Jump to content

Menu

Lay off the poor


Ruby Rose
 Share

Recommended Posts

There seems to be a lot of judgement on the board about what the poor should and shouldn't do.

 

According to recent post:

Poor shouldn't

- have children

- drink soda

- eat junk food

- buy cake mix to bake their kid a birthday cake... Etc.

 

Sure some people abuse the system. Always have, always will. But, withhold judgement until you've walked a mile in their shoes.

 

What this world needs is a little more compassion and understanding and a lot less judgement.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 132
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

There seems to be a lot of judgement on the board about what the poor should and shouldn't do.

 

According to recent post:

Poor shouldn't

- have children

- drink soda

- eat junk food

- buy cake mix to bake their kid a birthday cake... Etc.

 

Sure some people abuse the system. Always have, always will. But, withhold judgement until you've walked a mile in their shoes.

 

What this world needs is a little more compassion and understanding and a lot less judgement.

 

:hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We all need to be grateful for what we have and generous in thought and deed to those who have less. But its also important to remember that just because someone does something differently than you do does not mean they are wrong . . no matter what it is, no matter who they are.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree that there's no good reason to dump on poor people. But I also don't get why it's not politically correct to state things you think would help people avoid poverty, or to state that you think some choices are, well, choices. There's a huge double standard on this matter. If you have money, you are held accountable for your poor choices and then some. If you don't have money, your mistakes are on everyone else.

 

We all make mistakes. We all deserve compassion AND we all deserve the dignity of accountability.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There seems to be a lot of judgement on the board about what the poor should and shouldn't do.

 

According to recent post:

Poor shouldn't

- have children

- drink soda

- eat junk food

- buy cake mix to bake their kid a birthday cake... Etc.

 

Sure some people abuse the system. Always have, always will. But, withhold judgement until you've walked a mile in their shoes.

 

What this world needs is a little more compassion and understanding and a lot less judgement.

 

AMEN! Thank you!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree that there's no good reason to dump on poor people. But I also don't get why it's not politically correct to state things you think would help people avoid poverty, or to state that you think some choices are, well, choices. There's a huge double standard on this matter. If you have money, you are held accountable for your poor choices and then some. If you don't have money, your mistakes are on everyone else.

 

We all make mistakes. We all deserve compassion AND we all deserve the dignity of accountability.

 

It's just unhelpful to decide that if people only "shopped smarter" they could avoid welfare. I remember one poster, specifically, who went on and on about how cheaply *she* could buy produce and how food wasn't taxed. Well, that doesn't apply to me (who doesn't get FS help, btw, so I'd consider myself somewhat unbiased). Produce is waaay more expensive than a pack of Chips Ahoy. Milk is horrendously expensive, Cokes less so and they often have sales/coupons that milk never does. We pay tax on our groceries, as well, so I'm not sure who doesn't. I need to move there LOL

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I think we should start kicking the illiterate - or high - among us and, to that end, will offer myself up. Because I SWEAR I thought item #1 from the OP was "have chicken" and it wasn't until I scrolled down to reply and ask for clarification that I saw my error.

 

Go ahead. Kick. Good grief.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the judgmentalism goes both ways, and either way is very unpleasant and can be quite hurtful.

 

I'm very annoyed by the threads that denigrate the less fortunate, but I'm also aggravated by the mentality that suggests that anyone who has any extra money is selfish, self-absorbed, and greedy because they buy "luxury" or name-brand items for themselves or their kids, and if every nickel that isn't going to support a basic, no-frills lifestyle isn't immediately be donated to the church, those awful rich people are on the fast track to H*ll. Oh, and the wealthier kids are all horrible, rude, and nasty because they have a sense of entitlement that the wonderful, sweet, and polite less-fortunate kids don't have... unless someone else is talking about the kids from the not-so-nice neighborhoods who will all grow up to be criminals. :rolleyes:

 

The prejudices go both ways, and both are just WRONG. :glare:

 

People are nice, or they're not.

They are honest, or they're not.

They're generous, or they're not.

They're hard-working and dedicated, or they're not.

 

Their financial status does not define any of those things, and I find it quite disturbing when people seem to believe that it does.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It seems like the lie that if a person worked hard enough and long enough they would achieve the American dream is alive and well.

