If a neighbor with four children has one child home sick with a high fever, do you...

[battlemaiden]

allow the other three at your house to play with your children?

 

This friend has a different philosophy about sick kids than me- I'm hyper-vigilant about not exposing other people to sickness, probably to an unnecessary level.

 

I'm wondering what your philosophy is. This is a good friend, but she is willy nilly about when her kids are sick.

 

Jo

[melissel]

As long as there are no stomach issues involved, it doesn't bother me too much. I just make sure to ask everyone to wash their hands often, particularly my own kids, and keep an eye on the drinking glasses!

[linders]

This happens rather frequently here. One of the 2 neighbor boys will come over and I'll ask where his brother is. "Oh, he was throwing up a lot so Mom said he couldn't come." So then I am the bad guy for saying, Sorry, my guys can't play today. Not sure what the other mom is thinking.

 

Not hyper-vigilance, just common sense.

[happyWImom]

No way! I am very aware of when my kids are sick & don't let them around other kids, and when anyone's kids I know are sick, even one we don't get together. Luckily, both of my good friends that we hang out with are of like mind. Better safe than sorry.

[Rebecca]

No. No! No...

:001_smile:

It is hard to be tactful with this one.

 

For our family- we know what happens when "one goes down."

It isn't pretty. It is pretty much like dominos around here and STRESSFUL. One child has asthma, etc.

 

Maybe when my kids are bigger???

 

I will say that this is my highest "level." I am very strict about germ protocol.

 

In this area, I try to protect and take care of my family as much as I can- and when I am nursing/pregnant- I can handle so much less... AND I have a DH around who will do round the clock sick duty!

 

I say, go with your gut! :001_smile:

 

Rebecca

[Tap]

It depends on what it is, and I usually call the mom first to make sure it is okay. One of the families my kids play with have two kids with diabetes so I know that Any illness for them can cause complications beyond just the sniffles.

 

If it is just a cold, I don't worry about it. Stomach bugs, particularly nasty bugs or flu symptoms...I definitely call first.

[dopeyfav]

It really depends on what the sickness is. I would definately stay clear of any flu-like symptoms. Anything else I would probably not be too concerned with.

 

Lots of hand washing goes a long way!

[WTMCassandra]

That would depend on a lot of things:

 

1. Is that other family known for caring about germs? Do they wash hands often? Is their house fairly clean? (Clutter is not an issue here.) Or are they known for passing cups from one person to another?

 

2. What are the ages of the children? If they are young, they are less likely to know and practice good hygiene. If they are older, it might be better.

 

3. How are my own children doing? Are they recovering from something themselves? Will they listen if I tell them not to hug the other child and to wash their hands often?

 

Now that I have big kids I don't worry so much if they are around another child whose sibling is sick, because I can warn them to keep their hands to themselves and take precautions. Also, they are not as likely to catch a sniffle from a toddler (we have dear friends with small children).

 

But, in your situation, with how many children you have (and the higher risk for the domino effect), I would probably pass.

[Tracey in TX]

Yes, unless it's flu-like symptoms or stomach/vomiting. Even then if the kids are outside, they're allowed to play. My philosophy is kids get sick, so why by hyper-vigilant (OP, liked your term :))? Why create misery over the possibility of being sick when you can guarantee a good time playing outside? fwiw, I've always taken this mentality. When my kiddos were a year old they played with friends even when someone didn't feel well.

 

Despite this lax attitude, my kids are seldom sick. We've had a nasty bug go through our family only twice. I think exposing them to the germs 'out there' has allowed immunities to build to help fight illness.

 

Now if the same lax attitude could be taken with migraines, I'd be a really happy camper!:D

[KJB]

Little babies get dehydrated so easily and can get so so sick quickly. Respiratory illnesses and stomach stuff scare the daylights out of me if I have a baby under the age of 1. And I do have a 6 month old right now, so everyone must come from a healthy family to enter our domain.:D

 

Otherwise, I'm pretty laid back about allowing other kids and their family germs to play with my tribe.

[Janna]

I am also hyper-vigilant about not exposing other people to sickness. If one kid in my family was sick, no, I wouldn't let my other kids go somewhere else - at least not without warning (iow, if a parent called and asked if one of mine could come over, I would explain the situation and allow them to recant or know that it's off my shoulders if their kid ends up being sick).

 

However, if a kid came over here from a sick family, chances are very high that I would allow it. My main reason is because I would feel hypocritical because I'm always telling my kids that "people are what matter." I feel like if I were to outcast a kid who wasn't showing signs of illness because his sibling was, that the poor kid would feel that way - outcast. Like he has leprosy or something. And in that situation, I feel like it's very similar to the "Good Samaritan" story, because I'm sure that mother with the sick kid(s) could use some help or a break, kwim?

 

Certainly the ages of the kids play a roll. Babies and toddlers are a whole different scenario because they put everything in their mouths. If I had older kids and no baby, I would take a baby or toddler to help the mom with a sick kid, because I know *my* kids wouldn't put everything in their mouths. But since I do have a baby, taking another baby or toddler would be different because I wouldn't be able to control what they touched and then what my baby put in his mouth. Besides the littler ones are unlikely to feel outcast, LOL. But if the mom was really, really, in need of help, I would take her baby/toddler anyway. And then pray.

 

With older kids, as others said, I would be vigilant about the hand washing, as well as making sure the child understood that if he had to cough or sneeze, to do so in his arm or a tissue. And I would still pray, and trust that our effort to help out would not end in sickness for us.

 

However! If it's the stomach bug in that other house...No way. We're more important than other people in that situation, LOL! (just kidding!! Kind of...;))

[Jen in PA]

I would worry about tummy issues, but not most cold symptoms, low-grade fevers, etc. I do try to keep my kids in for the first 24 hours following any illness involving bodily fluids, but we rarely change our routine for mild - moderate cold symptoms. Neither one of my kids is very prone to fevers, but I try to respond to those based on the child's behavior rather than what the thermometer says. I definitely remember having my temp taken in the school nurse's office and just being sent back to class if it wasn't over 100 degrees. In any event, my kids are actually very good about blowing their noses and washing their hands, and we have passed the "everything goes in the mouth" stage, so I don't feel the need to be much more vigilant than that. OTOH, I know I would feel otherwise if my kids were as prone to ear infections as I was at their age.

[PinkInTheBlue]

If it's the flu or a stomach bug, I say no play. Most of the other things I don't worry too much about. However we don't have health concerns here of things like asthma or chemo like others have listed. In those cases I would definitely have a different opinion.

[Jlynn]

Nope...the contagious part of the cold/flu is usually when the kid still feels fine enough to want to come to your house. We have to deal with enough germs spreading just by going to park days, church, homeschool group club activities, husband bringing them back from TDY etc. that I won't invite them into my home.

 

Caveat: I am 35wks pregnant and sick as can be with a head cold/sore throat...admittedly I have a lower tolerance for germ sharing right now : )

[AnnetteB]

I guard the doors fiercely against germs. I have asthma, chronic bronchitus and sinusitus and if I get sick it can take months to get over it :( Our dd is also at greater risk with her type 1 diabetes if she becomes ill and can't eat. I won't let the grandkids come for a visit if they are ill. That has been a tough one with a dil that could care less about visiting sick friends or taking her ill children everywhere.

[Laurel]

Unless it's a stomach bug with vomiting, I'd let the kids come play. I might suggest that they all play outside, but that's about as far as I'd go. Germs and sickness don't bother me too much. (We also have fairly strong immune systems and very very rarely get sick, so that is a part of it as well. I would probably feel much differently if we caught every bug going around, as I know is the case with some of our friends.)

 

If we were the sick ones, I would stay away from others until we were better and not contagious. But I really can't remember the last time one of us was sick.

[MountainViewMama]

No, but I have a little girl that was born a preemie and we try to keep her away from sick kids as much as possible. Just not worth the risk.

[Aubrey]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh! This drives me crazy.

 

The short answer is NO. FREAKING. WAY.

 

But since I can't seem to say that & it's hard to know these things when you're dealing w/ people who handle things differently, my new philosophy is:

 

Expose them all. Do it fast. Get sick, & get over it. (The sickness, not nec. the aggravation. And while you're cleaning up puke or administering Tylenol, comfort yourself w/ the wicked possibility of sending it back.) :D

[keptwoman]

Yes I'd let them. I guess I'm rather the opposite of you in that I don't really bother about bugs too much. My children are in rude good health and seldom sick. We were camping at Christmas with another family. We did all the cooking and eating together and the children played together all day every day. Their entire family came down one by one with a bad tummy bug and none of our family had even a touch of it.

 

Healthy immune systems are created by exposure to stuff not by wrapping kids in cotton wool.

[Snickerdoodle]

Yes I'd let them. I guess I'm rather the opposite of you in that I don't really bother about bugs too much. My children are in rude good health and seldom sick.

 

 

I love it!! Rude good health. Yes that describes us too. This kind of thing doesn't bother me either. If they are well enough to play, they are well enough to play.

[dawn of ns]

It wouldn't bother me too much, I'd just have the other kids wash their hands.

[elegantlion]

I'm not super vigilant about it but I generally don't allow him to play with the neighbors when they are sick. My ds has a great immune system and is rarely down with anything. I, however, have a suppressed immune system and catch things easily.

 

We unintentionally traded illnesses with the neighbors a few times, but if I know someone is sick, they stay apart for a few days.

[Halftime Hope]

This friend has a different philosophy about sick kids than me- I'm hyper-vigilant about not exposing other people to sickness, probably to an unnecessary level.

 

I'm with you, Jo, I don't expose my kids to illness knowingly, nor do I take my kids to things when they are sick. We are a very close family, lots of physical contact and proximity, so what one gets we usually share. :glare:

 

The cost is too high if we end up all getting it in one form or another.

[Parrothead]

Yes I'd let them. I guess I'm rather the opposite of you in that I don't really bother about bugs too much. My children are in rude good health and seldom sick. We were camping at Christmas with another family. We did all the cooking and eating together and the children played together all day every day. Their entire family came down one by one with a bad tummy bug and none of our family had even a touch of it.

 

Healthy immune systems are created by exposure to stuff not by wrapping kids in cotton wool.

:iagree:That is the way I feel about it too. The only time I kept friends at bay was when their family came down with foot and mouth disease. That was going through town a couple years ago. We didn't leave the house for a week.

[Tammyla]

No... I didn't always and learned when I had my own kids...fever today...barfin tonight...and one moms common cold is another's croup.

 

If I Luv em...yes, neighbors...no.

 

 

Disclaimer....Extended family member with asthma and a regular cold can send him into the hospital.

[chiguirre]

I understand your concern, but I also look at this as a mom who has 1 kid in school. My oldest goes to school unless he's sick. It doesn't matter if one of the hsers is ill, he still has to go until he qualifies as sick enough to stay home. I also send a well hser to outside classes. I pay a lot for them and I don't want the kids to fall behind. We're out and about so often and with the oldest in school, we'll be exposed to any germ that's out there anyway, so there's no point in policing the cul-de-sac for me. I'm sure I'd do things differently if I had a dc with a chronic illness or compromised immune system.

[Holly IN]

No I wouldn't allow the other three to play at my house. Dh and I are very vigilent about sickness.

 

Holly

[joannqn]

No... I didn't always and learned when I had my own kids...fever today...barfin tonight...and one moms common cold is another's croup.

 

If I Luv em...yes, neighbors...no.

 

 

Disclaimer....Extended family member with asthma and a regular cold can send him into the hospital.

 

:iagree:

 

When my middle child was in public preschool, a classmate of his was sent to school with a "cold." My son caught that cold. Well, it turned out that the cold was RSV...which causes a minor cold in older kids but is potentially deadly in infants. My newborn, then 2 1/2 weeks, spend 8 days in the hospital fighting for his life because some mom decided it wasn't a big deal to send her child to school with a cold.

 

Since it seems that my youngest catches every bug he's exposed to, I care about exposure much more these days.

[Sheila in OK]

NO WAY! Glad to see I'm not the only germophobe around. ;-)

[Tammyla]

:grouphug: Poor babies, my heart just aches hearing stories like this.

 

 

:iagree:

 

When my middle child was in public preschool, a classmate of his was sent to school with a "cold." My son caught that cold. Well, it turned out that the cold was RSV...which causes a minor cold in older kids but is potentially deadly in infants. My newborn, then 2 1/2 weeks, spend 8 days in the hospital fighting for his life because some mom decided it wasn't a big deal to send her child to school with a cold.

 

Since it seems that my youngest catches every bug he's exposed to, I care about exposure much more these days.

[Mommyof4ks]

Not right now, but currently we have an immune compromised child in our house. Every temp above 100.4 lands him in the hospital for 48 hours, so it is a pain and can be dangerous.

 

Normally (before above child got sick and once he is better) my rule is, as long as nothing is coming out of either 'end' then they can come play. The only healthy child I have is the one that was exposed to many many germs as a little tot, so my theory is that germs are good. We don't generally have everyone in our house sick at one time, so it is not a big deal for us. I have yet to figure that out since we are together all the time and the kids are in one another's space often. People are generally contagious days before symptoms appear and less contagious once they get symptoms, so it is really hard to figure out who will make us sick *sigh*.

 

It is quite annoying when parents bring their sick kids to events and such, and apparently they don't think about how dangerous that might be to others.