Granny_Weatherwax Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 I have gained weight (about 30 pounds). I am less confident in myself - as a person, a woman, a mother. Or maybe I am a little more humble and realize I don't know everything.:confused: I am becoming more of a homebody. Mostly because of DH's work schedule and not wanting to go places by myself all of the time. I have given up on some of my dreams and am trying to bloom where I am planted. I am no longer the youngest one in the group who amazes all of my co-workers with my intelligence, zeal and capability. I guess the only thing that has not changed is how much I love my DH. He is my rock, although I am quite perturbed with him at the moment. We are both dieting and I have plateaued (mostly due to 8 weeks of ongoing health problems) and the little bugger has lost 10 pounds and is looking HOT! --- I wonder if my detox from aspartame is making me emotional? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 I have done some of those as well. I have gained weight. I also have realized I do not know everything so I probably doubt myself more now than before. The biggest thing for me is realizing how different I am from my mom and siblings. They seem to stay the same and I feel like I have changed so much. It makes it hard to connect as adults. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 I have become more of a home body and I am WAYYYYY more conservative. I hear myself say things some times that I would have smacked myself for saying 20 years ago. My Dad's death last year has also affected me in such a way where I finally really feel my age (and then some). I feel like a part of me is gone and I am just forever altered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 I've gained weight and have a very difficult time taking it off. I've gotten more confident. I have no trouble putting those "young whippersnappers" in their places now! But I'm also more cautious about when I'm going to open my mouth because I've eaten a lot of crow over the years too. I'm calmer because I'm finally learning that "you'll live". (or I'll live). That I'm learning "not to sweat the small stuff". And I think I'm learning to apply a lot of proverbs too:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Robyn Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 Gained weight. I feel like I have less energy, but I think in reality I have the same amount of energy but am busier. I have never been much of a people person, but I get less and less interested in people as time goes by. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 I have not really gained weight, it has just "moved around." :001_smile: I am probably more confident in myself, and very comfortable with the fact that I don't know it all. I have a few wrinkles and move a little slower than I used to. It is harder to keep up with my younger set than it was when I was a "young mom." I too have given up on some of my dreams and settled in to enjoying life for what it is. I forget more things that I should remember, and I don't sleep well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 Gained weight...yep and it's hard to get it off. I'm a lot more easy going, quiet and love to stay home. I don't judge people and I can't stand to hear gossip. Everyone has problems. Much more tender hearted and kind. I try really hard to find the good in everyone. I don't like to eat crow and have definitely learned to not give advice unless asked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 Gained weight, and I'm sane! No, really, that's true. I had a 'crazy spell' in 2006, and I realized after it was over (long story) that there was a good reason I had only a few friends when I was still in high school. I was NUTS. I wouldn't have liked me, either. I have LOT more friends now, and I'm much more of a social butterfly though I still enjoy a good night at home with a good book. I have a ton more patience now that I have kids, and I have a much better hold on my temper. I'm not really more conservative or more of a homebody, and I still have a lot of goals and dreams, though some of them have changed a bit with time - instead of being a journalist, now I want to write books. I still want to travel. I also have a lot more knowledge of mental illness, and given all my personal and family history, that's a very good thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaSheep Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 Oh, I've gained weight too. And gray hair. I have less energy than I used to, and more that needs to be done. I'm less shy than I used to be, and more confident in my own opinions and abilities. There are a lot of things I understand better than I used to, due to wider experience and education (both formal and informal). I have a larger number of permanent heart-aches, and deeper reserves of peace and joy. I'm more tolerant, patient, and forgiving, both of others and of myself. I am more able to trust that God knows what He is doing, and I have a stronger relationship with Him. I have more answers, and more new questions and am getting better at articulating both. I am a better friend. I am better at sorting out things I can change from things I cannot, and better at learning to live with what will not change. I'm sure there's more, but that's what I can think of just now. Interesting question. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangearrow Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 I've lightened up. A lot. :D I'm content with my little corner of the world and happy beyond belief (a big change from the version of myself before I met my husband at 19 yrs old). My husband rocks, though, so he's been the reason that most of the changes in me have been good ones. (He can't help the growing-older stuff, unfortunately, lol) I still stick my foot in my mouth constantly, worry about things I've said in conversations (where I've inevitably stuck my food in my mouth), still am introverted... so the basic socially hopeless "me" is still intact. :lol: I just handle it with a bit more grace (I hope) than I used to. Oh - and I worry a LOT more than I used to. Now that my kids are getting older, though, that is lessening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 I have gained more confidence because I am getting more practiced in which of the lessons I learned in childhood to ignore. They still form part of my character, but I don't know that I can change that. I am a lot surer these days, though, that some of the lessons I was taught and suspected were incorrect are incorrect. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jld Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 I feel more powerless than ever. I have less hope. I think I'm seeing some patterns in life, and I often find them depressing. I think life is very, very hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 Could agree with you on many things here! I gained a lot of weight due to health issues early in our marriage and lost so much of who I was. I was quieter b/c of low self esteem. I stopped doing all things I loved b/c my body wasn't the same and I was too embarrassed. While Dh was always kind I just grew into my shell and no longer was the outspoken crazy girl Dh fell in love with. Last year was horrific for us as Dh had finally given up on me :-( But I can say a year later we are good, I am working on ME and liking myself a lot more these days :) I work out 3 days a week minimum. Dh and I alternate our routine every month. We are also changing how we eat this month and wow, that plateau is finally over! I have to say it's hard some days. I kinda liked the quiet homebody me. But I missed out on so much being that person. Trying to get back to the sassy me ;-) As I have gotten older I realized how others shaped my opinion in my early thirties and Dh and I are getting back to what worked for us way back in the beginning. We were criticized then for spending all our time together but it is what works for US. Once those girls or boy nights came into play we kinda lost our connection. Never again! We both are making adjustments in how we act/react to things and I like getting older. Learning lessons in life is easier and I have enough wisdom now to think before I react. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 I've gained weight. I've become more conservative than I ever was (I was raised liberal... now I'm definitely NOT). I'm more tolerant (knowing what I used to believe and what I believe now leads me to KNOW intelligent people can have a variety of beliefs - esp when that's all they know or were brought up with). I'm more confident in myself and far less concerned with fads or the current style. I stop to smell the roses more. I love seeing nature far more than anything in cities. I blame the weight gain on genetics, the change in politics on seeing a wide variety of life and choices in the public schools (teaching there), the lack of stylishness, etc, on being able to see through the advertising gimmicks for them, and the love of nature simply because of the beauty of it all. I guess I'm a "crunchy conservative" by labels I've seen. I'm VERY content with life right now - enjoying pretty much every minute of it - for I know I might not get all that many more laps of the sun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolybear Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 I need far less excitement. I am happy with just a walk in the woods, a good book to read, a kitty on my lap.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 I've gained weight here too. :tongue_smilie: Although I think it had more to do with two more pregnancies than age since I had gained a lot of weight with older dd as well (which took 8 years and a very physical full time job to get off). The grey hairs are starting to come in faster but I can still pull them without losing too much hair. I'm more confident and comfortable with who I am in general (though I hate the weight), more accepting of my limitations. I've accepted that I'm an introvert and don't force myself to be social when I really don't want to be. Although in a weird way, I'm more confident around people than I used to be. I used to be shy and introverted, now I'm just an introvert but not shy. I accept that I'm never going to be a good cook (or housekeeper) but that I am a good mom. I care less about what other people think and just do what I know is right for my family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 Gained a little weight. Doesn't usually worry me much, because I feel more comfortable in my body, enjoy finding unique clothes and my own sense of fashion, and basically feel a lot more confident about my 43 year old looks than I did at 23, thats for sure! I take better care of my body and am far more relaxed and enjoying just being myself. I am definitely more confident, more self accepting. Probably much more opinionated, :lol:. I am not more conservative. In some ways, less conservative. I can shock my kids at times. I love doing that :lol:. I am much more comfortable socially, even though I still spend a lot of time alone. I used to feel frozen, out of touch with my feelings, and just go through tehe motions socially. Now I feel present and warm and in touch- relaxed. I just like my own company a lot too. As orangearrow said about herself- I have lightened up a lot. I didnt used to be able to laugh at myself very well. I guess I had to learn, since dh laughs a lot (and often at me!). Its a good thing. Life doesn't seem so serious as when I was younger. I laugh and feel a lot of joy in my life- although I still have bad days and sometimes very bad days. There is a LOT of love in my life and I appreciate it- both receiving and giving it. I didnt understand the value of giving and