 

People absolutely believe this! It is perpetrated everywhere! It's so discouraging! It would take my husband and I going back to school and getting an entirely different education and working our butts off, never seeing our kids, to make more than we make now. And we are lucky he makes as much as he does, most contract positions in his field pay even less. Going to college just isn't possible for everyone, a degree change just isn't possible for everyone. There are so many factors, and yet our entire culture is geared with this mindset that education fixes everything, that good money is just a hard day's work away. It is so discouraging.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

in fact, in conservative Christian circles I used to hang around in, there were a few very hoity-toity anti-government type among them. One flat out said she had zero compassion for the poor. When I brought up a mother who had been widowed with many small children, or who had a husband who made poor choices and ended up in jail and suddenly she had to provide for everyone (because we both knew people in that situation) she said they should have avoided situations that got them into that to begin with, that she would never have made those choices. It just boggles my mind how people can have so much blatant, unapologetic pride in this way. And what is discouraging is it seems that they get away with it and continue on in ignorance.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Produce is waaay more expensive than a pack of Chips Ahoy. Milk is horrendously expensive, Cokes less so and they often have sales/coupons that milk never does.

 

 

A pack of cigarettes is also cheaper than a furnace, so I guess that explains people who will buy cartons of smokes rather than pay the gas bill.

 

I am not sure how mainstream America has become convinced that Coke is food. There is no logical comparison. If you really can't afford milk, the logical alternative is water (assuming you need to drink anything with food, which in fact you don't.) But I suppose that makes me a ruthless hag.

 

I think part of the reason why some people can't seem to "lay off the poor" is that there are people on the other hand constantly trying to rationalize stuff like this. Like people really have no choice but to buy Coke. Oh, and the way it usually comes along with some blame for the "haves" who somehow put these people in this position.

 

Why not just say "some poor people choose Coke because they want to," just like some not-poor people do the same thing? Because that would prevent certain poor populations from being able to claim victim status?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am calling this a political thread. I wish we could let it just go away.

 

What politics?! There are impoverished liberals and impoverished conservatives. There are liberals and conservatives that refuse assistance and both that are on it. There are both varieties that like to bash such people and both varieties that are supportive of such people. It's an issue, but one that is not political (or has been discussed without bringing politics into it).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

I think part of the reason why some people can't seem to "lay off the poor" is that there are people on the other hand constantly trying to rationalize stuff like this. Like people really have no choice but to buy Coke.

 

Not really. Some people can't seem to "lay off the poor" because they believe paying taxes gives them an automatic right to judge others' choices.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the judgmentalism goes both ways, and either way is very unpleasant and can be quite hurtful.

 

I'm very annoyed by the threads that denigrate the less fortunate, but I'm also aggravated by the mentality that suggests that anyone who has any extra money is selfish, self-absorbed, and greedy because they buy "luxury" or name-brand items for themselves or their kids, and if every nickel that isn't going to support a basic, no-frills lifestyle isn't immediately be donated to the church, those awful rich people are on the fast track to H*ll. Oh, and the wealthier kids are all horrible, rude, and nasty because they have a sense of entitlement that the wonderful, sweet, and polite less-fortunate kids don't have... unless someone else is talking about the kids from the not-so-nice neighborhoods who will all grow up to be criminals. :rolleyes:

 

The prejudices go both ways, and both are just WRONG. :glare:

 

People are nice, or they're not.

They are honest, or they're not.

They're generous, or they're not.

They're hard-working and dedicated, or they're not.

 

Their financial status does not define any of those things, and I find it quite disturbing when people seem to believe that it does.

 

 

THANK YOU. I started about a half dozen posts trying to say something similar, but figured that however I worded it, it would come across wrong. I do get tired of feeling that I am not noble, I don't love my kids, I'm not warm and fuzzy, I don't care about people, etc., because we are not financially strapped.

 

I'm sorry for people who are struggling financially; deeply, heart-feelingly sorry. I pray for them, think about them, and feel blessed, but I do not feel less loving, less giving, or less connected. I'm just like everybody else, except, thankfully, I don't have the stress and worry of financial matters. I'm lucky, not better.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

The point is that there is no attempt to treat people who are poor with dignity. Yes, they are poor. Yes, it may or may not be due to their own decisions. Yes, some may continue making choices you or I would disapprove of. But, a poor man has already lost some of his dignity in the eyes of the world for being poor, he then looses some more by asking and accepting help, why don't we just beat him into the ground by harping and judging on the choices he makes and then making insinuations about what sort of person he may or may not be like because he buys a coke with food stamps.

