3/5 are dead - venting.

[Corraleno]

16 hours ago, Murphy101 said:

And I just got a text from my brother that his 5 month old grandson is in icu.  RSV, rhinovirus and covid. 

That is just heartbreaking. 😢 I’m so sorry. 
 

[Not_a_Number]

17 hours ago, Murphy101 said:

And I just got a text from my brother that his 5 month old grandson is in icu.  RSV, rhinovirus and covid. 

Oh gosh 😞 . I hope he recovers quickly.

[Spryte]

Oh no.  It’s just unimaginable.  Will be thinking of all of you.

[Longtime Lurker]

I am so sorry.

[Sneezyone]

Ugh. Can I commiserate? I just got off the phone with my dad, talking about our visit, and he confirmed the lack of vaccinations. Apparently, he thinks zinc, masks, and his Rx steroids are sufficient protection. My sister is upset b/c her 9mo can't be vaccinated and she feels like dad is disregarding her concerns. Dad and stepmom (retired) are out and about ALL.THE.TIME. mixing and mingling with working adults/kids so tons of community contacts. In fact, when I spoke to him they were at a football game. I had to talk my sister down from the ledge b/c she still thinks she can influence his decision-making. She can't. I can't. At least not from out of state. I'm hoping we can convince them to take a COVID test before sister/niece arrive and maintain a bubble while we visit. Even that will be asking a lot. Le sigh. My dad/stepmom told me today that they didn't think babies could get really sick. I had to inform them that, yes, BABIES AND PREGNANT WOMEN ARE DYING OF COVID. Le sigh. Of note, their son in law died of COVID last year.

Edited August 14, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Katy]

How’s the baby doing today?

[Innisfree]

6 minutes ago, Katy said:

How’s the baby doing today?

I've been wondering, too.

[KSera]

21 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

Ugh. Can I commiserate? I just got off the phone with my dad, talking about our visit, and he confirmed the lack of vaccinations. Apparently, he thinks zinc, masks, and his Rx steroids are sufficient protection. My sister is upset b/c her 9mo can't be vaccinated and she feels like dad is disregarding her concerns. Dad and stepmom (retired) are out and about ALL.THE.TIME. mixing and mingling with working adults/kids so tons of community contacts. In fact, when I spoke to him they were at a football game. I had to talk my sister down from the ledge b/c she still thinks she can influence his decision-making. She can't. I can't. At least not from out of state. I'm hoping we can convince them to take a COVID test before sister/niece arrive and maintain a bubble while we visit. Even that will be asking a lot. Le sigh. My dad/stepmom told me today that they didn't think babies could get really sick. I had to inform them that, yes, BABIES AND PREGNANT WOMEN ARE DYING OF COVID. Le sigh. Of note, their son in law died of COVID last year.

This is so frustrating. I forgot where they are, except that I think it’s somewhere high risk. Is it too hot wherever it is to keep all visiting outside? We just had to say no to MIL coming for a visit. Things are too risky right now and I have unvaccinated kids. I hate to be the bad guy, and am frustrated that because she thinks it’s not a problem for kids (she forwarded an article about that), that we have gotten pressure to put them at risk so she can visit. 

[lauraw4321]

Prayers for the baby. How terrifying. 

[Sneezyone]

8 minutes ago, KSera said:

This is so frustrating. I forgot where they are, except that I think it’s somewhere high risk. Is it too hot wherever it is to keep all visiting outside? We just had to say no to MIL coming for a visit. Things are too risky right now and I have unvaccinated kids. I hate to be the bad guy, and am frustrated that because she thinks it’s not a problem for kids (she forwarded an article about that), that we have gotten pressure to put them at risk so she can visit. 

It's not SUPER high risk. They're in SoCal. The biggest risk is us flying out to see them. They have a big social circle locally tho b/c my stepmom's family is big and public-facing. I agree it is frustrating. They seriously didn't know that children's hospitals are filling up. My dad blamed the Gov.'s in FL and AR. I'm like, Dad, we're flying through AR and TX. Same, same. I feel like I may need to enlist my older brother to smooth the waters before all this is over.

Edited August 14, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Innisfree]

5 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

It's not SUPER high risk. They're in SoCal. The biggest risk is us flying out to see them. They have a big social circle locally tho b/c my stepmom's family is big and public-facing. I agree it is frustrating. They seriously didn't know that children's hospitals are filling up. My dad blamed the Gov.'s in FL and AR. I'm like, Dad, we're flying through AR and TX. Same, same. I feel like I may need to enlist my older brother to smooth the waters before all this is over.

This was posted in another thread. I wondered if it might help when you talk with your dad. Hope the trip ends up going well for all of you.

 

[Not_a_Number]

45 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

Ugh. Can I commiserate? I just got off the phone with my dad, talking about our visit, and he confirmed the lack of vaccinations. Apparently, he thinks zinc, masks, and his Rx steroids are sufficient protection. My sister is upset b/c her 9mo can't be vaccinated and she feels like dad is disregarding her concerns. Dad and stepmom (retired) are out and about ALL.THE.TIME. mixing and mingling with working adults/kids so tons of community contacts. In fact, when I spoke to him they were at a football game. I had to talk my sister down from the ledge b/c she still thinks she can influence his decision-making. She can't. I can't. At least not from out of state. I'm hoping we can convince them to take a COVID test before sister/niece arrive and maintain a bubble while we visit. Even that will be asking a lot. Le sigh. My dad/stepmom told me today that they didn't think babies could get really sick. I had to inform them that, yes, BABIES AND PREGNANT WOMEN ARE DYING OF COVID. Le sigh. Of note, their son in law died of COVID last year.

How... how... can they possibly not draw the obvious conclusions here? 😕 

[Sneezyone]

12 minutes ago, Innisfree said:

This was posted in another thread. I wondered if it might help when you talk with your dad. Hope the trip ends up going well for all of you.

 

Yes. I explained this to him and that's when he blamed the Governors. I just...ugh. It's really, REALLY hard. He's my dad...how much push back can you give while being respectful? My sister wants to make some memories. I do too. I'm just worried, both about *us* bringing the virus to him with our travel and *them* giving the virus to my niece. I also mentioned that the CDC just updated the recommendations to include THREE doses for people like him. He said he'd heard. His mind is unchanged. TBH, if I were my sis, I wouldn't go but I know that would be devastating for my dad. He loves babies and didn't think my sister would ever have one. She's asked them to do a COVID test 48 hrs prior to her arrival and limit contacts until arrival. That may be the best we can do.

Edited August 14, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Innisfree]

2 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

Yes. I explained this to him and that's when he blamed the Governors. I just...ugh. It's really, REALLY hard. He's my dad...how much push back can you give while being respectful? My sister wants to make some memories. I do too. I'm just worried, both about *us* bringing the virus to him with our travel and *them* giving the virus to my niece. I also mentioned that the CDC just updated the recommendations to include THREE doses for people like him. He said he'd heard. His mind is unchanged.

Ugh. I'm sorry. All you can do is try, and you've done that. Hope you can still enjoy the time together.

[Murphy101]

54 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

Ugh. Can I commiserate? I just got off the phone with my dad, talking about our visit, and he confirmed the lack of vaccinations. Apparently, he thinks zinc, masks, and his Rx steroids are sufficient protection. My sister is upset b/c her 9mo can't be vaccinated and she feels like dad is disregarding her concerns. Dad and stepmom (retired) are out and about ALL.THE.TIME. mixing and mingling with working adults/kids so tons of community contacts. In fact, when I spoke to him they were at a football game. I had to talk my sister down from the ledge b/c she still thinks she can influence his decision-making. She can't. I can't. At least not from out of state. I'm hoping we can convince them to take a COVID test before sister/niece arrive and maintain a bubble while we visit. Even that will be asking a lot. Le sigh. My dad/stepmom told me today that they didn't think babies could get really sick. I had to inform them that, yes, BABIES AND PREGNANT WOMEN ARE DYING OF COVID. Le sigh. Of note, their son in law died of COVID last year.

I wouldn’t go.  This years covid is to babies and young children what covid was to fragile elderly last year  

https://www.npr.org/2021/08/14/1027663917/rsv-covid-children?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=news_tab&utm_content=algorithm

 

53 minutes ago, Katy said:

How’s the baby doing today?

Same.

[Sneezyone]

25 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

I wouldn’t go.  This years covid is to babies and young children what covid was to fragile elderly last year  

https://www.npr.org/2021/08/14/1027663917/rsv-covid-children?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=news_tab&utm_content=algorithm

 

Same.

You're right. In six months, vaccinations for younger kids may well be available and then she can travel with less fear. Sadly, given my dad's opinions, he may not live that long. That's the risk we're dealing with.

[Happy2BaMom]

22 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

I wouldn’t go.  This years covid is to babies and young children what covid was to fragile elderly last year  

https://www.npr.org/2021/08/14/1027663917/rsv-covid-children?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=news_tab&utm_content=algorithm

 

Same.

