Why do some families all share one email address?

[leighp]

Dh and I not only have separate, but we also have multiple ones each. No sharing of FB here either. Everyone gets their own email and own FB.

[Daisy]

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Different families have different comfort levels with email. I'm always struck by how an email sender assumes that others read and answer email the same way they do. If emailing your coop friend isn't effective, then use a different method.

 

Exactly. If my husband had a separate email account, you could guarantee that stuff would fall through the cracks. He would NEVER check the thing. If someone assumed they'd reach him by that means they would be in for quite the disappointment. He rarely remembers to check the one at work.

 

Having a joint email account insures that at least I'm noticing when he gets an email he needs to respond to.

 

And as far as personal private conversations, we rarely get stuff like that. We don't get involved much in drama.

[Miss Peregrine]

We have separate email addresses but I have a copy of his emails sent to my address. My home page is always open and he is pretty, um, not good at computer stuff so he rarely checks his. he can get to it easier on mine.

 

He always reads my emails. I don't care.

[dm379]

We have separate emails and dh does not have my password but I have his. I only have his password because he couldn't access it for a few weeks and was expecting something important so I checked it for him. As far as I know he's never bothered to change it but I haven't checked in about a year or so.

 

I get emails from friends all the time. It's our main form of communication since all my close friends live so far away. He does not need to know the private details of my best friend's teA life or my sister's affair or other such things. To me, it's like eavesdropping on our conversations. Now if he ever had any issues as to who I'm getting emails from I have zero problem letting him scan through the subject and sender lines and opening anything that might look suspicious.

[Tap]

We all used one email add until about a year ago when ds got his own. I only get 1-2 personal emails a month, same with dh and ds. I really only use it for shopping and email confirmations, notices from the kids schools, or family emails. It makes it easier for us to all have one address. We let people know that we don't care for forwarded emails and we specifically ask people to only use the address to send us a personal email. I am very, very protective over my email addy!

 

That being said, we do have a junk email address that we use for anytime we need to have an address to log into something but don't want communication from them. We never check it and just go in and clean it out every few months.

 

 

If one of us got a lot of emails each day, I guess it would make more sense to spread out but honestly I don't think we get 20 a week, even with Amazon, personal emails, school news and the like.

 

Ds16 now has his own. He set it up when he got his own computer. I have the password to his accounts and check them every few months to make sure there aren't any surprises. Never been an issue and again he only gets a few a week.

 

 

 

To me it is like everyone having personal mail boxes....why would that be necessary?

[Gwenhwyfar]

 

To me it is like everyone having personal mail boxes....why would that be necessary?

 

that's different though, because mail comes (generally) in sealed envelopes ~ it's very private. the individual who receives the mail has the option to share it after they view it. emails are different - heck with some email programs you can read half the email before you even open it. ;)

 

i posted before that dh and i have separate emails and that we prefer it that way - there are convos that i have with friends that i just do not want him to see, and i'm sure there are convos that *he* has that he'd prefer i didn't read. we like our privacy.

 

He does not need to know the private details of my best friend's teA life or my sister's affair or other such things.

 

perfect examples! i have friends who share very personal things with me, and i share the same with them.

 

(we don't open each other's "personal" mail either -- letters, birthday cards, etc. bills? yes. personal mail, no.)

[Crissy]

He does not need to know the private details of my best friend's teA life or my sister's affair or other such things.

 

Maybe this is the difference between those who mind a shared inbox and those who don't.

Truth is *I* don't need to know the private details of my best friend's sex life or my sister's affair. Thankfully my friends and family are aware of this and keep such things to themselves--both in person and in writing.

[swellmomma]

My dc share mine, it is to make monitoring easier, not to mention the fact that we do not have internet at home. It is WAY easier for me to monitor 1 email account from the library etc than 4 or 5 accounts. Especially when I only got 60 minutes max 3 days per week to use the net, I have too much to fit into that time frame to spend it all on checking various email accounts. As for spouse, when I was still with my husband again we shared an email account. It was for the whole family not for monitoring purposes, more just for ease of use.

[Audrey]

I am baffled why there are some families where everyone shares the same email address. If you have children you want to monitor, why not set it up that you get duplicate emails or just check their email account? Why would you want to share your spouse's email?

 

I guess that I am busy enough responding to my own emails that I have no need of reading my husband's science ones or his woodworking ones. I can always look at his and he can look at mine but neither of us do this except in very rare times like when someone is away from home and forgot to get some info from an email/

 

 

:confused: Why would it bother you if someone chooses to do that? Not everyone thinks that email is so important that they have to have their own account. Some people don't think email has to be so private, and it doesn't bother them if another family members reads it. Some people don't even bother to check their email weekly, let alone daily, and they are perfectly fine and happy that way.

[alpidarkomama]

Not only do we share an e-mail address, but we also share a mailing address. :lol:

 

If DH had his own e-mail he'd never check it. The last thing he wants to do when he comes home is get back on the computer! We do also do it for religious reasons, but to me it's equally for practical reasons.

[Brilliant]

I am baffled that this seems to be such a divisive issue. :001_huh:

[Melissa in Australia]

we share the same one. we don't get many emails. I don't see what the problem is, we share the same computers, we also share the same phone, same bathrooms etc. We are a family.

[choirfarm]

We don't either - you and I are very alike.

 

And for those that think snail mail is any different... at our house, whoever gets the mail (adults) tends to open it - unless it's an obvious bill, then it's my dept. If it's obviously hubby's work related, then I put it in a pile for him.

 

The only mail our boys ever opened were their birthday/Christmas cards and college acceptance letters - well, college mail in general (for my oldest who's a freshman and my middle son who's a junior).

 

Yep... That is exactly right. I open all the mail in my house. My surgeon hubby leaves at 6am and returns home no earlier than 7 most nights is gone on weekends. He asks me what was in the mail. I pay all the bills and bring important bits of mail to his attention. Now he does get to open his birthday cards!! But the his mail would never get opened!! Our tiny hospital used to have a big gala fundraiser and they would send the invitation to his office. We never RSVP or did so at the last minute. They then changed to sending it to the doctors' homes: the receptionist was so surprised to find RSVP's in a timely manner and was amazed how much better it got!!

 

Christine

[TravelingChris]

Since I am the OP, I will quickly say that I don't have any emails that I couldn't share with my dh. I don't email about tea nor do I get those emails except as it relates to a medical condition. I also completely understand about dh's not checking emails frequently because while my dh likes to keep up, he can't always. I think it might be better now since he has other electronic means. But I have a hard time understanding why you even want to have your older teens email be the same as yours. Mine has tons of colleges emailing her along with all her activities. Why would you want to have everyone's email? I wish I didn't have to deal with everyone's physical mail either.

[Peela]

We dont have separate emails because we both do have some privacy from each other. We don't read each others' emails although we could. It feels like a healthy boundary in our relationship. But for others? Sometimes it irks me to send an email to one girlfriend who shares her email with her husband- because if I want to send her a girly email, its not that its anything her husband couldnt read...but I am sending it to her, not her husband.

I dont relate to it...but the world takes all types.

[Gwenhwyfar]

:confused: Why would it bother you if someone chooses to do that?

 

...people seem to be reading the OP's post as "bothered" when what she actually said was "baffled".

 

i was very surprised to first time i met someone who just had one shared email account - i'd just never seen that before. when you see things that are "unusual" (in your own experience), it can be quite surprising/puzzling/etc. :)

[Gwenhwyfar]

we share the same one. we don't get many emails. I don't see what the problem is, we share the same computers, we also share the same phone, same bathrooms etc. We are a family.

 

we're a family too ~ we just happen to be a family with members who value their privacy more than some. nothing wrong with that either. ;)

 

i think it all comes down to personalities & relationships. if you "share everything" with your spouse/partner - then you might not feel the need for privacy as much as those of us who have a different sort of relationship with our spouses/partners. follow? neither relationship is necessarily better than the other - just different.

[Garga]

I don't like it when the family shares their email account.

 

To me, it's like calling a friend for a chat, and her entire family picks up another extension of the phone and listens in...without commenting. Just sitting there listening in.

 

It makes me feel stilted and awkward in my emails.

[creekland]

But I have a hard time understanding why you even want to have your older teens email be the same as yours. Mine has tons of colleges emailing her along with all her activities. Why would you want to have everyone's email? I wish I didn't have to deal with everyone's physical mail either.

 

Well, "I" didn't have a separate e-mail account when I was a teen and I got along just fine. :D (Sorry, couldn't resist! - and take that jokingly as it's meant).

 

Some of us just aren't "in" to technology as much as others of us (on this board) are. I can't fathom checking more than one account. It has no appeal to me whatsoever. We don't have separate cell phones either... We have two, but anyone can have them at any time. We don't use them as our primary phone - mainly for connecting with each other or for hubby making calls from the field when he's on a job. He doesn't want everyone to have "his" cell phone number either as when he's out on a job working, he wants to work - not be interrupted by the phone. He doesn't want the phone off just in case someone in the family needs him.

 

All that said, when college e-mails started arriving, my boys did get their own e-mail account, but even they mainly use it for trivial stuff - not as a main source of communication. When my oldest went to college he also got his own cell phone.

 

People are just "wired" differently. As long as we like what we have, there's no need to change. I am certainly not rushing out to sign up for more accounts just to please others - and I don't expect anyone else to delete accounts to agree with our views. :tongue_smilie:

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I don't like it when the family shares their email account.

 

To me, it's like calling a friend for a chat, and her entire family picks up another extension of the phone and listens in...without commenting. Just sitting there listening in.

 

It makes me feel stilted and awkward in my emails.

 

:iagree:This is it. I've been trying to convey my sense of......unease with this practice and Garga hit the nail right on the head! It's not because I think they are weird, it's not because I think we do it better, it is because it makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable that something I sent to ONE PERSON may be read by anybody in the house.

 

If I knew it was that type of relationship/home I wouldn't send much in the way of email, and it would only be of the perfunctory "the meeting is at 5pm" type, nothing personal. It would make our relationship feel stilted and less warm.

 

I use email a lot because, for me, it is a better way of communicating. It is easier for me to organize my thoughts this way. Phone calls are NOT the way for me, but it's great that it works for others.

[Mary in VA]

:iagree:I use email a lot because, for me, it is a better way of communicating. It is easier for me to organize my thoughts this way. Phone calls are NOT the way for me, but it's great that it works for others.

 

This is the total opposite from me/my family. I won't send very personal info in an email. I won't send anything that I wouldn't mind having read in a public place. That's because we have NO control over an email after we press send. Call me paranoid, but it only takes a small mistake before an email goes in the wrong direction and is forwarded somewhere you don't want it to go, or all over the world. If I have something personal to say to someone I will call them or use snail mail. That doesn't get forwarded.

 

Our family only has one email account. My 15 yo dd communicates with her friends by text or Facebook. My 20 yo dd has her own email account at her college. My husband checks the email occassionally, but I keep track of the family calendar, mail and bills, so I'm the one dealing with the most of the email. If an email comes to him personaly I won't read it, although he doesn't care if I do, and vice-a-versa. None of my close friends discuss private info via email. If they wanted to they would call me.

 

Every family has a different dynamic and what works for one wouldn't work for another. Makes the world more interesting. :001_smile:

 

Mary

[Gooblink]

Not only do we share an e-mail address, but we also share a mailing address. :lol:

 

 

 

:D

 

I am baffled that this seems to be such a divisive issue. :001_huh:

 

:iagree:

 

But, since I'm here...

 

Our family not only has multiple separate email accounts, but multiple URLs and our own Exchange servers.

 

Shouldn't everybody?

 

:)

[DarlaS]

Having my own e-mail for me is not about keeping personal things personal. My e-mail is not interesting like that. ;) So no, the difference is not what one is likely to discuss in the e-mail at ALL. I resent the implication that some of us have something to hide. My conversations are not all that interesting, but they are MY conversations.

 

For me, it's more about something being just mine. Over the course of my almost 18 years of marriage and almost 17 years of motherhood, very little in my world remains my personal possession. I share myself physically, mentally and spiritually with these people 24/7. (They've even been know to get into my purse! Is nothing sacred? :tongue_smilie:)

[Murphy101]

Hmmm.

 

Well I guess I get that.

 

But as some pp noted, even if a family has separate accounts, it really doesn't necessarily make a difference.

 

Just last night I was reading a message sent to me and handed the iPad to dh and told him to answer it.

 

And dh has forwarded emails to me intended for him without answering or aski first.

 

I've done the same.

 

Then there is the whole leaving the computer signed in and one reading emails of the other.

 

Do people think it weird when emails or board topics are discussed in the home too?

 

For example, also last night, I was telling dh about this thread and wondering if it was going to be a shoes off or cart issue to which dh said:blink:

 

Maybe another topic altogether, but I wonder if the difference in how one communicates in their marriage?

 

For example, I truly do thick I tell my dh just about everything. He knows if a sister is having and affair and the details.

 

Oh and I used to have my own amazon cart, but I stopped using it and know just log into his. So we he asks what books I want, there it is. And I use his pay pal account too. I don't have one and I don't want one. Last thing my brain needs is yet another email and password to keep track off.

[lionfamily1999]

We share one account. It's easier. Dh is not a big computer user, but his friends are and we like having me play secretary at night when the kids are in bed............................... teehee :p

 

We also share a facebook account, we're just wierd like that.

 

I don't like it when the family shares their email account.

 

To me, it's like calling a friend for a chat, and her entire family picks up another extension of the phone and listens in...without commenting. Just sitting there listening in.

 

It makes me feel stilted and awkward in my emails.

 

:lol: But that happens with land lines. You assume that only the "right" person is on the phone, but it's hard to tell........ except when the littles pick up the phone and start breathing heavy.

[lionfamily1999]

Hmmm.

 

Well I guess I get that.

 

But as some pp noted, even if a family has separate accounts, it really doesn't necessarily make a difference.

 

Just last night I was reading a message sent to me and handed the iPad to dh and told him to answer it.

 

And dh has forwarded emails to me intended for him without answering or aski first.

 

I've done the same.

 

Then there is the whole leaving the computer signed in and one reading emails of the other.

 

Do people think it weird when emails or board topics are discussed in the home too?

 

For example, also last night, I was telling dh about this thread and wondering if it was going to be a shoes off or cart issue to which dh said:blink:

 

Maybe another topic altogether, but I wonder if the difference in how one communicates in their marriage?

 

For example, I truly do thick I tell my dh just about everything. He knows if a sister is having and affair and the details.

 

Oh and I used to have my own amazon cart, but I stopped using it and know just log into his. So we he asks what books I want, there it is. And I use his pay pal account too. I don't have one and I don't want one. Last thing my brain needs is yet another email and password to keep track off.

Us too, for all of the above. If we're an odd couple, then I guess we're in good company ;)