No more reading at dd's preschool for our family

[lulubelle]

We were told not to sign up for any more reading at dd's preschool today! So far, my husband and I have each read to them 2x, ds9 1x, and ds7 1x. I already have ds9 signed up again because he had so much fun doing it and my mother is going to do it as well. I wasn't even going to have the boys do it at all, but one of the teachers mentioned it would be fun!!! I just don't get it.

 

The teacher mentioned that other families can't plan ahead so well and need last minute opportunities. That just doesn't seem right. I really need to shake my negative feelings about this. Up until this morning I have been really delighted with her preschool!

[iquilt]

That seems very sad to me.

[5kidsforME]

We were told not to sign up for any more reading at dd's preschool today! So far, my husband and I have each read to them 2x, ds9 1x, and ds7 1x. I already have ds9 signed up again because he had so much fun doing it and my mother is going to do it as well. I wasn't even going to have the boys do it at all, but one of the teachers mentioned it would be fun!!! I just don't get it.

 

The teacher mentioned that other families can't plan ahead so well and need last minute opportunities. That just doesn't seem right. I really need to shake my negative feelings about this. Up until this morning I have been really delighted with her preschool!

 

That doesn't even make sense to me?? :confused: So because you are organized and are a planner you're getting penalized??

[delaney]

So at a morning preschool where it almost implied that there is a stay-at-home mom since it is half day they can't plan ahead?! Sounds to me like someone got their panties in a bunch and complained that you were taking all the good slots. Would you please learn to take turns and not cut the line!!??:glare: Geez people. I would have real issue with that and go elsewhere.

[5kidsforME]

So at a morning preschool where it almost implied that there is a stay-at-home mom since it is half day they can't plan ahead?! Sounds to me like someone got their panties in a bunch and complained that you were taking all the good slots. Would you please learn to take turns and not cut the line!!??:glare: Geez people. I would have real issue with that and go elsewhere.

 

I would think the preschool would be happy to know ahead of time who was coming etc. Not penalize the people that show up and are organized. Is there more to this possibly?

[Catwoman]

That doesn't even make sense to me?? :confused: So because you are organized and are a planner you're getting penalized??

 

:iagree:

 

That is incredibly idiotic. :glare:

[meggie]

Yeah, see how happy they are when this comes back to bite them in the butt. I have a feeling those who "can't plan ahead" enough won't be all that consistent at showing up at the drop of the hat either. Then no one will be reading to the kids. :glare: Seriously? Who refuses volunteers?!

[jujsky]

Well, were you monopolizing all the good slots? I could sort of see parents complaining if they went to sign up and most of the slots were taken up by your family. It's wonderful that you are all so eager to participate, but maybe other families want to participate too, but do need a bit more time to check their schedules. Even if the assumption is that these other parents are SAHMs, that doesn't mean they don't need to arrange childcare for a baby at home, or rearrange a class or activity they had scheduled during their child's school time. If I had to guess, I'd say other parents went to sign up and complained that all the slots they wanted were taken by your family. If I didn't want to commit to a slot until I could rearrange my schedule, rearranged everything (be it canceling something I wanted/needed to do, or had to get child care or whatever) and then went to sign up and all the slots I could do were taken, I'd harbor some resentment over it. I'd ask the school outright if other parents complained. Where your schedule is a bit more flexible than some of the other parents' schedules, could your family volunteer to be back-ups in case there are cancellations?

[lulubelle]

Like I said, it doesn't make much sense. Sign-ups have been available since the beginning of January. And, it isn't as though I signed us up for all the slots right when it came out. I've just done it a week ahead of time. There were no rules about it. Maybe they are only doing it through the month of February? I really don't even know.

[*********]

We were told not to sign up for any more reading at dd's preschool today! So far, my husband and I have each read to them 2x, ds9 1x, and ds7 1x. I already have ds9 signed up again because he had so much fun doing it and my mother is going to do it as well. I wasn't even going to have the boys do it at all, but one of the teachers mentioned it would be fun!!! I just don't get it.

