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that makes complete strangers think it's acceptable to touch them? :angry: I do not go around touching random people or their grubby little children. It is not okay to touch my baby whenever you want. :cursing: Or my pregnant belly when I have one. :glare:

 

And why is it that people (and their kids) will ask if they may pet my dog, but not think twice about grabbing baby's hand and playing with it or touching my baby's face??

 

:banghead: People make me mad sometimes. ;)

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Definitely don't bring your baby to Malaysia. Everyone picks up and plays with stranger's babies. We have had waiters and waitresses pick up our daughter and carry her around the restaurant showing her off to other people. :tongue_smilie:

 

The first time it happened it was weird. But they just really love children here and it is a common thing so I don't get all upset about it. I take it as a compliment.

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My dd was a micro preemie with immunity issues. I hung a huge stop sign on her carrier that said DO NOT TOUCH BABY and would usually keep her covered so that she wasn't immediately seen. I lost count how many people would take the blanket down or reach around the sign to try and touch her anyway. I stayed mad.

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I must give off a "touch my baby and I'll kill you vibe" because that doesn't happen to me :lol: Even family knows to ask first before holding my babies when they are tiny. I've had plenty stop to ohh and ahh over them and comment on how cute but nobody ever tried to touch them without asking me first. I am a tad bit possessive in the beginning months :D

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Last month I was washing my hands in the bathroom at the Detroit airport, and I had my one year old on my back in a carrier. Suddenly I hear, "I just can't resist!" I look up just in time to see through the mirror an otherwise sane looking, middle aged, woman kiss my baby!

 

Really?!?! In the *bathroom* of an *airport* while he's strapped to my back?!?!

 

I was stunned into silence, and she was gone before I could lift my jaw off of the floor.

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I pretty much want to grab, squeeze, kiss and pinch every single baby I see. :D BUT I don't! I had one old little Hispanic lady grab my baby in the grocery cart at the store. She wanted to show him to her family. I had turned my head to get something off the shelf, turned back and she was right there unbuckling him. She's lucky I didn't knock her over! The waitresses at the Chinese restaurant would always snatch my dd and carry her around the restaurant whenever we were there. I didn't mind because we ate there a lot and it gave me a chance to eat with two hands. :) I don't know why babies are considered community property. They are just so sweet I guess!

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I understand the resistance to it, but I also think we are way too "individualistic" in our culture, too separate and "my baby is mine". I loved visiting Bali with my 4month old and having the baby passed from waitress to waitress (and waiters) every time we ate. I really think it is a better culture when everyone loves on babies and we don't see them so much as "ours" in that very separate, western way that stops us also talking to our neighbours.

I think it is primal, personally, to love upon babies, so while yes in our society we have personal boundaries around such things, cutting people some slack for loving upon your baby is probably an easier way to handle it.

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I understand the resistance to it, but I also think we are way too "individualistic" in our culture, too separate and "my baby is mine". I loved visiting Bali with my 4month old and having the baby passed from waitress to waitress (and waiters) every time we ate. I really think it is a better culture when everyone loves on babies and we don't see them so much as "ours" in that very separate, western way that stops us also talking to our neighbours.

I think it is primal, personally, to love upon babies, so while yes in our society we have personal boundaries around such things, cutting people some slack for loving upon your baby is probably an easier way to handle it.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

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Definitely don't bring your baby to Malaysia. Everyone picks up and plays with stranger's babies. We have had waiters and waitresses pick up our daughter and carry her around the restaurant showing her off to other people. :tongue_smilie:

 

The first time it happened it was weird. But they just really love children here and it is a common thing so I don't get all upset about it. I take it as a compliment.

 

Me too and I'm in boring old North America. People love babies. The people generally aren't carrying deadly diseases. I don't mind at all.

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I understand the resistance to it, but I also think we are way too "individualistic" in our culture, too separate and "my baby is mine". I loved visiting Bali with my 4month old and having the baby passed from waitress to waitress (and waiters) every time we ate. I really think it is a better culture when everyone loves on babies and we don't see them so much as "ours" in that very separate, western way that stops us also talking to our neighbours.

I think it is primal, personally, to love upon babies, so while yes in our society we have personal boundaries around such things, cutting people some slack for loving upon your baby is probably an easier way to handle it.

Maybe its b/c my nephew was born with heart issues, and at the tender age of 4 mths has had 2 surgeries for them, but I really disagree.

 

There are babies and children with immune issues. A stranger mauling them can put them at huge risk.

 

Plus, in today's society, it only takes one nutbar to grab a baby and run.

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I understand the resistance to it, but I also think we are way too "individualistic" in our culture, too separate and "my baby is mine". I loved visiting Bali with my 4month old and having the baby passed from waitress to waitress (and waiters) every time we ate. I really think it is a better culture when everyone loves on babies and we don't see them so much as "ours" in that very separate, western way that stops us also talking to our neighbours.

