PLEASE help me: How hard do you push your child?

[MitchellMom]

We just started homeschooling about two weeks ago. I was so optimistic and excited. Then I mentioned to my husband's cousin that we are homeschooling and she said, "Oh, I know a couple who tried that with their kindergarten-age kids. Then the kids didn't pass the kindergarten test at school so the parents had to send them on to public schools." OK, so now I am a wreck. My state (NC) demands testing every year for homeschooled children, and I now am terrified that my daughter will fail a test and the state will make me send her to public schools! So this morning she was not understanding a math concept and I fussed at her and told her she would have to go away if she did not pay attention! (I know, that was harsh, but I was really worked up at the time.) I am really losing my mind over this issue. I don't want to fail! :sad:

 

I also get even more worked up because my 3 y.o. son is running around the house making noise and distracting us while we're trying to homeschool. I've received different advice: Offer him work to do (yeah right - he's a Wiggly Willy), Ignore him, Send him off to preschool, Put him in front of the TV, Give him toys to play with quietly - but you know, none of this is working and I end up yelling at him and my daughter (because he's made me so tense that I snap at her).

 

As you can see, I need help. Please, someone! :crying:

[lionfamily1999]

In VA, kids are not required to be in school until they are six, the first thing I would do, if I were you, would be to find out the NC laws for when kids should start school. Then, I would get a brimming hot cup of ________, sit down, breath, relax.

 

Your kids are tots, they are going to be "active," that is normal and healthy.

 

You are worried about their well-being, you are a concerned parent, you are a good mom.

 

Now, breath.

 

Find a the homeschooling organization in your state, here it's HEAV, and read their site. They should have nearly everything you need to know in an easy format.

 

You are doing FINE. It's not all the fire and brimstone you are expecting. If you work with your little one and read to her and all that good stuff, she'll be fine.

:grouphug:

[Carol in Cal.]

That is a lot of academic work for a 4.5 year old.

 

I hope that you get some state-specific answers to the testing requirements questions.

 

I think that math has to be very concrete at that age, and reading instruction is sometimes doable and sometimes now.

 

I also think that most kids have a sweet spot at that age during which they can easily learn, and that at other times they just plain cannot. My DD's was in the morning.

 

I would find out what they test for in K--I'm very surprised to hear that they have a K-level test. Here in CA we start state testing in second grade, and at the time when DD was that age I was told that there is only one other state that starts that early, and that all the rest start in third grade. If you find out that you don't have to test until 3rd grade, please relax! Wait for your child to really be ready.

 

If your testing forces you to force her to do things that she is really not ready for, then I don't know quite how to advise you, but I am sure that others with that experience will be able to do so.

 

You don't want to homeschool at the expense of your relationship with your child.

[Scarlett]

We just started homeschooling about two weeks ago. I was so optimistic and excited. Then I mentioned to my husband's cousin that we are homeschooling and she said, "Oh, I know a couple who tried that with their kindergarten-age kids. Then the kids didn't pass the kindergarten test at school so the parents had to send them on to public schools." OK, so now I am a wreck. My state (NC) demands testing every year for homeschooled children, and I now am terrified that my daughter will fail a test and the state will make me send her to public schools! So this morning she was not understanding a math concept and I fussed at her and told her she would have to go away if she did not pay attention! (I know, that was harsh, but I was really worked up at the time.) I am really losing my mind over this issue. I don't want to fail! :sad:

 

I also get even more worked up because my 3 y.o. son is running around the house making noise and distracting us while we're trying to homeschool. I've received different advice: Offer him work to do (yeah right - he's a Wiggly Willy), Ignore him, Send him off to preschool, Put him in front of the TV, Give him toys to play with quietly - but you know, none of this is working and I end up yelling at him and my daughter (because he's made me so tense that I snap at her).

 

As you can see, I need help. Please, someone! :crying:

 

Oh my. Short answer. RELAX. Your dd is 4.5? Stop trying to do school. Read and play and cuddle on the sofa.

 

Someone out there who hasn't recently had surgery (Friday night) can give you the long and sweeter answer. :)

[MitchellMom]

In VA, kids are not required to be in school until they are six, the first thing I would do, if I were you, would be to find out the NC laws for when kids should start school. Then, I would get a brimming hot cup of ________, sit down, breath, relax.

 

Your kids are tots, they are going to be "active," that is normal and healthy.

 

You are worried about their well-being, you are a concerned parent, you are a good mom.

 

Now, breath.

 

Find a the homeschooling organization in your state, here it's HEAV, and read their site. They should have nearly everything you need to know in an easy format.

 

You are doing FINE. It's not all the fire and brimstone you are expecting. If you work with your little one and read to her and all that good stuff, she'll be fine.

:grouphug:

 

 

I think it's age 7. But still ... how can I stop stressing? How many homeschooling parents out there fail, even though they give it their all? Truly, this is like my calling - I do feel called to do this - but what if I still fail at it? How horrible! How embarrassing, too! I am very stressed right now. Maybe I should start drinking. LOL. :tongue_smilie:

[~Kirsten~]

Julie's right (and fast!). Try to relax a bit. If your DD is 4.5, I'm guessing she wouldn't actually start K until the fall, right? And possibly you could wait another year after that? So the testing won't be until over one year from now, at the earliest (again, I'm presuming here that testing is in the spring of K year). That's lightyears away for you both! Really!

 

I'm new, too, so I definitely relate to your fears. Can you get your hands on the test she'll have to take, just so you can ease your mind? Looking at your curriculum and reading some of your earlier posts, I just can't imagine the test will be a problem for your DD. I'm not dismissing your fears AT ALL, but you sound prepared and dedicated. Try not to worry!

