BamaTanya Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 Yes, I still have it. No, it wasn't a promise ring. My old bf gave it to me as a Christmas present one year (we dated for 3). I don't want to pawn it. I don't want to throw it away. It is gold and has a little diamond speck and it's pretty and dainty . . . I'm not sure about giving it to my dds. Would it be weird if I gave it to a niece? Any other ideas? P.S. Dh doesn't care. He knows I keep/have kept everything. It won't matter to him if I wear it or if I fling it out the car window. I just don't want to go to either extreme. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claire up north Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 Maybe return it to him? He might have a daughter or someone to give it to, now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 Sorry to T/J, but what does one do with a caret solitare bought as a 25th wedding anniversary gift right before one finds out her husband is a cheating scumbag? Seriously...it is quite a problem. I can't wear it. I took it off and it sits in a jewelry box. Every time I see it I want to vomit. My plain wedding band I will give to ds...it still means something to me. But that expensive diamond is a joke of the worst kind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMA Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 Sorry to T/J, but what does one do with a caret solitare bought as a 25th wedding anniversary gift right before one finds out her husband is a cheating scumbag? Seriously...it is quite a problem. I can't wear it. I took it off and it sits in a jewelry box. Every time I see it I want to vomit. My plain wedding band I will give to ds...it still means something to me. But that expensive diamond is a joke of the worst kind. Well, my divorced friend sold hers. She took it to several places for quotes. She found out that gold is at all time high. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 Sorry to T/J, but what does one do with a caret solitare bought as a 25th wedding anniversary gift right before one finds out her husband is a cheating scumbag? Seriously...it is quite a problem. I can't wear it. I took it off and it sits in a jewelry box. Every time I see it I want to vomit. My plain wedding band I will give to ds...it still means something to me. But that expensive diamond is a joke of the worst kind. Give it to a friend? I'm a friend, right? *flutters eyelashes* Wolf owes me a sparkly for our 10th anniversary... In all seriousness, I'm sorry. :grouphug: I'd sell it faster than I could spit. Take it and get it appraised, either sell it privately, ebay it, or sell it to a jewelers. Unless you'd be ok with melting it down and turning it into another piece of jewelery that you'd be ok with wearing...Navel piercing? A necklace charm that reads F You with the o being the diamond? Sorry, reaching here. I hope whatever you do gives you some satisfaction, or at least peace :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 I would try to sell it too. Then take the money and go out to dinner with dh or with dh and the kids. Maybe Ebay?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 Sorry to T/J, but what does one do with a caret solitare bought as a 25th wedding anniversary gift right before one finds out her husband is a cheating scumbag? Seriously...it is quite a problem. I can't wear it. I took it off and it sits in a jewelry box. Every time I see it I want to vomit. My plain wedding band I will give to ds...it still means something to me. But that expensive diamond is a joke of the worst kind. That thing would go to a pawn shop or the highest bidder on e-bay and with the money I made, I would get myself a full day at the spa. Gosh I am so sorry! :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 To the op, dh and I "ponded" a few old rings/momentos we had from our former marriages. When we got married, we decided a new start meant clearing out old clutter - so we took the rings (wedding bands) and threw them in a pond behind our apartment complex. LOL We tell people that we "ponded" them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Katia Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 To the OP: I vote you give it to a neice. My sister had a really nice gold band with real pearl given to her by an ex boyfriend, and she gave it to my daughter. My daughter LOVES this ring from her aunt and my sister lives far away from us so never sees my dd wear it. Worked out great for all parties involved. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 To the OP: I vote you give it to a neice. My sister had a really nice gold band with real pearl given to her by an ex boyfriend, and she gave it to my daughter. My daughter LOVES this ring from her aunt and my sister lives far away from us so never sees my dd wear it. Worked out great for all parties involved. :001_smile: That is so sweet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 I threw mine in a trash can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 I threw mine in a trash can. Would you throw a $4000 ring in the trash can? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 Sorry to T/J, but what does one do with a caret solitare bought as a 25th wedding anniversary gift right before one finds out her husband is a cheating scumbag? Seriously...it is quite a problem. Sell it & buy something you want for yourself. Don't take it to a pawn shop - take it a jeweller, esp one who specializes in designing & custom made jewellry. You can have some new jewellry made for yourself or if you think it will taint it for you & remind you of it every time you see it, I'd take the money and spend it on a trip. eta - to the OP, I agree with the votes for gifting it to the niece. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaSheep Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 In the case of ex-bf jewelry I'd either give it away or sell it. In the case of the cheating scumbag, I'd probably sell it and use the money to pay for the divorce (or possibly counselling if I were feeling in a forgiving mood and he seemed genuinely repentant). I think if I bought something nice for myself with the money I'd still be reminded of where it came from every time I used it (but that might just be me). If I didn't need the money for counseling or legal fees, maybe I donate it, or sell it and donate the money to a women's shelter or some other good cause. Get it out of my life, but let it do some good for someone else on the way out the door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 I think giving to a niece is a wonderful idea! Scarlett....find an independent upscale jeweler, if possible. They might help you re-sell it. The jeweler we just bought from won't buy diamonds from individuals, but he will keep a stone in mind when new customers