my husband and i

[happycc]

My husband and I took a test on our educational philosophies. we are totally different in our views. he score high on school at home views. whereas i did not school anything on traditional schooling but high on thematic and classical education. how is this going to effect us when we begin homeschooling his daughters in the fall?

[Ellie]

My husband and I took a test on our educational philosophies. we are totally different in our views. he score high on school at home views. whereas i did not school anything on traditional schooling but high on thematic and classical education. how is this going to effect us when we begin homeschooling his daughters in the fall?

It depends.

 

In our house, since I was the one home full-time, I was the homeschooling parent, and so I chose our methods and materials and whatnot. What Mr. Ellie's educational philosophy was didn't have that great an effect on how *I* homeschooled.

 

If it is the same in your home--that is, if you will be doing most of the teaching--I suspect it will be the same. The person who does the teaching gets to make the choices, it seems to me.

 

What do you think?

[NorCalMom]

Hmmm.....I wouldn't stress over it at this point. For our family, our homeschool philosophy has evolved over time. It's not quite the same now as when I first started 4 yrs. ago. I would start by sitting down and listing what your goals are for your children and review them together. Then go from there.

[happycc]

plus I am just the step mom...

 

I am not sure how much he wants to manage this..

[NorCalMom]

plus I am just the step mom...

 

I am not sure how much he wants to manage this..

 

I'm sorry, I'm really no help here. Maybe some moms of blended families can chime in....

[Rosie_0801]

Around here, she who does the research trumps he who doesn't.

 

We're only doing preschool, so obviously we aren't up to the nitty gritties, but we have gotten over the hurdle of convincing him to let me homeschool :tongue_smilie: His ideas are nothing like mine, but he's comfortable that I have good reasons for what I plan on doing. He brings up concerns when he has them, but so far it's never anything I haven't thought about already. He would do things differently, but he doesn't think his way is the one and only right way and I'd better be doing it that way or else.

 

I suppose it works the same way as any other disagreement in a marriage. I guess you need to find out what your hubby thinks principals do so you will know whether you are willing to work under those conditions.

 

Rosie

Edited June 6, 2011 by Rosie_0801

[HSMom2One]

"Only the StepMom"???? I'd say you are one HEROIC, loving and dedicated stepmom to sacrifice your time and efforts on educating dh's children, benefiting their lives beyond measure. You should, therefore, have an equal say.

 

I would respectfully, but firmly stand my ground.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[Hunter]

The children are his daughters, but it sounds like they will primarily be YOUR STUDENTS?

 

Homeschooling is a HUGE undertaking and worthy of respect. it is not respectful at all, for you to have no input, but still to be expected to be the primary teacher. If he wants you to just act as a tutor/substitute teacher, and he is willing to do all the lesson planning and purchasing and worrying and is the primary teacher maybe it would work for him to set the style and methods.

 

But even then, I'd be very sad if I had to spend 5 days a week teaching with methods that were not my teaching style.

[LittleIzumi]

"Only the StepMom"???? I'd say you are one HEROIC, loving and dedicated stepmom to sacrifice your time and efforts on educating dh's children, benefiting their lives beyond measure. You should, therefore, have an equal say.

 

I would respectfully, but firmly stand my ground.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

:iagree::iagree:

 

If he's the principal he can buy the books and the lunches while you choose the curricula & do the teaching :lol:.

[happycc]

Thank you everyone for your words of wisdom.

I will have to tell him since I am doing all the researching and such....that it trumps him except he holds the purse strings.....agh!

[Joyoflearning]

I don't think it has should be a "my way" or "his way". When you are married it is a partnership and your ideas are to be shared. Just because you each scored differently on educational approaches doesn't mean that there won't be agreement on ultimate materials and philosophies. I believe that many people first trying to wrap their head around what homeschooling looks like has an automatic idea of "school at home" because we think about improving on "traditional school" by being at home. The more research is done, the more that our homeschool philosophies change. That may be why you don't lean towards school at home (Just a guess). The more we try certain things, the more we are going to learn what is going to work for our family, for each student, and for the person doing the teaching. It is important for both parents (biological or step) to be in agreement even if it means that the one doing the research is informing the other (when their sick of hearing about it). I think that it is great that dad is taking this quiz and has ideas because now you have a starting point about what you might be seeing differently and you can discuss it as a team how to approach it. You can each contribute ideas that will play to the family's strengths. :001_smile:

[Rosie_0801]

Whose idea was it, anyway?

 

:)

Rosie

[Anne]

Way back in the dark ages when I started homeschooling, neither my dh or I knew much about it. I knew more b/c I was the one doing the research. He had opinions, of course, and they were important even if they weren't based on much knowledge - b/c he LOVED HIS CHILDREN! My job was to share the things I was learning with him so that he had more information and also to listen to his concerns. As another poster mentioned, our "philosophy" evolved quite a bit over the years, but it seems to have all worked out. We homeschooled both of our children through high school and the youngest just graduated from college.

 

Treat it as an educational adventure for your whole family - remember that he loves his children, too - and help him to understand why you're interested in classical and thematic education!

 

P.S. - what's the test you mentioned? I haven't heard of this.

 

Anne

[EthiopianFood]

Whose idea was it, anyway?

 

:)

Rosie

 

:iagree:

[happycc]

I guess mine, then the girls and then him.

[mazakaal]

Can you come to some kind of a compromise? Try doing some 'school at home' materials for some subjects, probably math and language arts, and then do thematic study for history and science. I don't agree with the 'she who does the research trumps he who pays the bill' philosophy. My dh has never had a lot of opinion on what curriculum I choose, but if he did, I would certainly take his views into consideration. They are his kids too. Ask him to research possible curriculum choices with you so that you can find something that you both agree on.

[Rosie_0801]

Ah well. Then you need to put on your biggest, most enthusiastic smile, flutter your eyelashes and convince him that what you want to do is going to produce smarter, more accomplished and more charming girls than what his current ideas would produce. And of course you'll all think he's the most fabulous fellow around for allowing/funding it.

 

They're more or less the tactics I used, anyway. :lol:

 

My fella wanted to know:

 

a) The kids would be educated no worse than the public schools.

I helpfully pointed out anything bad the local papers said about the local schools (the Catholic school was the only decent high school in town and we're not Catholic) and every fabulous thing I read about homeschooling. Words and phrases like "thorough," "sequential," "tailored to the child" and "far, far less teaching to the test" were well taken. There are also some fabulous threads on the high school board every so often.

 

b) They would be technologically literate.

No worries, but with all due respect, Dear Husband, I'm in the better late than early camp on this topic. We'll debate the merits of DVORAK v QWERTY once they can actually write using pens, ok? :lol:

 

c) That I will be capable of changing my plans once the kids are old enough to demonstrate other needs.

The logic board mammas were helpful here. Some of them are raising kids who definitely do not sit under the "average" banner. So he knows I have access to that sort of info and support.

 

Eventually my hubby decided that someone who researched as much as I did would have to do a reasonable job. It also helped that I blogged what we did. I don't think he reads it, but the fact that it is there so he can monitor what is going on if he wants to helps. There are guidelines about for how many hours to put in per grade and they helped dh adjust his ideas and expectations too.

 

So much more wordy than necessary, but I'm milling around waiting for dh to come home and dinner is cooked, so I've nothing much to do except chat :tongue_smilie:

 

I don't agree with the 'she who does the research trumps he who pays the bill' philosophy.

In my opinion, only "I'm paying the bill, so you have to do what I say even though I have done no research whatsoever and refuse to listen to any of the research you have done" type men invite the above. People usually care enough about their families to be more reasonable.

 

Rosie

Edited June 6, 2011 by Rosie_0801

[WishboneDawn]

I don't understand why this has to be a one-against-the-other situation.

