I'm a little depressed now!

[mom31257]

Dd just told me about how her friend's experience is going at the closest 4 year university system school. It was very bleak. This is the school that we thought dd would need to start at. We really can't afford much in the way of tuition (at least with out situation now).

 

First off, we are somewhat conservative Christians, so things that bother us may not bother others. Dd's friend says there's a huge amount of profanity on campus from both students and professors. She has not really made any friends because she doesn't really fit in with most of the student body. She says she sits in class, listens and takes notes, and thinks the professors probably don't know her name. This friend is a serious student who is definitely not into a pop-culture type lifestyle. She went to a small, Christian school where she was valedictorian.

 

Dh and I went to a great, Christian college. My college years were so much fun, and I certainly never had to deal with some of what she is (I didn't say everything because I don't want to start a debate).

 

I want a great experience for my dd, but how can she get it without us having much money. The college we went to is in the area where I have family, but it is expensive. They have some great scholarships if you have high scores, but I don't know how dd will do yet. She scores 99th percentile on her ITBS, but I don't think that's necessarily going to mean she will on the ACT/SAT. I think the school has a four year scholarship for 31+ on ACT or 1400+ for SAT.

 

What do we do if we can't afford to send her anywhere else?

[kalanamak]

I get depressed, too. I felt like the odd one out in all of my school experiences. I was either too straight and too punctual and too serious, or not straight enough (and certainly not rich enough), depending on the school. In the end, the only group I ever got on with were the Orthodox Jews. They didn't try to convert me, but they weren't grossly materialistic like the rest of the student body.

 

Life goes on, and I lived through school. I finally settled in a job where I am just perfect. :)

[oldskool]

I agree it is depressing. There is no freedom of thought in our university systems and it is hard to be conservative in this type of environment. I learned (the hard way) to give instructors what they wanted and to keep quiet on issues that I knew wouldn't hold I the popular opinion on. I remember being taken aside by an instructor and being warned about pursuing a topic that I wanted to give a presentation on. Pretty much I was told that if I did it, my grade would suffer. That is not to say that all courses and instructors are the same, but I would say the vast majority are. Luckily, I ended up majoring in philosophy where the department was open to debating issues and hearing multiple sides. Also, there are campus groups to join that can help be a support. Sorry I am not much help, but I wanted to share that I understand how hard it can be.

 

 

Lesley

[LaxMom]

Can she take her General Ed classes at the local community college, demonstrate college success (and an excellent gpa) and transfer with help based on that? CC is a lot less expensive and may help with her scholarship portfolio. And, while the behaviors are probably the same, she has her (your) home for lifestyle.

[mom31257]

Can she take her General Ed classes at the local community college, demonstrate college success (and an excellent gpa) and transfer with help based on that? CC is a lot less expensive and may help with her scholarship portfolio. And, while the behaviors are probably the same, she has her (your) home for lifestyle.

 

This college is close enough for her to stay home, and dd's friend is staying home, too. The only other school close by is a technical college.

 

I don't want to put tons of pressure on her about her scores, but she'll have a better shot of choosing where to go if they are high. I'll do all I can to help her prepare, and we'll try to get SAT prep books or classes. I'm just praying her good standardized tests thus far (every one of them is extremely high) will carry over to the tests that really count.

 

Thanks for the support everyone!

[Carrie12345]

Have you checked the list of schools that are eligible for the HOPE scholarship? If she's meeting the 99th percentiles on testing now, I'd think that the 85th percentile wouldn't be a huge reach for SAT/ACT.

[creekland]

This college is close enough for her to stay home, and dd's friend is staying home, too. The only other school close by is a technical college.

 

I don't want to put tons of pressure on her about her scores, but she'll have a better shot of choosing where to go if they are high. I'll do all I can to help her prepare, and we'll try to get SAT prep books or classes. I'm just praying her good standardized tests thus far (every one of them is extremely high) will carry over to the tests that really count.

 

Thanks for the support everyone!

 

I'll vote for putting time into doing really well on the ACT/SAT (try both as one might be better than the other). I was explaining to my boys the other day that the time they spend studying to get high scores = more in college money than any job they could possibly get (that's legal). It's proven true with my oldest (currently at a small Christian college which was less expensive overall than our in-state public) and it's proving true with my middle son (currently has an offer for a full tuition scholarship at an out of state public). The higher the scores, the more opportunities one has financially.

 

Then, remember, many schools have decent need based aid. Couple good merit aid with decent need based aid and high scoring students can have multiple options.

