jillian Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 ...insert age...? DD is so smart that sometimes I forget she is only 4 years old. Anyone else have this issue? Like she does something so typically 4 years old that I have to stop and remind myself that she's only 4 no matter how smart she is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iucounu Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 I never forget, but the asynchrony can take some getting used to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodland Mist Academy Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 :iagree: I have to remind myself sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 I do that too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scuff Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Maybe it's an oldest child thing? Or maybe not. I do know that I put a lot on him when he was younger, thinking he "should" be able to handle it. (4 seemed so big when it's the first and yesterday he was a baby!) Oh, how we live and learn! I didn't know about asynchronism back then. I've done much better with #3, letting her move at her own pace and be a kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissKNG Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Yup...for both girls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Yes. We just did DD's 7 yr physical recently, and her pediatrician always has a list of "Typical behaviors of the X year old". It was kind of strange to go down that list and realize that so many of them were things I'd seen-and been frustrated with DD over, because she is so far skewed on the cognitive stuff. I'd kind of expected the asynchronity would get less as she got older, but it hasn't. It's just changed (and gotten harder in some ways because she's more aware of it now than she was at 3 and 4). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acurtis75 Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 All the time. Dh and I often have to remind each other she's only 6 which she's acting her age and we're expecting too much from her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in the UP of MI Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Maybe it's an oldest child thing? Or maybe not. I do know that I put a lot on him when he was younger, thinking he "should" be able to handle it. (4 seemed so big when it's the first and yesterday he was a baby!) Oh, how we live and learn! I didn't know about asynchronism back then. I've done much better with #3, letting her move at her own pace and be a kid. :iagree: It was definitely the worst with my oldest, though she is not my most asynchronous child. I expected so much from her even when she was still itty bitty. Now my third is about to turn 4yo and though she definitely doesn't act her age in most ways I realize that she is still little and for the most part treat her that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristinannie Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 I was actually talking about this with some friends yesterday. Since my son is so intellectually mature and able to talk about such deep topics, it is sometimes hard to remember that he is only 5 and is still developing his emotional stability! I remind myself of this often! It is so hard to think of really smart children as children sometimes! Such a true post! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boscopup Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Maybe it's an oldest child thing? Or maybe not. I do know that I put a lot on him when he was younger, thinking he "should" be able to handle it. (4 seemed so big when it's the first and yesterday he was a baby!) Oh, how we live and learn! I didn't know about asynchronism back then. I've done much better with #3, letting her move at her own pace and be a kid. :iagree:It's getting easier now that I've been actively THINKING about where he is and where most kids are developmentally at this age, and comparing those whenever we run into any issue. I first realized this when he was 4, and he was big enough to know a lot of stuff and sound really smart, yet he was still 4, and he wasn't ready to do formal school or anything like that. That's when I learned to back off and let him roll on his own, which he did fabulously. :) Now that he's 7, and I've had 2 other children of varying abilities, it's getting a bit easier to keep his age/development separate from his intellectual ability. I won't say it's easy, but just a bit easier than it was when he was 4. ;) I still have that inner struggle over writing, but the fact is, he's physically writing the amount that would be expected of a 7 year old boy (at least by SWB... maybe not the public school), and while yes, his thoughts are so much more and he has great oral narrations (no problem making it concise in detail yet strong sentences - not the choppy little kid sentences), I just have to wait patiently for his physical ability (writing OR typing) to catch up with his mental ability. We just keep plugging along, and making changes here and there that I think will help (like realizing that spelling may be contributing to his issue with physical writing - perfectionism rearing its ugly head! So we're focusing more on spelling this semester). It's a lot easier for me to relax with my younger two. My 2.5 year old is picking up a lot these days (and he just sounds older than the other two did at this age). He's starting to want me to put my finger on a word and sound it out now. Today, he was "reading" the title The Phantom Tollbooth. He had noticed the A, which he knows says /a/, and he wanted to know what the rest said, so I slowly sounded it all out. He then made me repeat this process about 10 times. :tongue_smilie: Am I going out and getting a phonics program for him? Nope. We'll see what he picks up on his own the next couple years. He's like my oldest, so I don't think I'll need to teach him to read. He'll likely teach himself. He's doing that with everything else. The only one I've had to teach basic preschool stuff to was my middle son, and I'm starting to get some insight into his mind thanks to Temple Grandin... I'm reading about visual thinkers, and it's making a lot more sense to me now why my son wasn't picking up things like counting to 10 until we did a workbook page, and just months later, he's able to add in his head by counting, but he's not counting fingers or objects, he's likely picturing C-rods or something in his mind to add. I witnessed this the other day and thought it was pretty cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChandlerMom Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 I guess I'm more the opposite: I see ym kids as just "normal" with their mix of asynchronicity and catch myself looking at OTHER people's kids and thinking they seem a little slow or immature. :lol: Then I catch myself. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 With my own kids, this isn't a big issue for me. But on Christmas, we had houseguests with a kid their same age. I was telling my kid off for allegedly pushing the guest kid (in competition for some toy), and the guest kid got really upset. She was not ready to see a mom be so horrible, I guess. I think her parents may never let me around her again. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Yep. The kid is just a few inches shorter than me, is wearing shoes I didn't wear until I was 17 years old - she's basically an only for all that sociological stuff...and it never fails to floor me when I see her up to her age-mate peers...so I get frequent reality checks with this. I have to constantly remind myself of her age and what's appropriate for me to expect out of her. Lasts about all of two minutes and I'm back to my evil ways...lol... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
La Condessa Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Yes, especially with my younger one. A few weeks ago we were out in public and I was giving her a talking-to for being disobedient when I saw another mom glaring at me. It took me a moment to realize how nuts I must have sounded, saying, "You know that's not acceptable" to this tiny little kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Yup. I was explaining to dd the basics of the presidential election process last night- she wanted to know why we have to go pick a president later this year when we already have President Obama, who she adores, lol- and partway through I stopped for a moment and wondered if it's normal to explain something like that to a three year old. And if it's normal for said three year old to sit and listen and understand it. At this point I really don't know what a normal three year old is at all, because dd's development is extremely asynchronous and the kids her age she's spent the most time around were quite delayed. So I'm flying pretty blind here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillian Posted January 20, 2012 Author Share Posted January 20, 2012 Yes, especially with my younger one. A few weeks ago we were out in public and I was giving her a talking-to for being disobedient when I saw another mom glaring at me. It took me a moment to realize how nuts I must have sounded, saying, "You know that's not acceptable" to this tiny little kid. OMG this is so me. When I tell dd to use her words (she's going through this horrible 4 yr old hormonal drama) because she knows how to I get this look like "what the hell she's so little". DD is my only so far and I don't even know what a normal 4 year old looks like (despite her behavioral meltdowns). She's always been very easy going and understanding of the world around her and in ways it doesn't seem to be on par with her peers but I just go at her pace...if she asks about something then I'm cool with it and will explain appropriately Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Not really. I have a much more difficult time reminding myself that our Aspie has serious limitations vs. remembering how little our younger kids are. Of course, it helps that I continuously have kids in all stages of development, so it helps keeps things in perspective.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunshineMom Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Yup, my dd8 recently explained that "learning is like a ray of light which leads you on a path that gets brighter and brighter and opens up to the sun which for her is a PhD (her words not mine)." Above said shortly after she teased her sister and hid one of her toys just to be annoying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Embassy Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 No, I'm more like aaahhh my kids are already (insert age). Time passes too quickly and they have grown so much in what seems like a blink of an eye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjbeach Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Oh yes! My 8yo dd is very mature for her age. I've had many people remark on her high "EQ." She's very nurturing and her conversations are very mature, but she LOOKS 8. Also, while she's having a very mature conversation with you she may be doing turns, splits, and heel stretches in her "Hello Kitty" head-to-toe ensemble, so it's apparent she is only 8. But some days in the course of a very mature conversation I have to stop myself (as a HS mom seeking more adult conversation) because I want to go on into conversation that she probably could handle, but doesn't need to, at this point in her life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth in SW WA Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Dd8 often seems mature for her age also -- yet she still looks & acts like a little girl. As far as asynchronous, I have recently learned that term here within the last few months. Speaking of new terms...This conversation took place in our schoolroom today during a WWE lesson.... Me: Try to complete this sentence with one interesting, vivid word. "Everything in Paul Bunyan's camp was______." Abi: Everything in Paul Bunyan's camp was salubrious. Me: Salubrious? Where did you learn that word? Abi: Calvin & Hobbes :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracy Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Yes. Yes. Yes. All the time. Dd6 is my oldest, so I don't really know what to expect of her. But she is both smart and socially astute, so in spite of the fact that she is only 40 lbs. with all of her clothes on, it is hard to remember that she is only 6yo when I am setting expectations for academics and behavior. I really, really struggle with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Yes, definitely. Becca gets the worst of it because she's the oldest. Poor girl! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Yes! I'm getting better at remembering but sometimes I have to take a step back and remember that he is only little. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 When they hit the teenage years, yes. :lol: I had a few "what the heck" moments upon seeing some totally illogical talk and behavior, but then I reminded myself that this is just how they are at those ages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
