s/o - Birth control "failure"

[Joanne]

In reading one of the other threads, I was astounded at the percentage represented by "birth control failure".

 

The math doesn't line up.

 

In my personal experience and observation, a significant time when birth control "fails", it is user-related. I imagine the percentage of time this happens is increased with teens when we can expect dilligence and maturity and information to be lower. But adults who are of an age to have minor children and posting on this board? I don't think that thread comes close to representing how often birth control failure, not user failure, happens. These are women who had information about birth control and access to it. I was working in a pharmacy in the 1980's in a small, conservative town and I remember when condoms were put out in the store instead of behind the counter. I remember learning in High School (early 80's) that antibiotics can interfere with the pill.

 

I also know that during less, um, concientious sexual encounters *I* was lax. I never followed the "missed pill" protocol of back up methods.

 

 

Methods of birth control, used properly, are effective in numbers far exceeding what seems to be the case in that thread.

[justamouse]

*shrugs* I got pregnant with an IUD. I also got pregnant using a diaphragm and mixing antibiotics with the pill (which, I honestly didn't know about). So far *knocks on wood* condoms are 100%. *g* But I hate them and am getting my tubes tied. Believe me, if I could wrap my fertility up and give it away with a big bow, I would.

[AlmiraGulch]

I'm another who got pregnant while on the pill. Never missed a day, never even took it at a different time of day, and had not been on antibiotics.

 

At this point I think my uterus has outlived its usefulness and I would happily have it removed if it weren't an elective procedure that costs thousands of dollars that I don't have.

 

I DO agree with Joanne, though, that most failures are the result of user error. I know that seems hypocritical since I'm stating that was not the case for me. I also know that I've been lucky, and there have been many times that I could have gotten pregnant and just (thankfully) did not.

 

I believe there is such a stigma associated with "oops" pregnancies that women often feel obligated to state that they were correctly using some method or other of BC, even when they weren't, to avoid the "shame." Which is also why I think it's completely unrealistic of us to expect our teenage children to properly use birth control. In more cases than not, they simply won't.

[Joanne]

I believe there is such a stigma associated with "oops" pregnancies that women often feel obligated to state that they were correctly using some method or other of BC, even when they weren't, to avoid the "shame." Which is also why I think it's completely unrealistic of us to expect our teenage children to properly use birth control. In more cases than not, they simply won't.

 

I agree with all your points in this paragraph.

 

Related to your earlier points, I've often wondered why God designed a decade in between when it's best to have a baby (before 43) and menopause. What is up with that? I expect Him to be better at math. :lol:

[vonfirmath]

I agree with all your points in this paragraph.

 

Related to your earlier points, I've often wondered why God designed a decade in between when it's best to have a baby (before 43) and menopause. What is up with that? I expect Him to be better at math. :lol:

 

Perhaps our bodies have gotten out of sync with what is best practice in this fallen world?

 

People used to live a LOT longer and apparently had kids longer (we don't get the ages of women so much, except for Sarah and she was definitely a "too old to have babies woman" when she had hers.) But things have just gone downhill with time. Our world is falling apart.

[Carrie12345]

*shrugs* I got pregnant with an IUD. I also got pregnant using a diaphragm and mixing antibiotics with the pill (which, I honestly didn't know about). So far *knocks on wood* condoms are 100%. *g* But I hate them and am getting my tubes tied. Believe me, if I could wrap my fertility up and give it away with a big bow, I would.

 

I also got pregnant with an IUD, as well as with condoms. I can't rule out "user error" on the latter, since I don't recall double checking expiration dates or anything like that, but I can rule it out with the former!

 

My other non-intended (or whatever term one wants to use for the opposite of "let's procreate this month") involved playing the odds, except for one where we truly threw all caution to the wind. We won, just not in the way we anticipated. ;)

 

I've had 2 "Let's go procreate" conceptions, and they took a total of 3 months, one of those being a rather, um... lazy month.

 

All this has happened over the course of more than 12 years (age 20-33). My fertility doesn't show any signs of slowing down. Next step is vasectomy, but I still have my doubts!

[justamouse]

I agree with all your points in this paragraph.