 

As a quick "other" thought... you might consider schools a decent distance away from home. Geographical diversity also provides aid at many schools. It's easy for colleges to appeal to those who live within 3 - 4 hours. It's harder for most to appeal to students 10+ hours away. Therefore, many tend to provide more aid to attract such students.

 

If your student is testing in the 99th percentile now, they have the capability to also do well on the SAT/ACT. However, for most, doing super well takes practice.

[Joyofsixreboot]

Not sure about your college BUT my dd is attending a small, religiously based college. (She got a scholarship.) Her experience has been about the same as your dd's friend. It is small and people know dd (who commutes) but they drink (which is forbidden by the college of course), curse, don't put much effort into their studies, etc. It has been disappointing to her how she seems to be surrounded by people who don't take their faith or their studies seriously.

[Lisbeth]

We're LDS and conservative, and hope for BYU. I understand this angst.

[Caribbean Queen]

I don't mean to scare you, but at the university I went to there was a lot worse things going on than cursing. I didn't make friends from most of my classes. I made friends from the local church, the dorms, sitting with acquaintances in the cafeteria, a prayer group...

 

I bet it's harder to find friends when you don't live on campus. Maybe that is why your daughter's friend didn't make friends. If your daughter enrolls in college and lives at home she can keep the same friends she already has. She doesn't have to make friends at her school. School could just be for - school. She could socialize outside of school.

[regentrude]

I think the school has a four year scholarship for 31+ on ACT or 1400+ for SAT.

 

Then she should prepare to do very well on the standardized tests and if necessary retake the tests.

Those numbers do not look astronomical to me, definitely doable.

[Lisa R.]

 

I don't want to put tons of pressure on her about her scores, but she'll have a better shot of choosing where to go if they are high. I'll do all I can to help her prepare, and we'll try to get SAT prep books or classes. I'm just praying her good standardized tests thus far (every one of them is extremely high) will carry over to the tests that really count.

 

 

I don't think you should put tons of pressure on her, but she should know that having very high test scores can be the golden ticket to a college education.

 

She sounds like she tests well. (Some very knowledgeable people struggle with test taking. Good to know that she's not one of them.) If she does some great SAT test prep, she can crank up her scores and receive some great merit-based scholarships. Also, if money is an issue, there are often generous need-based scholarships available too.

 

Getting high SAT or ACT scores helps greatly in gaining admittance and getting scholarships. If she's going directly to a four year college, I'd strongly suggest good SAT or ACT prep. Practice, practice, practice and those scores will go up.

 

Also, a huge cost saving is going to community college for the first two years. Also, living at home and going to community college helps avoid being around those immature college students that just received their first taste of freedom.

[LaxMom]

This college is close enough for her to stay home, and dd's friend is staying home, too. The only other school close by is a technical college.

 

I don't want to put tons of pressure on her about her scores, but she'll have a better shot of choosing where to go if they are high. I'll do all I can to help her prepare, and we'll try to get SAT prep books or classes. I'm just praying her good standardized tests thus far (every one of them is extremely high) will carry over to the tests that really count.

 

Thanks for the support everyone!

 

Sorry! I must have had a literacy lapse. For some reason I was thinking *her* 1400 on the SAT wasn't good enough to make the cut for scholarships. :tongue_smilie:

 

I would totally just help her study and build confidence for the test(s) then.

 

And what a sad statement about our society that lack of civility? decorum? whatever is so ingrained that it makes simply attending classes uncomfortable, without beig immersed in the social aspect of living on campus. I wonder what it's like when they let their hair down. :blink:

[Denise in Florida]

I have a quick btdt. I'll say upfront more depends on your daughter than on the school. This is not a judgement of your daughter or anyone's kids who are having trouble.

 

All the schools will be a mix of wild kids and quiet kids, studious kids and 'I am here until my money runs out kids'.

 

If your daughter can find friends/teams/clubs whatever where she fits in and can make a social group she will have a better chance of liking the school. Again, this is not a judgement of anyone's kids... a lot is luck. But there are rough crowds at 'good' schools and great kids at 'party schools'.

 

My dd20 found the 'perfect school' for her and got accepted and received a scholarship. Good price, great academics, right size, just far enough for independance yet within a short days drive of home. Yea!!... Then I started hearing stories....:tongue_smilie:... very, very very liberal, lots of drugs and nudity, high drop out rate, wild parties. A friend's dd went there and told her mom there had been a 'naked' pot luck in her dorm's common area the first week of classes. Yelp!!

 

DD decided she really wanted to go there and she loves it. She met friends with similar rigorous study habits, she finds the academics a challenge. She goes to a few parties and loves the dancing and singing, but says there is no pressure to drink or do drugs if you tell them you don't want to. She and a roommate joined the Jesus Club and have done some community service projects. Her friends are quirky, more comicbook store than bar hopping. She is abroad this semester and really misses her friends and campus.

 

I nearly wrote off an entire school because the party group is more visible than the regular students.

 

There are similar stories the other way around, good schools where good kids fall apart.

 

My best advice is:

 

Help your daughter focus on what kinds of people she wants to hang out with. Pray..pray..pray.. (My whole Bible Study group prayed for my daughter to find a 'good' place at school :lol:) And tell her she can come home immediately if she has to, that she is more important than any deposits or expenses you have made.

Edited November 19, 2011 by Denise in Florida
clarity

[melissel]

I don't mean to scare you, but at the university I went to there was a lot worse things going on than cursing. I didn't make friends from most of my classes. I made friends from the local church, the dorms, sitting with acquaintances in the cafeteria, a prayer group...

 

I bet it's harder to find friends when you don't live on campus. Maybe that is why your daughter's friend didn't make friends. If your daughter enrolls in college and lives at home she can keep the same friends she already has. She doesn't have to make friends at her school. School could just be for - school. She could socialize outside of school.

 

I was going to say the same thing. I commuted my first year and didn't meet anyone. For the rest of the college, my roommate was my best friend (still is :D), and while we were social, I didn't come out of college with any other friends that mattered. I did come out with a serious boyfriend, but I met him at work, not at school.

 

I think Caribbean Queen is right on: if your DD ends up in the same scenario, she should look to like-minded school groups/clubs or groups outside of school to make friends. As for the classes, something I didn't learn until it was far too late to benefit me in college is that no, at larger unis, your professors are probably not going to know your name unless you make yourself known to them in some way. Most of the professors that I met with one on one were more than happy to spend the extra time, get to know me, etc., but I had to go to office hours, say hello coming and going in the class or if I saw them outside of class, ask well-crafted questions and initiate discussions, etc. Otherwise, you are just another fish in the big pond, IYKWIM. Even doing well in classes won't make you known to the teachers. You have to get face time with them. (Unfortunately, I didn't learn that until late senior year, when it occurred to me to think about grad school and I realized I couldn't think of one professor who might care to write me letters of rec :()

 

I don't think you should panic about your DD's experience at college. You may just have to change your perspective on how she'll experience it all, you know?

[elfgivas]

fwiw, i think only rarely do we have a place and people who 100% match our values and personalities. the trick is in learning how to weave the life you want where you are. (variation on "bloom where you are planted").

 

it is simply much more work some places than others.

 

all that said, it only works if a person is not easily led, and has some idea of who they are and who they want to be.....

 

and i do so understand the longing for things to be other than they are.

 

ann

[ereks mom]

Dd just told me about how her friend's experience is going at the closest 4 year university system school. It was very bleak. This is the school that we thought dd would need to start at. We really can't afford much in the way of tuition (at least with out situation now).

 

First off, we are somewhat conservative Christians, so things that bother us may not bother others. Dd's friend says there's a huge amount of profanity on campus from both students and professors. She has not really made any friends because she doesn't really fit in with most of the student body. She says she sits in class, listens and takes notes, and thinks the professors probably don't know her name. This friend is a serious student who is definitely not into a pop-culture type lifestyle. She went to a small, Christian school where she was valedictorian.

 

Dh and I went to a great, Christian college. My college years were so much fun, and I certainly never had to deal with some of what she is (I didn't say everything because I don't want to start a debate).

 

ETA: ER has often commented on the poor behavior of some of the students at the schools he has attended. Not even Christian colleges are immune to that kind of thing.

 

I want a great experience for my dd, but how can she get it without us having much money. The college we went to is in the area where I have family, but it is expensive. They have some great scholarships if you have high scores, but I don't know how dd will do yet. She scores 99th percentile on her ITBS, but I don't think that's necessarily going to mean she will on the ACT/SAT. I think the school has a four year scholarship for 31+ on ACT or 1400+ for SAT.

 

What do we do if we can't afford to send her anywhere else?

