Do you push reading when they're young?

[Jen Becker]

My daughter is 4.5 (5 in early May, would be starting K in the fall) and I need some advice on what to do about reading instruction with her. I taught myself to read at age 4-5 and always stayed ahead of what school was trying to teach me, so I don't have any personal experience on how to handle if/when direct reading instruction is needed.

 

Right now she can nearly always sound out CVC words (occasional misses of vowel sounds), easy initial/ending blend words, and recognizes the Dolch pre-primer sight words and a few of the primer sight words.

 

However, getting her to USE these skills is a struggle. She doesn't want to read! This is inconceivable to me, and I find it really frustrating! Every once in a while I can get her to sit down with a reader, but it's a rare thing. We have Bob books, HoP readers, Biscuit phonics readers, tons of Level 1 readers..... anything I can find that she is _capable_ of reading, I'll pick up to try to inspire her to read.

 

I'm trying to tell myself to chill out and back off and let it come to her.... but since she's my first, it's hard for me to do that and just trust that it will come. It feels weird to homeschool math and handwriting and science and NOT reading.

 

What do I do? Do I keep trying different readers and methods and worksheets and actively try to move her forward? Or do I drop it and back off?

[Night Elf]

However, getting her to USE these skills is a struggle. She doesn't want to read! This is inconceivable to me, and I find it really frustrating!

 

And this is your answer. She does NOT want to read, therefore she is NOT ready to learn. I'm sorry you are frustrated but this is not about you. Don't push your expectations onto her. You will make her hate reading and that will hurt you more in the long run.

[Melinda in VT]

At 4.5, I offered reading time and coaxed a little, but didn't push through absolute resistance.

 

Now that we are at 6.5, I insist on 15 mins a day.

[ssavings]

No, I don't push it. I provide the materials (books, reading games, wooden/magnetic letters, etc.) and gently encourage ("would you like to play with these magnetic letters with me?"). DS4 has known his letter sounds since he was 2, but doesn't want to read - he'd rather be read to. So, we do that alot.

[Mommy22alyns]

No, I would absolutely not push it. Sylvia was like that early on; she could read but didn't want to. I did not push her at all, I just backed off.

[AdventureMoms]

Not at 4.5, no. My DD is hot and cold on reading. Sometimes she's super into learning to read and we do lots, and sometimes she's just not. She's almost 4, knows her letter sounds and can do a little blending (though not well) and a handful of sightwords. Right now she's begging for reading eggs, reading lessons, reading practice, and reading games. All of them, every day. But three weeks ago she didn't want anything to do with it. I read to her a lot, and gently encourage, but I can't see forcing it at 3 or 4 or even 5.

[HiddenJewel]

My dd#2 didn't even start to pick up reading until 2nd grade. Now 15, she reads like crazy. So, no, I would not push her to read.

[NanceXToo]

No. I want reading to be enjoyable and fun, not a battle or something to be resisted or fought over, or something that causes tension or frustration (for my children OR for me). I love reading too much for that, and I want it to be a pleasant shared experience. If that means waiting an extra year or two until the time is right, so be it. No way would I fight with a four or five year old over it. (My son turned 6 in November and he's quite happily and successfully learning to read now with a combination of Funnix and Reading Eggs- especially Reading Eggs, he loves that website! Last year he had very little interest in learning and there was no way I was willing to fight over it).

[stripe]

Wait.

[Guest submarines]

No. There are no advantages to pushing early reading.

[Alessandra]

if I could make a suggestion -- look at Jim Trelease's Read-Aloud Handbook. Many people would argue that a great way to improve children's reading skills is to read aloud to them.

 

Other advice I've been given is tp provide dc with lots of experiences -- so that when they read about elephants, they have already seen elephants....

[Jen Becker]

Thanks, guys. That's the answer I _know_, but second guess. Having this thread to review will help when the people around me start talking up all their reading programs.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Ok, I'll go against the grain. I would absolutely do reading daily. Probably twice, maybe three times. It may only be five minutes at a time; but there are a few reasons I would absolutely do it. First, I think reading is that important. Second, even if your kid is going to be a late reader (I doubt it from what you wrote), they have to have the foundation on which to do it eventually. Third, I had a late reader and it will never again be because of what I may not have done as late reading can be EXTREMELY hard on a child; the lessons learned from that don't necessarily go away. This is not the case for every child, but it most certainly is for some; and you can't tell at 4 or 7 if it will be true for your child. Never will I be party to that again even if my intentions were good. Fourth, plugging through things systematically is a good life skill AND value. Fifth, education is not optional. It sets a bad precedent to allow kids to pick and choose unless that is your style and method. However, if you *want* the child to do 5 minutes of reading twice daily, then she needs to do so. Period.

