If you do not want your child to play with something, just say no!

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Ds has about 10 toy guns that he keeps in the car (they are dart-less nerf type, brightly colored, and obviousy toys, from the dollar store). Playing with the guns at the park has increased his social skills greatly.

 

My rules are that he must ask every single parent if their child can play with toy guns (language work since he has to do the talking), no hitting with the guns, and if there is a single fight, the guns are put away.

 

9 times out 10, all goes well. He asks the parents, and all the kids all run around shooting each other. Boys and girls and all different ages.

 

Once in a while a parent doesn't want their kid to play and that is absolutely fine! But please just say no! Don't be iffy about it and then whine that you'd rather your kid not play with guns without ever saying the child cannot.

 

That's all, I'm done whining. :tongue_smilie:

 

**We tried swords and all sorts of other toys, but the swords almost encourage the kids to start beating each other, and nothing else forces ds to interact with other kids (talking, compromising on game rules, sharing, etc).

[Jen500]

Maybe the parent was caught off guard? I have taken my kids to many parks and I have never once seen kids playing with toy guns at the park. My boys do play with them at home with each other or with friends, I just don't know how it would go with unknown kids so i would probably hesitate myself. Plus, the little kids get scared at the park.

[AmyontheFarm]

Maybe the parent was caught off guard? I have taken my kids to many parks and I have never once seen kids playing with toy guns at the park. My boys do play with them at home with each other or with friends, I just don't know how it would go with unknown kids so i would probably hesitate myself. Plus, the little kids get scared at the park.

 

:iagree:

[frugalmama]

I think it depends on the family values. If you asked me that, my answer would be no it's not okay. Our family rule is there is no such thing as a "toy" gun, all guns weather toy or not are weapons and to be considered as such. We also teach that a gun is to be considered loaded until proven not to be, and given the proper behavior accorded to a loaded gun. We also teach never to point a gun, even a toy, at anything living including people.

 

I actually ended up hitting my cousin over this when I was a kid - he had a toy gun and kept pointing it at me. After his dad ignored me asking politely for him to stop pointing it at me for the 5th time, I bonked him on the head with a metal strawberry shortcake lunchbox. He learned his lesson and never pointed a toy gun at me again.

 

But I know that's a minority POV nowdays.

[happi duck]

I think it depends on the family values. If you asked me that, my answer would be no it's not okay. Our family rule is there is no such thing as a "toy" gun, all guns weather toy or not are weapons and to be considered as such. We also teach that a gun is to be considered loaded until proven not to be, and given the proper behavior accorded to a loaded gun. We also teach never to point a gun, even a toy, at anything living including people.

 

I actually ended up hitting my cousin over this when I was a kid - he had a toy gun and kept pointing it at me. After his dad ignored me asking politely for him to stop pointing it at me for the 5th time, I bonked him on the head with a metal strawberry shortcake lunchbox. He learned his lesson and never pointed a toy gun at me again.

 

But I know that's a minority POV nowdays.

 

The bold above cracks me up! I can picture this perfectly...how funny!

 

When I was single I would've guessed that I wouldn't care about toy guns but then...my little nephew (3 y.o. maybe) ran up to me, pointed a toy gun at my face, looked me in the eye and pulled the trigger. I realized that he just pretended to kill me. It felt creepy.

[frugalmama]

The bold above cracks me up! I can picture this perfectly...how funny!

 

When I was single I would've guessed that I wouldn't care about toy guns but then...my little nephew (3 y.o. maybe) ran up to me, pointed a toy gun at my face, looked me in the eye and pulled the trigger. I realized that he just pretended to kill me. It felt creepy.

 

It actually made a big stink - he had to get 4 or 5 staples and a bunch of stitches as it cracked his skull. But luckily my parents defended me when I explained WHY I did it.

 

And I totally agree about the story with your nephew - that would be creepy.

[happi duck]

It actually made a big stink - he had to get 4 or 5 staples and a bunch of stitches as it cracked his skull. But luckily my parents defended me when I explained WHY I did it.