 

Lots of schools use classical materials. You can mesh the two views quite easily. Don't give him ultimatums or draw a line in the sand. You know what approach he wants so sit down with him and ask him what he wants in an English program or a math program. How important is spelling? What does he want out of history and science? Do your research here and find programs that will work for you both. Use a more schooly core but add projects that are themed. Pick programs that could be themed (Writing Tales with it's use of Aesop would pair well with SOTW 1 and the Classical world for instance).

 

Don't die on the Classical hill right now, especially when you're just starting out. Neither of you REALLY know what style really works because you haven't had a chance to really homeschool yet. It doesn't have to be perfect or all one approach right form the get go. Slow down, lower the hackles and work together on this. :)

 

ETA: You should REALLY focus on the fact that you've got something a whole lot of HSing moms don't. An engaged and eager-to-have-a-say husband!

[morosophe]

Why does your husband like traditional schooling?

 

My husband would probably score rather similarly on a test like that, while I might score with you. Along with what posters have pointed out above about a lack of research, part of that is his experience talking, because, after all, he went to public school and did perfectly well. Part of it is that he's worried I'll "miss stuff." And part of it is that he's very much a checklist ticker: he likes making specific plans and completing them. It turns out that our oldest son shares a love of checklists with his dad, and always wants to know exactly what's supposed to happen, although I've tried explaining to him that life doesn't work like that. Still, he loves his predictable worksheets.

 

While I'm coming from a different general philosophy of homeschooling, I do appreciate a completed checklist and worry about "missing stuff." I was privately schooled, however, and even then I was "ahead" of the class about 90% of the time. That doesn't mean that I was a particularly gifted student, by the way--it was more that the two or three students having trouble with a particular topic would slow the rest of the class down. I feel like I was just treading water academically at school until high school, when the tracking our school did paid off in more exciting classes for me.

 

Plus, I was an English major for a reason. I love good books. Textbooks don't qualify. My history major husband completely agrees with me on that, particularly in the area of history textbooks. He read Lies My Teacher Told Me ages ago, when our first was still a baby and we hadn't even seriously considered homeschooling. While he considers most of that book socialistic claptrap, its description of how history textbooks are created and for what audience both enlightened and appalled him. Besides, the entire idea of textbooks being the be-all, end-all for history is troubling to a true history scholar.

 

To build up your children's skills, however, the textbooky approach is actually a very valid one. You need a slow, incremental approach that covers one lesson at a time and applies them right away; you can't really afford to go skipping merrily around, or you (or your child) really could miss something foundational. Skills your child needs include phonics, writing, spelling, grammar, math, and perhaps thinking skills. As I pointed out in another thread recently, sometimes children figure phonics out on their own more quickly than a phonics program manages to teach it, and some people just are natural spellers. Still, both of those subjects are pretty valuable for a student, and one of the advantages of schooling at home is that you can tailor a program to your student or even drop it entirely when you feel the subject has become unnecessary.

 

Therefore, there are some very "schoolly" resources out there that you will find even homeschoolers on these boards enthusing about. For instance, I love my Rod & Staff grammar book, even though I won't start using it with my son until next year, because it seems like a thorough introduction to the topic that covers material slowly and gently enough to allow it to really sink in. For another example, Singapore math (which I don't use, by the way) is often highly praised around here.

 

A side note: Math-U-See, which I do use, has been used in the classroom, I believe. Even better, the Math-U-See program includes DVDs or videos of its creator teaching a classroom of students for each and every lesson. I just let my son watch those for his math--it's worked very well for us so far! (Yes, I might just as well be sending him to school for that one lesson, I know, I know. And I also know that Math-U-See has been accused of "missing stuff." But my son enjoys it and seems to be moving steadily along, so I think I'll stick with it for now.)

