Are there still places where the term "colored" is used/accepted?

[Mabelen]

What an interesting thread. I have to say in the States I would say absolutely inappropriate. However, we live in Europe and it's very different over here. I hear the term colored often and no one seems to think anything of it and black people are certainly not called African-American for obvious reasons. In fact the black people I know (who are European), think it's silly for African-Americans to want to be called this. One of my friends (who is black) thinks it's degrading. She said it waters down their American heritage. I'm not sure I believe that, but being Caucasian, I don't think it's my right to argue.

 

This has been our experience too. When we lived in the UK that was the correct term to refer to someone who was not white nor black. I have in fact many times used the term colored (well, it would actually be "coloured") to describe my South Asian husband!

[ereks mom]

People who didn't say "colored" said "Negro", which was usually pronounced in a way that sounded derogatory. I was probably a teenager (mid-1970s) before I heard black people referred to as "black". There are plenty of people (mostly elderly) in my area who still say "colored". As another poster said was the case with her elderly relative, they consider themselves to be politically correct.

Edited July 13, 2010 by ereks mom

[ereks mom]

But what does the C in NAACP stand for? Isn't that Colored?

 

Yes.

[Retired]

I grew up in the south and live here again now. The only people I hear use that term are age 75+.

 

:iagree:

[RoughCollie]

I have no idea what's right or wrong to say other then the obvious N word.

 

My children never heard the N-word until we moved here. They are continually shocked by how casually and frequently it is used by teens and adults -- yes, even by the bus driver.

 

It may have something to do with the lack of nonwhite people here, in combination with a cultural environment that is as unlike Boston's as it could possibly be. My kids go to a high school which has 2,000 students. In my kids' school building, there are 1,000 students. My kids have seen 4 Black students, 1 Asian student, and 0 other nonwhite students. My husband has seen one Black person here, who happens to be his physician. I have seen 0 nonwhite people.

 

Sometimes living here is like being dropped into a different dimension. Yesterday, I had a discussion with our landlord, a highly educated professional who was raised here and has since lived mostly in Europe or L.A. He started to explain the Jewish religion to me, and I had to remind him that I am not from here -- I've actually met a whole lot of Jewish people in my time and they live in places other than L.A.!

 

In Boston, my boys had 4 best friends since early childhood: one was Black, one was Hispanic, one was Chinese, and one was Jewish. Of course, this was not planned -- but it could never happen here in the Town of No Diversity, which is the largest town within an hours' drive of our home.

Edited July 13, 2010 by RoughCollie

[KidsHappen]

People who didn't say "colored" said "Negro", which was usually pronounced in a way that sounded derogatory. I was probably a teenager (mid-1970s) before I heard black people referred to as "black". There are plenty of people (mostly elderly) in my area who still say "colored". As another poster said was the case with her elderly relative, they consider themselves to be politically correct.

 

:iagree: I was raised in the south and I can still remember when Negro was a common term. Then around the mid 70's the proper term was black which eventually morphed into colored. Now days it is considered politically correct to say African Americans even if they are from Haiti. My 17 year old decided at a very early age to use the term swarthy so that's the term all of the children use. Of course, they frequently have to explain to people that it means a dark skinned person.

[Michelle in OK]

I have not had a chance to read all the replies, but I think you would find it more common among the elderly in the deep south. They grew up reading signs that stated "white" and "colored" (or worse). I don't believe that they mean it to be disrespectful so much is that is the way they grew up. And, when they were growing up this was most likely one of the more respectful terms used in the deep south. My family is from Birmingham, AL, and I grew up in southern states, and I have heard that term used often. Those people were normally elderly as it's not generally a term used by today's youth (again that term is much worse). I have learned never to try and correct an 80 yr. old man's manner of speech, the few times I tried never ended well for me!

 

Also, you would find it common among elderly WWII veterans to use derogatory terms to describe Germans or Japanese people especially if they fought in either of these countries. It seems to be ingrained after years of having this type of mindset.

[angela in ohio]

The ARC was originally Association for Retarded Children, then became more encompassing with Association for Retarded Children and now it is "just" the ARC, standing for "nothing."

 

Dh is a board member for the local ARC. They have a new acronym, though I'm not sure it's national. It is something about resources or community... soemthing I can't remember, but it uses ARC. :001_smile:

 

The MR/DD title was recently changed, too.

 

It is honestly hard to keep up with the changes in terms for special education. Sometimes they make great sense (losing the R-word, for example) but sometimes they are odd. The list of acronyms is hard to keep up with, and you have to remember which is the newer term.

