Danestress Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 There. I said it. I don't care for turkey. I don't really love the side dishes. I am fond of oysters, but not enough to make it worth enduring the day. Actually, I probably would like the food fine if someone else cooked it. I hate a sample of turkey and gravy and Trader Joes today and thought, "Okay, that was good. Can we call that 'dinner' and quit?" I hate big family meals, even though there is not one single member of my family that I don't like. I hate us all in one room together. I hate the clean up. I hate the production. I feel like Thanksgiving is just a massive burden placed on the mothers of the world. We don't really care about food that much, do we? I mean, honestly, I will go out tonight for sushi with DH, and will far prefer that, as far as food goes. I Next year, I am taking my son to a tennis tournament in Louisville. We will be eating at whatever restaurant is near our hotel. I swear, even if he breaks his ankle and can't play, I am GOING to go to Louisville and pretend that the tournament is really important to us, and simply can't be missed. While I am complaining, I would like to know what cosmic force it is that made my cooktop, dishwasher, washing machine and car all need to be repaired or replaced this week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 :grouphug: I think you should do whatever you want for Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving, mostly because we go to Cracker Barrel, just Patrick, the kids, and me. No stress, no clean-up. Do we get grief for it? Sure, but who cares? Not me. If you want sushi, go for it. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 TWhile I am complaining, I would like to know what cosmic force it is that made my cooktop, dishwasher, washing machine and car all need to be repaired or replaced this week. This is always the case! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I hope you are pleasantly surprised by dinner tomorrow!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mo2 Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 While I am complaining, I would like to know what cosmic force it is that made my cooktop, dishwasher, washing machine and car all need to be repaired or replaced this week. It's the same cosmic force that required I spend my ENTIRE last paycheck fixing the car. Yes, that was the paycheck I had designated for buying the kids' Christmas presents. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 I want sushi! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 Make what you want for Thanksgiving. It isn't supposed to be about the food. It is a day to be thankful. If you want to be thankful that you don't have to cook turkey and all the sides, cook something else. I've put a spin on what is traditional to us. I haven't cooked a thing all day today except whole cranberry sauce. I'll put the turkey on tonight so it cooks over night. If we were staying home I'd bake some sweet potatoes and make some green beans and call it good. No more will I slave in the kitchen for two days for a meal that will last us less than 20 minutes to consume. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oakblossoms Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 I find thanksgiving food to be really unhealthy. I don't like Turkey. Last year we had it here and I told them if they wanted Turkey they had to bring it and prepare it. I wasn't going to do it. I did make a tofurkey in the crockpot though. We normally do burritos. We started it one year and it stuck. We have gone to my husband's side of the family in the past. It's such a huge ordeal. All the women are in the kitchen and all the men sit and watch TV. My husband and I hate it. He hates sports. Your suppose to be having a thankful day. It's just seems so unpeaceful to us. We had a small early one this year. It was nice. It was pretty healthy food. I just brought rolls and cider. If it wasn't snowing I had thought about going down to beach and making hot dogs or something there. Healthy hot dogs of course:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted November 24, 2010 Author Share Posted November 24, 2010 To just say, "I don't want to this year, so I am not going to." But I have the sweetest, nicest Mom in the world who would totally understand but be disappointed. She would then feel like she has to do all the cooking for the rest of the family. I just can't do that to her. Plus, my kids and husband would be nice about it, but also so disappointed. They don't really get how much work it is, and having them help would probably make it even more work. I guess Thanksgiving sort of highlights the extent to which a relatively independent woman who has traveled around the world by herself, obtained various degrees, felt empowered to reject her parent's faith (or lack thereof) and find her own, etc, can still feel completely unable to say, "This year, I was thinking Cracker Barrel might be nice." That said, I realize that my complaints are incredibly trivial. I have three healthy children and a relatively nice extended family, and I can afford whatever food we want for the day. We are lucky. Thanks for letting me unload without