What do you say/do when your child wants to go to PS?

[m0mmaBuck]

DD5 will be kindergarten aged next year and wants to go to "real school" with other kids, a teacher other than mom, desks and tables, and the whole deal. She frequently talks about her "old school" (she was in a daycare/learning center for about 1 yr before I pulled DS from PS), her old teachers, her old friends, projects they did, etc.

 

What do you say to make them want to stay home?

[circusmom98]

Hopefully someone has some wise counsel because I have been in the midst of this with my oldest for about 6 months now :( It has been really hard!!!!

[Ellie]

A 5yo? I say, "No, dear. You *are* in real school. The other place was the away-from-home school. This is better, and it's where you're staying."

 

And then you make sure what you're doing at home is way more interesting. You also do lots of PR: When you drive by a school and see the children on the playground, you say, "Oh, those poor children. They have to be away from their mothers all day long, bless their hearts." You do something really fun during the week, in the middle of the day, and you say something like, "Boy, I'm sure glad we didn't have to miss out on this because y'all had to go to school." See? :D

[EJCMom]

I would explain to her that public school would be different that what she remembers at the learning center. There would be different kids, a different teacher, different projects -- or even no projects if the teacher doesn't have time for that. Then I would involve her in planning some projects for the upcoming year. If she feels like she's part of the process she may be less resistant to it.

[Sputterduck]

I have told my son that school children have to sit all day in one room and aren't allowed to talk. They have limited time to eat, can only go potty with permission, etc.

Instead of all the things we get to go out and do every day, he'd be sitting in the same chair at the same desk every day, not allowed to wiggle even or talk to the people around him.

It works wonders because he is extremely social and not getting to go out and talk to tons of people every day like we do while having to sit and stay silent all day would make for a very unhappy boy.

[Joanne]

DD5 will be kindergarten aged next year and wants to go to "real school" with other kids, a teacher other than mom, desks and tables, and the whole deal. She frequently talks about her "old school" (she was in a daycare/learning center for about 1 yr before I pulled DS from PS), her old teachers, her old friends, projects they did, etc.

 

What do you say to make them want to stay home?

 

At 5?

 

I say "no". If I have a persistent child, I say "that is enough; the conversation is over".

 

At Jr. High, I say "No, but what can we do to make homeschooling better for you". (I happen to believe Jr. High is the worst time to send a formally homeschooled child to school).

 

At High School, I say "Let's talk about the options".

 

I don't really care to bother to make a 5 year old want to choose to stay home:

 

1) They don't get to make the choice.

2) They don't even know what they are choosing.

3) They don't get power/say in major decisions.

[Random]

At 5?

 

I say "no". If I have a persistent child, I say "that is enough; the conversation is over".

 

At Jr. High, I say "No, but what can we do to make homeschooling better for you". (I happen to believe Jr. High is the worst time to send a formally homeschooled child to school).

 

At High School, I say "Let's talk about the options".

 

I don't really care to bother to make a 5 year old want to choose to stay home:

 

1) They don't get to make the choice.

2) They don't even know what they are choosing.

3) They don't get power/say in major decisions.

 

 

:iagree:

 

At age 5, your child has to trust that you love him/her and you know what is best.

[Plucky]

Just say, "Oh we don't do that in our family right now." And then turn off Barney and any other show that depicts kindergarten or school as wonderful.

[dangermom]

My 5yo wanted to go to school to be with her friends. I explained the truth to her--that every one of her friends went to a different school in town, and she would only be able to be with one.

 

When it comes up, I try to have an honest conversation about what she's thinking would be in a school. She is sometimes blown away by small unknown facts like that she would not be allowed to read over her lunch.

[EJCMom]

Maybe I'm strange? I guess I just feel like even at 5 a child wants to know that her feelings are important. Not that you have to try to convince her to see it your way. At the end of the day you're the parent, and it's your decision. But I wouldn't just dismiss her by telling her that. I would try to find out what needs she's trying to fulfill by wanting to go to PS, and then try as best as you can to meet those needs. I think that just brushing her off about this by telling her that she doesn't get to make that decision could backfire. It could make her resistant to homeschooling and that would just be counterproductive. It's much easier to homeschool a cooperative child than an uncooperative one.

[m0mmaBuck]

I think it might just be a 5 year old thing. Everyone ask them about school and when will they go to school and aren't they excited about school. How can they know they want to go somewhere they have never been? It's just curiosity.

