Respect nowdays for being a conservative "old fashioned" woman?

[treestarfae]

When I go out I notice people treat me as an oddity sometimes for not being the modern norm. When I say how long I haven't worked there's crickets. The downward looks at my casual homeschooling clothes opposed to floosy office wear. The jeering in-laws about how I live in the 50's. I used to be one of these people judging the fray. I'm so glad I've changed. I'm so proud of myself.

In some ways I feel women are being taken advantage of even more now and it shows with how they treat themselves, their children and others.

[atara]

When I go out I notice people treat me as an oddity sometimes for not being the modern norm. When I say how long I haven't worked there's crickets. The downward looks at my casual homeschooling clothes opposed to floosy office wear. The jeering in-laws about how I live in the 50's. I used to be one of these people judging the fray. I'm so glad I've changed. I'm so proud of myself.

In some ways I feel women are being taken advantage of even more now and it shows with how they treat themselves, their children and others.

 

:001_smile:I've been home schooling less than a year and between the busyness, having my child with me so it cuts down on shopping/haircut time, and budget constraints now that he is with me I have to say I'm not looking my snazziest. :-) I have noticed a few stares and "Is she letting herself go?" looks. But, so be it.

 

I also realized that some of the most well liked and respected woman I know dress and adorn themselves plainly and simply. Now believe I am ALL FOR looking good! But at this time, it is just not a priority. And the good news is - it does not have to be. I don't feel I'm selling out if I do or if I don't. It's not a political stance. It is just where I am in life right now. I need comfort and ease TO THE MAX.

 

I am curious. What do you mean by your last sentence?

[astrid]

When I go out I notice people treat me as an oddity sometimes for not being the modern norm. When I say how long I haven't worked there's crickets. The downward looks at my casual homeschooling clothes opposed to floosy office wear. The jeering in-laws about how I live in the 50's. I used to be one of these people judging the fray. I'm so glad I've changed. I'm so proud of myself.

In some ways I feel women are being taken advantage of even more now and it shows with how they treat themselves, their children and others.

 

Excuse me? I work in an office, and I CERTAINLY don't dress in "floosy office wear." Are you suggesting that those of us who work dress like whores to do so? Seriously? I've never seen anyone in any of my workplaces dress inappropriately. Nor do I feel taken advantage of or treated badly by others, and I CERTAINLY am not treating my child poorly because I am not a full time SAHM. :glare:

 

Perhaps I"m misunderstanding your post, but personally, I don't see that you've changed very much. To my eyes, this post certainly judges those who don't share your lifestyle, and while you may not have intended it as such, is completely insulting and judgmental.

 

I"m proud of the work I do in my professional life AND in my private life as a wife, mother, homeschooler and caregiver to my elderly mother, who was ALSO a working mother. I'd like to see a little more respect for those of us who are trying desperately to keep all the balls in the air, fulfill all of our roles, and STILL have a bit of time for ourselves.

 

astrid

Edited April 28, 2012 by astrid

[nmoira]

The downward looks at my casual homeschooling clothes opposed to floosy office wear. The jeering in-laws about how I live in the 50's. I used to be one of these people judging the fray. I'm so glad I've changed. I'm so proud of myself.

In some ways I feel women are being taken advantage of even more now and it shows with how they treat themselves, their children and others.

Do you see the disconnect in what you've written?

[Jennifer in MI]

I must have a really, really, really wonderful community (and I do!), but I've NEVER had anyone look at me funny when I say I stay home. Never. One of my best friends here is a working mom and we respect each other greatly. Many of the women in my town are stay at home moms, so maybe that's why there's the general feeling of acceptance toward it.

 

And, everyone says they really respect the fact that I homeschool too. They all comment on how wonderful my kids are. I've never had a weird look or comment. Never. Maybe it's because my kids are out there in the community - playing baseball, volunteering at the concession stand, meeting friends in the "village", taking karate classes, etc, etc, etc.

 

I don't get the downward glances about my clothes. I do try to have a couple of pieces each year that keep me a little bit trendy and I do try to throw on a little makeup before I go out though. I like to look presentable. It makes me feel good.