 

ER attends a private, Christian college (in-state--same state as you). He started off at another private, Christian college, also in-state, and had to transfer because the first school discontinued his major. Cost of attendance at each of the two schools is in the neighborhood of $30,000 per year. We are far from financially well off, and we were pleasantly surprised to find out that both schools offer quite a bit of need-based financial aid. ER's first two years were completely covered because he had both merit aid and need-based aid. When he transferred last year as a junior, the picture wasn't quite as good, since most aid goes to incoming freshmen rather than transfer students, but this year, it's much better. He did qualify for federal student loans both years, but fortunately, he didn't have to borrow a huge amount.

Edited November 20, 2011 by ereks mom

[DianeW88]

We're LDS and conservative, and hope for BYU. I understand this angst.

 

My dd is at UVU in Orem, because BYU doesn't have a BFA in ballet. It is an amazing school....well over 95% LDS and she LOVES it. If BYU doesn't work out, try there. Or honestly, Utah State or Weber would be good, too. Anything but U of U in Utah if you're looking for a predominantly LDS atmosphere.

[J-rap]

It is very sad, but really -- I think the whole "college experience" thing these days is over-rated. I don't mean college itself, I mean the wonderful, fun, ideal environment that is supposed to go along with it. The world is changing, and it had already changed by the time I went to college (which was a private Christian college). That perfect college experience is indeed harder to find, but that doesn't mean all is lost. I think a student can usually find at least a similar group at ANY university, or if not on the campus itself, at a nearby church, club, etc.

There are certainly other opportunities now for kids that are very different from our college dream image, but they can be just as interesting and inspiring!

We are quite conservative Christians as well, and when my son went off to college in NYC, he knew right away he didn't want to live in the dorms. Instead, he lived in an all-male German-Catholic boarding house on the Upper East Side. (We are not Catholic, but it sounded like it would be a quieter, more regulated environment.) It was totally different from a dorm, that's for sure! But a combination of living there and a great church he got involved in helped to give him a wonderful college-year experience, one that he'll look back on with a smile.

One of my daughters attended a private Catholic university that was close to her relatives. She lived in the dorms the first semester, found that it wasn't at all what she wanted (dorm life, not the college itself), and then moved in with her grandmother for 2nd semester! She did have the opportunity to meet a nice group of girls there though, plus was involved in activities (choir, drama) that often attracts dedicated kids. This year she is on a semester abroad in Africa.

Neither of them have had the typical college experience, for sure, but both have had interesting and enjoyable years, and great academic classes.

And one last thing, my daughter attended a private university with a price tag of $30,000/year. She got a merit-based scholarship that paid for half, and then a French scholarship that -- to our surprise -- paid for the second half. So don't rule out private universities!

And I'm not saying that the ideal college experience is not out there, but just know that there are different ways of doing it, and they can be very good too! :)

[Samiam]

I think that college is more of a "real world experience". In that I mean, while they are in high school, especially homeschooling, you can keep them away from the majority of that. But out there, in the world, there are all kinds of folks, and one has to learn to deal with that. I feel that is why college is important as a "transition"....because you, as a parent, still offer guidance, yet the student must learn to weave their way around in the real world.

 

I would also keep in mind different people have different outlook's on situations. Just because your DD and this friend have similiar backgrounds, and are friends, doesn't mean they are exactly the same. Do we know if the girl has attempted to make friends, or does she just keep to herself? If the professors don't know her, has she ever went up and talked to them, or does she just slip out of class at the end and leave.

 

College is all about what you put in to it. If you just go to class, and do the work, well, that's what you get out of the experience. If you want more, you have to put more into it. You have join clubs, put yourself out there. There are plenty of Christian students at most colleges, and clubs and groups that cater to that.

 

I think that yes, it's can be an ugly environment if you focus on that, but unfortunately the real world is ugly....you just have to find that pretty spot.

[Matryoshka]

I went to the state U, which has a huge reputation as a party school. I was not a party girl.

 

I was accepted into the honors program, and requested an "academic" floor on the dorm. There were drugs, there was drinking, but I just didn't, and no one pressured me to. I still was able to find like-minded friends and have a good college experience.

 

I did stay far away from the party dorms and frat parties and such (I walked into one of those once, and then right back out - ew).

[TravelingChris]

My d is going to a large state university. She is in classes ranging from 15 to 75 this semester. All her professors know her. She sits in the front row, asks questions, answers questions, and talks to the professors or instructors at least some times after class. She has no problem in her dorm. Sometime after she decided to go to this university, she was panicked about the size of it. It hasn't turned into a problem. One thing she really likes is that next semester she will start helping with research in an area that she wanted to do for years- helping protect our country-in this case, against terrorism.

 

She hasn't been able to go to a Bible study like she wanted nor another club that she was interested in because of schedule conflicts but we will see with her schedule next semester.