 

This is probably very true in DD's case. Not only have I had to talk with my MIL (a teacher) about her constantly talking to DD about "when she starts kindergarten in the fall" and "when she goes to school with the other kids" and "when she gets to ride the bus".... but I'm sure DD hears about school from her other friends who already attend the local PS.

[m0mmaBuck]

Maybe I'm strange? I guess I just feel like even at 5 a child wants to know that her feelings are important. Not that you have to try to convince her to see it your way. At the end of the day you're the parent, and it's your decision. But I wouldn't just dismiss her by telling her that. I would try to find out what needs she's trying to fulfill by wanting to go to PS, and then try as best as you can to meet those needs. I think that just brushing her off about this by telling her that she doesn't get to make that decision could backfire. It could make her resistant to homeschooling and that would just be counterproductive. It's much easier to homeschool a cooperative child than an uncooperative one.

 

This is how I feel and why I asked the question.

[jenn-]

My middle boys asked once when they would go to "real school". I replied, "never". End of story for them. They don't know anything other than being at home though.

 

When I pulled my oldest out, we had a lot of tears and wanting to go back. We were doing what was academically best for her and pretty much just told her no for those first few months. Getting really involved with our homeschool group helped. What helped the most for us (not going to help you though) was when she started competitive gymnastics. She only asked once to go back to school after that. I handed her the phone and told her to call her coach and tell her why she was quitting the team as she cannot go to school and stay a competitive gymnast (it wouldn't be academically possible for her to handle the homework and practice times). She's never asked again even on her worst days.

[newlifemom]

I think for my kids, they wanted to ride the bus. Can you take a day and ride the bus with your child around town?

 

I am a bit mixed with how I would respond. I think it depends on the child and the situation although ultimately, I would say b/c I said so.

 

I do believe it is a desire in many kids at that age and in the case of my children, they grew out of it.

[MorganClassicalPrep]

I agree that it is important (even at 5!) that a child feel their feelings are important and have been taken into consideration.

DD went through a period of time when she kept insisting that she was going to school. I just explained to her that there were all different kinds of schools, and that she goes to school at home. Then I told her if she went to school, she would never get to see mommy, since many of my classes are at night.

 

Just a few weeks ago, her cousin asked if she went to kindergarten, and DD said "I'm homeschooled. It's much better because I don't have to take naps and we do fun crafts and French!" :D

[Plucky]

Maybe I'm strange? I guess I just feel like even at 5 a child wants to know that her feelings are important. Not that you have to try to convince her to see it your way. At the end of the day you're the parent, and it's your decision. But I wouldn't just dismiss her by telling her that. I would try to find out what needs she's trying to fulfill by wanting to go to PS, and then try as best as you can to meet those needs. I think that just brushing her off about this by telling her that she doesn't get to make that decision could backfire. It could make her resistant to homeschooling and that would just be counterproductive. It's much easier to homeschool a cooperative child than an uncooperative one.

 

I don't think it is that complicated. All of mine asked about kindergarten and they didn't go. No problem here. It's just what everyone is talking about at 5. I wouldn't make it bigger than it really is.

[RahRah]

I have told my son that school children have to sit all day in one room and aren't allowed to talk. They have limited time to eat, can only go potty with permission, etc.

Instead of all the things we get to go out and do every day, he'd be sitting in the same chair at the same desk every day, not allowed to wiggle even or talk to the people around him.

It works wonders because he is extremely social and not getting to go out and talk to tons of people every day like we do while having to sit and stay silent all day would make for a very unhappy boy.

 

:iagree:

 

I also remind mine about the 1-hour bus ride to and from school each day (while the school is less than 2-miles away, it's crazy) and that he'd have to wake up while it's still dark to get ready for the long bus ride and that he'd not get home until almost dark because of that long bus ride.

[Guest CarolineUK]

We went through this with DS6 last September. I very nearly gave in and let him go as I really didn't feel at all comfortable saying "No, I'm the one who decides and you're not going". I had even arranged to go to visit the school with the intention of enrolling him. In the end I just couldn't do it. I really didn't believe it was in his best interests and DH backed me up. It helped that DS10, who went to school for four years and completely hated it, makes it very clear that he would do anything rather than go back to school. In the end I told him that we should leave it a year and if he still wanted to go back next September then he could. He's now been totally indoctrinated with anti-school propaganda by DS10 and doesn't want to go back for a minute.

 

It's now DS3 who has decided he wants to go school :rolleyes:, and according to the school system here he should start this September. I've told him, very matter of factly, that he's too young and that I don't believe in sending children to school before they're seven.

 

I think this is a dilemma which will keep arising over the years (except with DS10). As they get older I will feel more inclined to let them go if they really want to, while secretly hoping that, like DS10, they'll hate it and want to come home again :001_smile:. For some children it can be the best thing - DS11 has never been homeschooled, would never want to and I'd never insist on it.

 

Good luck. It's a very difficult situation.

[Haiku]

 

What do you say to make them want to stay home?

 

Nothing. I said no. I didn't try to sell homeschooling. I didn't try to make it seem better than school. We homeschool. That's just the way it is. Most of the public school parents I know would never entertain the idea of homeschooling or try to sell school to their kids. They just send them. We just homeschool. It's what we do.

 

Just about every homeschooling five year old I have ever met or heard of claimed at age five to want to go to school. The vast majority of them outgrow this idea. My kids are now appalled at the idea of going to school.

 

Tara

[ocelotmom]

This was us a few years ago, except that DS had never been to daycare/preschool so didn't have that experience for comparison.

 

Being a part of a homeschool group and having him already know homeschoolers was invaluable - he knew that he wasn't the only kid homeschooling, and that he'd still have friends. We actually joined the homeschooling group and started attending park days when he was 3.5. Some groups readily accept pre-homeschooling families, and others don't.

 

We chose to enroll in an independent study program offered through our school district, where he was able to attend workshops for about 3 hours a week. I know such things aren't an option everywhere, but if not, maybe there's a co-op or something similar around that would fill that niche.

 

By the time he got through K, he had no particular desire to go to public school. Even since moving away from our lovely homeschool group and independent study program, and getting a lot less social contact, he now has enough of an idea of what public school is like to prefer homeschooling. He probably could have talked us into it for this year (we'd just moved, and I was in my third trimester at the start of the school year), but he preferred to stay home.

 

(DD has also said she wants to go to K. We just told her "No, this is how we do it." and assured her that she could still be in Daisies if she did K at home. This actually resulted in a lot less drama than with DS, probably because we positively addressed her real concern, which wasn't school.)

Edited March 25, 2011 by ocelotmom

[justamouse]

I said No. And No. And Way the Hell No. At that age I don't entertain it because they have no idea whats the best for them.

 

My 11 year old and his father and I are discussing him going into PS HS because there are a few opportunities for him that we wouldn't be able to facilitate for him in any other way. But it's a discussion that's taking its time with a lot of weighing of pros and cons and seeing how strong these interests of his lie.

[ocelotmom]

I think for my kids, they wanted to ride the bus. Can you take a day and ride the bus with your child around town?

Our homeschool group has had discussion about renting a schoolbus for a field trip of driving around residential streets for hours on end to address this issue :)

[Plucky]

Our homeschool group has had discussion about renting a schoolbus for a field trip of driving around residential streets for hours on end to address this issue :)

 

Give them all large bottles of juice before the trip, too. Nothing says unpleasant like a full bladder and an unsympathetic bus driver. :lol:

[m0mmaBuck]

One of her concerns is that she wants "real school" but that, in her mind, means a class full of kids her age and a teacher that isn't me. I don't want her to be miserable at home but I don't plan to send her to PS so I'd like to enter into next year with everyone feeling positive about HS'ing. I'm planning to buy some curriculum specifically for her (a phonics/reading program and math) in the hopes that having her own schedule will make her feel like HS is "real school."

 

She already takes dance classes 1x/wk and next year she will start meeting with AHG 1x/wk so hopefully that helps with her desire to be around a group of like-aged kids.

 

Hopefully that's enough.

[Elizabeth in WA]

I tell my eight year old, "No." Then I make sure she has lots of social time with other little girls, because that is what she really wants. She also wants easier schoolwork, but life is tough all over. Additionally, I have had 3 at home and 1 in school and it was awful with the school drop-off/dismissal, parent needed assemblies/parent-teacher confs, etc.interrupting my homeschool and killing much of our flexibility with the rigid adherence to the school calendar. Then the homework afterschool after I have already spent all day teaching and enforcing work habits absolutely kills me. My boys are all adamantly opposed to returning to public school.

