NanceXToo Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 The baby I hope to conceive a few months from now (keep your fingers crossed please that it happens) is already reading at college level. I don't even know what to do about this situation. How can I possibly supply enough books for this super genius fetus-to-be? What should we read next? Did your children all read well before they were conceived? If not, they should have been. I guess my preconceptions are smarter than your preconceptions. This board is crazy tonight. Why HAVEN'T I seen a good kilt pic yet? :lurk5: :cheers2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Researcher Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 You poor thing. *hugs* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 :lol: It's just a bit of SPRING FEVER! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissad2 Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Haven't you heard? There is a great new program just released, Homeschooling-in-utero. Supposedly they come out chanting Latin declensions, writing in cursive, and potty trained. Everyone loves it, they say it's perfect, it was just released today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Of course, my grandchildren-to-be are working on their doctorates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 You must be posting this because you are jealous that my 16mo caught a chicken and none of your 16mos have caught chickens yet. Well, don't worry. With a little flashcard work and some chicken video watching, I am sure little Fetus will be a great chicken catcher too. My 16mo peed in the bathtub tonight. Maybe little Fetus will be able to do that too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 My youngest is 6. Do you think it's too late for him? Anyone selling this used? Anyone? Helloooo.... There might be a remedial course, it's such a shame. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted March 14, 2012 Author Share Posted March 14, 2012 Oh pulease. You aren't reading to your ovaries at this point? Your kid is pathetically behind. So don't worry, your kid will be dumb and neglected like the rest of them. :( I was afraid of that. Maybe there's a center I can take my ovaries to where someone can show me special flash cards and lists or something. Haven't you heard? There is a great new program just released, Homeschooling-in-utero. Supposedly they come out chanting Latin declensions, writing in cursive, and potty trained. Everyone loves it, they say it's perfect, it was just released today. Nice! I hope it comes in a Teaching Textbooks type format, where I can just set my uterus up at the computer, because, you know, I don't have time to do that stuff myself. hehe. Of course, my grandchildren-to-be are working on their doctorates. Cr*p. I was feeling good about myself. Now I feel like a real slacker. Well, this board will do that to you. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennynd Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 I think you should start him/her calculus :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted March 14, 2012 Author Share Posted March 14, 2012 No, seriously though, I'm pretty sure if I read to my ovaries every day for six hours a day before I ever conceive, by the time I do conceive, my kid will be able to read like as soon as it implants. I won't ever have to deal with Funnix, Reading Eggs, 100 Easy Lessons, none of this nonsense. I'll be able to spend all of my time eating bon bons while my fetus reads at a college level by the time its born. I have a plan, people. And if everybody just followed it, we'd never even need schools at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brindee Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Oh yes, all of mine were reading at above college level before they were conceived! Of course! Weren't everyone's???! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brindee Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 You want to know my secret? ....brace yourself Lucky Charms and Jelly Belly jelly beans I ate those like they were going out of style because nothing else would stay down. My kids are freaking geniuses. Ok...you know...at least to me...(once they pull the french fries out of their noses and stuff). :tongue_smilie: Really, that worked? Cool! My secrets were burritoes, salad and hot fudge sundaes. Worked like a charm!!! Wait, they're not s'posed to have french fries in their noses? :001_huh: I thought that was part of the super-genius creativity! :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Start ripping up the closest Shakespeare and Calc book you can find and start swallowing them ASAP. It isn't too late! :lol: (crossing fingers on TTC AND for super, duper low maintenance genius baby for you!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Oh pulease. You aren't reading to your ovaries at this point? Your kid is pathetically behind. So don't worry, your kid will be dumb and neglected like the rest of them. I messed up with my kids and didn't read to them until after they were born. I have accepted that they're behind for life, so I've given up on them and started a strict reading and academic regimen for my future grandchildren's eggs. The side benefit is that my own children (poor things) seem to be picking up a bit of it here and there through overhearing, in spite of my failings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 So the baby is reading only in English? Don't worry...I suppose there's time to refine her Latin and French once she's born. I'm sure she'll catch up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Well, that seals it, Nance. I have been suspecting for years that you were a troll, and now we know for sure. ;) And maybe you're also "just a Dad." :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 You might consider forming a support group. At least perhaps you could save someone else from this tragic mistake. :grouphug: That is such a brilliant idea. If even one future life can be changed by this kind of selflessness and generosity, it will all be worthwhile. :tongue_smilie: And we'll also be needing a 12-Step Program to help the Moms Who Were Too Dumb to Know Any Better, because I'm sure the guilt is overwhelming. Even clueless moms need our support.** **We can still make fun of them behind their backs, but when we see them in person, we have to be really nice to them and pretend we care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Boo is finishing up medical school next wk! He's a neurosurgeon, and is also getting a PhD in physics as a hobby. How quickly they grow up. *sniffle* (and obviously, I've missed some threads...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 I would just like to point out that no one has mentioned ovarian science training! Shame on all of you! Honestly, I don't think we could accept such an undereducated egg into our 4-H club...afterall, how would we ever got such a fetus to complete a level one rocket, launch it, and calculate it's altitude and trajectory! :toetap05: I'm seriously appalled at the lack of science education you are all neglecting with your ovaries! :biggrinjester: Oh, and dh is reading over my shoulder and suggests that should any of you enroll your uteruses in online courses, you would be well advised to TURN YOUR WEB CAMS OFF!! :lol: Faith - Yeah, okay...I shouldn't let dh read the board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Oh yes, all of mine were reading at above college level before they were conceived! Of course! Weren't everyone's???! :lol: :lol: :lol: I ate ice cream the entire time I was pregnant, hence the reason he is so.sweet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 (and obviously, I've missed some threads...) Me too! Anyone want to fill me in? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Oh, and dh is reading over my shoulder and suggests that should any of you enroll your uteruses in online courses, you would be well advised to TURN YOUR WEB CAMS OFF!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Excellent advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 For the discerning egg educator, you will need one of these so your egg can sit properly for penmanship! Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 LMAO I'm gonna go watch American Idol to dumb myself down (feel free to make fun of me...). Thread started :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Thread started :D But not nearly finished................ :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 (edited) I don't know which sends me into more inner torment, that my left ovary is neurotypical or my right ovary supremely gifted. Can I read them both the same books? Edited March 15, 2012 by Sis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 This is my favorite thread of the day!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 I don't know which sends me into more inner torment, that my left ovary is neurotypical or my right ovary supremely gifted. Can I read them both the same books? :lol::lol::lol: I don't even know what's going on here. I've been away from home almost all day and my Beast Academy books came today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nukeswife Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 :lol::lol: That is a terrible situation to be in. My only suggestion is to see if you can get some college textbooks as audio versions and strap some headphones on your belly to start pumping that information in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 I don't know which sends me into more inner torment, that my left ovary is neurotypical or my right ovary supremely gifted. Can I read them both the same books? Yes. They'll just be functioning at different levels on Bloom's Taxonomy. Don't be surprised if seems like they heard different books. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizaG Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 I don't know which sends me into more inner torment, that my left ovary is neurotypical or my right ovary supremely gifted. Can I read them both the same books? Ovaries are usually within 10 IQ points of each other. Your left one is probably gifted as well, but twice exceptional. Have you considered OT? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
treestarfae Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 You asked for it! http://www.raise-a-genius.com/pregnancy.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 It's a little late to start thinking about it now. :001_huh::tongue_smilie::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Actually, they can perform science experiments in there. Egg meets sp*rm and all that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Ovaries are usually within 10 IQ points of each other. Your left one is probably gifted as well, but twice exceptional. Have you considered OT? Too funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Actually, they can perform science experiments in there. Egg meets sp*rm and all that. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Actually, they can perform science experiments in there. Egg meets sp*rm and all that. There are also many life lessons you can pull from that as they recall the moment of their inception. 1. It take many men to attempt a job, but just one woman to get it done 2. I can't come up with number 2, number 1 kind of sums it up anyway. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Ooh, this is like a unit study! Science, s*x education, life lessons, and I'm sure there are more ways those fetuses can pack more learning in. Nine months is a whole school year! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 My great-great-grandchild has won her second Nobel Peace Prize!!! Not a slacker though by any means as she's already hard at work on her third. :) Sounds like I've missed some fun here! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klwhelan Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Oh my! I have been lurking for a week or so, but just joined tonight (hi everyone) and all I can say is that you guys are awesome. Laughing my butt off here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wapiti Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Please everyone, do spread the word about ovarian education. Together we will save the world. Ovaries are usually within 10 IQ points of each other. Your left one is probably gifted as well, but twice exceptional. Have you considered OT? :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Only a college level? You poor dear, you really will need all the help you can get. I would loan you our PhD textbooks my children used pre-conception, but you would probably have to read TO them, so it may not do you any good. Best wishes. The baby I hope to conceive a few months from now (keep your fingers crossed please that it happens) is already reading at college level. I don't even know what to do about this situation. How can I possibly supply enough books for this super genius fetus-to-be? What should we read next? Did your children all read well before they were conceived? If not, they should have been. I guess my preconceptions are smarter than your preconceptions. This board is crazy tonight. Why HAVEN'T I seen a good kilt pic yet? :lurk5: :cheers2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfside Academy Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 I think Apple has an app for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Haven't you heard? There is a great new program just released, Homeschooling-in-utero. Supposedly they come out chanting Latin declensions, writing in cursive, and potty trained. Everyone loves it, they say it's perfect, it was just released today. Figures. No outlets for socialization. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizaG Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Figures. No outlets for socialization. That's why I timed my fertility cycle to make sure we'd have sextuplet's. Not only are they highly intelligent, they are already best friend's. Their names are Ashlyn (DD), Brittany (DD), Caleb (DS), Daniel (DS), and, um, I forget the rest. But it's true, I promise. They are so advanced that they're already tutoring my older children by hiccuping in Morse code. (I wish I had time to write more, but we're in the middle of putting in an offer on an 80 room house on the coast where we'll live with my husband the tree surgeon and his collection of kilt's.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 I have to admit, my babies were not big readers pre-conception. They were just so into multivariable calculus at that point that reading wasn't a priority for them. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awisha. Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Oh for goodness sake ladies!!!! I'm laughing out loud and my poor dh keeps giving me funny looks :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted March 15, 2012 Author Share Posted March 15, 2012 I messed up with my kids and didn't read to them until after they were born. I have accepted that they're behind for life, so I've given up on them and started a strict reading and academic regimen for my future grandchildren's eggs. The side benefit is that my own children (poor things) seem to be picking up a bit of it here and there through overhearing, in spite of my failings. :grouphug: It's okay. At least you learned from your mistakes and you're looking out for your grandchildren. How are they anyway? Booking any Disney trips for them yet? All the good grandparents do that, I hear (I know, I know, it's hard to think of time away from their studies when they're SO advanced, but you HAVE to, you know. There's gotta be a balance)! So the baby is reading only in English? Don't worry...I suppose there's time to refine her Latin and French once she's born. I'm sure she'll catch up. I'm sick of educational snobbery like this around here. I've decided for personal reasons that we will NOT do second languages pre-conception. You can push YOUR embryos as hard as you want, I'm perfectly content with the fact that mine is reading- IN ENGLISH- at college level before s/he is even conceived. :P Well, that seals it, Nance. I have been suspecting for years that you were a troll, and now we know for sure. ;) And maybe you're also "just a Dad." Hmmm...what gave it away so I know for next time? I should have said s/he was reading at an 8th grade level instead of college level, right? You might consider forming a support group. At least perhaps you could save someone else from this tragic mistake. :grouphug: This is a good idea!! Boo is finishing up medical school next wk! He's a neurosurgeon, and is also getting a PhD in physics as a hobby. How quickly they grow up. *sniffle* (and obviously, I've missed some threads...) Aw. He's smart! If my preconception is a girl, maybe they should meet! I would just like to point out that no one has mentioned ovarian science training! Shame on all of you! Honestly, I don't think we could accept such an undereducated egg into our 4-H club...afterall, how would we ever got such a fetus to complete a level one rocket, launch it, and calculate it's altitude and trajectory! :toetap05: I'm seriously appalled at the lack of science education you are all neglecting with your ovaries! Oh, and dh is reading over my shoulder and suggests that should any of you enroll your uteruses in online courses, you would be well advised to TURN YOUR WEB CAMS OFF!! :lol: Faith - Yeah, okay...I shouldn't let dh read the board. LMAO I love this 4H post...and your husband's advice!! I don't know which sends me into more inner torment, that my left ovary is neurotypical or my right ovary supremely gifted. Can I read them both the same books? I would take them both to Kumon. My great-great-grandchild has won her second Nobel Peace Prize!!! Not a slacker though by any means as she's already hard at work on her third. :) Sounds like I've missed some fun here! Impressive!! I have to admit' date=' my babies were not big readers pre-conception. They were just so into multivariable calculus at that point that reading wasn't a priority for them.[/quote'] Well, that's understandable. Maybe your kids can tutor my ovaries in math? It would be nice if they could be born at least knowing their multiplication tables or something, I'm not going to expect really high level math, I mean, I can't have my pi and eat it too, but I don't want to have to do Times Tales again, it was a little annoying the first time around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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