Potlucks -- has anyone but me never, ever been to one?

[Catwoman]

Lemme guess. Never been to church, not into local party politics and have homeschooled since day one? Most potlucks/stone soups/covered dish suppers (yes they are all the same darn thing people) that I have been to have something to do with church, school or political committees.

I don't go to church, but I was raised Catholic, and we had Bingo, not potlucks. :D

 

Our local political meetings that involve food are held in restaurants or banquet halls.

 

I have homeschooled since day one, but our local public schools don't do potlucks, either. Usually, people buy tickets for different types of banquets.

 

Honestly, everyone we know just hires caterers or books rooms in restaurants. I'm sure my mom never attended a potluck, so that's probably why I never did, either.

 

I got curious about this and called a few friends, and they have never been to a potluck, either, so at least it's not just me. I wonder if they're simply not a common thing where we live. Or maybe some of the non-Catholic churches have them, but they don't publicize them.

 

This thread has turned out to be pretty cool. Thanks to everyone who has been posting! :)

[Catwoman]

Everyone please take note: Cat did not deny. Just saying.

  

Hey!  That's what I was thinking!  Kelly - is that you?

Sadly, I don't have enough Really Big Hair to qualify as a cast member, and I'm too chicken to get gigantic implants. Also, I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to spray-tan.

 

Another opportunity for fame has slipped through my fingers.

[mytwomonkeys]

Lemme guess. Never been to church, not into local party politics and have homeschooled since day one? Most potlucks/stone soups/covered dish suppers (yes they are all the same darn thing people) that I have been to have something to do with church, school or political committees.

 

not always. we had a memorial day party & people brought things. i went to a halloween party a couple of weeks ago & we all brought different things.  i'm going to a baby shower in two weeks, and again, I'm going to bring food to that.  although, i will say, our potlucks aren't usually random. we often divide and conquer here. maybe my friends are all cheap or something, lol. we share food a lot! :)

[Catwoman]

I want to be in Brad Pitt's potluck club. Or key club. Whatever. Wait, can't he afford to just cater his parties? Or have his chef do the cooking?

You're going to have to ask Dandelion. It's her club. :D

[SKL]

Sorry!  They used to have potlucks at church when I was a little girl.

 

I must say I don't hear about potlucks much any more.  Maybe because people have gotten too afraid of what people might be doing with the food or what it might contain.  It's a shame.  My kids' church parties just have crap like pizza and hotdogs.

[KrissiK]

Our church potlucks are amazing. But no thanks to me. I always remember them at 8:00am on the Sunday that they are. Fortunately, I always keep a package of Costco Chinese Chicken Salad in the freezer and that's what I bring. Every single time. We have some amazing cooks in our church.

[KungFuPanda]

I have never been to a potluck supper, lunch, dinner, breakfast, brunch, or any other event with the word "potluck" in the title.

 

We don't even do the potluck thing at family parties. If you host a party, it's all on you to provide the food and beverages.

 

Am I the only one?

 

IMPORTANT NOTE: If this thread goes on for a little while, and it looks like I really and truly am the only one, I hope at least a few people will lie to make me feel like I'm not a complete freak.

You've never taken a dish to an event where others also bring a dish to share? How is that possible.

[Catwoman]

You've never taken a dish to an event where others also bring a dish to share? How is that possible.

No, I haven't. Why wouldn't it be possible? :confused: I'm not even sure I would be comfortable eating food prepared in so many different kitchens by so many different people. (I'm kind of a germaphobe.)

 

Actually, I can't believe I'm one of only a few people here who has never done that.

 

I feel like I must live in an entirely different world or something. But I kind of liked the idea of the potluck thingie with the pies. I like pie. :)

[LucyStoner]

Our local political meetings that involve food are held in restaurants or banquet halls.

 

I have homeschooled since day one, but our local public schools don't do potlucks, either. Usually, people buy tickets for different types of banquets.

 

Honestly, everyone we know just hires caterers or books rooms in restaurants.