 

Anyway, I realize she is four and I would be very gentle, keep it fun, keep it short, etc. But there is NO doubt that I would encourage her to be learning and/or practicing skills a little each day.

[myfatherslily]

My daughter is 4.5 (5 in early May, would be starting K in the fall) and I need some advice on what to do about reading instruction with her. I taught myself to read at age 4-5 and always stayed ahead of what school was trying to teach me, so I don't have any personal experience on how to handle if/when direct reading instruction is needed.

 

Right now she can nearly always sound out CVC words (occasional misses of vowel sounds), easy initial/ending blend words, and recognizes the Dolch pre-primer sight words and a few of the primer sight words.

 

However, getting her to USE these skills is a struggle. She doesn't want to read! This is inconceivable to me, and I find it really frustrating! Every once in a while I can get her to sit down with a reader, but it's a rare thing. We have Bob books, HoP readers, Biscuit phonics readers, tons of Level 1 readers..... anything I can find that she is _capable_ of reading, I'll pick up to try to inspire her to read.

 

I'm trying to tell myself to chill out and back off and let it come to her.... but since she's my first, it's hard for me to do that and just trust that it will come. It feels weird to homeschool math and handwriting and science and NOT reading.

 

What do I do? Do I keep trying different readers and methods and worksheets and actively try to move her forward? Or do I drop it and back off?

 

I felt exactly the same with my DD at that age! I do feel that I pushed her and we had some unnecessary drama as a result. If I had a do-over, I would still have her read to me a few times a week. I just wouldn't ask her to read as much.

Drop the Bob Books and other readers for now and have her read maybe 5 words per practice day. Even just 1 word is okay! When she's comfortable with that and not feeling pressured or overwhelmed by the amount, try adding in a few more words or a two-word phrase. I've found with my two reading children that a list of 5 words is much easier than a sentence of 3 words. Reading the words and stringing them together into a concept are separate skills. :)

[Alte Veste Academy]

Don't push it. It is normal for kids to ebb and flow in their desire to read. Is your DD strong-willed? If she is, I promise you that this is a power struggle that you do not want to start with her because she will win. If she wins a power struggle about reading, you both lose in the end. I agree with the suggestion of Trelease's Read-Aloud Handbook. Keep reading to her. Make it a joy, not a chore. Do not get frustrated. Do not bribe (reading is its own reward!). Do not refuse to read to her if she doesn't read to you first. Don't punish her or make her feel forced. Barring organic issues (which would seem odd, since she's already begun reading at 4), she will come around if she loves books!

[Alte Veste Academy]

This is inconceivable to me, and I find it really frustrating!

 

I will also say :lol: about the inconceivable bit. DD is exactly like me as a child. EXACTLY! The good, the bad, and the ugly. But I recognize and can relate to that good, bad, and ugly. Half the things the boys do are inconceivable to me, but their preferences and personalities are equally valid. The boys are just not my mini-me like DD is. At the same time, half of what DD does is inconceivable to DH. He can't relate to her quirks like I can, although he's blessed by the practice of dealing with me for 20 year. :lol: Kids are going to be who they are going to be and (with the usual caveats of nothing immoral, illegal, etc. :tongue_smilie:), it's OK.

[linders]

Don't push.

 

Do tons and tons of readalouds, really good stories. And read Bob books or whatever out loud to her, every once in a while pausing to ask, "I wonder what that word is?" You can push learning to read early for most kids, but to instill a joy in reading you need to just...read to them.

 

And one day you'll be reading a book out loud and need to stop and she'll pick it up and read because she wants to know how it ends.

[catz]

And this is your answer. She does NOT want to read, therefore she is NOT ready to learn. I'm sorry you are frustrated but this is not about you. Don't push your expectations onto her. You will make her hate reading and that will hurt you more in the long run.

 

:iagree: I'd just read to her. Let her see the words as you read them. Continue playing alphabet games, etc. Some kid's eyes can't track text that early. My kids didn't really read fluently until 5 despite doing CVC words and knowing alphabet stuff forever. Both jumped 5+ grade levels in reading in a matter of months. I never did explicit instruction before then. She'll do it when she's ready. :001_smile::grouphug: I would sit with her and read books every day but I'd way a while for pushing.

[SKL]

In that fact pattern, I would not push her to read a reading text, but I would try to encourage her to get interested when I am reading to her. I would select some books that lend themselves to "reading together" and some that have easy, repetitive language (but not stilted like a preprimer). Try to get her to point out or talk about what she sees in the pictures, and occasionally encourage her to call out a word that she knows, but don't try to push it to what you "know she is capable of." If she resists, just read the words for her and move on so that the book is enjoyed.