 

With the reaction you are getting in your community, I wonder if there isn't a bit of truth to it? Have you let yourself go a little? (You don't have to answer.) Maybe people are worried about you.

[treestarfae]

Excuse me? I work in an office, and I CERTAINLY don't dress in "floosy office wear." Are you suggesting that those of us who work dress like whores to do so? Seriously? I've never seen anyone in any of my workplaces dress inappropriately. Nor do I feel taken advantage of or treated badly by others, and I CERTAINLY am not treating my child poorly because I am not a full time SAHM. :glare:

 

Perhaps I"m misunderstanding your post, but personally, I don't see that you've changed very much. To my eyes, this post certainly judges those who don't share your lifestyle.

 

I"m proud of the work I do in my professional life AND in my private life as a wife, mother, homeschooler and caregiver to my elderly mother, who was ALSO a working mother. I'd like to see a little more respect for those of us who are trying desperately to keep all the balls in the air, fulfill all of our roles, and STILL have a bit of time for ourselves.

 

astrid

The floosy office wear is for the people that are actually looking at me as if I should be wearing the same thing. I see alot of them where I'm at and yes they do look at me that way. As for the rest, your decision for working is your choice and I would hope you're happy with it. My point is I'm ok with who I am and there's people who think it's out of the norm.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Jennifer, I live in a wonderful community too. I have loving friends and family who focus on my smile and not my clothing, on my character and that of my children and not on our schooling method, on my conversation and not on where I spend my time. Actually, I don't focus much on what I do or what I wear, so it hardly ever comes up.

[Jennifer3141]

Do you see the disconnect in what you've written?

 

 

I don't think she does but I will admit that I got the laugh of the day out of that statement. I am a SAHM too. But two of my best friends work outside the home and they ROCK the world. What would we do without hospice social workers or math nerds who handle drug studies?? And gee, neither of them has ever dressed like a "floosy."

 

And just because I'm a SAHM doesn't mean my entire wardrobe changed either. Yes, there are less heels in my life but we have SAHMS here on this board who still live in them and more power to them!

 

I'm not sure people are looking askance at the OP for being a SAHM or just a general judgmental slob. Does she assume that the lovely moms in the grocery store work because they are lovely?

[Mrs Mungo]

The floosy office wear is for the people that are actually looking at me as if I should be wearing the same thing. I see alot of them where I'm at and yes they do look at me that way. As for the rest, your decision for working is your choice and I would hope you're happy with it. My point is I'm ok with who I am and there's people who think it's out of the norm.

 

Do you know what the word floozy means? They can be happy with their choices without it being implied that they dress like harlots.

[astrid]

The floosy office wear is for the people that are actually looking at me as if I should be wearing the same thing. I see alot of them where I'm at and yes they do look at me that way. As for the rest, your decision for working is your choice and I would hope you're happy with it. My point is I'm ok with who I am and there's people who think it's out of the norm.

 

I'd bet you're reading a whole lot into whatever "looks" you think you're getting from those "floosies." I'd love to see an example of what you consider "floosy office wear." Do you routinely go out and about on the Vegas Strip? Do you understand that the term "floozy" is synonymous with "whore" or "harlot?"

 

You seriously do not see the disconnect between your use of the judgmental term "floosy office wear" and comments about the harm we working mothers are doing to our families and your self-congratulation about the fact that you do not judge? Really? I have to say I'm completely gobsmacked by your OP, and your follow-up.

 

astrid

[My3Boys]

When I go out I notice people treat me as an oddity sometimes for not being the modern norm. When I say how long I haven't worked there's crickets. The downward looks at my casual homeschooling clothes opposed to floosy office wear. The jeering in-laws about how I live in the 50's. I used to be one of these people judging the fray. I'm so glad I've changed. I'm so proud of myself.

In some ways I feel women are being taken advantage of even more now and it shows with how they treat themselves, their children and others.