By political events I don't mean the election night parties or the fundraisers. I am thinking monthly central committee potluck chili with crazy cranky Democrat precinct captains. But maybe that's just here. Or me. ;)

 

Honestly, and I don't mean anything bad by this, I think it is a demographic/economic thing. People need money to go to restaurants and hire caterers. Many families and organizations don't have those sorts of resources. Based on a lot of your threads, I kinda assume you have a somewhat affluent background.

[TXMomof4]

The best recipes in my recipe file have all come from potlucks. Its fun to see what the regional differences are. In TX of course there's always BBQ. In KS we got sauerkraut and hot dogs (gag), GA always had a plethora of peach desserts. We've only been to one in El Paso but had the yummiest cheese, hominy and green chili casserole. I have to figure out who made it so I can get that recipe.

[Catwoman]

By political events I don't mean the election night parties or the fundraisers. I am thinking monthly central committee potluck chili with crazy cranky Democrat precinct captains. But maybe that's just here. Or me. ;)

 

Honestly, and I don't mean anything bad by this, I think it is a demographic/economic thing. People need money to go to restaurants and hire caterers. Many families and organizations don't have those sorts of resources. Based on a lot of your threads, I kinda assume you have a somewhat affluent background.

Your meetings sound like they're more fun than the ones around here. :D In our area, pretty much anything with food is held at a restaurant. It's not always anything fancy, though. Maybe the people just aren't that fond of each other and worry that someone might try to poison them if they were allowed to bring food from home to share with the group, so they figure it would be safer to eat out.

 

I hadn't thought about it until you mentioned it, but I guess it could be a demographic/economic thing. Or else I just don't get invited out much. It could really go either way. :D From what I'm reading here, though, potlucks seem to be common among all different kinds of people, so I just don't have a clue. I knew that people have mentioned them a lot here over the years, but I never knew they were so common.

 

Maybe that explains the strong feelings about crockpots...

 

Uh oh.

 

I said CROCKPOT. :eek:

[gardenmom5]

to catwoman -

 

Inconceivable!

 

(I've been to potlucks that were not called "potlucks".)

[KungFuPanda]

No, I haven't. Why wouldn't it be possible? :confused: I'm not even sure I would be comfortable eating food prepared in so many different kitchens by so many different people. (I'm kind of a germaphobe.)

 

Actually, I can't believe I'm one of only a few people here who has never done that.

 

I feel like I must live in an entirely different world or something. But I kind of liked the idea of the potluck thingie with the pies. I like pie. :)

Not even FUNERALS? What else can you do when someone dies but take food to their family?

[mytwomonkeys]

No, I haven't. Why wouldn't it be possible? :confused: I'm not even sure I would be comfortable eating food prepared in so many different kitchens by so many different people. (I'm kind of a germaphobe.

lol. Well the food is prepared by people you know! So the kitchens usually belong to friends & people's homes you would probably eat at anyway.

 

Speaking of potluck. I have a Tastefully Simple party I have to attend tomorrow & just received an email asking if I can bring this mocha coffee ice cream drink thing-y. I've never even made it, so it has a grocery list and instructions, lol.

[Carrie12345]

Sorry, Catwoman! I'm an extreme introvert, almost to the point of being a hermit, and I've been to lots of potlucks, lol.

[Catwoman]

Not even FUNERALS? What else can you do when someone dies but take food to their family?

When someone dies, you call them, send a sympathy card or a Mass card, or order a fruit basket to be delivered to them, and you'd also send flowers to the funeral home or make a charitable donation on their behalf if that's what they've requested, but no one I know would show up at someone's house with a casserole or anything like that.

 

Why would people bring food to a funeral? In our family, after the service and the cemetery, everyone is invited to a local restaurant. I have occasionally been to people's homes after a funeral, but even then, people don't show up with food. It's usually catered, although I've been to one or two where a member of the deceased person's family or their housekeeper cooked. But our family just does the restaurant thing. It's easier, and there's no clean-up afterward.

 

If someone wants to send something after someone dies, they might send a fruit basket to their home or something, but it's not like someone would show up at the door with a casserole.