 

And I totally agree about the story with your nephew - that would be creepy.

 

Oh yikes! Okay, when I pictured it there was no blood or doctors involved!

[Catwoman]

Once in a while a parent doesn't want their kid to play and that is absolutely fine! But please just say no! Don't be iffy about it and then whine that you'd rather your kid not play with guns without ever saying the child cannot.

 

 

:iagree:

 

How hard would it have been for the mom to simply say that her kids aren't allowed to play with toy guns? :confused: Either they are or they are not allowed to play with them, so why get all cryptic about it? :glare:

[fraidycat]

DS is obsessed with toy guns. Before he even ever had a toy gun, he had his thumb and index finger to "ping" at people as a toddler. I, still to this day, do not even know where he learned about the guns or "finger guns". I am not a t.v. watcher, and DH (the video gamer) was deployed or always working. I swear it was just born in to him.

 

We played with toy guns when we were young, too. "Cowboys & Indians"...so very un-pc of us. :D But, we also had the "there is no such thing as a toy gun" rule and to NEVER point it at someone. We made each other "dance", but pointing at the feet...just like in all the good westerns. LOL

 

I agree that saying No instead of waffling is a lot easier and clearer for all parties involved you don't want your child to play, though.

[linders]

My boys play with toy guns (and nerf swords and light sabers), but I do see why a parent might get flaky on this.

 

Reading your post, this is a group situation? So, your child brings out all these toy guns in front of the group, asks his polite question, and most of the parents say, "Sure." Off the kids go having fun. The parent who doesn't want their child to play with toy guns is put in the position of telling your child and hers, "No", in effect excluding her child from the play activity that has ensued.

 

We have had a similar situation at our park day. Some moms are okay with light sabers and Nerf guns, some aren't. Just showing up with either without warning caused grief, even if you brought plenty to share. We talked and agreed that some days would be designated "Nerf" or "light saber" days, and posted an appropriate warning on our Yahoo group. Not into that kind of thing? Skip park that day. You may not have a mechamism like that, but it might be appropriate for you to approach the parents out of earshot of the kids and ask before the guns come out.

 

Sounds like having a toy to share is very beneficial to your DS. Is there something else he could bring? Balls (ball tag with Nerf balls is fun) or something similar?

[Chris in VA]

I agree with this. It's the "my kid is left out" feeling that makes the parent sound like she did. But, that's the consequence for having the value. It's hard.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I agree with this. It's the "my kid is left out" feeling that makes the parent sound like she did. But, that's the consequence for having the value. It's hard.

 

Guns do not come out until all parents are ok with it, or they go away if people shift. Last night after his group of kids left, a group of boys (early for boyscouts) came and they were not allowed to play with guns. Ds heard the no said to one of the boys and put all guns away. Then they all shot each other with their fingers! LOL.

 

My boys play with toy guns (and nerf swords and light sabers), but I do see why a parent might get flaky on this.

 

We have had a similar situation at our park day. Some moms are okay with light sabers and Nerf guns, some aren't. Just showing up with either without warning caused grief, even if you brought plenty to share. We talked and agreed that some days would be designated "Nerf" or "light saber" days, and posted an appropriate warning on our Yahoo group. Not into that kind of thing? Skip park that day. You may not have a mechamism like that, but it might be appropriate for you to approach the parents out of earshot of the kids and ask before the guns come out.

 

Sounds like having a toy to share is very beneficial to your DS. Is there something else he could bring? Balls (ball tag with Nerf balls is fun) or something similar?

 

We have tried a lot of things, and I'm open to more ideas, but balls have not worked for ds. Swords make the kids hit and someone gets hurt. He can't yet ride a bike. He has brought hot wheel cars, but that's not nearly as active and they like to race them up the slide where some poor child is trying to come down. They need to run and be kids, but tag alone never works well.

[Chris in VA]

Ah, well, maybe the parent doesn't want to be the only one saying no, because one no means nobody can play.

There isn't a good solution that will make everyone satisfied, but maybe that is really ok. It's sort of "life," isn't it?

I'm glad to hear you are sensitive to those with other ideas; what a fine lesson to teach your son.

[5kidsforME]

It actually made a big stink - he had to get 4 or 5 staples and a bunch of stitches as it cracked his skull. But luckily my parents defended me when I explained WHY I did it.

 

And I totally agree about the story with your nephew - that would be creepy.

 

Very odd. You didn't like that fact that he was pointing a FAKE toy gun at you so you hit him over the head with a metal lunchbox that ended up with him having to get stiches.

 

And your parents were fine with it.

 

You seem to be anti gun but not anti violence. Interesting.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Ah, well, maybe the parent doesn't want to be the only one saying no, because one no means nobody can play.

There isn't a good solution that will make everyone satisfied, but maybe that is really ok. It's sort of "life," isn't it?

I'm glad to hear you are sensitive to those with other ideas; what a fine lesson to teach your son.

 

Usually it's not a huge deal, but there are 2 specific times we've had a problem.

 

One was this little girl who came to the park after everyone was running around with guns. The little girl found one and joined the game. The mother never said a single thing to the girl, just sat at the table whining that she doesn't really like guns and wishes her daughter wouldn't play with them. But she also said kids will be kids, so I didn't know if she wanted me to do something. Again, never asked her daughter not to touch, never told me directy that her daughter was not to touch.

 

And yesterday's was a woman with 2 boys who just kept saying the father didn't really like them, but no answer for playing.

 

It's easy when there is a firm no. Ds asks, parent says no, ds says ok and that's that.

 

I know we're never going to please everyone, but accepting a no (or following another parent's rule of no head aiming) is another way his social skills have increased. :001_smile:

 

Now if only he would follow some of *my* rules not related to toy guns, life would be happier!

[ktgrok]

I think it depends on the family values. If you asked me that, my answer would be no it's not okay. Our family rule is there is no such thing as a "toy" gun, all guns weather toy or not are weapons and to be considered as such. We also teach that a gun is to be considered loaded until proven not to be, and given the proper behavior accorded to a loaded gun. We also teach never to point a gun, even a toy, at anything living including people.

 

I actually ended up hitting my cousin over this when I was a kid - he had a toy gun and kept pointing it at me. After his dad ignored me asking politely for him to stop pointing it at me for the 5th time, I bonked him on the head with a metal strawberry shortcake lunchbox. He learned his lesson and never pointed a toy gun at me again.

 

But I know that's a minority POV nowdays.

 

I think the OP was totally fine with people telling her no. She was upset when they wouldn't say no, but then got upset about it.

[ktgrok]

It actually made a big stink - he had to get 4 or 5 staples and a bunch of stitches as it cracked his skull. But luckily my parents defended me when I explained WHY I did it.

 

And I totally agree about the story with your nephew - that would be creepy.

 

ok...this seems weird to me. The toy gun was a toy weapon that couldn't hurt anyone. The lunch box was used as an acutal weapon that could and did cause serious injury. Why is using an actual weapon to cause injury ok with you and your parents but the toy weapon that didn't hurt anyone wasn't ok, and was worth getting a possible concussion and such over?

[5kidsforME]

ok...this seems weird to me. The toy gun was a toy weapon that couldn't hurt anyone. The lunch box was used as an acutal weapon that could and did cause serious injury. Why is using an actual weapon to cause injury ok with you and your parents but the toy weapon that didn't hurt anyone wasn't ok, and was worth getting a possible concussion and such over?

 

 

:iagree: That's what I thought.

[Chris in VA]

Maybe it's a case of the parent not wanting to deal with disappointing her little darling. A lot of parents don't say "no" b/c they are uncomfortable seeing their child having to deal with not getting what they want. I had to grow out of that.

