KidsHappen Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 We have been invited over to a neighbor's house for a Thanksgiving dinner this weekend. The invite says we don't need to bring anything but when we are guest we usually bring a bottle of wine or something like that. The problem is, I don't think that anyone who will be there drinks. What would be a good alternative? Flowers maybe? That's the only thin that I can think of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 What about a nice hot cocoa mix? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 (edited) As a frequent hostess myself, I must honestly say that I do NOT enjoy it when guests bring flowers to a dinner party: it causes me to drop everything I am doing in terms of last minute preparations and find a vase, cut the stems, put the flowers in the vase and find a spot to put them. I usually bring some small seasonal baked goods around the holidays (home made or store bought), or special sweets. If these were people who don't eat sweet things, I might take home made bread (they can freeze it if they don't need it right away) or some interesting salsa/dip/jam from a Farmers Market or gourmet store. Since I do not know anybody who needs more "stuff", I try not to give gifts that need a space or have to be dusted ;-) Edited November 9, 2012 by regentrude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Sparkling apple cider? The bottles look similar to wine bottles, so it has the same general feel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitestavern Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Maybe a nice box of chocolates? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyco Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Flowers are nice, or a nice scented candle if you think they like them, or a box of fancy candy, anything "local" or "gourmet" with a pretty bow around it. Or a jar of homemade spiced nuts or similar? The hot cocoa mix sounds good too. I would put it in a small basket with a fall themed dish towel. But I tend to go overboard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah CB Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 We have been invited over to a neighbor's house for a Thanksgiving dinner this weekend. The invite says we don't need to bring anything but when we are guest we usually bring a bottle of wine or something like that. The problem is, I don't think that anyone who will be there drinks. What would be a good alternative? Flowers maybe? That's the only thin that I can think of. I love getting flowers so I think flowers would be great. However, during the Christmas season I usually do something special, especially if we're not the only people being invited. We have a walnut tree, so I'll bring a bag of candied or chocolate coated walnuts. I also make pretty good rum balls, so I'll bring a tin of those for the host. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in OR Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Sparkling apple cider? The bottles look similar to wine bottles, so it has the same general feel. I vote these too. They make kinds with different varieties of fruit juices in them, like apple cranberry, apple peach, apple pear, etc. The kids really like to drink it because it feels fancy with all the bubbles. Erica in OR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 I usually take a box of chocolates or some baked goodies. Never a dessert though, as I've seen people insulted. It looks like you think they can't handle making a good dessert. Never flowers unless they are already arranged and in a decorative vase or some such thing. Also, flowers can be a problem with allergies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Sparkling cider -- a few bottles if there are kids around, lol -- is fun for everyone. A box of chocolates or flowers are always good hostess gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 I usually take a box of chocolates or some baked goodies. Never a dessert though, as I've seen people insulted. It looks like you think they can't handle making a good dessert. Never flowers unless they are already arranged and in a decorative vase or some such thing. Also, flowers can be a problem with allergies. I think the thing about bringing a dessert is it would imply a need to be served THEN, which might mess up the hostess's plans (and presumably she has made a dessert already). So, giving something to be enjoyed LATER by the host(ess) is the idea of a hostess gift. The only exception being wine/beverages which most non-super-formal hosts would typically serve then (unless it is a super special gift wine, in which case let them know it is for them to savor later so they don't blow it on you, lol). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsH Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 You've gotten great ideas so far. I'd add maybe the idea of a plant. Whole Foods sells these rosemary bushes in the shape of a small xmas tree, super cute! Or just any other houseplant. If you do bring something to eat or drink, I'd give it and say "this is for you to enjoy later." That way they don't feel obligated to put it out with their carefully planned and prepared meal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Maybe I'm an oddball, but I don't like flowers. Not that I'd spit on anyone who bought me flowers and I would know they meant well, but it's like "here is a handful of dead things, enjoy". :lol: Anyhow, what about a homemade dessert or a small fruit basket? I get mad when dh buys me flowers. He doesn't do it anymore. I told him I'd rather he buy me something that doesn't die. Once he brought me home a new garbage disposal from Costco :lol: Well the old one was loud and I complained about it a lot. I don't think that is a proper hostess gift though. I am odd and don't like chocolate, but a small box of nice chocolates is a good gift, or a couple of holiday kitchen towels? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Another vote for sparkling cider! Just bring several bottles because one is only enough for two people- at our house, at least! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lailasmum Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 How about a houseplant like an orchid-pretty, doesn't smell and in a pot. Or something like an upmarket coffee and some after dinner mints/after eights. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Flowers. Don't take food or drink, because the hostess has already figured it all out, and she'll either try to fit yours in so you won't feel bad, or she'll set it aside for another time and forget about it, and then *you'll* feel bad. :-) Just take flowers. :-) Although actually, you don't *have* to take anything. Really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Don't buy a plant unless you know they are good with plants. Total black thumb that I am would kill it immediately. I do enjoy a bouquet of dead things. Some chocolates on a dessert plate for the hostess to keep is always nice. I also like the sparkling cider idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elinor Everywhere Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Flowers. Don't take food or drink, because the hostess has already figured it all out and she'll either try to fit yours in so you won't feel bad, or she'll set it aside for another time and forget about it, and then *you'll* feel bad. :-) Just take flowers. :-) Although actually, you don't *have* to take anything. Really. I agree. My dh picks out wine that perfectly complements each course he has made, so a bottle, while appreciated, would be saved for another time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRG Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 What about a nice thank you note in the mail? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medawyn Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 I often bring something that the hostess can serve/have for breakfast the next morning. Muffins or a sweet bread and juice are my go to if I don't know the family very well; a breakfast casserole is also nice if I know there are no dietary restrictions. As a hostess myself, it can be nice to wake up to something already done, since there are still usually last night's dishes to finish up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 What about a nice thank you note in the mail? Miss Manners would be totally beside herself with joy at the thought of someone's sending a nice thank-you card. :-) Ideally, if at all possible, there should also be a dinner invitation. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Ok, I'll be the oddball...if the host/hostess specifically says don't bring anything, well then I'd bring...nothing. (And definitely not something like dessert that would cause me to wonder, after much planning and preparing, if I am now supposed to change my plans and serve up the dessert they brought. Yes, there is such a thing as too many desserts!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 My go-to is a potted plant. This time of year I'd probably go for some rosemary - it's hard to kill, and smells good until its bitter end :D. Orchids are lovely, too, but so fickle. I'd only spring for those for someone I know could keep it going (or may have someone to re-gift it to at church, hospital, or another seasonal gathering). My MIL would be gracious but slighted if someone brought food (desert/wine). I think she's oversensitive, but her personality and culture are such that it's something of an insult. Preparing food is how she shows love, she doesn't want you to butt in on her lovefest. Or to otherwise compete ;) :D LOL. So now that I know people like her exist, I avoid foods and wines. Never thought of the morning-after muffins, though, I like that idea! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 You've gotten great ideas so far. I'd add maybe the idea of a plant. Whole Foods sells these rosemary bushes in the shape of a small xmas tree, super cute! Or just any other houseplant. Oh , please don't unless you know for sure the person wants a plant. Plant needs a space. Plant needs to be watered and cared for. Plant forces people to make extra care arrangements when they travel. For many people, the last thing they need is another living thing they need to take care of. I feel guilty every time I let a hostess-gift plant die... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 I give chocolates--Belgian if I can manage it. If not chocolate a box of fancy Belgian butter cookies or almond thins. You find them in the fancy cookie section at Walmart these days. I tie a big raffia bow around the box and tell the hostess to enjoy them later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Oh , please don't unless you know for sure the person wants a plant.Plant needs a space. Plant needs to be watered and cared for. Plant forces people to make extra care arrangements when they travel. For many people, the last thing they need is another living thing they need to take care of. I feel guilty every time I let a hostess-gift plant die... Really? :tongue_smilie: Re-gift the plant to someone else! Leave it for a neighbor or colleague! I can think of so many ways to dump an unwanted-but-appreciate-the-thought-of-it plant! It's so easy to pass it forward! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKidAcademy Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 If you decide on flowers, be sure they are in a vase, ready to be displayed with no work on the part of the recipient. Enjoy the dinner! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Oh , please don't unless you know for sure the person wants a plant.Plant needs a space. Plant needs to be watered and cared for. Plant forces people to make extra care arrangements when they travel. For many people, the last thing they need is another living thing they need to take care of. I feel guilty every time I let a hostess-gift plant die... My neighbor bought me an orchid for mowing their lawn so much. I am pretty sure it died after about a week. I didn't know you could kill an orchid that fast. I should have a house full of plants by now from all the gifts I"ve got, but a potted plant in this house, well you might as well buy me cut flowers. It's about the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El... Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 I saw an idea in a magazine: bring breakfast pastry for them to enjoy the next morning! I want somebody to bring me cinnamon rolls. :001_smile: You could make scones (they are easy, if you like to cook) and freeze them on parchment paper before baking, bag or box them, and then give instructions to bake them frozen. They turn out great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebacabunch Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 Cute kitchen towels, fancy kitchen soap, or gift cert for pizza would be very appreciated by me. Or chocolate or flowers or or or. Don't bring a dessert or other dish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 A box of nice chocolates or candies Rosemary- like that idea! Nice hand soap and hand towel or lotion Fresh apple cider (if you live near orchards) Local gift- veggies, jam, honey Small giftcard to blockbuster with popcorn and candy Small giftcard to starbucks or dunkin donuts Nice candle Picture frame Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walking-Iris Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 Please don't take them flowers or a plant!!! :lol: If you're positive they won't drink the wine (I like to take wine when I go to someone's house for dinner!) thne take a simple dessert. You know what I would like in that situation? The biggest, fattest, softest buttery holiday sugar cookies!