 

As far as working with your wiggly willy, does he still nap or rest? Can you do things like math while he's resting? My suggestion would be to have something special, whether special blocks or cars or something that he'll love, that ONLY comes out during school time. If he can be engaged with something reasonably quiet, you'll all be a lot happier. Of course, that's much easier than it sounds. I know someone posted a list of preschool grab bag activities. Maybe a forum search would turn that up? I just remember it had tons of things that would be age-appropriate for him, and if there's something fun (and in our house the key is "special") that's only for him and only during school time, that may help.

 

Hang in there! :grouphug:

[~Kirsten~]

Maybe I should start drinking. LOL. :tongue_smilie:

:lol:

[lionfamily1999]

I think it's age 7. But still ... how can I stop stressing? How many homeschooling parents out there fail, even though they give it their all? Truly, this is like my calling - I do feel called to do this - but what if I still fail at it? How horrible! How embarrassing, too! I am very stressed right now. Maybe I should start drinking. LOL. :tongue_smilie:

short answer? Only the ones that make learning unbearable.

 

You are okay.

 

You want to succeed, that is good, but like someone else already posted, don't do so at the expense of your relationship with your little girl. At her age, coloring pages with numbers and the alphabet should be great. Read to her. Read to her. Read to her. She does not need to do "work" just yet, if you want to teach her things for later, read to her. If you want her to memorize stuff, sing to her.

 

Motherhood is stress. Don't make any more than already comes with the job.

 

Again, :grouphug:

[MitchellMom]

short answer? Only the ones that make learning unbearable.

 

You are okay.

 

You want to succeed, that is good, but like someone else already posted, don't do so at the expense of your relationship with your little girl. At her age, coloring pages with numbers and the alphabet should be great. Read to her. Read to her. Read to her. She does not need to do "work" just yet, if you want to teach her things for later, read to her. If you want her to memorize stuff, sing to her.

 

Motherhood is stress. Don't make any more than already comes with the job.

 

Again, :grouphug:

 

 

So if she doesn't "get" something, should I sit it aside and come back to it tomorrow?...

[Renee in NC]

We just started homeschooling about two weeks ago. I was so optimistic and excited. Then I mentioned to my husband's cousin that we are homeschooling and she said, "Oh, I know a couple who tried that with their kindergarten-age kids. Then the kids didn't pass the kindergarten test at school so the parents had to send them on to public schools." OK, so now I am a wreck. My state (NC) demands testing every year for homeschooled children, and I now am terrified that my daughter will fail a test and the state will make me send her to public schools! So this morning she was not understanding a math concept and I fussed at her and told her she would have to go away if she did not pay attention! (I know, that was harsh, but I was really worked up at the time.) I am really losing my mind over this issue. I don't want to fail! :sad:

 

As you can see, I need help. Please, someone! :crying:

 

NC requires testing from 7yo on. Their is no minimum requirement.

 

Your daughter is 4.5yo. How can she not get a math concept when their aren't even any "standards" for Pre-K?

[MitchellMom]

NC requires testing from 7yo on. Their is no minimum requirement.

 

Your daughter is 4.5yo. How can she not get a math concept when their aren't even any "standards" for Pre-K?

 

 

Good question. The text we are using is teaching adding. If I want to continue with the text, then shouldn't she master addition first?

[Tree House Academy]

We registered through an umbrella school, therefore, the state is not our authority on homeschooling. The umbrella school is. :) However, my son just turned 5 and is reading on a 1st grade level, finishing Kindergarten math in Singapore and is just so far ahead of the curve at this point (thanks to homeschooling) that I can't imagine him ever failing any kind of public school test! The thing is, you don't know what kind of parents these were...how hard they tried or if they just used wal-mart workbooks and skimmed along. You just don't know what it was like in their school. In your school you do know what it is like...and trust me...if your daughter is having one on one attention daily for 180 calendar days, she will be heads above the rest her age! No doubt in my mind.

[Renee in NC]

Good question. The text we are using is teaching adding. If I want to continue with the text, then shouldn't she master addition first?

 

What text are you using that is teaching addition at a Pre-K level? That might influence my answer.

 

Or are you teaching her at a K level?

[MitchellMom]

What text are you using that is teaching addition at a Pre-K level? That might influence my answer.

 

Or are you teaching her at a K level?

 

Another good question. Actually it is Saxon Math 1. It's supposedly for first grade but I've read a few reviews that say it is best for kindergarten. I let her take the placement test and she placed into it. I just decided to go ahead and start with kindergarten. However, we don't do nearly as much science as I'm sure everyone else out there does. We do science about once a week.

[purplemama]

Jessie,

Four and a half is a little young to be doing much more than teaching reading--if and only if your child is really ready--and math readiness. ENJOY your children while they are so young. They will learn more from playing and interacting with you right now than they will from any sort of formal instruction. Relax, relax, relax. Your kids will thank you for it and you will realize that you don't have to worry.

 

I live in NC, too. The state will not even care what score your child gets on the standardized test as long as they TAKE one. They don't even have to take the test that matches their grade. Homeschooled children don't have to take a standardized test until the spring after they turn 7--so you have a long time. Then, after you get your child's first scores, you will realize that it is nothing to worry about.

 

I am going to send you a private message as well.

 

Jennifer

[gracesteacher]

As in quite a few states Northa Carolina doest NOT require you to go to kindergarten. Nor do you have to enroll you child in anytype of school home private or public till 7

http://www.ncpublicschools.org/legal/SchoolEntry.html

 

Relax (easier said than done I know) but if you kids see you stress out they will also. This is the time to make education fun and have them both engaged in what you are doing. If they are the type that have to wiggle while they learn there are lots of get up and move things you can do with them. It is going to take planning and forethought but it can be done.

Have you been able to connect with any other homeschooling mom's no matter what level of education their kids are so you are learning the rules from people that are living it and not from some one who knows some one that once had happen type scenario?

[FloridaLisa]

We just started homeschooling about two weeks ago. I was so optimistic and excited. Then I mentioned to my husband's cousin that we are homeschooling and she said, "Oh, I know a couple who tried that with their kindergarten-age kids. Then the kids didn't pass the kindergarten test at school so the parents had to send them on to public schools." OK, so now I am a wreck.