 

Related to your earlier points, I've often wondered why God designed a decade in between when it's best to have a baby (before 43) and menopause. What is up with that? I expect Him to be better at math. :lol:

 

I am leaning toward thinking that previous generations were able to be healthfully fertile for longer. Perhaps the genetics of the eggs and sperm were less inclined to deteriorate? I dunno. I see it as the fault of man, though, not God. Meaning if there's a gap, it's because of our imperfect health, not in the way God planned it.

[justamouse]

I also got pregnant with an IUD, as well as with condoms. I can't rule out "user error" on the latter, since I don't recall double checking expiration dates or anything like that, but I can rule it out with the former!

 

My other non-intended (or whatever term one wants to use for the opposite of "let's procreate this month") involved playing the odds, except for one where we truly threw all caution to the wind. We won, just not in the way we anticipated. ;)

 

I've had 2 "Let's go procreate" conceptions, and they took a total of 3 months, one of those being a rather, um... lazy month.

 

All this has happened over the course of more than 12 years (age 20-33). My fertility doesn't show any signs of slowing down. Next step is vasectomy, but I still have my doubts!

 

I have a dear friend who works in a NYC NICU and tells me vasectomies are not infallible. Including in her own marriage. She sees a high percentage of men whose vas deferens (that the tubey thing?) grew back after 10 years. She's found that's that's the mark-10 years. Totally unscientific, but she has many, many stories of men demanding DNA testing on their own babies. I'll get mine done thankyouverymuch. *g* I don't want ANY cabooses at this point.

[krisperry]

Baby number six was a copper IUD baby. Nothing was wrong with the IUD - it was in the perfect position when they removed it. I was 5 1/2 weeks pregnant at the time of removal.

[Joker]

I have a dear friend who works in a NYC NICU and tells me vasectomies are not infallible. Including in her own marriage. She sees a high percentage of men whose vas deferens (that the tubey thing?) grew back after 10 years. She's found that's that's the mark-10 years. Totally unscientific, but she has many, many stories of men demanding DNA testing on their own babies. I'll get mine done thankyouverymuch. *g* I don't want ANY cabooses at this point.

 

We chose a vasectomy because I have known three women (two in my family) that have had babies after having their tubes tied. I don't think either procedure is 100%.

[Mejane]

Interesting, yes. I'm not aware of any failures in my circle of friends and family. I know of one pg caused by misuse. Most of the people I know have two children who were planned. (Yes, we talk about such things.)

[Carrie12345]

I have a dear friend who works in a NYC NICU and tells me vasectomies are not infallible. Including in her own marriage. She sees a high percentage of men whose vas deferens (that the tubey thing?) grew back after 10 years. She's found that's that's the mark-10 years. Totally unscientific, but she has many, many stories of men demanding DNA testing on their own babies. I'll get mine done thankyouverymuch. *g* I don't want ANY cabooses at this point.

 

I know 2 people who have had V-babies, so I definitely do have my concerns! For the record, one never went back for the last sperm count. The other had been cleared.

 

After having an emergency laparotomy, I have an irrational fear of getting any more "work done" in there. I may consider it farther down the road, as an extra precaution. This current pregnancy has proven that my remaining tube doesn't mind picking up the slack! :tongue_smilie:

[kwickimom]

I got pregnant with a once a month shot that they ended up pulling off the market. It was called Lunelle. At my 6 week check up after having my baby my doctor brought me in an article that stated it wasn't as effective as it was thught to be :001_smile:

[Mejane]

I got pregnant with a once a month shot that they ended up pulling off the market. It was called Lunelle. At my 6 week check up after having my baby my doctor brought me in an article that stated it wasn't as effective as it was thught to be :001_smile:

 

That's why I give new meds (especially vacs) at least a few years before using them. Too many failures and unforseen side effects.

[Mimm]

Maybe people aren't posting "I never got pregnant while on any birth control method." It's less interesting. :)

 

But let me say, I've never gotten pregnant while on any birth control method. *knocks on wood* Let's keep it that way. ;)

[ciyates]

My first pregnancy happened when I was on the pill and DH was using a condom. We really weren't ready for it. I didn't think I could get pregnant and figured my missed periods were due to stress. I had a miscarriage 4 months in.

 

DS was conceived while I was on Norplant.

 

My third pregnancy happened while I was on the pill again. I was not a teen. My DS and I used the contraceptives exactly as we are suppose to. I have spoken too several OB/GYNs who have stated that the effectiveness numbers for BC pill are misrepresented. It was originally only to be prescribed to women who have already given birth.

[texasmama]

Well, my personal advice and experience is to not use spermicide if you don't want another baby.:tongue_smilie:

 

After three babies in five years, my dh had the big V. There are different ways to do a V, for the record. He had one in which a section of the vas was cut out (and saved in a tube for a few years:001_huh:), the ends of the tubes cauterized (burned) and tiny clips put on all four ends of the tubes. This type is like using three forms of bc simultaneously. We also went back for the follow up test. If it had failed thusfar, I would be pg...but it has been three years since my fertililty returned and no baby. I am 43 so I will hopefully be in menopause by the magical 10 year mark when the V's fail.:tongue_smilie:

Edited July 16, 2010 by texasmama

[musicmommy]

Talk about crazy. We have 3 birth control babies. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be "trying" to get pregnant and see those wonderful lines on the pregnancy test rather than to feel the way we felt. (We love our boys and wouldn't change it for anything now, but timing wasn't always the best)

 

#1 child - I was a lazy user, plain and simple. Honestly didn't even notice when I did or didn't take it

 

#2 child - Mom and had been diagnosed with breast cancer as a result of taking hormones so my doctor decided to switch me to a progesterone only pill. Not quite as effective for someone who is overweight. Oh and I missed taking it one day until late in the afternoon. Yep, that was it

 

#3 child - Back on the regular pill, taking it regularly, never missed it, never took it late. However, apparently if you go through something extremely stressful like being there when both grandmothers passed away 3 days a part from each other the week before Christmas which also happens to be the same week in which 3 years earlier fil had passed away tripled with finding out that the employer that dh and I both worked for doing inner city ministry was closing and we were going to be out of work, a person's hormones can become so messed up that the dosage in the pill isn't strong enough to do its thing. (I'm thinking that would be a major run on sentence?)

 

So, while I was technically on the birth control pill with each child, there's was always something about the circumstances.

 

By the way, since the third, we've given up on paying that much each month. It's been 6 years of no bc and we haven't gotten pregnant again. Hm...

[Nakia]

I have been having sex for almost two decades and have never had an unplanned pregnancy. We have used pills, diaphragm, condoms, and then finally Patrick had a vasectomy. In the six and half years we didn't use protection, I had four pregnancies, one of which was a miscarriage, but three healthy babies. To be honest, I do not know anyone who has had a birth control failure that was actually using it right. I believe it happens, though, because so many here have said it happened to them.

 

We are at 5 years post-vasectomy, and I am not telling my husband it might grow back in 5 more years. He would be making an appt tomorrow for another one, lol.

Edited July 16, 2010 by Nakia

[sassenach]

In reading one of the other threads, I was astounded at the percentage represented by "birth control failure".

 

The math doesn't line up.

 

In my personal experience and observation, a significant time when birth control "fails", it is user-related. I imagine the percentage of time this happens is increased with teens when we can expect dilligence and maturity and information to be lower. But adults who are of an age to have minor children and posting on this board? I don't think that thread comes close to representing how often birth control failure, not user failure, happens. These are women who had information about birth control and access to it. I was working in a pharmacy in the 1980's in a small, conservative town and I remember when condoms were put out in the store instead of behind the counter. I remember learning in High School (early 80's) that antibiotics can interfere with the pill.

 

I also know that during less, um, concientious sexual encounters *I* was lax. I never followed the "missed pill" protocol of back up methods.

 

 

Methods of birth control, used properly, are effective in numbers far exceeding what seems to be the case in that thread.

 

All 3 of my oops babies were from human error while on bc. The first was because I was a teen and inconsistent with usage. I mean the c@nd@m would *eventually* go on, but what's the rush? The second baby came along in the transition between Depo and the pill. I didn't get the timing right apparently. The 3rd was another transition between bfeeding on the mini pill and weening on the regular pill. I never even got my period back between those 2. Ended up giving my 3 month supply of pills to a friend, lol.

 

The point is that you cannot subtract the human from bc usage. Bc may have a near perfect success rate, but people do not. But I wouldn't call any of my pregnancies bc failure.

[Lovedtodeath]

Maybe people aren't posting "I never got pregnant while on any birth control method." It's less interesting. :)

 

But let me say, I've never gotten pregnant while on any birth control method. *knocks on wood* Let's keep it that way. ;)

:iagree:

[Heather in OK]

Only abstinence is 100%. :tongue_smilie:

 

NO birth control method, chemical or physical (i.e. vasectomy) is 100%. Yes, sometimes it can be from user error but not always, as many have already noted here.

[TravelingChris]

We have 2 and a half decades of marriage. No bc failures here. After a short try with bc pills from which I had a very bad side effect, we tried diaphragm very briefly, and then condoms until my dh had a vasectomy two years ago. He was 44 then and any failure ten years from then should probably be mute. Currently I am on a medication which it is imperative that I don't get pregnant and I feel confident I won't. He did go in for both of his re-checks and all was good. That is enough for my doctors.

[muffinmom]

Well, my personal advice and experience is to not use spermicide if you want another baby.:tongue_smilie:

 

After three babies in five years, my dh had the big V. There are different ways to do a V, for the record. He had one in which a section of the vas was cut out (and saved in a tube for a few years:001_huh:), the ends of the tubes cauterized (burned) and tiny clips put on all four ends of the tubes. This type is like using three forms of bc simultaneously. We also went back for the follow up test. If it had failed thusfar, I would be pg...but it has been three years since my fertililty returned and no baby. I am 43 so I will hopefully be in menopause by the magical 10 year mark when the V's fail.:tongue_smilie:

 

I got pregnant using spermicide. I'm the kind that reads every word of the directions and follows to a T. I had used spermicide for years in the same way with no problems. But that time, it wasn't enough to stop conception. Unfortunately, it resulted in miscarriage. Now we use double protection.

[AlmiraGulch]

I agree with all your points in this paragraph.

 

Related to your earlier points, I've often wondered why God designed a decade in between when it's best to have a baby (before 43) and menopause. What is up with that? I expect Him to be better at math. :lol:

 

What IS up with that? I'm not a fan of this little "joke" of nature. :D

[jewellsmommy]

*shrugs* I got pregnant with an IUD. I also got pregnant using a diaphragm and mixing antibiotics with the pill (which, I honestly didn't know about). So far *knocks on wood* condoms are 100%. *g* But I hate them and am getting my tubes tied. Believe me, if I could wrap my fertility up and give it away with a big bow, I would.

 

 

Oh me! I'll take it! :lol: I find it amazing that people who are trying their best to avoid pregnancy manage to get pregnant. I look at it like a super power or something!

 

It is all in perspective, I realize. Please don't think I'm making fun or anything. My mother got pregnant on birth control but later lost the baby. She also managed to get pregnant many years later when she was told she would not due to scarring. My friend had 2 surprise babies on bc pills, but she admits to having missed a pill once or twice.

 

I am awestruck every time I hear stories like this. When in school they made it sound like just looking at a boy would get you pregnant (apparently true for some of you). :lol: So, the first yr of our marriage I went on bc pills thinking how easily pregnancy happens. Now I just feel like an idiot for having wasted that money! In 12 yrs of NON bc (even trying) = no pregnancies :001_huh:.

 

I totally bow to you super power mamas and will be collecting all unwanted fertility at the end of the thread! :D

 

 

 

ETA: I hope now ones takes me wrong here. This is all said lite-hearted, kwim?

Edited July 16, 2010 by jewellsmommy

[KS_]

I got pregnant using spermicide. I'm the kind that reads every word of the directions and follows to a T. I had used spermicide for years in the same way with no problems. But that time, it wasn't enough to stop conception. Unfortunately, it resulted in miscarriage. Now we use double protection.

 

I was told my a woman who worked at the health clinic to use double the amount on the directions for extra safety. When I was using spermicide, that's what I followed and did not have any failures with it.

[KristenS]

We had three pregnancies. To the best of my knowledge, only the final one might have been user error. Not that we were against having kids, just at first we wanted to wait (got pg not too long after the wedding, and I was horribly ill at the time), and then with my PPD we really didn't want to go there again (though we are delighted with the two healthy babies we have, and saddened by the loss in the middle).

 

My sister was told that due to her severe endo, she'd never have kids. (The doc was later proved to be an idiot.) Anyway, I suspect user error on her first, at least, but they have three kids and finally resorted to more permanent measures.

 

Who knows. Although ... the ten year thing is a bit scary ... because I doubt very much I'll be in menopause by the time that rolls around ... and I don't have anyone to compare with because the other women in my family have had hysterectomies.

[Joanne]

I was told my a woman who worked at the health clinic to use double the amount on the directions for extra safety. When I was using spermicide, that's what I followed and did not have any failures with it.

__________________

 

I've known since a teen that spermacide "alone" is not reliable. In conjunction with a condom or with a diaphragm, the effectiveness is high.

 

But alone?

[SproutMamaK]

I got pregnant on the mini-pill (progesterone only), which, as someone else said, isnt' as effective the the regular pill, especially for overweight women. However, I never missed a day and took it at the exact same time daily. Got pregnant with twins :001_huh: (which were later stillborn, unrelated to the pill).

 

No failures with the regular pill, though.

[Impish]

I've had two surprise gifts.

 

First time, I was on the pill, using condoms with spermicide, AND watching the calendar. I conceived on the 20-something day of my cycle when the condom broke.

 

Second time, I was on the progesterone only pill, due to nursing. And I was careful, because I didn't want 2 children close together.

[Mom-ninja.]

Perhaps our bodies have gotten out of sync with what is best practice in this fallen world?

 

People used to live a LOT longer and apparently had kids longer (we don't get the ages of women so much, except for Sarah and she was definitely a "too old to have babies woman" when she had hers.) But things have just gone downhill with time. Our world is falling apart.

 

Huh? In the past if one reached the age of 50 that was old.

 

 

 

Only abstinence is 100%. :tongue_smilie:

 

 

I disagree. A woman having her uterus and/or ovaries would be 100% ;)

 

However, that is not considered BC. But you would know for absolute certain that you would never be pg again.

 

 

 

Oh, and I'll be one who says I never became pg when I didn't want to. I actually planned very hard to conceive. My body is not the most fertile or predictable.

[spradlin02]

I for one, have never gotten pregnant using birth control.

[Mejane]

NO birth control method, chemical or physical (i.e. vasectomy) is 100%. Yes, sometimes it can be from user error but not always, as many have already noted here.

 

I think this thread proves that bc IS mostly effective if used correctly. The argument people were making in the other thread - that bc fails a lot *anyway*, so why bother? - is clearly wrong-headed in light of many peoples' admissions that they used it incorrectly, inconsistently, or using faulty info.

[Mejane]

I for one, have never gotten pregnant using birth control.

 

 

If ONLY, dude. ;)

[spradlin02]

I think this thread proves that bc IS mostly effective if used correctly. The argument people were making in the other thread - that bc fails a lot *anyway*, so why bother? - is clearly wrong-headed in light of many peoples' admissions that they used it incorrectly, inconsistently, or using faulty info.

 

I think that pretty much sums it up.

[Lovedtodeath]

Perhaps our bodies have gotten out of sync with what is best practice in this fallen world?

 

People used to live a LOT longer and apparently had kids longer (we don't get the ages of women so much, except for Sarah and she was definitely a "too old to have babies woman" when she had hers.) But things have just gone downhill with time. Our world is falling apart.

Thank you! I hate it when I see that comment.

 

I am leaning toward thinking that previous generations were able to be healthfully fertile for longer. Perhaps the genetics of the eggs and sperm were less inclined to deteriorate? I dunno. I see it as the fault of man, though, not God. Meaning if there's a gap, it's because of our imperfect health, not in the way God planned it.

Thank you both.

[mommaduck]

I had two birth control babies in the past 8mos...miscarried both of them :( The first one I attribute to "user error". Skipped the VCF once, was NOT supposed to be fertile (TCOYF method...which I've had success with both TTC and TTA in the past), and only had TEA maybe twice that month...yeah, well, one of those times OOPS! The second one I know for a fact was NOT user failure.

 

I've wondered whether the miscarriages were due to progesterone issues or if it's possible that the VCF damaged the sperm enough that I was still able to get pg, but it caused improper development.

 

I really want to go back to a diaphragm but am weighing the options of getting cut, tied, and fried.

Edited July 16, 2010 by mommaduck

[Mrs Mungo]

I got pregnant on Depo-Provera, no user failure possible. My mom got pregnant with an IUD, twice (her third and forth). I was married, she was married, no need for shame.

 

Eta: I have not gotten pregnant by accident since then and my eldest is 14. That is a lot of years of it working just fine.

Edited July 16, 2010 by Mrs Mungo

[Mejane]

I got pregnant on Depo-Provera, no user failure possible. My mom got pregnant with an IUD, twice (her third and forth). I was married, she was married, no need for shame.

 

I would say you were two of the true bc "failures" then. No foul on your part; the methods simply weren't effective for you.

[Mom-ninja.]

I for one, have never gotten pregnant using birth control.

 

 

Ha! Man, I'd love to see my dh try to give birth.

[HRAAB]

I only know of two birth control failures and both were failed vasectomies. Not me but close friends. I never had a failure, either using the pill, depo shot or NFP. All of our children were planned although some people find that hard to believe since we have five. :confused: One must have been an 'oops' right because who in their right mind would have five children, especially a pregnancy at 40. I always kept in mind that no method is 100%, and that I had to be diligent.

[Mrs Mungo]

I would say you were two of the true bc "failures" then. No foul on your part; the methods simply weren't effective for you.

 

We're a fertile lot, that is for sure. Definitely something I will have to discuss with my daughters.

 

We know several people whose vasectomies have failed. However, none of them had gone for yearly checks like you are supposed to.

[VBoulden]

I'll repeat the words of my beloved mentor growing up, "If you have sex, you can get pregnant." ;) That's obvious, but oh so important to remember (and to teach our young men and women). My husband and I use a form of birth control, but I am always "prepared" to be pregnant deep down in my heart since, after all, I am having sex. ;)

[Nakia]

We're a fertile lot, that is for sure. Definitely something I will have to discuss with my daughters.

 

We know several people whose vasectomies have failed. However, none of them had gone for yearly checks like you are supposed to.

 

Whoa, stop the presses. Yearly checks? That was never mentioned to my dh after his vasectomy five years ago. He went exactly once and was all clear.

[Dawn in OH]

Baby number six was a copper IUD baby. Nothing was wrong with the IUD - it was in the perfect position when they removed it. I was 5 1/2 weeks pregnant at the time of removal.

 

Oh I so did not want to hear that! I just got a copper IUD in June.

 

Baby #2 was a mini-pill failure. I took it everyday, at the same time. Apparently my husband and I are both just too fertile for the mini-pill.

We love her to bits, and were planning on having another child, just not 16 months after the first.

[TravelingChris]

I haven't heard anything about yearly checks. My dh had a vasectomy about 2 years ago and went twice, one month apart. He had the all clear both times and that was considered proof by his urologist. Now I am going to be looking this up on the internet. I really can't get pregnant. THe medication I take causes severe birth defects.

[ereks mom]

I've known since a teen that spermacide "alone" is not reliable. In conjunction with a condom or with a diaphragm, the effectiveness is high.

 

But alone?

 

I tdid take bc pills for a few months (less than 6 months) when we first married in 1980, then switched to spermicide. We have used spermicide only (and very carefully) for 30 years, and have had only two pregnancies, both planned. I know it doesn't work this way for everybody, but whether that's due to differences in fertility, product quality, or user error, I have not a clue.

[mommaduck]

I've known since a teen that spermacide "alone" is not reliable. In conjunction with a condom or with a diaphragm, the effectiveness is high.

 

But alone?

The package listed statistics (and according to the ob I had with 4 of my children) that VCF is like 1% +- off of using it in conjunction with condoms or a diaphragm. It worked fine between two of our children.

 

BTW, though I don't use the BCPs (did early in marriage), we were never told, by dr or by teachers in highschool that antibiotics didn't mix with them. I found out several years ago from a friend that got pregnant while on the pill and taking antibiotics...she hadn't known or been told either.

[mommaduck]

I tdid take bc pills for a few months (less than 6 months) when we first married in 1980, then switched to spermicide. We have used spermicide only (and very carefully) for 30 years, and have had only two pregnancies, both planned. I know it doesn't work this way for everybody, but whether that's due to differences in fertility, product quality, or user error, I have not a clue.

I think these two play as large a role as user error :001_smile: