Do your children look really different from each other?

[annlaura]

My older son got every available deeply recessive gene. He does have details that are recognizable as from me or DH, but it isn't immediately obvious he resembles either of us. And the two boys are very different. I have heard so many comments, some amusing, some less so. Just recently at my grandmother's funeral, one of my cousin's tried to find out if my boys really have the same father. My MIL has even made a few, um, rude comments. She takes them back later, but she's still made them.

[JoLuRu]

DH and I look very much alike - medium brown hair, blue eyes, fair skin that freckles. Our kids look very much like the two of us, except the middle DD who has red hair.

 

Someone joked to DH with the newest baby, "At least you know they're all yours and not the mailman's!" I found that rather insulting, but I loved his comeback: "I'd be amazed if (I) had the mailman's baby, since our mailman is an Asian woman."

[orangearrow]

I think my kids barely even look related, but other people tell me they see many similarities. I just don't see it at all. I think that most people are seeing similarities in mannerisms as opposed to physical similarities.

 

Their hair color/hair texture, eye color/shape, noses, chins, dimples vs no dimples, body build... nothing is the same. None of our individual families resemble one another at all, so each kid seems to have inherited a specific genetic set from distant relatives. ha!

 

One child strongly resembles dh... which is just not fair at all. :glare:

 

:lol: I look exactly like my dad's side of the family (and none of our kids picked up on that particular genetic strand) - and my dh, I think, maybe fell off a turnip truck because he doesn't look like anyone in his family. :p

[Kirch]

We joke that we have a "his" and a "hers"--ds1 looks just like me, with blond hair, fair skin, blue eyes and features that resemble my family, while ds2 looks just like dh--olive skin, brown hair and eyes (and his daddy's dimples:D) and resembles dh's family, especially his mom's side. We've never gotten mailman comments, though--how incredibly rude! We do get lots of comments on the his/hers resemblances, though. I can't wait to see what our new little one will look like!

[Laura Corin]

Yes, but no-one has ever joked about it. Calvin is tall (neither of us is) has dark hair and pale skin like me, and blue eyes like his dad. Hobbes is short, with light hair and golden skin like his dad but with my brown eyes.

 

Laura

[sbgrace]

I have twins who look extremely different. One took entirely after his daddy in looks. The other took after my side of the family though more my sister than me. Both my husband and I have brown hair and hazel eyes we got a blond hair, blue eyed child! They are entirely different in personality too but, interestingly, their personalities come more from the opposite parents as their looks.

 

We've never received rude comments but a lot of people seem impelled to point out that one looks like daddy and the other mommy.

 

Boy 1:

brown hair, thick

hazel eyes

stockier/thicker bone build (daddy's side)

more olive skin

his daddy's face almost exactly except my smile. When he was born someone said he looks more like his daddy than his daddy looks like himself or something like that--it's uncanny really.

 

Boy 2:

blond hair, thinner

blue eyes (no one in my husband's immediate family have blue eyes but his grandmother did; I never dreamed the two of us would have a blue eyed child!)

thin and small bone build (my side)

lighter/pink undertone skin

face very much like my side of the family

 

Their smiles are similar (mine) and they both have their daddy's cowlicks. That's it.

 

My sister and her husband have four kids. They all look extremely similar and not like their parents. No one can figure out where the nose comes from on either side yet each child has very similar noses for example. Genetics are interesting.

Edited June 27, 2012 by sbgrace

[kolamum]

Nope. At times two of mine can pass for identical twins. In fact, they use to be asked that ALL the time. When the second one was 3 months old photos were made & dh took them to work to share around, a friend of the family saw it & laughed & then said, "nice one mate, now where's the new baby's photo!" Dh calls me & says, "You sent the wrong photos & I've shown everyone!"

 

I told him I had NOT sent the wrong photos & if he remembered correctly the first child was photographed in a mickey mouse outfit not a pooh bear one. He actually opened up his wallet to pull out the photo of the other child. To this day I laugh EVERY single time I think about that story!

[Carpe]

I bet no one will have it as hard as this couple:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2082429/Mixed-race-couple-Dean-Durrant-and-Alison-Spooner-celebrate-after-having-a-second-set-of-black-and-white-twins.html

 

Two sets of very different fraternal twins! They seem to take it in stride though.

 

My boys both look exactly like I would if I were a boy but with my husband's hair. But one of my brothers looks nothing like the rest of us. He's taller, thinner, blond, blue eyed. The rest of us are dark haired and stout with green or brown eyes. My mom thankfully never got the mailman comments, probably because she's not blonde either :lol:

[chepyl]

DS was blonde, his hair has darkened a bit, but still not brown. Blue eyes, pale skin. He does not tan, he would burn amd go back to pale white if I did not slather him in screen.

 

DD is brown haired, browned, darker complected and tans easily like me.

 

DH and I both have brown eyes, he has red hair and is very pale and I have brown hair and an olivy completion. I got jokes at first when DS was little, bit his face looks just like his Daddy now and DD looks just like my sister and I.

[The Girls' Mom]

I just had people ask if my girls were MINE when they were younger. (I have dark curly hair and green eyes, all of my girls have straight blond hair and blue eyes) Everyone assumed I was the baby sitter. :lol:

 

My dh and his brother were as different as night and day when they were younger. Dh was stocky with blond hair and a olive complexion. His brother was tall, stick thin, bright red hair and had a very fair complexion that was covered in freckles. Their parents are brown hair/brown eyed and blond hair/blue eyed. They were constantly asked where dh's brother got his red hair from. His mom taught him a snarky reply: From the oil man. Dh's grandfather was the "oil man" in town and was the genetic contributor for the red hair.

 

When I met dh's brother, even I asked "are you SURE you are related?" But now that they are both approaching middle age, they actually look like brothers. Dh brother's hair has faded to a strawberry blond/white and his freckles have nearly merged.

[JeanM]

It is fairly common for people to ask if my boys are both mine, if one is adopted, etc. My younger ds has taken to explaining that neither is adopted, and they really are brothers, right after they are introduced to someone.

 

Older ds: very tall, dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin tone

younger ds: short, light hair, blue eyes, pale skin tone

[angela in ohio]

We get comments the other way. My three dc look exactly like each other (except the girls have longer hair :D.) People stop us all the time to comment on it, ask the girls if they are twins (despite the 6" difference,) say that we can't deny them :001_huh:, etc.

 

My db was tan, blonde, and blue-eyed (from my mom's side,) and I was freckled and red-headed (from my dad's side.) They were stationed in Germany when we were born, and people teased my mom about the "German milkman" with my brother. :lol:

[justamouse]

No, even the ones with different coloring still have a certain family look about them.

[TravelingChris]

Well some people are just stupid. Like the idiots who say how did my youngest get her red hair while dh has strawberry blond hair, I have auburn hair, son has red beard though dirty blond hair, and other daughter has golden blond hair in summer but it has more red in it in winter.

 

In terms of facial features and skin color and eye color, they are all very close. Middle has a more olive tone but very light anyway. It just helps her tan more easily than any of the rest of us. So if all of us had to wear foundation, we would all be within the two lightest shades. Now the hair texture is different- oldest and youngest have wavy hair and middle usually has straight- it did get a bit wavy when we lived near the beach. I don't think the three look much like any of the relatives on either side nor like dh nor me. They do look similar to each other, though. No one ever says, so and so looks like you or your husband.

[kricau]

We were just talking about this on the " S/O--Do you have a child that physically stands apart (i.e. Attractive)? " post.

 

Yes, mine are totally opposite. One dark skin, hair (brown) and eyes (brown). The other light skin, hair (blond) and eyes(green).

 

And what's worse is the one looks exactly like hubby and me, but the other only has the eyes in common with me.

 

Don't get any ideas...but she looks alot like DH's brother :lol:

 

I'm tired of the "joke" that the mailman was somehow involved. I admit that my children look very different from one another.

 

Eyes: 6yo got his dad's blues, 2yo got brown from me

Skin tone: 6yo got his dad's whiter than white, 2yo got my Slavic skin

Hair color: 6yo has my brown-from-birth color, 2yo has his dad's that starts out blond

Hair texture: 6yo has my thick waviness, 2yo has his father's straight thin hair

 

And on and on. It seems they didn't choose the same feature from either of us for any trait. I get that it's interesting/strange, but must everyone make the same offensive joke? Especially in front of my children. I'm just waiting for 6yo to ask what that means and then say "Mrs. Smith is implying that one of you isn't really daddy's child" or something along those lines.

 

If your children look different from one another, do you get these comments? What do you say?

[stripe]

I bet no one will have it as hard as this couple:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2082429/Mixed-race-couple-Dean-Durrant-and-Alison-Spooner-celebrate-after-having-a-second-set-of-black-and-white-twins.html

 

Two sets of very different fraternal twins! They seem to take it in stride though.

I really hate these sorts of articles. First of all, the dad is not very dark at all to begin with, and neither is the daughter with "black skin"! It's also not very helpful to say she has hair like her father's when he has a shaved head, so we can't tell what his hair is like. (However, her hair doesn't look that curly anyway.) The idea that one of them is white and one of them is black is rather....well, I don't know how to phrase it, but it's stupid, especially in a culture that doesn't have a very flexible definition of what being black or white is or recognize shades of brown, as is common in cultures that have a lot of skin variations. I don't think they look that different, anyway.

[ereks mom]

Just the opposite, actually. ER & EK look SO much ALIKE that people often think they are opposite-sex twins. Exact same hair color and eye color--and their hair and eyes are not the same color as mine or dh's. They both look a lot like my brother.

[SKL]

My kids have completely different, unrelated birth families, yet I've been asked if I've had them genetically tested to see if they are identical twins, ha ha. (They do not look anywhere near identical unless you need very strong glasses. But their coloring is about the same.)

 

My parents had 6 of us, and only the youngest was (is) blond. Light blond. Other than that, though, she really looks like both parents. In those days, the mailman/milkman joke was considered "good-natured" and my sister actually used to respond that way sometimes when she was a tot (with no idea what it meant, obviously). She eventually learned to respond "I inherited it from my grandmother" and that would shut people up.

[BlsdMama]

I get that it's interesting/strange, but must everyone make the same offensive joke? Especially in front of my children. I'm just waiting for 6yo to ask what that means and then say "Mrs. Smith is implying that one of you isn't really daddy's child" or something along those lines.

 

If your children look different from one another, do you get these comments? What do you say?

 

You know it is *my* husband that makes this joke and he is always surprised I am offended. :glare::001_huh: But, yes, it's offensive. It's incredibly offensive. Why DO people say such things? Sigh.

 

Most of ours look similar. Ella looks very different. Liz looks like my sister's.

 

OTOH, in *my* family we look so different that many have actually questioned (sincerely) if my brother is adopted or if we are "full" brother & sisters. My sister and I are both very, very fair. I have green eyes and my sister has blue. My brother is *very* dark complected and has dark brown/black eyes with dark brown hair. We don't share facial features, etc. We look like our mom and he looks a lot like our dad.

 

People made comments all the time. I don't know that we noticed or cared. People just say thoughtless things... almost constantly.

[Denisemomof4]

If your child asks, I would say something more along the lines of, "Some people don't realize that siblings can look so different!". I would be careful not to show your kids how much it bothers you. I completely understand why it does, but if your kids pick up on it, it will also bother them. The more light hearted you are about it, the more you will help them not to be bothered.

 

I once had a nurse tell me how my youngest looks just like me. My three older kids are dh's and my bio kids. We are all caucasIan and look similar. Dd9 is adopted, Chinese and has very dark (GORGEOUS) skin.:confused: i will never understand some people!

[jenn-]

My 3 boys favor each other in some aspects. Their hair color is similar and when it is freshly cut, you can't tell them apart from the backside (all 3 have an identical swirl). They do each have a different eye color. Their face shapes are very different from each other though with oldest twin resembling my side, younger twin resembling DH's side, and the youngest being a combination of the two of us favoring an older generation on my side more though (he looks like my granny). They look close enough now that I have been asked if they are triplets. The comment that offends my older twin the most though is when they ask if he and his youngest bro are the twins as he is 2 years older. My younger twin has a couple of inches and 8-10 pounds on his "older" brother at any given time so he looks older.

 

My DD does have the "mailman" involvement though as her bio dad was a deadbeat that we forced to turn over his rights when she was 5ish. Luckily she is the spitting image of me, so no one questions her appearance.

[Mom-ninja.]

Yep. My middle ds looks nothing like my other two. He has cried before at times due to comments people make.

 

He actually is begging me to color my hair his color so people will stop making comments.

 

The bright side is that when you have a red headed child and you color your hair red then everyone assumes your red hair is natural. :D

[mommaduck]

Yep. My middle ds looks nothing like my other two. He has cried before at times due to comments people make.

 

He actually is begging me to color my hair his color so people will stop making comments.

 

The bright side is that when you have a red headed child and you color your hair red then everyone assumes your red hair is natural. :D

It seems like a lot of redheads get this (is they really your child?). My blondie that I posted is actually strawberry blonde (her hair dulls in the winter, but it's really redding up right now due to the warmer weather). Probably due to it being a recessive trait.

[Parrothead]

The entire crew:

 

Wow! The baby is so big! That is a good looking group of kids there.

[Parrothead]

Well, considering I have one Caucasian child, one Korean child,and one Indian child... Yeah, we get ALL kinds of comments. :tongue_smilie:

 

Where did you get them?

Are they all yours?

Do you have any REAL children?

Are you going to tell them they are adopted?

 

And I once had a worker at Chuck E Cheese accuse me of trying to kidnap my ds because he doesn't look like me.

 

Thick skin and a good sense of humor gets me through it. :glare:

Real children? How funny.

 

"No, I don't have real children. I produce them in my animationics lab."

[Impish]

They all resemble each other.

 

Funny thing, they're all more fair than Wolf in colouring, w/the exception of Princess who has brown eyes...everyone else has blue.

 

I've been questioned as to if Wolf is the Dad of Tazzie :glare:

[KidsHappen]

I have various combinations of children that look so much alike that a stranger can walk up to them in a crowd and ask if they are so-and-so's (one of my other children) sister. Also some of my children look so much like me that someone can see them out in public and say you are so-and-so's (me) child.

[Parrothead]

I bet no one will have it as hard as this couple:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2082429/Mixed-race-couple-Dean-Durrant-and-Alison-Spooner-celebrate-after-having-a-second-set-of-black-and-white-twins.html

 

Two sets of very different fraternal twins! They seem to take it in stride though.

 

The older girls look to have the same features just differently colored. If one gets past the coloring one can really tell they are sisters.

[Parrothead]

It seems like a lot of redheads get this (is they really your child?). My blondie that I posted is actually strawberry blonde (her hair dulls in the winter, but it's really redding up right now due to the warmer weather). Probably due to it being a recessive trait.

My natural hair color is strawberry blonde to red depending on season and latitude. At least is was last time I saw it. (I'm pretty sure i"m mostly gray now.)

 

I'm a bundle of recessive genes. I look like I should be my mom's brother's and my dad's sister's kid. I'm a Scots-Irish (mostly) redhead with green eyes and fair skin.

 

My brother on the other hand has dark hair/eyes and olive skin. He looks like my dad's dad. I remember visiting my grandmother when I was 15. She had old pix of my grandfather. I asked her why she had a photo of db in a WWII uniform. The resemblance was uncanny.

 

Oh, and since dd is an only, there aren't comments except the ones saying that she must look like dh. What do you think?

Edited June 27, 2012 by Parrothead

[SilverMoon]

Mine may as well be carbon copies with different color variations. Their hair ranges from surf bum blonde to dark chocolate brown, their eyes from pale blue to dark chocolate brown, and their skin from pale Irish kid to medium-dark tan. They are a mix of an Irish and Native American cross and a Euro-mutt. If you looked at them without notice of the coloring you'd have no doubts about them being siblings, but one child in particular does get singled out for "different" comments. She has dark chocolate straight hair and dark chocolate eyes, and her two closest in age siblings have curly blonde hair and blue eyes. Even MIL introduces that DD as the "different one" (:001_huh:).

 

The kid that gets the comments is only 4 right now. She either rolls her eyes at the comments, or answers with a defiant annoyance, "I am NOT." For the people who clearly mean no ill-intent I can tell them to look at her face, or share the stories of how she looks like a photocopy of her great-grandmother's photographs. The rude ones I try not to give the time of day, and her sisters will usually give her hugs if they hear it.