 

I want to encourage you to homeschool out of love, not out of fear. This was some of the best advice I received about homeschooling. You are new to this. There are Fear-mongers out . . . and Naysayers and One-Uppers and Many Others that will throw you off track if you listen to their voice. Don't. Decide now on the vision for your family. And though you will likely grow and tweak and change as you continue along this homeschool journey, you can filter comments from *helpful* family, friends and strangers through your parameters.

 

You'll probably get very good at smiling nicely and moving to the next subject. It's not worth engaging the baited comments and it's certainly not worth stress and tears in your home.

 

HTH,

Lisa

[MitchellMom]

Jessie,

Four and a half is a little young to be doing much more than teaching reading--if and only if your child is really ready--and math readiness. ENJOY your children while they are so young. They will learn more from playing and interacting with you right now than they will from any sort of formal instruction. Relax, relax, relax. Your kids will thank you for it and you will realize that you don't have to worry.

 

I live in NC, too. The state will not even care what score your child gets on the standardized test as long as they TAKE one. They don't even have to take the test that matches their grade. Homeschooled children don't have to take a standardized test until the spring after they turn 7--so you have a long time. Then, after you get your child's first scores, you will realize that it is nothing to worry about.

 

I am going to send you a private message as well.

 

Jennifer

 

I thought the same thing (I'm addressing your first comment) - then I joined this forum and saw the long list of subjects in everyone's siggy: Example - DS 4 FIAR, BJU Science, Abeka Social Studies, HWT, ETC, LLATL, Guitar Lessons, Piano Lessons, Latin, French, Choir, Voice Lessons, Private Art class, and on and on.... And I thought, Good grief! I better catch up to these people or my daughter will fall behind!

 

 

As in quite a few states Northa Carolina doest NOT require you to go to kindergarten. Nor do you have to enroll you child in anytype of school home private or public till 7

http://www.ncpublicschools.org/legal/SchoolEntry.html

 

Relax (easier said than done I know) but if you kids see you stress out they will also. This is the time to make education fun and have them both engaged in what you are doing. If they are the type that have to wiggle while they learn there are lots of get up and move things you can do with them. It is going to take planning and forethought but it can be done.

Have you been able to connect with any other homeschooling mom's no matter what level of education their kids are so you are learning the rules from people that are living it and not from some one who knows some one that once had happen type scenario?

 

I have met a couple of homeschooling moms but their daughters were older than mine. The mothers seemed so incredibly relaxed; I was like, How can you be so relaxed about this?!?! One mom only used two items to teach her daughter: Workbooks from Sam's Club and old videos of Schoolhouse Rock!!! :confused:

[Renee in NC]

Another good question. Actually it is Saxon Math 1. It's supposedly for first grade but I've read a few reviews that say it is best for kindergarten. I let her take the placement test and she placed into it. I just decided to go ahead and start with kindergarten. However, we don't do nearly as much science as I'm sure everyone else out there does. We do science about once a week.

 

I would slow down. Yes, Saxon 1 can be done by many K-level children (not all.) However, it does require a LONG attention span for a 4.5 yo. The beauty of homeschooling is that she can go at her own pace, which means you can slow down.

 

I have a 4.5yo working on Saxon 1 as well, but I only want her to work at it as long as it is fun for her. Getting her to pay attention for 15 minutes is fine - is that regularly doable for your daughter? If so, then get her to pay attention.

 

If not, or if getting her through Saxon 1 is causing tears and frustration on either of your parts, then you need to stop. A little pushing is not bad - sometimes children don't want to do hard things. If it requires a lot of effort, though, then you are setting yourself up for failure - not because you won't homeschool well enough, but because you and your daughter will burn out.

[gracesteacher]

http://www.ncpublicschools.org/curriculum/mathematics/scos/

That is what your LO needs to know in K for math

and for all other subjects

http://www.ncpublicschools.org/curriculum/ncscos

 

Strive to be the perfect teacher for your child and no one else. There is no magic answer on the right this or the right that.

Good luck and have fun! This is the fun time time to learn

[Matryoshka]

At 4.5, I didn't push them at all. I did introduce lots of things, but mostly through play and song, or with reading and math, just as long as they were interested.

 

Now my older two are in 5th grade, and I'm pushing them quite a bit more. In fact, I've noticed that my expectations have been ramping up steadily every year, but that's probably as it should be.

 

But even through 1st grade, if they were reading and improving, and if I felt like we could get through their math book by the end of the year, the rest was gravy. I think it was in 2nd where I started to get a bit more hard-nosed about sitting down daily and accomplishing certain things (not that we didn't before that, I just wasn't as strict about it).

[MitchellMom]

This is the most profound thing I've heard all day. Thanks.

 

I agree ... thank you. I did not decide to homeschool out of fear. I love my daughter so much and did not want to lose her to the government!!! :tongue_smilie: Not just that, of course: I love being the one to teach her, the one who is with her to explore new ideas and concepts. And yes, I love knowing that I am protecting her from people who she will encounter all too soon anyway. I love knowing that if I do this right, she can excel. I guess the fear has suddenly set in - my thinking, "Who am I to think I can do this?!" And also, it's the tension and anxiety of knowing that if she fails whatever test NC forces her to take, it will mean I have failed her.

[Stacia]

If you cover the basic subjects, you should be fine. Doing science once a week is fine. Children are not expected to be Galileo or Einstein when they're little. Science often focuses on very basic observation at the youngest ages. Relax & enjoy the journey. If you get stressed out, your child will read that off of you & then you both will end up stressed & not liking 'school'.