You are totally right about accepting "no." It is a crucial skill. Placating our kiddos because we can't handle their anger/disappointment/sadness/whatever is BAD parenting, imo, and sets them up for trouble. Allowing things that we really don't want to because we don't want to deal with their reaction to NO sets US up for feeling resentment/anger, and that's also a difficult place to parent from.

[5forMe]

I allow my kids to have and play with toy guns, swords, light sabers, etc.

 

That said, I wouldn't take these toys to the park. To me, this is the sort of controversial thing I don't want to deal with complete strangers.

 

I think parents who are wishy washy about it are probably surprised and don't know how to react at first. In my opinion, it is putting them in an odd situation.

[Tess in the Burbs]

We always take ours to the park and usually boys have some too. I do tell my son not to bring the large Williamsburg wooden rifle replica. It seems to bother parents.

 

but this week at the park our homeschool group was reprimanded at the park for playing tag. :001_huh: The other parents of kids there kept coming over and complaining about everything our group of kids were doing. And without guns. I imagine if they had the guns that week it would have been an awful scene, :tongue_smilie: So yes some parents need to just say no and stay away :lol:

[magnificent_baby]

My kids play with toy guns at home. But I would never take them to the park. We bring a soccer ball, frisbie or football if we take anything. There seems to be plenty for my kids to do at a park, without having to bring something that others may not agree with or kids arguing over if there is not enough to go around.

[oldskool]

I allow my kids to have and play with toy guns, swords, light sabers, etc.

 

That said, I wouldn't take these toys to the park. To me, this is the sort of controversial thing I don't want to deal with complete strangers.

 

I think parents who are wishy washy about it are probably surprised and don't know how to react at first. In my opinion, it is putting them in an odd situation.

 

:iagree:

 

I think it is odd to put other people in this position when they may be trying to just have a day at the park with their kids. I would hate to be the parent who ruined the fun for all of the others.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

The fun is never ruined!

 

Ds is very delayed, both in his language and social skills. One day we went to the park right after he got a new gun. I let him play with it because he used to keep to himself. Within 5 minutes of walking into the park, my son was TALKING to other kids! They wanted to see his toy, wanted to know where he got it from, etc.

 

He went from parallel play at 6 years old to interacting, sharing, talking, compromising, and all because of a few toy guns. When he plays, he's usually the only kid without a gun. He'll be the zombie which means he constantly has to interact with everyone. He tolerates being captured and held in "prison" by a bunch of other kids. He knows how to solve the problem of not enough guns. The transformation is amazing.

 

When he is told no, he is comfortable enough to still play with other kids, just without the guns. I don't know why, but if he doesn't have any guns in the car, he's not as social.

 

The kids who can't play with guns are also the ones who can't sit in the dirt, collect leaves or rocks, climb up the slide, are yelled at for running, and are really not allowed to play at all. I don't mean this in a critical way, just my observations around here. The No kids are never at the park for more than 20 minutes.

[Jen500]

The kids who can't play with guns are also the ones who can't sit in the dirt, collect leaves or rocks, climb up the slide, are yelled at for running, and are really not allowed to play at all. I don't mean this in a critical way, just my observations around here. The No kids are never at the park for more than 20 minutes.

 

Ok, as I said earlier, my kids do play with guns at home or at friend's homes. We would not play with them at the park, and not with kids we don't really know.

My kids can sit in the dirt, run, play, yell. Just sayin.

[ktgrok]

:iagree:

 

I think it is odd to put other people in this position when they may be trying to just have a day at the park with their kids. I would hate to be the parent who ruined the fun for all of the others.

 

I've seen a few people say this and I admit I'm a bit confused...if one doesn't think guns are toys, and that fun can be had just as well without them, then how is it ruining the fun to be the one to say no, no guns please?

[frugalmama]

ok...this seems weird to me. The toy gun was a toy weapon that couldn't hurt anyone. The lunch box was used as an acutal weapon that could and did cause serious injury. Why is using an actual weapon to cause injury ok with you and your parents but the toy weapon that didn't hurt anyone wasn't ok, and was worth getting a possible concussion and such over?

