Duggar Mystery Revealed!

[Julie in Austin]

She doesn't have perfect children! She has a good video editor!

 

http://health.discovery.com/beyond/?playerId=219475126&categoryId=219535198&lineupId=769921206&titleId=1618633062

 

And then watch the video right after that one . . .

(She is one patient mama, tho. I would have pitched those shoes across the room three seconds into the tape.)

[JFSinIL]

Oh, that was fun! I wonder if she finally yelled at the kids after the camera left?

[nancypants]

All I can say is Woohooo! She changed her hair (at least for that interview)! She looks 10 years younger without those... wings!!

[astrid]

My observations have nothing to do with the kids:

1. Her hair is better. Vastly so.

2. She looks like she's lost weight.

 

And I cannot even wrap my head around the fact that she's pregnant with #18. :willy_nilly:

[lynn]

She doesn't have perfect children! She has a good video editor!

 

http://health.discovery.com/beyond/?playerId=219475126&categoryId=219535198&lineupId=769921206&titleId=1618633062

 

And then watch the video right after that one . . .

(She is one patient mama, tho. I would have pitched those shoes across the room three seconds into the tape.)

 

I think that's the first time I saw Michelle with her hair not so funky it actually looked updated.

[Elisabeth in IL]

She is definitely more patient then I would be or am with my own three boys. A nap would be in my immediate future after that interview.

[Pamela H in Texas]

IMO, that wasn't patience, but permissiveness. I'm sure she's not always like that though or else she's blessed with the easiest kids on earth because every other time I've seen them, they've definitely been well-behaved.

 

Another guess....I've seen some people be VERY permissive with their under 2 or 3 yr olds but then by 4 or 5, the kids act right. So though I personally couldn't do it, maybe there is a method that works like that.

 

Still, I would have excused myself from the interview (even if I didn't leave the room) and dealt with those kids. No way would my kids been allowed to carry on like that.

 

But strict is my thing. I actually have to work at NOT being overly strict. But in this case, I saw her as permissive.

[Kelli in TN]

That was really sweet. I cannot relate to that number of children, but I sure can relate trying to juggle two little ones close to age while carrying on a conversation with another adult!!!

 

I laughed at the end of the video when she says "I'm sorry, what was the question?"

 

She seems so much more like a regular mom with regular kids in that video.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I guess I don't see this as permissive, but understanding the developmental capabilities of children that young trying to behave for that long. She was, perhaps, not in a situation where she could attend to their needs as she would in other situations. I saw the behavior as developmentally appropriate and expected for that age. Mom not paying attention to them and they, being very little, doing what they could to get her attention.

[Sharon in SC]

I guess I don't see this as permissive, but understanding the developmental capabilities of children that young trying to behave for that long. She was, perhaps, not in a situation where she could attend to their needs as she would in other situations. I saw the behavior as developmentally appropriate and expected for that age. Mom not paying attention to them and they, being very little, doing what they could to get her attention.

 

:iagree:

[M&M]

That was really sweet. I cannot relate to that number of children, but I sure can relate trying to juggle two little ones close to age while carrying on a conversation with another adult!!!

 

I laughed at the end of the video when she says "I'm sorry, what was the question?"

 

She seems so much more like a regular mom with regular kids in that video.

 

 

:iagree:

[jmgconner]

That was great! While I have no desire to have that many children, I do look up to her and her kind and gentle voice with the children. Yep - feeling a bit convicted over here yelling at my four. :tongue_smilie:

[Remudamom]

I think she's incredible. I would be Stark. Raving. Mad.

[M&M]

I think she's incredible. I would be Stark. Raving. Mad.

 

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

[cin]

That was great! While I have no desire to have that many children, I do look up to her and her kind and gentle voice with the children. Yep - feeling a bit convicted over here yelling at my four. :tongue_smilie:

 

I was thinking the same thing. She has the perfect personality for a mom of 18. Quiet, calm and patient. Unlike, um, me :blush5: and I only have 2. I've actually tried modeling some of her stuff.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

Well, that's refreshing to see I have to say. Makes me feel like I'm doing okay!

[Pamela H in Texas]

I saw the behavior as developmentally appropriate and expected for that age.