 

I get the odd looks and silence too when I tell people I am a SAHM, especially since my oldest ds is 18 and a senior, even from some at my very conservative church. I cannot afford the latest fashions either. Most of the time it is jeans and sneakers and (nice) casual shirts. I have been called a throw-back too.

 

Truth is, I am happy at home. I am able to put home-cooked meals on the table, keep up on my house, (mostly :tongue_smilie:), garden and can, and I spend time volunteering at school and church. I am available for emergencies and dh, who has a very stressful job and puts in long hours, likes coming home to dinner on the table, clean clothes in the closest, and a calm, fairly orderly home. He tells me often how much he appreciates what I do. I am there when my ds comes home from school. He tells me all the time how nice it is not to have to come home to an empty house. If I happen to be out he calls me to ask where I am and when I will be home :). I was a daycare/latchkey kid for many years and always swore I would live in a tent if I had to if it meant I could be home with my kids.

 

I'm sorry you have gotten so many angry, negative comments. :confused: I'm sure I'll probably get a few aimed in my direction as well. So be it.

Edited April 28, 2012 by My3Boys

[Jane in NC]

When I go out I notice people treat me as an oddity sometimes for not being the modern norm. When I say how long I haven't worked there's crickets. The downward looks at my casual homeschooling clothes opposed to floosy office wear. The jeering in-laws about how I live in the 50's. I used to be one of these people judging the fray. I'm so glad I've changed. I'm so proud of myself.

In some ways I feel women are being taken advantage of even more now and it shows with how they treat themselves, their children and others.

 

In what way are you treated as an "oddity"? I am a bit of an eccentric--always have been. Honestly I could care less what other people think.

 

That said, how do you know you are the recipient of "downward looks"? I have a family member who says things like this but I believe that the comment says more about her own insecurities than treatment from the general public.

 

So if you are indeed "proud of (your)self", why should the opinion of anyone else matter?

[Lisa R.]

I must have a really, really, really wonderful community (and I do!), but I've NEVER had anyone look at me funny when I say I stay home. Never. One of my best friends here is a working mom and we respect each other greatly. Many of the women in my town are stay at home moms, so maybe that's why there's the general feeling of acceptance toward it.

 

And, everyone says they really respect the fact that I homeschool too. They all comment on how wonderful my kids are. I've never had a weird look or comment. Never. Maybe it's because my kids are out there in the community - playing baseball, volunteering at the concession stand, meeting friends in the "village", taking karate classes, etc, etc, etc.

 

I don't get the downward glances about my clothes. I do try to have a couple of pieces each year that keep me a little bit trendy and I do try to throw on a little makeup before I go out though. I like to look presentable. It makes me feel good.

 

With the reaction you are getting in your community, I wonder if there isn't a bit of truth to it? Have you let yourself go a little? (You don't have to answer.) Maybe people are worried about you.

 

:iagree:

 

I do not feel disrespect anywhere I go regarding my style or educational choices.

 

Now, I would be somewhat insulted if someone referred to me as "old fashioned." Conservative is fine for me; old fashioned, most certainly, is not.

[Jennifer in MI]

And just because I'm a SAHM doesn't mean my entire wardrobe changed either. Yes, there are less heels in my life but we have SAHMS here on this board who still live in them and more power to them!

y?

 

:iagree: And, I ROCK it out in my favorite heels!! I feel like a rock star in them. LOVE those shoes!!!! (They're over 3 inches!!)

[nmoira]

:iagree: And, I ROCK it out in my favorite heels!! I feel like a rock star in them. LOVE those shoes!!!! (They're over 3 inches!!)

I'm resisting the temptation to use the "f" word. :tongue_smilie:

[astrid]

I am able to put home-cooked meals on the table, keep up on my house, (mostly :tongue_smilie:), garden and can, and I spend time volunteering at school and church. I am there when my ds comes home from school. He tells me all the time how nice it is not to have to come home to an empty house. If I happen to be out he calls me to ask where I am and when I will be home :).

