Welp, it was bound to happen.....

[DawnM]

Our former house is in a school zone that is the top in the area.   A still goes there until we can move into our new house.   They have NOT been easy to work with due to A's emotional struggles.   They literally cater to future doctors and lawyers and that clientele.   They can't handle kids with the issues that A has.

However, we were waiting to move his school until the ink dried on the purchase agreement due to the issues we had with the last house we tried to buy.   Well, that, and we would like to check out another program for him that is therapeutic in nature.   The therapeutic place would be temporary, but we were trying to move him just straight there and THEN to the new school, rather than move him twice, but now we don't have a choice.

I got a call last night from the attendance officer saying they did a home check and found out we no longer live there and A has to be out of their school by next Friday.    I talked to the officer and explained why we haven't moved his school yet but that I have been honest about us moving.   She said it is all up to the principal, which is fine.   The principal has been our issue with A.   He suspends him for things that are in his psych eval saying he can't help!   He is 5 and has been suspended 7 full days and it is only October!   Ridiculous!

This is just an UGH!   I understand the reasons behind making him leave the school if we don't live there, I am just gun shy about moving him until we actually move.....oh well.....I don't have a choice now.

I feel the new school will be a much better fit.   It is still in a very good school zone, but the principal of the new school has a special needs son and had to fight for him to get what he needed, so he says he is very willing to work with A.   They will put him in an inclusion class with kids who struggle, so that will be helpful too.   14 kids and two teachers.   Much better IMO.   

Last night I emailed the data manager and sent our purchase agreement and also emailed the principal who responded and said he will call me today to talk through some things.   

Ok, that is all of my long saga.   If you have followed me this far.....thank you.   This has been a long journey with a. child who suffered so much as a toddler and is now having some very big feelings in trying to process all of it.

[ScoutTN]

I hope the new school is a good fit and your boy gets the support he needs and can thrive.

[pinball]

25 minutes ago, DawnM said:

Our former house is in a school zone that is the top in the area.   A still goes there until we can move into our new house.   They have NOT been easy to work with due to A's emotional struggles.   They literally cater to future doctors and lawyers and that clientele.   They can't handle kids with the issues that A has.

However, we were waiting to move his school until the ink dried on the purchase agreement due to the issues we had with the last house we tried to buy.   Well, that, and we would like to check out another program for him that is therapeutic in nature.   The therapeutic place would be temporary, but we were trying to move him just straight there and THEN to the new school, rather than move him twice, but now we don't have a choice.

I got a call last night from the attendance officer saying they did a home check and found out we no longer live there and A has to be out of their school by next Friday.    I talked to the officer and explained why we haven't moved his school yet but that I have been honest about us moving.   She said it is all up to the principal, which is fine.   The principal has been our issue with A.   He suspends him for things that are in his psych eval saying he can't help!   He is 5 and has been suspended 7 full days and it is only October!   Ridiculous!

This is just an UGH!   I understand the reasons behind making him leave the school if we don't live there, I am just gun shy about moving him until we actually move.....oh well.....I don't have a choice now.

I feel the new school will be a much better fit.   It is still in a very good school zone, but the principal of the new school has a special needs son and had to fight for him to get what he needed, so he says he is very willing to work with A.   They will put him in an inclusion class with kids who struggle, so that will be helpful too.   14 kids and two teachers.   Much better IMO.   

Last night I emailed the data manager and sent our purchase agreement and also emailed the principal who responded and said he will call me today to talk through some things.   

Ok, that is all of my long saga.   If you have followed me this far.....thank you.   This has been a long journey with a. child who suffered so much as a toddler and is now having some very big feelings in trying to process all of it.

It sounds like the school that has suspended him 7 days isn’t an appropriate placement for him. 

It also sounds like someone reported you unless the attendance officer just randomly picked your name and hit the jackpot.

It might not be worth it to fight to keep him where he already has a target on his back.

 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

Not to mention that if A has a diagnosed disability, and they’re suspending him for behaviors related to that disability, that’s not really legal.  
We moved to a school district that is rated one of the top districts in the state only to discover that they also cater to the future doctors and lawyers and rocket scientists and not the goofy ADD kid hanging upside down out of his chair.  I am still beyond disappointed about this.

i hope the new school is everything that A needs.

[Scarlett]

That is just horrible. They really couldn’t wait until you moved to a new house that is under contract?  What a bunch of jerks.  I am glad you are leaving that school.  I hope the next one is better. 

[Heartstrings]

1 hour ago, DawnM said:

He is 5 and has been suspended 7 full days and it is only October!   Ridiculous!

I’ve been there, I think my oldest spend 1/3 to 1/2 of Kindy in ISS.   

[Drama Llama]

Aren’t you staying in a hotel (albeit a nice one)? I would invoke McKinney-Vento on them.  

[Kanin]

2 hours ago, Drama Llama said:

Aren’t you staying in a hotel (albeit a nice one)? I would invoke McKinney-Vento on them.  

Ooh. That's a good idea. That would really bug the unhelpful principal. 

[Lecka]

I have done a mid-year move, with a special needs child, and it went smoothly, I hope it will go smoothly, but in optimistic.  He’s young, too, which can help make school transitions easier.

 

The new classroom sounds wonderful.

 

I would not waste another thought on the old school, they are not worth your time or energy.  I do think they sound like jerks!

[DawnM]

5 hours ago, pinball said:

It sounds like the school that has suspended him 7 days isn’t an appropriate placement for him. 

It also sounds like someone reported you unless the attendance officer just randomly picked your name and hit the jackpot.

It might not be worth it to fight to keep him where he already has a target on his back.

 

I think when the new folks enrolled (the ones who bought our house) it triggered the system.  

It is more about him having to transition TWICE if we put him in that placement and the placement happens after he starts the new school.   I just don't want him to have to do it twice if it is unnecessary.

[cjzimmer1]

I can't help but wonder if the principal knowing you were planning to move and also not wanting A in his/her school made a point to keep checking if you had moved yet knowing he/she could insist you move A then.  I find it hard to believe otherwise that they have so much extra staff time to be checking all their students that frequently to determine they live in the district.  

[DawnM]

Just now, cjzimmer1 said:

I can't help but wonder if the principal knowing you were planning to move and also not wanting A in his/her school made a point to keep checking if you had moved yet knowing he/she could insist you move A then.  I find it hard to believe otherwise that they have so much extra staff time to be checking all their students that frequently to determine they live in the district.  

There is an attendance officer who is assigned to that cluster of high school, middle school, and elementary feeder schools.   It isn't just a reg. staff member.  Someone alerted her to go check and she called me yesterday.

[DawnM]

UPDATE:

 

The new principal of the new assigned school called me today.   I can't say enough good things about him.   And it is not just from my interaction with him, others have said it as well.   He is awesome.   He says he will work with A as long as necessary and he alluded to his thoughts on the 7 days of suspension and then said, "That wouldn't have happened here."

Apparently the old school has already put in the paperwork for A to attend the day treatment program, so they really wanted to get rid of him!  I didn't know that but the new Principal informed me.   He is an Asshat and I could turn him in to the board and get an attorney, but I don't have the energy and A will be moving soon, so I won't.

The plan now is to tour the day treatment program Monday and make a decision on it soon after.   I have several questions for them, including how long it takes to process the paperwork.   

Honestly, if need be, we will keep him home a couple of weeks rather than transition him twice.

If he goes to the day treatment program, they aren't strong with academics so I might get some K homeschooling materials and after-school him so he doesn't fall behind.   I will need to look into something, even Time4Learning, so he can keep moving forward.

[KungFuPanda]

If you have the bandwidth, is there some sort of formal complaint you can file without going the whole shebang with lawyers?  It would be nice if there was a paper trail for the next family because that principal WILL keep treating SN kids like that.  He sounds like a real piece of work.

[sassenach]

Unless the day program is spectacular, I would lean much more in the direction of giving the new school a chance. I just think at 5, you never know what leaps he could make in a more nurturing least-restrictive environment. 

Edited October 27, 2023 by sassenach

[DawnM]

1 hour ago, sassenach said:

Unless the day program is spectacular, I would lean much more in the direction of giving the new school a chance. I just think at 5, you never know what leaps he could make in a more nurturing least-restrictive environment. 

Yeah we are considering that.

[Green Bean]

Another idiot to add to your lawsuit! Yea! A bigger pay out!

I am so sorry you are going through this. What an absolute jerk who has no business working with kids!

I am glad the new school is so amzing. I would do the day treatment place. My oldest went to a special school for kids with learning-language disorders called The Parish School here in Houston that worked wonders for him. It is worth doing even if you transition twice.

[DawnM]

UPDATE:

The district tried to get the principal to allow him to stay for 2 more weeks until we can determine where he will be going.   The district office told me they would reach out to the principal but it was up to him to make the decision.

That man had the nerve to call me and tell me that it was a district policy that he couldn't change so A needed to leave by Friday (today!).  He lied right to my face!   My husband asked why I didn't challenge him.  I told him, "Why would I fight to keep A at a school where the principal clearly doesn't want him there?"

And the transfer to the new school hasn't gone through yet, so here we are, school-less and homeless!

We are going out of town for most of next week, so we will just keep him home until things are sorted out.   Sigh.

[Scarlett]

23 minutes ago, DawnM said:

UPDATE:

The district tried to get the principal to allow him to stay for 2 more weeks until we can determine where he will be going.   The district office told me they would reach out to the principal but it was up to him to make the decision.

