Updates 2023 (job hunt etc)

[Faith-manor]

I am very happy that the children loved their gifts, and that the visit is going well so far.

[Storygirl]

Enjoy your time with them! Merry Day After Christmas, Heart!

[heartlikealion]

I hope he gets in trouble since we have joint legal which affects matters like education and there was no discussion about swapping schools. Even though I know he’s the tie breaker. 

[heartlikealion]

Spoke to my lawyer. At this point we’re just going to request modifications to the visitation. My hands are pretty tied. 

I might request one weekend a month + extra summer. I don’t really want to do that drive 2x a month. 

Will I be able to watch dd and work over summer? Well I’ll do my best… she’ll be a little more mature by then? 

Not sure if ds will be over the same number of days. I need to look at the schedule again. 

[BusyMom5]

I rarely post on your thread, but I do read and I know your DH us a snake.  That said,  I really think you need to put in that time to see your kids whenever you can.  If that means a weekend at your Dads or extra driving time, so be it.  Thar time matters, especially to your DD.  

[Scarlett]

40 minutes ago, BusyMom5 said:

I rarely post on your thread, but I do read and I know your DH us a snake.  That said,  I really think you need to put in that time to see your kids whenever you can.  If that means a weekend at your Dads or extra driving time, so be it.  Thar time matters, especially to your DD.  

I agree. I would ask for more summer time since you will be losing your midweek. But I would not give up anytime.  I know your dad’s house is not ideal, but it is a solution that won’t keep you on the road all weekend.  

[hshibley]

At your dd age time matters. Put in the time year round to see your dd. 

[Spryte]

I agree with not giving up time. Move mountains to keep all the time you can, even if you have to shift it around and take more holidays and summer time.

It was a low move on his part. I’m sorry for that. But I agree that you need to keep all the time you can. Your DD will remember.

[heartlikealion]

I don’t know if more summer time equals less overall time. I will have to sit down and see the math. 

My car isn’t great. 2 visits a month would be 16 hours on the road. 

[heartlikealion]

I currently have over 205,000 miles on my car. If my car breaks down I can’t afford to replace it right now. 

[heartlikealion]

29 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I agree. I would ask for more summer time since you will be losing your midweek. But I would not give up anytime.  I know your dad’s house is not ideal, but it is a solution that won’t keep you on the road all weekend.  

I will drive 4 hours each way whether I meet halfway or go all the way to my dad’s. I’m concerned about my vehicle handling it. The car is a 2010 (paid in full) and has had several trips to the shop and gets high mileage synthetic oil at every oil change. I drive at least a couple hours a week. 50 miles one way to the city. 

[heartlikealion]

One way to dad’s house = 228 miles. round trip 456 miles

Two trips a month would = 912 miles! 

[Terabith]

I would think if your ex unilaterally moved them, that there's at least a chance that he would be responsible for transportation back for visitation?

[Scarlett]

The car breaking down is a possibility. But time with your kids is the here and  now reality.

The last thing I want is to pile on you after what you have been through. But please think this through very carefully. 
 

 

[heartlikealion]

29 minutes ago, Terabith said:

I would think if your ex unilaterally moved them, that there's at least a chance that he would be responsible for transportation back for visitation?

I did wonder if I could require him to drive them one way to me sometime but he can’t sleep here and I don’t think they will expect him to drive 4 hrs to drop off then 4 hrs back to his house. 

The only thing he’s responsible for is meeting halfway. But as I’ve said if he drives the kid(s) halfway, that’s dd in his car 2 hours then in mine 2 hours. And me in my own car 4 hrs round trip. 

I forgot to mention dd suffers from car sickness. Sometimes she takes medicine. We’ve had mixed results. She’s thrown up on trips with him to TX. 

[heartlikealion]

20 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

The car breaking down is a possibility. But time with your kids is the here and  now reality.

The last thing I want is to pile on you after what you have been through. But please think this through very carefully. 
 

My aunt was so concerned about my car they told me not to drive to their house at Thanksgiving. Instead we met at a restaurant. 

It’s not just a here and now vs later issue. I’ve known for a while now my car isn’t in the best shape long term due to age and miles etc (sometimes I’ll randomly lose a/c or heat. Death sentence in hot Mississippi). I literally have no money to buy a new car. I need to build back up my auto fund and even that will probably only be enough as an emergency repair thing, not a buy a new car fund. 

