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What do you think of this living situation?


Whereneverever
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I think it all depends on location.

 

When my oldest was 10 he was moved out to the room 5 meters from the house. it has a toilet and the laundry. I would walk him out every night and tuck him in until he was around 14. We live way out whop-whop. At the time our house was so small that DH and I were sleeping out on the outside veranda which was about 3 meters from his room. in reality he was just as close in distance as the rest of the kids in their bedroom.

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I'd need to know a LOT more details before I could make a judgment.  Like the maturity of the kid, the location (how safe it is), what the family envisions daily life looking like, etc.

 

I don't automatically assume the kid would be spending 22 hours a day alone, or locked out of the main house at night.  It's possible they're in an ultra safe area where it's not necessary at all to lock doors at night.

 

So I guess my answer is that I don't automatically think it's a horrible idea.  Totally depends on the circumstances and the kid's maturity level.  I could easily see a mature, introverted 10 year old who lives in a very safe area being totally happy in that scenario.  I can see it being a horrible idea under other circumstances.

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No. Never. Irresponsible. But, others in this thread have done similar things and it worked out OK... :-)

Emotionally I don't think it would be healthy for a 10 yo to feel separated from his family in that way even if the actual distance is no further than some big houses. I would also worry about fire because kids are notorious for sleeping through smoke detectors.

 

I feel the same way about this as I do parents who leave kids alone all day to homeschool while parents work. It won't kill them certainly and it may even be the best solution for their circumstances....but just not ideal at all.

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We have a similar outbuilding on our property and It would not work for my family.

 

For another I'd be worried about whether there is any way the parents would hear the child if there is an emergency?  Some kind of baby monitor or something similar?  Even if the child is OK with the arrangements, 10 seems a bit young to be responsible for your own safety and care if ill.

 

I would consider it at around 16.

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I would. I had debated building 3 Tiny Houses instead of a house. Two smaller ones would have served as bedrooms with bathroom and the third would be a central kitchen/family/living area. We live rural. The only problem would be when we have mountain lions on the property. But still, not enough of an on going issue to convince me not to change my mind.

 

Mine does!

 

My mom grew up this way--a kitchen house, a sleeping house, a bath house. They were very rural. The bath house had running water but only the kitchen had hot water. It never got really cold there, though. No scary predators either.

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I think it all depends on location.

 

When my oldest was 10 he was moved out to the room 5 meters from the house. it has a toilet and the laundry. I would walk him out every night and tuck him in until he was around 14. We live way out whop-whop. At the time our house was so small that DH and I were sleeping out on the outside veranda which was about 3 meters from his room. in reality he was just as close in distance as the rest of the kids in their bedroom.

 

OT:  I have never heard this phrase before and it is cracking me up!  :smilielol5:

 

Back on topic:  I would not do it as a permanent situation.  My DS would be far too lonesome, and I probably wouldn't be able to sleep either, with my brain churning all the what-ifs. 

 

But, as a daytime playhouse, fine.  Sleep out there one or two nights, once in a while, fine.  Even sharing the house with one parent on a long-term basis would be fine if it really had to be done.

 

But, instead of going for OP's friend's solution, I'd be brainstorming like crazy to figure out how to make the main house work for everyone.

 

 

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Is there such a huge difference between some 10 year old boys and some 13 year old girls?? Probably not, I'd imagine.

 

LOL

 

Yes. Ten year old boys are like an average taken between a college frat boy and toddler. Sometimes the toddler part of them shows wisdom beyond their years, which is nice but not to be counted on.

 

Mine anyway. :lol:

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One of my friends is planning to move their ten year old out of their house to another building on their property. It's probably 20 meters or so from the main house to the building.

 

Building will have a bathroom and heat, water, and electricity. It looks pretty cool, actually.

 

Does it seem weird to move a kid that age like that? Or am I weird?

 

My adopted grandmother's son lived in a separate building from about that age on. It didn't have any plumbing, though. Even after he returned from his career in the Navy, his father had passed away, and his sister had moved across the country, he still lived out there. 

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I would allow it with walkie talkies available so he could contact me if needed.  It's no different imo than the series of nights my ds10 slept in the tent in the yard this summer (while he was still 9 to boot).  He is the type that would love that situation and does know what to do in a dangerous situation having dealt with a couple without me there to help him out.  Over all if I had the space and my ds was asking for it I would allow it with the understanding that it is up for mutual agreement and monitoring.  Meaning if sleeping out there meant he was staying up too late, or sneaking out or doing other things against the rules it would end.  As well the main house door would remain unlocked so he could come back in at anytime, it's not an exile, it's a choice being made and could be changed at anytime as soon as he felt it was not what he wanted after all.

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