making me feel guilty for being negative. I promise I will be nice tomorrow:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted November 24, 2010 Author Share Posted November 24, 2010 that this is my first year without my father. I am probably focusing on the burden of family food expectations because I want to avoid thinking about missing him. He always cooked a fabulous turkey on the Weber Kettle. I am going to cook it tomorrow, and it will make everyone happy to eat it and think about him, but I almost feel like I am going to hurt his feelings. He was pretty sure that none of us could possibly cook a turkey on a Weber Kettle. If I fail and serve a disgusting under (or over) cooked turkey, he will probably be smiling in the great beyond. Everyone else will be sad, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleHouseHomeschool Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 Don't have turkey! We have lasagna. My husband is Italian and we have an old family recipe that is wonderful, but the cheese it requires is really expensive, so it's definitely a special occasion dish. I do the sauce the day before (Because it has no meat, takes 5 minutes to throw together and then simmers on the stove all day making me hungry). On Thanksgiving Day, I throw it together - takes about ten minutes. My kids make the two side dishes. My daughter and I made a yummy berry pie today. It was a recipe she found on PBS kids, I think. (She's 7). So we're all set. I decided a long time ago to get off the hamster wheel of the holidays. Now, it's my favorite time of year. I celebrate it as a season...not just a day. For several seasons, when my kids were really very young, we did pizza on Thanksgiving. And those Thanksgivings will always be remembered...they were beautiful. We had fun...no one was stressed...and the kids loved it. :001_smile: So I am all for being thankful on Thanksgiving...and skipping all the rest. : ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 that this is my first year without my father. I am probably focusing on the burden of family food expectations because I want to avoid thinking about missing him. He always cooked a fabulous turkey on the Weber Kettle. I am going to cook it tomorrow, and it will make everyone happy to eat it and think about him, but I almost feel like I am going to hurt his feelings. He was pretty sure that none of us could possibly cook a turkey on a Weber Kettle. If I fail and serve a disgusting under (or over) cooked turkey, he will probably be smiling in the great beyond. Everyone else will be sad, though. Oh sweetie!!!! This is the real problem. Of course you miss your daddy!!! That would make everything difficult. You're going to do fine. Could you order a Thanksgiving dinner? Our local Kroger has them - you just tell them how many people are going to be there and pick up the order. All you have to do is heat it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 (edited) People in all times and places have shared food together to celebrate good times, but it's not really about food-food. Sharing food means we have enough, that we are blessed. Edited November 26, 2010 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 I feel like Thanksgiving is just a massive burden placed on the mothers of the world. Mothers of Canada and the US. Come to Australia :D :grouphug: Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleHouseHomeschool Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 that this is my first year without my father. I am probably focusing on the burden of family food expectations because I want to avoid thinking about missing him. He always cooked a fabulous turkey on the Weber Kettle. I am going to cook it tomorrow, and it will make everyone happy to eat it and think about him, but I almost feel like I am going to hurt his feelings. He was pretty sure that none of us could possibly cook a turkey on a Weber Kettle. If I fail and serve a disgusting under (or over) cooked turkey, he will probably be smiling in the great beyond. Everyone else will be sad, though. I'm so sorry. I do understand, for this is one of the reasons I used to dread Thanksgiving. We've lost my husband's mother, his aunt, his grandmother, and his grandfather in October and November. It was just such a sad time for so long. It really took some radical decisions to begin to make it a happy time instead. Hang in there. There is definitely no need to feel guilty about anything. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 :grouphug: My philosophy is you should do what you want to do. I enjoy Thanksgiving, but I enjoy it when it's done my way. Trying to meet other people's expectations can be stressful. I'm sorry you're missing your dad :grouphug: While I am complaining, I would like to know what cosmic force it is that made my cooktop, dishwasher, washing machine and car all need to be repaired or replaced this week. I know...what is up with that? My microwave had to be repaired, and now my dishwasher is on the fritz. Talk about bad timing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 (edited) When I was a little girl, the church I attended always had formal, lovely flowers in two matching, traditional vases on the altar. Except on Thanksgiving, when they had fruit, veggies, and grain--Indian corn, persimmons (on long sticks to get them to the right level), and lots of wheat. The contrast was so striking that it impressed me a great deal. We would sing hymns about the harvest, and since this was a city church (the all concrete all the time childhood I had was VERY urban) I found it fascinating that anyone would do something as old-fashioned as celebrate harvest--so low tech, so sweet. Now that we have learned so much more about family farms and healthy food and climate change and traditional diets, I am even more happy to learned to love the environment, farms, food, and thankfulness for simple things that we tend to take for granted, at my little, conservative but in a timeless way, church. I met my DH the evening before Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving Eve is also when I got my voice back 13 months after a terrible car accident that damaged the cartilage in my chest. Thanksgiving Day is the first time my baby girl ever laughed. So I have such good memories of Thanksgiving that have nothing to do with the traditional feasting. May you have some like that as well as the downside! Edited November 28, 2010 by Carol in Cal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oakblossoms Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 Mothers of Canada and the US. Come to Australia :D :grouphug: Rosie Hey we are ready. Know of any jobs for a Salty Man needing to support a growing family? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oakblossoms Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 I'm so sorry about your Daddy. I got a second chance with my Step-father. (Let's just say the first was a real dud.) I realized the other day that he is getting up there age wise. It really bothered me. My Dad is the one who requests burritos on Thanksgiving now;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2a&z Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 I hate Thanksgiving too! (Well maybe hate is too strong of a word) We live 1000 miles away from my family, so it's been 10 years since I've celebrated with them. We always have Thanksgiving dinner with my dh's family. Don't get me wrong, they are great people, but I'm tired of spending the holidays with them. I want to spend the day with my parents. My parents usually spend the day alone and go out to eat. We never have the time or money to travel to see them over the holidays. My ideal Thanksgiving would be just my dh and my dc, a quiet dinner, movie, games and going nowhere or having to clean the house for company. I do have much to be thankful for, I just wish I could celebrate a no stress Thanksgiving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 Well, I will be the stick in the mud here. I love the holidays. Every. One. Of. Them. We don't live that far but don't seem to get together with our older kids and their families that much but on the holidays we do and yes, I do almost all the cooking, cleaning, clean up afterwards but I do love being able to get together with them and the grand kids. One of the things that we do is my middle son who is the only one that has children, brings his family in the morning in time for brunch. He cooks! Love it. By the time I have my oldest up in his chair and ready for the day we have breakfast served. We then have a middle to late afternoon holiday meal. This year we are using disposable plates and cups to help with clean up and we are going to enjoy each other and the day. You and your family needs to do what you want. Order pizza out if that is what will make it fun but enjoy the day for what it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 Oh - the first holiday without a loved one is so hard. :grouphug: I don't have the same reason for dreading the holiday, but I do. My kiddo has life-threatening allergies. Going into someone else's home, eating food from someone else's kitchen... my stress level just skyrockets. I can't tell you how scary it feels. There are so many unknowns. We take everything that the kiddo will eat, we cook an entire holiday meal for him ahead of time and carry it in - but even so, there are so many worries. We are in an environment with his allergens, and I am constantly telling him to wash his hands, don't touch his face, and watching everyone around him like a hawk. We *have* to go to my parents' house for Thanksgiving - it is the only real secular holiday for them, and thus the only big gathering of all of their kids. We are a mixed family of Christians, secular humanists and Orthodox Jews. So getting us all together can be tough. It means so much to my parents to see us all at once. It makes it worth facing the fears, just barely. But I would gladly stay home, and eat chili from the crockpot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 that this is my first year without my father. I am probably focusing on the burden of family food expectations because I want to avoid thinking about missing him. He always cooked a fabulous turkey on the Weber Kettle. I am going to cook it tomorrow, and it will make everyone happy to eat it and think about him, but I almost feel like I am going to hurt his feelings. He was pretty sure that none of us could possibly cook a turkey on a Weber Kettle. If I fail and serve a disgusting under (or over) cooked turkey, he will probably be smiling in the great beyond. Everyone else will be sad, though. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 that this is my first year without my father. I am probably focusing on the burden of family food expectations because I want to avoid thinking about missing him. He always cooked a fabulous turkey on the Weber Kettle. I am going to cook it tomorrow, and it will make everyone happy to eat it and think about him, but I almost feel like I am going to hurt his feelings. He was pretty sure that none of us could possibly cook a turkey on a Weber Kettle. If I fail and serve a disgusting under (or over) cooked turkey, he will probably be smiling in the great beyond. Everyone else will be sad, though. I'm sorry :grouphug::grouphug: Mothers of Canada and the US. Come to Australia :D :grouphug: Rosie Ha! We're saner than the US. Our Thanksgiving was in October. We get a full month and a half, a bit more, btwn big family gatherings/meals. I think I'd go insane two months in a row! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 There is nothing magical about a turkey. We have ham. We make sides we want to eat, not because they are traditional. I slap refuse to put a canned cranberry sauce thingee on a plate just because I grew up with that on the table. I'm not even sure anyone ate it! Ick! Here's our fare for tomorrow: Ham baked sweet potatoes corn on the cob green beans rolls brownies And we are playing board games for hours. Yay! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 that this is my first year without my father. I am probably focusing on the burden of family food expectations because I want to avoid thinking about missing him. He always cooked a fabulous turkey on the Weber Kettle. I am going to cook it tomorrow, and it will make everyone happy to eat it and think about him, but I almost feel like I am going to hurt his feelings. He was pretty sure that none of us could possibly cook a turkey on a Weber Kettle. If I fail and serve a disgusting under (or over) cooked turkey, he will probably be smiling in the great beyond. Everyone else will be sad, though. My mother died two weeks before Thanksgiving last year. It was so difficult for me, cooking and baking from the same recipes that my mother had used. I think we just went on with the holiday dinner for the kids. We sure didn't feel like Thanksgiving :cry: I must admit I made more wine than I normally would. This year I'm letting my teens make more of the food. It's like Mom is here with us, while ds is pricking the pie crust and dd is fretting over the cheesecake. Next year will be easier for you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 Hugs to you:grouphug: I rather feel that way about Christmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ciyates Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 After years of cooking for everyone the DH suggested we go out to dinner. I had reservations made before he could change his mind.:lol: I just spoke to my sister about Christmas (she is bringing our parents up for Christmas) and we are going to surprise everyone with a fab breakfast and then do appetizers all day. No stress and it is what we really want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyable Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 I've never liked Thanksgiving either. Too stressful. Growing up it was a small gathering but someone always drank too much and got nasty. Last year my grandmother was found dead by my Dad in her bed at the nursing home Thanksgiving morning. This year my parents are coming over and I dread the whole thing. It's my dd's 13th birthday, and she requested lasagna and some other non-traditional Thanksgiving foods (yay!) Which caused my dad to beg my mom to bring over a cooked turkey breast and have a "real" Thanksgiving. :glare: Ummm, my house, my cooking, MY WAY. Well, I am letting my mom bring chili and bread, which my Dad likes so I think that was their compromise. :) Anyway, yeah, I hate Thanksgiving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BakersDozen Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 My dh and I detest Thanksgiving, probably because we both grew up with control-freak perfectionist moms who flipped out if the stuffing was overdone or the turkey not in the oven on time. It was stressful and (IMO) the amount of food prepared/consumed incredibly wasteful. Last year we did our own thing for the first time: stuffing right out of the pot, mashed potatoes served the same way (no fancy shmancy dishes for us!), hot chocolate and pumpkin pie (served FIRST!). It was such fun! Oh, another thing we both hate is having to wait and feel almost sick from hunger because we had to "save our appetite" for the big meal. I made my mil so angry when I dared to feed my dc while at her house one year 2 hours before we were even scheduled to eat. :glare: Looking forward to tomorrow...no family, no turkey or ham, eat when we want/what we want, no stress. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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