[Jennifer in MI]

Heehee. Same here. I taught myself to read at 3 1/2.

 

My first two boys learned to read by 6.

 

My third? I thought he'd be my early reader. Nope. He was sounding out CVC words at 3. There was NO motivation for him to read beyond that. He didn't learn to read fluently until 7 1/2 when he received a Webkinz. He had to read to participate on line! Motivation!

 

My fourth taught herself to read (yes - taught herself! Finally. A child like me!) at 4. Woohoo!!!!

 

All that to say that I wish I would have relaxed about my third. He is the same with ALL of his schoolwork. If HE isn't motivated to learn it, he won't. So, I help him find the motivation or I give up and wait for him to find it. Oftentimes, it's his friends that motivate him. (Poor kid couldn't write well enough to participate in a game all the kids were playing when we were on vacation once. That motivated him the next year!!! He writes well now.)

 

Is there anything your dd is passionate about? Does she like to go to on line sites that would encourage reading? Are Webkinz still around? What about American Girl? My dd has a whole virtual world set up there.

 

Good luck!!!

[Mrs Twain]

Ok, I'll go against the grain. I would absolutely do reading daily. Probably twice, maybe three times. It may only be five minutes at a time; but there are a few reasons I would absolutely do it. First, I think reading is that important. Second, even if your kid is going to be a late reader (I doubt it from what you wrote), they have to have the foundation on which to do it eventually. Third, I had a late reader and it will never again be because of what I may not have done as late reading can be EXTREMELY hard on a child; the lessons learned from that don't necessarily go away. This is not the case for every child, but it most certainly is for some; and you can't tell at 4 or 7 if it will be true for your child. Never will I be party to that again even if my intentions were good. Fourth, plugging through things systematically is a good life skill AND value. Fifth, education is not optional. It sets a bad precedent to allow kids to pick and choose unless that is your style and method. However, if you *want* the child to do 5 minutes of reading twice daily, then she needs to do so. Period.

 

Anyway, I realize she is four and I would be very gentle, keep it fun, keep it short, etc. But there is NO doubt that I would encourage her to be learning and/or practicing skills a little each day.

 

:iagree: I second everything Pamela said.

 

I began teaching my kids to read starting at 4.5 at the latest. My oldest was 4.5 when he started to read, and he learned even though he wasn't very interested. My youngest was 3.5 when she started because she was extremely self-motivated to learn.

 

Reading is a very difficult skill to learn. In my experience it takes disciplined, consistent work and practice. The point at which a person becomes proficient at reading is the point at which reading becomes fun and enjoyable. All of my kids now *love* reading. They are all voracious readers and far ahead of grade level.

 

I agree with Pamela that keeping reading lessons short is one of the keys to teaching young kids. I usually worked on reading for 10 minutes, or maybe 15 minutes at the most per day. Every time one of my kids finished 25 lessons of 100 EZ, I took him or her out to buy a special gift. Because reading is such a difficult skill to learn, I wanted to reward my kids for their hard work and perseverance.

 

I disagree with the statement that early reading makes no difference. Early reading is the most significant factor which helps children excel in academics.

 

I strongly agree with Pamela's fifth point. Reading is not optional or dependent on what the child feels like doing. I would not consider it acceptable if my children did not feel like doing math or writing or any other required subject.

 

Sorry to sound like a drill sargeant here, but I just wanted to share that many people disagree with the common "just wait until they feel like it" timeframe for teaching reading.

[Hilltop]

if I could make a suggestion -- look at Jim Trelease's Read-Aloud Handbook. Many people would argue that a great way to improve children's reading skills is to read aloud to them.

 

Other advice I've been given is tp provide dc with lots of experiences -- so that when they read about elephants, they have already seen elephants....

:iagree: I would spend lots of time enjoying books together.

[JenniferLynn]

I wouldn't push, but I would consider the timing of a lesson and length of a lesson.

 

I started DD5.5 when she was just turned 4. She never asked, but I would regularly but casually just do it (some bit of OPGTR). It was always very short. 3-5 minutes. Sometimes we would do it several times a day, sometimes not for a week if she was really not into it. She finished OPGTR by age 5 and could read complex sentences but her stamina was low. We never made it through more than 1 or 2 of the sentence examples in any OPGTR lesson.

 

Now I'm at it again with 3.5 YO twins. DS3 is very eager to read, but still has little stamina for it. Several short, short lessons are better than anything over 5 minutes.

