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meal ideas for funeral dinners


Elizabeth86
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My uncle passed away this weekend and we took food to his kids. His funeral hasn’t been yet and his wife is still in ICU, so the family has a lot going on right now. My mom and I want to take them another dinner later this week. What are the best meals for this situation? I want things that take little effort for the family such as leaving chili in the crockpot for everyone to grab a bowl and stuff that tastes great reheated. 

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I am helping with a funeral meal on Thursday at the deceased's home and we are doing ham, potatoes, salad, and dessert.  We are also  sending along to go containers for storage and for others to take home leftovers.  We usually add fried chicken and green beans to the menu but this is situation is different so we are simplifying everything. 

I think chili is good because it is also freezable.  It is so sweet of you to do this and I am sure it will mean a lot to the family! 

 

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My favorite meal that someone brought when my dad died was an assortment of fried seafoods and hush puppies.  Which probably wouldn’t go over well everywhere but on the Gulf Coast it was great. 
 

What was nice about it: 

-regionally appropriate comfort food

-small, easy to eat with fingers comfort food

-plenty of calories and protein. No one felt like eating but we needed to and a snack plate full of those foods was satisfying for most of the day. 

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One thing that can help also is bringing breakfast. You still need to eat when grieving and it can be hard first thing in the morning when you wake up feeling so overwhelmed. Ready to eat things like banana bread, zucchini bread, a breakfast casserole that has already been cooked so all you have to do is reheat it.

For dinner, soup can be comforting. My husband's cousin brought us chicken noodle soup when my grandfather died and it was so good and comforting. It's not even my favorite soup but it felt so right. 

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Breakfast is a good idea-- on the day of the funeral, someone brought us homemade cinnamon rolls, a mix of berries and melon cubes in a bowl along with some (unpeeled, bagged) clementines, and some (individual) yogurts and granola bars. It was very much appreciated. There was something there for everyone.  Food was the last thing on our mind, but we needed it especially on that day.

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I like to bring things they can eat now OR stash in the freezer for when the meal deliveries stop. A tray of lasagna, enchiladas, or meatloaf packaged for the freezer with clear reheating instructions. Veggie soup is my preferred cold weather vegetable side and I think it goes with everything all winter long. 

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Seconding a breakfast casserole or just bagels and cream cheese and fruit (if you can find the cream cheese, that is). A nice set up for sandwiches with lunch meat, cheese, and toppings with a couple of bread types is also a good pick. Easy to stick in the fridge, lasts a few days, no work to reheat or figure out.

However, if you know lots of people are bringing food, I'd bring things that are easy frozen in containers that can be frozen, like soups, stews, and casseroles. 

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I don't send an actual meal since it seems like people get overwhelmed with so much food being brought over but I like to bring lots of healthy/snacky foods that will hold them over if they don't feel like sitting down for a meal or don't have time - bagels (as mentioned above) with cream cheese, fresh fruits (usually apples and clementines), nuts, granola or protein bars, muffins, etc.  Some treats too like cookies or whatever.  I sent mini bagels once and the husband of the couple said he loved those.  I like the idea of sending over sandwich stuff too.

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Comfort foods and things that will easy to reheat/reheat well, or Don’t require reheating at all.  A tray of cheese and deli meat, for example.  I think chili sounds great.

 Just go easy on the sweets. Everyone brings sweet stuff, it seems like around here. Which is fine until it’s all you’ve got left, and you’re tired and grieving and supper still needs made.

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3 minutes ago, Emba said:

Comfort foods and things that will easy to reheat/reheat well, or Don’t require reheating at all.  A tray of cheese and deli meat, for example.  I think chili sounds great.

 Just go easy on the sweets. Everyone brings sweet stuff, it seems like around here. Which is fine until it’s all you’ve got left, and you’re tired and grieving and supper still needs made.

Yes! My mom wanted to bring sweats and I reminded her I was stuck with stale cookies from the last family funeral so we opted for individually wrapped sweets.

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The best funeral meal I have ever had was someone brought fried chicken, mashed potatoes, potato salad, some veggies and biscuits. It was a delight. We had gotten so many ham dishes and funeral potatoes.  
 

Just please label anything food you bring.  To this day, I have no idea what someone dropped off.  It looked like fish but wasn’t fish and tasted like stinky tennis shoes. 

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Based on the need for meals for the family to have at the house as they come & go while still having a family member hospitalized and not on needed to feed a crowd for a sit down or buffet meal:

How about some deli meat, cheese & some sandwich rolls? It's also nice to have breakfast foods that are easy & portable in situations like this - bagels, cream cheese, peanut butter, breakfast pastries, for example. If you can, they might find paper plates, disposable glasses, paper towel and toilet paper helpful. Those are big time savers in stressful situations & toilet paper is something that can be easily overlooked on a quick store run, but is greatly needed.

Edited by TechWife
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8 minutes ago, TechWife said:

 If you can, they might find paper plates, disposable glasses, paper towel and toilet paper helpful. Those are big time savers in stressful situations & toilet paper is something that can be easily overlooked on a quick store run, but is greatly needed.

 

seconding this.  it was quite helpful in my family for funerals

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When my mom was dying and all four of us kids were at her house, the thing we really appreciated was the Honey-baked ham and rolls that someone brought over--we just made sandwiches as needed. Fresh fruit was also good--anything kind of healthy was appreciated. Our generation (and we aren't that young--forties at the time) does not really do the heavy casserole dishes that were still pretty popular with my mom's generation (ie her friends, the ones bringing a lot of the food).

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6 hours ago, Zoo Keeper said:

Breakfast is a good idea-- on the day of the funeral, someone brought us homemade cinnamon rolls, a mix of berries and melon cubes in a bowl along with some (unpeeled, bagged) clementines, and some (individual) yogurts and granola bars. It was very much appreciated. There was something there for everyone.  Food was the last thing on our mind, but we needed it especially on that day.

This is what I do, muffins, fruit, etc because lots of people bring dinner foods. When my dad died when I was a kid, my mom was overwhelmed with dinners. While nice, it was stressful trying to figure out what to do with it all when we ran out of room in the fridge and freezer. The one thing that stuck in my mind was how surprised/happy she was with the lady that brought muffins, bananas, granola bars and boiled eggs because then us kids could just help ourselves for breakfast and she could sleep. So since then I have always brought breakfast foods that don’t have to be stored in the fridge.

Edited by saraha
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13 hours ago, TechWife said:

Based on the need for meals for the family to have at the house as they come & go while still having a family member hospitalized and not on needed to feed a crowd for a sit down or buffet meal:

How about some deli meat, cheese & some sandwich rolls? It's also nice to have breakfast foods that are easy & portable in situations like this - bagels, cream cheese, peanut butter, breakfast pastries, for example. If you can, they might find paper plates, disposable glasses, paper towel and toilet paper helpful. Those are big time savers in stressful situations & toilet paper is something that can be easily overlooked on a quick store run, but is greatly needed.

Yes!

And some folks do this but others don’t think about it - whatever you send, send it in disposable pans. I was on bed rest with a pregnancy and while deeply grateful for those who brought meals, it was kind of a pain to try to keep straight who dishes belonged to. 
 

Also agreeing with those who said breakfast foods and paper goods, those are so appreciated. 

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15 hours ago, athena1277 said:

When my dad died, one of my mom’s friends dropped off one of those precooked rotisserie chickens.  It was great because it can be eaten as is, or cut up and put in other easy dishes.  

I was going to recommend rotisserie chicken too.  It can be made into great sandwiches, or just sliced and eaten.  Maybe with a side of mashed potatoes and a loaf of good bread.

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