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Does anyone get scared when home alone?


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Funny thing---I can spend the night at my friend's house and be FINE. I can spend the night here at home with the girls (11 and 12) and be fine but the very rare time that I am ALONE ALONE, I was a nervous wreck. I slept with the bedroom door locked even.

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I never worried much at all before, but we've just moved to a new house and now I feel like a Nervous Nellie. Last time dh was out of town I slept with the cordless phone and my cell phone.

 

If you get scared, what do you do to distract or reassure yourself?

 

Sarah

 

My dog lets me know if anyone is around, and she sounds like she is a huge ravenous wolf... but she is a big baby. As for reassuring myself, I find that my faith in God is a great thing for those times. I know that my days and steps are ordered by Him, and He's trustworthy. (Not to sound overly churchy - but this is me ;-)

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Don't ever watch the Panic Room. I made the mistake of watching it on DVD once when dh was out of town. I don't think I slept again until he returned. That was years ago, and to this day, if he's out of town and I have to get up in the middle of the night...I won't flush. :o (If you haven't seen the movie, you won't know what I'm talking about - but just trust me on this - Jodie Foster flushed and that was the start of her night of terror).

 

But here's some real advice: have one (or more) of the kidlets sleep with you. There's comfort in numbers.

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I'm laughing now - I can't believe you mentioned The Panic Room. This new house of ours actually has the equivalent of a concrete bunker. There's a room in the basement that is completely enclosed in concrete and has a steel door. It was a shooting range - apparently you can fire anything in that room and not hear it in the house. Anyhow, we haven't figured out what to do with it yet, but it reminds me of The Panic Room.

 

Aaaah!

 

Sarah

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I pile all the kids in bed with me and read until I can't keep my eyes open anymore so I will fall asleep quickly.

 

If I am really scared I will sleep with a light on. :o

 

This is what I will be doing tonight,lol. My problem is that my kids are teens now, and not usually wanting to snuggle with mama. But I can usually bribe them with a good movie and homemade kettle corn. ;)

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This is what I will be doing tonight,lol. My problem is that my kids are teens now, and not usually wanting to snuggle with mama. But I can usually bribe them with a good movie and homemade kettle corn. ;)

 

Hee Hee. Me, too! Dh can't get home because of the weather. This is the 2nd night in a row.

 

Now, if the power would stay on, it will make for a less creepy night. It keeps going off for 15-20 minutes at a time :rolleyes:

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Me, too.

My older son now declines to sleep in my room, but the 9 year old is still happy to keep me "warm and safe"

 

What a sweetie he is. Yeah, my Girlie still likes to snuggle occasionally, but it is rare for my Boy to do it. He surprisingly fell asleep in our bed about a week ago, though, and I had to leave- he is huge, and I had to deal with TWO snoring men! I ended up on the couch that night, lol.

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Two words for you: security system!

 

I had lived in multi-unit housing for 10 years before we moved into this house, and I was SOOOO paranoid about being alone at night. I'd be closed off in the corner room, nursing the baby to sleep, and have these visions of someone breaking in at one of the many new points of entry :( We finally activated the old security system and it gave me a much greater sense of safety. It's not foolproof, obviously, but at the very least, it would let me know if anyone got in through one of the doors and/or crossed the dark basement (motion sensor). Yeah, I'm easily freaked out these days!

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My hubby is military so I'd be in seriously trouble if I were scared when he was gone.:p

 

eta: BUT I am a terrible sleeper to begin with. One night I was dead asleep and heard a man's voice. I got up, turned on all the lights and didn't hear anything else or see anything out the windows. The next morning I found out someone had broken down one of my next door neighbor's doors! They apparently got scared off when I flipped on my lights because nothing was stolen. After that I slept with a shotgun under my bed.

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My husband travels, so I'm home alone frequently. Does having teenagers in the house count?:D

 

I end up staying up a bit later and getting up a little earlier when dh isn't home to snuggle with. ;) I'm careful to watch something HAPPY on tv before bed...Jay Leno, anyone? :p If I read, its the same. Nothing too intense or bloody before bed.

