Jean in Newcastle Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 I realize that we are in various stages of life and have different circumstances which impact our decisions, but I'm wondering about priorities. (This is a spin-off of both the "Can you do it all well" threads on schooling and housework.) There is an overarching priority to me to be a good wife and mother which governs my choices. And there is a micro ebb and flow in my life as some things become more important for a day or two but in general these are my priorities: Character training and discipling of my kids. (This is not a typo of discipline but refers to my kids being disciples of Jesus) Schooling which includes schooling my kids in our faith. I've chosen less teacher intensive curricula in the past due to my health (see below) but right now the more teacher intensive rigorous approach is best for my kids. I've chosen to make it a priority. It takes a huge amount of time and effort for me. My health. This has a huge impact on my life due to my chronic issues. Food. Good food is really important esp. to my husband's and my health. But I do take out on occasion because it isn't the highest priority. Church. Not just because it benefits my family but because it is important to me. Our pets. Important because I've made a commitment to take care of them and I take that responsibility seriously. (Obviously we love them too.) This took center stage for a month with Libby's accident but has now gone back to this spot. Friends/Family. This ebbs and flows but some regular contact is important to me and to my friends and family. Housework. Yes, it's pretty far down the list. I would like a cleaner house and spend a lot of time whining to Rough Collie on the subject but other priorities are higher. Yardwork. I actually enjoy this and would put it higher if I could, but in the scheme of responsibilities and making choices, it has to come down here. Hobbies. So far down the list that it often comes out as "hobbies?" How about you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Getting my CPA. Ultimately this will benefit my dc greatly, even if it requires some sacrifice now. Keeping dc moving forward academically. It may not be my "ideal", but I don't think they'll be permanently harmed if they aren't getting what I wish I could give them. My weight - I need to lose the rest. That's it. I had to narrow what I really wanted to accomplish in order to make it doable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 My family's heath which includes exercise, nutrition, a peaceful home and our spiritual well being. School Finances (Part of having a peaceful home includes keeping it tidy.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 losing weight...I am at the top of my list for once. family church/character training- God always comes very first...this is the actual going to church/Awana schooling getting out of debt/spending less/etc housework pets hobbies doesnt even hit my list. I dont really care to do anything anymore. Gave up scrapbooking, cant afford to go horseback riding, dont like to shop or craft, can barely sit long enough to make it through a book.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenangelcat Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Self sufficiency is right at the top. We grew the majority of our veg and dairy this year and all of our meat. The plan for the next decade is to move to solar power and provide all our produce, dairy and meat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Right now, I'm working on me for a season. Losing weight, listening to God, gaining confidence in all that I do. This is rolled up into a lot of things. Boundaries, teaching, eating right, taking risks, becoming a better teacher and parent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 1) Being there for my kids as long as they "need" me. This includes keeping my health in decent shape so that I don't check out of this hotel early. (Currently my health is good, but I'm no spring chicken, so I have to be mindful.) It also includes maintaining healthy parent-child relationships that will mature into good parent-adult relationships (I hope). 2) Preparing my kids to succeed in life. This includes teaching them about love, discipline, and academics; and taking care of their health. 3) Improving my self-discipline so that I can meet my own highest potential and reduce the stress of guilt. (Job stuff, mostly.) 4) Taking care of my extended family emotionally and offering support. This is not big, partly because I'm only one of 6 kids, but I do try do what I can, when I can. 5) Material security. Right now I don't really "work on" this other than to be somewhat frugal. Obviously it would be higher on the list if we were currently insecure. 6) Pure fun and hobbies - these are mostly just memories in the back of my head. I will say that they are important as far as keeping my brain in working order. So they probably deserve just a little more emphasis. I didn't even list housework. I do housework as I go, kinda like we all flush the toilet without it being a separate task. When I am short on time, I will adjust our plans so we generate the least possible mess. I do have a couple of ladies come in for a few hours per month to do the basics. I also find housework enjoyable, so it's kind of a non-guilty hobby when I have time for it. I'm probably forgetting something really important - I wonder what it is . . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauracolumbus Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 losing weight...I am at the top of my list for once. family church/character training- God always comes very first...this is the actual going to church/Awana schooling getting out of debt/spending less/etc housework pets hobbies doesnt even hit my list. I dont really care to do anything anymore. Gave up scrapbooking, cant afford to go horseback riding, dont like to shop or craft, can barely sit long enough to make it through a book.... This could be me, but I put my family first and I'm finally moving up the list. I really need to focus on my health more. I mean for goodness sakes the dogs get more trips to the doc than I do. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Getting this baby out. Oh, I guess you probably meant a little more long term than that. :D Hmmm...Probably enjoying my children while they are still young and instilling Godly values in them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 (edited) nm tmi Edited October 22, 2011 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 I have lower standards, Jean. The three Rs, a clean even if not neat house, basic manners in my child, and keeping my job. The rest is gravy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Getting this baby out. That's what I was going to say. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 This could be me, but I put my family first and I'm finally moving up the list. I really need to focus on my health more. I mean for goodness sakes the dogs get more trips to the doc than I do. Laura I have always put family and others ahead of myself and I was drowning. Well, I cut back on the "others" and put me in front of the family because it is absolutely true that I cannot help others if I am not helping myself. This weight loss is the best thing to ever happen to me...I am healthy, I look and feel better, I am inspiring others and able to help more people than I could before. It took me years to realize I needed to do this....but I am living proof that it works. :) I totally encourage people to just pick one thing to do for yourself that helps you maintain health and balance in your life!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauracolumbus Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Kwickimom, Wow, you've done an amazing job on your weight loss. I can see how you are such an inspiration to others. I think about that w/my kids. I don't want them to see me as the heavy mom. Thanks for sharing, Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Ds - continue to improve on self discipline, learning to stick with something even when it is hard. Me - get black belt. That should also help improve health and fitness, and have me looking good for my high school reunion next summer. Dh - provide more nutritious meals for him. His metabolism is starting to slow down a bit and he needs to change his eating habits now to avoid health issues in the future - his cholesterol is already borderline. General family issues - reducing debt, keeping a cleaner house and yard, increasing self sufficiency by raising more meat animals and expanding the garden and moving toward setting up a hybrid wind/solar power system. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 22, 2011 Author Share Posted October 22, 2011 I have always put family and others ahead of myself and I was drowning. Well, I cut back on the "others" and put me in front of the family because it is absolutely true that I cannot help others if I am not helping myself. This weight loss is the best thing to ever happen to me...I am healthy, I look and feel better, I am inspiring others and able to help more people than I could before. It took me years to realize I needed to do this....but I am living proof that it works. :) I totally encourage people to just pick one thing to do for yourself that helps you maintain health and balance in your life!! I've put myself and my health much higher than it used to be. But school has shot up to the top because ds is now in high school. That has changed things up for me, big time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 1) Being there for my kids as long as they "need" me. This includes keeping my health in decent shape so that I don't check out of this hotel early. (Currently my health is good, but I'm no spring chicken, so I have to be mindful.) It also includes maintaining healthy parent-child relationships that will mature into good parent-adult relationships (I hope). 2) Preparing my kids to succeed in life. This includes teaching them about love, discipline, and academics; and taking care of their health. 3) Improving my self-discipline so that I can meet my own highest potential and reduce the stress of guilt. (Job stuff, mostly.) 4) Taking care of my extended family emotionally and offering support. This is not big, partly because I'm only one of 6 kids, but I do try do what I can, when I can. 5) Material security. Right now I don't really "work on" this other than to be somewhat frugal. Obviously it would be higher on the list if we were currently insecure. 6) Pure fun and hobbies - these are mostly just memories in the back of my head. I will say that they are important as far as keeping my brain in working order. So they probably deserve just a little more emphasis. I didn't even list housework. I do housework as I go, kinda like we all flush the toilet without it being a separate task. When I am short on time, I will adjust our plans so we generate the least possible mess. I do have a couple of ladies come in for a few hours per month to do the basics. I also find housework enjoyable, so it's kind of a non-guilty hobby when I have time for it. I'm probably forgetting something really important - I wonder what it is . . . . As I will be starting a full time job on November 1st, my list will now resemble this. Thanks for typing it all out.:001_smile: Your #5 is higher on my list at the present time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Family/ Parenting and schooling my children Work (which is more than just a job for money- something I truly love) Hobbies with family (hiking, rock climbing) and without (vocal music) Keeping in touch with extended family and friends Housework is far down the list Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Family/ Parenting and schooling my childrenWork (which is more than just a job for money- something I truly love) Hobbies with family (hiking, rock climbing) and without (vocal music) Keeping in touch with extended family and friends Housework is far down the list Housework didn't even make my list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeegal Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 1. Keeping the babies safe and healthy while they're in the danger stage of life (under 3 and mobile). :glare: 2. Pleasant house, marriage, and family life. 3. Prep older 2 boys for leaving the house. (Education, lifeskills, character, etc.) 4. Educate middle 2 kids and ensure they're not lost in the crowd. 5. Stay sane. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 22, 2011 Author Share Posted October 22, 2011 5. Stay sane. ;) That's a good one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 1. Getting control of both personal and business financial record keeping. We have to pay the federal government considerably more for the 4th quarter 2011 estimated taxes than we had anticipated. 2. Prepare more home-cooked meals to reduce reliance on take-out. 3. Take a short affordable trip somewhere. 4. Dejunk problem spots in my house and garage. I am not much of a long range planner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 1) Restoring my husband's mind. (This sounds strange, I know, but he had a left-hemisphere stroke as some of you know, and is learning how to speak, read, write, think, and problem solve again.) 2) Deepening our faith and that of our children. I want my children to know that even in the midst of a great tragedy, God is still in control, and His gift of life to us is still a wonderful blessing. 3) Helping to prepare my children for going out in the the world on their own. My children are older and are either at the brink of going out on their own, in the midst of it, or just recently have. Though I'm still homeschooling our youngest, academics is not a priority as much anymore as simply preparing their hearts and their minds for life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 my health.....helping my son grow into a happy/healthy/well rounded young man.....helping him grow and learn and learn about the world.....keeping my marriage healthy......trying to get rid of stress...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 How things should flow... God/ church-w/o this focus I get crazy Family-working on our relationships School-you know Food-it's my hobby and pleasure. I regularly get these out of whack. One thing gets tons more attention than the others. I'm working on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 My priorities are ever changing. The last 17 months have been just surviving. Doing the best I can on any given day. Some days that means school, some days that means housework, some days that means being a super fun - living life as if you may be in a car accident and die tomorrow type of mom. I don't have a very specific priority other than loving my kids with no regrets. That is the best my husband and I can seem to manage these days. Not to say we don't do and make decisions, plan for the future, etc. We do. I have also learned to just go with it in a much different way than I ever was before our son passed away. I am much quicker to embrace fun and memories than I used to. I guess because I really get the live in the here and now thing a whole lot more than I used to. And with that... my priority at the moment is to take my dd to see Footloose tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Balance- on a day to day level, but in all areas of life. Balancing rest and work, cleaning and creating, mothering and self-nurturing. My priority is shifting away from my kids being the main focus of my life. That feels healthy at this stage. I am taking care of them with love and plenty of attention, but my life is not revolving around them any more as it did for many years. It is an adjustment for all of us but we seem to have entered a new phase where they need to start seeing me as a real person, with needs and wants of my own, not just "mum". Slowly slowly. Eating well is a pretty high priority. Keeping my new home tidy seems to be a fairly high priority. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 My priorities are... 1.My kids- they are only young once and, as they are getting older, I am feeling more of a need to help them achieve their goals and prepare them for their adult lives. Sometimes I have difficult decisions to make concerning one child in particular and that takes a lot of my time and mental energy. 2. Staying on top of our schedule and making sure each child gets their needs met...there are times when one or another needs more of our resources like time and money so making sure everyone gets what they need becomes difficult. 3. Making sure my kids get "down" time here and there...which allows me a bit of down time as well. 4. We are slowly remodeling our home and decluttering after downsizing a couple years ago. Still trying to make this house "work" for us and our needs. 5. Spending time with my parents and having my kids spend time with them. After those things, everything else gets fit in when we are able. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I'm enjoying this thread. My children are grown with one still left at home so my priorities are less kid-centered than anytime in the last 27 years. Weird feeling. :tongue_smilie: My priorities... 1. God more, church less and less. That ratio is difficult to maintain since I've spent a few years doing more church and not as much God. Old habits... 2. My marriage. Both my husband and I are working in new kinds of jobs...we are having to re-adjust our dance steps together. 3. My work. It's time for me to make some serious moola to boost our income and pad the retirement accounts. 4. Friends, extended family. 5. Health. This needs to go up the scale...I need to lose an immediate 10lbs and get back into my walking habit. I *need* exercise for good mental health. 6. Hobbies. A few creative outlets keep me balanced and sane--no not sane. Happy. Gardening, writing, and stained glass are my favorites. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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