 

That said, I'd send a 5 year old to half day kindy if he or she wanted to go and the public school environment at my local school was reasonable. That would still leave me plenty of time to teach what I want to and give the child plenty of social time. Full day kindy, not so much however, if homeschooling first grade was my intent.

[oldskool]

At 5?

 

I say "no". If I have a persistent child, I say "that is enough; the conversation is over".

 

At Jr. High, I say "No, but what can we do to make homeschooling better for you". (I happen to believe Jr. High is the worst time to send a formally homeschooled child to school).

 

At High School, I say "Let's talk about the options".

 

I don't really care to bother to make a 5 year old want to choose to stay home:

 

1) They don't get to make the choice.

2) They don't even know what they are choosing.

3) They don't get power/say in major decisions.

 

 

:iagree:

 

This is the same opinion I have. My dd went to a great preschool with only 10 children in a class and wonderful families and teachers. She really wanted to go to Kindergarten because her idea of school was this idealized environment. I knew though that public school kindergarten was not what she imagined (we went through it with the older two kids) and so it was not even a discussion that needed to go far. Since this dd is very social and loves "school" like activities, I try to make sure that she has those opportunities. She is in music, karate, and swimming which gives her the social time and she feels it is like being in a class. I also got her a desk, put posters on the wall, and have a morning meeting where we do calendar, weather, etc.. My other kids didn't need this, but I am willing to do it if it keeps dd happy. She needs less of it now then when we first started homeschooling her. I know that homeschoolers don't have to do "school at home", but they certainly can if that is what works for the child.

 

 

Lesley

[momma aimee]

5 year olds are small children, they have no concepts and no understanding.

 

I do not think you need to 'sell being at home' or make a child 'want to be at home'. School is a choice given to the parents, not the children. You can clearly school at home in a manner that fits your child's style; but you are the parent. I try to make things my child have to dfo enjoyable -- go to the docotr, eat veggies, etc -- but i do not "sell it" -- it is what it is and I am the momma (and dad is the daddy) and that is our job.

 

*shrug*

[momma aimee]

At 5?

 

I say "no". If I have a persistent child, I say "that is enough; the conversation is over".

 

At Jr. High, I say "No, but what can we do to make homeschooling better for you". (I happen to believe Jr. High is the worst time to send a formally homeschooled child to school).

 

At High School, I say "Let's talk about the options".

 

I don't really care to bother to make a 5 year old want to choose to stay home:

 

1) They don't get to make the choice.

2) They don't even know what they are choosing.

3) They don't get power/say in major decisions.

 

Perfect :001_smile:

[EJCMom]

One of her concerns is that she wants "real school" but that, in her mind, means a class full of kids her age and a teacher that isn't me. I don't want her to be miserable at home but I don't plan to send her to PS so I'd like to enter into next year with everyone feeling positive about HS'ing. I'm planning to buy some curriculum specifically for her (a phonics/reading program and math) in the hopes that having her own schedule will make her feel like HS is "real school."

 

She already takes dance classes 1x/wk and next year she will start meeting with AHG 1x/wk so hopefully that helps with her desire to be around a group of like-aged kids.

 

Hopefully that's enough.

 

Do you have a designated school area? We transitioned our dining room into a school room. I know some people are really against the "school at home" thing, but my kids felt like they were missing out just doing school at the dining room table. I found some used school desks on Craigslist for $20 each, and they gave us the chairs that went with them for free. They were from a Christian school that had closed. Then, we hung up a world map, US map, and other school posters on the wall. That gave it a more "official school" feel. I would also make a big deal about shopping for school supplies. Sit down with her and make up an official school supply list, and then save those supplies for just school time. My kids also really wanted backpacks, even though they really didn't need them. So, we went ahead and got them and we just bring them to the library whenever we go so they each have their own bookbag. IDK...I really liked the whole ritual of school and shopping for school supplies when I was a kid. I still love shopping for school supplies, actually. :D Maybe doing stuff like that will help her. Plus, if she's part of the planning and shopping she'll find that she likes it even better than public school.

[Joanne]

Maybe I'm strange? I guess I just feel like even at 5 a child wants to know that her feelings are important. Not that you have to try to convince her to see it your way. At the end of the day you're the parent, and it's your decision. But I wouldn't just dismiss her by telling her that. I would try to find out what needs she's trying to fulfill by wanting to go to PS, and then try as best as you can to meet those needs. I think that just brushing her off about this by telling her that she doesn't get to make that decision could backfire. It could make her resistant to homeschooling and that would just be counterproductive. It's much easier to homeschool a cooperative child than an uncooperative one.

 

I've homeschooled all mine through these ages, with public schooled kids coming before and after to our home.

 

I just don't believe a 5 year old knows what "school" *is*, really. They know what they see in media. :001_huh:

 

Stick around; I'm totally an advocate for children's feelings, input and needs. I just don't think in the context of homeschool vs. public school for a 5 year old, it is helpful.

[m0mmaBuck]

I tell my eight year old, "No." Then I make sure she has lots of social time with other little girls, because that is what she really wants. She also wants easier schoolwork, but life is tough all over. Additionally, I have had 3 at home and 1 in school and it was awful with the school drop-off/dismissal, parent needed assemblies/parent-teacher confs, etc.interrupting my homeschool and killing much of our flexibility with the rigid adherence to the school calendar. Then the homework afterschool after I have already spent all day teaching and enforcing work habits absolutely kills me. My boys are all adamantly opposed to returning to public school.

 

That said, I'd send a 5 year old to half day kindy if he or she wanted to go and the public school environment at my local school was reasonable. That would still leave me plenty of time to teach what I want to and give the child plenty of social time. Full day kindy, not so much however, if homeschooling first grade was my intent.

 

We don't have the option of half day kindy (you are either in or you are out) and even if we did, I'm not sure that would fit with our family (again, as you said, you lose your flexibility and that is one of the things that keeps me HS'ing).

 

Where do you find kids her age for her to socialize with? DS has friends through his previous stint in PS as well as Scouts, but kindy is a bit difficult in that respect. She has dance class for 30 mins 1x/wk but the girls cannot chit-chat during class. So for now that's it for her.

 

 

Since this dd is very social and loves "school" like activities, I try to make sure that she has those opportunities. She is in music, karate, and swimming which gives her the social time and she feels it is like being in a class. I also got her a desk, put posters on the wall, and have a morning meeting where we do calendar, weather, etc.. My other kids didn't need this, but I am willing to do it if it keeps dd happy. She needs less of it now then when we first started homeschooling her. I know that homeschoolers don't have to do "school at home", but they certainly can if that is what works for the child.

 

 

Lesley

 

DD has dance class but the kids can't socialize during that... Next year she will start AHG so perhaps that will be an outlet. I may have to do more of the "school at home" for her to get that out of her system.

 

Do you have a designated school area? We transitioned our dining room into a school room. I know some people are really against the "school at home" thing, but my kids felt like they were missing out just doing school at the dining room table. I found some used school desks on Craigslist for $20 each, and they gave us the chairs that went with them for free. They were from a Christian school that had closed. Then, we hung up a world map, US map, and other school posters on the wall. That gave it a more "official school" feel. I would also make a big deal about shopping for school supplies. Sit down with her and make up an official school supply list, and then save those supplies for just school time. My kids also really wanted backpacks, even though they really didn't need them. So, we went ahead and got them and we just bring them to the library whenever we go so they each have their own bookbag. IDK...I really liked the whole ritual of school and shopping for school supplies when I was a kid. I still love shopping for school supplies, actually. :D Maybe doing stuff like that will help her. Plus, if she's part of the planning and shopping she'll find that she likes it even better than public school.

 

We don't have space in the house to make an official school area as you've described but maybe the school supply ritual will help.

[Elizabeth in WA]

We don't have the option of half day kindy (you are either in or you are out) and even if we did, I'm not sure that would fit with our family (again, as you said, you lose your flexibility and that is one of the things that keeps me HS'ing).

 

Where do you find kids her age for her to socialize with? DS has friends through his previous stint in PS as well as Scouts, but kindy is a bit difficult in that respect. She has dance class for 30 mins 1x/wk but the girls cannot chit-chat during class. So for now that's it for her.

 

Kindy was half day in the district we lived in when ds13 was that age. He loved it. Where we live now kindy is full day. My daughter socializes with neighborhood kids; we have 2 in her grade next door and a few others nearby within a couple years of age that she plays with regularly. She also does gymnastics where she socializes considerably more than she is supposed to. DS13 is also very social, but he is a serious gymnast and does most of his socializing during his 20+ hours of practice a week, with an additional two hours open gym with a friend who dropped off team this year and lab portions of science done with his best friend's family once a week. My other two are not terribly social and do not hang out with neighborhood kids, but I do drag them off to several hours of tae kwon do a week and the aforementioned lab sciences.