 

If I have trouble sleeping it is because I'm not working out during the day. It is amazing what thirty sweaty minutes of exercise can do for your sleep patterns.

 

We have a security system that I'm a bit intimidated by, but also dogs--big ones and good outdoor lighting.

 

When I've checked the locks and all I can do is done, I, too, pray and depend on God. Ultimately, that is the best security of all.

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I used to get scared but not so much anymore.

 

The turning point came when we first moved into this big house and my husband was working ut of town for a few weeks. I was up, way too late, and heard a noise.:eek: I grabbed the heaviest object that was close by...

 

 

it was a lightsaber! I walked around the house like a big 'ole chicken until I caught a glimpse of myself in the window.:o

 

A 34 year old woman attempting to ward off all things evil with a Star-Wars toy. I am better now.

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I don't get scared on my own but there have been times in the past when I have been. Since this is a new thing, it could be tied to the general free-floating anxiety that goes along with moving into new surroundings. Women evolved to have a pretty hair-trigger response to strange surroundings, so it could be that you're just more on alert because deep in your brain, your limbic system is screaming "Strange place! Danger!"

 

I would do whatever you do to deal with generalized anxiety. I distract myself, run a white noise machine, do deep breathing, and take fish oil.

 

Barb

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I know prayer will help and I thank you for the reminder. It's funny how I tend to try to rely on myself in times of stress instead of turning immediately to God. One day I'll learn... I feel better already just by being reminded that I'm not really alone and that He is with me.

 

The whole point of entry issue and it being different is probably what freaks me out the most. We have 6 points of entry here - it seems like a lot.

 

The house has a security system but we haven't activated it yet. I hadn't even considered that it could be on while I was inside; I was thinking of it as something that we'd arm before we left the house. I think I'll call the security firm tomorrow and see about activating it.

 

And we do have a very large dog with a very deep bark. I wonder about him sometimes as he's really just a big baby. He could be one of those dogs who makes friends with the burgler.

 

Thanks for all of your replies : )

 

Sarah

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And we do have a very large dog with a very deep bark. I wonder about him sometimes as he's really just a big baby. He could be one of those dogs who makes friends with the burgler.

 

Sarah

 

Remember the baddies out there don't know he is a baby. He *could* be an attack trained beast. :eek: They'll hopefully move on down the street and leave you and your beastie alone. :)

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I know what that's like, we have two sets of sliding doors, a front door, a door into my studio, garage doors that connect to the house, a separate entry door in the garage and lots and lots of windows. The views are nice, but at night I feel like I live in a fishbowl. We are most of the way up a 1/2 mile dead end street and our property is backed by brush and small trees. We even have coyotes in our neighborhood. Who would think it, we are in NY state! When we first moved here three years ago I heard every strange noise. Dh travels a lot for work and when he does it is usually half way around the globe, not just a few hours away. We have a largish dog who is a good barker, but also a good tail wagger. Sometimes the dog is the one who freaks me out. If he hears a noise in the evening and barks once or twice the hairs on the back of my neck go up. Then he settles back down as if nothing ever happened. Sheesh.

 

What has helped me is to put window coverings up even on the windows that don't face a neighbor and don't have privacy issues. I feel more closed in and secure. I have locked my door at bed time on occasion if it makes me feel safer. The thing that has helped the most is to pray for peace of mind and for protection for the house, and then to truly believe that it is received, because it is. After that I find my mind is calmed and my tension released. I feel the warm presence of God's protection and I can fall asleep.

 

Praying for you that your fear may subside.

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When my dh travels I always check all outside doors, lock the door to the basement and sleep with my purse with my keys and my cell phone by my side. You never know when you might need to leave the house through the window, right? :o

 

When we first relocated I used to get nightmares when my dh was gone. Now I don't get nightmares and I feel reassured to live in a town house, within "screaming" hearing range from my neighbors. In fact my dh would like to live in a house with land, but I know I would totally freak out when he traveled. I think this is because as a kid I always lived in an apartment, so all that space between neighbors seems dangerous in an emergency!

 

Mabelen

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My dog lets me know if anyone is around, and she sounds like she is a huge ravenous wolf... but she is a big baby. As for reassuring myself, I find that my faith in God is a great thing for those times. I know that my days and steps are ordered by Him, and He's trustworthy. (Not to sound overly churchy - but this is me ;-)

 

with the dog in the room (she always sleeps somewhere in the house), I feel better regardless of how much help a dog really would be in an emergency but she is there and she would tell me if someone crept up on the house. I am literally out in the woods on 7 acres and occasionally it's just me and the squirrels. But just like Mx5, I pray and take comfort in the fact that he has it all figured out...oh and I do double check that all the doors are locked!

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I'm only afraid when I don't have a dog - like when we come back from vacation and have to get him from the Kennel. My dog sleeps by my bed, and the dog before him did too. That feels like a personal body gaurd to me. It's not like guns can't kill a dog, but a dog will alert you quickly and that makes me feel safe. A snoring husband doesn't make me feel that much safer, honestly. He's big and strong and capable, but the dog is where my confidence rests.

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but a dog will alert you quickly and that makes me feel safe.

 

Is that where the Dane in Danestress comes from? :)

 

I totally agree with you. We lost our big Dane cross almost a year ago to cancer, and I could barely sleep. :( Not only was he lovable and sweet but he just made us all feel safe. We only lasted a few weeks without our big pooch before we had to get a new jumbo pup, Atlas the WonderDane. ;) He's far bigger and louder than his predecessor!

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When my husband goes out of town, I rely on my cell phone, my landline, and most of all my big, noisy dog.

 

Also, the kids and I all sleep in my room when we are home alone. Funny, all 4 used to fit in our king-size bed with me. Now they take turns, with 3 sleeping on the floor.

 

Our dog, for no reason I can see, will not go upstairs in our house (although he will climb stairs elsewhere with no problem). So I look at him as the first line of defense. he barks loudly, weighs 90 lbs. and looks a lot bigger than that because he has a ton of fur. hopefully any burglar would think twice about messing with him, and either way it would give me time to call 911.

 

It also helps that we live in a town in which there has been no serious crime since we moved here 12 years ago.

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When my dh is out of town I feel uneasy. I have to sleep with a light on in our kitchen. I also have a phone and a flashlight by me.

 

Last night he was out of town and the weather was bad. We had wind gusts over 50 mph. I was sure the electricity was going to go out but it didn't thank goodness but we kept on hearing weird noises coming from the roof so I'm hoping that everything is ok. It was very hard to sleep last night.

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I do. I usually stay up until 3am because going to bed is scary. I watch a movie or stay online. I'm thankful my husband doesn't travel much...my neighbor's husband is always traveling, and she's home alone with two little boys, and she's pregnant. Her house is always well lit, LOL! At least I have my almost 15yo son...that helps.

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Well, last night was fun. My dog woke me up with loud and continual barking at 4am. I listened for a couple of minutes (with my finger on the 9 button of the phone) and then heard coyotes howling. I resisted the urge to call my husband at that hour and ended up finally going back to sleep. Yikes.

 

The creaks are something I'm going to have to get used to. We had a TV in our bedroom in our old house and we don't in this house so I hear everything now. And with it being a new house all of the noises are new. And they always seem to stop when I go over to where I think they're coming from...

 

Dh gets home today. And it's funny that some of you have mentioned feeling safer with the dog than with dh. I can imagine countless situations where having dh home would not make a difference, and yet, no fear or unease enters my mind when he is home - as irrational as that may be.

 

Sarah

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We bought and sold two houses while dh was still working offshore . . . in both houses, I spent the first 5 - 6 days by myself until dh returned.

 

I freaked out, totally. The house felt different, sounded different, I wasn't sure if the neighbours were wingnuts -- the whole thing made me crazy.

 

In both houses, though, it was fine after that first stretch alone.

 

I did make sure all the windows were locked, door bolted -- the usual, and called anyone who would listen to me talk.

 

Cheers, T

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When my husband worked nights, I was used to it and rarely was spooked. Now that he is home if he is gone at night I get have to have everything locked up or I don't feel safe. I have these awful thoughts of what someone would do if they found an unlocked door. So glad we rarely watch tv anymore. My imagination doesn't need any help!

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