 

About the original question... we meet a lot of African-American women in nursing homes (I'm sorry... assisted living facilites :D) we visit in the city, and they use the term colored. They are from the south (most from Louisiana and Alabama) and came to our area to be housekeepers and cooks when they were young. They are fascinating ladies, with so much historical insight to share. For example, one woman raised eleven children on her own working as a cook after her husband died. Anyway, they say, "We colored folk..." and it makes me uncomfortable, which is ridiculous, right? :confused:

 

I've been corrected more than once by an African-American friend of about my own age who will tell me, "African-American is awful, just say black." :D I still can't bring myself to do it, of course. I agree with pp that "person/people of color" is the going term among PC college professors and in current academic literature, as a generic term for non-white. That irritates me on another level (as if there are two groups: white and not white. :confused:)

 

We don't talk about race with our dc until they are pretty old. We want them to live as long as possible in a world where it is just like eye color or hair color (and, because of our religious beliefs, they are taught that all people are of one family.) When we start studying racism and slavery in history, we introduce the concept, and voila... they are puzzled and outraged by racism, which is what I am going for. Because of this, my youngest still refers to African-Americans as "people with brown skin." That seems to make more sense to me than any other term. It's the way every one of my dc has described it when we didn't give them a word or concept for skin color. We have white skin (literally!) and freckles, she has brown skin, etc. It's similar to saying a man who uses a wheelchair rather than a crippled man, etc. It's just one aspect of the person, not who they are.

[PollyOR]

My parents are in their early 70's and grew up in FL. We got in DEEP trouble if we used the N word so to me colored was the respectful thing to say. I had a hard time using "black." It just seemed so wrong though colored began to seem old fashioned.

[PollyOR]

I learn so much at this forum, I better keep reading here and never travel to the US for fear of insulting everyone around me :blush:.

 

The land of the easily offended.

[IsabelC]

Perhaps if black people were just black and then white people were called "uncolored" people or "bleached" people it would seem weird.

Absolutely! 'Colored' sounds like people are chocolate and vanilla ice cream, and the chocolate people are different and exotic, whereas the vanilla people are, well, vanilla. Since there are more non caucasian people in the world than caucasian people, it would make more sense to call them 'bleached'.

 

Whenever I see/hear people discussing what is the most appropriate way to refer to this or that group of people, I get to wondering how often it is actually necessary or useful to categorize people anyway. I mean, under what circumstances do you need to tell somebody that somebody else has a particular skin tone?

[lionfamily1999]

I had no idea that term was associated with being Irish!

Yep, paddy as in Patrick... I saw something on the History Channel about it. Everything online I can find says it's either from the number of Irish officers or Irish arrests... the History Channel Doc. was pretty clear that it was an anti-Irish slur.

[mrbmom77]

I'm white and married to a black man. We have 6 children. When we moved, I began the process of finding a new homeschool group. The first one we tried bombed and this is just one of the reasons why:

 

The head of the group greeted me warmly. Then she took a long look at my kids. She looked back at me and said, "Oh wow. We have one other colored family that comes sometimes."

 

I was so stunned that I couldn't even think to say anything. No one in the group even skipped a beat. I was just reeling. None of these women were even close to "old".

 

I kind of expected someone to whisper "sorry about that" or email me after the meeting. Nada....

 

Not the group for us ;)

 

Morons.

My mom is white, my step-dad is black, and they've heard some crazy stuff.

Dad wouldn't be offended by "colored", it just seems very old-fashioned. He is offended by "African-American". Sends him on a rant every time! He says he's just an American like anybody else. (my very short version lol) If his race is mentioned for some reason, he prefers "black".

 

ETA: My family is multi-cultural, so my kids thought everybody's family had different skin tones and accents. My daughter first heard about racism from her teacher on MLK day in public school in 3rd grade. I was very irritated as I didn't plan on discussing that for several more years. She was shocked - "Mom, this just doesn't make sense! Why on earth would it matter?" This is when she realized that her friends' families didn't have the different shades and cultures hers does. Weirded her out.

Edited July 13, 2010 by mrbmom77

[3littlekeets]

The land of the easily offended.

 

 

:confused: Easily offended or tired of being mistreated?

[hana]

:confused: Easily offended or tired of being mistreated?

 

 

Yes, that.

[Murmer]

That's what I was thinking, don't hear "colored" anymore but have been hearing "[people] of color." Which in itself is interesting when you think about it.

