UmMusa Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 It makes me twitch when I see pictures of women I know, who are married, who are out at a bar/restaurant/party and some MAN who is not her husband has his arm around her or is extremetly close to her. Ok, I admit I'm conservative in my faith, so obviously I"m going to feel this, but I wasn't a religious person, and it still bothered me then. I feel like asking "why are you letting this kind of closeness happen and this kind of social intimacy happen??". :( It's with women I love and are close either as family or friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Why does it bother YOU? It's not as if that man has his arm around, or is "extremely close" to YOU… :confused: People have different levels of comfort with physical affection… what you see as something "twitchy" might be just fine with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I understand where you're coming from... but as a person who expresses herself physically with everyone I love (I mean hugs & kisses on the cheek with my friends-- male or female), I'll have to gently disagree. My husband knew I was affectionate like that before he married me, KWIM? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 As a military family our friends become our family. The guys kiss me on the cheek. They hug me. They put their arm around me for a photo. They are like my brothers or brothers-in-law. There is intimacy, but not a romantic type of intimacy. If something happened to my husband, they are the ones who would bring him home. They are the ones I call when my dh is gone and there is a mouse in my house. Most of us are Christians, some are extremely conservative. If you don't have those types of relationships, that is fine, but don't put your stuff on other people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I understand completely. One thing leads to another. I've seen this kind of stuff lead to broken marriages. I'd be very upset if I saw my husband in a picture like that. With maybe one exception. At his class reunion everybody was hugging and kissing. But everybody's spouses were there too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MHowell Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I understand where you're coming from... but as a person who expresses herself physically with everyone I love (I mean hugs & kisses on the cheek with my friends-- male or female), I'll have to gently disagree. My husband knew I was affectionate like that before he married me, KWIM? This is me to a point, I have a couple very close guy friends that I will hug and kiss on the cheek (like I do my brothers). I always have, and always will. That said, there is a big difference between friends and strangers. I wouldn't hug someone I barely know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 This is me to a point, I have a couple very close guy friends that I will hug and kiss on the cheek (like I do my brothers). I always have, and always will. That said, there is a big difference between friends and strangers. I wouldn't hug someone I barely know. I do agree with that. Also, there are some guys I am careful never to touch because of the vibe they give off. But, the original post seems to put all of these sorts of photos in the same category. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UmMusa Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 I know what you mean about one or two close male friends you can hug and kiss and not worry about the wrong idea. I used to be like that before. But to see guy after guy in pictures of parties all hugzy wugzy and stuff, that's what I don't like. I know I'm probably in the minority here, but I know I wouldn't like to see another woman kiss my husband on the cheek or have him putting his arm around her either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Well, maybe a bar scene would bother me if I knew the woman was not in a happy marriage anyway, but I grew up and attended boarding school most of my life. Those guys are my brothers and when they come to visit we get pictures. I have pictures with just me and a guy friend I grew up with up close. Now, my DH is in the same room usually or at least another friend is, we aren't out alone, but still....I would be very upset if someone got some odd ideas from those photos. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I'm best friends with two guys and we're all over each other. DH is less demonstrative but he has been known to hug and/or pat his co-workers and friends. I've never thought anything of it and I'm glad of that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Well, it does bother me. Dh and I try to set appropriate boundries with members of the opposite gender. I can see that it could be brothers or other close situations but often, that is NOT the case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I understand where you're coming from... but as a person who expresses herself physically with everyone I love (I mean hugs & kisses on the cheek with my friends-- male or female), I'll have to gently disagree. My husband knew I was affectionate like that before he married me, KWIM? Me too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I know exactly what you mean. I'm not embroidering any letters or anything :p but I do feel a vague dread when I see some pictures like that. It's not usually friends, because... well... because they're friends. I do have some family members that worry me though. I don't say anything, I just sigh and move along. It especially stinks (imo) when they're the wives of my blood relations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aquinas Academy Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I know exactly what you mean. I'm not embroidering any letters or anything :p but I do feel a vague dread when I see some pictures like that. It's not usually friends, because... well... because they're friends. I do have some family members that worry me though. I don't say anything, I just sigh and move along. It especially stinks (imo) when they're the wives of my blood relations. :iagree:and have experience with the bolded,too. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 :iagree:and have experience with the bolded,too. :( :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I agree. Not my problem if it's someone else, but not me and not my dh. I don't have a problem with dh getting hugged by my family gals, but I do with others. My dad was/is this way and he had affairs out the wazoo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UmMusa Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 I know exactly what you mean. I'm not embroidering any letters or anything :p but I do feel a vague dread when I see some pictures like that. It's not usually friends, because... well... because they're friends. I do have some family members that worry me though. I don't say anything, I just sigh and move along. It especially stinks (imo) when they're the wives of my blood relations. Hmmm, have you been peeking in my head tonight? You've hit the nail right on the head. Remudamom: ya, I got experience with that, too, about the dad. It doesn't happen from out of the blue is all I'm saying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Hmmm, have you been peeking in my head tonight? You've hit the nail right on the head. Remudamom: ya, I got experience with that, too, about the dad. It doesn't happen from out of the blue is all I'm saying. I guess I can see the potential for an issue for some people. I know a few guys who would take any sort of affection as an invitation. Learned the hard way in college that you have to be careful with some people... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I agree. Not my problem if it's someone else, but not me and not my dh. I don't have a problem with dh getting hugged by my family gals, but I do with others. My dad was/is this way and he had affairs out the wazoo. Hmmm, have you been peeking in my head tonight? You've hit the nail right on the head. Remudamom: ya, I got experience with that, too, about the dad. It doesn't happen from out of the blue is all I'm saying. You are projecting your baggage onto other people. I guess I can see the potential for an issue for some people. I know a few guys who would take any sort of affection as an invitation. Learned the hard way in college that you have to be careful with some people... I do agree with this. I don't think everyone has a gift of discernment in this regard. I know where the boundaries lie with various people. And I agree that some people knowingly and wrongly cross boundaries, and that it leads to trouble. But, you can't tell everything you need to know to judge a situation from a photo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Hmmm, have you been peeking in my head tonight? You've hit the nail right on the head. Remudamom: ya, I got experience with that, too, about the dad. It doesn't happen from out of the blue is all I'm saying. :001_smile: I do agree with this. I don't think everyone has a gift of discernment in this regard. I know where the boundaries lie with various people. And I agree that some people knowingly and wrongly cross boundaries, and that it leads to trouble. But, you can't tell everything you need to know to judge a situation from a photo. That's the hardest part, isn't it? I see women I love draped over someone and glassy eyed and... well, even if they were a stranger, a picture like that makes you wish you owned a cape/mask/leotard ensemble and could clear bars in a single growl... :lol: Well, that's probably just me ;) I don't think it is judgement so much as a dread of what it could be. Sort of like those stupid "christian porn" pictures that went around. It could very well be an elbow crease, but really? Still made me a little... whatever the word is when you shake your head and turn away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 :001_smile: That's the hardest part, isn't it? I see women I love draped over someone and glassy eyed and... well, even if they were a stranger, a picture like that makes you wish you owned a cape/mask/leotard ensemble and could clear bars in a single growl... :lol: Well, that's probably just me ;) I don't think it is judgement so much as a dread of what it could be. Sort of like those stupid "christian porn" pictures that went around. It could very well be an elbow crease, but really? Still made me a little... whatever the word is when you shake your head and turn away. Ok, what the heck is Christian porn? :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 You are projecting your baggage onto other people. I do agree with this. I don't think everyone has a gift of discernment in this regard. I know where the boundaries lie with various people. And I agree that some people knowingly and wrongly cross boundaries, and that it leads to trouble. But, you can't tell everything you need to know to judge a situation from a photo. :iagree:especially with the bolded. :001_smile: That's the hardest part, isn't it? I see women I love draped over someone and glassy eyed and... well, even if they were a stranger, a picture like that makes you wish you owned a cape/mask/leotard ensemble and could clear bars in a single growl... :lol: Well, that's probably just me ;) I don't think it is judgement so much as a dread of what it could be. Sort of like those stupid "christian porn" pictures that went around. It could very well be an elbow crease, but really? Still made me a little... whatever the word is when you shake your head and turn away. But there was no mention of "glassy-eyed" in the OP. Being in a bar does not equal being glassy-eyed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I feel like asking "why are you letting this kind of closeness happen and this kind of social intimacy happen??". And I would ask, "Why do you care?" My relationships with my friends are my business, not yours. Not everybody has the same ideas about things as you do. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gratia271 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I guess I can see the potential for an issue for some people. I know a few guys who would take any sort of affection as an invitation. Learned the hard way in college that you have to be careful with some people... :iagree: You have to know the people involved and understand how they communicate. Some people's communication style is much more physical with no ulterior motives. We have both "stereotypes" in my family and among my circle of friends. Some are more reserved (like me) and show physical affection only to "their" people so to speak, and others are physically affectionate with casual friends. Like Mrs. Mungo said, perceptive ability in these issues helps a lot! :001_smile: Consider the flip side of this. People used to misjudge me as cold because I am NOT physically demonstrative with most people (hugs, etc). I need my personal space. Well, it hurt my feelings that my "affectionate" friends could not understand I communicate differently. We are all different, and IMO we should try evaluate these things on the basis of each person and not draw some line in the sand that will potentially mischaracterize the actions of others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Ok, what the heck is Christian porn? :confused: This disturbing bit of snark that floated around on MySpace and then FB for a while. It was stuff like close-ups of the crease inside someone's elbow and things. Stupid, but it still bugged me (I mean, WHY?). :iagree:especially with the bolded. But there was no mention of "glassy-eyed" in the OP. Being in a bar does not equal being glassy-eyed. I was referring back to my own post ;) I don't know what the OP saw, but I know the kinds of pictures I see that her post made me think about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I find the content of the OP odd. I have a wide variety of friends, from varied faith traditions. I am not anti-alcohol or anti-bar (though I don't drink drink and neither does my husband). I simply don't *see* what the OP posted about. I don't see married women out at bars, physically affectionate with other men. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I find the content of the OP odd. I have a wide variety of friends, from varied faith traditions. I am not anti-alcohol or anti-bar (though I don't drink drink and neither does my husband). I simply don't *see* what the OP posted about. I don't see married women out at bars, physically affectionate with other men. :confused: She said, bar/restaurant/party with an arm around her or "extremely close" to her. We don't really go to bars, but lots of restaurants and parties. I have pictures of me with male friends and dh with female friends, mostly because I was taking the photo of him or he was taking the photo of me. I wouldn't even have to be what I think of as physically affectionate to be "extremely close" to someone in a photo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I simply don't *see* what the OP posted about. I don't see married women out at bars, physically affectionate with other men. :confused: It's a farily common category of FB photo. There was a hilarious segment on "Whitney" last night about this very thing, so it must be somewhat common, at least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I find the content of the OP odd. I have a wide variety of friends, from varied faith traditions. I am not anti-alcohol or anti-bar (though I don't drink drink and neither does my husband). I simply don't *see* what the OP posted about. I don't see married women out at bars, physically affectionate with other men. :confused: Ok, we live in a rural area and our only decent restuarant is a pub. The focus of this place is the bar but there are tables too (not that comfortable but whatever). So yes, I have been to a bar with a man who is not my husband or my brother. And yes, we took pictures. Actually, he's a foot and a half shorter than I so we have a pic of HIM on my lap. :D I can see how if a relationship is in trouble, I suppose a partner of the people photographed could be hurt but it's not an issue for DH or I or our friends. I am my DH's WIFE. That means something to us. When I see one of our friend's post a pic of DH at work where he's next to a gorgeous (we have a PA who is a lingerie model for crying out loud!!) co-worker, I may feel a twinge because I'll never be a fashion model or an Olympic skater or whatever but really, I just see "A" and DH. And A is a fabulous person who would never hurt me, my DH, my kids, her kids, her DH, etc. etc. I suppose an affair could happen to anyone. That's why we work on our marriage all.the.time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 We were close friends with a couple once who did think like the OP though. Somehow, the DH and I got caught out alone at a restaurant once (our spouses were both late) and he was so uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong - we'd been friends for YEARS. He confessed that he thought his wife would be worried that he was alone with a woman. I almost choked. I hadn't thought of myself as "woman" with this guy. And he... He was nice. I did "love" him as a friend but there was no attraction. I mean ZERO. If we were stranded on a desert island for 50 years, the only way intercourse would ever occur is if he were running down the beach "prepared" and fell into me and I was DEAD. He's just meek and more metro-sexualish. My DH is a MAN, complete with body hair everywhere, tall and very muscular. And now for the love of tuna, the friend has grown a soul patch. If our friendship hadn't already ended a few years ago, that would have done it. :D But the friend's "confession" did change how I thought about him. Looking back, I think that was the beginning of the end. We started to realize how very differently we thought as couples and as people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 It makes me twitch when I see pictures of women I know, who are married, who are out at a bar/restaurant/party and some MAN who is not her husband has his arm around her or is extremetly close to her. Ok, I admit I'm conservative in my faith, so obviously I"m going to feel this, but I