 

From what others have posted, it sounds like you have a few more years before you would need to do standardized testing. You can always buy or look at test prep books to give you an idea of what types of questions would be asked & how they would be administered (amount of time given, you read all instructions & questions out loud to the student, etc...). Perhaps using one of those closer to the time your child will actually need to be tested will set your mind at ease. I would suggest getting a test prep book or two when your child is around 6. That will give you plenty of time to work through it, explain & see how testing works, etc.... By then, she will probably be able to breeze through most of the questions anyway.

 

I'm guessing that by the time your child is 6 or 7, you will find the test prep for her grade to be fine & you will look back about how stressed you were about this years in advance & have a good laugh. :001_smile:

[Renee in NC]

And also, it's the tension and anxiety of knowing that if she fails whatever test NC forces her to take, it will mean I have failed her.

 

 

You can't fail an achievement test. There is no pass/fail. They don't take EOG's. And your friend? She was wrong because the *state* doesn't even test public school kindergarteners, much less homeschooled ones.

 

And just FYI - my special needs 7yo took the K level CAT test this year and scored average in all areas, even though he cannot read AT ALL and can't count to 10 consistently. I wouldn't worry.

[Annie Laurie]

I think it's age 7. But still ... how can I stop stressing? How many homeschooling parents out there fail, even though they give it their all? Truly, this is like my calling - I do feel called to do this - but what if I still fail at it? How horrible! How embarrassing, too! I am very stressed right now. Maybe I should start drinking. LOL. :tongue_smilie:

 

 

Fail, according to whose standards? Testing is not a great way to measure true learning, imo. And others' opinions don't matter either. Look at you and your husband's goals for your children. You want the best for your dd, that is obvious, and when you have your child's well being at the heart of it, you can't fail.

 

Stressing out and pursuing a lot of academics at 4.5 and telling her she'll have to go to public school if she doesn't understand a concept is what will lead to her seeing learning as a scary, stressful chore. I know you are just stressed and I can commiserate. :grouphug: When my kids were little I freaked out over teaching them to read, afraid I'd "ruin them". They set me straight pretty fast. :D Once I relaxed, we had fun, and they learned to read just fine, and showed me that there is no way to ruin them. One thing that helped us was that I realized that my kids weren't ready for formal schooling (at 5 1/2 and 4), and we unschooled until this year (7 1/2 and 6) and there is no stress at all now and they have a real zest for learning and their curiosity and sense of adventure is still intact. They are not "behind" in any way. Not trying to suggest unschooling, just saying that schooling young ones in a relaxed way can be very freeing and helps a lot when they're busy and wiggly. You can teach them to read with just short oral lessons everyday or through games, (check out The Three Rs by Ruth Beechick), they can learn to count and sort and all kinds of beginning math concepts through games and everyday life, or a simple workbook if you prefer. But keep it short and above all, don't stress! Just reading aloud to them a lot and answering their questions will go a long way and is plenty for the age your dc are at.

 

Also, there is no required testing in my state, but I thought I've heard that even if your child doesn't test well in state that requires it, they can be retested later, and a lot of times you just have to keep the results on file. I don't think they can send them back to school against your wishes. However, I don't live in your state, so please do look into that; it might help calm you to know the exact requirements, they're probably not as bad as you think.

 

Hang in there, that first year can be a little nerve-wracking, but trust in yourself and your dd! And don't worry about formal academics when they're so little, you're taking on a lot more than you need to.

[LoveBaby]

Mama, she has a mom who loves her and wants the best for her...she can't fail with those circumstances!!

 

As for reading the sig lines on these boards and then thinking you need to "catch up"...I would just ignore them, you can't possibly be behind as she's just started her learning adventure! You are looking at a byline of someone elses life, with other circumstances, other goals, different children and different mothers! Those sig lines are not your life, nor should they be your goal. I, too, felt very overwhelmed (and still do most of the time) but comparing *your* homeschool life to others on this board can be a fatal mistake. Your daughter might not be ready for any of the things in those sig lines, she might just need lots of cuddle time, being read to, plenty of creative play time and that is a solid start to a good education.

 

Something else to remember...those siglines may just be a "goal" for those families. There are several things in my sig line, but rarely do we ever get to all of them in 1 day. They are what I would like to do, that we try to do, but then I have some items that just don't get done all the time and I'm okay with that.

 

You mentioned feeling called to homeschool...if this is God's calling for your family, then He will equip you to do the job. And fear is not of God..so sit down, pray and let Him show you the way! :grouphug:

[Lovedtodeath]

Another good question. Actually it is Saxon Math 1. It's supposedly for first grade but I've read a few reviews that say it is best for kindergarten. I let her take the placement test and she placed into it. I just decided to go ahead and start with kindergarten. However, we don't do nearly as much science as I'm sure everyone else out there does. We do science about once a week.

 

Hmmmm.... I believe TWTM has everyone do science once a week. At four and a half we weren't doing any science. Matter of fact we weren't doing any school at all! She is now reading at 3rd grade level, cruising through her math facts and doing just fine in spelling (which is a 2nd grade program). I was not reading or doing math until I was 6 and a half and I ended up skipping a grade.

 

I don't want you to feel attacked. I know what you are doing. btdt. My DD was reading and adding at age 3, so I felt like she should be doing 2nd or 3rd grade work by now. Nope. She is still K in her developement no matter how high I believe her IQ is or how early we started. She needs to play and she needs love and acceptance from her mommy. You are stressing way too much and I think the best thing you could do is put Saxon on the shelf for a month and concentrate on fun. If she enjoys learning and it is not stressing either one of you out, then do it. Otherwise don't.

[MitchellMom]

I would slow down. Yes, Saxon 1 can be done by many K-level children (not all.) However, it does require a LONG attention span for a 4.5 yo. The beauty of homeschooling is that she can go at her own pace, which means you can slow down.

 

I have a 4.5yo working on Saxon 1 as well, but I only want her to work at it as long as it is fun for her. Getting her to pay attention for 15 minutes is fine - is that regularly doable for your daughter? If so, then get her to pay attention.