 

Very odd. You didn't like that fact that he was pointing a FAKE toy gun at you so you hit him over the head with a metal lunchbox that ended up with him having to get stiches.

 

And your parents were fine with it.

 

You seem to be anti gun but not anti violence. Interesting.

 

At the time I was 4 or 5, and had been taught that there is no such thing as a toy gun. Said cousin was pointing it point blank at my face and saying bang bang which was really bothering me to the point of me being in tears and approaching a meltdown {I had undiagnosed Asperger's}. Dad was a gunsmith and we lived in a very rural part of the US where hunting is a constant activity. I grew up with guns around 24/7 and they were kept loaded, and to me he was pointing a pistol at me, not a toy gun because I was raised to believe that a toy gun is the same a real gun. I politely asked cousins father 5 times to get him to stop and said father ignored me knowing it was a family rule. I tried to just go somewhere else in the house and hide from cousin - he would not leave me alone. My parents raised me to defend myself when needed, and to me at age 5, this was an instance where I needed to defend myself to get him to stop. They were proud of me for making the decision that given no other alternative, I needed to defend myself. The metal lunchbox just happened to be the closest thing at the time when it got to be the last straw. I wasn't intending to hurt him, just to get him to stop.

[T'smom]

I think it's great that you've found something that helps develop his social skills! If my son was at the park, I would totally let him play with the guns. And he would be thrilled! (He has some nerf type guns, but no one to run around and shoot with him very often!)

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Ok, as I said earlier, my kids do play with guns at home or at friend's homes. We would not play with them at the park, and not with kids we don't really know.

My kids can sit in the dirt, run, play, yell. Just sayin.

 

You have never been one of the families at the park by us :tongue_smilie:.

 

I think it's great that you've found something that helps develop his social skills! If my son was at the park' date=' I would totally let him play with the guns. And he would be thrilled! (He has some nerf type guns, but no one to run around and shoot with him very often!)[/quote']

 

He would love a shooting buddy!

 

For those that think it puts the no parents in an uncomfortable situation, what if I remove the guns from the equation...

 

You come to the park and my ds is barefoot running around and jumping in the mud. Your child is not allowed to be barefoot at the park. Would you be uncomfortable telling your kid no and would I still be putting you in a bad situation? The difference in this case is that I still allow to play like this even if 20 other parents are againt their kids joining.

 

We keep the guns in the trunk next to the towels. :D

[In the Rain]

I wouldn't let my kids play with guns, and I still think it is great you found something that helps your son's social skills. :001_smile: I'm amazed at how well he handles "no" from other parents.

 

FWIW, I am fine with other kids playing guns at the park. Sometimes my girls have been upset over being a target, so I've asked kids not to "shoot" them. I'm nice about it though.

[woolybear]

:iagree:

 

How hard would it have been for the mom to simply say that her kids aren't allowed to play with toy guns? :confused: Either they are or they are not allowed to play with them, so why get all cryptic about it? :glare:

I think some people don't have a set rule about not playing with guns, just would rather their kids didn't or don't feel comfortable about it. At a park situation, parents often don't want to be the only one to not allow something or make their kid not be able to join in the group play. So, they might end up saying yes, but not really feeling comfortable about. Hence, the whining? Not a great response admittedly, but I'm just thinking it might go something like that.

[RoundAbout]

Its great that you've found something that works for your son, and I would totally let mine play. OTOH it is controversial in some places. Many of my friends are vaguely anti-gun and would probably be caught off guard by such an invitation and not know what to say. My own husband (Marine infantry officer for 15 years who believes in proper weapons training) was initially very against DS having any toy guns, or at least aiming them at people. We compromised and now allow toy guns if they are brightly colored and do not look realistic.