 

As for the rest, if your husband harbors the same concerns about "missing things" that mine did (and does), have you considered a "living books" approach that plans everything out for you, so he can feel confident in the fact that your approach is thorough and shared by hundreds or thousands of other home schooling mothers? That's what I did--it was also a great way to get my feet wet. (Well, actually I got my feet wet with unit studies for kindergarten, but I'm assuming that your stepdaughters are older.) We use Sonlight for now, which I love, but there are others available: Winter Promise, Heart of Dakota, Veritas Press, just to name the few that I can remember. (These are all Christian programs, by the way.) Most of these focus on history and literature, and/or science sometimes, but offer additional resources or suggestions for the other subjects. Meanwhile, the community of experienced users of the product will provide reassurance for your husband and support for you.

 

Or at least, it worked for us!

 

You can always branch out more as you go on. Your husband will hopefully learn to trust you, you will learn to trust yourself, and everyone will learn more about what does and doesn't work for your students. I think that's pretty much inevitable whenever you homeschool and whatever your flavor.

[JudoMom]

Can you come to some kind of a compromise? Try doing some 'school at home' materials for some subjects, probably math and language arts, and then do thematic study for history and science. I don't agree with the 'she who does the research trumps he who pays the bill' philosophy. My dh has never had a lot of opinion on what curriculum I choose, but if he did, I would certainly take his views into consideration. They are his kids too. Ask him to research possible curriculum choices with you so that you can find something that you both agree on.

 

:iagree:

 

Keep talking to him. If he won't read books, then find articles and highlight the important bits. Discuss what you've read with him. Try to come to a compromise. Take his views and ideas into account when making decisions (my dh sees things differently than me or sees things I miss, and he's often right). Homeschooling takes enough energy without fighting with your spouse about it.

[johnandtinagilbert]

I don't think it has should be a "my way" or "his way". When you are married it is a partnership and your ideas are to be shared. Just because you each scored differently on educational approaches doesn't mean that there won't be agreement on ultimate materials and philosophies. I believe that many people first trying to wrap their head around what homeschooling looks like has an automatic idea of "school at home" because we think about improving on "traditional school" by being at home. The more research is done, the more that our homeschool philosophies change. That may be why you don't lean towards school at home (Just a guess). The more we try certain things, the more we are going to learn what is going to work for our family, for each student, and for the person doing the teaching. It is important for both parents (biological or step) to be in agreement even if it means that the one doing the research is informing the other (when their sick of hearing about it). I think that it is great that dad is taking this quiz and has ideas because now you have a starting point about what you might be seeing differently and you can discuss it as a team how to approach it. You can each contribute ideas that will play to the family's strengths. :001_smile:

:iagree:

 

We're on year 12 of home schooling and dh still thinks like a public schooler/school-at-home b/c he has no clue about home schooling, beyond being glad we (I) do it. The two mesh fine b/c of math books and CONTENT (over material choice). You'll be fine. Don't make a mountain out of this mole hill.

[NittanyJen]

Two thoughts: nothing you start out with is carved in stone -- things evolve, just as in most aspects of parenting.

 

I recently asked my husband to write a "guest blog" for my blog from the non-primary teacher/parent's point of view, and I had no idea what he would write. The result was amazing. You and your husband might find some interesting discussion from his "What to expect when you're expecting... To live with homeschoolers!" blog entry. You guys won't be doing everything we do-- you're a different family-- but the dynamics he explores might be interesting to talk about.

 

Good luck!

 

http://Http://hillandalefarmschool.blogspot.com/

 

Jen

[abbeyej]

Oh, those "tests" are just SILLY! Really. :) The best thing it can do for you is give you a starting point for discussions. Not your "scores", but go back over the individual answers, "Okay, what did you pick for this question? Why?"

 

I think you will likely find that your differences aren't so huge as you may think.

 

It sounds like the main difference is that your husband may want a slightly more structured environment than you do. But your results don't indicate that you want an *un*structured environment.