 

It's important to note that working mothers can and do keep up with all of these things too. I work very hard to put nutritious, home-cooked meals on the table every night for my family, keep up with housework, dog training, dd's activities, schoolwork, friends and needs. It takes a lot of planning, scheduling and teamwork on the part of dd and dh as well, but it these things are not unique to SAHM's only. It's not easy, but working moms do this every. single. day.

 

I can't help but think what would become of this world if all mothers were SAHM's. My world would be much different-- some of the world's best employees, and those who provide services that are vital to my family are working moms. I, for one, am thrilled they have chosen to balance work and family life.

 

astrid

[GingerPoppy]

In what way are you treated as an "oddity"? I am a bit of an eccentric--always have been. Honestly I could care less what other people think.

 

That said, how do you know you are the recipient of "downward looks"? I have a family member who says things like this but I believe that the comment says more about her own insecurities than treatment from the general public.

 

So if you are indeed "proud of (your)self", why should the opinion of anyone else matter?

 

I think this is a good point!

[momma2three]

What an odd and insulting post to just about everyone.

 

I live in a suburb where there are many, many SAHMs. I also know many working mothers. I don't think that anyone looks down on anyone for working or for staying at home.

 

Homeschooling is an oddity here, that is true.

 

Pretty much everyone I know dresses in jeans and t shirts when they're at home. The working women I know wear suits or business casual skirts/slacks with blouses. No one dresses like a "floosie" to go to work.

[astrid]

What an odd and insulting post to just about everyone.

 

I live in a suburb where there are many, many SAHMs. I also know many working mothers. I don't think that anyone looks down on anyone for working or for staying at home.

 

Homeschooling is an oddity here, that is true.

 

Pretty much everyone I know dresses in jeans and t shirts when they're at home. The working women I know wear suits or business casual skirts/slacks with blouses. No one dresses like a "floosie" to go to work.

 

Yes. I quite agree. Thank you.

 

astrid

[Jennifer in MI]

I'm resisting the temptation to use the "f" word. :tongue_smilie:

 

:lol:

 

I probably shouldn't tell you about my totally-awesome dress that I wear with those heels then . . .

Edited April 28, 2012 by Jennifer in MI

[momto2Cs]

What an odd and insulting post to just about everyone.

 

I live in a suburb where there are many, many SAHMs. I also know many working mothers. I don't think that anyone looks down on anyone for working or for staying at home.

 

Homeschooling is an oddity here, that is true.

 

Pretty much everyone I know dresses in jeans and t shirts when they're at home. The working women I know wear suits or business casual skirts/slacks with blouses. No one dresses like a "floosie" to go to work.

 

:iagree:

[nmoira]

:lol:

 

I probably shouldn't tell you about my totally-awesome dress that I wear with those heels then . . .

:D

 

I'm guessing you're not talking denim...

[astrid]

:lol:

 

I probably shouldn't tell you about my totally-awesome dress that I wear with those heels then . . .

 

Is the skirt TeA length? ;):lol:

 

astrid

[treestarfae]

I must have a really, really, really wonderful community (and I do!), but I've NEVER had anyone look at me funny when I say I stay home. Never. One of my best friends here is a working mom and we respect each other greatly. Many of the women in my town are stay at home moms, so maybe that's why there's the general feeling of acceptance toward it.

 

And, everyone says they really respect the fact that I homeschool too. They all comment on how wonderful my kids are. I've never had a weird look or comment. Never. Maybe it's because my kids are out there in the community - playing baseball, volunteering at the concession stand, meeting friends in the "village", taking karate classes, etc, etc, etc.

 

I don't get the downward glances about my clothes. I do try to have a couple of pieces each year that keep me a little bit trendy and I do try to throw on a little makeup before I go out though. I like to look presentable. It makes me feel good.

 

With the reaction you are getting in your community, I wonder if there isn't a bit of truth to it? Have you let yourself go a little? (You don't have to answer.) Maybe people are worried about you.

 

Lol, no I'm not a frumpy introvert. My community is mostly military. Hardly suburbanite bliss but we have outdoor events and activities. My kids have been on the local news 4 times here with activities we frequent. My family is known among many community/cultural people here. That doesn't change the adult attitudes I experience towards me not working and dressing. We'll be moving soon and hopefully to a more family friendly area lol. What I'm seeing is more high strung than a cozy family town.