[livingmydream]

My daughter just turned 7. She is super smart and was recognizing letters sounds at age 3. I thought for sure she would be an early reader and was so excited to teach her. She would get so frustrated and cry and I think I pushed a little too much at age 4.5 and then when K came around she had no desire to read. Now we are doing 1st grade and she is finally starting to read. But slowly. I would just spend lots of time reading books and maybe nonchalantly point to the letters/words and see what happens!

[momtoamiracle]

I wouln't push, but I'd continue to read aloud and present reading opportunities to her. Word games, puzzles, matching games - all those will help strengthen her abilities. Also, starfall.com and pbskids.org have great games that make reading fun. My son was the same way. Could sound out words before age 3 because he knew all the sounds, but really wasn't interested in reading a book. Now in kindy I do require some reading every day, even just a few sentences. Just tonight I was amazed at his fluency.

 

 

It will come. I didn't read at all until age 6. Within just a few years I was reading the same books as my mother.

[NanceXToo]

Ok, I'll go against the grain. I would absolutely do reading daily. Probably twice, maybe three times. It may only be five minutes at a time; but there are a few reasons I would absolutely do it. First, I think reading is that important. Second, even if your kid is going to be a late reader (I doubt it from what you wrote), they have to have the foundation on which to do it eventually. Third, I had a late reader and it will never again be because of what I may not have done as late reading can be EXTREMELY hard on a child; the lessons learned from that don't necessarily go away. This is not the case for every child, but it most certainly is for some; and you can't tell at 4 or 7 if it will be true for your child. Never will I be party to that again even if my intentions were good. Fourth, plugging through things systematically is a good life skill AND value. Fifth, education is not optional. It sets a bad precedent to allow kids to pick and choose unless that is your style and method. However, if you *want* the child to do 5 minutes of reading twice daily, then she needs to do so. Period.

 

Anyway, I realize she is four and I would be very gentle, keep it fun, keep it short, etc. But there is NO doubt that I would encourage her to be learning and/or practicing skills a little each day.

 

Strongly disagree. This kid isn't even 5 yet. We are nowhere near the realm of "late reader." Most of us parents learned to read in 1st grade and turned out perfectly fine. This learning to read in preschool and Kindergarten is a pretty recent development and for the most part it's being pushed earlier and earlier in public schools because of standardized testing. There is NO reason a child can't be taught to read at around 6 years of age- 1st grade level- without it being considered "late reading." That's a more developmentally normal age to be taught to read, and if the child is less resistant then than s/he was at 4 or 5, more the better...and more pleasant for mother and child alike. I don't understand the concept of forcing a disinterested four to five year old to do something many "experts" don't even consider them developmentally ready for because you worry that if you don't they'll be "late readers" and because-I-said-so-that's-why? And you're talking about education not being optional with a child who hasn't even officially reached school age yet. I just don't get the hard push with this age group. It's just going to set up an "I hate school" or an "I hate reading" mindset and I would NEVER want to do that with a four or five year old.

[Cassy]

With DS4, who will also be 5 in May, I do 10 minutes reading, twice a day. It's a time to cuddle up on the sofa with a reader suitable for his age, and he is able to develop his understanding of language and his reading skills. I never allow it to become a battle. If he doesn't want to read words I sound out the letters; he's never yet been able to resist saying the word once I've sounded it out for him. Mostly he loves his reading time, and has been known to spin out the 10 minutes to half an hour. I never miss these sessions. DH is severely dyslexic, despite being highly intelligent, and was unable to read at 9 yo. At that point he was taken to a psychologist who mainly prescribed consistent, intensive reading lessons (this was the late 1960s). DH's feeling is that the only way to learn to read, whether there are learning disabilities or not, is lots of consistent practice, and preferably the earlier the better.

 

Cassy

[....]

Hi, I have a 4 yro. Developmentally, I just don't think some of them are ready for something that abstract yet. I was thinking about this last night while I was listening to her tell me a story. My gut feeling is that their verbal skills need to be at a certain level, too. I can tell that my daughter is still trying to figure out how to say things (like tell me a story). At this stage, I'm just going to concentrate on read-alouds and having her talk to me, tell me stories, etc. Also, we need to spend more time at the library letting them look at picture books. I want to her be excited about books.

 

Does that make any sense?

 

Also, I feel like I told this story too many times. I pulled my son out of school in 1st grade and he couldn't read. He didn't even know his letter sounds. I taught him to read, so he was a late reader. He'll start 4th grade this fall and that dude can read and spell anything. He's also a very good writer. My oldest daughter, who learned to read very early, can not spell as well as he can. Also, I think his writing and her writing are at the exact same level. I'm not sure if these things are connected to late/early reading or even the way they were taught to read.