 

The teacher mentioned that other families can't plan ahead so well and need last minute opportunities. That just doesn't seem right. I really need to shake my negative feelings about this. Up until this morning I have been really delighted with her preschool!

 

 

Wait. So from what you said, it sounds like there's an actual sign-up sheet, with times that people can come in and read to the class.

 

And, you have signed up various family members on the sheet.

 

I TOTALLY don't get the teacher's problem. At all. In fact, I think she was quite rude. There either needs to be a limit stated on the sign-up sheet that everyone must follow (like, 'please limit your family to X number of time slots per month, to allow everyone an opportunity', or something), or no limit at all.

 

That's just mean that she singled your family out like that. And so absurd at the same time! As if you were being SELFISH by coming in and reading to her class!

[Princess Peach]

If I had to guess, I'd say some of the other parents are complaining that the slots are taken up by your whole family. The teachers need to try and keep everyone happy, and unfortunately that is never possible.

 

I'd just let the others have their turn. Have the teachers let you know when you can have a turn again. I think it's a little extreme to have negative feelings about the preschool just because of this, unless there is more to the story.

[lulubelle]

Julie, you are most likely right. Although, now I feel terrible.

[Plucky]

It may be because your kids are reading and they don't want the kids to ask why they aren't in school. Does the staff have any opinions about homeschooling?

[Forget-Me-Not]

Well, were you monopolizing all the good slots? I could sort of see parents complaining if they went to sign up and most of the slots were taken up by your family. It's wonderful that you are all so eager to participate, but maybe other families want to participate too, but do need a bit more time to check their schedules. Even if the assumption is that these other parents are SAHMs, that doesn't mean they don't need to arrange childcare for a baby at home, or rearrange a class or activity they had scheduled during their child's school time. If I had to guess, I'd say other parents went to sign up and complained that all the slots they wanted were taken by your family. If I didn't want to commit to a slot until I could rearrange my schedule, rearranged everything (be it canceling something I wanted/needed to do, or had to get child care or whatever) and then went to sign up and all the slots I could do were taken, I'd harbor some resentment over it. I'd ask the school outright if other parents complained. Where your schedule is a bit more flexible than some of the other parents' schedules, could your family volunteer to be back-ups in case there are cancellations?

 

:iagree: This was sort of the vibe I got too. Not that they weren't happy to have your help, but maybe that you were crowding other families out a little bit?

[lulubelle]

I'm oversensitive!

 

Really, there were no "good" spots to be taken. Is Friday better than Monday?

[Caroline]

I'm oversensitive!

 

Really, there were no "good" spots to be taken. Is Friday better than Monday?

 

Yes, for many working parents Friday is better than Monday.

[*********]

I'm oversensitive!

 

Really, there were no "good" spots to be taken. Is Friday better than Monday?

 

Lauren, can I just say you are one sweet lady.

 

Your reaction to the situation is much kinder and more understanding than mine would've been.

 

I think it's downright silly for other parents to think that, for whatever reason, they should have first dibs on whatever they deem the 'good' time slots.

 

But you've set a good example, for your kids and for me, about having a humble spirit.

Edited February 1, 2012 by bethanyniez

[lulubelle]

There really is nothing more to the story.

 

 

Thanks Bethany!

[jujsky]

Julie, you are most likely right. Although, now I feel terrible.

 

Don't feel terrible. Honestly, it's probably the school doing damage control. Ideally it would have been better if the parent or parents who complained had approached you and said, "I know you signed up for X spot, but I just rearranged my life so I could do it. Is there any way you could switch with me?" Often, that doesn't happen because it's a lot easier to complain about a situation to the higher-ups than it is to approach a person and try to work something out.

[Dmmetler]

I kind of expected it was going to be because of the choice of books :). When DD was in K, parents were invited to come in and read one day to the class when the child was "star of the week", and DD had carefully picked out several favorite books-Jack Pretlutsky and Shel Silverstein poems, a biology book, and I think a Brian P. Cleary Grammar book. Her teacher pulled us aside when we got there and asked if we'd mind running to the library and picking out something else-because while DD was proud of her selections, she didn't think that her other 5 yr olds would be interested!

 

Anyway, I'd just lay low for awhile, and let the teacher know you're still interested. It wouldn't surprise me to see you get a call within a couple of weeks because she has empty slots on the schedule.

[lulubelle]

That is funny. I can see how you might think it was our book choices. They have been the standard pre-school books; Imogene's Antlers, Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, My Uncle Bigfoot, Sylvester and the Magic Pebble and couple more I can't remember.

[akmommy]

So at a morning preschool where it almost implied that there is a stay-at-home mom since it is half day they can't plan ahead?!

 

This isn't necessarily true. When my DD attended a half day, 3 day a week preschool many of the kids were picked up by grandparents or babysitters. Many working parents don't want to use day care facilities, but want the opportunities for their kids a good preschool can provide.

 

ETA: I think the teacher is being silly, but I would back off for awhile and see what happens. Hopefully some other parents (or even grand parents) will step up.

Edited February 1, 2012 by akmommy

[fhjmom]

We were told not to sign up for any more reading at dd's preschool today! So far, my husband and I have each read to them 2x, ds9 1x, and ds7 1x. I already have ds9 signed up again because he had so much fun doing it and my mother is going to do it as well. I wasn't even going to have the boys do it at all, but one of the teachers mentioned it would be fun!!! I just don't get it.

 

The teacher mentioned that other families can't plan ahead so well and need last minute opportunities. That just doesn't seem right. I really need to shake my negative feelings about this. Up until this morning I have been really delighted with her preschool!

 

Just curious, how many days a week do they ask for reading volunteers? From your other comment, it seems like the sign up sheet only covers January and February and according to this, your family has signed up for 8 slots, which would be roughly 20% of the slots if it is every week day. If they ask for less than every week day, then it would be quite a bit more percentage wise. I could see other families getting a little put off if every time they look at the list, one of your family members is already there. I can also see other parents expressing concerns for whatever reason about your other kids reading; even if the teacher was the one to encourage it, those parents likely don't know that. Not saying I agree with their complaint, but it doesn't surprise me that some people would say something.

 

The "planning" comment may have been the teacher's ill attempt to find a way to encourage you to let others have a chance to sign up first. I am sure she appreciates volunteers and your family is so sweet for doing this. I would just ask for her to let you know when you can read again, or, if your schedule allows, ask if your family can be "on call" to fill spots that may not get filled ahead of time. :grouphug:

[Photo Ninja]

I hope other parents, who can't plan ahead, actually sign up and show up to read to the children, but it's ultimately the teacher's decision.

 

This teacher needs to learn that those who ask for help should not say no to the volunteers. The enthusiastic volunteers will usually go somewhere else where they are welcomed.

[MistyMountain]

I am guessing this is a 2 or 3 day a week class and so there isn't a lot of days available and it sounds like your family is taking a lot of these slots. They should of had a limit how many times a family could participate in a month but I can see how other familes would want slots but they go and see them all taken up by one family. They could of said it more tactfully but I would not take it personally.

[katilac]

It has been my experience that people who say they can only do things last-minute, rarely actually do them. I have learned the hard way that the people who beg, BEG, me to let their kids sign up for a class past the registration date are also the very first people to cancel or simply not show up. ((Yes, I am smarter now - you can still sign-up last-minute if I can accommodate you, but it will cost you more. Just a courtesy to those courteous enough to give me time to actually PLAN the class!).

 

Unless the OP signed up for more than 50% of the slots on the very day the sheets were put out, I can't imagine discouraging them. I don't really get someone resenting that all the "good" slots are taken up ahead of time. If you are a busy or working parent, isn't it all the more important that you plan ahead? It's not like you can say, hey, I'll just play hooky today and read to your class! :confused:

 

I personally would not be quite gracious enough to offer to be the "fill-in" person for all the no-shows who insisted they wanted a last-minute spot. The OP can probably do so much because she DOES plan ahead. We all have the same 24 hours in a day - she doesn't have magical extra time that makes it convenient for her to fill in with no notice, kwim? She has a home and a home school, a husband and three kids, and who knows what else.

 

Can you tell it's my pet peeve when people think that those who are willing to PLAN and COMMIT must have easier schedules or less to do, lol?

[SweetandSimple]

This does sound very strange to me. Maybe it's because we public-schooled my son for kindergarten and had the opposite problem... I think the teacher would've been happy to have 5 parents volunteering at all times in the classroom... I felt like we could never do enough!

[Catwoman]

I personally would not be quite gracious enough to offer to be the "fill-in" person for all the no-shows who insisted they wanted a last-minute spot.

 

I wouldn't, either. Let the teacher beg you to do it, after reality sets in and most of those other parents never bother to sign up or show up to do their share of the reading. And then tell her you'd love to help, but since it wasn't on your schedule, you have other plans. After all, it's important to plan these things in advance... :D

[zaichiki]

Also consider, from a school-culture point of view, that they often want parents to be involved (but not TOO much). Schools like participation, but many become leery about enthusiasm.

 

(Speaking like a true former-classroom-teacher.)

[EmilyK]

Sounds like this was handled in a way that left you feeling bad, which is unfortunate. But I have to say this is the way that volunteering was handled when my kids were in PS. In K, they were happy to have as many volunteers as they could at any times. But after that, the teacher preferred to have defined, recurring slots, and would usually announce at the beginning of the year that families were limited to one or two unless there were unfilled spots. Field trips were similarly rationed. Certain times (Fridays, first thing in the am) were better for many folks.

[Ali in OR]

The teacher may also have an unstated goal of getting more parents and families involved. She may have envisioned a different family each time, giving the preschoolers a chance to experience different voices, faces, ethnicities, book choices, etc. And it would help each parent who participated to feel more connected to the school. She wouldn't be able to accomplish that goal if your family was way over represented.

[joannqn]

I wouldn't, either. Let the teacher beg you to do it, after reality sets in and most of those other parents never bother to sign up or show up to do their share of the reading. And then tell her you'd love to help, but since it wasn't on your schedule, you have other plans. After all, it's important to plan these things in advance... :D

 

:iagree:

[katilac]

The teacher may also have an unstated goal of getting more parents and families involved. She may have envisioned a different family each time, giving the preschoolers a chance to experience different voices, faces, ethnicities, book choices, etc. And it would help each parent who participated to feel more connected to the school. She wouldn't be able to accomplish that goal if your family was way over represented.

 

This would make sense to me if people were unable to sign up because her family was filling all, or nearly all, of the slots. It would even make sense if they were filling certain 'popular' slots that others wanted to fill, but I didn't get the sense that people were being prevented from signing up. It sounds like they don't WANT to sign up for a specific slot, but they also don't want the OP to sign up for it. They want slots left open in case they decide they want to do it. That's just weird, imo.

 

Edited to add that it may not be a weird thing to want, but it's a weird thing to accommodate.

[Mom0012]

I wonder if they were okay with your 7 and 9 yo doing the read alouds? Is their reading extremely fluent for their age and are they able to give proper intonations to make the story interesting and keep the preschoolers interested? I know my kids would not have been able to do that at 7 even though they are both strong readers (though I'm sure there are many children who could).

 

Maybe when they were putting out the sign-up sheet, they weren't considering that homeschoolers with younger children might sign their kids up?

 

It could have nothing to do with this at all. It's just something that jumped out at me.

 

Lisa

[jjins]

I would check for two things:

 

One, can your family read to individual children who need more reading than they can get at home (regardless of the reason).

 

Two, is the teacher willing to call your family and invite someone into read when there is a last minute opportunity (maybe the day before?). Would your family be willing to be so flexible.

 

I completely understand how for a family with only one person who can read to the class may have difficulty scheduling with your family, which has more available readers also scheduled.

 

Sometimes, people complain about something "would love to come and read, but family 'such and such' is always scheduled on the days I think I can make it, they have been able to read so MANY times and I have NEVER been able to". Once the schedule is open, there is likely to be ANOTHER reason this person cannot come in a read.

 

Maybe, the teacher is trying to accommodate those families who have not yet read and when there are still holes would LOVE to have your family fill them.

 

 

:grouphug:

[lulubelle]

I see all the points of view much better now.

 

And, let me just re-state that I was not going to let the kids read, but one of the teachers suggested it! They each read very well and very appropriate books for each of them. Very simple books with great visuals.

 

This is the second month that it has been available for Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. A friend who also sends her daughter there is assuming it is continuing into next month.

[clementine]

I have two questions.

 

If you have signed up for days ahead of time, but the teacher says that parents who can't plan ahead don't have options when they CAN choose a date, what happens if no one signs up for that slot - even at the last minute? Do they just go without a guest reader?

 

If you stopped signing up altogether (although, that is sad) would the teacher finally realize her mistake in asking you not to...if they went days/weeks without a volunteer?

 

I think the teacher went about it the wrong way - discouraging for you, no doubt.

 

:grouphug:

[lulubelle]

Like I originally said, it just doesn't make all that much sense. If no one signs up the teacher will just read like she normally does.

[clementine]

It sounds like she's had complaints OR that she is a bit controlling in her classroom. Either way, I'm sorry that your volunteer time has been cut short. Her loss and her students' loss.....hopefully she'll realize it, eventually.

[Jenny in GA]

FWIW ... at my son's pre-school, if you express interest in reading to the class at the beginning of the year (which pretty much everyone does), they make a calendar with assigned days for everyone to read, and you notify them if that day causes a conflict, and they change it.

 

There are only enough slots for every family to come in twice during the school year. I wish there were more.

[lauranc]

That doesn't even make sense to me?? :confused: So because you are organized and are a planner you're getting penalized??

 

:iagree: It takes a lot to make me think 'wha?' but.. this seems really wrong to me.

[Lovin Learnin]

Could it be a liability issue? I'm not familiar with the laws but if something happened accidentally to one of your older children they might not be covered by school insurance since they are not members of the school. Intentionally having them in the building could put the school at risk. I could see where the teacher might not want to say that to you since she suggested you bring them in the first place. Maybe she was clued in recently by the principal or someone else.

 

Honestly, I would back out and let them ask you to return. Either that or I would volunteer to be the alternate reader for days when they need someone.

[katilac]

Could it be a liability issue? I'm not familiar with the laws but if something happened accidentally to one of your older children they might not be covered by school insurance since they are not members of the school. Intentionally having them in the building could put the school at risk. I could see where the teacher might not want to say that to you since she suggested you bring them in the first place. Maybe she was clued in recently by the principal or someone else.

 

Honestly, I would back out and let them ask you to return. Either that or I would volunteer to be the alternate reader for days when they need someone.

 

No, not really. Schools routinely have many, many people who are not staff or students on the campus.

[Sneezyone]

If the school is only 3 days a week, no more than 12-15 days a month and a family has taken up 6-8 of those days by themselves, that doesn't to leave much for others. And as a formerly working mommy, Fridays would be my preferred choice. :confused:

[5kidsforME]

If the school is only 3 days a week, no more than 12-15 days a month and a family has taken up 6-8 of those days by themselves, that doesn't to leave much for others. And as a formerly working mommy, Fridays would be my preferred choice. :confused:

 

I would think you would then realize you needed to plan better. Also, why should working moms get preference over non working moms?

[Alphabetika]

That doesn't even make sense to me?? :confused: So because you are organized and are a planner you're getting penalized??

 

:iagree:That was my thought, too. Shouldn't this be an "Early bird gets the worm" situation? Why in the world would they turn down enthusiastic, well-organized readers? I'm sorry to hear about this and hope that you get to read again!