 

Colored has long been a derogatory term in the U.S. and "people of color" is a term of empowerment. Like earlier posters, I find both problematic because they assume "peach" or "white" are normal or status quo, and everything must be standardized against that.

 

 

Colored is a word that is used to identify only one part of a person yet is meant to encompass their whole person.

 

Whereas person of color states they are a person first but then identifies the one part of their person that is the focus for many people. This descriptor is used for all minorities so it also gives power to their minority status of not being white as opposed to dividing the minorities into individual groups based on ethnic/racial background.

 

That is why a lot of people are starting to sway from African-American because it written such that they are African first then American when many blacks are American first and African in the far past.

 

But as with all language development it is a process to find words that most accurately say what we want to say so we find words in the process to improve on what was before. The process of getting to person of color has had a journey that started with N word, then Negro, then colored, then African-American, then black now the PC is person of color. Its a process that has taken years and in a few more years maybe we will not words that specifically differentiate a whole race of people.

[katemary63]

Whenever I see/hear people discussing what is the most appropriate way to refer to this or that group of people, I get to wondering how often it is actually necessary or useful to categorize people anyway. I mean, under what circumstances do you need to tell somebody that somebody else has a particular skin tone?

 

See, I just don't get this. IF I am describing someone, wouldn't it be silly NOT to tell what color skin they have? And why is that insulting? I certainly might tell what color hair or eyes they have. I don't see anything wrong with using skin color to describe someone. Of course, I wouldn't point out skin color alone for no reason but in normal conversation, I think it's silly to avoid mentioning skin color just for fear of sounding racist.

 

I've got a new friend helping me in my barn. He's from Saudi Arabia. When I tell people about my barn help, the first thing I say is that he's "Arab" or "from Suadi Arabia" because he is. I do not describe most of the people I know as being "white" because I live in a tiny southern city that is 99% white, so that would be just obvious. But, if I lived in a very integrated area, I certainly might say, "She's a white girl." I just don't see the problem. We are avoiding skin color like it IS negative, when it really isn't. JMHO

[MeanestMomInMidwest]

See, I just don't get this. IF I am describing someone, wouldn't it be silly NOT to tell what color skin they have? And why is that insulting? I certainly might tell what color hair or eyes they have. I don't see anything wrong with using skin color to describe someone. Of course, I wouldn't point out skin color alone for no reason but in normal conversation, I think it's silly to avoid mentioning skin color just for fear of sounding racist.

 

I've got a new friend helping me in my barn. He's from Saudi Arabia. When I tell people about my barn help, the first thing I say is that he's "Arab" or "from Suadi Arabia" because he is. I do not describe most of the people I know as being "white" because I live in a tiny southern city that is 99% white, so that would be just obvious. But, if I lived in a very integrated area, I certainly might say, "She's a white girl." I just don't see the problem. We are avoiding skin color like it IS negative, when it really isn't. JMHO

 

What does his nationality have to do with anything, is the question I would ask. If I'm describing how a person *looks* I may add the nationality, or if I'm describing why I had a hard time understanding a coworker's accent (Nigerian), but not just, "I have a new employee, he's (Irish, Arab, Southern, Redheaded, tattooed, etc.)."

[katemary63]

What does his nationality have to do with anything, is the question I would ask. If I'm describing how a person *looks* I may add the nationality, or if I'm describing why I had a hard time understanding a coworker's accent (Nigerian), but not just, "I have a new employee, he's (Irish, Arab, Southern, Redheaded, tattooed, etc.)."

 

Well, because I think it's interesting I guess. I only know 1 person from Saudi Arabia and when I tell people abou him, I am usually talking about interesting unique things about him like how he brings Arabian Coffee and dates to share with me. My point is, I don't shy away from stating someones skin color OR nationality. It's part of who they are and I don't feel racist mentioning it because I know that I'm not and I'm not going to pussy foot around people who make a big deal about it just for the sake of appearing righteous. (not anyone in particular - random people I may encounter.)

[aggieamy]

See, I just don't get this. IF I am describing someone, wouldn't it be silly NOT to tell what color skin they have? And why is that insulting? I certainly might tell what color hair or eyes they have. I don't see anything wrong with using skin color to describe someone. Of course, I wouldn't point out skin color alone for no reason but in normal conversation, I think it's silly to avoid mentioning skin color just for fear of sounding racist.

 

I think this is a great post because it's how I feel. If we're at a big gathering of people and I need to direct my kids to someone then I'll use the most obvious thing to descibe them - hair color, skin color, clothing.

 

"Hey kid, take this piece of cake over to Uncle James."

