Remudamom Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 My fabulous mom married last year and now it's impossible to be around her. It's XXXX does this and XXXX does that and he's so great and I love him so much and I'm so happy. And he's supporting me and yada yada yada, she is always shoving him up my nose and I do not like him. No one else likes him. Couldn't visit with my brother because XX wouldn't stop monopolizing the conversation long enough for anyone else to tallk. Can't visit with sister because he can hear us and wants some quiet. I see them one week a year if I'm lucky. Tomorrow we move to dad's house. I came on this trip to see MOM. I saw xxx. Frankly I can't wait to get out. Don't quote, I'll delete. I hope she is happy with him because she is running everyone else off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 ditto with my MIL and SFIL. Cannot stand that man and he runs her life. Great. She hasn't seen her grandchildren grow up and barely speaks to her son (because her dh doesn't like us). She has lost just about everyone else in her life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghee Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 :( That's really hard. My MIL and SIL are like that, the new man is the "be all, end all". They even completely adopt every interest that he has. SIL's ex SO (that she was with when DH and I married) loved wrestling, so she did, too. Then she met someone else and married him. He was a huge Tennessee Vols fan, suddenly her house was orange, her clothes were orange, she "couldn't get enough football", she even had big Tennessee "T"s everywhere. Then she divorced him and married someone else. That guy was into motorcycles and custom trucks. SIL was all about the bike rallies and truck shows then. MIL does the same thing, but with fewer men. I want to say "Seriously, develop your OWN personality." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Tough situation. It might only be temporary though. Once the madly-in-love phase is over, if they stay together, she'll hopefully settle back into a more balanced state. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandellie4 Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 :grouphug: to all of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted September 9, 2012 Author Share Posted September 9, 2012 She won't get over it. This is what she does. It's all about the man for her, even at the expense of her children and grandchildren. Vomit. I have a stepmother my age. She was the other woman. She is also smart enough to fly low and keep her mouth shut. Easy, easy to be around. It's a pity that the woman who broke up my parent's marriage is the one we're comfortable with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in SC Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 My mom is in a very similar new(ish) marriage. It's not a good situation. She misses a lot regarding her grandchildren's lives due to xxx's preferences. I'm sorry it's like this for you. :grouphug: Btw, your granddaughter is gorgeous! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 She won't get over it. This is what she does. It's all about the man for her, even at the expense of her children and grandchildren. Vomit. Sorry to hear it. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted September 9, 2012 Author Share Posted September 9, 2012 I am so mad I can't sleep. When he came out and *****ed about us laughing I should have said "Fine, leaving for dad's now." Mom should have told him to freaking stuff it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 (edited) That's tricky. Edited September 9, 2012 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 :grouphug: Yep. New parent/in-law marriages are just peachy to navigate. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I know it's too late for this trip, but next time I think you should make a few specific plans with just your mom and your siblings away from your mother's house. Lunch, coffee, whatever it takes to have a good conversation with the people you really want to see. Maybe your dh could take the kids to play at the park at the same time, so he gets a break, too. Is there a hotel in town you could stay at next time? I know it costs more, but it's easier on the stress level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkInTheBlue Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I'm SO sorry! :grouphug: My mother dated someone like this for years. I was so happy when she broke up with him and actually stuck to her guns that time. She was even engaged and I was horrified. Again, so sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 :grouphug: That sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Ugh. You have my sympathies. That stinks all around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I'm sorry. I hope you have an enjoyable visit at dad's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I'm sorry your mom is favoring her new man over her lifelong family. :( Maybe you can talk to her and tell her how much fun it would be for the two of you to have some time alone together to go someplace special. Alone. Without him. But you don't say, "without him." You just call it a mother-daughter day out. Sounds like your dad's wife is a much nicer person than your mom's new husband. Personally, I would tell New Husband where to stick his attitude, and let the chips fall where they may, but I'm kind of mean like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 (edited) Yup. We've got one of those around here too. He's been known to tell Mum when to go to bed, to hover around outside the door when she's gone to the loo, won't go across the road to buy a sandwich unless she stops talking to me and goes with him, and he stares at our booKs if we're not wearing our baggiest shirts with an apron over the top. And they are coming to visit for ten whole days in a few weeks. *sigh* Sooner or later one of these visits is going to end in a barney... It might be this one because I've only got one full length apron. Rosie Edited September 9, 2012 by Rosie_0801 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blessed3x Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 :grouphug: My mother has also remarried and I do like him. She has changed however, now that she is a kept woman. She used to work, but no longer has to. He is well off, quiet and very nice. She has taken over in every way, speaks non-stop about all they do (travels, charity, etc) but does not take an interest in her children or grandchildren. We rarely speak now. It is tough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 My mom does this too. She also doesn't go anywhere without her DH. I hate it. I would like to have lunch with her alone but she gets her feelings hurt if I suggest it. So I don't ask anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted September 10, 2012 Author Share Posted September 10, 2012 She asked me this morning what was the matter and I told her. I said "Obviously xxx isn't happy with us here. I get one chance a year to visit with my sis and he fusses about us laughing?" Sis is mad too and says she's going to mention it to mom. He came out of the bedroom and said "Who is talking??? Who is talking??" Like we were two years old or something. Then said to keep it down. He tried to apologize this morning, said it sounded like 100 people, he thought it was the tv, etc. I basically said nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 what an ack. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 It's so sad that this man is able to ruin things for you and your sister. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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