 

I'm not saying that if you're poor you're still entitled to buy Coke or a wedding cake or whatever. But it's not rationalizing or sentimentality to simply say "your attitude isn't helping anything." That poor man is still made in the image of God and should be treated with dignity. There's no reason to beat him over the head with a stick and go on and on about how if only he worked harder, if only he didn't buy cokes, if only she didn't have so many kids, blah blah blah.... Just lay off, will ya?

 

And if you really care all that much to notice what a person using food stamps buys, maybe you can start some sort of nutrition education campaign and a money management program that will help those who are ignorant make wiser choices. Complaining about it on the internet is pretty useless either way and what's more, it's petty.

 

I completely disagree. I'm not the person who keeps bringing this stuff up about putting poor people into a box. I was born poor FYI. So were most people in this world, by the US standard of "poor." So what? Who said it had anything to do with whether they deserve respect? Not me.

 

You know who doesn't treat the poor with dignity? People who insist that they are miserable, helpless victims. Maybe they are happy with their choices. Maybe they have a lot of hope and dreams that you can't see or that you think are impossible or ignorant. Maybe they have a healthy spiritual/philosophical view of the importance of temporary tangible things. Maybe they, like my parents, are smart and responsible and capable of making well-reasoned decisions regardless of how much cash they have in their pockets.

 

I don't know or care who is paying at the store with food stamps. However, when a topic like this comes up, it always comes down to poor people's bad choices not being their responsibility, and that is terribly disrespectful to poor people as a group. It is also completely unhelpful IMO.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the judgmentalism goes both ways, and either way is very unpleasant and can be quite hurtful.

 

I'm very annoyed by the threads that denigrate the less fortunate, but I'm also aggravated by the mentality that suggests that anyone who has any extra money is selfish, self-absorbed, and greedy because they buy "luxury" or name-brand items for themselves or their kids, and if every nickel that isn't going to support a basic, no-frills lifestyle isn't immediately be donated to the church, those awful rich people are on the fast track to H*ll. Oh, and the wealthier kids are all horrible, rude, and nasty because they have a sense of entitlement that the wonderful, sweet, and polite less-fortunate kids don't have... unless someone else is talking about the kids from the not-so-nice neighborhoods who will all grow up to be criminals. :rolleyes:

 

The prejudices go both ways, and both are just WRONG. :glare:

 

People are nice, or they're not.

They are honest, or they're not.

They're generous, or they're not.

They're hard-working and dedicated, or they're not.

 

Their financial status does not define any of those things, and I find it quite disturbing when people seem to believe that it does.

 

Hear, hear!!! :iagree:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's no different if you have money....just b/c you have it doesn't mean you have to own a home, put your kids in music lessons, do every co-op out there, and be charity to every friend who's in dire need. People should be able to do what they want without criticism from others about what their income level 'should' be doing or not doing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

And yes, being catty on the internet about someone in the checkout line ahead of you and their buying choices is buying is rude. If I came on here complaining about someone in the checkout line ahead of me buying cokes but not on food stamps, then it would be rude too. It's none of my business. Griping about how someone who is not related to you and for whom you have no responsibility is choosing to have babies esp. within marriage is rude. If I came on here complaining how awful my friends are because they are DINKS and will be for many years it would be rude, cause it ain't none of my business. I don't see why it makes it someone else's business just because lack of money is involved.

 

So yes, all these issues do have something to do with respect.

 

 

 

 

There are many of us who hold major resentments about the amount of taxes we pay and there is likely to be a significant increase next year. Taxes aren't an option. If you work and make a certain amount of money you pay taxes. If you work and don't pay taxes you are likely to end up in jail. This is a problem caused by the government who is elected by the people of this country. It doesn't really matter whether it is democrat or republican because the results have pretty much been the same in this area.

 

I don't have a problem with the poor in this country. I have a problem with a hugh percentage of our income going to the government. I am 100% confident that I could make better decisions with my money than the government ever could.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

I'm not saying that if you're poor you're still entitled to buy Coke or a wedding cake or whatever. But it's not rationalizing or sentimentality to simply say "your attitude isn't helping anything." That poor man is still made in the image of God and should be treated with dignity. There's no reason to beat him over the head with a stick and go on and on about how if only he worked harder, if only he didn't buy cokes, if only she didn't have so many kids, blah blah blah.... Just lay off, will ya?

