What should I do? WWYD? Please chime in! (some TMI, sorry)

[plain jane]

My dd is in a girls' club and they are doing a special away weekend this weekend. It's a time of bonding, light spiritual enrichment, making friendships, learning things, etc. Very nice. Very expensive. She's so excited to go and dh and I really want this for her. It runs Friday afternoon to Sunday evening.

 

Thing is, we have the cruds around here since Monday 10 days ago. Most of my kids have or have had coughs and congestion- thick mucus congestion. Fun stuff. LOL This dd has had a bit of cough and on Tuesday felt like she was getting a sore throat but managed to fight it off in less than 12 hours. She's fine now, no symptoms, nothing since Tuesday.

 

On top of the respiratory cruds that have been going on for the last week, on Sunday night dh (who has not been at all affected by this cold) had an episode of vomit and proceeded to feel perfectly fine right after. It hit him all of a sudden and within 15 min of first starting to feel weird, he felt 100% again. :confused: We weren't sure if it was something he ate but we'd all eaten the same food. To be fair, having on such episode seems to be a typical reaction for dh vs. the rest of us sick for, well, regular stomach flu time periods. :glare: But, he just felt 100% right after. :confused:

 

On Tuesday night (48 hrs after dh) I had an upset stomach. No symptoms, just cramps. My stomach has felt wonky since then- not much appetite but again no abnormal symptoms, no running to bathroom or anything. My stomach sometimes feels weird like this since I have had some gallbladder issues in recent past so I don't know this is related to dh or not. The timing is suspect at best although we did eat a big platter of spicy chicken wings that evening. :tongue_smilie: I was able to fight off the cold by taking a ton of vitamins so perhaps I boosted my immune to fight off a stomach bug too?

 

Today, my 5yo took a turn for the worst. Cough got worse- very persistent and he just looked worse than he had, though not altogether terrible, if that makes any sense. He was more lethargic, but still up playing. The cough is pretty bad though, clearly he's not fighting this off too well. He went to bed after eating a small bowl of cereal (distracted by a movie more than anything :rolleyes) and woke an hour and a half ago throwing up. :willy_nilly: It was just the one episode so far and he's back to sleeping (and coughing)

 

We have been out this week (including to the PS ;), but the kids didn't touch anything, except my 2 boys who opened the front doors :glare: but I washed their hands thoroughly upon getting home) so I don't know if ds is sick to stomach due to what dh had, if what I had was related, and where ds' stomach sick is coming from. :confused:

 

All this to say, I don't know what to do about dd's away camp. There's a lot of things I don't want:

 

1. Her to miss camp on the chance she might get sick, but she doesn't get sick and she misses this special time

 

2. Her to go to camp, and get sick there and

(a) be all alone without mom & dad (2+ hour drive to get her)

(b) be embarrassed to be sick in front of her peers and potentially scared

© pass on cruds to other people.

(d) have to drive 2+ hours to get her and then force a nauseated child to drive home for 2+ hours.

 

Dh says she's not sick, send her. I'm leaning towards keeping her home but part of me is on the fence so I'm asking here. I will ask dd what she thinks in the morning.

 

What should I do? What would you do?

Edited October 21, 2011 by plain jane

[Mama2Many4]

With all the sickness that's been going around in your household I'd keep her home. Even if she's not showing symptoms herself, she can be a carrier of the virus'. I would be livid if I sent my healthy child somewhere to get sick by another child that came from a household of sickness. You're doing the right thing by keeping her home.

[plain jane]

With all the sickness that's been going around in your household I'd keep her home. Even if she's not showing symptoms herself, she can be a carrier of the virus'. I would be livid if I sent my healthy child somewhere to get sick by another child that came from a household of sickness. You're doing the right thing by keeping her home.

 

That's what I'm thinking too. I'm not too concerned about the respiratory stuff. She had it and is over it and I doubt she's contagious. She's got the better immune system than the littler folk and I'm quite sure that's why she was over it so fast. Plus it was a couple days ago and she's still better.

 

It's the stomach stuff I dunno about.

 

I typically always ere on the side of staying home. Always. (it drives my family batty how paranoid I am) But I've read several times on here that not all family members get everything and that people do send their healthy ones out in situations like this. I just don't know what the right thing to do is.

 

If it makes any difference the girls she is going with are mostly all PS kids. :tongue_smilie:

 

ETA: that last part was not to say that we don't like PS kids or care about their health. :) Just to say that the kids are... well, in a more germy environment every day.

 

Ugh. Now I can't sleep over this. And it's really really late. :(

Edited October 21, 2011 by plain jane

[Cammie]

I think I would let her decide. That way if she chooses to stay home you are not the bad guy for making her miss an event. However, if she is really worried about getting sick in front of her friends she can make that decision. Again, if she chooses to go and ends up sick there, you are not the bad guy for sending her someplace she would have to wait to get picked up from.

