So....speaking of paying for kids' activities

[SereneHome]

I saw a "fundraising" on FB a few days ago from a homeschooling mom who was raising money for her kids' activities - co-op, curriculum, etc. This is not the first time I am seeing such fundraisers.

Have you seen something like this and what are your opinions?

[Meriwether]

Fundraising as in just asking for money? I don't like that at all. The only fundraiser we have asked others to contribute to (I usually do the buy out option for what my kids need to contribute) was for Civil Air Patrol. I figured that one was a benefit to the community.

ETA: This was an organized fundraiser, not something I came up with.

Edited February 8, 2020 by Meriwether

[SereneHome]

Yep, just asking for money, saying "schools do it, why can't homeschoolers do it". I think her DD was going to do a readthon and you basically were paying for her to read.....

[SamanthaCarter]

I haven’t seen it, but I can say I’ve sure been tempted. My kids don’t get much because all the worthwhile extracurriculars are beyond our ability to pay. I’ve racked my brain trying to figure out legitimate ways to fundraise; grow and sell seedlings? Baked goods? I don’t know what’s appropriate. 

Edited February 8, 2020 by SamanthaCarter

[SereneHome]

21 minutes ago, SamanthaCarter said:

I haven’t seen it, but I can say I’ve sure been tempted. My kids don’t get much because all the worthwhile extracurriculars are beyond our ability to pay. I’ve racked my brain trying to figure out legitimate ways to fundraise; grow and sell seedlings? Baked goods? I don’t know what’s appropriate. 

I don't know.....to me selling is different than fundraising.

Like if her DD made some kiddy jewelry and sold it, that would be different. 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

So here's what you're up against, @SamanthaCarter:

1. When people criticize GoFundMe's, they almost always say, "If only they were selling products or services, I would agree with that," but

2. Whenever homeschoolers publicize that they can't afford whatever their neighbors think is "normal" for children, the criticism is very painful. It can show up subtly, too, through snubs or gossip in the community or even at church.

This is why I always opted for WAHM side hustles, instead of letting my kids raise money for their activities. By the time they were working as teens, sometimes they paid for extras *within* their activities, but that was obviously not public. I wasn't worried by that point, though, because locally teens do work to help fund their activities.

Alternative lifestyles are frequently about checking in with yourself periodically, about what you're willing to be criticized for. Unfortunately.

Edited February 8, 2020 by Lang Syne Boardie

[Lecka]

I think that’s okay.  If I had a niece or nephew doing that I would contribute.  I wouldn’t for a non-family member.  Edit:  I don’t think I would.  
 

The thing about Facebook is there is always stuff that has too wide of an audience.  A lot of things that would be fine for a certain audience are too much for just everyone, but it’s not that easy to always figure that out.  

Edited February 8, 2020 by Lecka

[mommyoffive]

5 minutes ago, parent said:

Never seen that.  I think it is tacky.  However I am all about letting my kids go busking.  They have been gunning for it, and I think this summer they will be ready.  I am thinking half can be their spending money and half go toward music lessons. 

 

What is Busking?

 

Ok so I am in the minority.  I don't see anything wrong with it at all.  I have seen it a lot on Gofund me.  People wanting you to pay for them to go to camp or whatever.  To me it is no different from all the stuff teams or schools do.   Buy my $4 box of cookies that really cost a buck.   Eat at here and the profits go to this club.  Buy my $25 tub of cookies to make that are hugely over priced.  Honestly I would rather the club just ask for donations, instead of charge me tons for items that are not worth it.  To me it is the same as someone asking on gofund me.   But then you have the clubs that give it more of a legit front than Sally Jo on gofundme.

[Bambam]

I've seen that - for classes, for summer camps, for music lessons (because their children are *SO* extremely talented). I think it is tacky. I don't give. Those things are all luxury items, IMHO. 

 

[Farrar]

1 minute ago, mommyoffive said:

 

What is Busking?

Busking is performing on the street for money.

[catz]

I don't like it.  I've never donated to a go fund me that wasn't for a health care issue or a sudden death or real emergency situation (housing crises, flood, fire, etc).  But people are going to do what they're going to do.  If you advertise it publicly, you may be judged.  If you think closer family might be able and happy to help you out, you don't have to ask far and wide publicly either.  

I've done all sorts of little side hustles over the years though and my kids have not had more structured jobs but have had some little side hustles too.  Even having an organized garage sale can be a decent side hustle.   My kids are musicians and have done busking fundraisers with certain groups.  It's not like people can't easily walk right by someone busking.  

I have to admit the ones that really push my buttons are for teens to go on trips or high end camps or things I would consider luxury items.  I would be happy to have your teen wash my car, clean out my garage, etc.  Going on an exotic trip as a teen is not a birthright.  We could afford trips my kids have done but I still made them put some elbow grease into earning some money for those trips.  

 

[SereneHome]

OK, so I posted this question bc a lot of times I find that my way of thinking and my logic are quite different than most and there have been times when I simply didn't consider various alternatives.  And I do like to hear other views.

I tried to think of this in terms of "schools do it" and "scouts do it" but it just seems / feels very differently to me. I view ability to homeschool as a privilege not a right and I think the ability to finance it should be on the parents or caregivers, so I find this very tacky. But I started second guessing myself when I was seeing that it was equated to fundraising for schools, etc

[alisoncooks]

32 minutes ago, SereneHome said:

OK, so I posted this question bc a lot of times I find that my way of thinking and my logic are quite different than most and there have been times when I simply didn't consider various alternatives.  And I do like to hear other views.

I tried to think of this in terms of "schools do it" and "scouts do it" but it just seems / feels very differently to me. I view ability to homeschool as a privilege not a right and I think the ability to finance it should be on the parents or caregivers, so I find this very tacky. But I started second guessing myself when I was seeing that it was equated to fundraising for schools, etc

+1

Also, for me, we sacrifice a second income so I can homeschool. This means we can't afford the extras that my kids' peers participate in.  It's a trade-off, but we decided it was worth it.

(And I'd definitely hard pass on helping another family get those extras.)

[itsheresomewhere]

It has been happening a good bit around here.  My favorite was the girl and her mother going around and asking for money for camp ( not a mission but a regular camp).  She would give a personal prayer for you.  

What is really getting to me lately is the attitude of bragging about getting scholarships for homeschool activities.  They admit they could afford it without the scholarships but why should they have to pay for it when scholarships are available. It seems to be some kind of odd contest here on who can get the most for free.  

Edited February 8, 2020 by itsheresomewhere

[Shoeless]

Yes, I've seen this.  It makes me laugh when they are posting their go-fund-my-homeschool posts in a homeschool group.  Like, lady, we're all in the same boat as you.  All extra dollars in my budget are going towards funding our own wishes and dreams before I start "donating" funds toward someone else's wishes and dreams. 

There was a homeschool mom near me that got onto one of those public school teacher wish list things, and was spamming groups to donate so her kid could have all sorts of extra goodies (Smart board at home! Computer systems! Furniture to furnish her "school"!). 

[chiguirre]

2 hours ago, SereneHome said:

OK, so I posted this question bc a lot of times I find that my way of thinking and my logic are quite different than most and there have been times when I simply didn't consider various alternatives.  And I do like to hear other views.

I tried to think of this in terms of "schools do it" and "scouts do it" but it just seems / feels very differently to me. I view ability to homeschool as a privilege not a right and I think the ability to finance it should be on the parents or caregivers, so I find this very tacky. But I started second guessing myself when I was seeing that it was equated to fundraising for schools, etc

I think the difference is that the scout fundraisers (and maybe the school ones?) have a secondary goal of teaching kids basic business skills. The girl scouts have badges based on cookie sales that are age appropriate introductions to thinking through marketing issues. 

Another obvious difference is that scout or school fundraising benefits an organization, not just the person doing the selling or soliciting donations. It feels different to give a donation to Mary Sue's scout troop versus giving Mary Sue money so she can go to camp.

[LucyStoner]

I don’t mind people doing it but I’m disinclined to give and my kids have never done any fundraising where they were the sole beneficiary except one time my older son sold some cookies to help pay for his Science Olympiad fee at school.  All other fundraising endeavors have been for causes- my older son for political and climate stuff and my younger son for T1D (his best friend and cousin was recently diagnosed) 

[LucyStoner]

Also, we were homeschoolers on a tight budget in a HCOL area.  We managed to cover the costs of homeschooling and enrichment classes with either or own resources or in certain situations, applying for scholarships through the organizations.  For example, a couple of years we got a partial scholarship for HomeZone at the Y and for a number of years, they received scholarships to participate in enrichment programs at the university that were largely income based.  I do give to the scholarship funds at organizations now that we are in a position to do so on top of paying for our kids in full (my husband was in school for awhile and I worked very few hours; now he’s working in his new field and earning more and I maintain a fairly brisk contracting/consulting business).  

Edited February 8, 2020 by LucyStoner

[J-rap]

That seems super tacky.  Homeschooling is a choice, and if our kids can't participate in as many activities because we're a one-income family, that's the way it goes.  I actually thought that it was a real privilege to even be able to choose to homeschool... to voluntarily give up that income.  We knew we weren't going to starve without it.  Lots and lots of families don't have that choice:  Either both parents must work to feed their children, or it's just a one-parent home.  Many of those families also cannot afford special activities for their kids.

One benefit of raising our kids in a small town was that there really weren't many special activities!  Just school activities and community ed.  Homeschoolers were allowed to take part in the school activities, and community ed offered their activities on a sliding scale.  Everything was pretty much open and affordable to everybody.

[Soror]

Nope, haven't seen it and would not donate- I'm with everyone else- hs'ing is a choice and a privilege as are other activities. 

I had 2 girls in Scouts ask me to buy from their fundraisers and that annoyed me enough as I'm already donating my time and money to them by being a leader, and I didn't even send my own son on the same trip because it was too expensive. 

I hate fundraising in general and only do it for Scouts because it is required but never do very well. We need to do another fundraiser for the spring but are going to stick with a service or maybe a yard sale or these meatsticks that everyone loves- they are just $1 and we get 50% profit.

[JustEm]

I've seen it once or twice and just think it's silly. It is one thing to ask grandparents or aunts/uncles who chip in for things like that when a kid is really excited about an activity. But to post something asking every friend on Facebook seems inappropriate.

I had one friend set up a GoFundMe for some dance camp for their DD. This was the same dance camp my DD wanted to go to and the friend was selling it like this rare opportunity that would set their DD back if they had to miss out on. I just laughed because it was merely a summer camp at a dance school. Yes, she'd get great instruction and progress during the week but it wasn't some serious thing.

[mom@shiloh]

That would be a hard no. Ditto for kids in school doing fund-raising so that they can go on field trips, etc. I am willing to contribute for genuine needs, especially when I see that the kids are willing to work for it, such as doing chores to earn money. Simple hand-outs for non-essentials?  Nope.

[Bambam]

We do have a couple of homeschooling families that offer things for sale (services or products) to raise money for various things (summer camps, special class, whatever). 
If the product or service is reasonably priced and it is something I could use, I will buy it. If it is sadly overpriced ($30 for a 9" pie vs. typical price at a bakery or cottage baker of $10-$20), then I'll pass.  

[moonflower]

13 hours ago, SereneHome said:

Yep, just asking for money, saying "schools do it, why can't homeschoolers do it". I think her DD was going to do a readthon and you basically were paying for her to read.....

 

Well that's fair.

But I hate (HATE) school fundraising, especially public school fundraising.  Just live within your budget or put a tax hike up for the vote!  Grr.

Everything is a money grab in our local PS.  On Pajama Day, which they have once a month, you have to bring $1 to school to wear pajamas.  They have stuff like that constantly.

and get this, and this is totally not a joke, when we have a snow day, they send out an email saying this is the superintendent, today is a snow day, yada yada.

and then at the bottom, it says, I kid you not, "This snow day is sponsored by Sonic." or by Bob's Wood Products.  or whatever.  !!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Regarding busking -- I have heard of people considering putting their little kids out there, less than 13 years old, not particularly gifted or "street smart," definitely not ready to work a constantly changing crowd, and only in their second or third year of music lessons. This, to me, is Dickensian. I mean, even if they were good musicians for their age/stage, I'd be wary...busking is about a lot more than the actual skill or talent being demonstrated. You really have to be able to confidently handle the interactions and stay very aware while performing. Let your child grow their skill and grow up a little, before putting them out in the street. Also, people don't like to see an 8yo scraping away on a 1/4 size violin, while Mom sits three feet away. The impression is that Mom is exploiting him.

I have two sons who have busked as capable teens, though - one does it now, as his main income source in the warm months. He's pretty accomplished and has gotten job offers as well as very good tips. Like all buskers, he has good days and bad days, but he's never come home with less than twice the local minimum wage as his hourly rate. My eldest son busked, as one of his side hustles to support himself through college. 

If someone CAN busk successfully, I don't consider that to be fundraising or begging. I consider it to be working.

If you have a gifted and interested young person who would like to try this, here's some advice: Know the laws and local customs, and don't let your child out of your sight. Stay within a few feet of a minor child at all times. With my 15yo, I tend to choose a location where I'm up against a wall or on a bench where passersby sit; well away from the "act" but visible to make eye contact if someone is looking around to see if anyone is watching him. I do not speak for him, or interact with the listeners in any way. I could just be anybody, not necessarily with him. He looks a lot older than his age and is very, very tall, so he doesn't strike most people as too young or too vulnerable to be out there.

Also, if you're a Mom and minor child on your own, packing up to leave is your most dangerous time -- we once had the experience of realizing we were being watched by a group of men across the street, who seemed to be gathering to follow us. They'd been watching people stuff money in my son's tip jar for the previous half hour. Make sure you are not being "cased" or followed when you pack up to leave the site. As you approach your car or the parking lot or garage, look around again.

[SereneHome]

52 minutes ago, moonflower said:

 

Well that's fair.

But I hate (HATE) school fundraising, especially public school fundraising.  Just live within your budget or put a tax hike up for the vote!  Grr.

Everything is a money grab in our local PS.  On Pajama Day, which they have once a month, you have to bring $1 to school to wear pajamas.  They have stuff like that constantly.

and get this, and this is totally not a joke, when we have a snow day, they send out an email saying this is the superintendent, today is a snow day, yada yada.

and then at the bottom, it says, I kid you not, "This snow day is sponsored by Sonic." or by Bob's Wood Products.  or whatever.  !!!!!!!!!!!!

I've long believed that if my kids were going to our town public school, there would not be enough money in our budget for my bail!  Sooooo many things irritate me about what happens in our elementary school.  And I know about most of it bc it's all posted on our town's FB page

[KungFuPanda]

This seems like immaturity and shortsightedness on the part of the mom.  Let's say she DOES raise enough for an activity.  Now her kid is IN an activity the family can't afford.  That's not sustainable long term. It's much easier to just do something else with your time initially than it is to leave an activity after your kids have grown attached.  

[Shoeless]

13 hours ago, moonflower said:

and then at the bottom, it says, I kid you not, "This snow day is sponsored by Sonic." or by Bob's Wood Products.  or whatever.  !!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Pardon my ignorance, but how is a local business sponsoring the snow day? How does that even work? 

[SKL]

The only thing I can think of is, could it be that go-fund-me is the most efficient way for these folks to accept money that others want to give?  I mean, I know nothing about how it works, but suppose Aunt Nellie lives 1,000 miles away and asked if she can contribute to the kids' education in some way.  Would that make sense?

Personally I dislike fundraisers and very rarely contribute or participate in them.  The only way I'd do it for education would be if the family recently had some unexpected mishap, like a house fire that burned all their books or something like that.

I do contribute to various people's education in various ways, but not through "fundraisers."

[Shoeless]

3 hours ago, SKL said:

The only thing I can think of is, could it be that go-fund-me is the most efficient way for these folks to accept money that others want to give?  I mean, I know nothing about how it works, but suppose Aunt Nellie lives 1,000 miles away and asked if she can contribute to the kids' education in some way.  Would that make sense?

 

Not really.  Go Fund Me isn't meant to be used for one time, person-to-person transactions like that.  It's a fundraising platform.  The idea is to use gfm and social media to get your message out to as many potential donors as possible.  There's a 2.9% + 30 cents fee per transaction, and it takes a week to get your money once you withdraw it. Most of the people that are using gfm are fundraising for things like funeral expenses, medical expenses, memorial funds to take care of the kids after a parent dies, help rebuilding a home after a natural disaster...really Big Life Stuff, which is why it strikes a lot of people as very...bold...to start one for homeschool curriculum or fancy extras.       

Sending money via Paypal is faster for personal transactions.  Putting an old fashioned check in the mail is faster.  I've done both for my relatives that are 1000+ miles away. 

 

 

Edited February 9, 2020 by MissLemon