If you can't afford outside activities...

[BakersDozen]

I need to know I am not alone in this. Last night I came home from a homeschool meeting fighting tears. All I heard from the other moms was about baseball/softball practice, piano lessons, trips to the zoo/wildlife park, etc. I cannot do those things for my dc because for us it is either order curriculum and feed our family or participate in outside activities. I wanted to get my dc involved in a summer theatre program that everyone else's dc are in, yet the email I received this morning indicating a "small" fee of $175 per student caused the tears I fought last night to fall.

 

I am so frustrated and discouraged. I feel as though I am cheating my dc out of things because there is no way we can afford to have them in sports and such; even signing up one dc for soccer in the fall has to be saved up for all year long. I'm also frustrated because I just do not see how the other families can afford such things. My dh was trying to help me understand this last night by pointing out that we put a full vehicle payment in the bank each month even though we do not owe on either vehicle since our goal is to pay cash for our next vehicle purchase. I could have my dc in all kinds of things if we used that $ rather than save it. I confess that I am sometimes tempted to not save that $ or other extra $ that comes in (even though I love being debt-free and having a savings account) if I could use the $ for activities for my dc. We do not spend a dime on extra things, we do not eat out, I shop thrift/resale and use coupons...there is nothing I can use except for the vehicle $ or tithe $.

 

How do people afford activities like this? These are not wealthy families by any means! Every one of them is on gov't aid (health care, WIC, etc.) so WHERE are they getting the money to have 4-7 kids in programs like this? What am I doing wrong??? I feel so guilty that I actually suggested to my dh that we put our dc in public school for the last 3 years so they can participate in sports, music, etc. I know it would still cost some $ for them to be in activities in public school yet it wouldn't come close to what it costs for private lessons.

 

I really need some insight/encouragement because I look at my dc and feel nothing but guilt. :(

[Jean in Newcastle]

:grouphug: Most of them do not have a debt free lifestyle or a savings account. We do have outside activities for the first time, but we did not until now. Ds is 12 and a half. And we are starting to go into debt. Dh told me just the day that we may have to quit the outside activities.

[BakersDozen]

^^^Thank you for posting this, although I am sorry to hear that you are going into debt. It's hard to be the "loner" homeschool mom whose kids aren't in things and I keep wondering what I'm doing wrong...

[TeenagerMom]

Have you asked any of these organizations if they offer scholarships?

 

Try looking for programs like The First Tee and First Serve. Both are nonprofits that will supply everything for your child for a nominal fee. Here it is $35 for the year for First Tee.

[Jennifer in MI]

I'd also ask for scholarships. In my area, there is financial assistance for every single activity. In recent years, many more are asking for it, so you'd be in good company.

 

Are there homeschool leagues? Catholic leagues? Our local CYO league is VERY active!

 

Good luck!

[Blueridge]

:grouphug: You are certainly not alone! You are being wise with your available finances. I am personally beating myself up right now (silly me!!) because we can't afford the $500 fee to get our daughter the *official* SAT prep class. Things are just ridiculous sometimes. Now I would encourage you to check with the theater director to see if a lower fee or payment arrangements can be made. That fee is probably for costumes, props, etc., and the experience would be great for the kids of at all possible. If not, then the Lord will open another, better door for opportunities in the future. Pray about your priorities, a do not compare yourself with anyone. You are on the right path!

[Wendi]

:grouphug:

 

It is very frustrating and discouraging to have to say no to things everyone else seems to be saying yes to! I wonder how everyone else affords these things, too. We have a good income, yet it requires tight budgeting to afford co-op classes, guitar lessons, and drama for ds. (Plus braces!)

 

Hang in there! You're providing a great foundation for your kids, and a great example of living within your means. People who live in rural areas don't even have access to many of those activities, and their kids aren't deprived.

 

Wendi

[Firefly]

There's a single mom in our group that excels at getting deals on classes/etc. She barters tutoring/SAT prep for either discounted or free lessons. I know too that several places offer reduced rates for low-income homeschoolers. One of our moms sets up lessons with individuals for a per hour fee and then tries to get as many participants as possible -- the more participants, the lower the amount each member pays (we do this for spanish, yoga and tennis lessons). Many of these people are homeschool friendly and are aware that we are often living on one income, so the prices they charge reflect this. That said, I have run into programs that were prohibitive cost wise, too-- a lego underwater robotics class, a mere $650 bucks! :001_huh:

 

Good luck, I hope you can find some activities that don't break the bank. :grouphug:

[Gooblink]

I think your husband hit on the key difference: you're building a savings account. Most of the families I know who have their kids in everything are either making a very comfortable living or deeply in debt. I can't tell you how many people I know who get from paycheck to paycheck using credit cards and, yes, they seem to always have and do so much.

 

You also mentioned them being on government aid...could it be that most of the extra-curricular programs also offer scholarships for low-income folks?

 

Do you have a local YMCA? They claim that they won't turn anyone down because of income, but I'm not sure how low it has to be to qualify for help. Our kids do Y-Sports, though they are now getting too old for the youth programs and (thankfully?) neither of them is particularly 'gifted' in athletics, so we're going to rely on outside play and forming our own P.E. Co-op for exercise and team sports.

 

It sounds from your post as though you and your husband have an admirable level of self-control. That is a great lesson for your kids.

 

Don't fret the outside stuff - I know, easier said than done. We choose not to live with credit cards and are self employed...so we have some dry periods where we can't do anything extra-curricular and then other times when we can. I know it can be very frustrating.

 

Your kids need your time and love more than they need all that outside activity, anyway. :) Hang in there!

[Amira]

My husband has gone back to school and our budget is really tight right now, so my kids aren't getting anything extra either. One thing my husband has done to make up for it is taking our two oldest boys to play soccer and baseball twice a week. He talked to the parents in our neighborhood and he usually gets at least 5-10 other kids to come play too. It's not quite the same as organized sports, but it's free and eats up much less of our time and our boys love it.

[Jennifer in MI]

Thought of some more -

 

Look for local free things:

 

Our local art museum hosts "Drawing in the Galleries" for members. Artists from the area come and help the kids draw every Sunday. For the little kids, there are art projects. They also have concerts and lectures. Our membership is $65/year (and that includes two guests).

 

A local college has a program called "Extreme Science Saturdays" for free!! Once/month the kids get together with professors and volunteer students from the college and they do fun experiments. They get lunch too! Do you have a local college in the area that may run something similar?

[EarleneW]

For most sporting activities you only pay the fee once. Could you not use the extra veh fee payment 1 month and then continue saving the next month?

I do tons of fundraisers to pay for our kids activites. Cheerleading alone for my 9 year old is well over $6000 a year that we just could not afford without the fundraisers.

[Gooblink]

Funny aside - by the time I typed my response (there were none to your post when I started) there were so many posts that already said it - and said it better. :) I guess I need to type faster...or learn to wait.

[Tess in the Burbs]

you know, there are always going to be MORE things than what you do. We do music and gymnastics for our kids and it's pretty much a car payment, lol!!! I tell dh all the time...there is your sports car ;-)

 

I have to tell you though....you said you do nothing. You are debt free and put money in the bank. Obviously you don't want to be charging things but you don't have to.

 

Find some balance. Why are you putting every dime in the bank? Why aren't you spending some of it on family fun or kid activities? It's like dieting....if you deprive yourself all the time you only want it more.

 

My kids get 2 activities. They want music. It's expensive. I want the other to be a sport of some kind. So far they can't decide. They want to do so much but we have to say no. I feel we have balance. I can pay for their activites, but I won't charge to do them. On the other hand we aren't putting much in savings each month....but we are paying down our debt.

 

I think you have to find balance you can live with. You can't get these years back. What about letting the kids do one thing? And have control over it....say no to the absurb, expensive thing but steer them to cheaper activities....it's hard to feel like you do. We do some stuff and I still feel like everyone is doing a co-op. I am SHOCKED how much those things add up to be....more than my van payment!!!

 

I can't imagine saving all our money and giving nothing to our kids. I can tell you right now that doing music has been a blessing to us all. It's costly, but I can see the blessings. It is worth the money. Now soccer for us was not worth the money, lol. Find something that you can appreciate, that your kids enjoy, that doesn't break the bank. It's ok to spend a little for their growth. Just find your balance :-)

[lllll]

..

[fairfarmhand]

check your county/city parks and recreation board. They usually have free/low cost activities in the summer. Start a freebie/cheapie homeschool group with like-minded moms. Ones who don't mind taking a sack lunch to a park for a fun day. I have to surround myself with like minded people or I am the "only mean mother" who is not purchasing ice cream from the ice cream man who drives around the parks. Go to your county/state fair, just to look at the exhibits. We never ride the rides there but looking at the animals and artwork can take a full day.

 

Can you put, say 3/4 of your savings money in the bank and use the extra for fun stuff?

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

:grouphug: Most of them do not have a debt free lifestyle or a savings account.

 

:iagree: Also, you can (if interested) get them into sports, music and such like that through the PS system you live in. That is a free service since you are a taxpayer! That might be an option! Do not fret! It sounds like you are MUCH better off than most from what you have described!!!!

[Susan in TN]

I know it can be difficult, but I just want to encourage you in that God knows your children, and He placed them in YOUR family. This means that He intends to bless them in different ways and through different means than many other families. If their extra-curricular activities are limited to free programs through your community and walks through the neighborhood, then these are the activities they need to flourish, not the sports teams/art classes/drama groups. :grouphug:

[mo2]

You are not the only one. The only outside activity we do is Girl Scouts, and that only costs $12 for the year, and as a matter of fact, they will waive that fee if you are unable to pay it. Yes, there are tons of things my kids would LIKE to do, but there are few that we are financially able to do.

[Danestress]

Your husband makes what he makes. You have three choices

 

(1) Spend and save what you are able on that income

 

(2) Increase that income

 

(3) Go into debt to provide things that income does not afford

 

You sound like you are very responsible. People who save up so that they can pay cash for a new car are probably not going to to spend money they don't have on soccer lessons.

 

So your husband could earn more, but if that is not possible or desirable, you are doing exactly what I think you should - spending what you have responsibly. When your children are old they are hopefully going to be happy to have each other and their great memories. Having six siblings is probably much more "enriching" then art classes.

[vonfirmath]

My mother pays for summer camp for my sister's kids. Sometimes my sister puts away money sent to her kids for birthday/Christmas to use for programs later on.

 

And last year she found out she was eligible for a scholarship that meant she could send BOTH eligible kids to a science camp instead of trying to figure out how to send just one.

 

She also finds programs at Texas A&M that don't cost anything sometimes.

 

My friend's son used to mow lawns and do yard work for neighbor, then save up the money he got to go to summer camp.

 

When we were kids we would do car washes and babysitting to earn money at 12 years old. (doesn't work as well when younger)

[Mrs. Lilac]

I think your best bets have already been mentioned-

 

find free things to do locally. There are usually a lot!

 

find some balance. Use a little money for activities- budget a certain amount and stick to it.

[Sherry in OH]

check your county/city parks and recreation board. They usually have free/low cost activities in the summer. ...

Can you put, say 3/4 of your savings money in the bank and use the extra for fun stuff?

 

:iagree:

 

Many of our nearby city parks offer free activities at least once a month. Also watch for free and reduced fee days at local venues. Sometimes they ask that you donate canned goods in exchange for admission. Zoos and museums tend be crowded on those days, but if it is the only way you get to go, it may be worth it.

 

If relatives give gifts for birthdays and holidays consider asking them to buy or contribute toward a family membership to the zoo, a local museum, or the Y. If you give your children gifts, have a family meeting and suggest a family membership instead of individual gifts. I have asked relatives to consider paying for sports lessons for my children in lieu of gifts. They appreciate the lessons more than they would a similarly priced toy. (A month of lessons at the local Y cost $20-30 per child). If you have a local Y call and ask about scholarships or reduced fees.

 

It is hard when you cannot afford to spend anything. I don't know how much you are putting aside for future vehicle purchases, but would setting aside 10-15% of the money for family activities derail your plans? You could plan to drive your current vehicles longer or purchase used rather than new. If it would or your husband refuses to consider this, could you have a yard sale and use the proceeds to fund activities?

[Katiebug_1976]

You are definately not alone (even though it feels like it alot)! Our oldest 2 dc played t-ball for a couple years early on, but they were in ps & we were given partial scholarships for them. Team shirts & hats were supplied by local businesses. Anyway, fast forward 10 years and we now have 6 dc. We do not do outside activities/sports because of the cost (and could you imagine trying to juggle 6 different ball practices or games on Saturdays? CRAZY!). I find myself questioning whether we should be finding a way for our kids to play sports, have dance & music lessons etc. But I have to be content with the reasoning that God is in control of everything and if my kids need to be in sports & music lessons then He will take care or it and open the doors for that to happen. So until one or more of those doors open, we will just have to be content with playing in our back yard, going to the park & whatever other free things we can find to do. It is so easy to feel like we are "stuck on the side of the road w/ a flat tire" while everyone else is speeding past us in their sports cars. Setting priorities & sticking to them is not always easy, but in the long run it really pays off. I cannot imagine going into debt just for sports, dance, music etc. It would take all the fun out of it for me. I would much more prefer to play soccer in the park and not have to pay for it for years to come.

 

Hope your day is brighter. Just remember, you are not alone! :grouphug:

[Orthodox6]

Also, you can (if interested) get them into sports, music and such like that through the PS system you live in. That is a free service since you are a taxpayer! That might be an option!

 

Sadly, this is not a choice available to homeschooling families in many, many school districts. The line between enrolled student and not enrolled student can be unbreakable.

 

Some moms obtain music lessons by bartering services which they can supply and which are desired by the music teacher.

 

As said by many other posters, you, OP, manage your resources responsibly and are to be admired greatly !

 

Another thing, and I don't know how best to express it, so I'll just bumble through. . . . Until I was an adult, I had no idea that my family had very little money. I knew that we did not have things owned by my friends, and that we did not do things done by them. Yet we had clothing (hand-me-down), food (awful, but that was because my mom did not cook well), a house, and a dog. Probably because I had such loving parents, I did not feel envious or deprived. It never struck me as odd (until I remembered this as an adult) that a very big event for me would be, for example, going to Sears with my parents, and my father splurging on 1/4 pound of cashews, which he carefully would divide among all of us. To me, though, this was "a gala day", and gave me great joy! . . . My drift is that, in a warm, loving household, children do not feel left out of the lifestyles of those with more available funds.

[laughing lioness]

:grouphug: You are not alone. The outside events that we participate in are 1) free 2) those I create (i.e. class-days, drama camp, etc.-the payment is a different kind than monetary) and 3) those the kids pay for themselves.

 

Some days it is a discipline for me to trust that God is working a greater purpose than I can imagine into the lives of my kids, our family and me.

 

fwiw: Kids can't participate in p.s. events here so make sure you check your cities regs first.

[myfunnybunch]

Many programs have scholarships for families who cannot afford the program fees and tuition.

 

And I agree, you are doing the responsible thing. You're setting a great example for your children about financial responsibility. :grouphug:

 

Cat

[BakersDozen]

Thank you for all the wonderful suggestions! There are a few things we have done/looked into:

 

Family members/gifts: we asked once and it was met with open resistance...sigh

Our gifts to the kids: we try to find something everyone can do (zoo membership - $65) once/year as a replacement for Xmas gifts. Our limit has been $75 although that may be down quite a bit this year.

YMCA - we do not qualify for any discount/scholarship

Theatre scholarship - again, we do not qualify

Increase income - dh took on a job managing a rental yet the $100/month he earns went toward our increased health insurance for last year; we just refinanced and will use the $93/month saved for health insurance increases this coming year

 

 

THIS is the difficult part - we are just barely above the cut-off for financial aid for most things. I don't know if there are so many low-income families in our area that the demand for aid is too high but for those who are inbetween it is nearly impossible to get help.

 

We have already cut our vehicle payment by $50 to cover everyday costs. I just got an email from my dh that says we now need to find another $164/month for health insurance starting in July. I am crying my eyes out. So now our vehicle payment will go way down but not for outside activities. This has been a very bad day to say the least.

 

Find some balance. Why are you putting every dime in the bank? Why aren't you spending some of it on family fun or kid activities? It's like dieting....if you deprive yourself all the time you only want it more.

We used to be able to use some of our income for extra activities. For 12 years we lived below our means but that has changed in the last two years (as it has for so many people) NOT because of choices we made that were financially irresponsible but because of the economy and the effect it has had on my dh's job. We do not know when his hours will be cut or when he will lose his job altogether so every penny we put in the bank will help us survive should something happen. There is no one we know who would be able to help us financially should we need it so we are very much on our own. We go to parks and hike a lot so that is our family fun time. It's more the specialized lessons/activities that we are unable to participate in.

 

I will look into the other suggestions including the public school idea. Our schools here are downright scary so we have hesitated having our dc involved in any way.

[FriedClams]

I know it can be difficult, but I just want to encourage you in that God knows your children, and He placed them in YOUR family. This means that He intends to bless them in different ways and through different means than many other families. If their extra-curricular activities are limited to free programs through your community and walks through the neighborhood, then these are the activities they need to flourish, not the sports teams/art classes/drama groups. :grouphug:

 

Beautifully said - and completely true!!!

[mycalling]

I agree with the PP who said to use one month's car payment on sports. My parents could never afford sports, scouts, anything and I didn't want that for my kids. I've found it's not as expensive as I thought. Our rec sports are $50 for the 1st child and $45 for the 2nd, $40 for the 3rd, etc. That's for 3mo worth of sports multiple times per week. Negotiate or ask for scholarships.

 

Also, can you ask for these things from grandparents for Christmas and birthday presents for the kids? Plus, as homeschoolers, this is a gift of socialization!;) We know how family assumes our children never get enough of that!

Edited May 4, 2010 by MyCalling

[cdrumm4448]

My ds participates in Camp Invention every summer. It is a weeklong summer camp that covers science all day long. It's great! The tuition is $175 per student, but there are 100% scholarships that are available, as well as pro-rated scholarships. I know because last year I helped get the program out there in our area and registered a bunch of scholarship kids. www.CampInvention.org

 

Get creative. You don't know what's out there for free until you ask. You don't ask, you don't receive.

[Guest chrissi1]

One other option is to see if extended family can help. My DD taked gymnastics lessons and there is no way I could afford the class on my own. DH is disabled and I can only work PT. So my parents and my IL's will get her a month's tuition for birthdays and Christmas so she can go.

 

It is hard to feel like you aren't providing "enough" but the other people here are right - you are doing so much for them!

[Pretty in Pink]

You can look for community activities (often free) in your local paper each week.

 

Public libraries, zoos, aquariums, museums, art galleries, science centers, and historic sites (to name a few) usually have a few low cost or free days per year. Maybe you could call or ask around and find out when these are and add them to your calendar.

 

Both Lowe's and Home Depot have free clinics for children several Saturdays a month. These are great fun!

 

Rec. Dept. activities are less expensive than traditional sports, usually around thirty bucks per child. Our Y offers swim, karate, soccer, etc. each for around thirty dollars a month per child. You just pay by the month and the kids can take turns rather than all doing something each month.

 

My kids mostly do very low cost things like gymnastics drop-in (5.00 per hour), band (6.00/wk), etc. Our local drop-in daycare center also offers inexpensive classes for the younger crowd (music and movement, arts & crafts, mommy & me yoga, etc.) for between five and ten dollars per lesson.

 

My kids enjoy planning a monthly field trip. I give them a modest budget (sometimes 'free' is the budget) and they do the planning. We have enjoyed strawberry picking (3.00 per child), nature walks, exploring downtown (get a downtown map from the chamber of commerce and plan your route, let the kids use the map to guide your tour, take pictures when they find each location, picnic in a public park, feed the ducks, etc).

 

We mostly do the free stuff and add in a few cheap activities each month. Packing lunches and snacks saves lots of money, as does sticking close to home.

 

If there is a college or univesity nearby they might host free activities throughout the year as well (science and art days and such). And their art exhibits, concerts, and recitals are often free and great fun for the older kids.

[Jenny in GA]

I have not read the other replies yet, but my parents have been paying for my girls' dance lessons for four years now. For both girls, it is a little over a thousand dollars per year, so it is a big deal.

 

Many of the girls at the dance studio take dance class at least twice a week, especially if they auditioned into one of the "companies." I'm amazed that all those people can afford that -- although maybe the grandparents pay for that, too! :)

 

We have found that the county provides some things (like gymastics and swimming) much cheaper than the private sector. It has drawbacks -- the gymnastics is far away, and the swimming has a long waiting list -- but that might something to look into.

 

Another thought: I have a good friend who has her kids in several activities. She confided to me that they recently inherited some money when a relative died, and are putting some of the money in a college fund, and using some for these extra activities for the kids. So you never know how people can afford what they are doing.

 

Jenny

[Kimm in WA]

My ideas, which have been mentioned (but I want to tell you how we've done it) are:

1. Find free things to do. My 10yo daughter is participating in a Missoula Children's Theatre play this week. They travel the country and do one-week sessions. My DD LOVES this and they do it in our semi-rural/small town twice per year, in the Spring and Autumn. All 4 of my kiddos (16, 15, 15, 10) just finished up a 6-week youth archery league that is free to all kids. It is put on by the local adult archery league and staffed by volunteers.

 

2. Barter: For years I cleaned house for our piano teacher b/c otherwise we'd have had to stop lessons for my 3 boys. She enjoyed teaching our kiddos and so would rather have done the barter than have them quit piano.

 

3. Find a way to bring in some $: Take what YOU are good at and offer services, sell baked goods, or teach a short-term class for homeschoolers. Get creative!

 

4. It is controversial, but some states have alternative ed programs through the PS for homeschoolers. There are MANY that restrict our freedoms, but we've found one in WA that does not. I have not made ANY changes to my curriculum (much of it Christian) to participate in this program. They do not place requirements on me that are unreasonable (just reporting what we already do). They do not put requirements on either my curriculum or my students because I don't want to get a HS diploma through them. It has allowed our children to take karate & piano lessons and have 2 of my boys enrolled in a drafting/design class. (For those tempted to flame me: please leave the judging and convicting to

God).

[FriedClams]

I also wanted to throw out -

 

Upward leagues are great. Christ centered. Teaching kids sports versus being super competitive. And cheap. $35 a season with shirt, cd, extra stuff, uniform top. They offer scholarships - just ask whoever is in charge. It's a ministry not a money making league.

 

Lowe's offers free building programs for kids twice a month. So does Home Depot. They are fun and the kids make fun stuff.

 

Ask local homeschoolers or veteran HS parents what's available. A recent HS grad teaches my kids piano - for $5 a lesson. She'd teach them twice a month if I asked if I needed to keep costs down.

 

Our library has lots of free stuff. Book clubs for kids, story time for smaller kids. And our library is pretty weak.

 

Lots of libraries have passes you can sign out for local museums. We don't here - but pretty much everyone in MA does. That's how we saw every museum in Boston as kids.

 

AWANA is a great, fun, bible preaching program for kids that are your kid's ages. There is a small fee but I am sure most churches offer scholarships.

 

Our local wildlife refuge and national park (even a tiny one) have weekend activities for the kids that are AWESOME and free. They are alternating weeks here from Lowe's - so you can stay busy every Saturday here for free with very little effort.

 

Volunteer! Habitat for Humanity, a local soup kitchen, church ministries, a family ministry, etc. There are tons of people who could use a hand and what a great way to teach and mentor your kids. Bless others!! Go rake leaves for an elderly neighbor. Bake for a mom who is sick. Find others to help. It's free and SO much more fulfilling than another team/activity/event.

 

 

 

Most importantly - ignore the noise. You have a large family - do you really want to spend your days running kids around everywhere? Do you want to keep up with the Jones'? Is that the pace you want for your family? Is that your vision? Meals on the run, tired kids, more gas, more picnics and late bedtimes?!

 

We do a couple of activities, and some days I am with you wondering if we should do more (and lamenting that we don't). Then reality hits. The one major activity my son does is Cub Scouts. We meet weekly from 6-7. Most of the boys (public or privately schooled 2nd graders) have been missing/dealing with schedule conflicts lately because they also have baseball - and games that start on/after 7! While they head to the fields, after Scouts we go home, have a snack, relax, read and head to bed. I can't imagine squeezing in more! I feel bad for the kids and parents. From my perspective, God is protecting you from the grind. Enjoy it. Find fulfilling family ministries to participate in. Play games. Camp in the back yard. Read. Go for walks. Enjoy the simplicity you've been blessed with!

[natalie]

Depending on your community there may be lower cost activities available.

 

We have 7 children who participate in the following activities:

 

ds12: Boy Scouts, Little League, soccer, theater (1 -2 productions a year), and dance (tap)

 

ds11: Girl Scouts, soccer, theater (1-2 productions a year), and dance (ballet, tap, and jazz)

 

ds9: Cub Scouts, Little League, soccer, theater (1 - 2 productions a year), and dance (tap and jazz)

 

ds7: Cub Scouts, T-ball, soccer, theater (he will be in his first production this year), and dance (ballet and tap)

 

ds6: soccer (he just doesn't like to do as much as the others)

 

dd2: nothing yet

 

dd1: nothing yet

 

We go to the zoo about 6 times a year and the museum 3 or 4 times a year.

 

----------------------------------------

 

This costs us $1750 a year total.

 

However, $1400 of this is for dance. This is the most expensive by far, however I have heard of dance studios offering classes for boys for free just to get them in there (our instructor teaches well over 100 students and only 6 are boys, including our 3) and as a bonus the boys' costumes are usually just black shorts with a color coordinated t-shirt. Our instructor does give a family discount. She also gives an additional discount if the older dancers assist with the classes for the younger dancers.

 

That means it costs us only $350 a year for 5 children to participate in all of the other activities listed above.

 

This is how it breaks down:

 

Cub Scout/Boy Scouts= 30 (10 each) ... You can get for free though, just ask.

 

Girl Scouts = 10 ... You can get for free though, just ask.

 

Little League/Tball = 105 (35 each) ... Ds12's coach this year is a college student; in addition to the team practices and games, he is going to coach my son 2 additional times a week, and I'm welcome to bring my other children and he will work with them as well - for free!

 

Soccer = 100 ... It is 40 per child, but there is a 100 family max; both a fall and a spring season are included in this.

 

Theater = 0 ... Yes, that is absolutely nothing; we skip the workshops and try out for the actual productions - at first they are only in the chorus, but as time goes by they end up with speaking parts; you could also volunteer to be the backstage help, making costumes and props, etc; it's on the job training!

 

zoo = 75 ... Family membership for an unlimited number of visits and includes parking; they also have reciprocal agreements with other zoos; plan your trips to coincide with when you have to be in that town or city anyway for a dr. appt, shopping, etc. and it doesn't even cost you extra for the gas!

 

museum = 30 ... Family membership for an unlimited number of visits; see note with zoo.

 

 

We used to take music lessons, but that would have had us running into town every day of the week, so we ditched it. One way we made it less expensive was to combine private lessons (ds12 and dd11 shared one spot). Also, she allowed our middle sons to participate and help with the younger children's group classes for free since they were there anyway, rather than pay for them to be in their own classes. She offered a family discount. Some children (not mine) received their classes for free by being her assistant in the preschool and toddler classes.

 

----------------------

 

I know all areas have different offerings, but check around and you might just be surprised!

[elegantlion]

I'm right there with you. We make enough NOT to qualify for help, but we have other priorities with our money. It's hard not to compare and feel like ds is missing out. I think it's especially hard with one child because we try to use some of those things as social activities as well. Our income is irregular and it's hard to be involved with anything that has a recurring payment, we prefer to find one time fee activities.

 

here's some of the things we've done.

 

1. 4h - sign up in the fall, cheap to sign up. Projects don't have to cost a lot.

 

2. Local state park - has hiking trails, lots of wildlife. Not really with other kids, but it's an activity. 1.00 entrance fee per person. We often pack up and go do school there

 

3. Do you golf? - If if you don't going to hit a bucket of balls on the driving range is cheap. Ds and dh do that together sometimes.

 

4. Upward basketball, soccer, etc. - Rec league, still some expense, but not 175.00.

 

5. Do you have a college or university in your town? sometimes they have outreach classes that aren't too expensive.

 

the inexpensive activities in our area are very limited. It's frustrating too because we don't seem to fit in with typical homeschoolers in this area.

 

:grouphug:

[Tess in the Burbs]

We do not know when his hours will be cut or when he will lose his job altogether so every penny we put in the bank will help us survive should something happen. There is no one we know who would be able to help us financially should we need it so we are very much on our own.

 

Not trying to stir up debate about finances so any vipers back off. Just sharing my life here. My dh's company has talked about being out of money for over a year. Yesterday was the second round of layoffs. I lived in fear for a long time about no job. I completely get that fear. but last fall I had had enough. He had job hunted for 9 months with tons of interviews and no offers. I finally decided we could do this a long time and chose to stop living in fear. I started living!!! Yes, we spend money on our kids. Yes, we bought 2 kayaks and gear. Should we be saving every penny. Probably. But my kids don't need to know that I worry about Daddy losing his job. We are choosing to live our lives. AND our kayaks now provide free weekend fun ;-)

 

My point is that a lot of people are barely making it but if you have a little $ and you feel badly about not spending SOME on the kids, why not spend SOME on the kids?? I agree there are tons of free things out there but the idea of setting up your own co-op is the best. What can you offer? What can others offer? Swap music lessons for tutoring/baking/babysitting. That kind of thing. Most rec leagues have sports for cheap. Do you get a discount if you offer to coach or referee?

 

But if I saved every dime up to pay down our debt or for worry of when dh will be laid off I would offer nothing to my children. I had to find that balance and live with it. Sure, I want out of debt. But I also want my kids to have great experiences. I love free stuff but some things you have to pay for(or find someone to swap with!!!). I don't regret spending money these past months. I have very little saved, the debt is down a little but not what it could have been if my kids did nothing. But I finally had to make a choice. I admire all you who save and do nothing. But that was killing our family and we decided to do things the longer way but have a little fun in the meanwhile.

 

My choice. You have to decide what your choice is. You can save up but if you have such regrets why not try to find better balance. That was all I was trying to offer up. ALL of us could stand to save more I bet. But no one knows what is going to happen tomorrow. You have to live a little. I hope you find something you can all do and enjoy for the lowest cost possible. You won't regret the memories.

[AuntPol]

I would keep pressing family members (in lieu of gifts they would buy). My daughter has gotten summer camp for her birthday several times this way.

 

We spend on some extracurriculars but don't save as much as you so it's just one of those priorities things.

 

We do look for most bang for the buck type of activities. Music, Drama, Dance and Arts classes are almost always too expensive no matter where you look.

 

Ours

Scouts-$12 for girl scouts (can get scholarship) plus some dues (I think it was $30 but again scholarships and this varies from troop to troop. some don't do dues). Boy Scouts was slightly higher but not much (I think it was $25). Our pack donates outgrown uniforms and books to pass on to the next level to help out families. American Heritage girls was $26 for the year and doing fundraisers as a troop for the girls' uniforms and handbooks.

 

Awanas-$40 a year most churches have scholarships and some don't have fee.

 

Karate-through our church $10-$15 a year total. Meets twice a week

 

SOftball-church league for 14 years and up. $50 a season, includes jersey. Scholarships available.

 

Baseball-parks and rec $30 2-3 times a week for 3 months, includes jersey. Football is just slightly more.

 

4-H -was free for us

Wildlife Org classes -free

Various activities at state and county parks -most free, some $5 per family.

 

Fine arts non-profit place we have here: $10 a semester for up to 3 classes (lithurgical ballet, hip hop, drama, modern dance, etc)

 

library programs -usually free. We have a teen program, books clubs and craft activities for various activities.

 

Volunteer Work-gets you out of the house and doing: Meals on wheels driver, volunteer at retirement home (and many times learn skills from the elderly); reading to children at neigbhor's home daycare; park clean ups; working with special needs kids at church respite and special olympics;

 

We've lucked out and was able to take the place of someone who had already paid for a sports team but dropped out for some reason. That's only way mine had some sports experiences.

 

We buy almost all sports gear and dance needs from church yard sale.

 

I find that in most every group, there is a mom or dad who is savvy in finding the freebies and the deals. That is the person you need to get to know.

Edited May 4, 2010 by AuntPol

[Orthodox6]

Personal opinion, of course. Family dynamics differ widely, too. . . . I would not press extended family members for help with extracurricular activities. If a child displays a very strong, very marked talent at something, perhaps I would make an exception for that. I would hold off on approaching extended family members for anything other than essentials (such as help with an exploded water heater, or with a major-level health crisis).

[AuntPol]

Personal opinion, of course. Family dynamics differ widely, too. . . . I would not press extended family members for help with extracurricular activities. If a child displays a very strong, very marked talent at something, perhaps I would make an exception for that. I would hold off on approaching extended family members for anything other than essentials (such as help with an exploded water heater, or with a major-level health crisis).

 

 

When I say press -I don't mean "just give me money for my child to do___)!! I mean instead of buying this $50 toy that will break in a month, how about $35 sports fee. If the family members are going to spend money anyway and most people do call asking for ideas of what to get child. If nobody in your family buys gifts for your kids, then of course you couldn't do this.

 

My parents buy us zoo or museum memberships as a family present instead of knick knacks that I don't need. They will pay for camp (inexpensive Girl Scout camp) or pay for a season of a sport as a birthday present. We talk to our kids about choices (do they want sport or do they want that video game???). Most of time they make logical choices.

[lllll]

..

[Jean in Newcastle]

LuvnMySun, I'm sorry to see you so distressed over this. Sometimes there are seasons of our life where we just can't do all that we'd like to do. As I mentioned before, we've been there with our finances. We went 10 years with only one car (which dh used for commuting to work) where I couldn't have gone to an activity even if I wanted to. Occasionally a friend would offer to come and pick us up so that we could all go to the zoo but that was it. Right now, even without financial problems, we are restricted a lot in our activities because I don't have the health to be able to take my kids out even for free activities. In fact, this week, my problem has been figuring out how I'm going to be able to get the grocery shopping done because I'm so ill right now.

 

What can you do? You obviously are able to go out to a homeschool meeting. Put that at the top of your list. Can you take the kids to a park? That's a valid activity. Can you do some of the free suggestions that others have suggested? I've found that if I focus on the positives that many times God surprises me with some new grace gifts that I might not have even noticed if I was so set on looking at what I didn't have.

[FaithManor]

I am sorry! and I do have a suggestion.

 

What about 4-H? We have a 4-H group and the membership fee for Michiganders (and I think this is true in all states) is only ten dollars per child per annum and if your income falls below a certain level, there is a fee waiver as well. Most of the events are free and for those that cost, nearly every county 4-H council offers scholarships.

 

There are a lot of projects that your children could turn in for judging at the county fair that they could make from household supplies. I could even post some projects for you. My oldest boy is going to submit a lead pencil drawing, a crayon drawing, cartooning, clay sculpture, short story, and geneology along with his science projects. If your county does it the same way ours does, you'll get into the fair for free that day and the kids will get direct feed-back from the judges. You can also seek out the advice of other 4-H leaders and mentors who have differing areas of expertise and this is free. So, its not like they would get a year's worth of individual lessons on a subject, but they would be able to learn a lot and improve their skills in a number of areas. You don't have to go to any big expense. Our fair even has baking categories and the kids get to auction off their baked goods and keep the funds for themselves. There is no need to go to much expense and though many kids are involved in the agricultural aspect, there is no requirement to raise and show animals.

 

In addition to the fair, there are many free activities sponsored by 4-H council so along with the once per month regular meetings, there is a lot going on and this makes it a real, extra-curricular program. I know tons of kids, not just the ones from our group, that don't participate in the "usual" after-school activities because they are devoted to 4-H. My husband and I have hosted a bio-fuel blast for community kids and it was paid for by council. We did not have to charge admission. We have also had astronomy evenings with our telescopes, model rocket fly-ins (you don't have to even bring a rocket to launch but just come and watch or be a part of the recovery crew or altimeter/distance team). In the fall we will be doing more physics and chemistry demonstrations that will be free events. So, I really encourage you to consider 4-H. I think that you and your children might be pleasantly surprised.

 

Faith

[Dawn in OH]

You are not alone. All the activities I looked into were way more expensive than I expected them to be. We can't afford it. We have four children and refuse to do credit or payment plans. We can either afford something or we cannot.

 

While I have a hunk of money available (DH gave me money to buy a new couch and I can't find one I like), I don't WANT to pay $200 for 6 weeks of fencing lessons. And that's just for one child.

 

We also happen to live in a county where most of the people are fairly well off. I know a few other people in our position, but they either charge the activities or get money from Grandma and Grandpa to pay for them.

 

I have managed to find a few free activities. For instance, my two older children are very interested in archery and I contacted the local archery club to find out what they charge for a membership or archery lessons for children. They told me the kids could come get lessons for FREE. They would of course like us to join the club (only $60 a year for a family membership), but we are more than welcome to take advantage of the free lessons for the children, they even provide the bows.

[mycalling]

I don't think we're saying ask extended family to randomly pay for things the kids want, just to choose extras like this for gifts instead of misc toys.

[shinyhappypeople]

Check out the local Police Activities League. Many partner with MLB teams to offer free, non-competitive baseball and t-ball teams for kids 5 - 18.

 

The ONLY reason my kids are in gymnastics is because we barter to the tune of about $1,000/yr. No way could we do it otherwise.

 

I guarantee that there are families in your HS group who are stretched thin and would love to find less expensive activities for their kids. Maybe you could partner with them and start your own drama group, recreational sports teams, art club, etc.?

 

You could also get REALLY radical and homeschool for (almost) free, then put most of your curriculum money towards an activity or class. This is what I'd do if it came down to it.

 

Best wishes :grouphug:

[Tutor]

The last two years we were finally able to afford some activities for the kids, and now our income is about to be dramatically cut, so we are going to have to pull back (we have 4 kids, and each is allowed 1 sport + one activity per year, but we expanded that a bit and are now returning to this standard). Fortunately, most are not expensive (the most expensive is dd11's fencing lessons at $50/ 6 weeks) and the kids receive $$ from grandparents for birthdays and Christmas to pay for their activities. I have already talked to the fencing instructor (dd is getting pretty good, and they wanted her to start private lessons in addition to the group lessons), and we are going to work out some kind of barter arrangement to cover her lessons.

 

We had two kids involved in art classes in the past, and the class was free for them since I did all the legwork to set-up the class. I know many people who are willing to do this, and we are looking to see if a music teacher in our area will give us a similar deal if we help establish group music lessons.

 

 

I used to feel guilty that my kids weren't in more activities, but I don't any more. I finally realized that 1) quantity of activities in not as important as quality, 2) if a child is REALLY interested in something, he/ she will help find a way to do it, and 3) if I believe in a sovereign God (I do) He will provide for our needs, so if my kids need to be in an activity, somehow it will be provided.

 

I have actually had other parents (homeschool and not) tell me my kids should be in more activities. I used to hem and haw and feel guilty, but now I respond, "Well, we really can't afford the time or money right now, but if the time frees itself and you're willing to provide a scholarship, we'll join!" :lol:

[Penelope]

Your husband makes what he makes. You have three choices

 

(1) Spend and save what you are able on that income

 

(2) Increase that income

 

(3) Go into debt to provide things that income does not afford

 

You sound like you are very responsible. People who save up so that they can pay cash for a new car are probably not going to to spend money they don't have on soccer lessons.

 

So your husband could earn more, but if that is not possible or desirable, you are doing exactly what I think you should - spending what you have responsibly. When your children are old they are hopefully going to be happy to have each other and their great memories. Having six siblings is probably much more "enriching" then art classes.

 

Very wise words.

 

And in addition to the bolded, I'd add, your children are learning financial responsibility and ethics. What do children learn when parents spend money they don't have and take money from others (government) when they have disposable income?

 

My family has been fortunate enough to afford some outside activities. I thought my kids needed more activities because they are homeschooled. But from what I have seen so far, the really excellent extracurricular activities that are worth the money we pay for them, are few and far between. Many sound like a great idea but when you look closer are no better or not as good as what can be provided at home or through church, friends.

Edited May 4, 2010 by Penelope