 

Anyway, I just wouldn't stress about it at this stage.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Strongly disagree. This kid isn't even 5 yet. We are nowhere near the realm of "late reader." Most of us parents learned to read in 1st grade and turned out perfectly fine. This learning to read in preschool and Kindergarten is a pretty recent development and for the most part it's being pushed earlier and earlier in public schools because of standardized testing. There is NO reason a child can't be taught to read at around 6 years of age- 1st grade level- without it being considered "late reading." That's a more developmentally normal age to be taught to read, and if the child is less resistant then than s/he was at 4 or 5, more the better...and more pleasant for mother and child alike. I don't understand the concept of forcing a disinterested four to five year old to do something many "experts" don't even consider them developmentally ready for because you worry that if you don't they'll be "late readers" and because-I-said-so-that's-why? And you're talking about education not being optional with a child who hasn't even officially reached school age yet. I just don't get the hard push with this age group. It's just going to set up an "I hate school" or an "I hate reading" mindset and I would NEVER want to do that with a four or five year old.

 

Oh goodness.

 

Well, in our home, "school" doesn't look like concentration camp work, bullying, and abuse. It doesn't look much like public school either. It doesn't mean we have to sit down with a primer or workbook if that isn't what would be best for that individual child. But we have a very rich environment. And we have a lot of fun with learning all sorts of things. And reading is no different. There is NO way that how we do anything could result in burn out, hating a subject, or hating to learn.

 

The only thing I can guess Nance is that you haven't seen such fun and gentleness and weaving into life. Really, my post was more about a mindfulness that *I* would have of giving the child opportunities to gain the skills and tools in a consistent manner. Like I said, fun, gentle, short bursts. But it would definitely be done.

 

Reading is just like toothbrushing. It starts in infancy (if I have a kid that early) and continues throughout childhood. It's not optional. But we're not talking about rude, in-your-face, mean mommying either. Even with a sensory defensive kid, toothbrushing can be taught to be fun, about connection, gentle, etc. Even with a preschooler a little reluctant for whatever reason, reading can be a relationship connection, gentle, fun, etc.

 

BTW, I *really* don't care about what "experts" say about just about anything. There are always "experts" saying the opposite. In the end, I make up my own mind. I think early childhood learning should be developmentally appropriate, fun, gentle, highly based on relationship, etc. I also think it absolutely should happen.

[stripe]

In my experience, learning to read does not come in a smooth progression. It slows down and then a huge leap is obtained.

 

I also think sitting her down with what are ultimately pretty boring stories (anything with CVC words is generally not thrilling) is not going to lead to excitement. Dr Seuss is at least more lively, but let's face it, many of these books are rather....dull.

[NanceXToo]

Oh goodness.

 

Well, in our home, "school" doesn't look like concentration camp work, bullying, and abuse. It doesn't look much like public school either. It doesn't mean we have to sit down with a primer or workbook if that isn't what would be best for that individual child. But we have a very rich environment. And we have a lot of fun with learning all sorts of things. And reading is no different. There is NO way that how we do anything could result in burn out, hating a subject, or hating to learn.

 

The only thing I can guess Nance is that you haven't seen such fun and gentleness and weaving into life. Really, my post was more about a mindfulness that *I* would have of giving the child opportunities to gain the skills and tools in a consistent manner. Like I said, fun, gentle, short bursts. But it would definitely be done.

 

Reading is just like toothbrushing. It starts in infancy (if I have a kid that early) and continues throughout childhood. It's not optional. But we're not talking about rude, in-your-face, mean mommying either. Even with a sensory defensive kid, toothbrushing can be taught to be fun, about connection, gentle, etc. Even with a preschooler a little reluctant for whatever reason, reading can be a relationship connection, gentle, fun, etc.

 

BTW, I *really* don't care about what "experts" say about just about anything. There are always "experts" saying the opposite. In the end, I make up my own mind. I think early childhood learning should be developmentally appropriate, fun, gentle, highly based on relationship, etc. I also think it absolutely should happen.

 

I'm certainly not saying or implying that your home is anything like an abusive, bullying, concentration camp or anything of the sort.

 

But this mother said that it is a "struggle" and the child does not want to do it, and you basically said do it anyway, several times a day, and in part because you wouldn't want to risk having a late reader, and because education isn't optional, which I just don't understand when we're talking about a not-yet-five-year-old. Yes, reading can be gentle and fun, but not every child will be interested or see it as such regardless, and if the OP's young child is one of them, I just don't think it's worth pushing at this stage. We'll have to agree to disagree on that, I guess! I have certainly seen fun and gentleness weaved into life, I base my entire curriculum on it as much as possible. :)

 

I don't know enough about what the OP has tried to know whether she has only tried more workbookish stuff or just HOW "gentle/fun" she has tried to be, but regardless, if I couldn't get a 5 y/o to do it willingly, it wouldn't be worth a "struggle" for me personally, and all I know about the OP's situation is that it is being described as a "struggle."