come in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 To the op, dh and I "ponded" a few old rings/momentos we had from our former marriages. When we got married, we decided a new start meant clearing out old clutter - so we took the rings (wedding bands) and threw them in a pond behind our apartment complex. LOL We tell people that we "ponded" them. I was dating a man and we exchanged inexpensive silver rings. We got in a big fight and I threw them in a lake. Then we got back together and I had to tell him what I did. :lol: We are married now with better rings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 Would you throw a $4000 ring in the trash can? Goodness no. You know how much horse junk I could buy with that??? But she's talking a ring from an old beau. Was it worth that much? Mine wasn't. Maybe a couple hundred. I chunked it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdeveson Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 Sorry to T/J, but what does one do with a caret solitare bought as a 25th wedding anniversary gift right before one finds out her husband is a cheating scumbag? OY! :grouphug: Sell it! A caret solitaire will bring in several thousand dollars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 I took my wedding set into a jeweler and they offered me $49 on a set that cost $500. Granted, the diamond was only a 1/4 carat, the sapphires were created, but holy carp, I'd think the gold would be worth more than that! So, my wedding rings sit in a box. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnowWhite Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Scarlett: SELL IT and give yourself a vacation or a nice gift. OP: yes, I'd give it to a niece. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Sorry to T/J, but what does one do with a caret solitare bought as a 25th wedding anniversary gift right before one finds out her husband is a cheating scumbag? Seriously...it is quite a problem. I can't wear it. I took it off and it sits in a jewelry box. Every time I see it I want to vomit. My plain wedding band I will give to ds...it still means something to me. But that expensive diamond is a joke of the worst kind. Well you could shove it up his nose, but I suppose that thought already crossed your mind and you decided against it. You could also sell it and use the money to put up a billboard about him. You could sell it and rent time on the radio to tell him off. Seriously... I would sell it and buy a nice vacation. Or books. OP, I would give it to your niece. I think it would be odd to give it to dd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Well, I guess I am the odd one out... Jewelry is jewelry. If it is pretty, WEAR IT! A diamond is a girl's best friend, ya know? :D If it gives you bad memories in its current state, I would have the diamond reset into a pendant or a different ring. After 25 years of marriage you DESERVE a diamond! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wagnfun Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Sorry to T/J, but what does one do with a caret solitare bought as a 25th wedding anniversary gift right before one finds out her husband is a cheating scumbag? Seriously...it is quite a problem. I can't wear it. I took it off and it sits in a jewelry box. Every time I see it I want to vomit. My plain wedding band I will give to ds...it still means something to me. But that expensive diamond is a joke of the worst kind. I'd take the diamond out and have it put in another ring. My mom had her first wedding ring melted down into something else. Why waste a good diamond on a jerk? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 I'd take the diamond out and have it put in another ring. My mom had her first wedding ring melted down into something else. Why waste a good diamond on a jerk? The problem is it is a square...diamond....what is the name....emerald cut....and very unique looking. I can't imagine ever looking at it without thinking of him. But I hate to sell it and lose half its value. Iknow he paid over $4000 for it...probably could get half... my friends tell me to trade it for a round....but I think it wold have the same effect on me.... I have a friend whose husband commited suicide and she wanted to take all his rings and jewelry and throw them away....my parents talked her into letting them put the jewelry in their safety deposit box...a year later she wanted them back.... So I wonder if I will feel differently in a year? It is a gorgeous ring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Well, I guess I am the odd one out... Jewelry is jewelry. If it is pretty, WEAR IT! A diamond is a girl's best friend, ya know? :D If it gives you bad memories in its current state, I would have the diamond reset into a pendant or a different ring. After 25 years of marriage you DESERVE a diamond! Yes Heather, this is correct. But I have a physical reaction to the ring. Not to my simple slim gold wedding band bought 26 years ago for $30. I will keep that and pass it to my son....but will I ever get over the repulsion I feel when I see this solitare? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Yes Heather, this is correct. But I have a physical reaction to the ring. Not to my simple slim gold wedding band bought 26 years ago for $30. I will keep that and pass it to my son....but will I ever get over the repulsion I feel when I see this solitare? I have two diamond rings that I no longer wear, and both were too pricey to just chuck. I put them away. When my kids get older, they'll each get one. Not to wear for themselves (that would be bad energy, to wear a ring with a 'bad' background) but to trade-in or sell or whatever they wish to do with it. If they aren't as superstitious as I am, maybe they'll have their stone re-set (my daughter to wear herself, my son to gift to a special woman). Now, being superstitious, I don't keep the rings at my home :D that would be bad energy, too, always lingering about! But they are in a safe place, ready for the day they can be transformed into something good for our kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 I don't want to pawn it. I don't want to throw it away. It is gold and has a little diamond speck and it's pretty and dainty . . . I'm not sure about giving it to my dds. Would it be weird if I gave it to a niece? Any other ideas? It sounds pretty ~ I think any young woman would feel so special to receive the gift of a pretty jewel, be she daughter or neice. I have jewelry that belonged to aunts, and my cousins have jewelry that was once my mom's. Definitely not weird to keep jewelry in the extended family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 I would have it reset in a pendant on a lovely chain. You could always put it away for your son and let him have it when the time comes. :grouphug: OP: give it to a family girl..I'm sure she would love it. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConnieB Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Would you throw a $4000 ring in the trash can? I'd sell it in a heartbeat. You'll never ever want to wear it....you don't even want to look at it so even the nostaglia angle doesn't fit...nor would ever want to give it to your child or even a dear friend (especially with that value, lol). As for what to do with the money, that depends on your financial circumstances.....if money is an issue then I'd invest it or at least put it in savings for a "rainy day". Think of it as additional spousal/child support that ex-H doesn't even realize he's paid. If all that money isn't necessary to put away, then I'd probably use some of it either to pamper myself, or since I'm not really the pampering type, I'd probably use it to go on a mini-vacation with the kids......after all the divorce is stressful to them as well, and they deserve a little treat too. Honestly, after typing that....I think even if money were an issue I'd feel better spending at least some of it on a weekend away. Doesn't have to be crazy spending.....just a weekend in a different town would be a good change of scenery. Keeping it will only cause you grief everytime you see it, so make it useful instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 In the case of an expensive ring, one that now triggers anger/sadness, I would sell it and invest the money, with all proceeds to go to my children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 I have old sentimental jewelry stashed in an envelope. Gold and diamonds are often a good investment, so I keep them for a rainy day. I like them out of sight and out of mind though. I have a few items, like my wedding ring, a ring from my mother, a ring from my mil, and a broken bracelet that I plan to save and have made into a gift for dd10 on her wedding day. I have other items set aside for my other kids as well. I save all bits of gold, and precious stones for my kids. I figure that even if I don't want to use the stones in their original form when I have my gifts made, I can trade them at the time for something more appropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkInTheBlue Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 I had an opal ring given by an old boyfriend converted into a pinkie ring. I don't any emotion in the ring and seldom think of its origin with I wear it. I don't wear it much at all anymore anyway. The changing of its size and function was a good thing to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate in Arabia Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 what does one do with a caret solitare bought as a 25th wedding anniversary gift right before one finds out her husband is a cheating scumbag? I am really sentimental and wouldn't be able to hold onto something like that or give it to family or use the monetary proceeds. I would sell it and donate the money I got, maybe even to a spousal abuse center specifically. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 I am really sentimental and wouldn't be able to hold onto something like that or give it to family or use the monetary proceeds. I would sell it and donate the money I got, maybe even to a spousal abuse center specifically. If I didn't need the money I probably would. I think I will put it in my safety deposit for a year and then see how I feel about it. I don't know if I could ever see it on ds's future wive's hand without having bad memories....but time does heal much. No one but me really knows how sick it makes me. There was 9 months between me getting the ring and him moving out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BamaTanya Posted September 16, 2009 Author Share Posted September 16, 2009 If I didn't need the money I probably would. I think I will put it in my safety deposit for a year and then see how I feel about it. I don't know if I could ever see it on ds's future wive's hand without having bad memories....but time does heal much. No one but me really knows how sick it makes me. There was 9 months between me getting the ring and him moving out. Dear Scarlett - :grouphug: I am so sorry you're facing all of this junk. It stinks. I think you're wise to put it away for now. You have so many other decisions facing you. You'll know what to do in the future. Give yourself some time. No reason to rush and get rid of something with potential value. Blessings to you and your ds, Tanya Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Scarlett!! Here is my thought...I have had things like this happen and don't know what to do...so I'd leave things in the car or keep it on my person...I wish I had written down all the times where that 'item' that I didn't know what to do with or kept showing up came and filled a need...I am fairly confident that you will find a way to bless someone in an amazing way... I would carry it with you...I have a strong feeling that somewhere, be it a bus stop, a park bench, a library...someone is going to be put in your path that is in need..I firmly feel that God is always using us to fill the prayer needs that come up to him...I remember one time I was running late on a 3 hour drive to get to my parents house..I was very distracted and missed the gas station that I ALWAYS stopped at..to this day out of 100 trips I have only once missed that stop...I was almost on empty and worried about me and the kids b/c I could not remember how far to the next station...well, in about 10 miles I saw an exit that was new!! They had added it since the last time I had been that way...I pulled over and coasted into the gas station....I was praising God and so thankful we did not get stuck on the Hwy. When I look over and there is this man filling up his car and crying. He was in shambles...clothes were old, torn, dirty and he had not had a shave or hair trim in years...his car was barely held together. I went over to him and asked if I could help....the brightness in his eyes (the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen to this day) just sparkled. He said in his deep southern drawl..(mind you he's atleast 70)..."Ma'am..I just don't know how I'm going to get home, I live 50 miles from here and I only have 2 dollars to pay for gas, my sister died and I had to drive to her funeral..." My heart sank, I put my arm around him and told him to fill his tank up...he was covered...He was so thankful, I said no thanks...God sent me to you, I'm just doing what He asked of me. I still get chills remembering his eyes... So, trust that there will be a moment where this ring will bring so much blessing and you won't have the burden at all..... Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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