 

"Which one is Uncle James?"

 

"The tall guy with red hair." or "The black man with a yellow shirt on." or "The older gentleman that doesn't have any hair."

 

I don't consider any of those to be disrespectful ways of descibing people, they are just descriptive phrases. We aren't all the exact same and I think it's perfectly okay that way. We are all different and I don't have a problem recognizing that fact.

 

I've got a new friend helping me in my barn. He's from Saudi Arabia. When I tell people about my barn help, the first thing I say is that he's "Arab" or "from Suadi Arabia" because he is. I do not describe most of the people I know as being "white" because I live in a tiny southern city that is 99% white, so that would be just obvious. But, if I lived in a very integrated area, I certainly might say, "She's a white girl." I just don't see the problem. We are avoiding skin color like it IS negative, when it really isn't. JMHO

 

I don't see a problem with this either because it's like pointing out the interesting fact about a person.

 

"We have new neighbors." vs "We have new neighbors and they're Korean." or "We have new neighbors and they are all redheaded." or "We have new neighbors and they've got six kids, all boys." Yes, it could be disrespectful but it doesn't have to be.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I think this is a great post because it's how I feel. If we're at a big gathering of people and I need to direct my kids to someone then I'll use the most obvious thing to descibe them - hair color, skin color, clothing.

 

"Hey kid, take this piece of cake over to Uncle James."

 

"Which one is Uncle James?"

 

"The tall guy with red hair." or "The black man with a yellow shirt on." or "The older gentleman that doesn't have any hair."

 

I don't consider any of those to be disrespectful ways of descibing people, they are just descriptive phrases. We aren't all the exact same and I think it's perfectly okay that way. We are all different and I don't have a problem recognizing that fact.

 

 

 

True - but why would I assume that the only black man in those descriptions is the one with the yellow shirt on? Besides the fact that it would be unlikely that a black man has red hair. . .;) If there were only one man with a yellow shirt on and he happened to also be black there is more of a tendency to say "the black man with a yellow shirt on" than if there were only one man with a yellow shirt on and he happened to be white - in that case he would be "the man with the yellow shirt on" instead of "the white man with the yellow shirt on". You know?

[Lovedtodeath]

I have known some true African Americans (born in Africa) so that term irks me. What are they called then?

 

I think people are just too sensitive. DD will say "my best friend in preschool was the girl with black hair" and I will say which one Winne or Connie? I don't remember. Was she black? yes... oh okay I know it was Connie then.

 

Why is that such an offensive conversation?

 

Besides that it is fine for black people to say, the one who is black. I know, I have witnessed it. This whole conversation annoys me.

 

I actually think Negro seems like a correct term. "of the negroid race" is the way the black kings of Egypt are described. I don't know. Sigh

Edited July 13, 2010 by Lovedtodeath

[ereks mom]

See, I just don't get this. IF I am describing someone, wouldn't it be silly NOT to tell what color skin they have? And why is that insulting? I certainly might tell what color hair or eyes they have. I don't see anything wrong with using skin color to describe someone. Of course, I wouldn't point out skin color alone for no reason but in normal conversation, I think it's silly to avoid mentioning skin color just for fear of sounding racist.

 

In my area, there is about a 50-50 mix of black and white. When I ask someone of either race, "Do you know 'John Jones'?", they generally ask, "Is he white?" or "Is he black?" No one is offended; asking someone's race is a non-issue here.

 

There was one instance that stands out in my memory regarding making a distinction about skin color. When ER was about 3yo, he went to the local preschool where I worked, and where education majors from the local college did their practice teaching. There were at least 7 or 8 student teachers each semester, and ER enjoyed getting to know them all. One day on the way home from school, we were talking about the events of the day, and he was telling me about something his teacher 'Miss Jones' had said that day. I had met the teachers, but didn't remember which one was who, so I asked him which one was Miss Jones. He told me she was tall, that she wore glasses, that she had black hair, etc....but I still could not remember which one was 'Miss Jones'. Then he mentioned that "she has dark skin". I found it interesting that he had told me so many other things about her, but in describing her, he had not found skin color important enough to mention right away.

Edited July 14, 2010 by ereks mom

[Lovedtodeath]

In my area, there is about a 50-50 mix of black and white. When I ask someone of either race, "Do you know John Jones?", they generally ask, "Is he white?" or "Is he black?" No one is offended; asking someone's race is a non-issue here.

That is how I have always seen it. I think it depends on the sentence, not the word, kwim? One way that is unacceptable is when it is thrown in where not needed. "That has got to be the cutest black baby I have ever seen." "The black people down the street have a poodle." etc...