Trust me. I am thinking. 

And just fyi (directed at everyone not anyone in particular) dd loves being with her brother and stepbro so doesn’t even act that upset about the current visitation. She’s literally complained to me for picking her up because she didn’t get to ride the van with a classmate or brothers 🙄 It upsets me more than her I think… 

[Rosie_0801]

He's getting you to voluntarily give up time with your kids. Clever, huh?

Keep going until your "I don't want to do all that driving" really becomes "There is no possible way I can do this."

[heartlikealion]

Just now, Rosie_0801 said:

He's getting you to voluntarily give up time with your kids. Clever, huh?

Keep going until your "I don't want to do all that driving" really becomes "There is no possible way I can do this."

I will see dd a minimum of once a month. I already know that. 

[Rosie_0801]

You're allowed to tell your dd that you need to see your kids sometimes because mothers are people too.

[heartlikealion]

Just now, Rosie_0801 said:

You're allowed to tell your dd that you need to see your kids sometimes because mothers are people too.

Yeah. I just meant everyone saying how much it matters. I don’t know how much she feels that. 

[Harriet Vane]

13 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

Yeah. I just meant everyone saying how much it matters. I don’t know how much she feels that. 

Trust us.

She feels it. She will feel it more and more.

Don’t give up one minute of your time with them—it will be much, much harder to get it back later.

[heartlikealion]

Maybe I can make him fork over gas money and trade cars with my dad some weeks. I’ll try to come up with solutions. Sigh

[Spryte]

1 hour ago, Harriet Vane said:

Trust us.

She feels it. She will feel it more and more.

Don’t give up one minute of your time with them—it will be much, much harder to get it back later.

Yes, she will feel it more and more. And if you voluntarily give up time — that’s what she will remember you did when she is a young adult. 

On the flip side, she will also remember if you find solutions and move the mountains to make your visits happen.

I hope you find solutions.

 

 

[Faith-manor]

1 hour ago, heartlikealion said:

I did wonder if I could require him to drive them one way to me sometime but he can’t sleep here and I don’t think they will expect him to drive 4 hrs to drop off then 4 hrs back to his house. 

The only thing he’s responsible for is meeting halfway. But as I’ve said if he drives the kid(s) halfway, that’s dd in his car 2 hours then in mine 2 hours. And me in my own car 4 hrs round trip. 

I forgot to mention dd suffers from car sickness. Sometimes she takes medicine. We’ve had mixed results. She’s thrown up on trips with him to TX. 

It doesn't hurt to ask. I have an acquaintance whose husband moved from Michigan to Iowa, and requested a modification that put all the time and expense on her for transportation. The judge told him that it was his choice to move so he had to suck it up and pay for all of it, and provide all the transportation. States differ, but there isn't any harm in asking.

[heartlikealion]

Ok I will ask 

and I will also see if I can get my dad added into it as an alternative drop off/pick up person. He could bring the kids to his house after school if I’m traveling to him. And/or he could maybe drive to visit me with the kids in tow some time. 

[saraha]

As the kid of an acrimonious divorce, under 10 me was pretty oblivious, then something g flipped a switch when I was  10 and I started noticing visitations and how my parents acted and talked to each other and us etc.  I definitely felt my dads absences even if at the time I was busy, there was a lot of navel gazing that happened over the next three years til he died.

I had a school competition and rode the bus with my classmates. It was a weekend I was supposed to be with my dad. Only parents helping out went. My dad showed up with younger siblings in tow to a competition hours away from home to see me on our weekend and watch the competition. At the time I was 12 and supremely embarrassed. Now it is one of my favorite memories of him of all time. He even brought me pop tarts as per our weekend ritual. At the time I acted like a punk kid, but as we rode home from the competition together, I realized how great it was to have him be there to see us do well. From his perspective though, I was a punk kid who didn’t appreciate the effort at the time. I promise, all of the effort you are putting into your kids, it makes a difference. Just like with all parents, sometimes our kids do t appreciate us or our investment in them, but they will. My older kids are all the time telling me how much they appreciate (now) the sacrifices we made and the work we put in. It will come.

Hugs for you

[Rosie_0801]

Kids can do a lot of compartmentalising, but eventually it leaks out.

[Scarlett]

2 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

Ok I will ask 

and I will also see if I can get my dad added into it as an alternative drop off/pick up person. He could bring the kids to his house after school if I’m traveling to him. And/or he could maybe drive to visit me with the kids in tow some time. 

There you go. Already thinking of ways to make it work. 
 

Not this  minute but I hope you will put serious effort into moving there. 

Edited December 28, 2022 by Scarlett

[heartlikealion]

1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

There you go. Already thinking of ways to make it work. 
 

Not this  minute but I hope you will put serious effort into moving there. 

Nothing is set in stone but I also don’t want to send a message I’ll just follow him anytime he moves. Especially with no discussion. Wouldn’t be surprised if he stays there one semester, doesn’t land a job, can’t afford to stay, and moves again! There’s a reason we didn’t live in the town by the grandparents. The math didn’t work. 

[hshibley]

Just now, heartlikealion said:

Nothing is set in stone but I also don’t want to send a message I’ll just follow him anytime he moves. Especially with no discussion. Wouldn’t be surprised if he stays there one semester, doesn’t land a job, can’t afford to stay, and moves again! There’s a reason we didn’t live in the town by the grandparents. The math didn’t work. 

This is not about your xh it’s your children. You need to change your mindset. It’s the kids period. 

[heartlikealion]

1 minute ago, hshibley said:

This is not about your xh it’s your children. You need to change your mindset. It’s the kids period. 

Yeah well it’s complicated. Moving near them does not guarantee more time with them. But it does guarantee a hike in rent. 

Edited December 28, 2022 by heartlikealion

[heartlikealion]

Respectfully, it’s not all about the kids either. My mental and emotional health matters, too. I can’t be the best parent if I don’t balance it. 

[Rosie_0801]

Just now, heartlikealion said:

Respectfully, it’s not all about the kids either. My mental and emotional health matters, too. I can’t be the best parent if I don’t balance it. 

Not to mention we have to save for our old age, since there is no guarantee our kids will be able to support us even if they want to.

[heartlikealion]

Just now, Rosie_0801 said:

Not to mention we have to save for our old age, since there is no guarantee our kids will be able to support us even if they want to.

I barely make ends meet now. Rent there or near their city is significantly more. And my current job has no retirement plan. 

[Scarlett]

54 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

Nothing is set in stone but I also don’t want to send a message I’ll just follow him anytime he moves. Especially with no discussion. Wouldn’t be surprised if he stays there one semester, doesn’t land a job, can’t afford to stay, and moves again! There’s a reason we didn’t live in the town by the grandparents. The math didn’t work. 

Yes, I agree you need to wait a minutes and see what shakes out for your xh, job wise.  

[Scarlett]

And yes of course you matter too.  

[heartlikealion]

Housing came up in conversation and I explained to the kids that I’m in a year lease and cannot move closer to them anytime soon. I also said I can’t afford that area. Ds volunteered what their rent is… it’s $550 more a month than I pay!!! And I think both adults are currently unemployed… maybe they are using money from selling the TX house??  The math ain’t mathing. 

Edited December 28, 2022 by heartlikealion

[heartlikealion]

Oh we made it to the smash place today. An adult was required in the room so I joined him and broke a couple things but left the rest for him. 
I’m glad we have this memory. 

[Soror]

I'm so glad you got a fun outing with your ds.

I *really* hope that there are repercussions for your dh moving without even a heads up. If there is a way to nail his ass to the wall and make him cough up some money or bring them to you I hope your lawyer can make it happen.

I agree with the other ladies I wouldn't give up a weekend without moving heaven and earth. It completely and entirely stinks. XDh is a royal d-bag and keeps thinking of new ways to screw you over. Unfortunately, the kids often don't see that. 

Huge, huge hugs

[heartlikealion]

I’ll try. Dd gets car sick so that’s one reason I hate to make her sit in a car but sometimes I think she should come to my home as opposed to only seeing me at my dad’s. 

Last night was a pleasant outing and we went out to eat afterwards. Today we’re supposed to see Puss n Boots. 

[freesia]

13 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

I’ll try. Dd gets car sick so that’s one reason I hate to make her sit in a car but sometimes I think she should come to my home as opposed to only seeing me at my dad’s. 

Last night was a pleasant outing and we went out to eat afterwards. Today we’re supposed to see Puss n Boots. 

Yes, she does need to be at your house. It needs to be home. As hard as it is, I agree that you need to not drop any of the custody time. It’s crazy to me that he can take away the mid-week time like that. I didn’t know that could still happen.   I’m so sorry. 

[marbel]

I'm sorry, Heart. I didn't realize a parent could move children so far away from the other parent without agreement. All I can send are hugs and the hope that you/your lawyer will find a way to make it work to spend time with your kids. I agree with others who have said it's very important to have as much time as possible with them, and for them to see you making the effort - for them to know that you want to see them, and will do whatever you can to do so. 💗

[Drama Llama]

@heartlikealion, I am so sorry you are in this situation!  It sounds so hard.

I wonder if you have a problem that I have, according to the lawyers in my life, which is that I still have empathy for my husband, so I look at every situation from both sides and start from the point of asking for what I think is fair to both of us, while he's just asking for what he wants, or even what he thinks might annoy the heck out of me, and then when we negotiate a compromise between the two positions, it's not really middle ground, it's more like halfway between a reasonable middle ground (what I proposed) and his fantasy.  

So, for example, I wanted to take my kids to see my mom for Thanksgiving.  Something, I will note, that we did every year before things got topsy turvy here.  I know that he wanted the kids at home, in part because he doesn't like us traveling, and in part because he hates my mom, and in part because he wanted Thanksgiving with his kids.   So, I proposed that we go for just one night, and that we schedule it so that he can also take them to his family's Thanksgiving.  I thought this was a reasonable, even generous plan.  He then had a fit about that reasonable plan.  I wished I'd initially proposed that we travel for their whole break, and then when he said "No, I don't want that", I could have said "OK, so I'm willing to compromise and stay one night, so their time with my mom is limited and they can make it to your family Thanksgiving." It might have been seen as a generous compromise, but instead the same solution was seen as me "getting my way" and him being generous because he "allowed it".

What if you started with what you actually want?  "I am not willing to lose a minute with my kids, and I expect visitation to happen at my house.  I should not bear the burden of the financial costs of this move, including gas, and wear on tear on my car.  I propose that ExH provide 100% of transportation for visits every other weekend, and that the 52 midweek visits be exchanged for 52 additional days, which I will take as 9 extra days of Christmas Break, 7 extra days of Spring Break, and 6 extra weeks during the summer.  In addition, since this means that I have the kids on days when I am working, I am asking that child support be adjusted so that I can afford a quality summer camp for them during those 6 weeks." 

Now will you get that?  No, but you might end up closer to it than if you don't ask.  

Plus, even if what you get is no different than what you are proposing above, one day, when your kids are looking back with some more maturity and wondering what happened, and they pull up the court records they'll see in writing that you wanted them.  That you asked for them.  That your time with them mattered to you.  

[heartlikealion]

3 minutes ago, BandH said:

@heartlikealion, I am so sorry you are in this situation!  It sounds so hard.

I wonder if you have a problem that I have, according to the lawyers in my life, which is that I still have empathy for my husband, so I look at every situation from both sides and start from the point of asking for what I think is fair to both of us, while he's just asking for what he wants, or even what he thinks might annoy the heck out of me, and then when we negotiate a compromise between the two positions, it's not really middle ground, it's more like halfway between a reasonable middle ground (what I proposed) and his fantasy.  

So, for example, I wanted to take my kids to see my mom for Thanksgiving.  Something, I will note, that we did every year before things got topsy turvy here.  I know that he wanted the kids at home, in part because he doesn't like us traveling, and in part because he hates my mom, and in part because he wanted Thanksgiving with his kids.   So, I proposed that we go for just one night, and that we schedule it so that he can also take them to his family's Thanksgiving.  I thought this was a reasonable, even generous plan.  He then had a fit about that reasonable plan.  I wished I'd initially proposed that we travel for their whole break, and then when he said "No, I don't want that", I could have said "OK, so I'm willing to compromise and stay one night, so their time with my mom is limited and they can make it to your family Thanksgiving." It might have been seen as a generous compromise, but instead the same solution was seen as me "getting my way" and him being generous because he "allowed it".

What if you started with what you actually want?  "I am not willing to lose a minute with my kids, and I expect visitation to happen at my house.  I should not bear the burden of the financial costs of this move, including gas, and wear on tear on my car.  I propose that ExH provide 100% of transportation for visits every other weekend, and that the 52 midweek visits be exchanged for 52 additional days, which I will take as 9 extra days of Christmas Break, 7 extra days of Spring Break, and 6 extra weeks during the summer.  In addition, since this means that I have the kids on days when I am working, I am asking that child support be adjusted so that I can afford a quality summer camp for them during those 6 weeks." 

Now will you get that?  No, but you might end up closer to it than if you don't ask.  

Plus, even if what you get is no different than what you are proposing above, one day, when your kids are looking back with some more maturity and wondering what happened, and they pull up the court records they'll see in writing that you wanted them.  That you asked for them.  That your time with them mattered to you.  

Yeah I can relate. Good points. 

I don’t know if documents will show what I asked for, maybe just the final settlement. Unless you mean things like emails. 

I don’t have much sympathy for him but in general I try to be a fair person. I think karma is already working on him. I bet he’s had to drop out of his doctorate program again. He’s having to load up a UHaul or cars and make a few trips to get everything to his new home. I don’t know if his wife’s car is paid off but I know he has a car note on his. If they aren’t employed yet they are probably very stressed with that new rent. 

If he rushed the wedding for the sake of faculty housing and appearances, that was a huge mistake. He’s made his new wife move twice in the past couple months (she originally moved in with him in Oct) and made his stepson enter 2 new schools (the private one in Oct and now a public one in Jan). He’s probably eaten a ton of school tuition because if you withdraw and paid in full then you only get a small percentage back this late in the year. I know he prepaid for our kids (for the discount). I don’t know how much they paid for stepson. 

So as crappy as my situation is, I’m glad I’m not in his shoes or hers. 

I have social circles here I’ve been developing. I joined a trivia team, I sometimes play pickleball with others, I have a free YMCA membership through my job so occasionally go there to swim etc, I have reconnected with several homeschool moms that have also left toxic relationships/divorced, I have a boyfriend, I’m friends with my neighbors (we talk all the time) and I have nice landlords. 

I am starting a side job (very small amount of money but will help with bills or child support) that should go into effect in Jan. The background check cleared etc in Dec but they haven’t assigned me anything yet. I’ll be running social media for another organization so this is a second remote job. Not sure if they’ll need me to show up in person sometimes to take photos, though. 

So when I think of moving there are a lot of things that roll through my mind like, “no!! Things are just picking up for me.” I’ll re-evaluate in several months. 

[Drama Llama]

1 hour ago, heartlikealion said:

Yeah I can relate. Good points. 

I don’t know if documents will show what I asked for, maybe just the final settlement. Unless you mean things like emails. 

I don’t have much sympathy for him but in general I try to be a fair person. I think karma is already working on him. I bet he’s had to drop out of his doctorate program again. He’s having to load up a UHaul or cars and make a few trips to get everything to his new home. I don’t know if his wife’s car is paid off but I know he has a car note on his. If they aren’t employed yet they are probably very stressed with that new rent. 

If he rushed the wedding for the sake of faculty housing and appearances, that was a huge mistake. He’s made his new wife move twice in the past couple months (she originally moved in with him in Oct) and made his stepson enter 2 new schools (the private one in Oct and now a public one in Jan). He’s probably eaten a ton of school tuition because if you withdraw and paid in full then you only get a small percentage back this late in the year. I know he prepaid for our kids (for the discount). I don’t know how much they paid for stepson. 

So as crappy as my situation is, I’m glad I’m not in his shoes or hers. 

I have social circles here I’ve been developing. I joined a trivia team, I sometimes play pickleball with others, I have a free YMCA membership through my job so occasionally go there to swim etc, I have reconnected with several homeschool moms that have also left toxic relationships/divorced, I have a boyfriend, I’m friends with my neighbors (we talk all the time) and I have nice landlords. 

I am starting a side job (very small amount of money but will help with bills or child support) that should go into effect in Jan. The background check cleared etc in Dec but they haven’t assigned me anything yet. I’ll be running social media for another organization so this is a second remote job. Not sure if they’ll need me to show up in person sometimes to take photos, though. 

So when I think of moving there are a lot of things that roll through my mind like, “no!! Things are just picking up for me.” I’ll re-evaluate in several months. 

Your filings will be part of the record.  I don’t know if the kids are considered parties who can request them.  I wouldn’t put it past your exH to print something out and show it to your son as evidence that you didn’t really want him.

I think you have done a much better job than I have of self care and building a network of support.  You are a role model for me in that!  I mean that very seriously.

I don’t think you should move right now.  Maybe if the custody modification goes badly and they are settled there permanently, it will be the right decision but there is too much up in the air.  I also think that if things are as bad for him as you say it’s possible that this may end with you having primary custody.

I would also be aware of the possibility that with a negative change in his income and an increase in his number of dependents, at the same time your income is increasing, he will have grounds for asking your child support to him to be increased.  That is another reason to have it documented by the court that his move is burdening you with extra expenses (childcare, transportation).

Good luck!

[AmandaVT]

Does your state have a law against moving kids more than a certain number of miles without consent from the other parent? Vermont has this: "In Vermont, a custodial parent is free to relocate without court approval, but only if the move will not substantially impair the other parent's rights and responsibilities with the child." 

The stunt your ex pulled wouldn't be allowed in many places, I don't think. 

[AmandaVT]

OK - saw you're in MS. I found this: "

The parent that wants to move away and take the children must notify the other parent with plenty of advance warning. Although many states have very specific notice requirements, Mississippi does not. The most important thing is that if the non-relocating parent objects to the move, then the parent who wants to move has to go to court and ask the judge to change custody. If the court does change custody or allows a parent to move, it's likely the judge will also divide up each parent's financial responsibility for any costs incurred as a result of the new custody and visitation plan.

Don't move away with your kids when your ex disagrees and the court hasn't ruled yet. Consult a lawyer first."

 

It sounds like he's out of compliance. 

[heartlikealion]

2 minutes ago, BandH said:

Your filings will be part of the record.  I don’t know if the kids are considered parties who can request them.  I wouldn’t put it past your exH to print something out and show it to your son as evidence that you didn’t really want him.

I think you have done a much better job than I have of self care and building a network of support.  You are a role model for me in that!  I mean that very seriously.

I don’t think you should move right now.  Maybe if the custody modification goes badly and they are settled there permanently, it will be the right decision but there is too much up in the air.  I also think that if things are as bad for him as you say it’s possible that this may end with you having primary custody.

I would also be aware of the possibility that with a negative change in his income and an increase in his number of dependents, at the same time your income is increasing, he will have grounds for asking your child support to him to be increased.  That is another reason to have it documented by the court that his move is burdening you with extra expenses (childcare, transportation).

Good luck!

He can’t ask for more money. I mean he shouldn’t get it because our settlement says I need to make a minimum of X dollars in order to increase my child support. I’m no where near it. If he lands a job in his field it will pay less than what he was making, but with all kids in school his wife should be able to work and help offset that. 

Oh I see but in the past our discussions/negotiations don’t have filings attached all the time. It’s like I ask my lawyer something, he asks the other lawyer.. then they draw up final result. But it’s done via email or the two lawyers talking. 

[heartlikealion]

4 minutes ago, AmandaVT said:

Does your state have a law against moving kids more than a certain number of miles without consent from the other parent? Vermont has this: "In Vermont, a custodial parent is free to relocate without court approval, but only if the move will not substantially impair the other parent's rights and responsibilities with the child." 

The stunt your ex pulled wouldn't be allowed in many places, I don't think. 

I could never get a solid answer on that. I’ll ask my lawyer at our upcoming meeting. But a girlfriend thought it was something like over 150 or 200 miles. He surpassed that. 

[heartlikealion]

2 minutes ago, AmandaVT said:

OK - saw you're in MS. I found this: "

The parent that wants to move away and take the children must notify the other parent with plenty of advance warning. Although many states have very specific notice requirements, Mississippi does not. The most important thing is that if the non-relocating parent objects to the move, then the parent who wants to move has to go to court and ask the judge to change custody. If the court does change custody or allows a parent to move, it's likely the judge will also divide up each parent's financial responsibility for any costs incurred as a result of the new custody and visitation plan.

Don't move away with your kids when your ex disagrees and the court hasn't ruled yet. Consult a lawyer first."

 

It sounds like he's out of compliance. 

I saw the same online but my lawyer said basically he can still get away with it because he’s tie breaker/has full custody. If we had a discussion about education, my thoughts wouldn’t matter. Same with the move apparently. Super crappy.

I do intend to ask for some financial recourse but I’m not holding my breath. I’ve been screwed over and over (like no alimony).