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyDay Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 sparkling juice or cider...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in LV Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 I've been hosting a decent sized Thanksgiving dinner for a number of years. I always tell everyone they don't need to bring anything. My immediate family likes to chip in for the desserts or turkey. But everyone else inevitably brings "something". In my experience, flowers (which I normally love to have), even arranged, are kind of a pain, because you already have the place "decorated" for the occasion, and now you have to find a spot to display the lovely flowers that just arrived. We're not big drinkers, so wine tends to go to waste, and I don't even think we'd partake too much in a sparkling cider, but everyone's different. And I usually provide plenty of desserts, although I don't object to putting out another one. My favorite "hostess" gifts are some kinds of treats to enjoy at a later time (I love the suggestions about some breakfast treats) or something I can use. I've been given nice hand towels, which I can always use because mine tend to get used looking over time - Williams Sonoma has the BEST hand towels. I've also been given fun new cooking utensils from Williams Sonoma, which I really enjoy because I would never buy them for myself. And a lovely thank you note after the dinner is always greatly appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 I often bring something that the hostess can serve/have for breakfast the next morning. Muffins or a sweet bread and juice are my go to if I don't know the family very well; a breakfast casserole is also nice if I know there are no dietary restrictions. As a hostess myself, it can be nice to wake up to something already done, since there are still usually last night's dishes to finish up! :iagree: That's what I usually bring. I usually make homemade cinnamon rolls and bring some nice juice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 Ok, I'll be the oddball...if the host/hostess specifically says don't bring anything, well then I'd bring...nothing. (And definitely not something like dessert that would cause me to wonder, after much planning and preparing, if I am now supposed to change my plans and serve up the dessert they brought. Yes, there is such a thing as too many desserts!) :iagree: When people come to my house as guests, I don't expect them to do anything or bring anything, because they are, you know, *guests.* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walking-Iris Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 :iagree: When people come to my house as guests, I don't expect them to do anything or bring anything, because they are, you know, *guests.* This too. I don't expect guests to bring things to my house. And even if someone says don't bring anything, I usually bring a real simple thing anyway. A bottle of wine (all my friends will drink the wine anyway!!!) is a nice way to say thanks. I'm surprised how many people say bring a real gift---as in towels or utensils or gift cards. ??? I may be cheap or whatever, but I honestly don't think an invite to dinner means I have to go out and spend money on the hostess for a real gift. For starters that may be overreaching in some instances (I would feel a bit awkward if someone bought me towels just because they're having dinner at my house) and may even make other guests feel a little inadequate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 (edited) Flowers already in a vase or arrangement, so the hostess doesn't need to do anything with them. Box of chocolates Beautiful Thank You card ETA: I don't mind when people bring flowers. I can always put them in the living room, or even the kitchen if I already have the table set. But maybe chocolates would be a good idea. I wouldn't want anything that had to be stored in the fridge, because it's usually jammed packed anyway on Thanksgiving. Edited November 10, 2012 by thescrappyhomeschooler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 We make pumpkin butter and apple butter to take as hostess gifts during the holidays. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 Don't take food or drink, because the hostess has already figured it all out, and she'll either try to fit yours in so you won't feel bad, or she'll set it aside for another time and forget about it, and then *you'll* feel bad. :-) I disagree with this. Chocolates, homemade goodies, local products, bottles of wine are all common in my circles. They come in a gift bag or with a tag labeled "for the X family." It is never expected to be served at the time, in my experience. They are intended as a gift for the host/hostess to enjoy later. During the holidays we often take a poinsettia, they are easy maintenance, people can re-gift them if they are truly anti-plant, lol. Local products are usually good-soaps, jams or jellies, things like that. Homemade goodies are good. Sometimes during the holidays we have given a Christmas ornament. We always send a thank you card after the fact, but almost never attend a dinner invite empty handed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAMom Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 Well since everything is so controversial, maybe go with cash. :lol: Seriously! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 Well since everything is so controversial, maybe go with cash. :lol: :lol: Gee I don't think I've ever been anything but thrilled when someone brings me something. ANYTHING. You could bring me a bag of prunes and I would say thank you. It just seems like someone is thinking of me, KWIM? And yeah I do like dried fruit LOL. I never really thought of inconveniencing someone buy bringing something. I'm going to write my own miss manners book. It is going to say: "When someone gives you something, say thank you. " And that is all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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