 

With her showing no symptoms, I would probably send her. But I think I would defer to her decision in this. She knows best whether she would rather misk missing something or rather risk getting sick away from home.

 

Good luck! Hope she stays healthy!

[Jean in Newcastle]

If you don't have this at home, I would run down to the drugstore and get oscillococcillum. It is an anti-viral homeopathic remedy which has gone mainstream (ie. it is pretty accepted by people who normally don't accept these kinds of remedies as being something that works). I would have her take it. It is little sweet tasting pellets that she melts under her tongue. Then I would let her go. (Provided she has had no bad symptoms between now and then of course.)

[LidiyaDawn]

I don't make healthy people stay home ~ I'd agree with your husband.. if she's healthy at going-time, she can go. :)

[Pippen]

Dh says she's not sick, send her.?

 

:iagree:

[Margo out of lurking]

Dh says she's not sick, send her.

 

:iagree:, as long as she wants to go.

 

You asked both what you should, and what another would do. The other thing I would do is try very, very, very, very hard to NOT comment IF you do have to go pick her up. Very hard. Everyone will know what you're thinking anyway, and it will just be better if you don't actually say it.:D

 

As my kids have gotten older, I worry less about them being germ factories.

 

:grouphug:

[Harriet Vane]

She's not sick. Let her go.

[ktgrok]

I think the other kid's vomiting was from the coughing. Let her go.

[NanceXToo]

I don't make healthy people stay home ~ I'd agree with your husband.. if she's healthy at going-time, she can go. :)

 

:iagree:

[JudoMom]

I would let her go.

[amydavis]

I don't make healthy people stay home ~ I'd agree with your husband.. if she's healthy at going-time, she can go. :)

 

:iagree:

 

I think the other kid's vomiting was from the coughing. Let her go.

 

:iagree:

[unsinkable]

I wouldn't ASK my DD what she wanted to do in this situation.

 

What if she says she wants to go and you say NO?

 

I wouldn't do that to my child. I'd make the decision (which in this case would be to send her.)

[Chris in VA]

I'd definitely send her. Definitely.

Looking at your list of fears--

 

1. Being all alone w/o Mom and Dad--she's not going to be alone. She'll have wonderful support if she does get sick. And I know you would come quickly.

 

2. Being embarrassed to get sick in front of her friends--If they are friends, they'll understand and be kind. And she probably wouldn't throw up right in front of them but be in a bathroom.

 

3. Being scared to be sick--She's vomited before, right? It's unpleasant, but not a fearsome thing. If she didn't know why she was throwing up, that could be fearful, but she would know the reason.

 

4. Pass on cruds to other people--You just can't know about what is passed on in most cases, because so many viruses are passed on before they are even symptomatic. If you live in fear of this, then you'd never go anywhere, since you can't tell what you've been exposed to!

 

5. Have to drive 2+ hours to get her if she's sick--Well, that's just an inconvenience, not really concerning her. Suck it up if it happens. (said gently :D)

 

6. Forcing her to be in a car for 2+ hours with nausea--There's stuff you can take for that. It's not fun, but it's not the end of the world. By that time, anyway, your child would probably be ok.

 

By the way you wrote your post, I can tell you are anxious. :grouphug: You are using words like "being all alone," "embarassed," "scared," "forcing"--Just sounds like you are spinning it to be worse than it is.

 

I know it's hard, but I'd definitely send her. :001_smile:

[Mama2Many4]

I'd definitely send her. Definitely.

Looking at your list of fears--

 

1. Being all alone w/o Mom and Dad--she's not going to be alone. She'll have wonderful support if she does get sick. And I know you would come quickly.

 

2. Being embarrassed to get sick in front of her friends--If they are friends, they'll understand and be kind. And she probably wouldn't throw up right in front of them but be in a bathroom.

 

3. Being scared to be sick--She's vomited before, right? It's unpleasant, but not a fearsome thing. If she didn't know why she was throwing up, that could be fearful, but she would know the reason.

 

4. Pass on cruds to other people--You just can't know about what is passed on in most cases, because so many viruses are passed on before they are even symptomatic. If you live in fear of this, then you'd never go anywhere, since you can't tell what you've been exposed to!

 

5. Have to drive 2+ hours to get her if she's sick--Well, that's just an inconvenience, not really concerning her. Suck it up if it happens. (said gently :D)

 

6. Forcing her to be in a car for 2+ hours with nausea--There's stuff you can take for that. It's not fun, but it's not the end of the world. By that time, anyway, your child would probably be ok.

 

By the way you wrote your post, I can tell you are anxious. :grouphug: You are using words like "being all alone," "embarassed," "scared," "forcing"--Just sounds like you are spinning it to be worse than it is.

 

I know it's hard, but I'd definitely send her. :001_smile:

 

This is not true for some people. I have a paralyzing fear of it. A debilitating, paralyzing fear.

[Jennifer in MI]

Awww. Let her go. She's not sick. :grouphug:

 

Hope you all feel better soon!