La Condessa Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 What makes it worse, at least as far as other people thinking I'm crazy, is that my younger daughter is quite shy. So while she's starting to speak in sentences at home, she rarely talks around strangers at all beyond maybe an occasional "Mama!" And there I am, the nutso lady treating the preverbal baby like a preschooler. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 What makes it worse, at least as far as other people thinking I'm crazy, is that my younger daughter is quite shy. So while she's starting to speak in sentences at home, she rarely talks around strangers at all beyond maybe an occasional "Mama!" And there I am, the nutso lady treating the preverbal baby like a preschooler. My youngest used to get the dumbest look on her face and be completely mute around people. Now she just acts like a complete weirdo, literally falling over herself to avoid the appearance of competence. Lately when she feels shy and self-conscious, she has started holding up five fingers and saying, "five. I'm five. I'm five." Um, yeah, what gives? This is the kid who at age three asked, "Why did the Nazis take over Austria?" I used to get frustrated with this; finally I just said "she's shy" whenever it happened. Who cares what people think, anyway? Other than the folks who have to decide if she can enter 1st this fall, I mean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greenmama2 Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Not so often but yesterday the mother of a friend of DD's who is two years older looked at me in surprise mid conversation and then said "Oh, I think of her as the same age as X.". So apparently I'm not the only one who forgets she's only 5.5. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rbsmrter Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 OMG this is so me. When I tell dd to use her words (she's going through this horrible 4 yr old hormonal drama) because she knows how to I get this look like "what the hell she's so little". DD is my only so far and I don't even know what a normal 4 year old looks like (despite her behavioral meltdowns). She's always been very easy going and understanding of the world around her and in ways it doesn't seem to be on par with her peers but I just go at her pace...if she asks about something then I'm cool with it and will explain appropriately I'm glad I'm not the only one that gets these looks! Just the other day one of the kids from the youth group came up to me and said "I like how you use adult words with your kids." :001_smile: And can I also say that I'm glad that my 4 year old isn't the only one with behavioral meltdowns?! One minute we're working on division and the next minute she's upset because she was given a green spoon instead of a pink. She definitely keeps me on my toes! I find that my approach is constantly changing. Luckily my husband is great at reminding me that despite all of the evidence, she is only 4 ;) When I spend my days teaching a 4 year old at a much higher level, I tend to forget that the emotions, attitudes, and behaviors are completely normal for her age. Of course she's completely thrown off my expectations, so now my almost 3 year old totally confuses me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillian Posted February 5, 2012 Author Share Posted February 5, 2012 I'm glad I'm not the only one that gets these looks! Just the other day one of the kids from the youth group came up to me and said "I like how you use adult words with your kids." :001_smile: And can I also say that I'm glad that my 4 year old isn't the only one with behavioral meltdowns?! One minute we're working on division and the next minute she's upset because she was given a green spoon instead of a pink. She definitely keeps me on my toes! I find that my approach is constantly changing. Luckily my husband is great at reminding me that despite all of the evidence, she is only 4 ;) When I spend my days teaching a 4 year old at a much higher level, I tend to forget that the emotions, attitudes, and behaviors are completely normal for her age. Of course she's completely thrown off my expectations, so now my almost 3 year old totally confuses me! I'm so happy I'm not the only one :) We've been sick lately, so she's been much more like a "normal" 4 year old....i.e. whiny and drama-filled than normal. It's totally throwing me off--egads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 I'm so happy I'm not the only one :) We've been sick lately, so she's been much more like a "normal" 4 year old....i.e. whiny and drama-filled than normal. It's totally throwing me off--egads. My DH once commented when DD was about that age that she regressed when she was tired. My mother looked at him and replied "No, it's simply that she ACTS HER AGE when she's tired!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillian Posted February 5, 2012 Author Share Posted February 5, 2012 My DH once commented when DD was about that age that she regressed when she was tired. My mother looked at him and replied "No, it's simply that she ACTS HER AGE when she's tired!" Lol. Yeah I think that's about right. She's being what a normal 4 year old would be like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rbsmrter Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 My DH once commented when DD was about that age that she regressed when she was tired. My mother looked at him and replied "No, it's simply that she ACTS HER AGE when she's tired!" I never thought about that it like that, but it's exactly right! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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