 

Maybe it is. But it doesn't need to be allowed to continue. A simple, "excuse me" and then attending to the kids for a momen (getting them each some blocks or whatever) would have allowed her to finish the interview and shown discipline instead of allowing carrying on.

 

Also, at 1 and 2, they can learn to "interrupt" appropriately.

 

I *know* I'm a hard-nose. I really have little patience for acting up. And I was in an extra bad mood when I watched the clip last night.

 

But I don't believe that age-appropriate means "let it happen." To me, that *is* permissive. And then when she gets sick of it, she'll do what? punish? fuss? etc? Why not just deal with it appropriately in the first place?

 

AGAIN though, I've seen plenty of clips of this family and it does seem that things go smoothly so maybe they are just a family that allows a lot more from their toddlers but does tighten the reigns later. *I* couldn't do that but I have seen it work for other families as long as they don't continue claiming everything is "age-appropriate" throughout childhood.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I do want to change part of my answer after re-watching the clip.

 

There were two times when I thought she did an excellent job disciplining. She guided the kids in the way they needed to handle this issue at hand and she didn't let it go.

 

However, also in reviewing it, I was even more convinced of my other opinion regarding much of it. I never tell a child to do something multiple times, and I don't tell them once without expecting SOMETHING to change. I realize she was trying to do something else but sometimes we have to discipline our kids instead.

 

So I stand by part of my opinion but do want to say that I didn't feel it was all bad either.

 

And again, I just like things peaceful. I gave very firm boundaries to my children and allowed them to have all the freedom in the world within the bounds. I feel that makes children more secure and confident and capable. It also makes it where they don't drive mom nuts through every stage of "age-appropriate" behavior.

 

Maybe part of my view also is that I worked in preschools with toddlers (and fostered when my own kids were very young). In both situations, I had so many children, in order for things to run smoothly as well as to inable me to have plenty of individual and small group time with them, I had to run a tight ship. Only when my oldest was a baby/toddler did I only have one. Usually I had 5-15!

[Sharon in SC]

I never tell a child to do something multiple times, and I don't tell them once without expecting SOMETHING to change. I realize she was trying to do something else but sometimes we have to discipline our kids instead.

 

 

 

I wholeheartedly agree with expecting obedience without repeating the same command multiple times. I do feel, though, that this instance represented extenuating circumstances. My guess is that had they been in more routine life circumstances she, too, would have carried greater expectations for those two. I would venture to say, based on how we see her older kids carry themselves in demeanor and with respect that she, too, *typically* calls for more ready obedience on a regular basis. :)

[TraceyS/FL]

My feeling when watching was that "they" (Discovery) probably wanted the kids there. The baby sleeping in the swing in the background seem staged. The little ones were being curious/normal - but if Discovery wanted it staged that way, she's not going to remove them to deal with it like she might normally.

 

All in all, it was refreshing to see "normal" kids! LOL!!

 

I'm refreshed they allowed it to be placed up for viewing too, i'm guessing they could have asked that it not be put up if they weren't comfy with it. I would think they maintain pretty tight control over that type of stuff.

 

And i agree with the - her hair has never looked better, and she does look like she has lost weight.

[Sharon in SC]

My feeling when watching was that "they" (Discovery) probably wanted the kids there. The baby sleeping in the swing in the background seem staged. The little ones were being curious/normal - but if Discovery wanted it staged that way, she's not going to remove them to deal with it like she might normally.

 

 

 

:iagree: That was another point I meant to add to my previous post.

[manylilblessings]

What I loved about it is this. She's always accused of having her older children raise her younger ones. This would have been the perfect opportunity to have older ones step in and entertain the younger ones, but she handled it herself. Yes, it would have made me batty, and I only have 5. I admire her peaceful spirit with the kids. Nothing seems to rattle her. God bless her!

[dirty ethel rackham]

Another thing that impressed me was that she clearly expressed her joy in her children despite how annoying these little ones were at the time. I think that is just as important (if not more) as correcting undesirable behavior. Oh, if I could be more like that!