 

Oh yes, "women of color" is a phrase used a lot. For makeup, clothing styles... I have seen it a lot.

 

My DH says that colored is a derogatory term. I hadn't really thought about it. But he says yeah, say colored and you will be irritating people.

Edited July 13, 2010 by Lovedtodeath

[lionfamily1999]

True - but why would I assume that the only black man in those descriptions is the one with the yellow shirt on? Besides the fact that it would be unlikely that a black man has red hair. . .;) If there were only one man with a yellow shirt on and he happened to also be black there is more of a tendency to say "the black man with a yellow shirt on" than if there were only one man with a yellow shirt on and he happened to be white - in that case he would be "the man with the yellow shirt on" instead of "the white man with the yellow shirt on". You know?

I don't know, Jean. I rarely poll a room in those sorts of situations. The quickest and easiest way is usually used, with a nod to courtesy. I might say tall or short instead of wide ;) Otherwise, if I'm pointing someone out skin color/tone usually is used to describe them. I mean, our skin is one of the most obvious (and covers the most area) part of us.

Oh yes, "women of color" is a phrase used a lot. For makeup, clothing styles... I have seen it a lot.

I hear/read/see that a lot.

[Rhondabee]

Paddy=Patrick

 

Nevermind - I have Topamax-brain today.

Edited July 13, 2010 by Rhondabee

[Jugglin'5]

That still doesn't help me understand how it's derogatory toward the Irish...:confused:

 

Time to dig out SOTW-4 again I suppose...

 

It was either because so many policemen were Irish in Boston and New York, or because it was used to haul away drunk Irishmen to jail. Nice, eh? :001_huh:

[laundrycrisis]

Responding to the original post:

 

I just don't know how to respond to the use of the word "colored".

 

For a few years after college I had a job in the area of Southeast Texas. I am not from there. I am also white. One day after work when I was not home, a friend from work, who is black, stopped by my rental house to show me his new car. He knocked on the door a couple of times and then left. When I got home, the lady from next door ran over all excited and stern to tell me that "a colored" had been at my house. I literally said "a what ?" :001_huh: Her explanation was even less polite. :mad: I made it clear that he was a coworker of mine and I was sorry to have missed him. I was disappointed to find out that the term "colored" was not only fairly common there, but more polite than many of the other frequently used words for people of African descent. It was one of the reasons I ultimately left the area.

[Murmer]

I think this is a great post because it's how I feel. If we're at a big gathering of people and I need to direct my kids to someone then I'll use the most obvious thing to descibe them - hair color, skin color, clothing.

 

"Hey kid, take this piece of cake over to Uncle James."

 

"Which one is Uncle James?"

 

"The tall guy with red hair." or "The black man with a yellow shirt on." or "The older gentleman that doesn't have any hair."

 

I don't consider any of those to be disrespectful ways of descibing people, they are just descriptive phrases. We aren't all the exact same and I think it's perfectly okay that way. We are all different and I don't have a problem recognizing that fact.

 

 

 

I don't see a problem with this either because it's like pointing out the interesting fact about a person.

 

"We have new neighbors." vs "We have new neighbors and they're Korean." or "We have new neighbors and they are all redheaded." or "We have new neighbors and they've got six kids, all boys." Yes, it could be disrespectful but it doesn't have to be.

 

True there is nothing wrong with describing and skin color is one way to describe people. The problem that comes currently (and I pray this will not be true when my children are raising their children) is that people attach bias or stereotypes or worse prejudices to these descriptive words when talking about skin color. I can't believe how many time I hear that my tall black children will be basketball players...if they want to but right now my dd prefers water and ds prefers drooling whose to say that they will be basketball players just because their skin color is black.

[Slartibartfast]

The land of the easily offended.

 

 

What do you mean?

[Barry Goldwater]

See, I just don't get this. IF I am describing someone, wouldn't it be silly NOT to tell what color skin they have? And why is that insulting? I certainly might tell what color hair or eyes they have. I don't see anything wrong with using skin color to describe someone. Of course, I wouldn't point out skin color alone for no reason but in normal conversation, I think it's silly to avoid mentioning skin color just for fear of sounding racist.