[6packofun]

At 5?

 

I say "no". If I have a persistent child, I say "that is enough; the conversation is over".

 

At Jr. High, I say "No, but what can we do to make homeschooling better for you". (I happen to believe Jr. High is the worst time to send a formally homeschooled child to school).

 

At High School, I say "Let's talk about the options".

 

I don't really care to bother to make a 5 year old want to choose to stay home:

 

1) They don't get to make the choice.

2) They don't even know what they are choosing.

3) They don't get power/say in major decisions.

 

 

Exactly. Perfect. I agree on all points.

[sewingmama]

My DD is in PreK 3 days a week right now. I've started warning her that soon she will graduate and won't be going to public school any longer. She was quite resistant to this idea and replied that she wanted to stay in kindy forever :D

 

I told her that at school the teacher gets to choose everything they have to learn and that she had to learn it whether she wanted to or not. I told her that at home she would be allowed to choose SOME of the things she wanted to learn herself. Well immediately she gave me this long list of things she wanted to learn and then asked if I could teach her all that. I said yes (the list was reasonable and doable) and since then she has been very excited at the thought of staying home and being able to learn things of her own choosing.

 

I think maybe finding something your DD is totally interested in and promising to teach it to her (and it doesn't have to be huge - two of the things my DD listed were cooking and sewing) and then tell her they don't teach that at school but I can teach you that here at home - get her excited about it.

[Mom0012]

We don't have the option of half day kindy (you are either in or you are out) and even if we did, I'm not sure that would fit with our family (again, as you said, you lose your flexibility and that is one of the things that keeps me HS'ing).

 

Where do you find kids her age for her to socialize with? DS has friends through his previous stint in PS as well as Scouts, but kindy is a bit difficult in that respect. She has dance class for 30 mins 1x/wk but the girls cannot chit-chat during class. So for now that's it for her.

 

 

 

My son never expressed an interest in attending school, but he did go to preschool and he enjoyed that. Kindergarten here is still half a day and I put him in the after-K program at the place where he went to preschool. That was really nice for him.

 

Lisa

[cat]

my son was 5, he was in a private christian school. It was about after the first 6 weeks I realized his teacher didn't like him..... he found himself in the office 5 times that year.... I asked him "Do you want to stay in that class or move to a different one?" He said, "Stay, because I like my friends". So I left him there to complete the school year. My biggest regret was to listen to him!!!! After that year, I put him in public school.... a couple of months into it he said to me out of nowhere "Mom, I'm really not a bad kid." I said "where did that come from", and he replied "because last year my teacher was always sending me to the office and I haven't been once this year." I wish I had not listened to him!!!!

 

After 2 years in PS, I decided to homeschool...... because he was being bullied and the school was ignoring it. I am thankful for the first experience because I had always told myself that if I didn't like what was going on at his school, he wouldn't stay.... and I'm so thankful that I kept up my end.

 

Happily Homeschooling for 3 years!

[Haiku]

Heh, mine too. I don't know why though.

 

With mine I think it's because they see their older sister gone all day and then come home with homework. They know that they would not be able to attend all the things we attend were they in school.

 

Tara

[kalanamak]

I haven't faced this, but I've thought about it, and brought up the topic myself. Especially to a 5 year old, I'd say "Honey, I understand you think you'd like it, but really, it is a lot of sitting still and being very bored. Now, time to [eat dinner, do your math, go to bed, get in the car, open the door and let the cat out... whatever was going on just then]"

 

To MIL, I'd have a quick chat about how this is causing grief to your daughter, and you just know she'd never mean to do that. If she persists, I'd have a sit down with hubby and her and tell her it is time to stop, that you are not changing your minds, and that to pull a 5 year old in as a pawn on this is infra-dig.

 

Since I've met you, I am quite sure she is out of line. It is obvious you think before acting, have thought about hs, have the capability to do it, and will do it well if you say you'll do it at all. MIL is out of line. Misguided or malevolent, she needs to get back in line. :grouphug:

[pqr]

At 5?

 

I say "no". If I have a persistent child, I say "that is enough; the conversation is over".

 

At Jr. High, I say "No, but what can we do to make homeschooling better for you". (I happen to believe Jr. High is the worst time to send a formally homeschooled child to school).

 

At High School, I say "Let's talk about the options".