I think it is primal, personally, to love upon babies, so while yes in our society we have personal boundaries around such things, cutting people some slack for loving upon your baby is probably an easier way to handle it.

 

:iagree:

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Definitely don't bring your baby to Malaysia. Everyone picks up and plays with stranger's babies. We have had waiters and waitresses pick up our daughter and carry her around the restaurant showing her off to other people. :tongue_smilie:

 

The first time it happened it was weird. But they just really love children here and it is a common thing so I don't get all upset about it. I take it as a compliment.

 

Same in the Middle East. And I felt the same way about it as Heather does. I was used to waiters (usually Indian or Filippino, so I guess it is the same in those cultures) taking my baby and wandering off with him into the kitchen, or holding him behind the counter. And when we first got there dd also received lots of attention (this decreased as she got older). Even young teen boys were affectionate with children - I once had a soccer team walking off the field detour to surround the stroller and pay attention to ds. I really missed the willingness of adults to interact with children when we first got to Australia. I think it is very sad and a reflection of a loss of community culture.

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. I really missed the willingness of adults to interact with children when we first got to Australia. I think it is very sad and a reflection of a loss of community culture.

 

Oh, I'm all for interaction. I just don't think that everyone needs to touch. I mean, I interact with people every day but I don't touch every single one of them. :001_huh:

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I understand the resistance to it, but I also think we are way too "individualistic" in our culture, too separate and "my baby is mine". I loved visiting Bali with my 4month old and having the baby passed from waitress to waitress (and waiters) every time we ate. I really think it is a better culture when everyone loves on babies and we don't see them so much as "ours" in that very separate, western way that stops us also talking to our neighbours.

I think it is primal, personally, to love upon babies, so while yes in our society we have personal boundaries around such things, cutting people some slack for loving upon your baby is probably an easier way to handle it.

 

I understand that but it won't change my possessiveness. With 3 of my babies were preemies, 2 had breathing problems and were on meds for quite a while because of it. I did not want anyone touching them. Family or church members that asked had to use hand sanitizer first, if they had any kind of sniffle etc they were not allowed to without a mask. I carried these things with me everywhere in the diaper bag. I love, love, love all babies, but I do not go out man-handling someone else's baby.

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I understand the resistance to it, but I also think we are way too "individualistic" in our culture, too separate and "my baby is mine". I loved visiting Bali with my 4month old and having the baby passed from waitress to waitress (and waiters) every time we ate. I really think it is a better culture when everyone loves on babies and we don't see them so much as "ours" in that very separate, western way that stops us also talking to our neighbours.

I think it is primal, personally, to love upon babies, so while yes in our society we have personal boundaries around such things, cutting people some slack for loving upon your baby is probably an easier way to handle it.

 

:iagree: It's never really bothered me much. :001_smile:

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And why is it that people (and their kids) will ask if they may pet my dog, but not think twice about grabbing baby's hand and playing with it or touching my baby's face??

 

I think it may be because most babies will not bite, but some dogs are questionable in this regard. Not your dog, I'm sure. :001_smile:

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First off, let me just say that ppl I know I'm free with my babies with.

 

The other thing that occurs to me is that if someone walked up and started trying to maul our toddlers, preschoolers, and up, we'd have blue fits...let alone if a stranger came up and started pawing teens/adults. That's considered assault.

 

So why is ok for the most vulnerable of us all?

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Because babies are beautiful, and it just makes you happy like nothing else to see a sweet baby.

 

I don't touch other people's tummies, and no one except my mom ever has rubbed my pregnant belly in that crazy way.

 

I have had people touch my kids. Even total strangers who then pretend they didn't just do it. There are lots of peoe who ruffle hair and pinch cheeks of kids.

 

My husband (as an adult) has had other adults try to touch his hair. People act like idiots when someone looks different from them.

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I don't think anyone ever touched my baby. I think my belly once, and that was someone I knew and fine. But, I look like a Viking and I was in my mid-forties. No one ever told me I looked "inviting".

 

You just ruined my mental image of you. Although, now I get to picture you in a Viking helm and furry armor.

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First off, let me just say that ppl I know I'm free with my babies with.

 

The other thing that occurs to me is that if someone walked up and started trying to maul our toddlers, preschoolers, and up, we'd have blue fits...let alone if a stranger came up and started pawing teens/adults. That's considered assault.

 

So why is ok for the most vulnerable of us all?

 

I just think it's a different matter for me personally. It's not something I'm uncomfortable with. I understand other people have different boundaries though and I'll keep this thread in mind when I see other people's babies. :)

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Because babies are beautiful, and it just makes you happy like nothing else to see a sweet baby.

