Are you currently homeschooling?

[Not_a_Number]

2 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

Perfectionism 😉

Not really. The desire to have kids who have faith in their ability to reason, mostly. Most kids I worked with even in fancy colleges had no faith in their math.

 

2 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

I know many whose kids are now in college and were in public school from K-12th. All of them went to the assigned public school and didn’t have tutors. One actually started tutoring English to neighbors since 6th grade and is now working part time as a dental assistant while in college as prep for dental school. Some kids are just driven. My kids’ former Chinese tutor is honestly low income, stays in a subsidized rent unit and her only child has always been in public school. The child is very independent and would be heading to her first choice college in fall.  

I didn’t say you can’t have kids in public school 😉 . But the best results I’ve seen so far had hands-on parents who helped their kids and also advocated for them. And yes, teaching them is really helpful.

I would have afterschooled even if we hadn’t homeschooled. The only reason we didn’t was the number of hours in a day...

[Arcadia]

10 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

Not really. The desire to have kids who have faith in their ability to reason, mostly. Most kids I worked with even in fancy colleges had no faith in their math.

The kids I know have faith in their math despite being public school kids who didn’t have math enrichment. My oldest is already a high school junior and my social circle mainly has kids in high schools and colleges. My oldest maths classmates are all very comfortable in maths. I think it really depends on social circles we move in. 

[Not_a_Number]

7 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

The kids I know have faith in their math despite being public school kids who didn’t have math enrichment. My oldest is already a high school junior and my social circle mainly has kids in high schools and colleges. My oldest maths classmates are all very comfortable in maths. I think it really depends on social circles we move in. 

Have you taught them math? Because I’m talking about kids I’ve taught calculus. And most of them weren’t comfortable reasoning on their own outside the provided formulas.

Edited April 27, 2021 by Not_a_Number

[LucyStoner]

We started with my older son in 2011/second grade and I homeschooled him from 2nd-8th grade.  Then again for part of high school.  Now he's in dual enrollment so I don't consider it homeschooling even though he's certainly home all the time and I am certainly providing him with a lot of organizational support and tutoring.  

We started with my younger son from kindergarten and kept homeschooling him through 4th grade.  He is also on the spectrum and qualifies for a 1-1 aide as part of his IEP.  He's in 6th grade now.  We have considered homeschooling him again- the option is on the table if it works for him again.  In some ways it would be easier for me.  But he really prefers to be in school- especially band, ASB and clubs and I appreciate that the district is providing him with a significant amount of resources with the 1-1 for support.  

Never having had a NT child, I imagine that if I were to have one my default plan would be homeschool K-8 followed but letting them choose between high school and homeschool and dual enrollment (because 2 years of free college is nothing to sneeze at).  

 

Edited April 27, 2021 by LucyStoner

[Not_a_Number]

I’m sure there exist kids who are comfortable reasoning about math, but they were the exception and not the rule in basically every college class I’ve taught. 

[LucyStoner]

5 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

I’m sure there exist kids who are comfortable reasoning about math, but they were the exception and not the rule in basically every college class I’ve taught. 

My older son loves to reason out math problems.  My younger son would rather stab himself in the eye.  

[Not_a_Number]

2 minutes ago, LucyStoner said:

My older son loves to reason out math problems.  My younger son would rather stab himself in the eye.  

I don’t think one needs to love it, but I think being proficient at math to me means the ability to do so. Otherwise, you get stuck applying wrong shortcuts.

ETA: I’m not arguing everyone is able to do this, just that this is my standard for proficiency, personally.

Edited April 27, 2021 by Not_a_Number

[Arcadia]

5 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

Have you taught them math?

I don’t need to 🙂 even though I would have helped for free if they really needed help because of being friends with the moms. Their dads won’t/can’t afford tuition and not all kids like to reason with their teachers about math (some like my DS16 rarely opens his mouth). Some just want their A+ for math class and spend their energy on their passion. We aren’t talking about math majors here, these kids are aiming or already in pre-med and engineering. 

[skimomma]

I am right now but only for a few more weeks.  Dd was homeschooled K-12 and graduates next month.  She did take some DE classes so these last two years have been less hands-on for me, but I am still at it for the last mommy-credits.  The diploma is in the mail!

[Not_a_Number]

5 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

I don’t need to 🙂 even though I would have helped for free if they really needed help because of being friends with the moms. Their dads won’t/can’t afford tuition and not all kids like to reason with their teachers about math (some like my DS16 rarely opens his mouth). Some just want their A+ for math class and spend their energy on their passion. We aren’t talking about math majors here, these kids are aiming or already in pre-med and engineering. 

Yes, I’ve taught many kids aiming for STEM majors -- I mostly haven't taught math majors. I’ve overall been very unsatisfied with their level of math and their ability to use it. Frankly, the things they had the most trouble with were things you’d want someone in engineering and science to do, like set up word problems...

Edited April 27, 2021 by Not_a_Number

[LucyStoner]

14 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

I don’t think one needs to love it, but I think being proficient at math to me means the ability to do so. Otherwise, you get stuck applying wrong shortcuts.

ETA: I’m not arguing everyone is able to do this, just that this is my standard for proficiency, personally.

I agree.  Which is one reason it's probably for the best that I am not my younger son's primary math teacher anymore.  I did a solid job with my older son, taking him from arithmetic through pre-calc quite well and just assumed it would be the same for my younger son.  Nope.  He gets so distressed/upset when he thinks he should know something math related and doesn't.  Part of it is a difference in how he processes numbers.  The only class that he's not in gen ed for is math.  For math, he's in a middle school math class of 7 kids taught by a math teacher who is also credentialed in special education.  He's less stressed about math in a group setting as well, which seems counter intuitive to me but I appreciate that he's benefiting from specialized instruction.  

Edited April 27, 2021 by LucyStoner

[Not_a_Number]

3 minutes ago, LucyStoner said:

I agree.  Which is one reason it's probably for the best that I am not my younger son's primary math teacher anymore.  I did a solid job with my older son, taking him from arithmetic through pre-calc quite well and just assumed it would be the same for my younger son.  Nope.  He gets so distressed/upset when he thinks he should know something math related and doesn't.  Part of it is a difference in how he processes numbers.  The only class that he's not in gen ed for is math.  For math, he's in a middle school math class of 7 kids taught by a math teacher who is also credentialed in special education.  He's less stressed about math in a group setting as well, which seems counter intuitive to me but I appreciate that he's benefiting from specialized instruction.  
 

 

I’ve definitely seen kids do better in a group setting! I get that.

[athena1277]

I am finishing year 13 of homeschooling.  Oldest graduates next week!  Next year I will have a college freshman, high school freshman, and a kindergartner.  13 years to go before youngest graduates high school.  Oddly, I will never be homeschooling all 3 at once (I don’t count preK because it’s very unstructured).

[Raspberry]

I'm homeschooling, an 8 and 10 year old, and I'm hoping to continue all the way through middle school for the both of them.  I'm not sure about high school yet.  My son asked to be homeschooled after he was bored out of his mind in fourth grade.  I started homeschooling my daughter when the pandemic began.  

Both my kids went to a lovely private school before we moved and I saw a sharp regression in my daughters work once she started public school.  She was so stressed all the time even though she insisted she loved it.  I've seen such huge gains in her confidence since homeschooling and I finally have her back on track to where she should be.  My son was always the youngest in the class and also the know-it-all kid.  Not the best combination.  

Losing one income, losing working years towards social security, and losing extra retirement savings wasn't something I wanted to do. So I've gone to great lengths to juggle both homeschooling and working. 

[Not_a_Number]

2 minutes ago, Raspberry said:

My son was always the youngest in the class and also the know-it-all kid.  Not the best combination.  

Yeah, we had the same issue. DD8 was one of the youngest kids in her kindergarten class and was also the only kid who could already read fluently. (We had taught her, but she was EASY to teach at age 3 -- she was more than ready.) 

What I always said is that my kid needed to socialize with kids a bit younger than her and to do academics with kids 3 years older than her. It wasn't going to happen in a school context... 

[fairfarmhand]

Can I come to the party since my kids enter the county virtual school in Grade 9?

Even though they are using the state provided curriculum, I end up teaching them plenty of stuff that they don't understand--math and writing mainly. 

All my kids are glad they homeschooled. Mostly my girls say they're thankful because they missed the mean middle school girl garbage. They saw a little of that in homeschool group and church activities and know how toxic that would've been to be around All Day Every Day.

So I am glad they missed that.

They all got good solid educations, even using the virtual school. They do feel that they are "ahead" of their college classmates in their Freshman Year. By the second year of college, they seem to be more confident that everyone knows all the stuff they know. 

My oldest was in a Calculus class and felt really sorry for most of the other kids there. She said the terrible thing was this: those kids actually thought they were good at math. They would've gotten straight A's in school. And then they couldn't follow the math taught in the class because their foundation was so poor. Dd 1 said that she felt so sad for them to be totally at sea when they'd always seen themselves as "good at math."

My son, it's a good thing he's homeschooled. He'd be a class clown, always in trouble for talking and not paying attention. And he's nerdy enough, he'd probably be bullied. 

[Murphy101]

I’m 20 years into my 34 year sentence so far. 😎

[scholastica]

Yes. Still homeschooling. Two graduates, last ones finishing junior year and 8th grade.

[*Jessica*]

I’ve homeschooled all of my kids from the beginning, so I’ve been at it for 12 years with my 17yo.  My 15yo wanted to try public school so he spent one semester in 5th grade there, otherwise homeschooled.  I also have a 9yo 3rd grader (we don’t start kindergarten until age 6) so unless she ends up in school at some point I have 9 more years of homeschooling to go!  It’s kind of exhausting to think about writing it out like that. 😛

[Not_a_Number]

2 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

She said the terrible thing was this: those kids actually thought they were good at math. They would've gotten straight A's in school. And then they couldn't follow the math taught in the class because their foundation was so poor. Dd 1 said that she felt so sad for them to be totally at sea when they'd always seen themselves as "good at math."

I can tell you that this is true. Kids who really don't understand anything and can only plug things into formulas think they are good at math. Then they get a really rude awakening at college. It sucks for them. 

[Garga]

10 hours ago, Jann in TX said:

I homeschooled for 13 years-- (2 of my 3 girls graduated from our homeschool).  Both went on to graduate college with honors -- but homeschooling journey was not what I would call 'easy'-- high functioning autism and medical (and mental health) issues...

Youngest dd was in PS all the way through.

I've been teaching math to homeschoolers (other than my own kids!) for the past forever-- using online classes exclusively for past 18 years.

 

LOVE the WTM-- it was a blessing to me in my homeschooling journey

If you’ve been keeping up with this thread, you’ll see that there is a side conversation about kids who think they’re good in math in high school who hit college and then can’t keep up.  

You and your associate taught my son Geometry, Alg II, and Precalc. He’s in Calc II now in college and is getting straight As. 

So, thank you! 

[Garga]

I’m finished with homeschooling. The oldest is a freshman in college. The youngest is in a cyberschool.

For me, my childhood was completely ruined because of school. I was painfully shy and awkward. I was raised by an autistic dad and extremely anxious mom. They did their best, but I didn’t have normal social skills and so I didn’t know how to fit in with the other kids. 

I literally had that moment in 11th grade, that they make movies out of. Sad, awful movies. The entire 11th grade class (there were about 200 of us) was practicing for the Junior Ring Ceremony. That night, we were all going to walk across the stage and receive our rings with our families watching.

At the practice session, when I walked across the stage, kids called me names, loudly, in front of everyone in the auditorium. And I was grateful that they didn’t do it when the families were there. I was standing there on the stage, all alone, in front of 200 people, being called names. Can you even imagine living through that as a 16 year old girl? It was horrific.

I have story after story like that. Sometimes I tell my kids about things that happened to me in school and they just sit there with their mouths gaping. 

It really messed things up for me in a lot of ways. I went to counseling and finally was able to release my horrible memories when I was in my 30s. Before then, if I told you the stories of my school days, I was filled with pain. Now, I can tell you the stories and I feel no pain. It just is what happened and I have no emotion tied to it anymore.

 

My quirky oldest would have most likely experienced some of what I did. I saved him from that by homeschooling him. 

So, I don’t care if he is exactly the same as his public-schooled peers in life later on, I will always know that it was worth it to save him the literal decades of pain I felt because of school. I suffered for 24 years over the awfulness of school. 

Maybe he wouldn’t have had it as bad as me. But from what I’ve seen, I think he would have dealt with more than I wanted him (or anyone) to deal with.

 

As for myself: I gave up money. Lots of money I could have earned. But I didn’t spend my days in an office doing the bidding of others. I spent my days in my sun-drenched home, wearing comfortable clothes, cuddled next to my children. There was stress and there was work and there were discipline issues (teaching the children how to be disciplined in their school work). But there was freedom and I had total control of how to run my days.

There was a great deal of joy and togetherness. Whether that carries over into the future or not, we had lovely days together. My boys have gentle memories of being at home. They didn’t have a single school day worried about their clothes or if a girl would pick on them or if a teacher would be unfair to them. 

 

There was sacrifice yes. Their public schooled peers may be the same as them in the future.  But we had a lovely life together during homeschooling. And they do not have deep scars that aren’t visible. I’m sure some kid at church has said something mean to them, or one of their friends has been a jerk, but it wasn’t 180 days of torment every year from 3rd - 12th grade, like I experienced. 

 

For people who haven’t lived that, they might not understand, but for me and my family, I don’t care what I had to sacrifice to protect my son from what I went through. It was worth it.

Edited April 28, 2021 by Garga

[Jann in TX]

22 hours ago, Not_a_Number said:

Any thoughts on PS vs homeschool in terms of pros/cons?

 

I started out with every intention of sending my children to PS-- as I was a PS teacher...

When my oldest was in 2nd grade her teacher pulled me aside and said that dd would be better off if she were homeschooled (this is from a teacher who typically would not support homeschooling).  A few weeks later the school counselor made the same comment to me.  Shortly after that my dd's psychiatrist (at evaluation) made the same comment-- and he was NOT a supporter of homeschooling.  Finally my eyes were opened and I realized that my dd's learning style was not going to mesh with PS and I started homeschooling.  My middle dd was finishing K at the PS- and started homeschooling with us for 1st.

Oldest was homeschooled grades 3-12.  She then went on to get a 3 year specialty degree at a community college (CC had just merged with awesome photography school-- her instructors wrote the textbooks the students at the local universities were using!!! and the CC had twice as many credit hours in actual photography with only one year of liberal arts stuff).  She graduated with honors and is a professional photographer managing 2 studios (and is highest ranked photographer with Shutterfly's LifeTouch branch).

Middle dd gave me grief (oppositional-defiant) when she was going into 6th grade so she ended up attending PS for grades 6-9-- coming back home for 10th.  She was a model student at PS-- and she flourished there academically-- but she has major anxiety issues and the homework load in 10th grade was way too much (lots of busy work) so she came back home for grades 10-12.  She did most of her high school credits through dual enrollment and easily got into her first choice school-- even with a dismal SAT score (due to anxiety and what we now know--dyslexia!). She has a masters and is a certified dyslexia teacher (now a single parent on medical leave).

Youngest dd was born when older 2 were in 9 and 11 years old and both were homeschooled.  By age 3 youngest prided herself in tearing up her sisters' work!  Off she goes to a 2-day Mother's Day Out program and my social butterfly blossomed!  We put her in PS for K as an experiment-- she again blossomed with an excellent instructors.  She ended up attending PS for K-12 and is now attending Colorado State University and is part of their Honors program.

--We homeschooled our children based on THEIR needs.  We LOVED the homeschooling family lifestyle-- but it was not the right placement all of the time.  Youngest dd would have been miserable homeschooled as her older sisters left the house when she was in middle school... we lived in the boonies without homeschool support.  Thankfully our local PS was very good AND I was an active parent too.

Homeschooling allowed my oldest to have courses tailored to her needs and attention/communication issues.  It also allowed middle dd to work at an accelerated pace without 'busy work' and attend early college via dual enrollment.

PS gave youngest the socialization that she desperately needed.  True, not every instructor was stellar-- but the majority were and we have no regrets.