[QueenCat]

I can't imagine having never attended a covered dish or potluck. To me, they are two different things. With a covered dish, people sign up ahead of time for what they are bringing to avoid duplication. With a potluck, anything goes, and  you can end up with too many vegies, not enough meat, and no bread. Around here, I see both, along with catered meals and meeting in restaurants. A group I'm in that meets tonight has each person take a month that they are in charge. For their month, they provide everything (food, drinks, etc). Some make it all themselves, others cater it. It's a group of 10-12 so cooking isn't too hard.

[Scarlett]

Cat I have relatives that won't eat at other people's houses. I am talking close friends and family! They think no one notices, but we all do. we even have fun with it....they crack us up with their little 'tricks' and excuses to avoid eating food others have prepared. And yet they will eat out at restaurants. ...It was that extreme attitude and lack of logic that relaxed my own discomfort with covered dish events.....now I eat and enjoy. I have never gotten ill from a covered dish party...well unless you count feeling kinda green from too much cake or something. ;) There is always the odd person in the group that we might be nervous about.....but it has worked out. If they ask, we have that person bring chips or ice or paper products. ( now everyone who has ever been asked to bring those items is wondering if it is because no one wants toast their food! LOL)

[unsinkable]

When someone dies, you call them, send a sympathy card or a Mass card, or order a fruit basket to be delivered to them, and you'd also send flowers to the funeral home or make a charitable donation on their behalf if that's what they've requested, but no one I know would show up at someone's house with a casserole or anything like that.

 

Why would people bring food to a funeral? In our family, after the service and the cemetery, everyone is invited to a local restaurant. I have occasionally been to people's homes after a funeral, but even then, people don't show up with food. It's usually catered, although I've been to one or two where a member of the deceased person's family or their housekeeper cooked. But our family just does the restaurant thing. It's easier, and there's no clean-up afterward.

 

If someone wants to send something after someone dies, they might send a fruit basket to their home or something, but it's not like someone would show up at the door with a casserole.

It funny how on such an open-minded, well-educated board, people can't believe your culture is different from theirs.

[Scarlett]

When someone dies, you call them, send a sympathy card or a Mass card, or order a fruit basket to be delivered to them, and you'd also send flowers to the funeral home or make a charitable donation on their behalf if that's what they've requested, but no one I know would show up at someone's house with a casserole or anything like that.

 

Why would people bring food to a funeral? In our family, after the service and the cemetery, everyone is invited to a local restaurant. I have occasionally been to people's homes after a funeral, but even then, people don't show up with food. It's usually catered, although I've been to one or two where a member of the deceased person's family or their housekeeper cooked. But our family just does the restaurant thing. It's easier, and there's no clean-up afterward.

 

If someone wants to send something after someone dies, they might send a fruit basket to their home or something, but it's not like someone would show up at the door with a casserole.

So interesting. I remember how shocked I was when my FIL died and only one person, a neighbor, showed up with food. In my world, as soon as someone dies food begins arriving. It is done as a matter of practicality because even grieving people have to eat and relatives often start showing up from out of town. We don't take food to the actual funeral but there is always a gathering afterward, almost always someone's home, to eat and mingle with those who attended the funeral.

[LucyStoner]

Why would people bring food to a funeral? In our family, after the service and the cemetery, everyone is invited to a local restaurant. I have occasionally been to people's homes after a funeral, but even then, people don't show up with food. It's usually catered, although I've been to one or two where a member of the deceased person's family or their housekeeper cooked. But our family just does the restaurant thing. It's easier, and there's no clean-up afterward.

 

 

After my FIL died we had a banquet at a local restaurant. I think I wrote a check for $3000 something not including the bar. This made perfect sense to my husband's affluent family but was definitely not the norm for my family. When my grandmother died, we hosted a get together in the atrium of her condo. We provided a fair bit of food but all of the little old ladies, mostly middle class, brought food too. It's just what you do. Show up to an after funeral party or wake empty handed? Ha ha ha.