[sgo95]

Lots of good advice, already. Absolutely invest time in practicing for standardized tests (they are not a measure of intelligence, they must be studied for). I got a full-ride scholarship at a prestigious public school based on my scores and grades.

 

There is no freedom of thought in our university systems and it is hard to be conservative in this type of environment. I learned (the hard way) to give instructors what they wanted and to keep quiet on issues that I knew wouldn't hold I the popular opinion on.

 

:iagree: This is true, so you have to go into certain fields with your eyes open. Even in fields that have nothing to to with "values", the vast majority of faculty members will still be left-leaning and there can absolutely be an intolerant environment towards conservative views.

 

I'll say upfront more depends on your daughter than on the school.

...

All the schools will be a mix of wild kids and quiet kids, studious kids and 'I am here until my money runs out kids'.

 

If your daughter can find friends/teams/clubs whatever where she fits in and can make a social group she will have a better chance of liking the school.

...

Help your daughter focus on what kinds of people she wants to hang out with. Pray..pray..pray.. (My whole Bible Study group prayed for my daughter to find a 'good' place at school :lol:) And tell her she can come home immediately if she has to, that she is more important than any deposits or expenses you have made.

&

fwiw, i think only rarely do we have a place and people who 100% match our values and personalities. the trick is in learning how to weave the life you want where you are. (variation on "bloom where you are planted").

 

it is simply much more work some places than others.

 

all that said, it only works if a person is not easily led, and has some idea of who they are and who they want to be.....

 

and i do so understand the longing for things to be other than they are.

 

ann

 

:iagree: You can make of it (the college experience) what you will. Even on the most liberal campuses in the most liberal areas, there will still be (lots of) university churches and student clubs that will fit your DD's interests. As a conservative, I don't want to insulate my children from "bad" influences forever. We can't, right? I want my kids to have a strong sense of what they believe (hopefully it agrees with what I believe) and I want them to be able to navigate the world successfully without compromising this.

 

... at larger unis, your professors are probably not going to know your name unless you make yourself known to them in some way. Most of the professors that I met with one on one were more than happy to spend the extra time, get to know me, etc., but I had to go to office hours, say hello coming and going in the class or if I saw them outside of class, ask well-crafted questions and initiate discussions, etc. Otherwise, you are just another fish in the big pond, IYKWIM. Even doing well in classes won't make you known to the teachers. You have to get face time with them.

...

I don't think you should panic about your DD's experience at college. You may just have to change your perspective on how she'll experience it all, you know?

 

:iagree: No one will go out of their way to hold your DD's hand through the college experience, but professors ARE available (and most often welcoming) to students if the students take the initiative to stay on top of the material, ask questions, and attend Office Hours to discuss issues (professors will absolutely a student then). I was in an anthropology class of 300 once where the professor often asked students to please visit his office hours (apparently no one had been going and he had been sitting there alone for weeks).

 

... I think a student can usually find at least a similar group at ANY university, or if not on the campus itself, at a nearby church, club, etc.

There are certainly other opportunities now for kids that are very different from our college dream image, but they can be just as interesting and inspiring!

...

Neither of them have had the typical college experience, for sure, but both have had interesting and enjoyable years, and great academic classes.

And one last thing, my daughter attended a private university with a price tag of $30,000/year. She got a merit-based scholarship that paid for half, and then a French scholarship that -- to our surprise -- paid for the second half. So don't rule out private universities!

And I'm not saying that the ideal college experience is not out there, but just know that there are different ways of doing it, and they can be very good too! :)

 

:iagree: If your DD is accepted, any college will put together an aid package. It may require loans on the part of your DD or you & DH, but they do try to make it possible for students to attend. You just have to balance whether you feel it's worth it to you.

Edited November 20, 2011 by sgo95
Overdid emoticons

[mom31257]

Thanks so much for the encouragement and ideas! You all are an awesome group!

[Irene Lynn]

Our dd is at a large state college this year. Yes, there is plenty of profanity and that bothers her, but she is learning not to be so thrown by it. Yes, there are plenty of parties with plenty of alcohol for underage students, but she doesn't go to them and is learning how to have compassion for people who make different, even illegal choices. This has been the hardest part for her, since she just wants to bop the girls up side their pretty little heads. :) The professors do know who she is, because she talks to them at least a little. She is sslllooowwwlllyy making friends. She does attend a Bible study and really enjoys those girls. She is in a Learning Community of only 26 Liberal Arts honors type students, so she rooms near the girls that are a part of that group and attends 2 classes with the whole group. This has forced her to get to know some other students. They are not as academic as she had hoped, but they are growing on her.