 

If not, or if getting her through Saxon 1 is causing tears and frustration on either of your parts, then you need to stop. A little pushing is not bad - sometimes children don't want to do hard things. If it requires a lot of effort, though, then you are setting yourself up for failure - not because you won't homeschool well enough, but because you and your daughter will burn out.

 

She can pay attention - she does great with that. She just doesn't want to work hard sometimes, which irritates me. I tell her she has to do schoolwork - it's like vegetables - it's good for you.

[Lovedtodeath]

Here is a post of mine about sig lines. :) Please read the whole thing. It helped get me out of panic mode.

 

A four and a half year old working hard?? Poor baby. At that age school should be fun.

Edited December 15, 2008 by Lovedtodeath

[Renee in NC]

She can pay attention - she does great with that. She just doesn't want to work hard sometimes, which irritates me. I tell her she has to do schoolwork - it's like vegetables - it's good for you.

 

How long are you expecting her to work/pay attention at a time?

[lionfamily1999]

So if she doesn't "get" something, should I sit it aside and come back to it tomorrow?...

Sure. At her age, it really should be all fun and games. Think of it this way, we learn our alphabet as a song, right? Because singing is fun! Make it fun, count cheerios, point at things and name them and discuss them. I forced my oldest (now 11) to do "school" at around the same age as your daughter. Sure, she learned things, but we really did not enjoy eachother. Once I backed off and let it come naturally... it came... naturally.

 

Have you read 'The Well-Trained Mind'? She has a ton of things to do with little ones.

[MitchellMom]

If you cover the basic subjects, you should be fine. Doing science once a week is fine. Children are not expected to be Galileo or Einstein when they're little. Science often focuses on very basic observation at the youngest ages. Relax & enjoy the journey. If you get stressed out, your child will read that off of you & then you both will end up stressed & not liking 'school'.

 

From what others have posted, it sounds like you have a few more years before you would need to do standardized testing. You can always buy or look at test prep books to give you an idea of what types of questions would be asked & how they would be administered (amount of time given, you read all instructions & questions out loud to the student, etc...). Perhaps using one of those closer to the time your child will actually need to be tested will set your mind at ease. I would suggest getting a test prep book or two when your child is around 6. That will give you plenty of time to work through it, explain & see how testing works, etc.... By then, she will probably be able to breeze through most of the questions anyway.

 

I'm guessing that by the time your child is 6 or 7, you will find the test prep for her grade to be fine & you will look back about how stressed you were about this years in advance & have a good laugh. :001_smile:

 

Thanks - this made me feel better!

 

Mama, she has a mom who loves her and wants the best for her...she can't fail with those circumstances!!

 

As for reading the sig lines on these boards and then thinking you need to "catch up"...I would just ignore them, you can't possibly be behind as she's just started her learning adventure! You are looking at a byline of someone elses life, with other circumstances, other goals, different children and different mothers! Those sig lines are not your life, nor should they be your goal. I, too, felt very overwhelmed (and still do most of the time) but comparing *your* homeschool life to others on this board can be a fatal mistake. Your daughter might not be ready for any of the things in those sig lines, she might just need lots of cuddle time, being read to, plenty of creative play time and that is a solid start to a good education.

 

Something else to remember...those siglines may just be a "goal" for those families. There are several things in my sig line, but rarely do we ever get to all of them in 1 day. They are what I would like to do, that we try to do, but then I have some items that just don't get done all the time and I'm okay with that.

 

You mentioned feeling called to homeschool...if this is God's calling for your family, then He will equip you to do the job. And fear is not of God..so sit down, pray and let Him show you the way! :grouphug:

 

Oh goodness ... I never thought people did everything in their siggies in one day! I just thought it was a "per week" list! Yikes!!!!!!!

 

 

Hmmmm.... I believe TWTM has everyone do science once a week. At four and a half we weren't doing any science. Matter of fact we weren't doing any school at all! She is now reading at 3rd grade level, cruising through her math facts and doing just fine in spelling (which is a 2nd grade program). I was not reading or doing math until I was 6 and a half and I ended up skipping a grade.

 

I don't want you to feel attacked. I know what you are doing. btdt. My DD was reading and adding at age 3, so I felt like she should be doing 2nd or 3rd grade work by now. Nope. She is still K in her developement no matter how high I believe her IQ is or how early we started. She needs to play and she needs love and acceptance from her mommy. You are stressing way too much and I think the best thing you could do is put Saxon on the shelf for a month and concentrate on fun. If she enjoys learning and it is not stressing either one of you out, then do it. Otherwise don't.

 

Actually, I have been thinking about switching to Singapore because so many people seem to think it is more fun!!!

[MitchellMom]

How long are you expecting her to work/pay attention at a time?

 

About 25 minutes, I think... I have never really timed us. Reading is only about 10 minutes.

[stripe]

I tell her she has to do schoolwork - it's like vegetables - it's good for you.

 

If it's like vegetables, then think of which ones you enjoy eating: the overcooked, gray ones without any flavor, or the delicately soft ones surrounded by a tasty sauce?

 

You're the chef.

[Renee in NC]

About 25 minutes, I think... I have never really timed us. Reading is only about 10 minutes.

 

That might be too long - try to keep an eye on the time she usually gets frustrated and do less than that.

[Mommy22alyns]

:grouphug:

 

It's a process... all of it. I know how you feel - I tend to get worked up too, but the other ladies are right. Take a deep breath. The compulsory attendance age is a HUGE weight-lifter, really. She wouldn't even have to be in school until 7. She could (legally) sit home and pick her nose until her 7th birthday and it'd be fine. Looking at it that way, anything is a bonus, right? :D Ignore what your "friend" said and don't let anyone scare you about your child being forced into kindy.

