Quad Shot Academy Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 My son tried to do his first "act of kindness" today and it went horribly wrong! (He has done many kind things in his life but hopefully you understand what I mean.) Was it just his terrible luck or have other people had this happen? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Can you tell us the story? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paintedlady Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 It's happened to me twice, both times with single moms. One I babysat for and gave fabric to and helped her make curtains. I also gave her some of my kitchen supplies and when she went back home to her husband she took them with her instead of giving them back to me. She didn't even tell me she was going back. I think she was embarassed to tell me, but it still hurt my feelings. The other one I gave free tutoring to her kids and bought them all Christmas gifts. She told me she never wanted to speak to me again because I insisted she not let the kids blow me off--they/she needed to tell me that they weren't showing up for our appointments. It seems that no good deed goes unpunished. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quad Shot Academy Posted November 2, 2012 Author Share Posted November 2, 2012 Can you tell us the story? I hesitate to post it because I don't want people tearing apart my kid, so please be kind: There was an elderly lady that could not buy all her groceries; she had to put several things back. She mentioned that she did not have enough money to the checker at least 5 times. (She was only buying things like toilet paper and food.) I did not want to embarrass her in front of all the others in line, my 5 kids and the checker, so as we were leaving I sent my oldest over to give her some money. She asked him why and he said that he felt that she needed it. She asked if he went to church and he said, "Yes." She asked him how much it was and he said that he didn't know. She kept guessing what church it was, never letting him speak, and then screamed at him that she did not want his money and that she was voting for Obama. :lol: She was yelling at me from quite a distance that she was voting for Obama, over and over as she walked away. (No, my son never said anything about Romney, Obama, politics or tried to proselytize her. :tongue_smilie:) She was in such a snit that she forgot her sweater and my son had to chase her down to give it to her. She barked, "Thank you, I would have never been able to afford to replace this." He held out the money once again and said, "Well, do you want this to help?" She yelled some more about Obama and stormed off. A simple, "No thank you," would have sufficed. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quad Shot Academy Posted November 2, 2012 Author Share Posted November 2, 2012 . It seems that no good deed goes unpunished. :glare: Sadly, that seems like a true statement! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Well, from the story it sounds like your son just ran into a nut. Or... she was embarassed to admit that she needed help. Either way, I sure hope this doesn't discourage him from helping in the future. Some people just have a lot of pride and don't like to swallow it. I don't think he did anything wrong. Poor guy. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 I hesitate to post it because I don't want people tearing apart my kid, so please be kind: There was an elderly lady that could not buy all her groceries; she had to put several things back. She mentioned that she did not have enough money to the checker at least 5 times. (She was only buying things like toilet paper and food.) I did not want to embarrass her in front of all the others in line, my 5 kids and the checker, so as we were leaving I sent my oldest over to give her some money. She asked him why and he said that he felt that she needed it. She asked if he went to church and he said, "Yes." She asked him how much it was and he said that he didn't know. She kept guessing what church it was, never letting him speak, and then screamed at him that she did not want his money and that she was voting for Obama. :lol: She was yelling at me from quite a distance that she was voting for Obama, over and over as she walked away. (No, my son never said anything about Romney, Obama, politics or tried to proselytize her. :tongue_smilie:) She was in such a snit that she forgot her sweater and my son had to chase her down to give it to her. She barked, "Thank you, I would have never been able to afford to replace this." He held out the money once again and said, "Well, do you want this to help?" She yelled some more about Obama and stormed off. A simple, "No thank you," would have sufficed. :D Oh my gosh, your poor DS. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 She was very rude. He handled it as graciously as anyone could have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 I hesitate to post it because I don't want people tearing apart my kid, so please be kind: There was an elderly lady that could not buy all her groceries; she had to put several things back. She mentioned that she did not have enough money to the checker at least 5 times. (She was only buying things like toilet paper and food.) I did not want to embarrass her in front of all the others in line, my 5 kids and the checker, so as we were leaving I sent my oldest over to give her some money. She asked him why and he said that he felt that she needed it. She asked if he went to church and he said, "Yes." She asked him how much it was and he said that he didn't know. She kept guessing what church it was, never letting him speak, and then screamed at him that she did not want his money and that she was voting for Obama. :lol: She was yelling at me from quite a distance that she was voting for Obama, over and over as she walked away. (No, my son never said anything about Romney, Obama, politics or tried to proselytize her. :tongue_smilie:) She