More funny things kids say ...

[dirty ethel rackham]

I just love how kids point out the idiosyncrasies of our language. Heard in the car on the way home from an afternoon hike... "What are furniture liquidators? How can you turn furniture into liquid?"

 

That is all.

[Desert Rat]

Little man is saying "no" to every single thing big brother is saying. Every. Single. Thing.

Big brother says, "Stop being contrary!"

Little man says, "I'm not being contrary. You're being contrary!"

 

I didn't know whether to laugh or pull my hair. The argument continues.....

[Earth Angel_79]

My son asked what I was doing with some cucumbers on my counter the other day, to which I replied, "I'm making pickles." He gasped "You're making pimples!"

[AlmiraGulch]

The other night my 6 year old daughter yelled out "Mom! My butt's stuck between the bed and the table!" To which I replied "Well, move." And she said "I can't! Do you not understand what 'my butt's stuck' means?" She wasn't talking back...she was serious!!!

 

When I finished laughing, I discovered that I did, in fact, have to move the bedside table to help her get out of her little predicament.

[LaxMom]

Little man is saying "no" to every single thing big brother is saying. Every. Single. Thing.

Big brother says, "Stop being contrary!"

Little man says, "I'm not being contrary. You're being contrary!"

 

I didn't know whether to laugh or pull my hair. The argument continues.....

 

I had one like that, in a three-way between me, FIL and my then 3 year old... my FIL had told her something on the phone and I admonished him, half laughing, not to say things like that, she's very literal, to which the passing child commented "I'm not literal, I'm Bailey!"

 

Nothing like illustrating your point. :lol:

[Mom-ninja.]

The other night my 6 year old daughter yelled out "Mom! My butt's stuck between the bed and the table!" To which I replied "Well, move." And she said "I can't! Do you not understand what 'my butt's stuck' means?" She wasn't talking back...she was serious!!!

 

When I finished laughing, I discovered that I did, in fact, have to move the bedside table to help her get out of her little predicament.

 

 

:lol: Now, that's funny.

[i.love.lucy]

My son asked his father tonight "Daddy, when will I get fur under my arms?"

[bearnpurple]

The other night my 6 year old daughter yelled out "Mom! My butt's stuck between the bed and the table!" To which I replied "Well, move." And she said "I can't! Do you not understand what 'my butt's stuck' means?" She wasn't talking back...she was serious!!!

 

When I finished laughing, I discovered that I did, in fact, have to move the bedside table to help her get out of her little predicament.

 

 

 

Too cute!!

 

My dd(age 4) asked that I put a "hotdog" in her hair. When I asked "Hotdog?" She replied "Like when I was in my recital". I then laughed and asked "You mean a bun in your hair?" and she nodded. My husband was so tickled he brought the hotdog buns in the bathroom and asked how we were going to keep them in her hair......HA!:lol:

[newlifemom]

Recently, after playing in the dirt and sand I gave my dd 3 a quick bath. I went to put on her diaper and she said, "not yet mommy I still have sand in my butt." (and she did):001_smile:

[Ruby]

My six year old son: while driving down the off ramp of the freeway we pull up to the stop light. My son from the back seat says "Ahhhhh look at all the blind people." That would be the orange jumpsuit road side crew picking up trash with their little pokey sticks. I just about wet my pants. He was so sincere. :lol: Ruby

[flyingmommy]

During a conversation a few years ago, someone made the comment "actions speak louder than words." My little one, about 5 then, turned to me and asked, "Who's Andrew?"

 

"What are you talking about? I don't know anyone named Andrew."

 

"You said Andrew speaks louder than birds. Who's Andrew?"

 

Jeannie

[Vida Winter]

Couple from this weekend:

 

9yo dd to 5yodd (9yo had a friend staying overnight last night): "You can't be on a sleepover - You LIVE here!"

 

 

 

5yo dd at church this morning: During the passing of the peace she was down on the floor under the pew. "I don't want anyone to PEACE me!"

[ladydusk]

This summer my 3 year old asked me to turn his shirt "outside out" for him. I like that.

[AlmiraGulch]

This summer my 3 year old asked me to turn his shirt "outside out" for him. I like that.

 

I'm so stealing that! :D

[Aggie]

One of the funniest ones I've ever heard is from a man I was sitting next to on a flight home.

 

His family was getting ready to move from San Diego to Norfolk. His 5yodd, Sandy, asked if their new home would be Sandy Norfolk.:lol::lol: I giggle at that every time someone mentions San Diego and the little girl who thought she lived in Eggo. :)

 

My then 3-4?yods was looking for Christmas trees at the tree farm when he came upon a stump. He yelled, "Look! This one is growing upside down!":D

 

We had recently planted our garden when then 3-4yodd wanted something right. now. I told her that she was being impatient. To which she replied, "I'm NOT a flower!" We had planted impatiens.:)

 

These kinds of threads are so great!

[Nicoleab2]

Very funny!

My kids are trying hard to study, so I try to stifle a laugh. I couldn't and just bust out laughing! I had to share it with my kiddos. We are now taking a break and reading all these funny sayings. My dd15 and ds13 are remembering their funny sayings that we have kept alive for years! Great stuff. Maybe this is some of the glue that holds families together!?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The other night my 6 year old daughter yelled out "Mom! My butt's stuck between the bed and the table!" To which I replied "Well, move." And she said "I can't! Do you not understand what 'my butt's stuck' means?" She wasn't talking back...she was serious!!!

 

When I finished laughing, I discovered that I did, in fact, have to move the bedside table to help her get out of her little predicament.

[*********]

My ds3 has as 'thing' for vacuums. He just loves them. (Strange, I know.)

 

Dh has recently gotten all the boys interested in the show 'Survivor Man'. We don't have cable, but we can see the episodes on-line.

 

Yesterday, before bed, dh was getting ready to watch an episode with the boys. Ds 3 says 'Maybe Survivor Man will have a vacuum!' The idea clearly was quite exciting to him. :D

 

Dh turns to me and says 'I wonder if that exact sentence has ever been said before by anyone?' :001_smile:

[MariannNOVA]

dd10 was the teacher and she asked the name of the First President of the United States.......:patriot:

 

DS8 blurts out in all seriousness: George Clooney! :lol:

 

And, in all honestly, I have no idea how he knows the name George Clooney -- we are truly almost television-free.

[hornblower]

You know the FBI warning that scrolls on the screen ahead of DVD's and videos?

 

Well, we live in Canada, don't hear the word FBI often, don't watch tv & I guess it never came up or if it did, she didn't link the pronounciation with the letters.

 

Instead dd at some tender age decided that the letters spelled "Phoebe" (we had an elderly great aunt Phoebe so she knew the name) & thus it stayed in her brain.

 

We didn't realize this until she was about 11. I asked her to hold off on starting the movie until I got something & she cheerfully yelled out "It's not started yet, it's just the Phoebe Warning!"

[*********]

You know the FBI warning that scrolls on the screen ahead of DVD's and videos?

 

Well, we live in Canada, don't hear the word FBI often, don't watch tv & I guess it never came up or if it did, she didn't link the pronounciation with the letters.

 

Instead dd at some tender age decided that the letters spelled "Phoebe" (we had an elderly great aunt Phoebe so she knew the name) & thus it stayed in her brain.

 

We didn't realize this until she was about 11. I asked her to hold off on starting the movie until I got something & she cheerfully yelled out "It's not started yet, it's just the Phoebe Warning!"

 

Oh! *Gasp* Oh, THAT is just too cute.

[ElizabethB]

These are great!

 

My favorite from our children is "We love you-chother," both of my children said it, my 4 year old still will say it on occasion.

 

My daughter also said "Don't fall me" for don't push me for a while, I thought that was interesting.

[mrsrevmeg]

Earlier today my six year old said "If you're wondering I did not just throw up in my mouth and swallow it down."

[Mom-ninja.]

I remember a few.

 

When my ds was about 3 we had a friend living in Miami. We would visit him every now and then. As we were planning a trip to visit Miami, someone asked me where we were going. I told them Miami. Ds said, "No no! We're going to Daddy's Ami." Apparently, when DH said we were going to Miami....ds really thought it was Daddy's Ami. :lol:

 

My neighbor's cat had died. They dug a grave for it in the back yard. Their little 4 year asked wht the hole was for. They told her they were going to bury the cat. Without a beat little girl asked, "Oh, are you going to try and grow more cats?"

[Photo Ninja]

We were BBQing hamburgers and my niece (3 yo) said that all she wanted on her hamburger was the bun, mustard and cheese and no meat. She said she doesn't like meat. Then she asked if she could have a hot dog instead, because hot dogs aren't meat. (Nah, nobody told her...)

[runamuk]

I was on the phone with my sister a few years ago, talking about doing some sale shopping. I had mentioned that I wanted to buy some things for my kids for the following year and used the phrase "I'd really like to buy ahead for the kids this year." My dd, then 3, said, "But Mom, we already have heads!" :D

[FunnyFarmMom]

I was making lunch for my little one when she was 3 and she was very insistent that her sandwich be cut into pennies. ?????? Ahhh - she was satisfied with her sandwich cut into 4 pieces. (Quarters) :lol::lol::lol:

[bdroberts1998]

I just love this thread. Here is mine.

Today I was going through the kids blankets. I told my dd8 that hers had holes in it and it was time to throw it away. She replied, " Mom don't throw it away, Austin can use it. His feet are still young". I got so tickled at her. I know she meant that he was short and his feet would not meet up with the holes in the blanket. After that I just couldn't through it away.

[SapphireStitch]

Earlier today my six year old said "If you're wondering I did not just throw up in my mouth and swallow it down."

 

Yikes! If one of mine said that I'd be stalking him with a bucket for several hours. That sounds like a sick tummy in denial. :001_smile:

[jonesloonybin]

I have one from Friday. We were hosting our first Great Books study/discussion. There were other teens/families present. We are right in the middle of a good discussion when my 6 year old dd (who had been playing with playmobil on the floor next to us) jumps up and says "Can you please pause this while I go to the bathroom?". It was too cute. So we all waited until she was done and then finished our talk. :lol:

[clarkacademy]

To my 5 year old if it was lastnight it was lastago if it was any longer then it was 3 weeks ago. No time concept none!

[Earth Angel_79]

When my ds was about 3 we had a friend living in Miami. We would visit him every now and then. As we were planning a trip to visit Miami, someone asked me where we were going. I told them Miami. Ds said, "No no! We're going to Daddy's Ami." Apparently, when DH said we were going to Miami....ds really thought it was Daddy's Ami. :lol:

 

These are making my eyes water (or it could be just my horrible sinuses)...

My oldest DS did this almost exact same thing in reference to Miami. My DH has some video game that they watch him play and one of the cities the car can drive in is Miami. My DH asked DS if he wanted to go driving in Istanbul, Miami, Paris, etc. as he was toggling through the choices. DS said no, no go back to your Ami.

 

I thought of a couple more to share. Recently, we had a movie night with Chitty, Chitty, Bang Bang. None of us had ever seen it before (and just a note of caution to anyone who hasn't seen it...that is like the BenHur of 1960's children movies -- YIKES). Anyway, the next day my 2 sons were begging to watch it and my younger son, who is a little hard to understand, said "Iwanna watz S**ty, S**ty Bang, Bang." My older DS (the articulate one) said "No, no it is called Chatty, Chatty Boom, Boom." Later I heard them still struggling with it (while still begging to watch it) and heard DS1 call it "Chicka, Chicka Boom Boom." Good literature does wear off you know.

 

And another, from about 2 years ago. We were in a town that had a statue of a Revolutionary Soldier in the middle of the town's intersection. Small town...not sure any of you have ever been to a town that has this, but basically you have to drive around it and traffic flows only one direction. It's kinda like National Lampoon's Vacation..."Look kids, it's Big Ben."

Back to our story, as we drove past it my oldest DS (about 3 1/2 at the time) asked what the man had in his hands. I explained it was a gun, like what his grandpa used for hunting. To which my son replied, "Oh. Well, he must be hunting cars." :lol:

[RoughCollie]

When the boys were 3 or 4 years old, I decided to plant a container vegetable garden. I mixed potting soil, sterilized cow manure, and other stuff together, and explained what each bag contained. Then we planted the seeds.

 

I was very anxious about whether anything we planted would grow because I'd never planted anything before. DS1 was so excited that I was sure he'd become a farmer and a vegetable eater. We each checked on those containers many times a day.

 

Finally, a sprout came up. I was so excited. I ran to get DS1 to show him that the seeds worked.

 

He was astonished and disappointed that I was so happy about a green sprig. He'd expected to see a baby cow sprouting, since we "planted" cow manure.

[Imprimis]

When I was pregnant with ds, I was sent to a perinatal specialist for a level 2 ultrasound. Dh and dd1, who was not yet 3 at the time, came with me.

 

During the ultrasound, I noticed dd had an expression on her face that appeared to be a mix of bewilderment and concern as she watched the monitor. The perinatal doctor, after assuring dh and I that everything looked fine, asked if we'd like to know what we were having. We did....and she said, "It looks like a boy to me." Well, dd immediately cried out, "It looks like a monster to me!" :lol:

 

We then realized we had told her before the ultrasound that she would get to "see" the baby on the screen, so, of course, she assumed she would see something that resembled a baby a bit more than the ultrasound image did.

[ChristusG]

I love threads like this! These are hilarious!!!

 

Last week my DD#1 (5 years old) informed me that she had to go poo poo. A few minutes later she came back into the room and said "My bottom tricked me! I only had to go pee pee!"

 

When DD#1 was 4 years old, we were talking about climbing trees. I told her that I used to climb trees. She said " I know. Back when you were Mimi's kid, right?"

 

Another from when DD#1 was 4 years old. She saw two boxes of tampons in our bathroom, each box was a different color. She asked why they were different colors. I explained that it was because they were different sizes. She comes back with "Why? Because some people have bigger booties?"

 

And finally, a few months ago DD#1 (5 years old) came walking into the room puffing out her chest. She said to my sister "Aunt Kim, see my boobies?" My sister replied and said that no, she did not see anything because there was nothing there. DD said "I know, that's why I have to exercise them....so they will get bigger."

 

DD #1 is just bursting with funny exclamations LOL!

[TXMomof4]

A few days ago my dd was talking about how tall my ds will be. He's very tall for his age and she said "You're probably going to be 6 ft. tall!" He was very indignant and explained that he will not! "I'm going to be a giant with 2 feet!"

 

That same day we were on our way to the store and he was being bothered by his sisters. I could see him getting angry and he burst out "My sisters are refrigerating me!" Translation: My sisters are frustrating me!

 

He keeps us laughing for sure!

[s.z.ichigo]

We live in a predominantly white area. When my daughter was 3 or so her favorite movie was Dr. Doolittle (the one with Eddie Murphy). One day at the bookstore she saw a black man about 20 feet away. I only hope he didn't hear her exclaim "Look, Mommy, a man just like Dr. Doolittle!"

[elegantlion]

Yesterday my ds and I were having a conversation about not falling into peer pressure. Somehow we got to sheep and I asked, "If your friends were all sheep and they jumped off a cliff would you follow?"

 

To which he replied, "Yes, it would be okay though I'd just land on a soft pile of sheep at the bottom." :svengo: