine do), don't "plan" the date or you can rest assured that particular day you'll feel perfectly fine and then sheepish about it being lazy. BTDT Just have "planned" what you want to do and have it on hand or know how you're sending someone else to get it (movies, TV shows, food, whatever) and declare "Today's an official 'Enjoy being lazy!' day" when the mood/symptoms are right for it. No cleaning, as basic as it gets food prep, and as minimal as possible ALL around. ;) It sounds like you have a terrific family. They'll likely enjoy participating in things like this with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted June 14, 2014 Author Share Posted June 14, 2014 Thanks again for well wishes everyone. I've felt better and better today, and we getting ready to go to bed here at 8:30. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Mental rest is just as important and physical, IMHO. If you are physically resting but you are also worrying about all the things you feel you should be doing you are not actually resting. I know I'm not when I'm in that state, anyway. Make sure you are resting mentally, too, o.k? Best wishes always. That is a good reminder, I'm trying, some days are better than others. I hope today was better than yesterday. We live that life. It's hard to stay chipper when every day is a challenge. Every. Friggin. Day. Can you make sure you do something you love every day? Some days you might be up for an all-day field trip. Other days raiding your secret stash of good chocolates may be as ambitious as it gets. Still, do SOMETHING you love. Keep a running list of low energy ambitions so you don't forget (book on tape, movie, calling a far away friend). Can the older kids watch a movie with the 4-year-old allowing you to nap with the baby each day. Life with a baby is exhausting for healthy people. It's no wonder you are running on fumes. Can you do an evening class on e a week? A regular night out to a non-physically taxing event HAS to be more restorative than being the mother of FOUR with no breaks. I love the idea of making a list of things to do on those bad days. I considered taking classes or a lot of other things to give me something to do but I don't want any commitments now. I have been trying to have more time with friends but it isn't always easy to do with everyone's schedule. Well, if your days vary (as mine do), don't "plan" the date or you can rest assured that particular day you'll feel perfectly fine and then sheepish about it being lazy. BTDT Just have "planned" what you want to do and have it on hand or know how you're sending someone else to get it (movies, TV shows, food, whatever) and declare "Today's an official 'Enjoy being lazy!' day" when the mood/symptoms are right for it. No cleaning, as basic as it gets food prep, and as minimal as possible ALL around. ;) It sounds like you have a terrific family. They'll likely enjoy participating in things like this with you. That is a great idea to plan for those bad days, then perhaps I can take the rest I need without guilt and the kids can enjoy it as well. I need to do some freezer meals for those days and I'm really hoping that they become much more rare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiramisu Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Soror, I was a long term nurser and co-sleeper. None of my kids slept well and twice I had to wean and not let it happen naturally. Once was because of a new pregnancy that made me very sick and the other time was because of a health problem. I was at such low points both times. I hated to do it but I felt like I had no choice for my survival. Weaning did help. It helped even with the unrelated sleep issues because it gave dh more of an opening to help in the middle of the night. Afterward, I never questioned if it was worth it, though there was some moments of lingering sadness...like when dd asked six months later if I was better yet! I hope that each day you are a step closer to feeling better and the time when you really feel good comes soon. Until that time comes, be patient with yourself. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted June 14, 2014 Author Share Posted June 14, 2014 I'm not sure if I will full on wean or night wean or what but I've got to do something different. I'm at the end of my rope and whatever it takes I've got to get more sleep, it will be ok if I have to wean I just cannot take it anymore. Dh always offers to take her when she gets bad but I never let him, no more. I've decided it is early to bed and naps until I at least get caught up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted June 15, 2014 Author Share Posted June 15, 2014 Sigh. Well, I think I killed lots of kittens in a past life because I'm going to have to go to the dr. tomorrow as I've had another health issue come up. I think and hope it will be easily addressed but I'm really tired of new things popping up, I've got plenty already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirth Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/regionals/west/2014/05/31/open-letter-luke-voss-kernan-graduating-classmates/uqKf5svClo7Y83hFSqhSHN/story.html?s_campaign=sm_tw Excerpt: Be happy, pig-in-**** happy, for what you have. Even when you have little. Or when you think you have little. Because just by graduating from college and reading this missive you have so much more than most people on the planet will ever have, or have ever had. Including time. TIME to be happy, fall in love, fall out of love, ride a bike, fall off a bike, get back on, write a song or symphony, paint a painting, pop a wheelie, stand in awe. That’s it really. In three words. Stand in awe. LVK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 Sigh. Well, I think I killed lots of kittens in a past life because I'm going to have to go to the dr. tomorrow as I've had another health issue come up. I think and hope it will be easily addressed but I'm really tired of new things popping up, I've got plenty already. :grouphug: I hope the Dr visit goes well... and is something rather easily fixable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted June 18, 2014 Author Share Posted June 18, 2014 My visit went ok. I'm not entirely satisfied with this doctors approach but as it is only $5 for the visit and tests so at least it is a start. I will be talking to the Integrative Dr. in Aug. I'm feeling much better this week. I'm trying to get caught up on sleep and that is helping. I had dh take the baby several nights for a drive so I could sleep more. I've been a bit wired since Sun when the new issue developed but I'm calming down a bit so hopefully my sleep will get better. I also discovered that the baby is teething so that has certainly not been helping her sleep either, so at least there should hopefully be an end point soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 I'm glad you're feeling a little better at least. Being able to catch up on sleep undoubtedly helps. Teething? Maybe not so much, but sooner or later... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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