[Parrothead]

When I go out I notice people treat me as an oddity sometimes for not being the modern norm. When I say how long I haven't worked there's crickets. The downward looks at my casual homeschooling clothes opposed to floosy office wear. The jeering in-laws about how I live in the 50's. I used to be one of these people judging the fray. I'm so glad I've changed. I'm so proud of myself.

In some ways I feel women are being taken advantage of even more now and it shows with how they treat themselves, their children and others.

Wow! You just slapped down every working mother on the planet. Not an easy feat.

 

I'm so glad you are so proud of yourself.

[Parrothead]

Is the skirt TeA length? ;):lol:

 

astrid

:smilielol5:

[My3Boys]

It's important to note that working mothers can and do keep up with all of these things too. I work very hard to put nutritious, home-cooked meals on the table every night for my family, keep up with housework, dog training, dd's activities, schoolwork, friends and needs. It takes a lot of planning, scheduling and teamwork on the part of dd and dh as well, but it these things are not unique to SAHM's only. It's not easy, but working moms do this every. single. day.

 

I can't help but think what would become of this world if all mothers were SAHM's. My world would be much different-- some of the world's best employees, and those who provide services that are vital to my family are working moms. I, for one, am thrilled they have chosen to balance work and family life.

 

astrid

 

I am not unappreciative of what moms with careers outside of the home do. After my mom was widowed, she worked full time plus took in typing for college students (yes, I am dating myself here), on weekends. I also know what it's like on the other side of it, and just wanted something different for my family.

[My3Boys]

I don't think she does but I will admit that I got the laugh of the day out of that statement. I am a SAHM too. But two of my best friends work outside the home and they ROCK the world. What would we do without hospice social workers or math nerds who handle drug studies?? And gee, neither of them has ever dressed like a "floosy."

 

And just because I'm a SAHM doesn't mean my entire wardrobe changed either. Yes, there are less heels in my life but we have SAHMS here on this board who still live in them and more power to them!

 

I'm not sure people are looking askance at the OP for being a SAHM or just a general judgmental slob. Does she assume that the lovely moms in the grocery store work because they are lovely?

 

A "judgmental slob"? Wow. Nice.

[Rivka]

:iagree: And, I ROCK it out in my favorite heels!! I feel like a rock star in them. LOVE those shoes!!!! (They're over 3 inches!!)

 

I'm resisting the temptation to use the "f" word. :tongue_smilie:

 

What does it say about me that I read this and thought, "The F-word... feminism? How would feminism apply here?"

[KungFuPanda]

When I go out I notice people treat me as an oddity sometimes for not being the modern norm. When I say how long I haven't worked there's crickets. The downward looks at my casual homeschooling clothes opposed to floosy office wear. The jeering in-laws about how I live in the 50's. I used to be one of these people judging the fray. I'm so glad I've changed. I'm so proud of myself.

In some ways I feel women are being taken advantage of even more now and it shows with how they treat themselves, their children and others.

 

Perhaps they are responding to an attitude and not an outfit?

[Jennifer3141]

A "judgmental slob"? Wow. Nice.

 

 

Appropriate for a post where working women are called, "floosies" for wearing office attire.

 

And am I the only one here who wonders if the OP is Angela from, "The Office?" I swear I can hear Angela calling Pam out on her "inappropriate dressing" when Pam was wearing a long sleeved Oxford. That top button wasn't buttoned... :lol::lol:

[Lady Florida.]

What an odd and insulting post to just about everyone.

 

I live in a suburb where there are many, many SAHMs. I also know many working mothers. I don't think that anyone looks down on anyone for working or for staying at home.

 

 

Pretty much everyone I know dresses in jeans and t shirts when they're at home. The working women I know wear suits or business casual skirts/slacks with blouses. No one dresses like a "floosie" to go to work.

 

This. I took out the part about homeschooling being an oddity though, because it's fairly common in my area.

 

Perhaps they are responding to an attitude and not an outfit?

 

And this.

[Jennifer3141]

And may I just point out one more thing...

 

Right now we are all playing for free on a web board paid for and maintained by a WORKING MOM. And if you think SWB is a floozy, you should probably get off her website.

 

We have so many WAHMS on this board. How on earth could anyone possibly judge them so harshly?

[Lady Florida.]

And may I just point out one more thing...

 

Right now we are all playing for free on a web board paid for and maintained by a WORKING MOM. And if you think SWB is a floozy, you should probably get off her website.

 

We have so many WAHMS on this board. How on earth could anyone possibly judge them so harshly?

 

:hurray:

[Mrs Mungo]

And may I just point out one more thing...

 

Right now we are all playing for free on a web board paid for and maintained by a WORKING MOM. And if you think SWB is a floozy, you should probably get off her website.

 

We have so many WAHMS on this board. How on earth could anyone possibly judge them so harshly?

 

SWB also wears skirts cut above her knee and rocks some serious heels. Every time I have seen her speak there have been conversations about her shoes.

[Trilliums]

Hm, I read *floosy* and assumed it was just a poor word choice. Pretty sure many of us have done that kind of thing.

 

And then I thought the OP needs to go hang out with gardeners more. :) Casual dirt stained & torn attire welcome.

 

I just helped out at a Master Gardener booth for a plant sale and had a blast talking to all sorts of people in very casual attire. The other woman working with me was a retired speech pathologist and we had a great conversation about speech, schools and homeschooling.

[Dustybug]

I *think* I understand what you are trying to say OP, although I do think the "floozy" remark was a little harsh.

 

I am much more conservative in dress than nearly everyone I know. I don't follow fashion trends and I don't like to draw attention to myself, so I dress relatively plain. I don't do gobs of accessories, fancy shoes, trendy haircuts, etc. Some of this is because we simply can't afford it, most of it is personal choice and conviction. I do get treated a little differently because of it, even amongst other SAHMs. I'm not really sure why because I am friendly, just introverted.

 

I don't go out a lot, I prefer to be at home. My kids aren't constantly being carted around to umpteen extracurricular activities, etc., so I have often gotten comments about that too. *shrug* Different strokes for different folks.

 

I do believe that it is better for children to have a parent at home, but I also believe that everyone has the right to choose what they believe to be right for their families. It's a shame that there is judgement on either side.

[DawnM]

What? I thought you wore size 22 floosy fireman dresses while your wife was strapped to the radiator! :lol:

 

(I must admit that post in your thread a few days ago has been on my mind a lot~!) :D

 

Excuse me? I work in an office, and I CERTAINLY don't dress in "floosy office wear." Are you suggesting that those of us who work dress like whores to do so? Seriously? I've never seen anyone in any of my workplaces dress inappropriately. Nor do I feel taken advantage of or treated badly by others, and I CERTAINLY am not treating my child poorly because I am not a full time SAHM. :glare:

 

 

 

astrid

[Chelli]

Hm, I read *floosy* and assumed it was just a poor word choice. Pretty sure many of us have done that kind of thing.

 

And then I thought the OP needs to go hang out with gardeners more. :) Casual dirt stained & torn attire welcome.

 

I just helped out at a Master Gardener booth for a plant sale and had a blast talking to all sorts of people in very casual attire. The other woman working with me was a retired speech pathologist and we had a great conversation about speech, schools and homeschooling.

 

:iagree: I thought she was trying to mean "fancy" and used the wrong word. But I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. :)

 

If she did use the correct word and used floozy in it's normal context, then, yep, that was off-base.

[Mom-ninja.]

SWB also wears skirts cut above her knee and rocks some serious heels. Every time I have seen her speak there have been conversations about her shoes.

 

Now I want to see her shoe collection.

[astrid]

Oh yes! Dang, you blew my cover! :tongue_smilie::lol:

[Ellesmere]

She is a total floozy. I'M KIDDING! She rocks! ;)

 

C'mon, it's floosy! ;)

 

Signed,

A frumpy introvert

[Catwoman]

When I go out I notice people treat me as an oddity sometimes for not being the modern norm. When I say how long I haven't worked there's crickets. The downward looks at my casual homeschooling clothes opposed to floosy office wear. The jeering in-laws about how I live in the 50's. I used to be one of these people judging the fray. I'm so glad I've changed. I'm so proud of myself.

In some ways I feel women are being taken advantage of even more now and it shows with how they treat themselves, their children and others.

 

OK, I can't be the only one wondering this, but I have to ask: What kind of clothes do you wear on an every day basis?

 

Because if even your in-laws think you're living in the '50's, I'm picturing you dressed like June Cleaver on Leave it to Beaver. But June always looked neat and tidy, so I don't think she would be getting any "downward looks" from anyone.

 

I'm honestly not trying to be mean here, but "casual homeschooling clothes" don't have to be unattractive, and if you're being noticed in a negative way, maybe you should reconsider your wardrobe choices. I say this because most people dressed in casual clothes aren't really noticed one way or the other, and are very rarely commented upon; they usually blend into the woodwork and no one pays attention to them. But you say you get negative looks and comments, which leads me to believe that, while you're proud of your individuality, maybe you appear to be a bit too unkempt, uncoordinated, hippie, Earth Mother, Denim Jumper Mom, or Little House on the Prairie, and that's why you're drawing attention to yourself. (And I'm not saying that some women can't rock a hippie chick look or a denim jumper, but rather, I'm suggesting that there's a point at which any style can go horribly wrong. Before anyone gets upset with me, let's remember that I'm the one who wears leopard print boots with 4 inch heels with my jeans on a regular basis, so it's pretty clear that I'm not going to be able to throw any stones here. :D)

 

And that's assuming that those "floosy" women are paying even the slightest attention to you. Are you sure your own lack of self-confidence isn't making you imagine that others are judging you to be inferior?

 

That said, if you like the way you look and your dh likes it, too, there's certainly no reason to change just to please others (unless the way you look is having a negative effect on your dh's career or reputation -- then, you may want to make a change for his benefit.)

 

Personally, I think you may be judging others more negatively than they are judging you. You seem very defensive, and while you say you're so proud of yourself, I can't help but wonder if that's true, or if, perhaps, you're just trying to make yourself feel superior because you somehow envy the people you think are looking down upon you. I mean, you surmised an awful lot about these "floosy" office workers (that you don't even know,) and you even went so far as to assume things about how they treat their children.

 

I don't mean to judge you, because I don't know you, and I can only think that your original post was made in frustration about a particular incident that upset you, so I hope I haven't said anything that hurt your feelings. I just truly think that you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself if you're truly happy with the way you look and dress right now, and if you're not, to make a few simple changes to make yourself a bit more current. I also think you should consider trying to view other women's lifestyle choices as just that, another person's lifestyle choice -- and to realize that how others live has no effect on your life choices, and that everyone should do what's right for them, whether it's homeschooling, being a non-homeschooling SAHM, or for having a job or a career. It's all good; it's the judging of others' choices that is hurtful and wrong.

 

PS. I think your original post would have been received far more differently if you had focused on feeling good about yourself despite criticism from others, rather than being so judgmental of the "others." I'm sure you didn't realize it at the time, but you came across as being more judgmental of others than they could possibly have been of you.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Edited April 28, 2012 by Catwoman

[Farrar]

Floozy is a really special kind of floosy.

 

The way cheez is a special kind of cheese?

[momma2three]

OK, I can't be the only one wondering this, but I have to ask: What kind of clothes do you wear on an every day basis?

 

Because if even your in-laws think you're living in the '50's, I'm picturing you dressed like June Cleaver on Leave it to Beaver. But June always looked neat and tidy, so I don't think she would be getting any "downward looks" from anyone.