 

 

 

[cintinative]

@Garga, I really appreciate you sharing your story.  My husband and I really disagreed on homeschooling at first, in part because his school experience was good and mine was much like yours.  I struggled with knowing if it was my own history which was influencing my desire to homeschool. So, reluctantly, I put my oldest into public school K. It was the worst year from so many angles, and by the end, my husband was totally on board with homeschooling. 

I could start a whole other thread on the pluses and minuses of having a working mom, but I will just say this: none of us are guaranteed anything. Our kids are not raw materials which we throw into a "machine" in order to produce a "kidget" of a certain worldview, temperament and character.  Raising your kids the "right" way is no guarantee that they won't go off and do something "crazy."  Homeschooling them is no guarantee they won't rebel. Neither is public or private schooling with great at-home parenting.  I am not saying that all is chance, but I think we attach way too much guilt to ourselves when our adult children choose to do things that we do not particularly approve.  Those adult children are vested with their own will and responsibility, and (while my friends with adult children might admit it keeps them up at night), ultimately, they are adults and they must learn the lessons life sends their way.   Stepping off my soapbox.

 

Edited April 28, 2021 by cintinative

[Arcadia]

On 4/27/2021 at 11:08 AM, Not_a_Number said:

Frankly, the things they had the most trouble with were things you’d want someone in engineering and science to do, like set up word problems...

My husband’s social circle is mainly his colleagues so majority are people older than 40. Majority of them are competent including those who graduated from California public high schools. Most of them have 10 to 20 years of working experience in engineering.

Setting up word problems is taught in elementary school so it comes back to the problem of math phobic teachers in K-5th.

Sometimes kids are just complacent rather than actually not knowing how to set up word problems. I had a colleague with a bachelors in computer science that on one hand is genuinely slower than the rest, but he is also used to being “spoon fed” instructions by his co-workers. He prefers routine mundane work that doesn’t require him to think. His standard answer was “Just tell me what to do”. That is his personality. 

[Not_a_Number]

48 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

My husband’s social circle is mainly his colleagues so majority are people older than 40. Majority of them are competent including those who graduated from California public high schools. Most of them have 10 to 20 years of working experience in engineering.

That's a population that's been selected. Plus they have lots of practice. 

 

48 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

Setting up word problems is taught in elementary school so it comes back to the problem of math phobic teachers in K-5th.

Yes, that's certainly a big part of the problem. 

 

48 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

Sometimes kids are just complacent rather than actually not knowing how to set up word problems. I had a colleague with a bachelors in computer science that on one hand is genuinely slower than the rest, but he is also used to being “spoon fed” instructions by his co-workers. He prefers routine mundane work that doesn’t require him to think. His standard answer was “Just tell me what to do”. That is his personality. 

Kids couldn't do these problems on exams, where they were highly motivated to do them. Like, you'd only include a related rates problem that had NOT been seen before with different numbers on a calculus exam if you wanted to get the average down. Doing more than one or two such problems was a surefire method to make sure that 90% of the class flunked the whole darn exam. 

This is at UT Austin for science majors who weren't engineers. I just asked DH about the kids who WERE engineers and he says that there was a whole third of his class who could do a related rates problem they hadn't seen before. 

So... it's a disaster. And note that this is at one of the good schools in the UT system. 

[Excelsior! Academy]

Obligatory other.  Ha!  I have a kid that's 10 and I homeschool.  Do I vote under 10 or above 10?

 

 

[Not_a_Number]

1 minute ago, Excelsior! Academy said:

Obligatory other.  Ha!  I have a kid that's 10 and I homeschool.  Do I vote under 10 or above 10?

I should have really been clear about that one, eh?? 😄

I guess he's not "under 10." Now if I'd said "10 and under," he'd be included... 

[KungFuPanda]

This is the first year after 19 that I have not homeschooled.  My youngest graduated from high school last May and my oldest graduated from college. It's a bit weird, but I was ready to wrap it up.  I didn't count on being on house arrest with a pandemic though.  I'd love to have an office job and take a loooong break from teaching, but I dread the process of finding a job.

[Lilaclady]

Will finish our 13th year of homeschooling on friYay!!!! Still have 4-5 more years to go depending on what youngest does. It’s been with its ups and downs. I’m trying to make peace with the road less travelled.