 

Starting is hard. If she doesn't get something, stop and come back to it later. Let her have a play break - I set the timer for 20-30 minutes and let Becca run around while I have a little break myself. ;)

 

What other books have you looked at as far as homeschooling resources? It might help relax you some to check out a few books from the "unschooling" approach - I have a few Linda Dobson books as well and while I'm sure we won't become unschoolers any time soon, they help me brainstorm games and see the learning opportunities in daily life for my young ones.

 

Please, please don't compare or feel badly about everything in the siggy lines here. They're really there so we can see who's using a certain approach and can maybe ask for advice or input.

 

You'll be fine, Jessie. Just remember that you're not going to hurt her by not teaching her addition right this minute. But if she starts to see school as burdensome and a source of division, then that could color her approach to learning later on.

 

:grouphug:

[StephanieF]

Re concentrating, one day it may be 10 mins another it may be 30 mins. Once their mind starts to wander then that's enough, any more and you will both end up frustrated. You may like to play a maths game once her mind starts to go. That way she will still be learning but will be doing it a different way. I do rightstart maths and use their game book which you can use whatever course you are following. Ds5 cannot get enough of the games and considers it a treat!

Also I have found that if ds5 doesn't get a concept then I just repeat it the next day and overnight he will have processed it and gets it very easily the next day.

I get stressed out about it like you but there is nothing you can do to force a child to learn maths at that age, nothing!

 

Remember that in school a child will never have that intensive one to one that your dc is getting. My other children were perhaps doing 5 sums a day in a maths lesson at school, sometimes none! I'd go in at parents evening and look at blank pages and wonder where on earth my dc had been that day (that week lol!). My ds will do a few basic pages during the day on and off, just easy stuff but things he needs to learn to do, he'd never do that at school.

Sometimes I think that these forums can be slightly harmful in that I see everyones sigs and think gosh look at what they are all doing, every day, all day and think that I must be failing my ds. But in my heart of hearts I know it isn't true. At 5 yrs old he is doing just fine, I am giving him a love of learning and that is just as important as knowing his number bonds to 10 at a very early age or being able to read at a very high level.

It will be difficult enough later on and you won't ever get this time back.

Stephanie

Stephanie

[MitchellMom]

Re concentrating, one day it may be 10 mins another it may be 30 mins. Once their mind starts to wander then that's enough, any more and you will both end up frustrated. You may like to play a maths game once her mind starts to go. That way she will still be learning but will be doing it a different way. I do rightstart maths and use their game book which you can use whatever course you are following. Ds5 cannot get enough of the games and considers it a treat!

Also I have found that if ds5 doesn't get a concept then I just repeat it the next day and overnight he will have processed it and gets it very easily the next day.

I get stressed out about it like you but there is nothing you can do to force a child to learn maths at that age, nothing!

 

Remember that in school a child will never have that intensive one to one that your dc is getting. My other children were perhaps doing 5 sums a day in a maths lesson at school, sometimes none! I'd go in at parents evening and look at blank pages and wonder where on earth my dc had been that day (that week lol!). My ds will do a few basic pages during the day on and off, just easy stuff but things he needs to learn to do, he'd never do that at school.

Sometimes I think that these forums can be slightly harmful in that I see everyones sigs and think gosh look at what they are all doing, every day, all day and think that I must be failing my ds. But in my heart of hearts I know it isn't true. At 5 yrs old he is doing just fine, I am giving him a love of learning and that is just as important as knowing his number bonds to 10 at a very early age or being able to read at a very high level.

It will be difficult enough later on and you won't ever get this time back.

Stephanie

Stephanie

 

 

Same here! I agree that they can be harmful. I love love love being on here but I have noticed that my level of anxiety has increased tremendously when I started really noticing the sigs.

[Pretty in Pink]

I have not read every response so forgive me if I am reposting information that has already been shared. From the HSLDA website on homeschooling in North Carolina:

 

Standardized Tests: Parent must administer an annual standardized test (§ 115C-564) any time during the school year which must be made available on request "for inspection" by the state "at reasonable times. For one year after the testing, all records shall be made available ... at the principal office of such school, at all reasonable times, for annual inspection by a duly authorized representative of the State of North Carolina." (§ 115C-549 or § 115C-557).

Although the Division of Nonpublic Education has attempted to perform home visits under this provision, the law gives its officials no right to enter homes to inspect any other records but test scores. There is also no statutory requirement for parents to attend regional meetings arranged by the Division of Nonpublic Education for the purpose of reviewing their records. The "inspection," furthermore, is limited only to reviewing test scores. Copies of testing results can be simply mailed to the Division of Non-Public Education upon request.

 

You can read more about the laws concerning homeschooling in your state here. You have a few years before you have to test. Even then you simply file the results at home and hang onto them for a year in case the state asks to see them.

 

I've so BTDT. I know how you feel. It was the same way for me our first year. Your daughter will astound you at the things she learns and you will be a fine teacher. When questions or concerns creep up you can come here for advice, wisdom, encouragement, or even an old-fashioned kick in the pants when you need one. Hang in there mama! In a few years you'll be one of the saavy old hats giving advice to the newbies!:lol:

[KrissiK]

Keep in mind developmental milestones as well. I'm not a huge fan of educational psychology, but I do think that Piaget had it down with his cognitive milestones. Children are unable to process certain things until they are at a certain age, so you may be fighting a losing battle. 4.5 years old is awfully young. Even if she seems ready for some things, she may not really be ready yet. I taught jr. high and that's right at the border of a cognitive leap and some kids literally could not understand algebra, but their parents kept pushing them. Finally, the parents gave in, put the kids back in a more concrete math class, and then put them in algebra the next year and the kid did great.