 

I'm sorry if you took that as me implying you were mean or whatever.

[Onceuponatime]

Ok, I'll go against the grain. I would absolutely do reading daily. Probably twice, maybe three times. It may only be five minutes at a time; but there are a few reasons I would absolutely do it. First, I think reading is that important. Second, even if your kid is going to be a late reader (I doubt it from what you wrote), they have to have the foundation on which to do it eventually. Third, I had a late reader and it will never again be because of what I may not have done as late reading can be EXTREMELY hard on a child; the lessons learned from that don't necessarily go away. This is not the case for every child, but it most certainly is for some; and you can't tell at 4 or 7 if it will be true for your child. Never will I be party to that again even if my intentions were good. Fourth, plugging through things systematically is a good life skill AND value. Fifth, education is not optional. It sets a bad precedent to allow kids to pick and choose unless that is your style and method. However, if you *want* the child to do 5 minutes of reading twice daily, then she needs to do so. Period.

 

Anyway, I realize she is four and I would be very gentle, keep it fun, keep it short, etc. But there is NO doubt that I would encourage her to be learning and/or practicing skills a little each day.

 

I'm in this camp as well. I don't view how I did things as "pushing." I didn't start a reading program with any of my kids till they were "officially" kindergardeners. Before that we just did read alouds and informal phonics games. However, when they started homeschool kindergarden, reading/phonics/spelling as a subject was mandatory. We worked at it every school day. I did not ask any of my children if they wanted to. I did pay attention to my children's frustration level and adjusted the pace accordingly. Every one of my five children was reading at at least second grade level by the end of the kindergarten year. In fact, that was my goal. As part of their school work, my children also read aloud to me a little each school day until they were in third grade, or until it was obvious that it was no longer necessary.

 

I never stressed out over teaching reading. Maybe it seems insensitive, but I didn't worry about how my children "felt" about learning to read, just like I didn't worry about how they felt about any of their other subjects. It was just part of the structure of schooling and I prepared my children to expect it. We got through it with a minimum of fuss. :001_smile:

 

Just to say, I did pay attention to how my children felt about the materials we were using. With one of my children, I was compelled to come up with a "Hogwart's Academy of Reading." We phonetically picked our way through Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone, one word at a time, then one sentence at a time, then one paragraph, then one page. Whew!

Edited March 9, 2012 by Onceuponatime

[Pretty in Pink]

In my experience, reading is a lot like potty training. One day it clicks for the child and they just take off. Four and a half is young. Your dd is already able to do much more than a lot of children her age if she is sounding out words and such. My *gentle* advice is not to push her, not to force her to read aloud if she doesn't care to at this age. I would just continue reading aloud to her daily, engaging stories and picture books and whatever else strikes her fancy, not Bob Books or whatever you have her reading aloud.

 

I have a child who self-taught at age 4, one who stalled out just short of fluent reading at 6 but at 7 began reading chapter books, and a 6yo currently who has stalled out, so to speak.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Nance,

 

I will agree it shouldn't be a "struggle." I wouldn't back off, but I would get a little more artful in my weaving

assuming there isn't a basic discipline issue going on (which would be worked on separately from school).

 

And I stand by my "education isn't optional" even though the child isn't school age. Education starts inutero.

The child being 4 just means she's learning 4yo things, not 12 yo things. But I do think we disagree that reading

is a 4yo thing (and a 2yo thing and an 8yo thing and....).

 

And I absolutely agree that all children are different. Goodness. In the last year alone, I've had 12 kids.

Talk about differences in kids!

 

It is actually kinda funny that I'm arguing FOR reading instruction for a 4 yr old when I was begging the

school to quit harping on my then 6yo (who didn't know as much as my delayed 3yo currently does) as he

had more important things to focus on rather than having reading shoved down his throat. The difference

is that school really *does* shove it down their throats at that age. A kid not reading in the first half of

kindy here is relegated to inschool and afterschool help! CRAZY. Some kids really DO read later! And six

isn't LATE! Goodness!

 

I absolutely believe in individuality. I just absolutely believe in early childhood education, gentle and fun, also :)

Edited March 9, 2012 by 2J5M9K

[SweetMissMagnolia]

I didn't really push it but I had a crate of books out and I would find my ds just sitting in his room with the whole crate of books scattered around the room and he would be sitting in the middle of them or sitting on his bed with a book reading/looking at it....read somewhere A LONG time ago that if you want a good reader you should "clutter" their room with books....it worked ;)

[cougarmom4]

You could try what SWB did, and tell child it was either time for a rest or a reading lesson...