 

The only time I've been put out by a toy gun was when someone allowed their kid to bring one on a recent nature hike. Just seemed terribly inappropriate to the situation. Running around a playground sounds fun though.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

He is not allowed to have a gun that looks even slightly real. When my father bought him one that didn't fit my rules, I painted it green.

 

They're all orange, green, white (or a mix), dart-less or water-less.

[ssavings]

I, honestly, probably would have said okay but still felt uncomfortable. I would have allowed it so as to not ruin the game for all the other kids, but would have not liked the fact that my kids were playing with them. Wouldn't have whined about it, though.

I'm not, at all, anti-gun... just not big into them as toys.

Oh, but even though we're "no gun", my kids still play in the dirt, run around, climb on the slide, etc. :001_smile:

[magnificent_baby]

I have reread your post and just want to add something. Regarding the parents that are wishy-washy, maybe they are caught off guard by the situation? We go to the park all the time, and I have not ever seen anyone bring toy guns. I am also the type of person that has a hard time saying no when being put on the spot, and if I were uncomfortable with a situation, I might leave too. I do allow my kids to play with toy guns, but I do not like when they point directly at each other (especially the head). I also would not be comfortable correcting other people's children if this were occuring.

 

That is great that he has found something to help his social skills, but from my perspective, I would find something else to take that would be less likely to cause issues or cause people to leave after only a short amount of time.

[blondeviolin]

We have a somewhat similar issue occasionally, only not with guns. There is a Sonic here that has sand instead of that rubber flooring stuff. My kids love to go there because they love to play in the sand. (And it's outdoors so I don't have to eat there.) Sometimes we'll pack sand toys and bring plenty share. When we do this, I know we'll be there a while and they are going to be brown with dirt and sand afterwards.

 

Once, a family came and the mom told her daughter: "Don't touch the sand." That poor girl! The play structure is ON the sand. O.o. I can understand if you wanted her to keep her clothes nice for whatever reason...but if you pulled up and SAW it was sand, then why decide to stay? The mom was literally glaring at me as my three were building huge castles, covered in sand, and were having a gay old time.

 

I'm amazed at how often an instance like this happens at this park. If you don't like sand and don't like dirty, be the parent and drive away (or in your case, say no). It's not fair to keep that temptation there and grumble when your child wants to participate. Even further, it's not fair to put your child of this age in such a spot.

[Jen500]

We have a somewhat similar issue occasionally, only not with guns. There is a Sonic here that has sand instead of that rubber flooring stuff. My kids love to go there because they love to play in the sand. (And it's outdoors so I don't have to eat there.) Sometimes we'll pack sand toys and bring plenty share. When we do this, I know we'll be there a while and they are going to be brown with dirt and sand afterwards.

 

Once, a family came and the mom told her daughter: "Don't touch the sand." That poor girl! The play structure is ON the sand. O.o. I can understand if you wanted her to keep her clothes nice for whatever reason...but if you pulled up and SAW it was sand, then why decide to stay? The mom was literally glaring at me as my three were building huge castles, covered in sand, and were having a gay old time.

 

I'm amazed at how often an instance like this happens at this park. If you don't like sand and don't like dirty, be the parent and drive away (or in your case, say no). It's not fair to keep that temptation there and grumble when your child wants to participate. Even further, it's not fair to put your child of this age in such a spot.

 

I don't see how this is similar. The sand is already at the play area. The toy guns are not already at the park.

[blondeviolin]

I don't see how this is similar. The sand is already at the play area. The toy guns are not already at the park.

 

The OP said these situations happen whether if he's playing in mud or with guns. What do these parents do if there are no toy guns, but there are finger guns? As a parent, when you don't want your child to participate in an activity (whether sand-play, gun play, or dirty), you should stick to your rules. Additionally, it's not fair to your child if you don't.

[Jen500]

The OP said these situations happen whether if he's playing in mud or with guns. What do these parents do if there are no toy guns, but there are finger guns? As a parent, when you don't want your child to participate in an activity (whether sand-play, gun play, or dirty), you should stick to your rules. Additionally, it's not fair to your child if you don't.