 

I don't really care to bother to make a 5 year old want to choose to stay home:

 

1) They don't get to make the choice.

2) They don't even know what they are choosing.

3) They don't get power/say in major decisions.

 

 

Wow!!!! We are in agreement at least until the high school part where the answer is still No.

[momma aimee]

I just don't believe a 5 year old knows what "school" *is*, really. They know what they see in media. :001_huh:

 

Stick around; I'm totally an advocate for children's feelings, input and needs. I just don't think in the context of homeschool vs. public school for a 5 year old, it is helpful.

 

:iagree:

 

I will go a step more and say you can be respect of a child's feeling and thought without giving them any say in a decision. You can listen, discuss and in the end say "I understand, and I will _____ but I am the momma you schoo here."

[Shannon in TN]

Our homeschool group has had discussion about renting a schoolbus for a field trip of driving around residential streets for hours on end to address this issue :)

 

:lol:

[Shannon in TN]

I still get that question from my dd who is 8 years old. All I do with her is remind her that we take extra field trips, finish our school day usually by 1:00 (and her friends in ps still have an hour and forty-five minutes), have "fun Tuesdays" when we can, and take gymnastics in the morning with a small class being taught by the owner of the gym. That usually shuts her up.

 

On another note, a friend whose son had similar questions in 1st or 2nd grade took a different approach. She and her son visited a ps class for a few hours so he could see what it was like. It worked for her (probably because of all the restrictions someone listed a while back, like no talking and sitting still) and as far as I know, he hasn't brought it back up.

[m0mmaBuck]

Kindy was half day in the district we lived in when ds13 was that age. He loved it. Where we live now kindy is full day. My daughter socializes with neighborhood kids; we have 2 in her grade next door and a few others nearby within a couple years of age that she plays with regularly. She also does gymnastics where she socializes considerably more than she is supposed to. DS13 is also very social, but he is a serious gymnast and does most of his socializing during his 20+ hours of practice a week, with an additional two hours open gym with a friend who dropped off team this year and lab portions of science done with his best friend's family once a week. My other two are not terribly social and do not hang out with neighborhood kids, but I do drag them off to several hours of tae kwon do a week and the aforementioned lab sciences.

 

There are a couple of girls in the neighborhood who are close to her age. I guess I will have to make a point of getting to know their parents a little better. She has dance class and will have AHG starting next year so perhaps that will feed her need.

 

My DD is in PreK 3 days a week right now. I've started warning her that soon she will graduate and won't be going to public school any longer. She was quite resistant to this idea and replied that she wanted to stay in kindy forever :D

 

I told her that at school the teacher gets to choose everything they have to learn and that she had to learn it whether she wanted to or not. I told her that at home she would be allowed to choose SOME of the things she wanted to learn herself. Well immediately she gave me this long list of things she wanted to learn and then asked if I could teach her all that. I said yes (the list was reasonable and doable) and since then she has been very excited at the thought of staying home and being able to learn things of her own choosing.

 

I think maybe finding something your DD is totally interested in and promising to teach it to her (and it doesn't have to be huge - two of the things my DD listed were cooking and sewing) and then tell her they don't teach that at school but I can teach you that here at home - get her excited about it.

 

That's a great idea.

 

I haven't faced this, but I've thought about it, and brought up the topic myself. Especially to a 5 year old, I'd say "Honey, I understand you think you'd like it, but really, it is a lot of sitting still and being very bored. Now, time to [eat dinner, do your math, go to bed, get in the car, open the door and let the cat out... whatever was going on just then]"

 

To MIL, I'd have a quick chat about how this is causing grief to your daughter, and you just know she'd never mean to do that. If she persists, I'd have a sit down with hubby and her and tell her it is time to stop, that you are not changing your minds, and that to pull a 5 year old in as a pawn on this is infra-dig.

 

Since I've met you, I am quite sure she is out of line. It is obvious you think before acting, have thought about hs, have the capability to do it, and will do it well if you say you'll do it at all. MIL is out of line. Misguided or malevolent, she needs to get back in line. :grouphug:

 

So deal with DD in a way similar to the "pass the bean dip" but on a child's level... I like it!