was in such a snit that she forgot her sweater and my son had to chase her down to give it to her. She barked, "Thank you, I would have never been able to afford to replace this." He held out the money once again and said, "Well, do you want this to help?" She yelled some more about Obama and stormed off. A simple, "No thank you," would have sufficed. :D :grouphug: Sounds like she possibly had a mental illness. FYI- quite a bit of the time when people announce several times that they don't have the money for that to the cashier it is a SCAM. They normally are buying basic needs and keep mentioning this so that the cashier feels sorry for them and gives them the stuff. The reason she wouldn't take the money from your son is they want to be able to con more money from the giving person. Since it wasn't you, he wasn't good enough in the con artist eyes. The things you learn from retired police officer neighbor during hurricanes. I learned all about scams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cricket Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 I hope that doesn't scare your ds from trying to be nice again! Good grief! I think if some boy tried to hand me money in that situation, I'd cry. In a good way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama25angels Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 I hope that doesn't scare your ds from trying to be nice again! Good grief! I think if some boy tried to hand me money in that situation, I'd cry. In a good way. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quad Shot Academy Posted November 2, 2012 Author Share Posted November 2, 2012 I forgot to mention that as she was walking away he said to me, "I guess she thought I was trying to buy her vote." :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 I forgot to mention that as she was walking away he said to me, "I guess she thought I was trying to buy her vote." :lol: Your son is awesome.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Your son is awesome.:lol: No kidding!!! What a sweet kid, I hope it doesn't put him off helping others! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 There was an elderly lady that could not buy all her groceries; she had to put several things back. She mentioned that she did not have enough money to the checker at least 5 times. (She was only buying things like toilet paper and food.) I did not want to embarrass her in front of all the others in line, my 5 kids and the checker, so as we were leaving I sent my oldest over to give her some money. She asked him why and he said that he felt that she needed it. She asked if he went to church and he said, "Yes." She asked him how much it was and he said that he didn't know. She kept guessing what church it was, never letting him speak, and then screamed at him that she did not want his money and that she was voting for Obama. :lol: She was yelling at me from quite a distance that she was voting for Obama, over and over as she walked away. She was in such a snit that she forgot her sweater and my son had to chase her down to give it to her. She barked, "Thank you, I would have never been able to afford to replace this." He held out the money once again and said, "Well, do you want this to help?" She yelled some more about Obama and stormed off. A simple, "No thank you," would have sufficed. :D Sounds like she possibly had a mental illness. FYI- quite a bit of the time when people announce several times that they don't have the money for that to the cashier it is a SCAM. They normally are buying basic needs and keep mentioning this so that the cashier feels sorry for them and gives them the stuff. The reason she wouldn't take the money from your son is they want to be able to con more money from the giving person. Since it wasn't you, he wasn't good enough in the con artist eyes. And who says homeschoolers aren't socialized? :lol: I doubt she had a mental illness. Possible, but unlikely. More likely is the second scenario -- she knew exactly what she was doing. Apparently, so did the cashier. ;) This person was rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKidAcademy Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 She was rude. Your son was great. I hope he continues his kind ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That's too bad your son had a bad experience. Your son's comment is priceless about buying her vote:D I know I have had older people yell at me that they didn't need my help when I was trying to just open the door for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisamarie Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Honestly, that made me :lol::lol::lol:. Glad your DS realized that she's a nut job and made such a funny comment about him trying to buy her vote.:lol: And no, I haven't had that happen before, but there's always a first time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pegasus Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 I hope it doesn't put him off helping others! Unfortunately, that is usually what happens after situations like this. I was certainly put off from even offering to help anyone for a long time after one woman went nuts on me. She was juggling an infant and a young toddler when a slightly older child fell from a high chair onto the floor and was crying. I only approached and asked if she needed some help and she started screaming at me like *I* was the bad guy in the situation. I tried to say a few soothing things to calm the situation but that just made her madder. I finally said something very not nice and walked away. Not my proudest moment. Kudos to the OPs son. I do think the woman sounds unbalanced. If she was trying to scam, she would have taken the money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 I hope the woman's nastiness doesn't discourage your DS. Good on him anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That's not about him, that's about her. What a poor soul. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quad Shot Academy Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 Thanks for all the kind words about my son. :blushing: You guys really have me worried about helping anyone now! It never occurred to me that someone would do that as a scam. I am already very wary about "homeless panhandlers" because of an expose done on our local news. They followed 10 panhandlers for a week and recorded all of their moves. All but 1 went to a middle class neighborhood and they made enough to make $40,000 a year, tax free!! I am glad to know that this lady was most likely a nut and that most people aren't that rude. I have to admit I am tempted to do it to a bunch of people and see how they react now. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Your ds might like The Wouldbegoods. The children try, each chapter, to do Good Things, but they go horribly wrong. Lovely romp around the British countryside, with lashings of jolly good food thrown in for good measure as is usual per the genre. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FLDebbie Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 It could be a mental illness as well like some others have said. I was out with my mom once and she started yelling at the cashier about something totally out of place like that. It turned out that she was in the early stages of Alzheimers and when she got confused, she started to say very odd things. With so much media saturation about the election, it could be that was just on her mind. I apologized to the cashier, but I could see she was shaken. Hopefully, your son will realize she didn't want help, but what a wonderful thing it is to help others. If we could all could do that, think of how great this world could be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 This does remind me of one of my coworkers trying to give some food to a homeless woman at Pioneer Square. The woman freaked out and began yelling at the top of her lungs at my friend. It is funny now, but at the time my coworker was mortified. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pod's mum Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 (edited) AskPauline mentioned The Wouldbegoods. We like this story too. Librivox has a good + free audiobook download of this.. http://archive.org/details/wouldbegoods_09_01_librivox and there is a lovely older video. Some of our help offers get rejected too, and some are gratefully accepted. I'm willing to accept knockbacks rather than miss those that really appreciate the hand. Normally help or a lift rather than financial in our case. Mind you, I would be very embarrassed to be publicly yelled at like that. Edited November 3, 2012 by Pod's mum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 "Paranoia strikes deep" --- truest words from any '60s pop-song. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 My mom grew up in the part of town where families were poor enough to be often on the receiving end of charity. My mom said that except for little kids (you know, the ones who still believe in Santa), folks hate receiving charity because they feel like people are trying to "save" the recipients from their "pathetic" selves. I'm sure this isn't always the case, but it does seem to be part of the culture. Yes, it is sad. On many levels. However, I'm glad my mom told me about this so I could be sensitive to it. But I agree that that woman sounds a little senile or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PentecostalMom Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Well, from the story it sounds like your son just ran into a nut. Or... she was embarassed to admit that she needed help. Either way, I sure hope this doesn't discourage him from helping in the future. Some people just have a lot of pride and don't like to swallow it.I don't think he did anything wrong. Poor guy. :( Oh my gosh, your poor DS. :grouphug: She was very rude. He handled it as graciously as anyone could have. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeneralMom Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 My mom grew up in the part of town where families were poor enough to be often on the receiving end of charity. My mom said that except for little kids (you know, the ones who still believe in Santa), folks hate receiving charity because they feel like people are trying to "save" the recipients from their "pathetic" selves. I'm sure this isn't always the case, but it does seem to be part of the culture. Yes, it is sad. On many levels. However, I'm glad my mom told me about this so I could be sensitive to it. But I agree that that woman sounds a little senile or something. It does sound like she probably was senile. However, there is a difference between and act of kindness and charity. I would think that as a senior citizen it was probably pretty humiliating to have a child come up to her and try to hand her cash. Many senior citizens, especially, get very touchy about charity and its perceived implication that they cannot take care of themselves. I was stopped at a long red light and there was a homeless man with a dog. I had the window open and the dog was wagging his tail at my kids. I asked the gentleman if I could give him the homemade muffins we hadn't eaten at our picnic for his dog and he refused. I was instantly insulted, but he then proceeded to tell me that the first thing you learn as a homeless person is never to take food from people, especially fast food or home made goods because people do awful things to them and many homeless companion animals are poisoned. I was shocked. So, maybe this person had a good reason that we just cannot comprehend because we are not in her shoes. I hope this doesn't discourage your son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quad Shot Academy Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 Thanks for the book recommendation; I ordered it from the library. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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