 

While an affluent person can choose between a potluck or a restaurant, a working class family can not. So it's not to say that people who are affluent or well off never have potlucks or vice versa, but it is to say it's not the defaulted norm.

[Isabella]

They are not called potluck here in Australia. so I have never been to a function with potluck in the title.

 Here they are called a BBQ, everyone brings some meat and a salad and combine it all. I am guessing it is similar to potluck

 

Maybe not in your part of Australia, but we have plenty of potlucks here in country West Aust...always with church folk though.  If it's outside our church group, it's usually just a BBQ.

 

[Scarlett]

It funny how on such an open-minded, well-educated board, people can't believe your culture is different from theirs.

Well I am not very open minded or educated. ;). I do realize there are different cultures though. It is sort of hard to imagine.

[mytwomonkeys]

It definitely could be a demographic thing, but I don't think it's an economic thing.  My mom & sisters often have parties that have covered dishes (nice distinction CathieC!! :D ), and they can definitely afford catering.  I often think it gives women an opportunity to show off a little the things they make best.  For me, well... that's unfortunately nothing, lol.  But for a lot of people in my area & where I grew up in Atlanta, there are some serious bragalicious things to eat!  My family is from Scranton, PA & they have pot lucks up there too, so I'm not sure... it just must be uncommon among the northern city folk :)

[unsinkable]

Well I am not very open minded or educated. ;). I do realize there are different cultures though. It is sort of hard to imagine.

Lol...

 

I had an LDS friend who had never heard of having a potluck funeral breakfast at people's homes. It horrified her. But she was like 19...

[AlmiraGulch]

I don't go to church, but I was raised Catholic, and we had Bingo, not potlucks. :D

 

Our local political meetings that involve food are held in restaurants or banquet halls.

 

I have homeschooled since day one, but our local public schools don't do potlucks, either. Usually, people buy tickets for different types of banquets.

 

Honestly, everyone we know just hires caterers or books rooms in restaurants. I'm sure my mom never attended a potluck, so that's probably why I never did, either.

 

I got curious about this and called a few friends, and they have never been to a potluck, either, so at least it's not just me. I wonder if they're simply not a common thing where we live. Or maybe some of the non-Catholic churches have them, but they don't publicize them.

 

This thread has turned out to be pretty cool. Thanks to everyone who has been posting! :)

 

I have to say that I grew up Catholic, too, and we did not usually have potlucks, although I think I recall a couple.   Most of the ones I've been to have been at work (TONS of work potlucks), with friends, and of course family. 

[Catwoman]

It funny how on such an open-minded, well-educated board, people can't believe your culture is different from theirs.

I'm starting to think my culture is just weird.

 

I'm also thinking that if we ever move someplace else, I'm going to be spending a lot of time here on this forum, asking for advice on how to handle social situations, because I am realizing that what is normal for us would be considered rude or strange by a lot of people in other places.

[LuvToRead]

I love potlucks, but you gotta be careful.  What you think are potatoes could actually be turnips. :001_smile:  I'm on the kitchen committee at church, so I get to see who brought in the dish.  This can be very helpful if your trying to avoid certain people's food.

[Catwoman]

Well I am not very open minded or educated. ;). I do realize there are different cultures though. It is sort of hard to imagine.

You've always seem educated and open-minded to me. :)

 

I can understand why it's hard for you to imagine things the way we do them -- I'm feeling the same way from the other side of the fence, although I have read many, many posts here over the years about people showing up at people's houses with food, and the potluck topic is mentioned quite a bit as well.

[AlmiraGulch]

 

Why would people bring food to a funeral? In our family, after the service and the cemetery, everyone is invited to a local restaurant. I have occasionally been to people's homes after a funeral, but even then, people don't show up with food. It's usually catered, although I've been to one or two where a member of the deceased person's family or their housekeeper cooked. But our family just does the restaurant thing. It's easier, and there's no clean-up afterward.

 

If someone wants to send something after someone dies, they might send a fruit basket to their home or something, but it's not like someone would show up at the door with a casserole.