 

Yes, MIL has a tendency to overstep her bounds with our family and needs to be put back in line from time to time. She is a nice woman but ... you know how that goes. In this case, I doubt she is speaking out of malevolence but rather because it probably never occured to her that I wouldn't send DD to PS just because I don't send DS any more. I will have a discussion with her tomorrow at our weekly family dinner to discuss our education plans for the kids and make sure she knows that, while I want them to be excited about school, our school is at home (and the park and the zoo and the museums and the world).

 

Thank you for your kind words. :001_smile:

 

I still get that question from my dd who is 8 years old. All I do with her is remind her that we take extra field trips, finish our school day usually by 1:00 (and her friends in ps still have an hour and forty-five minutes), have "fun Tuesdays" when we can, and take gymnastics in the morning with a small class being taught by the owner of the gym. That usually shuts her up.

 

On another note, a friend whose son had similar questions in 1st or 2nd grade took a different approach. She and her son visited a ps class for a few hours so he could see what it was like. It worked for her (probably because of all the restrictions someone listed a while back, like no talking and sitting still) and as far as I know, he hasn't brought it back up.

 

The extra field trips, game days, short school days, and outside activities are enough to keep DS9 wanting to stay home but DD... She just thinks she's missing out on something wonderful by not getting on that big yellow bus. I would be afraid to take her to a class for fear it would backfire (knowing this child) and she would want to stay at school forever.

[m0mmaBuck]

BTW, I do appreciate all of the "because I'm the mom and I make the decisions" type responses and ultimately it will come down to what I want for her but it will be so much easier with this particular child if she sees HS as "real school" and preferable to PS.

[momma aimee]

BTW, I do appreciate all of the "because I'm the mom and I make the decisions" type responses and ultimately it will come down to what I want for her but it will be so much easier with this particular child if she sees HS as "real school" and preferable to PS.

 

do you have any books where the kids (animals or human) homeschool -- there are so many "going to school" books and "mrs nelson's first grade ______" books --

 

i think it is vital for the kids to see home education as 'real' and not just 'not in school yet' --- some kids eat vegan, some eat meat, some go to school buildings, some school at home.

 

maybe a few books, that just happen to be added to the family colllection where homeschooling is the norm??

[m0mmaBuck]

do you have any books where the kids (animals or human) homeschool -- there are so many "going to school" books and "mrs nelson's first grade ______" books --

 

i think it is vital for the kids to see home education as 'real' and not just 'not in school yet' --- some kids eat vegan, some eat meat, some go to school buildings, some school at home.

 

maybe a few books, that just happen to be added to the family colllection where homeschooling is the norm??

 

 

Do you have any suggestions? I don't know of any books of this type and I think it would be wonderful to have around.

[AnthemLights]

I am new to the forum so first let me say hello. :001_smile:

 

About the question: I went through this with my oldest when I first started homeschooling her. She had never been to public school, but she knew what it was like. We talked about it and what she was longing for was the structure, the desk, the blackboard......the "trappings" of public school." So we moved from the kitchen table to an official school room set up like she wanted. That was the last time she ever mentioned wanting to go.

 

I understand that my experience won't apply to every situation, but maybe by talking about it with your dc you could find such an easy solution with her.

[stripe]

I think for my kids, they wanted to ride the bus. Can you take a day and ride the bus with your child around town?

 

Mine did/do, too. They also enjoy public transportation. And we did get to ride/climb on a schoolbus a few times at public functions. I don't think they're so excited, though, about getting up in the wee hours of the morning and waiting outside in the cold. I rode a school bus for years (1 hour each way) so I must confess a lack of excitement, but I tried to humor them. One kid thought by standing on the street and waving down a bus (taking kids home, no less), one would stop and do a "pick up." Ha.

[Murphy101]

No.

 

That's pretty much it.

 

If they have a particular interest, then we can discuss ways to go about meeting that.

 

But to go to ps?

 

Just no. It's not up for negotiation.

[KristinaBreece]

Mine did/do, too. They also enjoy public transportation. And we did get to ride/climb on a schoolbus a few times at public functions. I don't think they're so excited, though, about getting up in the wee hours of the morning and waiting outside in the cold. I rode a school bus for years (1 hour each way) so I must confess a lack of excitement, but I tried to humor them. One kid thought by standing on the street and waving down a bus (taking kids home, no less), one would stop and do a "pick up." Ha.

 

Our public transportation system has some white buses, and some yellow buses. FIL just retired & got a PT job driving the yellow public trans. bus, so I hope we'll be able to avoid that issue altogether. When the kids want a bus ride, we go with grandpa on a route.