That man had the nerve to call me and tell me that it was a district policy that he couldn't change so A needed to leave by Friday (today!).  He lied right to my face!   My husband asked why I didn't challenge him.  I told him, "Why would I fight to keep A at a school where the principal clearly doesn't want him there?"

And the transfer to the new school hasn't gone through yet, so here we are, school-less and homeless!

We are going out of town for most of next week, so we will just keep him home until things are sorted out.   Sigh.

What a jerk and what a power trip he is on!

So glad A wo t be there.

[DawnM]

3 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

What a jerk and what a power trip he is on!

So glad A wo t be there.

He has had it in for A since Day 1.   So thankful we are leaving that place!

[kbutton]

2 hours ago, DawnM said:

And the transfer to the new school hasn't gone through yet, so here we are, school-less and homeless!

We are going out of town for most of next week, so we will just keep him home until things are sorted out.   Sigh.

I would make sure you have documentation in case the truancy people are paying attention.

Some people seem to relish making things hard.

 

 

[Heartstrings]

3 hours ago, DawnM said:

UPDATE:

The district tried to get the principal to allow him to stay for 2 more weeks until we can determine where he will be going.   The district office told me they would reach out to the principal but it was up to him to make the decision.

That man had the nerve to call me and tell me that it was a district policy that he couldn't change so A needed to leave by Friday (today!).  He lied right to my face!   My husband asked why I didn't challenge him.  I told him, "Why would I fight to keep A at a school where the principal clearly doesn't want him there?"

And the transfer to the new school hasn't gone through yet, so here we are, school-less and homeless!

We are going out of town for most of next week, so we will just keep him home until things are sorted out.   Sigh.

I hope you get back with whoever you spoke to at the district and let them know that the principal is lying directly to parents. File a complaint.  

He should just own it, if he doesn't want A there he should just say that.  "Sorry, I know I could keep him here for 2 weeks, and the district has ok'd that, but it's my decision, and I say no" would at least have been an honest answer.  

[footballmom]

I would be tempted to send principal an email summarizing your conversation from today. He can decide to respond to it in a way that is CYA for him or double down on his lie. It gives you something to stand on later if anything comes up and he has “amnesia”.

[Terabith]

I think I would be really hard pressed to agree to my young child attending a very restrictive environment like that without at least trying a school that is less draconian and out to get him than his old school was.  

[Anne]

What a jerk!!!  Praying for better schooling options for A in the future!!

Anne

[Jaybee]

I'm having a hard time with the fact that a grown man has had it in for a 5yo little boy ever since he showed up. How messed up is that? Especially when it is a person whose position is to care for children.

[DawnM]

5 minutes ago, Jaybee said:

I'm having a hard time with the fact that a grown man has had it in for a 5yo little boy ever since he showed up. How messed up is that? Especially when it is a person whose position is to care for children.

They only want a certain caliber of kids to keep up their high test scores and high ratings.   Or I should say, the principal does.    Everyone else has been very nice.

[AmandaVT]

I know you don't want to send him back there (and I wouldn't either) but it couldn't hurt to reach out to the superintendent of the district to remind them of the McKinney Vento Act. They cannot legally remove him from the school if you are currently technically homeless. And given that he's on an IEP (if I remember correctly) this is a double no no. The school also is legally required to provide transportation for your son. 

[DawnM]

46 minutes ago, AmandaVT said:

I know you don't want to send him back there (and I wouldn't either) but it couldn't hurt to reach out to the superintendent of the district to remind them of the McKinney Vento Act. They cannot legally remove him from the school if you are currently technically homeless. And given that he's on an IEP (if I remember correctly) this is a double no no. The school also is legally required to provide transportation for your son. 

He has a 504 and not an IEP.   Honestly, I don't want to even deal with it at this point.  And the district said he has the authority to not allow us to stay.   Now, the new principal at the new school does not.   We have purchased a home in that school zone and he can go there.   So, the district doesn't see this as a problem as long as he has a school he can attend.   MV takes a while to even qualify, and you have to go through the social worker, apply, and wait.   We don't really have time, energy, or anything else to even deal with it right now.

What I SHOULD have done is use my friend's address in the school district as my temp housing address.   But now it is too late.   

I have so many other battles to fight right now that this is not on my priority list.   It just irritates me.

[Ali in OR]

@DawnM When is your expected move-in date for the new house?

[kbutton]

1 hour ago, DawnM said:

What I SHOULD have done is use my friend's address in the school district as my temp housing address.

That can be a legally sticky thing to do. Here you have to swear an affidavit and have utility bills in your name.

[DawnM]

5 minutes ago, kbutton said:

That can be a legally sticky thing to do. Here you have to swear an affidavit and have utility bills in your name.

This would have been only to say it was our temp address.   We could have written up some sort of contract, but whatever, it is fine.  I just wrote a check for $200 to the district and I should be set to stay in the district, just not in that school where he was.