[Angel]

I would just like to share that if I had homeschooled my oldest, I'm sure I would have been stressing too. I am so glad that my younger dd has benefited from me being more laid back. She did whatever school she liked to join in on at 4.5. It wasn't much. At 5, she began 100EZ lessons...we putzed through at a lazy pace, NO pressure. She then did some history and science with older sis and some Rod and Staff preschool books. That's it. At 6 we started some First Language Lessons and Rod and Staff 1st grade math and did reading with books from the library and Explode the Code. I called her 5yo and 6yo years as K and started her in 1st when she turned 7 (she has a September birthday).

 

I can only imagine how hard it must be to start your oldest off with no experience, but that is what this wonderful board is for. Experienced mom's who can share for those of us who haven't been there done that. There is so much time out there for her to grow up. Why rush it. Who cares what someone's signature line says! She's just a little squirt. Have fun, fun, fun. and hold off on the formal stuff till she's 6.

 

Oh, and in my state, we have to test or have a portfolio done. They can only say that I am failing my child if she gets less than 25% on her achievement tests (I think that's the number). Even then, they still give you a couple months to pull it up and retest. So, don't worry about that, plus it seems like you have years to go before you need to worry about testing.

 

:grouphug:

 

Edited to add that we are not doing all of what's in our sig line right now. Sometimes it is the goal we start out with and then life happens :)

[K&Rs Mom]

I'm pretty sure the state can't force you to send her to public school even if she fails the test. What about all the kids currently in public schools who fail each year? They don't get sent anywhere....

[Lovedtodeath]

Same here! I agree that they can be harmful. I love love love being on here but I have noticed that my level of anxiety has increased tremendously when I started really noticing the sigs.

 

According to your sig line, I am feeling like you do more than me! :lol: I purposely added how often we get things done. ;)

 

As far as math is concerned, we used suggestions from Accelerated Achievement. (Actually all of our PreK was from A2, and I accidently took her past K work with it) All of the math learning is games. I also have a great book called Hands on Math. I really recommend you look into these rather than a "sit down and write on this page" type of program.

[Lady Q]

Same here! I agree that they can be harmful. I love love love being on here but I have noticed that my level of anxiety has increased tremendously when I started really noticing the sigs.

 

I agree! And like your dd, my oldest is only four. My solution is to ignore the signatures. :D

 

I also went through a couple months last fall when ds was really interested in school work. We flew through two of the ETC primers, a preschool math workbook and a chunk of Shiller Math. Then his enthusiasm dropped off and I found myself forcing, begging and cajoling him to do "just one page today." No fun for either of us. Once I backed off and found fun ways to learn, we did much better.

 

We use a lot of manipulatives and picture books for math. Pattern blocks are a big hit around here, as are Stuart Murphy's MathStart books. We do simple math in the kitchen as we're cooking and baking. We use finger plays for teaching subtraction by one (like those crocodile-teasing monkeys!). We did skip counting using cheerios and a 1-100 number grid. Last year, I wrote the numbers 1-100 on index cards and had ds tape them on the wall in order (only 20 at a time, though!). We also play games like Bingo, Chutes & Ladders, War and Go Fish and ds LOVES dot-to-dots.

 

I've learned the hard way to make learning fun for us at this age. I still require my ds to do some schoolwork every day we are not going out, but I let him choose from a wide variety.

 

Good luck! I understand your stress because I sometimes panic over the thought of ruining my children, too. :eek:

[MitchellMom]

I have not read every response so forgive me if I am reposting information that has already been shared. From the HSLDA website on homeschooling in North Carolina:

 

 

Standardized Tests:

Parent must administer an annual standardized test (§ 115C-564) any time during the school year which must be made available on request "for inspection" by the state "at reasonable times. For one year after the testing, all records shall be made available ... at the principal office of such school, at all reasonable times, for annual inspection by a duly authorized representative of the State of North Carolina." (§ 115C-549 or § 115C-557).

Although the Division of Nonpublic Education has attempted to perform home visits under this provision, the law gives its officials no right to enter homes to inspect any other records but test scores. There is also no statutory requirement for parents to attend regional meetings arranged by the Division of Nonpublic Education for the purpose of reviewing their records. The "inspection," furthermore, is limited only to reviewing test scores. Copies of testing results can be simply mailed to the Division of Non-Public Education upon request.

 

You can read more about the laws concerning homeschooling in your state here. You have a few years before you have to test. Even then you simply file the results at home and hang onto them for a year in case the state asks to see them.

 

I've so BTDT. I know how you feel. It was the same way for me our first year. Your daughter will astound you at the things she learns and you will be a fine teacher. When questions or concerns creep up you can come here for advice, wisdom, encouragement, or even an old-fashioned kick in the pants when you need one. Hang in there mama! In a few years you'll be one of the saavy old hats giving advice to the newbies!:lol:

 

Ohhh thanks for that last comment but I feel like I am a loooong way away! LOL

 

According to your sig line, I am feeling like you do more than me! :lol: I purposely added how often we get things done. ;)

 

As far as math is concerned, we used suggestions from Accelerated Achievement. (Actually all of our PreK was from A2, and I accidently took her past K work with it) All of the math learning is games. I also have a great book called Hands on Math. I really recommend you look into these rather than a "sit down and write on this page" type of program.

 

Hands on Math sounds like a good idea - I will look for it.

 

 

[FO4UR]

I'm in NC too. BREATHE!!!

 

You don't have to test until the end of 1st grade, and she will likely be 7yrs old by then (the spring following the fall that she is 6yrs old). You have a LONG TIME in kid years:tongue_smilie:

 

It is never a child's fault for not understanding a concept. Getting upset (and allowing it to show LOL) won't help:grouphug:

 

When my ds was 4.5 he did not write one single letter or number. He could spout off numbers like he was counting, but didn't understand the concept of number= unit of something. I have gone "slow and steady" (not the book, but just everyday working a little bit...) with him and at almost 6yo he is light years beyond were he was at 4.5yo. If I had of put him in a traditional preschool and kindergarten, I know he would have been frustrated and wouldn't have made the strides he has made. I SHELTERED him from any criticism of his abilities, so he never knew he was "behind" - In the past 4 months he has had a learning "growth spurt", and that would have been squelched, I think, if he had of known what other 4 and 5 yo were doing at the time. At this point, I think he's fairly average with basic reading/math skills, and looks forward to doing school daily.