 

 

 

 

Bravo. Thank you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Resentment of government or taxes or because you know someone who happens to be poor and lazy, rationalizing the situations to blame "the system" (it's not that the poor's lack of money/aid that's their problem... it's the landlords/regulations/etc. -- that's really the problem), or of feeling bad because someone might judge you as a lesser parent for not being poor :confused1:, are not valid reasons to dump on those who are struggling. Here, on these boards. Where there are many struggling families. Especially in a season that is often already extra stressful for those on or over the edge.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Resentment of government or taxes or because you know someone who happens to be poor and lazy, rationalizing the situations to blame "the system" (it's not that the poor's lack of money/aid that's their problem... it's the landlords/regulations/etc. -- that's really the problem), or of feeling bad because someone might judge you as a lesser parent for not being poor :confused1:, are not valid reasons to dump on those who are struggling. Here, on these boards. Where there are many struggling families, especially in a season that is often already extra stressful for those on or over the edge.

 

But you see, I don't mind helping someone out that need it and I do so. I would much rather make those decisions though. We are all part of the system that has created the problems and you can't blame all the poor's problems on landlords and regulations. Just an example that is really close to home for me, my brother has made lots of really bad decisions that have cost him more money than I could even think about and we could see the problems coming before the decisions were made. I love my brother and try to help him out, but I won't give him money to bail him out. It is useless to do so.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

But you see, I don't mind helping someone out that need it and I do so. I would much rather make those decisions though. We are all part of the system that has created the problems and you can't blame all the poor's problems on landlords and regulations. Just an example that is really close to home for me, my brother has made lots of really bad decisions that have cost him more money than I could even think about and we could see the problems coming before the decisions were made. I love my brother and try to help him out, but I won't give him money to bail him out. It is useless to do so.

 

You and (since I'm posting) I are helping to keep this thread going, no matter y(our) sense of personal justification.

 

I'm leaving. Wanna join me?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I honestly think some people are over-generalizing when they talk about so many people dumping on "the poor." When someone comments that doing xyz is a mistake that causes financial problems, that's just a fact. It does not mean I think people who commit that mistake are scum. It also certainly does not mean that I think everyone who has financial problems has them because of mistake xyz.

 

Now the question of whether I have a right to an opinion on what "poor people" do is a huge leap through all of the following:

  • That the poor person in fact made a choice causing financial woes.
  • That said person continues to make said choice vs. learning from the mistake.
  • That said person meanwhile looks to someone else to pay for the cost of the mistake.
  • That said "someone else" is not a willing enabler of said poor person.

If you happen to be a "poor person" of whom any of the above 4 conditions are not true, then you're being too sensitive to these discussions, because I have NEVER seen anyone on this forum make the kind of blanket judgment that is being complained of here. The only attitude I see is that people ought to expect to be accountable for their choices. If you expect to be accountable for your choices, then what is the problem? (If you don't, then yeah, that's a problem, whether you are rich or poor or otherwise.)

 

Another comment. It concerns me to see so many people, who are parents, scoff at the "American dream." What in the world do you teach your children, if you don't believe their hard work and education will open good opportunities for them?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There are many of us who hold major resentments about the amount of taxes we pay and there is likely to be a significant increase next year. Taxes aren't an option. If you work and make a certain amount of money you pay taxes. If you work and don't pay taxes you are likely to end up in jail. This is a problem caused by the government who is elected by the people of this country. It doesn't really matter whether it is democrat or republican because the results have pretty much been the same in this area.

 

I don't have a problem with the poor in this country. I have a problem with a hugh percentage of our income going to the government. I am 100% confident that I could make better decisions with my money than the government ever could.

 

If that is how you feel, I would expect your ire to be directed towards corporate subsidies and the military industrial complex, both of which have a greater impact on government spending than food stamps and welfare.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Another comment. It concerns me to see so many people, who are parents, scoff at the "American dream." What in the world do you teach your children, if you don't believe their hard work and education will open good opportunities for them?

 

I'm hopeful that my children will have financial success in their lives. Although financially is not the only way to define success. However my point was that there are many educated and very hard working people in this country who are considered "poor" or just making it. All poor people are not that way by choice.