[kwickimom]

This is not true for some people. I have a paralyzing fear of it. A debilitating, paralyzing fear.

 

me too. Its irrational, but I have it. I often get anxious before trips and holidays thinking "what happens if I throw up?" Its totally insane.

 

I wasnt going to chime in because of my fear, but we just went through this over here. 3YO sick with everything...cough, fever, vomiting, diarrhea....and my other 2 never caught it. Its been 8 days since he got sick and no one else got it. It was so unlike me, but I let dd go to a friends house (did warn friends parents that 3YO was ill) 2 days later and we have been going to all activities and such and its been fine.

 

My new rule so that I dont let my fears ruin my kids lives is: if I have one child puker, I keep everyone in for 48 hours and if they don't get it, they can go wherever.

[Chris in VA]

This is not true for some people. I have a paralyzing fear of it. A debilitating, paralyzing fear.

 

I'm sorry! :grouphug:

 

Ok, I'll amend my advice--if OP's dd doesn't have that paralyzing fear, then my advice stands.

[Starr]

Let her go. It she gets sick go pick her up.

[In The Great White North]

I don't make healthy people stay home ~ I'd agree with your husband.. if she's healthy at going-time, she can go. :)

 

:iagree:

[TXMomof4]

I'd definitely send her. Definitely.

Looking at your list of fears--

 

1. Being all alone w/o Mom and Dad--she's not going to be alone. She'll have wonderful support if she does get sick. And I know you would come quickly.

 

2. Being embarrassed to get sick in front of her friends--If they are friends, they'll understand and be kind. And she probably wouldn't throw up right in front of them but be in a bathroom.

 

3. Being scared to be sick--She's vomited before, right? It's unpleasant, but not a fearsome thing. If she didn't know why she was throwing up, that could be fearful, but she would know the reason.

 

4. Pass on cruds to other people--You just can't know about what is passed on in most cases, because so many viruses are passed on before they are even symptomatic. If you live in fear of this, then you'd never go anywhere, since you can't tell what you've been exposed to!

 

5. Have to drive 2+ hours to get her if she's sick--Well, that's just an inconvenience, not really concerning her. Suck it up if it happens. (said gently :D)

 

6. Forcing her to be in a car for 2+ hours with nausea--There's stuff you can take for that. It's not fun, but it's not the end of the world. By that time, anyway, your child would probably be ok.

 

By the way you wrote your post, I can tell you are anxious. :grouphug: You are using words like "being all alone," "embarassed," "scared," "forcing"--Just sounds like you are spinning it to be worse than it is.

 

I know it's hard, but I'd definitely send her. :001_smile:

 

:iagree:

Take a deep breath mom - let her go and if she gets sick, it's definitely a learning experience. Right?

[Trish]

:iagree:, as long as she wants to go.

 

You asked both what you should, and what another would do. The other thing I would do is try very, very, very, very hard to NOT comment IF you do have to go pick her up. Very hard. Everyone will know what you're thinking anyway, and it will just be better if you don't actually say it.:D

 

As my kids have gotten older, I worry less about them being germ factories.

 

:grouphug:

 

 

Well what would this comment be? "I shouldn't have let you go, I wanted the best for you, but didn't listen to my misgivings..."

 

:confused:

[kitten18]

I don't make healthy people stay home ~ I'd agree with your husband.. if she's healthy at going-time, she can go. :)

:iagree:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Suck it up if it happens.

 

Are you SURE you want to say that in this context?:lol:

[AK_Mom4]

Healthy kids don't need to stay home.

It's unlikely she would get sick at this point, but if she does then you will just have to go pick her up. I sympathize with the 2 hour drive - it takes forever to get ANYWHERE here, but you would also have a two hour drive if she fell and sprained her ankle. Not a good enough reason to keep a kid home who isn't sick.

[goldberry]

I agree with healthy kids don't need to stay home.

 

However, I was recently criticized as being thoughtless when I sent my DD to a sleepover after I had been sick that week. In addition, I was sick from something I CAUGHT from DD, who was sick the week before but was now well. My take was, I caught it from her, so she wasn't going to catch it AGAIN from me.

 

The friend who criticized me said, "Well, it could mutate and then she could catch it again..." She honestly thought I was inconsiderate to send her to the sleepover, although she was perfectly healthy.

 

Sorry though...didn't get it and still don't get it. If the kid is healthy they don't need to stay home.

[Running the race]

She's not sick. Let her go.

[Julie in CA]

If it were me, if she feels well, I'd be sending my dd, no question about it.

[In2why]

I don't make healthy people stay home ~ I'd agree with your husband.. if she's healthy at going-time, she can go. :)

 

:iagree:

[Parker Martin]

If she's not sick, I'd send her. It's not a perfect world. Germs are everywhere. Think of how many germs one encounters during a visit to the grocery store. When kids get together it's unreasonable for anyone to expect that no child in the group has any possibility of asymptomatically carrying any illness.