wasn't a religious person, and it still bothered me then. I feel like asking "why are you letting this kind of closeness happen and this kind of social intimacy happen??". :( It's with women I love and are close either as family or friends. File those thoughts under MYOB - mind your own business. There are so many possible innocent explanations for such a scenario including the male is a relative or friend or cultural differences. I am an atheist and wanton floozy would be the last thing to come to mind unless there was a track record of flooziness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 And I would ask, "Why do you care?" My relationships with my friends are my business, not yours. Not everybody has the same ideas about things as you do. Tara Ouch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 There are plenty of pictures like that of me. They're all from either mine or dh's work parties. The type of occasion where you go out for drinks when someone's leaving the firm or transferring or celebrating 5 or 10 years of service. Everyone squishes together, puts their arms around each other and gets their picture taken. Sometimes, I barely know the people around me in the photo, but you still are expected to put your arm around your neighbor and smile for the camera! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Hot topic. This always gets people going. There are so many variables. Just because your boundaries are good with opposite sex, doesn't mean the other person's are. Just because your spouse isn't 'jealous' doesn't mean the other person's spouse isn't. Where did the picture take place? Who all was there? As for jealousy...I believe it can be a normal reaction to a preceived threat to the marriage. The guy who was afraid to be 'alone' in a public restaurant because his wife was late was over the top....and ya gotta wonder that maybe he did something to cause his wife to be so insecure (if she really was). People are weird. Me included. I never thought of myself as jealous until I experienced infidelity up close and personal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Ouch. The OP's post was one of the most judgmental I have ever seen. Really, it's completely none of her business what other people do in that regard, and if she was really curious about why people interact with others in the manner she described, she could have just asked. Instead, she made a post that simply dripped with judgment and assumption. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 As for jealousy...I believe it can be a normal reaction to a preceived threat to the marriage. The guy who was afraid to be 'alone' in a public restaurant because his wife was late was over the top....and ya gotta wonder that maybe he did something to cause his wife to be so insecure (if she really was). People are weird. Me included. I never thought of myself as jealous until I experienced infidelity up close and personal. It was an Olive Garden, for crying out loud!! I mean, if I'm going to have an affair, you'd better take me someplace exceptional first. :D And maybe my perception on this issue would change if I ever experienced infidelity with DH. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Hot topic. This always gets people going. There are so many variables. Just because your boundaries are good with opposite sex, doesn't mean the other person's are. Just because your spouse isn't 'jealous' doesn't mean the other person's spouse isn't. Where did the picture take place? Who all was there? As for jealousy...I believe it can be a normal reaction to a preceived threat to the marriage. The guy who was afraid to be 'alone' in a public restaurant because his wife was late was over the top....and ya gotta wonder that maybe he did something to cause his wife to be so insecure (if she really was). People are weird. Me included. I never thought of myself as jealous until I experienced infidelity up close and personal. The original poster was speaking in generalities. She was not referring to one or even two specifically identifiable situations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I suppose we should go back to the times when people were stiff and unsmiling in photos so as not to upset anyone's sensibilities. :glare: Otherwise people will feel free to take any fun and innocent thing and turn it into something rude and dirty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I suppose we should go back to the times when people were stiff and unsmiling in photos so as not to upset anyone's sensibilities. :glare: Otherwise people will feel free to take any fun and innocent thing and turn it into something rude and dirty. Or maybe women should just stay home and not work with or become friends with men? I don't know what some people want!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 It was an Olive Garden, for crying out loud!! I mean, if I'm going to have an affair, you'd better take me someplace exceptional first. :D And maybe my perception on this issue would change if I ever experienced infidelity with DH. :iagree: Like... Paris. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 It was an Olive Garden, for crying out loud!! I mean, if I'm going to have an affair, you'd better take me someplace exceptional first. :D LOL. I am not sure if I was clear in my previous post....but I meant I AGREE he over reacted to that situation....I also meant to add however, we don't know that husband's history with his wife and his own prior behavior. And maybe my perception on this issue would change if I ever experienced infidelity with DH. Yes, it probably would. I do think all of us would do well to be sure we have tight boundaries with those of the opposite sex.....that is a big MENTAL thing, but we have to be careful how we present ourselves to possible predators out there. Or vulnerable people who are vulnerable for any number of reasons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 :iagree: Like... Paris. We have an adorable little French restaurant right down the road form us that DH and I love. We've decided that it would be the perfect affair restaurant. The problem is, it's the first place either of us would now go. So, that would make the whole "affair" thing hard. And really, I would be most annoyed that DH got the creme brulee without me than the darned affair. Because what's the point of going to a French restaurant without the creme brulee??? www.labecasse.com Wouldn't that be an awesome affair restaurant? We think it's the velvet drapes. :lol: And it's tiny and intimate feeling but it's mostly the velvet drapes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 The OP's post was one of the most judgmental I have ever seen. Really, it's completely none of her business what other people do in that regard, and if she was really curious about why people interact with others in the manner she described, she could have just asked. Instead, she made a post that simply dripped with judgment and assumption. Tara I re read her OP. I guess we just see it differently. I didn't see assumption.....she described a very specific situation that bothers her. She is allowed to express her opinion, right? Especially on an anonymous message board where we all say things all of the time that we can't/shouldn't say in real life. It is venting. She was talking about women she KNOWS...not just some random picture she saw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 We have an adorable little French restaurant right down the road form us that DH and I love. We've decided that it would be the perfect affair restaurant. The problem is, it's the first place either of us would now go. So, that would make the whole "affair" thing hard. And really, I would be most annoyed that DH got the creme brulee without me than the darned affair. Because what's the point of going to a French restaurant without the creme brulee??? www.labecasse.com Wouldn't that be an awesome affair restaurant? We think it's the velvet drapes. :lol: And it's tiny and intimate feeling but it's mostly the velvet drapes. I got a list of French recipes. :lol: I'm saving them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I know you guys are just being funny....but really when marriages break up it is a sickening thing. It destroys lives. It alters children's lives forever. It can devastate extended families. It often puts families into poverty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 LOL. I am not sure if I was clear in my previous post....but I meant I AGREE he over reacted to that situation....I also meant to add however, we don't know that husband's history with his wife and his own prior behavior. Yes, it probably would. I do think all of us would do well to be sure we have tight boundaries with those of the opposite sex.....that is a big MENTAL thing, but we have to be careful how we present ourselves to possible predators out there. Or vulnerable people who are vulnerable for any number of reasons. I did get that you thought it was weird. I should have been more clear in my response. But if you want to get me into bed, it's going to make more than unlimited breadsticks to do that... :D I also have a hard time looking at our friends as potential "predators." DH worked 134 hours last week. Now it's possible, he got a little something on the side physically I guess but there would still have to be something wrong here at home. And we've been through some rough times (I might not recommend a 3 year lawsuit to anyone preceded by a DH working for crooks prior to that) but we both knew that once that line was crossed, it was crossed. Even if the marriage did survive, it would be different. And we both know that. And it's just not worth that. We're best friends. Out of everyone else on the planet, we both get that we are the one person who is never supposed to let the other one down. And just for that? Nope. We both had enough of that in our 20s maybe. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I got a list of French recipes. :lol: I'm saving them! But where do you even buy velvet drapes?!?! :lol: Trust me, you NEED the drapes!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I did get that you thought it was weird. I should have been more clear in my response. But if you want to get me into bed, it's going to make more than unlimited breadsticks to do that... :D I also have a hard time looking at our friends as potential "predators." DH worked 134 hours last week. Now it's possible, he got a little something on the side physically I guess but there would still have to be something wrong here at home. And we've been through some rough times (I might not recommend a 3 year lawsuit to anyone preceded by a DH working for crooks prior to that) but we both knew that once that line was crossed, it was crossed. Even if the marriage did survive, it would be different. And we both know that. And it's just not worth that. We're best friends. Out of everyone else on the planet, we both get that we are the one person who is never supposed to let the other one down. And just for that? Nope. We both had enough of that in our 20s maybe. :lol: Not trying to be argumentative, but the bolded above is absolutely not true. Sometimes, often times, a spouse will cheat when there is nothing wrong at home. And many spouses are faithful when EVERYTHING is wrong at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I know you guys are just being funny....but really when marriages break up it is a sickening thing. It destroys lives. It alters children's lives forever. It can devastate extended families. It often puts families into poverty. I get that. For some marriages. Sometimes marriages ending is a GOOD thing though too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Not trying to be argumentative, but the bolded above is absolutely not true. Sometimes, often times, a spouse will cheat when there is nothing wrong at home. And many spouses are faithful when EVERYTHING is wrong at home. I don't understand that. Why cheat then? If you love your spouse and love your life together, why cheat? Idiocy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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