 

I'm honestly not trying to be mean here, but "casual homeschooling clothes" don't have to be unattractive, and if you're being noticed in a negative way, maybe you should reconsider your wardrobe choices. I say this because most people dressed in casual clothes aren't really noticed one way or the other, and are very rarely commented upon; they usually blend into the woodwork and no one pays attention to them. But you say you get negative looks and comments, which leads me to believe that, while you're proud of your individuality, maybe you appear to be a bit too unkempt, uncoordinated, hippie, Earth Mother, Denim Jumper Mom, or Little House on the Prairie, and that's why you're drawing attention to yourself. (And I'm not saying that some women can't rock a hippie chick look or a denim jumper, but rather, I'm suggesting that there's a point at which any style can go horribly wrong. Before anyone gets upset with me, let's remember that I'm the one who wears leopard print boots with 4 inch heels with my jeans on a regular basis, so it's pretty clear that I'm not going to be able to throw any stones here. :D)

 

And that's assuming that those "floosy" women are paying even the slightest attention to you. Are you sure your own lack of self-confidence isn't making you imagine that others are judging you to be inferior?

 

That said, if you like the way you look and your dh likes it, too, there's certainly no reason to change just to please others (unless the way you look is having a negative effect on your dh's career or reputation -- then, you may want to make a change for his benefit.)

 

Personally, I think you may be judging others more negatively than they are judging you. You seem very defensive, and while you say you're so proud of yourself, I can't help but wonder if that's true, or if, perhaps, you're just trying to make yourself feel superior because you somehow envy the people you think are looking down upon you. I mean, you surmised an awful lot about these "floosy" office workers (that you don't even know,) and you even went so far as to assume things about how they treat their children.

 

I don't mean to judge you, because I don't know you, and I can only think that your original post was made in frustration about a particular incident that upset you, so I hope I haven't said anything that hurt your feelings. I just truly think that you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself if you're truly happy with the way you look and dress right now, and if you're not, to make a few simple changes to make yourself a bit more current. I also think you should consider trying to view other women's lifestyle choices as just that, another person's lifestyle choice -- and to realize that how others live has no effect on your life choices, and that everyone should do what's right for them, whether it's homeschooling, being a non-homeschooling SAHM, or for having a job or a career. It's all good; it's the judging of others' choices that is hurtful and wrong.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

:hurray:

 

All well said.

[Catwoman]

Floozy is a really special kind of floosy.

 

The good kind? :D

[Scuff]

Ok ladies, lets take a deep breath. I'm sure she didn't intend to imply they dressed like whores. And there have been plenty of threads where people complained about being judged for homeschooling or staying home.

[Catwoman]

The way cheez is a special kind of cheese?

 

Yup, the special aerosol kind of cheese. :D

[Catwoman]

Actually I think she did.

 

But I didn't take what she said as harshly as others did. I kind of get it. She is saying she has taken a particular path despite the naysayers in her life and she is glad she did it anyway and feels good about it. I didn't read anymore into it than that honestly.

 

:iagree:

 

I think the only reason she upset others was because she was coming across as being more judgmental than the people who were supposedly judging her, and while I don't know for sure, I can't help but wonder if the "office floosy" women were specific individuals, rather than the more general "all women who work outside the home."

 

It's hard to feel like you're being judged, and it's even harder not to lash out against the people you feel are judging you. The problem is, when you post that kind of thing on a large internet forum, people don't know you, and you can't really blame them for being offended by what you say, if you say something negative about an entire population of people without being more specific. If she'd said, "There are these three women who I see every Friday at Panera, and they're so critical and mean about the way I look and dress," this entire thread would probably have gone in a different direction, no matter how she described the three women and their clothing or career choices... because it would have been about a few specific individuals, not "all women who work in offices" or whatever.

[LibraryLover]

What does it say about me that I read this and thought, "The F-word... feminism? How would feminism apply here?"

 

 

:D I got it totally, and wondering what does it say about me that mind went -ZING- right to hotel sex...again. :lol: I'm also gettting a pretty good mental image of fit Amazon runner woman (that would be Jennifer ;)) , over 6ft in her sassy heels, and her even taller dh.

 

See, we can have fun without posting pix of kilts. :auto:

Edited April 28, 2012 by LibraryLover