 

Catering after a funeral?  People have housekeepers who cook?

 

I've never heard of either of these things.  How interesting!  I'm not sure it's an economic thing (well...the "housekeepers who cook" thing is).  I'm from a solidly middle class background but definitely have relatives who have risen far beyond that economically.  Even at the most recent funerals I attended there was no catering, or restaurants.  At the last two (this year) there are groups of (mostly) women who prepare the large meal, potluck style, for all of the funeral attendees, and it's served in the church hall.  I think the churches allocate money for supplies and maybe the meat, but everything else was clearly homemade and served by the women of the group.

 

Otherwise, it has always been back to someone's house, and everyone brought something.

 

The one exception was just last week at my great-uncle's funeral, where the meal was at a restaurant, but it was the restaurant that their family owns and runs, and it was closed to the public that day. 

[Scarlett]

 

 

I can understand why it's hard for you to imagine things the way we do them -- I'm feeling the same way from the other side of the fence, although I have read many, many posts here over the years about people showing up at people's houses with food, and the potluck topic is mentioned quite a bit as well.

It is one of the things I love about this board. Seeing all the different ways people live.

[LuvToRead]

I've only been to one funeral meal that was catered, and I came home with food poisoning.  Around here, typically churches provide a meal after a funeral for the family.  My church in particular provides meat, bread, drinks, potatoes, and salad.  We ask ladies of the church to bring a dessert.  

[Catwoman]

It is one of the things I love about this board. Seeing all the different ways people live.

Same here! :)

[Scarlett]

Catering after a funeral? People have housekeepers who cook?.

I know right?

 

My best friend ended up very very wealthy....and she has the big house where everyone gathers....but still when she hosts events people contribute. It really is a cultural thing more than economic thing.

[Catwoman]

I've only been to one funeral meal that was catered, and I came home with food poisoning. Around here, typically churches provide a meal after a funeral for the family. My church in particular provides meat, bread, drinks, potatoes, and salad. We ask ladies of the church to bring a dessert.

That is just awful. It's bad enough to have to go to a funeral, but to top off the day with food poisoning is horrible. :grouphug:

 

I think it's cool that churches provide a meal after a funeral. Maybe some of the churches around here do it, too. We used to sponsor the youth program for a tiny church that a friend attended, and I'm pretty sure they did things like that. We didn't attend the church, but they did a lot of good work for their community, so it was nice to be able to help them out. They were a very close-knit group of people, and they were very friendly. I think the church ladies even cooked for other occasions, like showers and small wedding receptions in the church hall.

[Catwoman]

I know right?

 

My best friend ended up very very wealthy....and she has the big house where everyone gathers....but still when she hosts events people contribute. It really is a cultural thing more than economic thing.

I agree that it's probably more of a cultural thing than an economic thing. If I was part of a family or a group of friends that did that stuff, I'd do it, too. Some of it sounds like fun (well, except for the funeral part!!!)

[unsinkable]

I agree that it's probably more of a cultural thing than an economic thing. If I was part of a family or a group of friends that did that stuff, I'd do it, too. Some of it sounds like fun (well, except for the funeral part!!!)

Yeah, the reason for the funeral breakfast, potluck, etc sucks.

 

Especially when you know the dead person would have LOVED it.

[Scarlett]

I agree that it's probably more of a cultural thing than an economic thing. If I was part of a family or a group of friends that did that stuff, I'd do it, too. Some of it sounds like fun (well, except for the funeral part!!!)

The funeral part doesn't sound fun? LOL. Well, it is done for practical reasons more so than fun, but we always end up having a good time even though we are grieving,. My good friend recently died of breast cancer...she was only 36....after her Memorial Service we had a big gathering.....organized covered dish...and everyone had a good time. Even her 13 year old dd was goofing with her friends taking pictures....she recently posted the pics on her FB. It was sweet.

[Catwoman]

Yeah, the reason for the funeral breakfast, potluck, etc sucks.

 

Especially when you know the dead person would have LOVED it.

Yeah, you kind of wonder if they're looking down on the gathering and saying, "Finally, a decent buffet. It's about time. And here I am, too dead to enjoy it." ;)

[Catwoman]

The funeral part doesn't sound fun? LOL. Well, it is done for practical reasons more so than fun, but we always end up having a good time even though we are grieving,. My good friend recently died of breast cancer...she was only 36....after her Memorial Service we had a big gathering.....organized covered dish...and everyone had a good time. Even her 13 year old dd was goofing with her friends taking pictures....she recently posted the pics on her FB. It was sweet.

I'm sorry about your friend. :(

[Library Momma]

I just saw this thread and I have to say that I've never been to a potluck either.  I didn't realize though that I had to type it in tiny little embarrassed font.  I've been in situations where I've had to bring cupcakes (yikes should that be in tiny font too?) or a specific item to a party or event but I've never been somewhere where everyone brings a dish and you don't know what you are going to get.  And definitely no one ever called it a potluck.  I've never even heard of a covered dish supper (I've never even actually heard anyone say supper in real life).  Catwoman you are not alone.

[Catwoman]

I just saw this thread and I have to say that I've never been to a potluck either. I didn't realize though that I had to type it in tiny little embarrassed font. I've been in situations where I've had to bring cupcakes (yikes should that be in tiny font too?) or a specific item to a party or event but I've never been somewhere where everyone brings a dish and you don't know what you are going to get. And definitely no one ever called it a potluck. I've never even heard of a covered dish supper (I've never even actually heard anyone say supper in real life). Catwoman you are not alone.

:party:

[susankenny]

I've never even heard of a covered dish supper (I've never even actually heard anyone say supper in real life).  

 

You've never yelled, "Supper time!!".  lol. That is more shocking to me than not attending a potluck! :lol:

[LucyStoner]

Y'all are cracking me up. Being able to choose between making food and paying for food is most definitely tied to economics. Again, potlucks are a big part of American culture and are seen in all sorts of income levels but having the option of pricey prepared or catered foods is something that comes with money.

When you don't have a lot of money even paying for a burial or cremation may be out of reach or a struggle. People bring food and in some very low income groups, cash, at least in part because they know the financial strain the family may be going through. Or they assume they are going through.

At my mother's funeral, we had everyone from homeless people to elected officials (my mom was a much loved community volunteer) and I had homeless women and men and very low income people palming me cash because they wanted to contribute. Financially we were more than fine but it would have been insulting to refuse. My affluent family (ie: my inlaws) sent baskets and flowers. Everyone has different norms about death. We donated that money and more back to the place where she volunteered.

[Catwoman]

You've never yelled, "Supper time!!". lol. That is more shocking to me than not attending a potluck! :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Library Momma]

You've never yelled, "Supper time!!".  lol. That is more shocking to me than not attending a potluck! :lol:

 

I think I would get blank stares but I may just do that tonight and see what happens.

[Catwoman]

I think I would get blank stares but I may just do that tonight and see what happens.

:lol:

 

Do you enjoy eating dinner all by yourself? ;)

[susankenny]

I think I would get blank stares but I may just do that tonight and see what happens.

 

lol. Do it tonight!! Then post back!  :)

 

In fact, here's what I would yell....

 

"Suppertime, y'all!! Come on in & get washed up!!!"

[susankenny]

Y'all are cracking me up. Being able to choose between making food and paying for food is most definitely tied to economics. Again, potlucks are a big part of American culture and are seen in all sorts of income levels but having the option of pricey prepared or catered foods is something that comes with money.

 

See, I disagree. Food is a language here. You share it to speak your care and condolences to those you love. So if someone has a new baby, a death, an illness, etc. You would prepare meals to show that you care. It has nothing to do with economics. Preparing meals isn't cheap! Pot lucks & covered dishes are the same way. It is a way to fellowship & honor god :D

[Library Momma]

My daughter is going to ask me if I've been watching episodes of the Pioneer Woman again!  This should be fun.