 

ok, I was only thinking of the toy guns.

 

I've had a mom tell my kids to stop playing their imaginary game because it was scaring her child. Think my kids were talking about werewolves, it annoyed me because her child was about 3 yrs old and playing on the 6 yr old and over playground--there is a separate playground for 6 and under. Sorry for the little derail there..

[ChristineW]

I would be very upset if a 7 year old brought toy guns to the park to play. My kid would definitely not be allowed to play with the guns and if I saw the same kid with guns regularly, my kids would not be allowed to play with him. And I'd be very vocal about why.

 

Kids bring scooters, bikes, sand toys, all types of balls, kites, etc to the park but I've never seen a toy gun. The kids climb all over the structures pretending to be "fire rescue heroes:, mountain climbers, jungle adventurers and pretty much anything else you can imagine. The kids occasionally make a weapon out of a stick (usually to be a sword or light saber) but parents don't provide the weapons. Its probably more our local culture though b/c taking a nerf gun or even a water gun to the playground is pretty unthinkable.

 

Christine

[Whereneverever]

It could be the way they play with the guns, too. I live in a big gun ownership and hunting area. We own toy guns. My kids and the kids I know are never allowed to point them at another person. It's terrible gun etiquette and a lot of serious gun folks don't allow their kids to play with guns like that because it goes against the lessons taught about guns.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I would be very upset if a 7 year old brought toy guns to the park to play. My kid would definitely not be allowed to play with the guns and if I saw the same kid with guns regularly, my kids would not be allowed to play with him. And I'd be very vocal about why.

 

Kids bring scooters, bikes, sand toys, all types of balls, kites, etc to the park but I've never seen a toy gun. The kids climb all over the structures pretending to be "fire rescue heroes:, mountain climbers, jungle adventurers and pretty much anything else you can imagine. The kids occasionally make a weapon out of a stick (usually to be a sword or light saber) but parents don't provide the weapons. Its probably more our local culture though b/c taking a nerf gun or even a water gun to the playground is pretty unthinkable.

 

Christine

 

Since this started as a social opportunity, I would love if other kids tried to engage my son in a game that didn't involve guns!

 

Before banning play with my son, would you listen to his difficulties and have your kids try to include him?

 

He can't really ride his scooter well and is embarrassed (I assume) to bring it to the park. He wouldn't ever consider bringing his bike with training wheels. He also can't catch well enough to play anything ball related.

[MrsBasil]

I would be completely on board with mud and nerf gun tag, but climbing up the slide is no go in my book unless we have the park to ourselves. :D

 

 

You're never going to please everyone. I think the way you are handling things is wonderful and kind(and going above and beyond).

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I would be completely on board with mud and nerf gun tag, but climbing up the slide is no go in my book unless we have the park to ourselves. :D

 

Even this has a purpose! :D

 

You're never going to please everyone. I think the way you are handling things is wonderful and kind(and going above and beyond).

 

Thank you!

[MrsBasil]

I'm sure climbing up the slide has a purpose, sorry didn't mean to imply it was not a good activity! I remember doing that myself, but my own DS(who is 3) has yet to understand that he needs to look to see if someone else is coming down the slide. :tongue_smilie: For my own peace of mind and to keep him from being injured it's been banned until he has a better understanding.

[ChristineW]

Since this started as a social opportunity, I would love if other kids tried to engage my son in a game that didn't involve guns!

 

Before banning play with my son, would you listen to his difficulties and have your kids try to include him?

 

He can't really ride his scooter well and is embarrassed (I assume) to bring it to the park. He wouldn't ever consider bringing his bike with training wheels. He also can't catch well enough to play anything ball related.

 

My kid would politely tell him, No I don't play with guns and invite him to join in whatever activity he's already engaged in. If your son said no and didn't have a suggestion for what else to play, DS would go back to playing.

 

My girls love playing in the sand pits; DS not so much but he will build forts and such. Actually, he's pretty jealous that the three year old is getting an M&D ice cream and cookies sand toys for her birthday. Also, he loves racing barefoot across the sand volleyball pits and up and down the big hill (I prefer he wears shoes on the hill b/c of dog stuff but often I'm not fast enough to get his shoes back on him). Barefoot running is one of the best things about wide open spaces and our parks are kept pretty clean. Freeze tag is a great game and they love swings.

 

I keep towels and a spare set of clothes for days that the water sprinkler structures are on. On days that we don't have time to get wet, I don't get upset that their friends are soaked. Bigger kids climb on the structure in ways that I don't think are safe for my little ones but I don't get upset either (unless one of my kids gets trampled or shoved) Its a natural part of playing in the park. Guns aren't.

[katilac]

<snip> For those that think it puts the no parents in an uncomfortable situation, what if I remove the guns from the equation...

 

You come to the park and my ds is barefoot running around and jumping in the mud. Your child is not allowed to be barefoot at the park. Would you be uncomfortable telling your kid no and would I still be putting you in a bad situation? The difference in this case is that I still allow to play like this even if 20 other parents are againt their kids joining.

 

We keep the guns in the trunk next to the towels. :D

 

So annoying! When we were in a long 'princess' line at Disney, my girls amused themselves by drawing in the dirt and collecting acorns. The mom next to us was soooo mad, lol. She didn't want her lil' princess touching the dirt or twigs or acorns or any of that nasty nature stuff, and she was quite aggravated that I let my kids do it. She kept glaring at me while saying in a loud voice, "Don't touch the dirt, that's DISGUSTING!"

 

And yep, I've also had unhappy looks and comments at parks and such when I choose to let my kids go barefoot, jump in the mud, or whatever.

 

ChristineW, I think it's fine to say, No, we don't allow our kids to play with guns but it's quite rude to be "very vocal" about why. I personally would never have allowed my toddlers to drink Coca-cola, but when it was offered, I simply declined politely, with no nutritional diatribe. We all know quite well we aren't going to 'convert' someone on the spot by being vocal about their parenting choices, in fact they are more likely to dig in their heels, so why do it?

 

Live and let live, people. Play and let play. Grow a pair and tell your own kids "no" without being offended that other people are telling their kids "yes."

[katilac]

I'm sure climbing up the slide has a purpose <snip>

 

It does! It offers a physical challenge, which is hard to find in today's overly safe parks. Most are designed in an attempt to eliminate any possible bump or bruise, to the point that they don't inspire phsyical play when used as intended.

[GraciebytheBay]

I am not anti-gun, but I would be uncomfortable with this and would probably be the one to hem and haw because I would be put on the spot. When my kids were younger, going to the park was a time for them to get tired out, not hyped up. When they played games like the one you describe, they ended up being more aggressive than they were before they arrived, and it took them a while to calm down.

 

I will say that I expected my kids to play at the park with outdoor voices and run around like kids will do and I greatly enjoyed watching them do this, usually while reading a book intermittently. For them to play with weapons with kids I don't know, that would mean I'd have to watch them every second, listen to a lot of screaming and shooting noises, then take home some aggressive kids. Not fun, when I was planning to have a nice day at the park. Do you see what I mean?

Edited March 16, 2012 by GraciebytheBay
typo

[katilac]

It could be the way they play with the guns, too. I live in a big gun ownership and hunting area. We own toy guns. My kids and the kids I know are never allowed to point them at another person. It's terrible gun etiquette and a lot of serious gun folks don't allow their kids to play with guns like that because it goes against the lessons taught about guns.

 

This makes sense to me in a way, but I have never seen kids play with guns that way (my own were never interested, so I never really thought about it). I live in a big gun/hunting area, and the kids definitely point play guns at each other, cops & robbers and such.

 

What do they do with them if they don't point them at each other? Do they pretend to hunt, or is the bad guy always a pretend person?

 

What about lazer tag and paintball? Allowed or not?