happygrrl Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I dropped the kids off at Church camp Sunday afternoon. The camp is 4 hours away, and the grounds are gorgeous! They were so excited, and the counselors seemed engaging and fun. There are about 100 kids in attendance, from ages 9- 16. The kids only know each other and the 5 kids that rode up with us. Yesterday evening we got a call from our priest (who is on staff at the camp this week). Apparently my youngest (almost 11) has a huge case of homesickness! They moved ds into a (older kids) cabin where he actually knows 2 other campers in the hopes it would help him feel more comfortable. The priest called again this morning so that ds could talk to us. After questioning from dh, it seems like there are no underlying issues (no bullying, food is fine, etc.). Campfire was "fun", crafts were "fun"...he has just never really been away from home, and misses us. DH said that DS was softly crying, and not sure he could make it. Our priest is driving home on Wednesday after lunch, and ds could come home with him. DH thinks he will be disappointed in himself if he bails on camp. Of course I have no idea what to think, with my instincts warring with each other on this one. So I turn to you, trusty hive! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happygrrl Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 Aw, Thank you Patty Joanna! What a great way to handle it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I'd go get him. I think your husband's "stick it out" thing just teaches kids that their feelings don't count… he doesn't want to be there - whether that "might" change or not isn't really the point. His current feelings are valid and should be honoured. JMO :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scuff Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I wouldn't go get him. That's a long drive and he could warm up to it still. I'd let him come home witht he priest on Wednesday. Who knows, with the promise of an end in sight, he may relax and enjoy himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I'd let the priest bring him home Wednesday. It gives him one more day to "stick it out" and change his mind, but also lets him come home earlier than scheduled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I'd go get him. My mama did it for me and I'd do it for my child. I've never understood the "stick it out" arguments. Do people think that because you get homesick at 11, you'll never leave the nest? I went away to college, and did just fine, despite needing to be picked up as a child from overnights. More than once.:blush: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I think agreeing that he can ride home on Wednesday would be a good compromise. That way, your son knows that you are okay with him coming home, and that you support and validate his feelings, but you're also giving him a chance to get used to it and decide he's okay. I was a camp counselor for many years, and I've seen kids have a rough time the first couple of nights and then get into the swing of things and be fine. Sometimes they just need a couple of days to get used to being away from home. Choosing to come home or not come home on Wednesday puts the ball in his court too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I voted let him ride home on Wednesday and Other. I'd encourage him to stay, and hope he connected with some of the other kids so that he'll want to stay. But I wouldn't force him. I'd let him choose what he wants to do on Wednesday. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 When is camp finished if he doesn't come home Wed? Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Eleven? First trip out? I say, "OK, Kiddo! You gave it a shot, and hey, we missed you, too." And bring him home and have a special date. Don't stigmatize it. He's just not ready. It's OK. He's 11. He'll feel safe to try again next year if he knows he can always come home. (hug) :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea1 Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Eleven? First trip out? I say, "OK, Kiddo! You gave it a shot, and hey, we missed you, too." And bring him home and have a special date. Don't stigmatize it. He's just not ready. It's OK. He's 11. He'll feel safe to try again next year if he knows he can always come home. (hug) :iagree: Very well said. Maybe next time he will be able to stay a bit longer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Camps generally do not let campers call home lightly, or offer them rides home, so I think you can assume the homesickness is pretty severe. I'd tell him it's his decision, no big deal either way. If he didn't have the offer of a ride on Wednesday, I'd go get him before making him stick it out till Saturday (assuming that's when camp ends), but I wouldn't make a special trip just to save one day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gailmegan Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I was a camp counselor for a few summers. I had quite a few that were homesick for the first day or two but then warmed up to it and had a great time and were really glad they stayed. If he isn't beside-himself-upset, I'd give it until Wednesday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 He's still quite young. Let him come home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Sounds like the priest has a good handle on the situation on the ground. I'd see how it plays out today and then let him ride home with the priest if he still wants to. Eleven is still young. No need for anyone at home to make a big deal of it when he gets home.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happygrrl Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 Thank you all so much! You are extremely helpful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happygrrl Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 When is camp finished if he doesn't come home Wed? Dawn Friday noon. It sounds like older ds is slightly homesick but not enough to bother coming to the phone. I have not heard about dd... likely she is running the camp by now...:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4kiddies Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I vote let him come home on Wednesday if that is what he wants. I went to camp when I was nine and HATED it! Worst experience of my life~ I was so homesick I cried every night for a full week! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chepyl Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I voted wait until Wed. It is possible that after one more day, he might change his mind; but if he doesn't, he gets to come home early. I tend to be the kind to make my kids stick with it. DS did not want to go back to VBS after the 1st day, he was just tired; I left him with his leader, crying, and waited outside with my phone so she could call if he did not stop. After 30 minutes I left, ran my errands and came back. He had had a blast. If he would have remained upset past the time I waited, I would have taken him home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 If the homesickness was bad enough that the counselors/priest couldn't get him to feel better than he is pretty bad off. Go get him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 DH thinks he will be disappointed in himself if he bails on camp. Been in the same situation with 10 y/o DS. We made him stick it out and at the end he was really glad he did it. I would pick up in case of sickness or severe bullying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joules Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Based on my personal experience, I would pick him up. My first camp experience was miserable and I was homesick. I had to stay the whole two weeks. I'm not sure if my parents would have picked me up as the camp never let me call home. I never went on another camp activity, just couldn't stand the thought of being trapped like that again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happygrrl Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 Can I tell you all how much I appreciate you? This forum is so wonderful!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I'd go get him. My mama did it for me and I'd do it for my child. I've never understood the "stick it out" arguments. Do people think that because you get homesick at 11, you'll never leave the nest? I went away to college, and did just fine, despite needing to be picked up as a child from overnights. More than once.:blush: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I voted to let him ride home on Wednesday. Then take him out for ice cream. Poor kid. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nrg Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I would have him ride home with the priest on Wednesday. Sometimes thinking there is just a little time left makes it easier. I would talk to him again just before he comes home to reassure him that whatever he chooses is fine. He might just need to know that he CAN come home if necessary in orde. to make staying possible for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I would let him come on home Wednesday. But, I would also push for him to have some more overnight experiences - with grandparents or with camp next year or something. I actually think that's important stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 The fact that he was homesick *in*the*morning* makes me think he should come home. Homesickness in the evening when kids are tired and emotional carries a little less weight for me -- but during the day when they *should* be distracted and having fun indicates a bigger problem to me. I'd encourage him to make it one more night and, if he still wants to leave with the priest, that that's okay. Yes, he may be a little disappointed with himself, but he'll get over it. He's young and he's given it a try. Give him a hug and tell him you missed him too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jen3kids Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I guess my question is this, "Is his homesickness interfering with the camp activities?" If he's participating and having fun but feeling homesick at night and first thing in the morning then I think I'd have him continue at camp. If he is miserable all day, then that is different. Camp staff have dealt with homesickness before and will do their best to keep those kids so occupied that they are too tired to feel lonely. Although too, too tired can make it worse! My dd went to Girl Scout camp camp for the first time last summer. She was 11 and said she cried every night, as did many of the girls in her cabin. When she got home she raved about how much fun she had and what they were going to do next year in one breath, and in the next breath would tell me she was never ever going back. She just got back on the weekend from summer camp and, yes, she missed us, but she had lots of fun. But there were 2 girls who did go home. Only you know and your dh know your son best. Don't minimize his feelings. If the staff let him call you, maybe that's the little bit of contact he needs with you. Or maybe commiserating with his older brother would help? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happygrrl Posted August 13, 2011 Author Share Posted August 13, 2011 Thank you all so much for your help! We decided to wait and see what ds wanted to do Wednesday morning. When the time came for Father to come home, ds was fine with staying! He managed to stay the entire time, and when we picked him up yesterday he was glowing (in a very tired sort of way :) ) I appreciate the ones who told me to go get him right away: it certainly made me attentive to being sure he knew he was being heard, his feelings were valid, and that we would come immediately if he gave the word. For the tough it out crowd: you helped *me* tough it out! This is my baby after all, and I can be a bit sentimental where he is concerned. Wednesday folks- thanks for the encouragement! Your intuition was spot on. Love you all! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 ...He managed to stay the entire time, and when we picked him up yesterday he was glowing (in a very tired sort of way :) )... Oh! That's awesome! :) Glad he had a great time. I bet he's very proud of himself. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Thanks for the update! I'm glad it went well for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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