being generous when I was young- I do now. I have a lot of compassion for people and situations because I had a very rough time earlier in my life. However I do try and work on bad habits like complaining and criticising, and forgetting to empathise. Everyone is doing their best. Life is good and getting better. I was not happy earier in my life- from early teens till late twenties it was pretty much hell. I am grateful for the life I have now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted June 11, 2010 Author Share Posted June 11, 2010 (edited) Thank you for the responses - many of them brought tears to my eyes. You ladies are so much more articulate than I am. :grouphug: Edited June 11, 2010 by The Dragon Academy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 I've drooped. I'm pooped. Life threw me for a loop. But I'm ok!:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasharowan Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 I have also gained quite a bit. BUt I have gotten more confident with age, more willing to voice my opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 I've drooped.I'm pooped. Life threw me for a loop. But I'm ok!:D :lol: I've gained weight. I'd like to lose 30 pounds but not be as skinny as I once was. I jiggle more. I don't like that. I'm calmer now and I have more patience. Praying for patience brought many difficult trials in my life, but I'm happy with where I'm at now. I've learned at a lot of people are nasty. I keep to myself more, but I am so thankful for my few close friends I've had for decades, and my few close local friends who are an absolute joy to be around. I've learned not to trust people right away, trust is earned. I'm more confident. I realize I'm married to a rare gem. I love to relax at home more than anything. I feel so blessed to live where I do, and to have my little farm of rescues - my therapy. ;) I'm tired these days. Very tired. I don't like to be too busy. Some days I don't even pick up the phone unless it's my own family. I'm wrinkled. :sad: I've learned not to care what others think. Sometimes I still fall into that concern, but I learn to move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momma2Many66 Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 I am 44 years old. I am much more confident in myself, I have learned to laugh at my mistakes and just to let things go that used to upset me. I also really love myself now, warts and all, I am totally comfortable in my body (even after having packed on all those extra pounds) and in who I am as a person. I love spending time alone, doing my own thing, enjoying being with just me and never feeling lonely. I am proud of what I have accomplished in my life, I look forward to my future years and I no longer fear aging. I love and enjoy my life, I love what I do (homeschooling and raising my family) I love who I am, I live everyday of my life with gusto and grace ! I have learned to accept my limitations but also to reach for the stars without fear of failing. I try something new to do all the time, I am constantly growing, learning and educating myself. I have made peace with my mother (one of my greatest accomplishments, because I did not have a good childhood). I have forgiven her, even though there was never an apology extended. I have learned to meet her where she is and not to expect more then she can give me. This has helped our relationship grow and I feel we have become quite close in the last years of her life here on earth. I have created wonderful relationships in my life with my husband, children, family and friends. I cherish them and I have learned to not stress the little things. I no longer fear death, I used to terribly, I was afraid of dying and leaving my family behind. I worried constantly that without me, they would all fall apart and their lives would be ruined. This feeling filled me with anxiety and worry daily. Now, I understand that The Lord has a great plan for my life, when HE calls me home it is because my life here is done. HE has a plan for my children too. I do not have to fear for them, they will be fine, HE will be there to guide them on their path. This realization has helped me to get over my anxiety and fears of dying and sickness, it has helped me put my life into perspective and to learn to give up always having to be in control. I have learned to walk with God everyday, I cherish my time alone with HIM, HE is indeed my closest and dearest friend. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 Timely thread for me. I turned 39 yesterday. Hmm...I've mellowed out a lot. I used to be very anxious and high strung. Well, I'm still anxious but not over little things. I laugh more. I'm a bit heavier and gravity is kicking in but I think I still look good for my age. More importantly, my dh does! I appreciate my friends more. I'm much, much more reserved and maybe less confident. Overall, I like myself better now than I did 20 years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juelle Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 No one else will give me permission to grow up. This is it. I have to live my life now, and if I don't, I'll have no one to blame but myself. I guess that's what I'm learning: as Rosie said, I always suspected the patterns I was taught/picked up in childhood were not helpful, but they were familiar. Now it's my responsibility to stand on my own feet before God and use the gifts He's given me. Homeschooling was a huge part of that. It was my lifelong dream, but could I really carry it through? I had to step up and make it happen this year, and I have! I am too critical; I want to be more loving. I am a perfectionist; I need to lighten up. I'm human; most of us are. Life is better for all my family if I get out of my pride and just live. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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