 

I've got a new friend helping me in my barn. He's from Saudi Arabia. When I tell people about my barn help, the first thing I say is that he's "Arab" or "from Suadi Arabia" because he is. I do not describe most of the people I know as being "white" because I live in a tiny southern city that is 99% white, so that would be just obvious. But, if I lived in a very integrated area, I certainly might say, "She's a white girl." I just don't see the problem. We are avoiding skin color like it IS negative, when it really isn't. JMHO

 

One of my daughters is on the local recreational swim team, ages 5-18, boys and girls...wonderful kids and coaches. There is exactly ONE black or African American boy on the entire team of 200 kids. Our entire county is 98% caucasian, white, european american (?)

 

I overheard two moms at practice talking specifically about many children and how well they performed in last meet. One brought up the boy by name, the other didn't know him. The first used EVERY description possible to explain who he was, without describing his skin color, 'you, know, JOE (not real name), the boy over there in the yellow trunks, you know, hes about 5'5"...he swims butterfly...he's in high school, he's always hanging around with BOB...you know, JOE!!" It was innocent, but I thought it was funny how hard she twisted herself into a pretzel to avoid refering to color.

 

You know, some African Americans are white...just sayin...

[angela in ohio]

True there is nothing wrong with describing and skin color is one way to describe people. The problem that comes currently (and I pray this will not be true when my children are raising their children) is that people attach bias or stereotypes or worse prejudices to these descriptive words when talking about skin color. I can't believe how many time I hear that my tall black children will be basketball players...if they want to but right now my dd prefers water and ds prefers drooling whose to say that they will be basketball players just because their skin color is black.

 

See, I would assume it was because they were tall. My brother and I were tall, not African-American, and my parents got sooo sick of hearing that we must be basketball players.

[TechWife]

:iagree: It always irks me when people can't seem to describe another person except by color of their skin or nationality!

 

Me, too! I was assigning volunteers to team leaders once and I told someone to go to "the man in the green shirt." He was one of my team leaders. She came and told me she couldn't find him - he was only about 10 feet away from us. He was an African-American gentleman - she walked past him two or three times.

 

Ack.

[mrbmom77]

Responding to the original post:

 

 

 

For a few years after college I had a job in the area of Southeast Texas. I am not from there. I am also white. One day after work when I was not home, a friend from work, who is black, stopped by my rental house to show me his new car. He knocked on the door a couple of times and then left. When I got home, the lady from next door ran over all excited and stern to tell me that "a colored" had been at my house. I literally said "a what ?" :001_huh: Her explanation was even less polite. :mad: I made it clear that he was a coworker of mine and I was sorry to have missed him. I was disappointed to find out that the term "colored" was not only fairly common there, but more polite than many of the other frequently used words for people of African descent. It was one of the reasons I ultimately left the area.

 

Weird...SE TX born and raised and I rarely hear "colored" - the few times I have, it was from elders.

[Jugglin'5]

Weird...SE TX born and raised and I rarely hear "colored" - the few times I have, it was from elders.

 

Yep...my grandparents' generation.

[katemary63]

See, I would assume it was because they were tall. My brother and I were tall, not African-American, and my parents got sooo sick of hearing that we must be basketball players.

 

Thank you!

[Giraffe]

I was visiting my hometown in SE Georgia many years ago and talking to some distant relatives and their acquaintances about plans for the weekend. One of the young boys (early teens) said that he and his brothers were going down to the "quarters" to see what was up. I looked confused so they clarified - the black part of town. They didn't see what was wrong. I was nearly physically ill.

 

My grandparents saying something like that would offend me but I'd be quiet out of respect for my elders (I never heard them say that specifically, but I have heard them say some pretty shocking things). Hearing someone just a little younger than me use terminology like that stunned me so completely I couldn't even respond. I feel bad about that, but in a way I was afraid to say anything around all those boys.

 

The old ways don't die easily.

[laundrycrisis]

Weird...SE TX born and raised and I rarely hear "colored" - the few times I have, it was from elders.

 

My neighbors at that house were older. After I moved to a house I bought, it was an old neighborhood, and my neighbors there were also older. And many of the people I worked with were also older. It was a term I heard from people aged 50+.

[Blessedfamily]

That is how I have always seen it. I think it depends on the sentence, not the word, kwim? One way that is unacceptable is when it is thrown in where not needed. "That has got to be the cutest black baby I have ever seen." "The black people down the street have a poodle." etc...

 

Oh yes, "women of color" is a phrase used a lot. For makeup, clothing styles... I have seen it a lot.

 

My DH says that colored is a derogatory term. I hadn't really thought about it. But he says yeah, say colored and you will be irritating people.

 

Yes, this.

[Blessedfamily]

One of my daughters is on the local recreational swim team, ages 5-18, boys and girls...wonderful kids and coaches. There is exactly ONE black or African American boy on the entire team of 200 kids. Our entire county is 98% caucasian, white, european american (?)

 

I overheard two moms at practice talking specifically about many children and how well they performed in last meet. One brought up the boy by name, the other didn't know him. The first used EVERY description possible to explain who he was, without describing his skin color, 'you, know, JOE (not real name), the boy over there in the yellow trunks, you know, hes about 5'5"...he swims butterfly...he's in high school, he's always hanging around with BOB...you know, JOE!!" It was innocent, but I thought it was funny how hard she twisted herself into a pretzel to avoid refering to color.

 

You know, some African Americans are white...just sayin...

 

In this case, I would have finally just blurted out, "The black kid right there! Good grief!"

[3littlekeets]

Wow, I really have to say that I'm a bit surprised by the number of people here who find the term acceptable, or that ANYONE thinks that it is just some people being overly sensitive.

 

Contrary to popular belief, slavery wasn't all that long ago. Racism is still alive and well in the U.S. There are still sororities and fraternities in the Deep South that celebrate Confederate Days and have only all white membership. "Colored" isn't just a word -- it is a word that says "you are different and must be defined by those of us who are not." We all have SOME coloring.

 

Sure it is easy to say "the black guy over" because we NOTICE race so prominently and it is still likely the "black guy" is the minority. It is just as easy to say "the tall man in the green shirt," but as someone pointed out --- a white person may not SEE the "tall man" as black because w/o a racial descriptor, they can't SEE the person in front of him or her. How sad! That can only change when we stop relying on racial descriptors as a go to.... There are so many other rich ways to describe people. Height, hair color, clothing, location. AND, if you always describe people as "white," then perhaps describing others as black or latino would fail to be so offensive, as well.

 

Also, if a word offends someone, and you want to effectively communicate with that person -- don't use the offensive word! It isn't about political correctness; it is about being an empathic and effective communicator. We should all think about how our words might affect their targets.

 

On the flip side, if someone says something that offends us, we can respond appropriately. If the person can be gently educated, we can do so kindly. If they are too old (which I rarely believe to be the case), or too set in their way (which does happen!), then we might simply use the preferred term in their presence and choose to model the language we find appropriate.

 

Sorry for my diatribe, but I keep coming back to this thread in disbelief. Race is a major issue in this county, and colored should be considered a dead term...along with N word (outside of a rap and hip hop context).

[3littlekeets]

In this case, I would have finally just blurted out, "The black kid right there! Good grief!"

 

 

For me, that is the SERIOUS problem!!! That if you are a minority, you are invisible without someone using your color label. :glare:

 

How very, very sad.

[3littlekeets]

See, I would assume it was because they were tall. My brother and I were tall, not African-American, and my parents got sooo sick of hearing that we must be basketball players.

 

 

No offense, but it is easy to say that when you ARE white. I am white, as well. When I am with friends of different races, we get looked at differently when we shop at high-end stores, even though we all have Ph.D.s. I watch people walk to the other side of the street at night to avoid my tall, dark male Latino friends. Add race to tall, and you can;t simply subtract race. It just isn't that easy.

 

I know your intentions and heart are in the right place, but honestly, it is a little naive. Being white, male and tall is simply nothing like being black, male and tall. Try walking down a dark street at night with one of each man and see.... if you think YOU got sick of those comments, multiply them by 1000, then subtract most of the academically encouraging comments you got.

 

Anyway, I know I seem frustrated, and I wish we could talk in person so you could see my tone is not hostile, but intensely engaged :D

Edited July 14, 2010 by 3littlekeets

[Crissy]

"Colored" isn't just a word -- it is a word that says "you are different and must be defined by those of us who are not." We all have SOME coloring.

 

 

I recently had a conversation about this sort of thing (specifically the N word) with my boys.

I was explaining to them that I believe when someone uses that word, they are really saying, "You are worthless in my eyes, and I am a better human being than you are."

I may be off base, but there are a number of people in my family who still use such words, and that is the impression I get from them when they do.

 

Like Jenny said in an earlier post, they may just be words, but they are very powerful.

[katemary63]

[

Edited July 14, 2010 by katemary63

[Rhondabee]

It was either because so many policemen were Irish in Boston and New York' date=' or [b']because it was used to haul away drunk Irishmen to jail[/b]. Nice, eh? :001_huh:

 

I figure this might be it after I realized the word was Paddy-wagon, but my brain was associating the definition of "band-wagon" to the word.

 

(I have only been taking Topamax for about two months, and this happens more frequently than I would care to admit. Someone - usually myself - says one word, and I associate it with another, completely unrelated meaning. I know now why they call it "Dopamax" - LOL - which, I guess, is somewhat related to the tenor of this whole thread, after all - LOL!)

[deacongirl]

Totally unacceptable. Some links on race/language/stereotypes:

 

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=122807092

 

http://www.newsweek.com/2010/01/13/i-blew-it.html

 

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=125859207

 

http://thesituationist.wordpress.com/2010/05/01/emily-pronin-reviews-whistling-vivaldi/

"So why is the book entitled Whistling Vivaldi? The somewhat mysterious reference is inspired by a story once told by Steele’s friend Brent Staples, a writer for The New York Times. Staples described how, as a young African American graduate student living in Chicago, he found that whites sometimes seemed fearful as he approached them while walking down the street. Over time, he found himself whistling Vivaldi as he walked past, as a way to prevent others from seeing him through the lens of a negative stereotype about young African American men and proneness to violence. His whistling of classical music suggested that the stereotype did not apply to him, and that he was a man of education, “culture,†and “class.†The story is a moving one. It captures the burden of being in situations where we are subject to stereotypes, and also the remarkable capability we have to function in the face of them, albeit at a cost for our mental and psychic resources. Vivaldi probably couldn’t have composed the “Four Seasons†(or solved any difficult math problems) if he’d had to whistle Corelli at the same time."

 

It is called white privilege for a reason. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_privilege

 

Shannon mom to 3 including transracially adopted dd

[KidsHappen]

I figure this might be it after I realized the word was Paddy-wagon, but my brain was associating the definition of "band-wagon" to the word.

 

(I have only been taking Topamax for about two months, and this happens more frequently than I would care to admit. Someone - usually myself - says one word, and I associate it with another, completely unrelated meaning. I know now why they call it "Dopamax" - LOL - which, I guess, is somewhat related to the tenor of this whole thread, after all - LOL!)

 

I take a med that does the same thing. I think one word and say or type another. I forget how to spell really basic words. Sometimes words fail me entirely and I end up having to described an item. I have went back and read some of my posts before and realized that they made absolutely no sense what-so-ever. They look like they were compossed by e.e. cummings on LSD. :tongue_smilie:

[annandatje]

No offense, but it is easy to say that when you ARE white. I am white, as well. When I am with friends of different races, we get looked at differently when we shop at high-end stores, even though we all have Ph.D.s. I watch people walk to the other side of the street at night to avoid my tall, dark male Latino friends. Add race to tall, and you can;t simply subtract race. It just isn't that easy.

 

I know your intentions and heart are in the right place, but honestly, it is a little naive. Being white, male and tall is simply nothing like being black, male and tall. Try walking down a dark street at night with one of each man and see.... if you think YOU got sick of those comments, multiply them by 1000, then subtract most of the academically encouraging comments you got.

 

Anyway, I know I seem frustrated, and I wish we could talk in person so you could see my tone is not hostile, but intensely engaged :D

 

You hit the nail on the head. Racial bias can appear nonexistent or relatively minor to the dominant culture. This is a situation where the old adage about walking in person's shoes applies.

[angela in ohio]

No offense, but it is easy to say that when you ARE white. I am white, as well. When I am with friends of different races, we get looked at differently when we shop at high-end stores, even though we all have Ph.D.s. I watch people walk to the other side of the street at night to avoid my tall, dark male Latino friends. Add race to tall, and you can;t simply subtract race. It just isn't that easy.

 

I know your intentions and heart are in the right place, but honestly, it is a little naive. Being white, male and tall is simply nothing like being black, male and tall. Try walking down a dark street at night with one of each man and see.... if you think YOU got sick of those comments, multiply them by 1000, then subtract most of the academically encouraging comments you got.

 

Anyway, I know I seem frustrated, and I wish we could talk in person so you could see my tone is not hostile, but intensely engaged :D

 

I almost didn't post, because I assumed that would be said.

 

No offense, but if conversation is constantly shut down with, "well, you wouldn't understand, you're white," we won't get far in getting past this (as a society.) Trust me, I'm not living in some white suburban bubble here. I have chosen to be involved in this issue IRL. Do I have the same experience? No, obviously.

 

I get that you make a leap from basketball to people switching sides of the street, and I can understand what brings you there. But I don't think you have to assume they are assuming your dc will jump them on the street when they say they should play basketball.

Edited July 14, 2010 by angela in ohio