 

I don't touch other people's tummies, and no one except my mom ever has rubbed my pregnant belly in that crazy way.

 

I have had people touch my kids. Even total strangers who then pretend they didn't just do it. There are lots of peoe who ruffle hair and pinch cheeks of kids.

 

My husband (as an adult) has had other adults try to touch his hair. People act like idiots when someone looks different from them.

 

People explore new things. When they're really interested in something they like to explore with more then just they're sight and hearing. I'll chalk it up to the animal in us.

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It's funny that two people mentioned Mexican ladies. I never see that here. Perhaps it's a Mexican American thing. There are some vast cultural differences between Mexicans and Mexican Americans, or so Mexicans tell me.

 

Here babies are deep in slings or wrapped up in blankets and you'd have to reach in pretty far and invade mommy's space to touch a baby. I've literally never seen a stranger do that here.

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Definitely don't bring your baby to Malaysia. Everyone picks up and plays with stranger's babies. We have had waiters and waitresses pick up our daughter and carry her around the restaurant showing her off to other people. :tongue_smilie:

 

The first time it happened it was weird. But they just really love children here and it is a common thing so I don't get all upset about it. I take it as a compliment.

 

It's a bit like that in my dh's country. People love the littles. They try to give them candy, and they fawn over babies. Personally, I have got to control myself. I have seen my own hands reach to stroke a tiny foot or fuzzy head and have had to draw back. It's easier if I am sitting down. I stick my hands under my thighs. lol It's a lot harder if I am standing. I do try. ;)

 

Babies are designed to survive. :D I think it's hard to stifle that biological drive. I sure don't want another baby, but I would never ignore one alone on the side of the road. I think the desire to care about a vulnerable baby is part of our biology (stronger in some than in others). Your DNA doesn't know that baby doesn't belong to you! lol

 

I've personally never minded if people touch my babies. I would rather people touch feet or heads. My UU church used to be filled with old men and women who seemed to enjoy the babies. None of my kids ever got bubonic plague or anything. Maybe it helped their immunes systems, even. My kids rarely get sick even now that they are older. lol

Edited by LibraryLover
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I must give off a "touch my baby and I'll kill you vibe" because that doesn't happen to me :lol: Even family knows to ask first before holding my babies when they are tiny. I've had plenty stop to ohh and ahh over them and comment on how cute but nobody ever tried to touch them without asking me first. I am a tad bit possessive in the beginning months :D

 

Me too. Never had my belly patted either. I am not wearing a friendly face by default, unless I see someone I know (or little kids). I don't glare at people, I just don't look very approachable without making a conscious effort.

 

I guess my mama didn't raise me to be very nice. :D (biggest smile you'll get :tongue_smilie:)

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I don't like it when baby is very young. I did worry about whooping cough last winter when he was a young infant and avoided people and their germs as much as I could.

 

But other than that, I don't think it hurts, and people mean well. Everyone around us at the circus recently loved my 9 mo old. An older man, grandpa type, touched baby's foot while he talked to him, another guy offered baby cotton candy (:confused:), and two little girls in front of us kept telling me "Your baby is sooo cute!!" while patting his leg. Baby was fine with it, so I was too.

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I have seen my own hands reach to stroke a tiny foot or fuzzy head and have had to drawn back.

 

Feet are okay. I never minded people touching feet or even little fuzzy heads. I would probably have smacked someone for just up and kissing them though.

 

ETA: Feet, legs, and heads don't go into baby's mouth.

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I don't like my belly touched-and have had it happen.

 

But, I don't mind others touching the baby. Most people, squeeze a foot (which almost always has a sock or booty on it), some tickle the belly. The only time I have stepped in is with little kids, they can be unintentionally rough and usually don't have clean hands.

 

I love sharing my babies, but they have all been healthy, and I understand others may have susceptible little ones, so I keep my hands to myself and make sure my kids do too.

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Unfortunately, not all of them are. And germs could make their survival very much in question.

 

 

 

I mean they are designed to be adorable so we don't leave them on the side of the road. :D From an evolutionary (whooops! Bad word! lol) standpoint.

 

 

It can be difficult to override the biological urge to nurture.

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Feet are okay. I never minded people touching feet or even little fuzzy heads. I would probably have smacked someone for just up and kissing them though.

 

ETA: Feet, legs, and heads don't go into baby's mouth.

 

:)

 

My littles have eaten/or brought to their mouths glass, dirt, moss, petrified Oatie O's, dog & cat food; touched deer poop. You name it, they seemed interested.

 

Btw. I fixed my typo. I meant draw, not drawn. ;)

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I don't actually touch strangers' babies, but I really, really want to most of the time. I think we are made to be drawn to babies, to want to hold and snuggle them and to coo at them and try to make them smile.

 

There really is nothing in the world like squeezing a squishy gorgeous baby leg or burping a little newborn or hearing their sweet little breaths in your ear.

 

I love babies.

 

But I won't touch your baby unless you hand her to me.

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I understand the resistance to it, but I also think we are way too "individualistic" in our culture, too separate and "my baby is mine". I loved visiting Bali with my 4month old and having the baby passed from waitress to waitress (and waiters) every time we ate. I really think it is a better culture when everyone loves on babies and we don't see them so much as "ours" in that very separate, western way that stops us also talking to our neighbours.

I think it is primal, personally, to love upon babies, so while yes in our society we have personal boundaries around such things, cutting people some slack for loving upon your baby is probably an easier way to handle it.

To a certain extent I agree, but there are situations where "sharing" the baby is extremely dangerous. I have one child with numerous allergies. If she was touched by someone who had been eating anything containing peanuts she could have died.

 

I can't stand when people touch my pregnant belly. Just because my belly is big does not mean you're allowed to run your hands all over it. :glare:

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I'll just go ahead and apologize in advance if we ever come into contact with you, and your cute babies in a store. My dd is OBSESSED with babies right now. She has a radar and can spot them a mile away. I am constantly on guard, trying to keep her from touching/hugging and kissing every baby she sees...but sometimes I'm not fast enough.

 

I've had some mothers get VERY angry about it, but many are thrilled to see her trying to spread the love.

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I understand the resistance to it, but I also think we are way too "individualistic" in our culture, too separate and "my baby is mine". I loved visiting Bali with my 4month old and having the baby passed from waitress to waitress (and waiters) every time we ate. I really think it is a better culture when everyone loves on babies and we don't see them so much as "ours" in that very separate, western way that stops us also talking to our neighbours.

I think it is primal, personally, to love upon babies, so while yes in our society we have personal boundaries around such things, cutting people some slack for loving upon your baby is probably an easier way to handle it.

Well said.The irony is that half the time people here are complaining about the general public not being considerate toward children, and the other half they're complaining that society is too possessive of their children.:rolleyes:
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:grouphug: I agree. Once had a child walk up and ask to hold my baby. I was grocery shopping. I said no. She insisted she wouldn't drop him or run away or anything. I said no. She tried again, dh cut her off and said, "NO!" she ran off around the isle and was WAILING at her parents that someone would let them hold their baby. :glare:

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that makes complete strangers think it's acceptable to touch them? :angry: I do not go around touching random people or their grubby little children. It is not okay to touch my baby whenever you want. :cursing: Or my pregnant belly when I have one. :glare:

 

And why is it that people (and their kids) will ask if they may pet my dog, but not think twice about grabbing baby's hand and playing with it or touching my baby's face??

 

:banghead: People make me mad sometimes. ;)

:chillpill:
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Guest submarines
that makes complete strangers think it's acceptable to touch them? :angry: I do not go around touching random people or their grubby little children. It is not okay to touch my baby whenever you want. :cursing: Or my pregnant belly when I have one. :glare:

 

And why is it that people (and their kids) will ask if they may pet my dog, but not think twice about grabbing baby's hand and playing with it or touching my baby's face??

 

:banghead: People make me mad sometimes. ;)

 

Because your baby won't bite? :lol:

 

But seriously, it is almost the biggest pet peeve of mine as well. People have no boundaries at times! :grouphug:

 

I'm more forgiving when if it is an elderly person. Once a very elderly lady touched my newborn's foot, and smiled so sweetly, and so sadly. She said something about her babies being all grown. She was also very timid and apologetic, and looked almost surprised with herself for reaching for my dd's foot. It was a poignant moment. It was also the only time I didn't feel violated by a stranger's touch.

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Mexican ladies would KISS my baby at the public parks!:ack2:

 

YAY for besitos!! I can understand 100% why people wouldn't like it, but I have to say it makes my happy when the old ladies at our masjid kiss the girls heads. It's so full of sincere love. They're oblivious to the millions of (good) reasons you can't do anything to anyone anymore.

Old school kisses. :tongue_smilie:

 

I used to take my babies to work with me in a local shop. They were held and smooched by the whole town. :lol:

 

I also enjoyed how happy folks were to love my tummy. They want to do that because at that moment they remember how beautiful life is.

Edited by helena
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:)

 

My littles have eaten/or brought to their mouths glass, dirt, moss, petrified Oatie O's, dog & cat food; touched deer poop. You name it, they seemed interested.

 

Btw. I fixed my typo. I meant draw, not drawn. ;)

 

:lol: Exactly. My infant eats shoes and he likes to carry the cats' toys around in his mouth. He can survive people patting him.

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