*~Tina~* Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 I just took my 15 yo to a youth group at a church we went to many, many years ago...they had her fill out a "information" card and I just cringed at her handwriting - and of course below all the terrible writing is the line to list where you attend school...which is home of course. Do you see where I am going with this? I actually took it stuffed it in my purse and filled out a new one :tongue_smilie: This is my girl with seizures and learning issues, i understand she has issues not visible to the eye and I try hard to suppress the urge to explain that to everyone but I still cringed worrying that people would think her stupid or me a poor excuse of a teacher for her :001_unsure: I feel like a putz and I want to cry :crying: It asked for her favorite ice cream...she wrote - pinna colads Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 In her defense, it's not exactly English! :) I would let this one go, sweetie. She made a good try. She has some struggles. It's ok. You are a good mom. She is who she is. If you are really concerned about people judging, you could have a quiet word with the adult staff to let them know about her issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Don't feel bad. There are lots of people with no difficulties that have illegible handwriting. My 18yo is very bright and has no learning issues at all, but I have given up on his handwriting. It's not like we didn't work on it for years. It looks just like his dad's - and he did okay. :001_smile: Oh, by the way, he has trouble spelling too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helena Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 (edited) :grouphug: There's absolutely no reason to feel like a putz. :grouphug: But, I'm all for the occasional (private) mama cry. I have kids with Tourettes, and sometimes the little things feel so crushing (and usually my kids are oblivious to it). :grouphug: Edited August 31, 2011 by helena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I know exactly how you feel. My ds with some learning issues graduated from high school in June. I cannot tell you how difficult it was to send out his Thank You notes as he wrote them. He's not exactly the typical high school graduate. At the same time, he's the hardest worker I know, of any age, and he has a heart of gold. All this to say, don't lose sight of what's important. The people who would think badly of your dd (or her teacher!) are not people that matter. I would, in your place, probably have "helped" with filling out the card, and yes, I probably would give someone in leadership a "heads-up" about dd's situation. Hang in there. The world doesn't need more highly educated people, the world needs more *good* people. Your dd will find her place. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Don't cry. If her handwriting bothers you, then that is just something to work on a bit more. If anyone says anything about her handwriting, they are the ones who are putzes. FWIW, the other day I took the grocery list that we keep on the fridge to my son and asked him what 3 items were on it. I didn't write them and I couldn't decipher them either. He said he didn't know what they were. I told him, "Oh, come on! It's your writing. That's a sad comment if you can't read your own writing." To which he insisted he had not written it. My dh later admitted he wrote it. So, there you go. A grown man with such crappy handwriting that no one can read it. Also, FWIW, I felt like a putz for making such a crappy comment about not being able to read it. My point is, no one is perfect. We all have faults, but we can all work on them a little. And, we can all show a little more patience and grace with the faults of others and of ourselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Try not to beat yourself up over it. Did you do the best you can? I'm sure the answer is probably yes. Would a public school teacher have been able to do any better? Probably not. Is good handwriting the most important skill ever? No. I have a feeling you're mourning the loss of something else. What coulda, shoulda been. That is normal and I'm sure will always hit you at odd times. It is ok to mourn for a bit and then move on. So, hugs to you and your daughter. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: (and if I'm wrong you can tell me to go take a flying leap) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 My 14 year old son has handwriting that looks like a kindergartener-- I feel your pain. He has dysgraphia, but what good does that do when he needs to fill out a form and look competent. He is SO smart but his handwriting is a disgrace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JVA Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 She's in GOOD COMPANY. Every doc I know has illegible handwriting. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athomemom Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Nothing to add. You've gotten great help here. Just wanted to add :grouphug: and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 She's in GOOD COMPANY. Every doc I know has illegible handwriting. :) That's what I was thinking - she'll probably grow up to be a doctor.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauranc Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 I think I understand how you feel. I have a daughter with severe learning difficulties (along with develop. delays), and would have probably felt as you did when I saw her card. (I probably would have rewritten it as well) I have a difficult time knowing how to handle these kinds of situations. I often feel I've not done the right thing; and, of course, the most important thing is to do right by my daughter. I don't want her to feel ashamed or embarrassed... It's an ongoing issue for me. It's so hard. Hang in there.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akmommy Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 If it helps my cursive still looks like a third grader(the year we learned) wrote it. More often then not it is legible, but kind of embarrassing to me when most women my age have such pretty cursive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathyBC Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 So many 15yos spell just like that on FB - with no identified LDs - that I wonder if anyone would really have noticed. I think when we homeschool we can lose touch with the wider range of "normal". That being said, I would have felt exactly the same way. ((())) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Journey Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 I know exactly how you feel and I struggle so much with it. My one daughter is 23 and has LD/ADHD/developmental delays. It is so difficult for me to watch her struggle, to try to fit in, to watch her act like a 12 year old at times....so much heartache. So many people treat her poorly because they don't know she has these disabilities because they can't SEE them. I find myself explaining away her behavior over and over again hoping that people will understand and accept her but.they.don't. No one will hire her because of this even though she would give 110% to be a good worker....when she feels she can do the work. It's nice that people say "she's in good company...." but it doesn't help. She still struggles, she still gets treated like poo by people in this looks oriented world (she is overweight as well). They don't take the time to get to know the sweet, sweet heart inside, they just judge and it breaks my heart. I used to struggle when we homeschooled, that I wasn't being the teacher for her that I thought I needed to be but I didn't know how to teach her so I tried to teach her every day living skills...which she still and always will struggle with. I know that God made her this way for a reason and I am blessed to have her as my child, I just wish others would accept her for who He made her. So, I know exactly how you feel and I know that you want to cry....I have cried too many times to remember. If you ever need to talk, just let me know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 I think it's important to try and relieve ourselves of the burden of feeling like have to represent homeschooling when we go out into the world. But I know it's tough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 I think it's important to try and relieve ourselves of the burden of feeling like have to represent homeschooling when we go out into the world. But I know it's tough. This is very true, but unfortunately so much easier said than done. :sad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 I would let this one go, sweetie. She made a good try. She has some struggles. It's ok. You are a good mom. She is who she is. If you are really concerned about people judging, you could have a quiet word with the adult staff to let them know about her issues. :grouphug: I agree with Ria. I have the same reaction sometimes when my dd with autism fills out forms. It's difficult. But she's doing her best, and she's filling out her own forms. So I let it go. I try to let it go, anyway. :grouphug: Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 :grouphug: You're a good mom. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susann Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: I know this probably won't make you feel better but I handle registrations for our library. I very, very seldom come across someone younger than 30 with what I consider legible let alone pretty handwriting. My dds (as do I) have horrible handwriting, though it is legible, even though we all had pretty calligraphic writing when we were younger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*~Tina~* Posted September 1, 2011 Author Share Posted September 1, 2011 Thank you all so much...you're the best group of gals. I read every reply, soaked up every hug. It is so much more than the handwriting and Meggie said it so well below...it is that mourning that cycles back around once in a while and side swipes me. We've both been so hurt by people and experiences as it relates to her issues and somewhere along the line I closed it off, did all I could to avoid more hurt, and sheltered us both to try and protect our hearts. Taking her there tonight, I was like a mom taking her baby to kindergarten for the first time...an emotional mess. All those feelings and fears resurfaced and my heart ached something awful. :crying: :grouphug::grouphug: Try not to beat yourself up over it. Did you do the best you can? I'm sure the answer is probably yes. Would a public school teacher have been able to do any better? Probably not. Is good handwriting the most important skill ever? No. I have a feeling you're mourning the loss of something else. What coulda, shoulda been. That is normal and I'm sure will always hit you at odd times. It is ok to mourn for a bit and then move on. So, hugs to you and your daughter. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: (and if I'm wrong you can tell me to go take a flying leap) Thank you for this Meggie. You were right on and the questions helped me put the writing into perspective so I could let myself feel the grief that snuck up on me. Thank you all again...you have no idea how much your words of encouragement meant to me this evening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 :grouphug: My son has some dyslexic issues. We went to get his library card a few years ago and he misspelled our last name, even though I had spelled it out for him. It didn't help the librarian was looking at practically staring at him the whole time we filled out the forms. I didn't mention to the librarian at that point that we were homeschoolers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhonda in TX Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 My DS has dysgraphia. I finally gave up on teaching him cursive. He recently had to sign his name to a couple of forms. I had to write it out for him in cursive so he could copy it. I know what you mean about others judging your DD based on handwriting and spelling. It's hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 I think it's important to try and relieve ourselves of the burden of feeling like have to represent homeschooling when we go out into the world. But I know it's tough. Very true. I think that as a mom, though, it would still be tough for me to see my kid in that situation even if he went to public or private school. It's not fun to see your child in a potentially humiliating or difficult situation because of something he can't control, even if you're not worried about it reflecting on your teaching abilities. :grouphug: to you, OP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldskool Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 We went to a college fair last year and had similar issues. I was so embarrassed that dd didn't know how to fill out the information/address card fast like the other kids were doing and then her handwriting was borderline illegible. It was a terrible feeling to have this happen in front of admission officials and then on top of it to say that we homeschool. :tongue_smilie:After a few booths I ended up telling dd that I would fill out the cards so she could have time to look around. Not sure I handled it right, but I was unexpectedly grieved by the experience. On the positive side, it at least highlighted a skill that we would need to work on at home. :grouphug: Lesley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 (edited) I just cringed at her handwriting - dh has terrible handwriting. 2dd was public schooled and had pretty illegible handwriting. when she was in high school I used to tease her that her handwriting qualified her for medical school. (and when she was doing her interviews for pharm school, they asked her why she *didn't* apply to med school. . . I don't think it was the handwriting.) I do recall one (high rank) college admissions dog and pony show that had a story about a student who included a document version along with his required handwriten admissions essay. His handwriting was completely illegilble. I vaguely recall he got in . . . Edited September 1, 2011 by gardenmom5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 She's in GOOD COMPANY. Every doc I know has illegible handwriting. :) :iagree: Definitely nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe something to work on, you know her capabilities so that's up to you. I know tons of ps kids with awful handwriting and I don't look down on their parents or teachers... and I'm not saying I completely agree with this, but some say handwriting is nearly irrelevant because of computers anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 :grouphug: I know how you feel as my youngest has dyslexia and dysgraphia. But like your daughter, she also has a mom who loves her so much and is committed to doing all she can to make sure this girl can reach HER full potential! :grouphug: P.S. And thanks for all the help you've given to so many mamas of special needs kids through the Heart of Reading group! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*~Tina~* Posted September 3, 2011 Author Share Posted September 3, 2011 :grouphug: I know how you feel as my youngest has dyslexia and dysgraphia. But like your daughter' date=' she also has a mom who loves her so much and is committed to doing all she can to make sure this girl can reach HER full potential! :grouphug: P.S. And thanks for all the help you've given to so many mamas of special needs kids through the Heart of Reading group![/quote'] Thank you so much for this :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 My dh isn't a doctor, but he does have advanced degrees and I have had the experience several times of not being able to read what he's written on a grocery list. My handwriting is legible....but it isn't pretty. I don't think anyone would have noticed the form. LOTS of people do not write well. But I understand that you're upset.....:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 Does it help you to know that my 10 yr old (dyslexic) ds wrote 'skoll' for school the other day. :grouphug: :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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