[Bess]

Honestly it's hard for me to fathom how anyone could criticize this woman by this video. I think she responded to her children with patience, joy, and with a sweet spirit. Obviously they are strict with their discipline, but being interviewed by Discovery is not the appropriate time to incorporate their usual methods of discipline. It seems like no matter what this woman does or doesn't do, she will always be criticized by someone for something! Her children seemed very normal given the situation, and she was sweet spirited and patient.

[Sharon in SC]

Her children seemed very normal given the situation, and she was sweet spirited and patient.

 

:iagree:

[Mrs Mungo]

My feeling when watching was that "they" (Discovery) probably wanted the kids there. The baby sleeping in the swing in the background seem staged. The little ones were being curious/normal - but if Discovery wanted it staged that way, she's not going to remove them to deal with it like she might normally.

 

I agree with this.

 

I know at some point I would have been like "GGGAAAAAAAHHHH, EVERYONE OUT!!! BLAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!" Clearly, I do not have the patience for 18 kids. Whew.

[Kelli in TN]

Another thing that impressed me was that she clearly expressed her joy in her children despite how annoying these little ones were at the time. I think that is just as important (if not more) as correcting undesirable behavior. Oh, if I could be more like that!

 

I watched it again this morning, just to see if maybe I could spot the permissive parenting. I did not spot the permissive parenting, but I was blessed by how obvious her true delight is in her children.

 

As one who has been concerned about the pairing of an older child with a younger child it made me happy to see that the bond is obviously tight between Mom and little people.

[angela in ohio]

Honestly it's hard for me to fathom how anyone could criticize this woman by this video. I think she responded to her children with patience, joy, and with a sweet spirit. Obviously they are strict with their discipline, but being interviewed by Discovery is not the appropriate time to incorporate their usual methods of discipline. It seems like no matter what this woman does or doesn't do, she will always be criticized by someone for something! Her children seemed very normal given the situation, and she was sweet spirited and patient.

 

:iagree:

[gardening momma]

Isn't it nice that we're free to discipline our children the way we feel is right and appropriate, and not the way any one person says we should?

[Mommy22alyns]

I'll need to go back and watch the video when I can hear it... I'm so stunned at her hair! She does look 10 years younger - good for her!

[praisefor3]

They were at our homeschool convention and just sitting right there at their table. I was so in awe that I just stood and tried to non-chalantly look at them. There was only one other couple at the table so while they were asking questions I was just pretending to listen but was just looking at them.:) I wanted so badly to ask a question since they were right in front of me but I couldn't think of anything but less than appropriate or just plain personal questions like: "How in the world do you do it?" "How do you find time for you know what?" "Where did you put all those children for this weekend?" or "How much outside help do you have?" They led several conferences on managing time, organizing, etc. but I only had time for the vendor fair. I did look at a few of the books they were promoting (mostly so I could just stand there longer and try not to stare at somebody with 18 children.) And, yes, she did look much better and they were quite personable...even though I was too flabbergasted to even speak. I don't want 18 children but I do so admire them for stepping out to do what they believe God has called them to do.

[cin]

I know at some point I would have been like "GGGAAAAAAAHHHH, EVERYONE OUT!!! BLAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!" Clearly, I do not have the patience for 18 kids. Whew.

 

 

:willy_nilly: Yup, that's me!

[cin]

As one who has been concerned about the pairing of an older child with a younger child it made me happy to see that the bond is obviously tight between Mom and little people.

 

 

I remember her saying that they do use the buddy system, which got my attention, but it impressed me that she said that She reserves the right to be ANYBODY's Buddy. That made me think that she is more aware of ALL of those children than I am of my own 2!! I thought if one of the littles needs mommy, or one of the olders needs some alone time, she can intervene and be a buddy.

 

What a Woman! I could never criticize her (even her hair...who has time THINK about a new hairstyle!!! :lol:)

[Nestof3]

Okay, so I felt tired just watching it. Honestly, the daughter was agitating me like crazy.

 

I think I would have been just as pleasant while being taped, using my "I have everything under control" voice. When the videotaper left, I think I would just have to scream, though and tell my daughter how horrible she behaved.

 

There's my confession.

 

I'm not being critical of her at all. I just don't have much tolerance for whining, wiggling little ones.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

I think she's incredible. I would be Stark. Raving. Mad.

 

What? you're not already? I thought you were

 

 

 

:lol::D

 

:leaving: