I admit it...I am a CONTROL FREAK

[Heather in Neverland]

Please tell me if you think this is a bad idea. First an update for those who are following the story:

 

I have met with the powers that be regarding the curriculum at this school. The good news is I am the only one with any professional curriculum experience so they are listening to me. They are willing to take suggestions on any revamping necessary. However, we are limited by money (isn't everyone?) so these revisions will have to be phased in over several years. Also, at the end of the meeting, the director said to me "You do realize that you have great job security, right?"

 

Basically the whole leadership team is made up of a bunch of men and me. The men don't want anything to do with "details". So they are happy to give it to me and I am happy to take it!

 

BUT

 

As mentioned, these revisions could take YEARS to be put fully into place. My children attend the school NOW. So when I take off my professional hat and put on my mommy hat, I want to pull my kids out (well, at least my 6th grader). I don't like the way the teacher grades, the types of assignments they do, the topics they are studying, etc. The teacher is a nice guy and Kyle likes him. Kyle also likes seeing his friends, lunch, recess, etc. So he doesn't want to be pulled out.

 

So here is what I am thinking. What if he went to school for a half a day and homeschooled half a day? He would be in school for Bible, Language Arts and Social Studies but home for everything else. Well, actually he wouldn't go home. He would stay on campus but do his work in the learning lab or library. That would also allow him to participate in afterschool activities. And Kyle actually likes this idea too.

 

Has anyone tried something like this?

[ElizabethB]

As a parent, it could work.

 

I wouldn't do it as a Principal, it sends a pretty bad message, I would suck it up and afterschool what I didn't like.

 

Are there any free or cheap alternatives they could do now? MEP math? An old online Grammar series?

 

Which subjects do you have the most problems with and what do you like to use for those subjects?

[keptwoman]

As a parent, it could work.

 

I wouldn't do it as a Principal, it sends a pretty bad message, I would suck it up and afterschool what I didn't like.

Yes I agree. If my kid were at your school and you did that I would seriously wonder whether my kid should be there if the principal doesn't want her kid there.

 

Do you think their education is less than optimal or an absolute unmitigated disaster?

If it's the former, it's not going to ruin them, lots of people have educations like that and do great.

If it's the latter, well I don't know... you could do it, but it won't look good.

Edited September 4, 2009 by keptwoman

[Colleen]

I agree with those who say this would send a very bad message. The thing is, you just got there. You just started. Already you want to revamp the curriculum (and btw, I don't think it's ever a good idea for an entire leadership team to acquiesce to one person). As a fellow control freak, I can understand wanting to intervene and change things, but I think pulling your son out of the school ~ even for half a day ~ goes too far. I would absolutely interpret that as, "This may be good enough for the rest of you, but it's not good enough for us".

[newlifemom]

I agree with those who say this would send a very bad message. The thing is, you just got there. You just started. Already you want to revamp the curriculum (and btw, I don't think it's ever a good idea for an entire leadership team to acquiesce to one person). As a fellow control freak, I can understand wanting to intervene and change things, but I think pulling your son out of the school ~ even for half a day ~ goes too far. I would absolutely interpret that as, "This may be good enough for the rest of you, but it's not good enough for us".

 

:iagree: For change to be meaningful it needs time. People need time too. I would work with his teacher and afterschool. [like you have time :tongue_smilie:]

[Jill- OK]

...that I think if it benefits your son, you should do it.

 

You've voiced that you're dissatisfied with the curricula/mode of operation and there are plans in the works to change that. Just because no one else chooses to take their kids out and homeschool part time doesn't mean that you shouldn't be able to, right?

 

I mean...you've signed up for a job, and if there's open discussion about things you don't agree with, and want to change, I don't see why your son should not reap the benefits of having some of his education tailored to his needs just because he's not attending that school a few years in the future, KWIM?

 

Maybe I'm off somehow...but I wouldn't think twice about homeschooling my kids full or part time if I were a principal at a school where I felt the methodology needed changing. (I'd work hard to make those changes, and support any parents who decided to homeschool part or full time in the interim, also).

 

I also don't see how it's sending a bad message...if you were stating that you believed this school represented the best possible education for any child, and then didn't send your children there, then, yes, I'd say it was questionable. But you're not saying that. You're being realistic, and saying that there are difficulties for particular students, and so I don't see how accomodating a child's needs sends any message other than a realistic one.

 

(If I were the parent of a child attending your school, I wouldn't think twice about the principal homeschooling full or part time, either. It's a choice, and as I said, no one's saying that it's the perfect one for every child, all the time.)

 

ETA: I wanted to add that I think the part-time option is a good one because it sounds like you're sticking with the school, in the areas that represent a good fit, and opting out of the things that you feel would be better served by other choices. In my opinion, that's a reasonable show of faith in the school. My only question would be...are other students going to have that option, if parents want to homeschool part time?

Edited September 4, 2009 by Jill, OK

[WTMCassandra]

I agree with those who say this would send a very bad message. The thing is, you just got there. You just started. Already you want to revamp the curriculum (and btw, I don't think it's ever a good idea for an entire leadership team to acquiesce to one person). As a fellow control freak, I can understand wanting to intervene and change things, but I think pulling your son out of the school ~ even for half a day ~ goes too far. I would absolutely interpret that as, "This may be good enough for the rest of you, but it's not good enough for us".

 

I think I must weigh in with keptwoman and Colleen on this one. I think pulling your children out would create a crisis of confidence in your leadership. I would:

 

1. "Suck it up and afterschool" like keptwoman said.

2. Ask to implement short-range plans while the long-term plans are implemented to meet students where they are at NOW, such as everyone having math at the same time so students can move up or down if needed.

 

And I too understand your inner control freak and not wanting to sacrifice your children on the educational altar. Can your h help you with the afterschooling and weekendschooling?

[Heather in Neverland]

Here are a couple more details:

 

1. I cannot realistically afterschool. We tried it at first. He has TONS of homework that takes him right up until bedtime every night. We have NO "family" time. It is school, piano, dinner, homework, bed.

 

2. Another reason we want to cut the school day in half is because my son has pretty severe sensory integration issues...always has. I thought it had gotten better, and in some ways it has, but really he just wasn't in a situation where those issues were a problem. Now that he is back in a large group situation for 8 hours a day, they are rearing their ugly head again. He has a great deal of trouble blocking out ANY sensory input to focus on his work. This is another reason why he has so much homework and why it takes him so long. I am thinking we might have made a mistake putting him in for a full day to begin with. Maybe we should have eased him in?

 

3. I went to college to become a teacher before I was married and had children. After teaching for several years, then getting married and having a special needs child, I realized that homeschooling, for my family, is the best way to educate. So even though I continued to work in the ps field, my own children were going to have the best I could give them.

 

So I could pull this off by blaming it entirely on Kyle's special needs and not bring up the issues I have with their curriculum. Also, I don't want to sacrifice the best education I could give him while I help this school bring their curriculum up to par. If I wasn't willing to do it before then I why am I willing to do it now? Because I work here? Where do my loyalties lie? Where SHOULD they lie? That is what I am struggling with right now.

 

I am excited about the possibilities for the school and I am excited to lead this project but we are talking about a 5-year plan in order to revamp all curriculum k-12 (ideas come fast, change comes slowly). My son will be close to graduating by then. :confused:

[Kate in Arabia]

I think it would work, esp if you are de-emphasizing the issues you have with the school's curriculum. However, I'm not sure how it would be to have him in school, but not "in school", for half a day. Wouldn't students see him around and wonder what was going on? It might set him apart or cause some friction there? Obviously I don't know the setup of the school or how many students, etc., so maybe this wouldn't be a problem at all. How much time per day will this really mean that he's doing "independent study"?

[tex-mex]

As mentioned, these revisions could take YEARS to be put fully into place. My children attend the school NOW. So when I take off my professional hat and put on my mommy hat, I want to pull my kids out (well, at least my 6th grader). I don't like the way the teacher grades, the types of assignments they do, the topics they are studying, etc. The teacher is a nice guy and Kyle likes him. Kyle also likes seeing his friends, lunch, recess, etc. So he doesn't want to be pulled out.

 

So here is what I am thinking. What if he went to school for a half a day and homeschooled half a day? He would be in school for Bible, Language Arts and Social Studies but home for everything else. Well, actually he wouldn't go home. He would stay on campus but do his work in the learning lab or library. That would also allow him to participate in afterschool activities. And Kyle actually likes this idea too.

 

Has anyone tried something like this?

 

Hmmmm... well it is a start?

 

I'd rather not have the principal of the school not pull their own child out 1/2 day either as it sends a bad message. Plus, from a staff POV, it will create ill will with staff and you. Folks will take sides.

 

Another POV is welcome to the world of committees! If you are serious about the matter, get it going for those who will be in your place years from now. I know it doesn't help your current problem. Have you tried talking to the teacher in person and coming up with a happy compromise?

[Heather in Neverland]

I think it would work, esp if you are de-emphasizing the issues you have with the school's curriculum. However, I'm not sure how it would be to have him in school, but not "in school", for half a day. Wouldn't students see him around and wonder what was going on? It might set him apart or cause some friction there? Obviously I don't know the setup of the school or how many students, etc., so maybe this wouldn't be a problem at all. How much time per day will this really mean that he's doing "independent study"?

 

That is another issue. His classmates WILL want to know why he isn't there half the day and we are not sure how to handle that. Which is another reason we haven't made a move yet. He would be doing independent study for 3 hours each day. He would go to school from 8:30 until noon and go to homeroom, Bible, LA, SS and lunch/recess (and chapel on Wednesdays). Then from 12-3 he would work independently on math, science and latin. This would lighten his homework load too a lot.

 

It is a tough decision.

[Carol in Cal.]

So be ready!

 

I do agree with Colleen.

 

I think that this is dangerous for your career, seriously dangerous.

 

If you pin it all on his special needs status, you MIGHT get away with it. But all of the other changes that you are making are going to ruffle some feathers, and having your own son not participate in the school is a very large trump card to hand to ruffled people. They will use it.

 

I wonder whether you could initiate a pilot 'partial homeschooling' program, maybe 2 days a week, covering PE, music, foreign language, and science--one that would give assignments to be completed at home, but incorporate them with other home teaching? Then your son could gracefully be included as one of the experimental children. You'd totally be a hero--even being willing to risk your DS's education to make this work. It would give people some options, and give them confidence in your leadership in setting this up.

 

There are several schools around here that have programs like that incorporated with a 5 day school institution. One is an Orthodox parochial school, and the other is a Christian school that has a lot of homeschoolers feeding into it.

[keptwoman]

So is the school just not able to work with your sons issues at all? He couldn't wear earplugs in class? (I totally understand this issue by the way because it's an issue for my C and I know that while it's not a big deal at home, putting him back in school would be quite a different matter) I'm guessing that maybe there are other kids with special issues at the school who may also be struggling, is there a way to help them all?

[Danestress]

who can work with your son, review his situation and his sensory integration issues, and recommend that you only have him in school half days? Then you could make the decision and blame it on him/her.

 

Wimpy, I know, but it might smooth feelings. If you find a doctor you really really bond with you could say, "Look, I think this would be best. Don't you? Could you help me out by recommending it, even orally, to me right now so that I can say I'm doing it based on that recommendation? Cause otherwise, as principal, I'm in a delicate situation ...."

[tex-mex]

Here are a couple more details:

 

2. Another reason we want to cut the school day in half is because my son has pretty severe sensory integration issues...always has. I thought it had gotten better, and in some ways it has, but really he just wasn't in a situation where those issues were a problem. Now that he is back in a large group situation for 8 hours a day, they are rearing their ugly head again. He has a great deal of trouble blocking out ANY sensory input to focus on his work. This is another reason why he has so much homework and why it takes him so long. I am thinking we might have made a mistake putting him in for a full day to begin with. Maybe we should have eased him in?

 

3. I went to college to become a teacher before I was married and had children. After teaching for several years, then getting married and having a special needs child, I realized that homeschooling, for my family, is the best way to educate. So even though I continued to work in the ps field, my own children were going to have the best I could give them.

 

So I could pull this off by blaming it entirely on Kyle's special needs and not bring up the issues I have with their curriculum.

 

I understand where you are at. But I feel even having him HSed ON CAMPUS while you work as a Prinicpal sends a really bad message. Folks will gossip and staff will gripe, kwim?

 

Since pulling him out and homeschooling is not the option... why can't you and the teacher come up with an IEP plan for accomodations? Reduce the load of homework, allieviate sensory issues, allow for longer test taking time, etc. I'm sure if you explained it to him in a professional manner (not upset mommy) he would be willing to work with you. I've done this many times for students without formally having them in an IEP contract. See if a teacher's assistant can pull him out of the classroom to work on projects or tests.

 

This is a great website to gather IEP goals and accomodations:

http://www.ldonline.org/educators

 

http://www.ldonline.org/article/Accommodations_for_Students_with_LD

Edited September 4, 2009 by tex-mex

[Avila]

Yes I agree. If my kid were at your school and you did that I would seriously wonder whether my kid should be there if the principal doesn't want her kid there.

 

 

:iagree: Having the principal pull her child out of the school, even for a half-day, would seriously damage my confidence in the school as a parent. It sounds like a tough thing to balance what you want to do with your child with your responsibilities as an administrator, but you had to see at least part of this coming when you agreed to place your kids in the school. Being principal at the school your child attends is going to be a fine line to walk because the other parents are watching you and your child to make sure special privileges aren't being given (at least this was the case at the parochial school my DD attended). I wouldn't underestimate this, but I guess I also wouldn't let it be the sole factor in judging what the right thing is for your child either.

 

Hope you find a compromise you can live with!

Edited September 4, 2009 by Asenik

[Stacy in NJ]

Are other students at the school allowed to attend only part-time? I could see this being an issue. If you provide your son with special status, whatever the reason, others could want the same option.

[ConnieB]

Please tell me if you think this is a bad idea. First an update for those who are following the story:

 

I have met with the powers that be regarding the curriculum at this school. The good news is I am the only one with any professional curriculum experience so they are listening to me. They are willing to take suggestions on any revamping necessary. However, we are limited by money (isn't everyone?) so these revisions will have to be phased in over several years. Also, at the end of the meeting, the director said to me "You do realize that you have great job security, right?"

 

Basically the whole leadership team is made up of a bunch of men and me. The men don't want anything to do with "details". So they are happy to give it to me and I am happy to take it!

 

BUT

 

As mentioned, these revisions could take YEARS to be put fully into place. My children attend the school NOW. So when I take off my professional hat and put on my mommy hat, I want to pull my kids out (well, at least my 6th grader). I don't like the way the teacher grades, the types of assignments they do, the topics they are studying, etc. The teacher is a nice guy and Kyle likes him. Kyle also likes seeing his friends, lunch, recess, etc. So he doesn't want to be pulled out.

 

So here is what I am thinking. What if he went to school for a half a day and homeschooled half a day? He would be in school for Bible, Language Arts and Social Studies but home for everything else. Well, actually he wouldn't go home. He would stay on campus but do his work in the learning lab or library. That would also allow him to participate in afterschool activities. And Kyle actually likes this idea too.

 

Has anyone tried something like this?

 

 

I'm confused....I understand the part about changing over the curriculum will take time....they've invested in this curriculum and can't just dump it and buy another. Got that part.

 

But your complaints about your son's education don't seem to have anything to do with a specific curriculum....

 

 

 

I don't like the way the teacher grades, the types of assignments they do, the topics they are studying, etc.

 

 

This sounds like you don't like the teacher and/or his style. Could your son move to another teacher?

 

If not, I think "afterschooling" is a great idea.....it sounds like your son would get the best of both worlds....time with his friends, but instruction that you consider what he needs. BUT....how does he feel about it? Would he be able to get all your assignments done in his second half of the day? I'm not sure my kids would like that situation if it meant his schoolday would be longer than the other kids...but if it meant he got done with his second half same time as they did, probably fine.

 

My other concern would be his teacher.....even good teachers might resent the implication of your removing your son for half his classes. Teacher might intellectually understand and agree with it....BUT could he keep his personal emotions out of it and not take it out, even subtly, on your son. That would not be a healthy situation for your son.

 

THe last idea I have.....could you contact the publisher of the curriculum you want and see if there is anything they can do to help? If I recall you're schooling American kids in a foreign country....I wonder if they might see that as a charitable situation and could reduce the cost of their curriculum significantly. Then perhaps you could seek sponsors from the company's that employee the parents of this kids.....when my DH was living in Hong Kong as a foreign student while he dad worked there, dad's company spent a lot of extra money to keep dad/family happy because they wanted to be sure dad wouldn't leave. Some of the stories DH tells are hilarious where dad "blackmailed" company into some perks....but some of the requests were for pretty basic "needs". Perhaps with a little work you could find a way for the school to get the curriculum at little or no cost so that they'd be willing/able to toss the stuff they have. In fact, there seem to be grants for every other situation you can think of, I wonder if there are grants you could apply for to help here? Creative thinking might come up with the money so that "someday" could be as close as next year.

[Chris in VA]

Who's going to be supervising your son when he's doing his independent work?

[snickelfritz]

But, I am in the camp that thinks it will create issues with the other parents. And they will find out. The other kids will complain that the principal's kid gets out of work. That he gets special treatment. It will tell them that you're not committed to the system (and believe in it) that you are helping to oversee.

 

I know there are people who have a spouse that teaches while they homeschool their own kids. I wonder if that doesn't work better in larger schools? It would have created a problem in the small town I grew up in. And for it to be the principal? Yowzers.....

[Colleen]

None of the new info changes my opinion. It sounds to me like you're trying to justify what imo is a bad decision.

[cougarmom4]

It's great to hear that you are able to bring changes to your school...it is always frustrating when things don't happen as quickly as we need them to though!

 

Let's think outside the box for a minute...maybe it doesn't have to be all or nothing...or all or half-day. Are there any other ways to get what you want for your ds? How willing is the teacher to think outside the box?

 

Could you choose just one of those subjects (perhaps the most important one to you right now), talk to the teacher, and have your ds do alternate assignments/independent study with your choice of curriculum (that you happily provide)? For example, if you're going to choose math...at home, you teach the lesson (instead of him doing homework during homework time, you teach the concepts), then during schooltime, he does his homework independently. If it works well, you could add in another subject in a few months.

 

In my opinion, if the teacher is willing (you are the boss, afterall, right? :)), and if you both set up guidelines, it can work. For example, your son is not to call attention to the fact he is doing different work, is not to ask teacher for help but save questions for later, is to be on task, knows what to do if he's done early (pulls out a book or vocabulary workbook).

 

Another option is to see if the teacher will accept a different assignment for homework...may not work in all cases, but is a possibility. For example, my dd10's teacher gives them a reading comprehension worksheet every single week...I'm considering talking with her to replace this with a narration writing assignment instead (as it would still show comprehension, but work on needed writing skills at the same time). Then you'd have more time to afterschool a subject or two...using whatever curriculum you want.

 

Last year I brought my ds11 home for M-Th, he attended school only on Fridays (which was a half-day). He brought his own math and writing assignments, but joined the class for read-aloud, spelling test (we never even studied it, he just took the test on Fridays), orchestra, recess, and lunch. It worked well--because the teacher and I were in frequent contact and working together to make the best of the situation.

 

Good luck in your brainstorming & decision-making! I'd say do what you think is best for your son...

[Heather in Neverland]

None of the new info changes my opinion. It sounds to me like you're trying to justify what imo is a bad decision.

 

I am not trying to "justify" any decision as we have not MADE a decision yet. I am trying to look at it from all angles and I realize mine is partly an emotional one which is why I came here for more opinions. But I WILL do what is best for my son regardless of what anyone outside of our family thinks. I just need to figure out what that is.

 

I hired on to be the principal of a school. It is a JOB. It is not my LIFE. I will do the job well...very well. But enrolling my children in this school free of charge is a benefit they offer to employees, not a requirement for hiring.

 

I use to teach in a dangerous inner city school. My kids didn't attend that school either. I taught there because those kids DIDN'T have a chance at a better education and I wanted to help but I was NOT willing to sacrifice my own children's education to do so. What good would that do?

 

I still haven't made a decision but I don't think that giving my son the unique education that he needs makes me a bad principal.

[JennC]

First I think control freaks are really just concerned about what everyone else is doing. I wouldn't consider someone who is concerned about her own family any kind of freak :)

I've been giving this some thought. My son (5th gr) is best friends with the son of the principal at the private chrisitan school he just came out of. (my son is now homeschooled - need to update sig)

Principal's son is somewhat challenged in school in that he is advanced in science and math and behind in reading and social skills. If the principal (whose wife is a teacher) decided to do something like what you are considering :

I would think it was great - I always think education should be about the CHild, not the other children or the parents.

Some parents might be ugly about it, but those parents are ugly about everything.

Your son's peers will ask questions, then they will get over it.

Except the children who would be rude if he stayed in the classroom.

So basically, in my opinion - if it helps you at all IDK - you don't really have a lot to lose, but much to gain.

I personally would have a lot of respect professionally and personally for an educator/administrator who acknowledged the need to meet EACH child where he is. And from your other posts I've read, I believe that if Susie's mom came to you and proposed something of a similar "thread", you would be reasonable with her as well. If parents - even the naysayers - see that you are fair and obviously doing your best to provide the best for each student, that would be respected.

the teachers - having more at stake personally - may have a hard time, unless you seriously make them a part of the plan. That would be my target ally set. If that makes any sense at all, Thank you for reading what I meant :)

[Kate in Arabia]

Heather, would the school give you a hard time about credits and the like? I'm trying to think how it would be if I tried something like that here at the local British/American school. Would they still be able to give you a transcript, etc? If you had other parents who wanted to do the same thing, would you be able to accommodate them from this standpoint? I'm talking about credits and transferable paperwork if they needed it. If they stayed with you through 12th (does it go that high?) would you be able to issue a diploma or no? Could this cause trouble with the Education Ministry there?

 

The government here is pretty strict about things once you enroll in a school. My kids do go to the British school for sports, which is allowed (prior principals have not allowed it but this one does). I think it's more workable if your son came to school in the mornings then left and spent the afternoons at home or somewhere else off-campus. Could you hire a tutor or arrange something else for that time? I just think taking him out, but still having them there, could cause more grumbling than if you said "He's leaving for special tutoring". But be ready to either accept other people who want to do it, or be ready to explain that he won't be earning full credit from the school, kwim?

 

Hmmm... still thinking....

[snickelfritz]

I hired on to be the principal of a school. It is a JOB. It is not my LIFE. I will do the job well...very well. But enrolling my children in this school free of charge is a benefit they offer to employees, not a requirement for hiring.

 

If this causes huge problems with the students, parents, and staff....will it be easy for you to find a new job at the end of the year? My assumption was that it's not just a matter of you switching school districts.

 

Do YOU think it will cause huge problems or does the school population not give off that vibe at all? Would you be the first faculty member who did not enroll their children in the school? Even if it's a benefit, the previous faculty behavior may have set an expectation for enrollment.

 

I do think you should tread lightly on the half-day thing and setting precedent for alternative enrollment arrangements, as opposed to full-blown taking him out. Are you fine with other parents doing the same thing? Beyond YOU, is the SCHOOL willing to let them pick and choose what classes they want their children enrolled in?

 

I was a PK (in my world, that's a principal's kid:D) and I just know that EVERYTHING is construed by people to be a result of favoritism.

[Impish]

Difference is, you're not a teacher anymore. You're the principal, and a far more visible figure. And, the fact is, your son DOES attend the school.

 

As a parent, I would be upset, offended, and likely downright angry. My thinking would be along the lines of the school not being good enough for your child, your child getting special privileges (does any other family get to pull their child every afternoon?) and so forth.

 

And I have no doubt the other kids would be jealous as well.

 

My suggestion is perhaps an 'enrichment' class that other children are invited to. That would perhaps work better, and not be such blatant favouritism.

 

Yes, you're his mother. You're also the principal of the school he attends. While in the building, during school hours, your first obligation is to the school. They're paying for your time. Sorry, but that's how it is. If you cannot balance the two, then I don't see this being successful. You simply cannot create a special designation for your son in your place of employment. All the students deserve equal treatment, regardless of who their mother is.

 

I'm sorry, because I can see your concern for your son so clearly, and I do empathize with you...but to tell you anything but what I've typed above would be dishonest. I honestly and truly believe that if you follow what you're considering, having your son pulled half a day and continuing to work in the school, you're going to have a horrible backlash that could well cost you your job. I think pulling your son for half a day every day would have negative backlash, even if he wasn't working in the school.

 

Sorry, Heather :grouphug:

 

ETA: I just saw that parents pay for their children to attend. Yes, absolutely major backlash. And likely decreased enrollment, tuition...I'm sorry, I just can't see this not jeopardizing your job if you follow through with what you're thinking. Like I said, the only way I can see around it is if you offer it as an enrichment, and include other kids...but then be prepared for angry parents demanding to know why THEIR child isn't invited/included.

 

I'm sorry, but this just smacks of being a Hydra issue to me.

Edited September 4, 2009 by Impish

[SonshineLearner]

I would not talk at all about the curricula being a problem. I would mention that the transition to full time school you thought would just happen...needs a bit of time due to his issues. How much he loves school, and how the teacher sees him doing the morning and then coming to your office for the rest. The only problem I see with this, is will they see this taking away from your job?? If money wasn't an issue, an afternoon nanny type person who could come get him and bring him back might work out. I would go into it with the talk of...as his issues calm, next year, we'd like to see if we can add a class or two back....

I know that Classical Conversations has a great collection of memory work, and if you put a cycle into it....between Cycle 1 and 2...it'd be a 4 year cycle and add some spice to any curriculum. (Or for ease...leave it as it is. ) Anyway, very cost effective...low effort...lots of material to help hang that info on...Just a thought...Their whole emphasis is a stick in the sand:-) is all you need...

Carrie:-)

[Laura Corin]

So here is what I am thinking. What if he went to school for a half a day and homeschooled half a day? He would be in school for Bible, Language Arts and Social Studies but home for everything else. Well, actually he wouldn't go home. He would stay on campus but do his work in the learning lab or library. That would also allow him to participate in afterschool activities. And Kyle actually likes this idea too.

 

Has anyone tried something like this?

 

It didn't work very well, I'm afraid. The social side was not good, because people tended to make friends with the classmates who were around all the time. The academic side wasn't great either, as we had to fit around the school timetable, putting a crimp on our home educating style. Things like projects, school plays, etc., tended to exclude him, as he couldn't attend all the sessions.

 

I am a serious control freak, but when the boys go to school I am going to try to let go. I'll still give them assigned reading, if the school doesn't give much. Otherwise.... the school has them.

 

Best wishes

 

Laura

[gandpsmommy]

I am not trying to "justify" any decision as we have not MADE a decision yet. I am trying to look at it from all angles and I realize mine is partly an emotional one which is why I came here for more opinions. But I WILL do what is best for my son regardless of what anyone outside of our family thinks. I just need to figure out what that is.

 

I hired on to be the principal of a school. It is a JOB. It is not my LIFE. I will do the job well...very well. But enrolling my children in this school free of charge is a benefit they offer to employees, not a requirement for hiring.

 

I use to teach in a dangerous inner city school. My kids didn't attend that school either. I taught there because those kids DIDN'T have a chance at a better education and I wanted to help but I was NOT willing to sacrifice my own children's education to do so. What good would that do?

 

I still haven't made a decision but I don't think that giving my son the unique education that he needs makes me a bad principal.

 

FWIW, I completely agree with you, Heather. Your job and your child's education are completely separate issues. Youwere hired to be the principal of the school. Your children's attendance at the school was not a condition of your employment. It's great that one of the benefits of your employment was the opportunity for your children to attend the school tuition-free. You tried it, and it doesn't seem to be working out. So make the adjustments that seem best for your child, regardless of what anyone else thinks. And do your job well as principal by helping the school improve it's curriculum. They are two completely separate roles, completely distinct from each other. If other people confuse them, it is their mistake, not yours.

 

I'm just wondering if similar accomodations would be made for any other student, if the parents requested it? Could other students attend just for half a day and be homeschooled for half a day? Or could other students attend class for the morning and work independently in the library for the afternoon? If not, I'm thinking that maybe you are blurring the lines of your job and your home life. Maybe then, you would need to consider whether you can go back to full-time homeschooling for your son (I truly don't know if this is possible, as I don't know what your dh's job/work life is like), or if your son could at least go home or somewhere off-site to do his independent work, as it does seem like a little bit of a double standard to allow the principal's son to be working on his own on the school grounds, if none of the other students would be allowed to have this arrangement if there parents' requested it, kwim? Or perhaps you could talk with his teacher and see if adjustments could be made to help with your son's sensory issues so that he could stay in the classroom, but be doing work that benefits him more than what he is currently doing.

 

Good luck with your decision.

[JudoMom]

None of the new info changes my opinion. It sounds to me like you're trying to justify what imo is a bad decision.

 

:iagree:

[Scuff]

I would not talk at all about the curricula being a problem. I would mention that the transition to full time school you thought would just happen...needs a bit of time due to his issues. How much he loves school, and how the teacher sees him doing the morning and then coming to your office for the rest. The only problem I see with this, is will they see this taking away from your job?? If money wasn't an issue, an afternoon nanny type person who could come get him and bring him back might work out. I would go into it with the talk of...as his issues calm, next year, we'd like to see if we can add a class or two back....

I know that Classical Conversations has a great collection of memory work, and if you put a cycle into it....between Cycle 1 and 2...it'd be a 4 year cycle and add some spice to any curriculum. (Or for ease...leave it as it is. ) Anyway, very cost effective...low effort...lots of material to help hang that info on...Just a thought...Their whole emphasis is a stick in the sand:-) is all you need...

Carrie:-)

 

This is along the lines of what I was thinking. You have a child who haas gone from hsing to moving half way around the world and being thrown into full-time school. I din't think anyone would doubt this would take adjustment.

 

How does your school handle special needs kids? The ps I went to hqd "resource room" for kids who needed a little extra help. It was pretty much useless for my sisters, but something like this could help him and be seen as meeting a need insteqd of special treatment. Maybe institute an indeependant study program. Or take the problem to the teachers you work with for suggestions on how to handle ths for the good of and future of all students. Your son can't be the only one n the entire sxhool who needs something a little different. this could be one of the first changed you impliment towards specializing education to the child. I'd look at from this point of view, implikenting something within the school to benefit all. Then it's not special privilage, but needed chqnge.

[Mom0012]

I would do whatever I felt was best for my child. However, I think I would just completely pull this child from school if I had to in an effort not to jeopardize my career. I think seeing your child in the library each afternoon will be a constant reminder to others of your choice and possibly cause ill will. Is homeschooling even an option if your child cannot work in the library in the afternoons? How did you homeschool in the past?

 

Lisa

[FO4UR]

So I could pull this off by blaming it entirely on Kyle's special needs and not bring up the issues I have with their curriculum. Also, I don't want to sacrifice the best education I could give him while I help this school bring their curriculum up to par. If I wasn't willing to do it before then I why am I willing to do it now? Because I work here? Where do my loyalties lie? Where SHOULD they lie? That is what I am struggling with right now.

 

 

 

I think it will be obvious that you don't want him using their curric....you are changing it afterall.

 

Still, his special needs do warrant a change imho. Can you make that change for other students who might be in his situation?

 

Is an independant study class a possibility for a group of kids? That might be one way to work with him (and maybe others who are advanced/struggling/have similar special needs).

[Avila]

Heather, I know you don't like what we are saying, but you did ask the question. None of this is unsolicited. If you are getting this reaction from a bunch of homeschoolers who completely sympathize with you and who have supported you before, what kind of reaction will you get from school parents who don't know you and who are only thinking about their own children here?

 

Surely you must have thought about these issues before you moved to Malaysia. I can see from your posts that you take your job seriously, and I am sure you discussed with DH the transition between homeschooling and this school and what kinds of problems there might be and what you would do. Did you decide to give it time? Maybe afterschool? The issues with the school that you keep bringing up are such common school issues that I KNOW as an educator and as a mom, you had to have known about them and thought about them, and now that you are there, something has changed and you are reacting emotionally to them instead of doing whatever it was that you decided to do before you left the country. In the school you were at, your kids were not enrolled and those two facets of your life were completely separate. They aren't now. You had friends and family and so many other options if one thing didn't work. Are you prepared to deal with anger of the people around you over this? Maybe even being asked to leave your job over this? Move back to the US? Hopefully none of this will happen, but it happens at private schools here all the time, sometimes over less.

 

I know this a hard thing, to give up control, when as principal, you feel like you should have more of it. But that isn't how a school works, and it will have repercussions, which is all I think most of us are hoping you are prepared to deal with. Better to hear them here from us than after you pull him out and be blindsided by them.

 

I really do wish you peace and a good outcome here, that takes into account the needs of your child and your responsibility to the school.

Edited September 4, 2009 by Asenik

[BamaTanya]

I have been a ps teacher in a dangerous area. I have special needs children. My dc have gone to the same ps where dh is a guidance counselor. I have taught the principal's children in a Christian school. I know how you feel from many angles.

 

When ds with special needs was in a Christian school, we paid boo-koodles of $$$ for the resource room. The teacher was AMAZING. I would gladly go back to work and hand her my paycheck if she were still teaching my ds (she had to quit because of her ailing dh). He spent approx half the school day with her. I think she had a total of 8 students who came and went for specific subject needs. She did not assign homework because she knew they had attention issues. She knew they needed to run and play after school. Or build and invent and create.

 

I think the only way, if you are TRULY going to have it both ways, is to hire a teacher to do this for any student who needs it. Set it up like an ACE (independent study-kind) of schoolroom. Have a teacher who monitors and assigns and assists.

 

Ds's resource room teacher had carpet (for noise) and study carrels. Headphones so students could block out whatever was bothering them. Classical music. Their own stuffed animals and decorations in their carrels. Pillows/throws so they could make themselves comfortable. Independent tasks. Lots of ways to calm over-sensitive children.

 

I don't think independent study without a specific teacher will work.

 

I know you're a mom first. But not at work. If you have to leave to take care of your child, that's one thing. But your child cannot change the school. Your child may be the inspiration to provide other offerings for the others.

 

JMPO

:grouphug:

[specialmama]

:iagree:with everything said here. Hugs to you, Heather. :grouphug:

 

Heather, I know you don't like what we are saying, but you did ask the question. None of this is unsolicited. If you are getting this reaction from a bunch of homeschoolers who completely sympathize with you and who have supported you before, what kind of reaction will you get from school parents who don't know you and who are only thinking about their own children here?

 

Surely you must have thought about these issues before you moved to Malaysia. I can see from your posts that you take your job seriously, and I am sure you discussed with DH the transition between homeschooling and this school and what kinds of problems there might be and what you would do. Did you decide to give it time? Maybe afterschool? The issues with the school that you keep bringing up are such common school issues that I KNOW as an educator and as a mom, you had to have known about them and thought about them, and now that you are there, something has changed and you are reacting emotionally to them instead of doing whatever it was that you decided to do before you left the country. In the school you were at, your kids were not enrolled and those two facets of your life were completely separate. They aren't now. You had friends and family and so many other options if one thing didn't work. Are you prepared to deal with anger of the people around you over this? Maybe even being asked to leave your job over this? Move back to the US? Hopefully none of this will happen, but it happens at private schools here all the time, sometimes over less.

 

I know this a hard thing, to give up control, when as principal, you feel like you should have more of it. But that isn't how a school works, and it will have repercussions, which is all I think most of us are hoping you are prepared to deal with. Better to hear them here from us than after you pull him out and be blindsided by them.

 

I really do wish you peace and a good outcome here, that takes into account the needs of your child and your responsibility to the school.

[Heather in Neverland]

Dh and I have been talking about this A LOT over the last two days. We are still not entirely sure what we are going to do but we have been able to calm down emotionally speaking and what we realized is that we are mixing two separate issues: 1. issues with their curriculum and 2. Kyle's special needs.

 

If it were ONLY issues with the curriculum we would not pull Kyle. I would find ways to work around it.

 

We made a big mistake in assuming Kyle had sufficiently overcome his obstacles and would be able to survive in a classroom setting all day. We thought he had gotten "much better" when in reality he just hasn't been in a setting where his issues caused a major problem. He HAS gotten better but not enough.

 

You would have to know a lot about severe sensory integration dysfunction to understand. But the fact that Kyle can make it through half a day of a classroom setting is a huge improvement. But we see him every day at lunch and he is mentally exhausted! After almost 4 hours of using every resource he has to block out the overwhelming sensory input and concentrate, he is SPENT. He needs quiet, alone time to recharge. We should have phased him into this situation instead of throwing him in the deep end and hoping he could swim. It is OUR mistake, not the school's.

 

Having said that, I am NOT upset that many of you think I should just suck it up and deal with it. I HAVE considered that and it is pretty much what we have been doing since school started on August 11th. And to answer some of your questions:

 

- I'd rather NOT make parents upset but YES I am willing to do that if it is what is best for my child.

 

- I won't get fired. For one, I have a two year contract so unless I do something awful like steal from the school or sleep with a student, I will be fine. Also, homeschooling is an option and that was made clear from the start. We have a DLRC (distance learning resource center) that caters to homeschooling families in the community or others who are too far away to attend and want to take online courses instead. So we HAVE options.

 

-Even if I WOULD get fired for doing this, if I thought it was best for my child I would risk it. My children are more important than a job. I love my job but I love my kids more.

 

- I am good at what I do. I will continue to provide the best education I can for the students in my school. I will continue to work for better curriculum and getting teachers what they need to be successful regardless of what my son is doing and I would hope mature, intelligent adults would notice and appreciate that.

 

-Most parents who send their kids to this school do not want to homeschool anyways so I doubt they would fight to do the same thing. If they get upset because my child has special needs and has to do something different for his education that is THEIR problem not MINE. Maybe they need to be more compassionate and worry about their own family and stop worrying about what I do with mine.

 

- We DO accommodate special needs. We have two children who are autistic and they each have an educational assistant who comes to class with them and helps them full time so they can have that experience.

 

-The idea would be to help Kyle eventually get to a point to where he COULD manage an entire day of a classroom setting. But going from none to 8 hours was too much to ask and it is my fault.

 

-The real issue will be WHERE he does his afternoon classes. Will it be on campus? Or at home? If it is on campus will other kids be mad? I doubt it. What kids want to go sit by themselves for 3 hours and do lessons if that is not what they are use to? If it is at home we will either have to hire someone to be here with Kyle or my husband will have to go part-time, both of which we are willing to do.

 

We have talked to Kyle about it and it is what he wants as well. I asked him what he would say if/when his classmates ask why he isn't there in the afternoons. He said "I'll tell them that I homeschool in the afternoon." And I asked him what if they want to know why you do that? He said "Because I want to. It's really none of their business."

 

Maybe I am just used to swimming upstream so the idea of people not liking my decision doesn't bother me? It seems that most things we do, like homeschool, adopt a child, move to the other side of the world, etc., seem to upset people so we are used to it. I am going to speak with director and the head of special services on Monday and see what we come up with. They may even have ideas I haven't thought of.

 

Truthfully, I really want to get my kids settled with what they need so I CAN focus on doing what I came here for.

[amy g.]

I understand what you mean about his just being in a an appropriate situation where his special needs are not noticeable.

 

My older kids take homeschool classes 2 days a week. My oldest will put in the time and effort to make 100s in college level classes. Her teachers think I'm crazy when I talk to them about her learning difficulties.

 

However, she could not AT ALL handle more than a couple of classes a day. She would be overwhelmed, and revert to many of the behaviors she has "outgrown".

 

If i were in your situation, I would absolutely have him go to school part time.

[Colleen]

Heather, I wish you well in whatever decision you make. I get the impression you're a bit defensive in response to some of the replies here (including mine). Rest assured no one is saying you're not good at what you do ~ either as a mother or in the professional sense. For my part, I was responding what you shared in your original post, in which you said nothing about challenges your son is having. You simply admitted that you like to be in control, and went on to note that you don't like the grading, assignments, or material. You also gave the impression your son is doing fine. Everything you're sharing now is quite different, of course.

I am going to speak with director and the head of special services on Monday and see what we come up with. They may even have ideas I haven't thought of.

I think that's a splendid idea and I encourage you to be open to their suggestions.

 

Best to you!

[Merry]

it doesn't sound to me like you're a control freak. You sound like a mother who wants to provide a comfortable educational situation for her special needs son whether it be homeschool or private school.

[abbeyej]

My mother has had the same experience with part-time students, Laura. My younger sister was a part-time student (formerly home schooled, then home schooled half time and in a classical Christian school half time), and after a few years my mom began teaching at that same school. The overwhelming majority of students in the school are full time, but each year there have been a couple of middle or high school students who are home schooled and attend the school for only a few classes.

 

As Mom points out, it *sounds* like the best of both worlds. But in reality, those kids (even the very popular ones) are never totally integrated into the social scene at school. The kids who are there full time *always* see them as the outsiders, and that can be really, really tough. Even when other kids make an effort to include them (and most of the kids at the school are good kids and not intent on being exclusionary, etc), the fact that they just aren't a part of everything really keeps them on the outside.

 

And yes, working around the school schedule makes home schooling tougher, though in this case, that doesn't sound like it would be an issue.

 

Heather, I wouldn't do it. Not in this case. At most, I might ask for him to be excused from *one* class per day. Perhaps choose the one where the homework is most overwhelming or inappropriate, or where you could make the biggest difference in teaching him at home. But I wouldn't pull him out for more than one class per day. I think you could do *that* without really offending anyone or having anyone gasp in horror that the principal has no confidence in her school... You could sneak it under the radar. And one class a day is less likely to have a social impact on your son.

 

But I wouldn't do more than that.

[talexand]

I have only read some of the replies but I wanted to chime in because this is exactly what we do. THe kids go to school in the morning and I pick them them up for homeschool after lunch/recess. All of their friends are at school. They are fully integrated, in fact we are one of the involved families that the teachers count on. This is a fairly small school so everybody knows everybody. Since the kids are there for recess and lunch/recess they get most of the play time. They get half of the academics and I make it easy for the teacher. I just adjust my homeschool to give them what they are missing schedule-wise and also what is lacking the school's academics. I don't expect or ask for any adjustment from the teacher although they do get additional accomodations because they are ahead of their grade.

 

This works very well for us and its has had no effect on our place in the community. I do have to go out of the way if a dc wants to invite a child over after school since we aren't normally there after school but thats no problem. And we have to return if they want to do an afterschool club. In fact our school is so friendly to us that if one of the kids wants to return for an assembly or something special in the afternoon and we only have an hour to get home, do some homeschool, and come back, they let us use an empty classroom for homeschooling to save the trip.

 

One teacher wasn't sure at first but I had ds bring in some samples of his work and when she realized that he is doing very high quality work at home instead of going home and slacking, she became one of our biggest proponents. She still doesn't believe in homeschooling but she considers us a very successful exception to that rule, lol.

 

I hope you find the solution that works for you. Feel free to pm me if you want to hear more about our situation.

 

Terry

[Paz]

Heather, My dd has sensory issues so I can understand where you are coming from. It is not just that is it difficult or uncomfortable for them but at a certain point there is just too much sensory information to take in and they shut down. Now that you have explained the situation further, my opinion would be to definitely let him do the 1/2 day. It doesn't really matter what people think. If they are upset because a child with special needs requires a different type of program then I agree that is their problem. My first priority, would be to my children and their mental and intellectual health. I know that is yours, as well. The issue is really not about how good the school is or what curriculum they are using but that your child has sensory issues and it is not possible for him to make it through a day of school in a classroom setting. It sounds like you have a clear understanding of that also.

[specialmama]

Yes, it makes more sense now. :001_smile: I also understand sensory integration, as my son has severe autism. I think the fact that you've calmed down and rationalized this through, it does seem more feasable/feasible? (can't spell today!) Thank you for explaining it more. I also agree that meeting with the director of special needs is a very smart thing to do. You can totally balance all of this and have the best of both worlds. Meeting his needs, as other special kids' needs are met, can only work in everyone's favour.

[Audrey]

Well, if you don't want to stay there, go ahead and do it. It's career suicide, though. They may say "you have great job security" NOW when you're doing things they like, but a slap-in-the-face move like that will likely have them viewing you in an entirely different light. I wouldn't count on the love-fest continuing after that.

 

Up to you, though.

[Paz]

But she already spoke with them ahead of time about her kids maybe homeschooling and they were fine with that. I don't think her job is in jeopardy and if they are that way about her doing what is best for her child, then maybe she doesn't want to work for them anyway.

[Christy B]

Please tell me if you think this is a bad idea.

 

So when I take off my professional hat and put on my mommy hat, I want to pull my kids out (well, at least my 6th grader). I don't like the way the teacher grades, the types of assignments they do, the topics they are studying, etc. The teacher is a nice guy and Kyle likes him. Kyle also likes seeing his friends, lunch, recess, etc.

 

Has anyone tried something like this?

 

 

If it were ONLY issues with the curriculum we would not pull Kyle. I would find ways to work around it.

 

Maybe I am just used to swimming upstream so the idea of people not liking my decision doesn't bother me? It seems that most things we do, like homeschool, adopt a child, move to the other side of the world, etc., seem to upset people so we are used to it. I am going to speak with director and the head of special services on Monday and see what we come up with. They may even have ideas I haven't thought of.

 

Truthfully, I really want to get my kids settled with what they need so I CAN focus on doing what I came here for.

 

:confused: Wow, some really conflicting ideas here . . .

 

First, you want to know if anyone thinks this is a bad idea, then you want to make sure it's understood that you're so used to swimming upstream, you really don't care what people think.

 

Initially, you give the impression that everything is peachy with your son except the curriculum -- the grades, the assignments, the topics. No mention of the other host of issues until much later in the discussion.

 

It's really hard to respond to your request to tell you if it's a bad idea, when you dismiss every concern, and top it off by saying you don't care what people think. It makes one question why, then, you asked for opinions.

 

I realize sometimes the process of thinking through the issue "out loud", or in this case in black and white, helps narrow and define a concern. I do that plenty on the boards, especially when I'm having trouble articulating or even identifying something that I'm not sure about.

 

I've realized something else: I often come here and post in order to get validation for a decision I want to make. I'm not a terribly secure person. I'm also have control issues. I don't really want opinions: I want validation, and affirmation. And sometimes the best answers I get are the ones that don't give me what I want.

 

I recently posted on the high school board that I wanted permission to not like/use Omnibus with my high schooler. What I *really* wanted was a lot of responses saying that Omnibus was a horrible idea for my child, and naturally I should drop it without a second thought. And I did get a couple of responses which assured me that, certainly, I could choose what I wanted, that I knew my child best, and there were plenty of valid choices out there. I also had a couple of folks who told me that my planning was the problem, not the materials, and that I wasn't being realistic. One dear soul also pointed out that if my dd was having trouble learning to analyze material and then articulate her opinions, maybe we needed to follow through on a program that actually teaches students to analyze material and articulate their opinions.

 

The answer that I needed to hear was not the answer that I wanted to hear. That's the way it works sometimes. After carefully pondering the various replies, I realized that I needed to insist that my child do the hard work; that the original course I had chosen for her, while incredibly challenging, was ultimately for her good.

 

So. Although you don't care what people think, you've asked for opinions. Here's mine:

 

I think you chose a course for your son. He has not even been in school for a month. You say that you're amazed at his progress; why assume that he will fail at this point? NOT EVEN A MONTH. Any student transitioning from homeschool to traditional school needs time to adjust. I don't see how he will adjust if he is neither a student nor a homeschooler. Address his specific needs, certainly -- the way you would for any other full time student in the school.

 

I think you chose a course for yourself. Whether you are willing to acknowledge it or not, being a principal of a school carries with it a requirement for loyalty to that school. Whether the other administration is saying it aloud or not, they are (or imo, should be) expecting that loyalty. You have already expressed your disdain for the entire curriculum; tough. You knew the curriculum -- arguably better than any other parent -- the day you enrolled your son in the school.

 

If I'm not mistaken, you have another child in this school. Are you prepared to come up with a laundry list of justifications if this child decides that she/he wants to get out of class for half-days, too?

 

The idea of pulling your son, even from a portion of his classes, opens a can of worms that I think you will regret, soon, and for a long time after.

[Heather in Neverland]

:confused: Wow, some really conflicting ideas here . . .

 

First, you want to know if anyone thinks this is a bad idea, then you want to make sure it's understood that you're so used to swimming upstream, you really don't care what people think.

 

Initially, you give the impression that everything is peachy with your son except the curriculum -- the grades, the assignments, the topics. No mention of the other host of issues until much later in the discussion.

 

It's really hard to respond to your request to tell you if it's a bad idea, when you dismiss every concern, and top it off by saying you don't care what people think. It makes one question why, then, you asked for opinions.

 

I realize sometimes the process of thinking through the issue "out loud", or in this case in black and white, helps narrow and define a concern. I do that plenty on the boards, especially when I'm having trouble articulating or even identifying something that I'm not sure about.

 

I've realized something else: I often come here and post in order to get validation for a decision I want to make. I'm not a terribly secure person. I'm also have control issues. I don't really want opinions: I want validation, and affirmation. And sometimes the best answers I get are the ones that don't give me what I want.

 

I recently posted on the high school board that I wanted permission to not like/use Omnibus with my high schooler. What I *really* wanted was a lot of responses saying that Omnibus was a horrible idea for my child, and naturally I should drop it without a second thought. And I did get a couple of responses which assured me that, certainly, I could choose what I wanted, that I knew my child best, and there were plenty of valid choices out there. I also had a couple of folks who told me that my planning was the problem, not the materials, and that I wasn't being realistic. One dear soul also pointed out that if my dd was having trouble learning to analyze material and then articulate her opinions, maybe we needed to follow through on a program that actually teaches students to analyze material and articulate their opinions.

 

The answer that I needed to hear was not the answer that I wanted to hear. That's the way it works sometimes. After carefully pondering the various replies, I realized that I needed to insist that my child do the hard work; that the original course I had chosen for her, while incredibly challenging, was ultimately for her good.

 

So. Although you don't care what people think, you've asked for opinions. Here's mine:

 

I think you chose a course for your son. He has not even been in school for a month. You say that you're amazed at his progress; why assume that he will fail at this point? NOT EVEN A MONTH. Any student transitioning from homeschool to traditional school needs time to adjust. I don't see how he will adjust if he is neither a student nor a homeschooler. Address his specific needs, certainly -- the way you would for any other full time student in the school.

 

I think you chose a course for yourself. Whether you are willing to acknowledge it or not, being a principal of a school carries with it a requirement for loyalty to that school. Whether the other administration is saying it aloud or not, they are (or imo, should be) expecting that loyalty. You have already expressed your disdain for the entire curriculum; tough. You knew the curriculum -- arguably better than any other parent -- the day you enrolled your son in the school.

 

If I'm not mistaken, you have another child in this school. Are you prepared to come up with a laundry list of justifications if this child decides that she/he wants to get out of class for half-days, too?

 

The idea of pulling your son, even from a portion of his classes, opens a can of worms that I think you will regret, soon, and for a long time after.

 

 

When I implied that I don't care what people think I wasn't talking about you or the pther posters here. I was referencing those IRL at school who might get mad at me for trying to do what is best for my son.

 

Yes, I was emotional at first when I posted. It has been a rough month with my son. He is trying hard and doing better but not great. I didn't bring up his sensory issues at first because, to be honest, I am not one of those moms who walks areound telling everyone about her son's issues and expecting people to jump through hoops for her. I am only doing it now because we have come to that point of desperation.

 

Only a month? How long must my son be miserable before I do something about it?

 

I AM loyal to the school. I work tons of hours and do my absolute best for them and they see that. Loyalty does NOT mean sacrificing my son on their altar, though. And if it does mean that to them then I am out of here. And I have made it clear that I am willing to lose my job over this although I know that won't happen. No job is worth that.

 

I wasn't really looking for everyone to confirm a decision (that I had not even made yet). I was really hoping to hear from people who have tried it or thought about trying something similar and how it worked. There are lots of moms on here who do part-time homeschooling so I didn't think it was that far fetched.

 

I do truly appreciate all input whether I agree with it or not.

[Christy B]

The teacher is a nice guy and Kyle likes him. Kyle also likes seeing his friends, lunch, recess, etc. So he doesn't want to be pulled out.

 

Only a month? How long must my son be miserable before I do something about it?

 

 

 

And I would gently and respectfully ask -- reminding you that your initial, gut reaction to this situation is in bold print in your original title to this thread --

 

Is Kyle miserable?

 

Or are you miserable because you are no longer in control of his education?