 

*Talk*! :) Really. Find out what he wants their schooling to look like. Find out if he even *cares* what the day-to-day looks like as long as they're learning. (A lot of dads really *are* happy to hand over the smaller decisions within home schooling as long as their wives are content and the kids are growing and learning in positive ways.) Let him know what your hopes and expectations are.

 

You guys will figure this out, perhaps with a little trial and error. Don't let a silly quiz throw you off. :)

[TheAutumnOak]

"Only the StepMom"???? I'd say you are one HEROIC, loving and dedicated stepmom to sacrifice your time and efforts on educating dh's children, benefiting their lives beyond measure. You should, therefore, have an equal say.

 

I would respectfully, but firmly stand my ground.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

 

:iagree:

You are not only the stepmom...You and DH are raising the children together...

 

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

If he's the principal he can buy the books and the lunches while you choose the curricula & do the teaching :lol:.

 

:lol: My Dh says that he is the principal here and that is what he does! :tongue_smilie:

[TheAutumnOak]

Way back in the dark ages when I started homeschooling, neither my dh or I knew much about it. I knew more b/c I was the one doing the research. He had opinions, of course, and they were important even if they weren't based on much knowledge - b/c he LOVED HIS CHILDREN! My job was to share the things I was learning with him so that he had more information and also to listen to his concerns. As another poster mentioned, our "philosophy" evolved quite a bit over the years, but it seems to have all worked out. We homeschooled both of our children through high school and the youngest just graduated from college.

 

Treat it as an educational adventure for your whole family - remember that he loves his children, too - and help him to understand why you're interested in classical and thematic education!

 

P.S. - what's the test you mentioned? I haven't heard of this.

 

Anne

 

:iagree:

This is great advice, well said...I also wonder what test this is...

[Dinsfamily]

You have gotten a lot of good advice. I'd also like to add two things:

 

1. that pnilosphy changes when put into practice. Educational philosophy is a good starting point but it isn't the sole factor on choosing curricula. You'll have to compromise to accommodate your teaching style, dc's learning style, cost, etc. You and your dh have a lot of room for compromise and you can always try things out for a period.

 

2. Having a well-formulated plan can go a long way with dh. My dh was a little concerned that I wasn't planning on testing our dc. I think he wanted the proof that everything was going well. However, when he saw my plans and then witnessed me being faithful putting them into action, he relaxed. Then, as he saw our dc thriving and learning, he dropped the issue altogether. Your dh might be more willing to let you explore your less traditional tendencies if he can see your well-crafted plans.

 

I can understand that being a stepmom could cause some different challenges but since you and dh both have the same goals and priorities (doing what's best for the dc), it doesn't need to impact curricula choices.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

the one who does the TEACHING is the one who makes the decisions about curriculum-materials-anything related to the homeschooling process--that's how it works in my house with me doing the teaching-the hubby just observes LOL

[MeaganS]

I'm going to wager he doesn't even know what his educational philosophy means in practice. I'd just search our curriculum you'd like to use, and then talk to him about their merits individually, rather than as an over-arching philosophy. You may have your philosophy and work it in, but a lot of time that isn't immediately recognizable. Someone doing traditional style and classical may still used the same math program, for example. Or you may be able to find a history program that is all put together like Tapestry of Grace that is classical and thorough, and he may not even realize it is more classical than traditional. Just focus on the qualities of individual curriculum for each subject and don't get into the overarching philosophies behind it. If your dh is anything like mine, he will stop listening at the word "curriculum" and be fine with whatever anyways.

[Daisy]

You are over the biggest hurdle. You are all in agreement that home education is the way to go.

 

I'd get catalogs, research, plan and then show him what you come up with. Share it with enthusiasm and conviction. He may come around. If not, then perhaps you can compromise using textbook-based learning for core subjects such as math and language arts and a more thematic/flexible approach to history, science, etc.

[Ellie]

plus I am just the step mom...

 

I am not sure how much he wants to manage this..