[joannqn]

In my experience, reading is a lot like potty training. One day it clicks for the child and they just take off. Four and a half is young. Your dd is already able to do much more than a lot of children her age if she is sounding out words and such. My *gentle* advice is not to push her, not to force her to read aloud if she doesn't care to at this age. I would just continue reading aloud to her daily, engaging stories and picture books and whatever else strikes her fancy, not Bob Books or whatever you have her reading aloud.

 

:iagree:

 

 

My oldest was reading chapter books at 5. My second wasn't far behind. My third has spent most of his first five years not even interested in being read to let alone learning his letters and their sounds. (Your 4.5 year old is ahead of him.) My fourth loves books and wants to be read to regularly.

 

I'm not too worried about my third. I didn't even insist on reading to him daily, but I am getting more clever in getting the information to him. I bought a Fridge Words for him but don't make him use it. I got him a Reading Eggs subscription; he loves it and has learned a lot. He can read some CVC words and it's only been about 5 weeks. Since Fridge Words, he's started using the Fridge Words. I got him a Leap Frog Leap Pad for Christmas. I read to my youngest in front of him because he won't choose to be read to directly. He's not ahead like my first two but he's coming long and is probably right at average now. A couple months ago, he didn't even know all of his letters and would have been behind.

 

She's ahead. Don't force her yet. Next school year, do 5-10 minute lessons as part of school. Get more creative with your play time if you want to sneak things in.

[SKL]

In light of recent back-and-forth on this thread, I would note that the OP said her child can already sound out CVC words well and knows a nice handful of sight words, which is pretty good for her age - far ahead of my eldest at that age.

 

I don't think this is a case of a reading disability which needs to be worked on early and often. I think this is actually a case where the child needs to better understand reading in context, so she can make the transition from words to meaningful reading. Drilling "mat can bat at a cat" may work for some kids, but it will be a turn-off for others. Reading together in a relaxed way helps kids to learn how to really "use" a book, dig out the meaning from both pictures and words, figure out the author's intent, make predictions, and otherwise see the point of actually reading the words.

 

I agree that a little work on skills should be done every day. But this can be done very informally at this age. For example, talking about the title of a book and then spending half a minute focusing on the spelling/phonics of one of the title words. Pointing out how rhyming words end the same in print. Asking the child to pick out the word on a page that begins with L, then a whole word, then eventually more. I agree with having the attitude that we are going to learn every day and that is not negotiable. But the "how" can be negotiable.

 

Your daughter may just skip "readers" all together, and that is really OK. My youngest had no use for them, and she's an advanced reader. My other daughter needs the slower pace and repetition, and that's OK too.

[JessReplanted]

At 4 1/2, I'd create some reading 'games' to play 3 or 4 times a week for 10 minutes or so.

 

My 'rule' is that once you are in K (5), school is 'work' and you don't get a choice about it. So, at that point I would start being a little more focused about working on reading at least 10 minutes per day.

 

My 4 1/2 year old is working on her first I Can Read It! book.

This morning, we reviewed sight words and she read all of two sentences, and we were both done. I'm still waiting for reading to click with her. Right now it is still tedious.

 

My 5 1/2 year old just started her first Magic Treehouse book because she has blown through all of our K and 1st Grade readers. :lol:

[Susan in TN]

Your dd is way ahead of my 5.5yodd, who can say the basic consonant and short vowel sounds, but cannot put them together without a great deal of work. None of my kids have been early readers, so I guess I'm used to it. We just continue to work on what she CAN do, do a little blending practice, and (dare I say it) sight reading flash cards.

 

My kids don't often become interested in actually reading things on their own until they are 6.5 or 7. That's OK. There's plenty of time.

[Carol in Cal.]

That's really young.

I would read to her a lot. Really a lot. Like, for instance, 45 minutes after breakfast, another hour or so in the afternoon, and maybe an hour at bedtime. If she wants you to keep going after those times, do it.

 

Talk about vocabulary as it comes up so that she learns it in context. Talk about the stories. Read harder books and easy books, funny books, picture books, simple or wacky poetry, etc. Read all the doggone time. Have fun doing it.

 

Regarding the reading acquisition, if it were me I would try to find something that would make this into a secret code 'feel'. Maybe I would write her a note 3 times a week that was completely made up of words that are easy to sound out, and leave it for her in a special place. Maybe I would put a little sign up in the kitchen and keep looking at it. Maybe I would label things in her room with words for them. Maybe I would do a treasure hunt with word and picture clues from time to time.

 

But I would not push the lessons at this age, and I would try very hard not to give the impression that this is crucial, deadly serious, or anything like that. That risks causing resistance, and at this age that can be pretty damaging. You don't want this kid to decide that she hates reading, at age 4.

[stripe]

In light of recent back-and-forth on this thread, I would note that the OP said her child can already sound out CVC words well and knows a nice handful of sight words, which is pretty good for her age - far ahead of my eldest at that age.

 

I don't think this is a case of a reading disability which needs to be worked on early and often. I think this is actually a case where the child needs to better understand reading in context, so she can make the transition from words to meaningful reading.

And also a case where cultivating a love for (or at least a desire for!) reading would ultimately be beneficial.

[Jen Becker]

Thanks, everyone! I really appreciate all the different approaches, and there have been some great specific suggestions.

 

A few clarifications: we do read aloud. A LOT. An hour+ a day. Always have -- she LOVES to be read to. We have books everywhere in the house, and she loves to sit and look through them on her own.

 

We've tried a lot of different methods to get to this point -- 100EZ Lessons, HoP, Ready2Read, phonics worksheets, Reading Eggs trial, games, etc. I often propose mini-lessons, sometimes offer slight bribes (a chocolate chip for each book she reads to her brother), but I don't push if she firmly resists.

[angelovearth]

At that age I wouldn't push it either. What you're doing now is a great way to go. Reading aloud is sooo important. I would definitely keep up with that. That's helped my kids tremendously. Now at their age, they can read science, history, etc and sometimes they won't 'get it' but when I read it outloud to them, they totally connect with the words and understand. Keep it up. Don't stress yourself out. She'll get there when she's ready.

[StartingOver]

Ok, I'll go against the grain. I would absolutely do reading daily... First, I think reading is that important. Second, even if your kid is going to be a late reader... they have to have the foundation on which to do it eventually... Fourth, plugging through things systematically is a good life skill AND value. Fifth, education is not optional. It sets a bad precedent to allow kids to pick and choose unless that is your style and method. However, if you *want* the child to do 5 minutes of reading twice daily, then she needs to do so. Period.

 

:iagree: Reading is a very difficult skill to learn. In my experience it takes disciplined, consistent work and practice. The point at which a person becomes proficient at reading is the point at which reading becomes fun and enjoyable...

 

I strongly agree with Pamela's fifth point. Reading is not optional or dependent on what the child feels like doing. I would not consider it acceptable if my children did not feel like doing math or writing or any other required subject.

 

...I absolutely believe in individuality. I just absolutely believe in early childhood education, gentle and fun, also :)

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree: Better early than late. Education is not optional. It can be fun and get done at the same time.

[kroe1]

The ability to do the two main kinds of early reading, phonics and sight, occur at different times in the developing brain. For most kiddos, the ability to sight read starts several years prior to the ability to do phonics. The ability to conceptualize the word read, whether by sight or phonics, is yet another process. And, the ability to string together several words just read and achieve a total sentence concept is even another process that also develops independently and different for each child.

 

It is no different than other differences in learning like the kid learning to potty train at 18 months and another not getting a clue until age 3. At whatever rate the learning to read is, however, before age 6 or 7, there is no real ability to project who the big readers will be, who the smart kids will be, etc., except in the most extreme areas of learnimg disability or genius.

 

Unfortunately, however, most people do not understand this. As parents we panic if our kiddo isn't reading his first novel at age 6. And our friends give us that look of concern. Contrarily, teachers label our kiddos as brilliant if they can read walking into a first kindergarten day.

 

So for me, the answer is compromise. I teach my young kiddos sight reading beginning at age 3. I make sure they can easily read enough words that way so that they are labeled as geniuses by the rest of the world. I allow them the confidence bestowed by the label. Then I wait patiently until the little brain is ready for phonics so my kiddos do not have to ever feel frustration or tediousness with reading.

 

DS31 is now a physician even though he was never truly smart. DD11 gets to tell everyone she is 2 grade levels higher than her age would put her. She is not smart either. But, shhhh. Please do not tell my kids this. Never underestimate the power of labeling. (wink)

[Jen Becker]

To continue on with the pattern I've observed that worrying about something publicly often immediately precedes it fixing itself....

 

I suggested she read me some Bob books during "school time" today and she easily read 3 of them in a row. And declared how much she enjoyed it. :thumbup:

[SKL]

To continue on with the pattern I've observed that worrying about something publicly often immediately precedes it fixing itself....

 

This happens to me all the time - I should complain publicly first before I try to fix anything!

 

Glad to hear that she read enthusiastically today!