Jann in TX Posted October 24, 2023 Share Posted October 24, 2023 My oldest dd will be getting married in April. Today she is out trying on wedding dresses with DH and one of her sisters. I cannot go because I have to work. I teach online and dd just scheduled this a few days ago-- I already missed a few days recently because I was hospitalized... I'll miss another day of classes next week due to a pre-op appointment (I get a battery pack next week -- in other words a heart pacemaker). While I was/am able to cover my classes with recordings, nothing compares to a live class. DD's wedding is also scheduled OUT OF STATE and on a MONDAY afternoon-- of course I will make recordings for the Monday and Tuesday I'm gone but still... My dd is an Aspie-- sometimes she just does not get other peoples feelings... I'm crying-- DH just sent a photo-- looks like she found THE DRESS... 45 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WildflowerMom Posted October 24, 2023 Share Posted October 24, 2023 I’m sorry. I know that’s a special time, and I’m sorry you have to miss it. Congrats, though, to dd! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted October 24, 2023 Share Posted October 24, 2023 oh, that is so hard. I'm sorry. Sending hugs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 24, 2023 Share Posted October 24, 2023 That’s a lot. I’m sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vintage81 Posted October 24, 2023 Share Posted October 24, 2023 Hugs Jann...I'm really sorry 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurel-in-CA Posted October 24, 2023 Share Posted October 24, 2023 That is a lot of stuff to process and deal with. I am sorry you didn't get to go dress shopping with your dd and I applaud you for doing your best for your students in trying circumstances. ((( ))) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bambam Posted October 24, 2023 Share Posted October 24, 2023 I'm sorry - that really stinks. It is a special thing, and it would have been lovely to be there. And yes, sometimes I think kids just don't get it, and unfortunately, no amount of talking can sometimes help them to 'get' it. I hope your pre-Op and procedure go well. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jann in TX Posted October 24, 2023 Author Share Posted October 24, 2023 Yep, they found a dress-- they sent me a few pictures-- one was very flattering on her-- nope-- she went with one that had a slightly prettier hem detail... but the top is NOT nearly as flattering... sigh. She told me this morning that she would not choose--that she was just going to look... I've cried all afternoon-- you know-- a 'big girl temper tantrum' --- I've got to settle down and 'let it go' (maybe I'll put on Frozen and sing...) 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted October 24, 2023 Share Posted October 24, 2023 7 minutes ago, Jann in TX said: I've cried all afternoon-- you know-- a 'big girl temper tantrum' --- I've got to settle down and 'let it go' (maybe I'll put on Frozen and sing...) Aw, that's totally understandable. Sometimes we need a good cry and this is definitely one of those times. Yes, letting it go is best, but it's so much easier to say than to actually do. I'm sorry about it all. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted October 24, 2023 Share Posted October 24, 2023 How frustrating! And who gets married on a Monday afternoon? Prayers that your procedure will go well, and that your pacemaker will feel great! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaelAldrich Posted October 24, 2023 Share Posted October 24, 2023 That's so hard not to be there at such an important moment! I'm so sorry! And yes, I think most kids would not understand the significance. I hope you figure it some other activity to help you feel better about the whole thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jann in TX Posted October 24, 2023 Author Share Posted October 24, 2023 They will be back here at any minute-- I want to run away from home-- I cant believe how hurt I am... I knew I was going to be sad but never imagined this... Trying to be realistic-- I'm usually pretty easy-going... I think my current health situation is part of the issue-- I have a LOW heart rate that makes me feel yucky and GROGGY all of the time... so being both tired and sad are not mixing for me today. DH said that they went out to a nice lunch to celebrate-- so dont bother cooking dinner.... well fine for HIM -HUMPH-- I'm out of leftovers so I get to cook and eat dinner all by myself.... GRR-- Oh well I'm going upstairs to get lost in a new K-drama and knit or crochet (for personal therapy). Hopefully I'm fine tomorrow. 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted October 24, 2023 Share Posted October 24, 2023 (((Jann))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelydon Posted October 25, 2023 Share Posted October 25, 2023 I would be so hurt! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebcoola Posted October 25, 2023 Share Posted October 25, 2023 Sorry that would hurt and I can definitely see my oldest who is Autistic not getting it. 4 hours ago, kbutton said: How frustrating! And who gets married on a Monday afternoon? We got a married on Thursday because we could have the venue for free. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BusyMom5 Posted October 25, 2023 Share Posted October 25, 2023 Hugs! I'm so sorry. I hope you can go to shop for other things together- flowers, decorations? Even gifts for bridesmaids and groomsmen? Or maybe help put the finishing touches on the look- jewelry, shoes, hair, veil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted October 25, 2023 Share Posted October 25, 2023 1 hour ago, Shelydon said: I would be so hurt! I would be too. I am so sorry. I have no advice at all, but I get why you would be so upset. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mominco Posted October 25, 2023 Share Posted October 25, 2023 (((hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted October 25, 2023 Share Posted October 25, 2023 Hugs. I feel for you. My Dd wedding was impacted by covid snap lockdown. Basically it was just a rushed service with nothing else. It was so rushed that one of my son's couldn't even get here in time as the ceremony had to happen before the snap lockdown started The abnoxious father of the groom stood up straight away after the ceremony and said that my Dd was now his daughter and we will be only allowed limited contact. 2 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ditto Posted October 25, 2023 Share Posted October 25, 2023 7 hours ago, Melissa in Australia said: The abnoxious father of the groom stood up straight away after the ceremony and said that my Dd was now his daughter and we will be only allowed limited contact. How have things been since the wedding? Do you see her often or has he limited your contact? Not only was his comment mean but it just screams abuser to me. I hope your SIL is far kinder than his horrible father. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ditto Posted October 25, 2023 Share Posted October 25, 2023 Jann I would be so hurt and in tears as well. This has all been handled so poorly by everyone. Lots of hugs and I do hope today is better. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jann in TX Posted October 25, 2023 Author Share Posted October 25, 2023 Today is a bit better... I did go to bed very early last night... my mood is almost up to 'adult' level this morning. DH is staying clear of me-- he knows that I'm upset-- he knew that before he agreed to go yesterday...DD sort of apologized when she stopped by last night-- but most of our conversation was NOT about the wedding (I tried so HARD not to let her know I was hurt). DH has now promised to drive me to (AND ATTEND with me) a concert a few days after my surgery. I've had tickets for several months and unless there are complications with the procedure next Friday, the Dr said I'm fine to go and have fun as long as I do not drive! (I will not be allowed to drive or lift my left arm...) If you are curious I'll be attending a concert by the Korean band The Rose... I'm laughing at thought of DH being surrounded by hundreds of screaming girls... thankfully for him most songs are at least partly in English (their last album is all in English). Thankfully I love my family! This is my issue not theirs... I'll be at the wedding. DD will save $500 by having wedding on a Monday and her future in-laws own a brewery so reception venue is free. -- I've been asked to make the cake... DD grew up dreaming of me making her wedding cake as I have made many wedding cakes for friends and family... Hopefully the cake will cooperate and I'll be able to help dd get dressed for the wedding... 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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