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Anniversary yesterday, depressed today warning: pity party


Mom in High Heels
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So yesterday was my and JB's 18th anniversary. It was our 11th anniversary apart. We got to Skype yesterday morning, but only for a short while. Still, it was better than nothing. I was mostly okay yesterday, just a little sad. I did try to drown my sorrow in wine and dark chocolate and felt much better.

Anyway, today I've been really down. Aside from our anniversary, my 40th birthday is next week and Han Solo's 2nd birthday is the week after that and he will miss those too. He also missed my birthday and HS's 1st birthday last year. I'm just tired of it all. I knew what I was getting into when he decided to join the army (we were married a year before he joined), but I feel like we've had too much asked of us. He can retire in 3 more years, but if he gets promoted (which we both want because he'll get paid more and get more in retirement), he'll have to stay in even longer. Gah. It's all just too much right now. I'm tired and lonely and I just want JB'S around for our special days.

 

Okay, enough self-pity. I hear dark chocolate calling my name.

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I understand, BTDT. I think towards the end of a career families start getting very, very tired of the sacrifices. My dh missed my son's crossover to Boy Scouts last night because he had to attend a "mandatory fun" work function. Really? That is bull. Sacrificing for the greater good, fine. It is the other stuff that I'm tired of. Bleh.

 

We are less than 2 years from retirement unless he makes the next rank, which would add 3 years.

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Actually, it can be. My husband leaves the house before any of us are up. When he gets home, it's dinner, clean the kitchen, bathe the kids,and put them to bed. By the time each of us showered and ready for bed, he has about seven hours to sleep before starting over again. Most of his days off are spent with kids or giving me a break. I can't imagine expecting 15 hours acting like newlyweds every week.

 

We both remember our childless days fondly and we look forward to our empty nest days. But right now, these moments are not just about us.

 

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

I know it doesn't mean much, but thank you. For him, and for the real true stuff you sacrifice, like this.

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((((HUGS))))) I'm sorry. My husband is in law enforcement and I knew what I was getting into, yet it's still hard. No, I know that doesn't compare to the long stretches that you are away from your husband. I can't even imagine. Thank you for the sacrifice you and your family make for the rest of us.

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:grouphug:

 

Hope you have some of the really good chocolate!

 

My father was army. My folks have their wedding anniversary and they also would celebrate a couple of months later so they'd hopefully be together at one point.

 

I think the deployments nowadays are beyond ridiculous. It is nice that you've got better contact though... I was talking with my son today about how when I was 5 my father was in Korea for a year. I think due to expense he and my mother only talked on the phone two or three times that whole year. There were a lot of letters and audio tapes sent though!

 

Thanks for your sacrifices. And it really sucks too.

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:grouphug:

 

Thank you ALL for your sacrifices, from the bottom of my heart.

 

 

 

 

My boyfriend isn't in the military, but his job has him on the road almost 300 days a year. It has been harder than I thought it would be, but it could be worse - at least we have a chance of seeing one another since he is in the states. Every time I think about wallowing, I think about all your military wives and it shuts me up.

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He can retire in 3 more years, but if he gets promoted (which we both want because he'll get paid more and get more in retirement), he'll have to stay in even longer.

I'm commiserating with you. My husband had that "P" status, we retired anyway. He made considerably more in his first year as a civilian than he did at year 19+ active duty. That retirement check isn't huge, but we bought a very modest house and it takes care of the mortgage + utilities. It was a big, scary leap, but we're 18 months retired and very happy. (I do hate paying for groceries at WalMart, I really, really miss the commissary.)
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:grouphug: I've said it before and I'll say it again. I have the utmost respect for military wives. You have a tough job and sacrifice so much. I don't have it in me to be that unselfish and self-sacrificing. Go have that chocolate. You deserve any little treat your heart desires to compensate for what you really want.

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