I don't want to be involved with family dynamics, but (1) he needs to discuss things with the children's mother to be sure she's ok with homeschooling; (2) if she's ok with it, then the truth is still that the person who is doing the actual teaching gets to do the actual choosing; but (3) if he is adamant that things be done the way he wants them, then he gets to teach when he gets home from work, and you can can hang out with the dc during the day. JMHO.

 

I understand your use of "just the step mom." That puts you in an awkward position sometimes, regardless of how much mothering you actually do.

[Mandy in TN]

I don't understand why this has to be a one-against-the-other situation.

 

Lots of schools use classical materials. You can mesh the two views quite easily. Don't give him ultimatums or draw a line in the sand.

:iagree:Look at products designed for classical classrooms and see if there is something you like.

 

Neither of you REALLY know what style really works because you haven't had a chance to really homeschool yet. It doesn't have to be perfect or all one approach right form the get go. Slow down, lower the hackles and work together on this. :)

:iagree:Try putting a couple of subjects in action this summer and see how it goes.

 

ETA: You should REALLY focus on the fact that you've got something a whole lot of HSing moms don't. An engaged and eager-to-have-a-say husband!

:iagree:

 

Mandy

[happycc]

However I just don;t want to hear it down the road that I didn;t give his girls a good education. Or when he comes home he is grumpy because it doesn;t look like a regular school with grades given out for everything and the kids aren;t taught at their own grade levels. I was planning of combining science and history for the three of them. That we aren;t following the school schedule exactly-we might do a little in the evening or perhaps on the weekend. That's all.

 

I did homeschool for five years with my older kids.

[Love2teach0307]

The best discussion I ever had with my dh about home schooling was getting inside his head to see what his education experience had been. I have one dd that is EXACTLY like him in how she thinks and I didn't feel like I was really reaching her. So I set him and asked him what kind of teachers did he like, what kind of activities helped him see concepts, what kind of books/curriculum appealed to him as a child, etc.

 

That really got him to thinking about what he would like our girl's eduction to be like, whether we put them in school or not. He boiled down his expectations to he wants our girls to communicate well and be very ready for college when the time comes (get scholarships, etc). He realized there are several ways to get to our goals, and that we would reassess periodically to see if things need to change. As you get to teach your new kids, you'll both see things you'll need to change to reach your goals. I really hope for you to have a good experience teaching b/c it's so much fun homeschooling!

[Mom0012]

My husband and I took a test on our educational philosophies. we are totally different in our views. he score high on school at home views. whereas i did not school anything on traditional schooling but high on thematic and classical education. how is this going to effect us when we begin homeschooling his daughters in the fall?

 

Well, who is homeschooling the kids? You or your husband?:D

 

In our house, homeschooling is my job and my husband doesn't tell me how to do it any more than I would try to tell him how to do his.

 

Lisa

[DianeW88]

It depends.

 

In our house, since I was the one home full-time, I was the homeschooling parent, and so I chose our methods and materials and whatnot. What Mr. Ellie's educational philosophy was didn't have that great an effect on how *I* homeschooled.

 

If it is the same in your home--that is, if you will be doing most of the teaching--I suspect it will be the same. The person who does the teaching gets to make the choices, it seems to me.

 

What do you think?

 

:iagree: I'm the teacher. I make the choices.

[WeeBeaks]

What are the learning styles of the children? That should have a good bearing on how you teach.

 

Past that, I would say this is a very good time to show your kids how to compromise and come to a workable agreement as adults.

[staceyobu]

I'm going to wager he doesn't even know what his educational philosophy means in practice. I'd just search our curriculum you'd like to use, and then talk to him about their merits individually, rather than as an over-arching philosophy.

 

This is what I am wondering as well. Is he the type to read up on things? Would he read the well trained mind? Will he look at catalogues? Is he in love with a specific textbook curriculum?