 

Our dd is a Christian, who is a very introverted conservative type of person. Her roommate is Muslim. It is a good fit. Neither of them drink and they won't bring any guys into the room. They get along well, though dd does get bothered by some of the language that her roommate uses when she talks to friends on the phone or on Skype. (Her roommate is very social, so she likes to talk a lot. :) ) She does not use coarse language, when she talks to our daughter. She really is a kind and friendly person. Our dd has found a place in the dorm that is usually vacant where she goes to study. She just had to learn that her room would not always be the best place to study. When her roommate talks on the phone, she is loud and our dd couldn't drown her out with headphones. Our dd doesn't study well with much noise going on, so she has found her answer for those times, when you just must get something done. That is life. Overall, her roommate also buckles down to study, so they try most of the time to be very thoughtful of each other. Our dd is just such an introvert and can't tune out noise that she is the one that needed to come up with some other options at times and she has.

 

Our dd also has a good friend on campus, who is also in her Learning Community, but is living over a mile and a half away on the other side of campus. (The friend was invited to be a part of the LC even though she would be living somewhere else.) It does help to have a friend, even if she can't hang out much at all. They try to go to church together and maybe do something on the weekend sometimes.

 

It really hasn't been too bad. It is not to the "Oh, this is the greatest thing in all the world" level, yet, but next semester she will get to work on some research with a professor and that should make things go up a notch. :) She has had several comments from her professors or graduate student teachers (the grad students have been great!) that have really encouraged her. It does a mommy's heart good to hear that others are encouraging her kiddo. :)

 

Take heart. It doesn't have to be bad, because it is for someone else. I really was worried about our dd's adjustment to the state college, but it is going well.

[ZooRho]

Not sure about your college BUT my dd is attending a small, religiously based college. (She got a scholarship.) Her experience has been about the same as your dd's friend. It is small and people know dd (who commutes) but they drink (which is forbidden by the college of course), curse, don't put much effort into their studies, etc. It has been disappointing to her how she seems to be surrounded by people who don't take their faith or their studies seriously.

my son is at a small Christian college and yep he is having these same issues.

 

And hypocrisy is an even tougher issue for him, by both students and the staffing/prof/adults at the school.

 

In fact he more than likely is leaving before he graduates and is exploring options for finishing his degree elsewhere

[Excelsior! Academy]

Have you considered the College Plus route? It would definitely be cheaper financially. You could just CLEP the general ed classes and then go into a University as an upper class-man. By then most college kids have their party days out of their systems and are ready to settle down and study. It would put her in classes with less immaturity. It might not help at the dorms, but you could request a roommate or even have her commute, if possible.

[sbgrace]

I went to a large state university. I joined and became very active in an InterVarsity Christian Fellowship group there. That was my core group and my friends there shared my values. My closest friend lived off campus and commuted. I did not make friends in my college classes but I did become friends with my roommate. I did go to a Christian Univ. my freshman year. On the Christian campus everyone went to chapel. I did have friends there like me but my roommate at that school was, um, not living a spiritual life to put it mildly but her parents thought she was. She found plenty of people like her there. The thing about it is the people in Christian groups on a secular campus are likely doing it because they are truly sincere.

 

I don't remember most professors taking an interest in me outside of those in my very small major group and that was later--not in the large general type classes. As I got along in my studies/major I took lots of courses from those same professors. My husband's experience was similar in his professors as he got along in his major (accounting). His friends in college were very close and he met them in his dorm.

 

There are all sorts of people anywhere. FWIW, I was a public school teacher for 10 years. Some of my coworkers used profanity, drank on the week-ends, etc. and I had little in common with them. Others were a lot like me. I met my closest friends outside of that through shared interests. The same will be true of college likely so think of college as prep for life.

[nd293]

I couldn't imagine myself fitting in at University (not Christian by then, but introverted, with "traditional" values), and opted to work full time in a clerical job and study correspondence. I completed a 3 year degree in 4 years, worked for one more year, and then did a 2 year coursework Master's Degree. At post grad level at least some of the students are older and more settled and mature, so the experience was pretty close to what I hoped for. Although it wasn't all quite as intentional as it sounds, it worked out well for me. I wasn't looking for a social experience at University, but rather an intellectual one, and I did get that, while meeting some interesting people.

Edited November 20, 2011 by nd293

[LNC]

I pmd you!