 

Perhaps we are all talking about 2 different kinds of poor. The poor that work grossly underpaid jobs and accept assistance to help lessen the burden of feeding their family. And the poor who sit around expecting the government to pay their way with no intention of working.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the judgmentalism goes both ways, and either way is very unpleasant and can be quite hurtful.

 

I'm very annoyed by the threads that denigrate the less fortunate, but I'm also aggravated by the mentality that suggests that anyone who has any extra money is selfish, self-absorbed, and greedy because they buy "luxury" or name-brand items for themselves or their kids, and if every nickel that isn't going to support a basic, no-frills lifestyle isn't immediately be donated to the church, those awful rich people are on the fast track to H*ll. Oh, and the wealthier kids are all horrible, rude, and nasty because they have a sense of entitlement that the wonderful, sweet, and polite less-fortunate kids don't have... unless someone else is talking about the kids from the not-so-nice neighborhoods who will all grow up to be criminals. :rolleyes:

 

The prejudices go both ways, and both are just WRONG. :glare:

 

People are nice, or they're not.

They are honest, or they're not.

They're generous, or they're not.

They're hard-working and dedicated, or they're not.

 

Their financial status does not define any of those things, and I find it quite disturbing when people seem to believe that it does.

:iagree:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

If that is how you feel, I would expect your ire to be directed towards corporate subsidies and the military industrial complex, both of which have a greater impact on government spending than food stamps and welfare.

I, for one, am not happy with those situations either.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the judgmentalism goes both ways, and either way is very unpleasant and can be quite hurtful.

 

I'm very annoyed by the threads that denigrate the less fortunate, but I'm also aggravated by the mentality that suggests that anyone who has any extra money is selfish, self-absorbed, and greedy because they buy "luxury" or name-brand items for themselves or their kids, and if every nickel that isn't going to support a basic, no-frills lifestyle isn't immediately be donated to the church, those awful rich people are on the fast track to H*ll. Oh, and the wealthier kids are all horrible, rude, and nasty because they have a sense of entitlement that the wonderful, sweet, and polite less-fortunate kids don't have... unless someone else is talking about the kids from the not-so-nice neighborhoods who will all grow up to be criminals. :rolleyes:

 

The prejudices go both ways, and both are just WRONG. :glare:

 

People are nice, or they're not.

They are honest, or they're not.

They're generous, or they're not.

They're hard-working and dedicated, or they're not.

 

Their financial status does not define any of those things, and I find it quite disturbing when people seem to believe that it does.

Thank you. Being well off isn't a sin any more than being poor is.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

If that is how you feel, I would expect your ire to be directed towards corporate subsidies and the military industrial complex, both of which have a greater impact on government spending than food stamps and welfare.

 

I see this comment a lot, but based on the pie graph someone linked to the other day, I have to call you on the corporate welfare part. Do you have any backup for this allegation, because it seems to me the taxpayer spend on "corporate welfare" is a tiny fraction of the spending on social subsidies (not including social security and medicare). Besides which, said "corporate welfare" is usually motivated by the intention of saving or growing jobs, etc. for those who would otherwise be low-income.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Perhaps we are all talking about 2 different kinds of poor. The poor that work grossly underpaid jobs and accept assistance to help lessen the burden of feeding their family. And the poor who sit around expecting the government to pay their way with no intention of working.

 

I feel like that is a large part of the problem - more often than not both types are lumped together.....and really when you're watching someone in the grocery line, how do you know which type they are, really?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm hopeful that my children will have financial success in their lives. Although financially is not the only way to define success. However my point was that there are many educated and very hard working people in this country who are considered "poor" or just making it. All poor people are not that way by choice.

 

Perhaps we are all talking about 2 different kinds of poor. The poor that work grossly underpaid jobs and accept assistance to help lessen the burden of feeding their family. And the poor who sit around expecting the government to pay their way with no intention of working.

 

I commented in the original thread about a couple that I work with that are in their late 20's and have had 3 unexpected pregnancies in the last 3 years between them. I don't mind the fs/health care etc. to help get through a rough spot! I do DEFINITELY mind the smart phones, fake tans, manicures, clothes and the going to an island off of Florida to get married-and, no, it's not because there was family there but because that's where she always wanted to get married. :cursing: Don't expect me to support your life style-which is MUCH nicer that mine-get off your butts and change jobs/pick up partitme work to support the lifestyle you've chosen to have!!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share


×
×
  • Create New...