I wouldn’t go if I was your sister, either. Or go and leave the baby with someone at home. No offense to your dad, but he doesn’t sound like he’d take the “limiting contacts” thing seriously. 
 

There are babies being intubated due to Covid.

Your dad loses the privilege of seeing his grandchild when he decides that his ideology trumps the baby’s health risks.

(Side note: would he & your MIL agree to fully mask whenever around the baby?….I’m going to guess not….)

[MEmama]

9 minutes ago, Happy2BaMom said:

I wouldn’t go if I was your sister, either. Or go and leave the baby with someone at home. No offense to your dad, but he doesn’t sound like he’d take the “limiting contacts” thing seriously. 
 

There are babies being intubated due to Covid.

Your dad loses the privilege of seeing his grandchild when he decides that his ideology trumps the baby’s health risks.

(Side note: would he & your MIL agree to fully mask whenever around the baby?….I’m going to guess not….)

Yup. The only reason my in-laws got vaccinated was because they were denied access to their grandkids if they didn’t. It was hard for DH and his brother to lay down the law, but it worked.
 

I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. 😞 

[Murphy101]

19 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

You're right. In six months, vaccinations for younger kids may well be available and then she can travel with less fear. Sadly, given my dad's opinions, he may not live that long. That's the risk we're dealing with.

I’d say it’s a hard choice but for me it just isn’t. Hands down no hesitation my kids trump everyone else. And any parent or grandparent should understand that. I guess if they don’t, it makes it an easier decision. 

But honestly we wouldn’t be able to afford to go regardless of covid anyways.  We are currently having to explain to an elderly grandma that her absolute insistence on living 8 hours away from her nearest next of kin means she’s probably going to die lonely and alone. She needs home health and to not live on her own but she’s adamant that she won’t move at all and for sure as hell not to assisted living. So. That’s her bad choice. We can’t all just take off work to live with her and her church is a crap.  She’s been an active founding member and major financial contributor for 50 years and they haven’t so much as brought one meal to her.  I feel for her but her demands are unreasonable on every level.

[Sneezyone]

Just now, Murphy101 said:

I’d say it’s a hard choice but for me it just isn’t. Hands down no hesitation my kids trump everyone else. And any parent or grandparent should understand that. I guess if they don’t, it makes it an easier decision. 

But honestly we wouldn’t be able to afford to go regardless of covid anyways.  We are currently having to explain to an elderly grandma that her absolute insistence on living 8 hours away from her nearest next of kin means she’s probably going to die lonely and alone. She needs home health and to not live on her own but she’s adamant that she won’t move at all and for sure as hell not to assisted living. So. That’s her bad choice. We can’t all just take off work to live with her and her church is a crap.  She’s been an active founding member and major financial contributor for 50 years and they haven’t so much as brought one meal to her.  I feel for her but her demands are unreasonable on every level.

Yeah, this is super tough. My dad is 75, not in great health, and THE WORLD'S BEST Grandpa (fight me for this one, lol!). He's also neck-deep in conservative social media (sorry, not sorry) and it's warped his view of reality. I've been watching this happen for 25 years. My sister says she still plans to come on the trip, mostly to see me and my kids (who developed a relationship with him pre-covid and cray), but I've also alerted my brother to be a backstop in case things go south. I don't know what it is about old age. I may get there myself some day. My *ONLY* comfort is that if my Dad/Stepmom go out it's on their own terms and they won't be taking me or my kids with them.

[Murphy101]

3 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

 My *ONLY* comfort is that if my Dad/Stepmom go out it's on their own terms and they won't be taking me or my kids with them.

Pretty much.  It’s a cold comfort but we work with what they give us. 

[Sneezyone]

32 minutes ago, Happy2BaMom said:

I wouldn’t go if I was your sister, either. Or go and leave the baby with someone at home. No offense to your dad, but he doesn’t sound like he’d take the “limiting contacts” thing seriously. 
 

There are babies being intubated due to Covid.

Your dad loses the privilege of seeing his grandchild when he decides that his ideology trumps the baby’s health risks.

(Side note: would he & your MIL agree to fully mask whenever around the baby?….I’m going to guess not….)

I agree. I know this is true. Full masking around baby for Dad/Stepmom...no. Sister would be  more comfy that way but it's highly unlikely. I would do it if she asked. I see baby on FaceTime all the time tho. We have a bond, lol. My Dad is an old school huggy-type. He would not like that and be very resentful.