 

All that to say - ignore naysayers, go slowly with your dd - quit working while it's still fun, don't worry about testing. fwiw -I put VERY LITTLE stock in test results at the 1st, 2nd, 3rd grade age ranges. I don't know why states even require children that young to test anyhow????

[Twinmom]

You sound just like me last year! It was my first year to homeschool ever, and I'd just moved to NC from a state that doesn't require testing. Just knowing that the testing was out there felt like a weight on my shoulders all year! It felt like it would be a referendum on my teaching ability, my parenting ability, my basic worth as a human being! ;) Dramatic, I know, but that's how I felt. To make matters worse, I was teaching a child with an untreated LD alongside a gifted child...it was quite a learning curve and it was just nuts.

 

But ya know what? It turned out okay. No one from NCDNPE came knocking at my door asking for test results...in fact, I've not heard from anyone at all in that regard. No one in my home school group asked about our test results. My DH didn't care about the test results. My kids didn't care about the test results. The only one who cared was me, and sadly, I let it freak me out all year long. All that worrying only accomplished one thing...it took a lot of the joy out of homeschooling for all of us.

 

Notice I'm not giving you the test results. Because I learned something important: THEY DON'T MATTER! :D They aren't real life, they aren't a good indicator of my children's abilities, nor of my teaching abilities. They are simply an indicator of a kiddo's ability to take a test and think like the person who wrote it...the very reason we are not in public school in the first place! If that kind of learning is important to you, there are little programs you can use to teach a child to take a standardized test. Otherwise, set aside the artificial standards, know that no one is coming from NCDNPE to make you put your kids in school, and relax enough to enjoy the journey.

 

If you are still not convinced, I'll tell you that the kids did just great on the test. I'm doing much better, too. I've relaxed, I'm doing what my kids need instead of what I think others want me to do, my kids are loving learning and hs is really working for us. Even my crazy, hyper twins are loving it when they join us for science and history! Eventually, it all comes together when you stop trying to be the "perfect" teacher and start being yourself.

[skylark]

I agree with the others, step back a little and realize how very young your child is. Enjoy the time together, she'll have many years of structured learning. I enjoyed Five in a Row when my first daughter was that young. She still learned a lot!

[kalanamak]

I thought the same thing (I'm addressing your first comment) - then I joined this forum and saw the long list of subjects in everyone's siggy: Example - DS 4 FIAR, BJU Science, Abeka Social Studies, HWT, ETC, LLATL, Guitar Lessons, Piano Lessons, Latin, French, Choir, Voice Lessons, Private Art class, and on and on.... And I thought, Good grief! I better catch up to these people or my daughter will fall behind!

 

 

:lol:

 

My hyperbole detector is going off!

 

Mine was DS 4 a few minutes of EB Math every week (2 pages), a few minutes of phonics (preETC), as much art as I can stand (mess), lots of classical music in the background, and run, jump, play, get muddy, and up to two hours of read alouds in the evenings. Emphasis on the run, jump, play, get muddy. Oh, and we conducted music in the car. Our favourite was the 1812 Overture. We got lots of strange looks.

[MitchellMom]

You sound just like me last year! It was my first year to homeschool ever, and I'd just moved to NC from a state that doesn't require testing. Just knowing that the testing was out there felt like a weight on my shoulders all year! It felt like it would be a referendum on my teaching ability, my parenting ability, my basic worth as a human being! ;) Dramatic, I know, but that's how I felt. To make matters worse, I was teaching a child with an untreated LD alongside a gifted child...it was quite a learning curve and it was just nuts.

 

But ya know what? It turned out okay. No one from NCDNPE came knocking at my door asking for test results...in fact, I've not heard from anyone at all in that regard. No one in my home school group asked about our test results. My DH didn't care about the test results. My kids didn't care about the test results. The only one who cared was me, and sadly, I let it freak me out all year long. All that worrying only accomplished one thing...it took a lot of the joy out of homeschooling for all of us.

 

Notice I'm not giving you the test results. Because I learned something important: THEY DON'T MATTER! :D They aren't real life, they aren't a good indicator of my children's abilities, nor of my teaching abilities. They are simply an indicator of a kiddo's ability to take a test and think like the person who wrote it...the very reason we are not in public school in the first place! If that kind of learning is important to you, there are little programs you can use to teach a child to take a standardized test. Otherwise, set aside the artificial standards, know that no one is coming from NCDNPE to make you put your kids in school, and relax enough to enjoy the journey.

 

If you are still not convinced, I'll tell you that the kids did just great on the test. I'm doing much better, too. I've relaxed, I'm doing what my kids need instead of what I think others want me to do, my kids are loving learning and hs is really working for us. Even my crazy, hyper twins are loving it when they join us for science and history! Eventually, it all comes together when you stop trying to be the "perfect" teacher and start being yourself.

 

Wow, I can't believe it - are you serious that no one came to see the test results? Could it be because they got a copy in Raleigh and did not need to ask for them directly from you?

 

:lol:

 

My hyperbole detector is going off!

 

Mine was DS 4 a few minutes of EB Math every week (2 pages), a few minutes of phonics (preETC), as much art as I can stand (mess), lots of classical music in the background, and run, jump, play, get muddy, and up to two hours of read alouds in the evenings. Emphasis on the run, jump, play, get muddy. Oh, and we conducted music in the car. Our favourite was the 1812 Overture. We got lots of strange looks.

 

Glad you caught it! (hyperbole!)

 

Wow ... reading two hours every evening sounds like heaven. We are nowhere near that. I am about to collapse from exhaustion. I think we need to rearrange our schedule to read more! We used to read about an hour a day. I miss that. :(