 

I don't see why you couldn't use classical materials in a more traditional fashion (if this is what he has in mind). Does he want textbooks? Tests? Or are you just basing this on a random online quiz? If he wants textbooks, a lot of classical curriculum uses a textbook as a spine anyways. If he wants tests, some curriculum comes with those as well. Or maybe when he says narration, handwriting, and math papers, that will be enough anyways?

[LittleIzumi]

However I just don;t want to hear it down the road that I didn;t give his girls a good education. Or when he comes home he is grumpy because it doesn;t look like a regular school with grades given out for everything and the kids aren;t taught at their own grade levels. I was planning of combining science and history for the three of them. That we aren;t following the school schedule exactly-we might do a little in the evening or perhaps on the weekend. That's all.

 

I did homeschool for five years with my older kids.

 

I think you definitely need to have a nice talk with him about education & tailoring it to each of your individual children. There's a huge difference between homeschooling and school at home. We homeschool because we have problems with public schools, generally, so recreating that 100% might not be the best plan. IMO.

[mhg]

I definitely think that since you are giving up your time and dedicating so much of your life to this worthy pursuit that it would be appropriately respectful of him to defer to you in this, however one thing came to mind in this situation. I'd be sure that we were on the exact same page as to how LONG we plan to homeschool as that would make a substantial difference in the homeschooling path. What do I mean? Well, if you are considering hs'ing them until they reach jr high or high school, then issues regarding how to prepare them for that transition would be important. Different paths prepare them for "re-entry" into the various school settings. So, I'd start with the end in mind. If you KNOW that you're going the duration K-12, then I wouldn't blink twice about going with your preferences. For example, if you're going to introduce them into a public school say in 6th grade, then you may want to consider teaching in a way that will prepare them for this "re-entry" as classical would likely be very different than the educational methods received by public schooled kids. jsut a thought fwiw.

[Hunter]

You have 5 years of homeschooling experience under your belt. You know what your teaching style is. Teachers have a right to teach with their strengths, rather than to be hobbled with a style they don't excel at.

 

If your husband and his ex-wife would like you to homeschool their girls, they need to respect your position as a teacher, even if they do not respect your position as a parent.

 

Maybe I'm reading between the lines incorrectly...but I don't think I would homeschool these girls. It sounds like there is already some strain in people's roles and status.

 

Even though you are "just the stepmom" you are no less valuable a PERSON. You should be treated with respect and your contributions should be valued and appreciated. You shouldn't have to be afraid of doing your best and then being blamed for what was impossible to foresee or is not your fault. Will he hold the PS teachers to the same standards he will hold you to?

 

Personally i wouldn't do this until some family dynamics get straightened out, first. It sounds kind of like getting a puppy when no one has time to stay home with it. It doesn't turn out to be any fun :-(

 

Blended family issues can be SO hard :-( God bless you whatever you decide to do. And take good care of YOU :-) Cause...you are WAY more than "just a stepmom"! You are a lovely and unique woman with a lot to share, if people are open enough to receive it.

[Snowfall]

You have 5 years of homeschooling experience under your belt. You know what your teaching style is. Teachers have a right to teach with their strengths, rather than to be hobbled with a style they don't excel at.

 

If your husband and his ex-wife would like you to homeschool their girls, they need to respect your position as a teacher, even if they do not respect your position as a parent.

 

Maybe I'm reading between the lines incorrectly...but I don't think I would homeschool these girls. It sounds like there is already some strain in people's roles and status.

 

Even though you are "just the stepmom" you are no less valuable a PERSON. You should be treated with respect and your contributions should be valued and appreciated. You shouldn't have to be afraid of doing your best and then being blamed for what was impossible to foresee or is not your fault. Will he hold the PS teachers to the same standards he will hold you to?

 

Personally i wouldn't do this until some family dynamics get straightened out, first. It sounds kind of like getting a puppy when no one has time to stay home with it. It doesn't turn out to be any fun :-(

 

Blended family issues can be SO hard :-( God bless you whatever you decide to do. And take good care of YOU :-) Cause...you are WAY more than "just a stepmom"! You are a lovely and unique woman with a lot to share, if people are open enough to receive it.

 

:iagree:

[EthiopianFood]

You have 5 years of homeschooling experience under your belt. You know what your teaching style is. Teachers have a right to teach with their strengths, rather than to be hobbled with a style they don't excel at.

 

If your husband and his ex-wife would like you to homeschool their girls, they need to respect your position as a teacher, even if they do not respect your position as a parent.

 

Maybe I'm reading between the lines incorrectly...but I don't think I would homeschool these girls. It sounds like there is already some strain in people's roles and status.

 

Even though you are "just the stepmom" you are no less valuable a PERSON. You should be treated with respect and your contributions should be valued and appreciated. You shouldn't have to be afraid of doing your best and then being blamed for what was impossible to foresee or is not your fault. Will he hold the PS teachers to the same standards he will hold you to?

 

Personally i wouldn't do this until some family dynamics get straightened out, first. It sounds kind of like getting a puppy when no one has time to stay home with it. It doesn't turn out to be any fun :-(

 

Blended family issues can be SO hard :-( God bless you whatever you decide to do. And take good care of YOU :-) Cause...you are WAY more than "just a stepmom"! You are a lovely and unique woman with a lot to share, if people are open enough to receive it.

 

I hate to say it, but I do believe this is the voice of wisdom here. :(

[justamouse]

You have 5 years of homeschooling experience under your belt. You know what your teaching style is. Teachers have a right to teach with their strengths, rather than to be hobbled with a style they don't excel at.

 

If your husband and his ex-wife would like you to homeschool their girls, they need to respect your position as a teacher, even if they do not respect your position as a parent.

 

Maybe I'm reading between the lines incorrectly...but I don't think I would homeschool these girls. It sounds like there is already some strain in people's roles and status.

 

Even though you are "just the stepmom" you are no less valuable a PERSON. You should be treated with respect and your contributions should be valued and appreciated. You shouldn't have to be afraid of doing your best and then being blamed for what was impossible to foresee or is not your fault. Will he hold the PS teachers to the same standards he will hold you to?

 

Personally i wouldn't do this until some family dynamics get straightened out, first. It sounds kind of like getting a puppy when no one has time to stay home with it. It doesn't turn out to be any fun :-(

 

Blended family issues can be SO hard :-( God bless you whatever you decide to do. And take good care of YOU :-) Cause...you are WAY more than "just a stepmom"! You are a lovely and unique woman with a lot to share, if people are open enough to receive it.

 

I'm with Hunter, too. :grouphug:

[ALB]

I recently asked my husband to write a "guest blog" for my blog from the non-primary teacher/parent's point of view, and I had no idea what he would write. The result was amazing.

Jen

I loved reading his blog entry! I can't wait to share it with my dh. Thanks!

[Mom0012]

plus I am just the step mom...

 

I am not sure how much he wants to manage this..

 

I haven't read all the posts, but I just noticed that you are the stepmom. I am a stepmother too and I would want my husband totally on board with what I was doing if I was homeschooling his daughter, but I wouldn't be willing to teach them in a way that made me miserable. I would not homeschool if I didn't feel as though I had 100% of his support and trust in the way I was teaching. Otherwise, I do think it could backfire.

 

I would have been willing to homeschool my own sdd, but she is an extrovert and didn't want to be homeschooled. Plus, it would have generated a lot of conflict with her mother. In our situation, I am very glad I didn't, because my sdd has severe lds that we weren't aware of when I started homeschooling my other two. She finished high school a couple of years ago and did VERY poorly academically. Perhaps I could have helped her do much better, but her disabilities are so great, I still don't think she would have done as well as her mother, grandmother and father would have wanted. That would have left me as the natural one to point the finger at.

 

If you have standardized tests from the years the kids have already been in school, I would hold onto them tightly, so you have a comparison of how they were doing at school versus home should any issues come up in the future.

 

Lisa