Edited August 14, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Faith-manor]

1 hour ago, Sneezyone said:

Yes. I explained this to him and that's when he blamed the Governors. I just...ugh. It's really, REALLY hard. He's my dad...how much push back can you give while being respectful? My sister wants to make some memories. I do too. I'm just worried, both about *us* bringing the virus to him with our travel and *them* giving the virus to my niece. I also mentioned that the CDC just updated the recommendations to include THREE doses for people like him. He said he'd heard. His mind is unchanged. TBH, if I were my sis, I wouldn't go but I know that would be devastating for my dad. He loves babies and didn't think my sister would ever have one. She's asked them to do a COVID test 48 hrs prior to her arrival and limit contacts until arrival. That may be the best we can do.

I am so, so sorry! I know this will be emotionally horrible to think he might get and die, and not see that baby. But, the baby must be protected. I hope you can get your sister to see reason and stay away.

💓💓💓

[Sneezyone]

50 minutes ago, Faith-manor said:

I am so, so sorry! I know this will be emotionally horrible to think he might get and die, and not see that baby. But, the baby must be protected. I hope you can get your sister to see reason and stay away.

💓💓💓

I told her the same thing. Her ticket is on Southwest so she can decide and reschedule for later without penalties.

Edited August 14, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Shoeless]

I wish I could get any of my relatives with young kids to pay attention to what is happening at pediatric hospitals here.  The relatives are vaxxed, the kids aren't (too young). 

This will end in tears. 

[Faith-manor]

2 hours ago, Murphy101 said:

I’d say it’s a hard choice but for me it just isn’t. Hands down no hesitation my kids trump everyone else. And any parent or grandparent should understand that. I guess if they don’t, it makes it an easier decision. 

But honestly we wouldn’t be able to afford to go regardless of covid anyways.  We are currently having to explain to an elderly grandma that her absolute insistence on living 8 hours away from her nearest next of kin means she’s probably going to die lonely and alone. She needs home health and to not live on her own but she’s adamant that she won’t move at all and for sure as hell not to assisted living. So. That’s her bad choice. We can’t all just take off work to live with her and her church is a crap.  She’s been an active founding member and major financial contributor for 50 years and they haven’t so much as brought one meal to her.  I feel for her but her demands are unreasonable on every level.

I feel your pain. We bought a multi generational, handicap accessible absolutely wonderful retirement house, we just have to convince the mothers to go. If they don't, they will end up in nursing homes alone. We cannot stay here, cannot realistically continue to take care of three homes and yards, and physically assist/care for them. We reached the breaking point which is why we are trying to find reliable lawn care people and a handyman, and making them pay for it. My mom is beginning to.show signs of embracing the idea of leaving her, not very good I might add totally yuck house, and go, but Mark's mom has dug her heels in. She may end up dying alone in that house unless she does get diagnosed with a dementia bad enough for his power of attorney to overrule her.

[ktgrok]

2 hours ago, Murphy101 said:

I’d say it’s a hard choice but for me it just isn’t. Hands down no hesitation my kids trump everyone else. And any parent or grandparent should understand that. I guess if they don’t, it makes it an easier decision. 

 

Exactly. Grandad may not think vaccines are needed, but if he is told vaccinate or no visit, would he vaccinate? If not if he would choose not to see his grand child over this, well then, why visit? 

He doesn't have to agree, just realize this is your sister's call. She as a mom needs to protect her kid. And testing at 48 hours is great, but if he was exposed at a time where he becomes contagious the next day, it's no good. Ugh. 

[Murphy101]

Nephew appears to be recovering! My brother is hopeful they will be able to bring him home by Monday!

[ktgrok]

1 minute ago, Murphy101 said:

Nephew appears to be recovering! My brother is hopeful they will be able to bring him home by Monday!

so glad!

[Not_a_Number]

1 minute ago, Murphy101 said:

Nephew appears to be recovering! My brother is hopeful they will be able to bring him home by Monday!

Yay!! That's great to hear 🙂  .

[catz]

Oh thank goodness! 💕  Thank you for the update!

[Katy]

That’s the best news I’ve heard in days.  I’m so glad.

[Pam in CT]

4 minutes ago, Katy said:

That’s the best news I’ve heard in days.  I’m so glad.

Indeed.  Many thanks for the update.

[ScoutTN]

Glad to hear the good news! Continued prayers for his full recovery. 

[Sneezyone]

Update 2: My sister and niece are not making the trip to Grampa's house. Grampa is sad. Sister is angry. Niece is safer so that's a win. Also, I swear people are buying up Binax and PCR tests to resell them on Amazon or something. I had to go to four stores. Walgreens put them with the school supplies and people bought them up late last week (!!)