Can I ask for advice for my dd's future?

[istillluvpink]

I'm pretty much a lurker here.  I have never homeschooled, but think it's a great option for those who do.  And I stumbled on this board a few years ago doing a google search for spelling help for dd and stuck around to read as you all seem like such an intelligent bunch.  I've learned a lot from reading here.  So I hope it's ok that I'm posting here.

Sorry this is super long and detailed.

I've posted here about my dd's health and learning issues.  Well once on the special ed board I think, under a different name I think as I had to change my login name with the new board.  It's been a wild ride with her and we're still trying to figure it all out.  She has type 1 diabetes, juvenile rheumatoid arthritis (basically seronegative rheumatoid arthritis), IBS, anxiety, mild asthma and possibly POTS/vasovagal syncope.  

As far as learning, we've never been able to get a good answer.  She's had neuropsych testing twice.  Once just before her 7th birthday and again at age 17.  The first time they said she had ADHD and her IQ was low average.  We tried numerous ADHD medictations and nothing made a bit of difference.  After many years and a few psychiatrists, the last one said she didn't think it was ADHD and recommended more neuropsych testing.  We put it off many times as the IBS/JRA and anxiety all kicked in badly around that time and she was in no shape to be doing all day testing.  When we did, they said this time no signs of ADHD, average ig (97) and perhaps dyscalculia but the last as a borderline diagnosis.  I do think she has it as I'm horrible at math myself, to the point that I couldn't much help her with math once she hit long division.  

In any case academics have ALWAYS been a struggle.  She has never enjoyed school/formal academics.  She took a long time to learn to read.  She now enjoys reading but nothing really deep, just fun stuff.  Writing she does better at but still struggles with grammar.  Math, forget it.  Science was always just ok, other than doing lab experiments which she somewhat enjoyed.  Same for social studies.  She did ok in but didn't particularly enjoy it.  P.E. she enjoyed until high school but she's well, not at all graceful and doesn't enjoy organized sports.  The only classes she ever really enjoyed were art and her one year of foods in high school.  But she missed a lot of time in high school and ended up doing a mix of online and regular classes and then all online/homebound.  She much prefers this but still doesn't love the academics and is just wanting to get it over with.  She enjoys crafty things, animals, helping others, occasional baking etc.  She gets very stressed and anxious about school and her future.  

She is doing better physically and mentally.  But is a super senior working on finishing up high school.  This summer she was able to work a couple of days a week (3-5 hours at a time) at a local restaurant that serves light lunches and British style tea service. She worked in the kitchen making sandwiches, dishing up soup and plating the food and doing dishes. She liked it fine and enjoyed earning money but didn't love it.  She enjoys baking but doesn't do it often.  This summer she said she was too busy with working and now she's too busy with school.  But really she never worked more than about 15 hours a week and now spends a few hours a day on school.  She seems to get stressed if she has more than several hours of a day committed to things she has to do.  And she does need a lot of rest even still.

She loves animals.  That's her thing.  We have a dog, two guinea pigs and a hamster.  She spends a lot of time researching animal care, improving their living area (the guinea pigs have an elaborate care/running area in our spare bedroom), cleaning their areas etc.  

She somewhat enjoys nature, going for walks, taking pictures etc.  Socially she had few friends during high school as her social group changed just as she started having the multiple health problems and she was rarely at school and didn't have enough energy to care/do anything about it.  She has made a good number of online friends through her chronic illness and guinea pig groups online.  As for local friends she has a few girls she hangs out with on occasion.  Two or three from high school and another she met online because of her animals.  

So my questions is, what do we have her do after high school?  She is really clueless about her plans.  She does NOT want to go to college, even community college, though she knows she will need some training for a career.  She talks about wanting to own a bakery someday but you need training, experience and money to do that!  Plus that's a hard physical job at times and though her arthritis is doing well right now, flares happen, sometimes meds quit working etc.  When it's bad she has trouble walking and standing and the joints in her hand make even writing almost impossible.  

We don't know what to encourage her to do.  She is not lazy.  She worked hard at her job, works hard with her animal care, does chores around the house.  Before she had so many health problems she was very energetic.  Now...not so much.  Dh thinks we should let her take a year or two after high school to try different jobs and see what she wants to do.  I lean towards having her do that part time and take some basic classes at the community college.  

My big (giant!) concern for her future is health insurance.  I have excellent health insurance through my job.  For now until she's 26 she's good.  BUT who knows with the future of health care.  And she needs to have a plan in place for when she does turn 26.  It seems far away but you all know time flies.  I work for a large state college and they do have some jobs (office jobs, dorm cafeteria, parking office)  she could get even without much education.  So that's an idea.  She wouldn't make much but would have health insurance.  But I'd prefer her to have a real skill.  Dh however thinks this is the best idea of working in an office job for some of his family members who have a small business (but I don't think they could afford to add her to their health plan which probably sucks anyway).  

Any ideas?  I thought of vet tech, but she sucks at math and is worried about having to see sick/dying animals and her heart breaking.  Pharmacy tech?  Again, not sure she could handle the math?  I think she would like working with animals/baking but I just don't know how to do that with her physical issues/poor math skills etc.  

If she was your dd, what would you encourage her to do?  Ideas for jobs/careers that don't take much education, yet provide good, affordable health insurance?
 

Edited October 18, 2018 by istillluvpink

[Jean in Newcastle]

Has she been trsted for Celiac disease?  There is a link between type 1 diabetes and Celiac and with her digestive problems I would recommend asking for a ttg blood test. Make sure she eats pasta or bread before the test. 

I have a daughter with similar health and learning issues (who does have Celiac, btw). We are focusing on her physical and mental health. As someone with chronic illness myself,  health is kind of the keystone here. We combine regular doctors and naturopathic doctors (who provide more nutritional and holistic solutions). 

She might be interested in culinary school at some point. Or vet tech. 

[istillluvpink]

27 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Has she been trsted for Celiac disease?  There is a link between type 1 diabetes and Celiac and with her digestive problems I would recommend asking for a ttg blood test. Make sure she eats pasta or bread before the test. 

I have a daughter with similar health and learning issues (who does have Celiac, btw). We are focusing on her physical and mental health. As someone with chronic illness myself,  health is kind of the keystone here. We combine regular doctors and naturopathic doctors (who provide more nutritional and holistic solutions). 

She might be interested in culinary school at some point. Or vet tech. 

Yes, she's been tested for celiac many times.  Blood tests and has had a colonoscopy and an endoscopy (twice).  No signs of celiac.  

I think she would do better if she would eat better, but I've tried many things and at 18, it's hard to get her to do what she should.  Plus her favorite veggies are the ones that bother her IBS so she eats very few of them.  Sigh.

I'm leaning towards culinary school (baking) as she could get a job at the university I work or even at the nearest Costco.  Pay wouldn't be great, but she'd have health insurance and she's welcome to live with us as long as needed as long as she is working (if able).  I do worry about her hands though and they physical part of any of these jobs.  

[Liz CA]

Can you have her take an aptitude test so the options may be broadening a bit. There are so many possibilities out there and realizing where her interests lie may bring up new prospects.

[prairiewindmomma]

Does she have any aptitude for coding or graphic design? They are jobs with flexible hours from which she could work from home that don’t require body work. There are a ton of ADHD coders who can hyper focus into coding...

I worry about the repetitive lifting and wrist work involved in baking. It’s something she should pursue only if she has a passion for it.

[prairiewindmomma]

If she has qualified for homebound services, you might ask about transitions support resources. If she has an IEP she qualifies for support through age 21 (and it’s good evidence for future disability claims).

I’d push for feasible career exploration.

[Shoeless]

Being a vet tech is a very physical job.  You have to lift the dogs and physically restrain them for exams, injections, x-rays.  There is also math, including a little algebra.  And yes, she would have to see animals sick and die, and be expected to maintain her composure while taking an active role in the pet's euthanasia.  As a vet tech, she would be dealing with the sick pets far more than the doctor.   

She might be do better as a veterinary receptionist, but she would still be facing sick and dying animals.  There is really no escaping that sort of thing in a veterinary hospital. 

[ktgrok]

She definitely should not do Vet Tech, it is REALLY hard on the body and with her physical issues could accelerate her arthritis. Many vet techs end up with back issues, joint issues, etc from all the lifting and wrangling. Plus it really does require the ability to do math even when stressed/distracted. And you almost never get to sit down. 

But - what about dog training? There are a lot of options there, and you don't have to wrangle the dogs. No dying animals. Not a lot of complicated  math, just basic book keeping which it sounds like she could do, or you could help her, or hire someone to help her. She can do an online or in person program to learn it, or shadow a local trainer, or both. (ideally both). 

Honestly, with her issues, I'd look into a service dog for her, and then her learning to train other dogs to be service dogs. A friend has a dog that is in training to be a diabetic alert dog, for instance, and there are also balance/mobility dogs that those with balance issues or who are at risk of falling use to steady themselves, or to brace against to get back up if they fall. Even if she doesn't get a dog for herself right now, maybe volunteering with a local organization that does that training would be worthwhile for her?

[SamanthaCarter]

Animal grooming? 

[ktgrok]

5 minutes ago, SamanthaCarter said:

Animal grooming? 

This can be pretty back breaking as well...lots of bending over, plus holding vibrating heavy clippers in your hands for hours, etc. 

[Rachel]

What about something like working at a zoo or aquarium? Not caring for the animals directly but maybe leading tour groups or helping with field trips? I have no idea what the benefits are like though. 

[Rachel]

Is there a career center in the HR department at the university? There may be a job on campus that would be perfect that you just haven’t heard of. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

https://www.everydayhealth.com/hs/rheumatoid-arthritis-treatment-management/best-jobs/?xid=cs_001_002_005&utm_source=Google_Search&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=15247&utm_campaign=717&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIyJuv9ueQ3gIVgX1-Ch1lIg7fEAAYASAAEgIlavD_BwE

This has some good information on how an OT can help with job accommodations. 

[Kebo]

Would a pet-sitting business suit her?

[Rosie_0801]

How about a part time whatever will give her health cover, and pursue art as a side business?

[Acadie]

8 minutes ago, Kebo said:

Would a pet-sitting business suit her?

Interesting idea! I know a dog sitter who takes only small dogs, and has a couple areas of her house fenced off with child gates so she can take care of several animals at a time. She really does spend her days with the dogs, and I think she makes decent money.

Starting (or working for) a small business dog walking or dog/cat sitting in the owner's home could be a way to try this out and see if she likes it. There are many owners of sensitive pets who would freak out at a kennel who are happy to pay for individualized care.

Amy

[Zinnias]

What about front office doctors' office type work?  A lot of them are owned by larger hospitals, which means that the front office staff gets hospital benefits.  There are also things inside the hospital--receptionists, registrars, etc, that don't require more than a high school diploma.  I love hospitals and doctors' offices and urgent care places, though, and if she's unsure how she feels, those places are often open to volunteers.  During her gap year, 4 hours a week volunteering might expose her to things she doesn't know about.

 

[Junie]

If your main concern is health insurance, there are probably easier alternatives than self-employment.

Right now, I think she should focus on getting through high school.

After that, I think that she should get any job, not necessarily one that requires training.  She is really not going to know what her limitations until she has actually been working.

I have RA and each person with this disease has different challenges.  And the challenges sometimes change.  In my opinion, she needs to have a good grasp on what she is able to do before she can start trying to figure out what she wants to do.

[G5052]

I live in a major metropolitan area, and doggie daycare is a big business here. A friend of mine actually runs one associated with the emergency vet service our vet recommends. She makes decent money, has health insurance, and absolutely loves it. She started part-time.

[Pen]

 Cake decorating?  I think people who are artistic for birthday, wedding etc cakes can do well and maybe do it seated. 

When I hear arthritis etc I wonder about Lyme and other tick born illnesses. 

[Katy]

3 hours ago, Zinnias said:

What about front office doctors' office type work?  A lot of them are owned by larger hospitals, which means that the front office staff gets hospital benefits.  There are also things inside the hospital--receptionists, registrars, etc, that don't require more than a high school diploma.  I love hospitals and doctors' offices and urgent care places, though, and if she's unsure how she feels, those places are often open to volunteers.  During her gap year, 4 hours a week volunteering might expose her to things she doesn't know about.

 

 

Yes, this is a one-year community college program called a Medical Assistant. She'd learn the basics of patient assessment - taking vitals, asking questions; as well as back office stuff like a bit of medical coding and filing claims with insurance companies. In smaller towns this is a $12/hour job, in larger ones perhaps closer to $18-20. With a couple years of experience like that she might also be able to work for an insurance company for $30-40k, last I knew their customer service type jobs didn't require college for entry level, only for promotion, and benefits are excellent. Neither of these require much if any math, the computers do the math for you.

[Amber in SJ]

7 minutes ago, Katy said:

 

Yes, this is a one-year community college program called a Medical Assistant. She'd learn the basics of patient assessment - taking vitals, asking questions; as well as back office stuff like a bit of medical coding and filing claims with insurance companies. In smaller towns this is a $12/hour job, in larger ones perhaps closer to $18-20. With a couple years of experience like that she might also be able to work for an insurance company for $30-40k, last I knew their customer service type jobs didn't require college for entry level, only for promotion, and benefits are excellent. Neither of these require much if any math, the computers do the math for you.

My daughter is in this type of program right now at our community college.  Hers is a 2 year program (48 units of Health Care related classes and 6 units of other classes) Regarding math, she had to take a basic college level algebra class and a clinical class of medicine administration where she had to figure out dosages on the fly.  Her billing & coding class requires memorization of an incredible amount of insurance codes.  Her stack of flash cards is over 300 partway through the semester.  Medical terminology is where the homeschooling latin has really paid off.   :)

Amber in SJ 

[Amber in SJ]

After finishing high school, what about CNA (Certified Nurse Assistant?)

The Red Cross offers classes that can be completed in 4- 8 weeks. 

With a CNA certificate she could work in hospitals, rehab facilities, hospice care, home health care situations or day care for the elderly. 

https://www.redcross.org/take-a-class/cna-training

Maybe look at cake decorating classes somewhere like Michael's.  Possibly a class that speaks to her artistic side as well as the culinary side would work well as a motivator to finish high school on a strong note.  Cake decorating can be a fun side job that she might develop into a business later if she is self motivated enough, but with her health concerns I wouldn't push self-employment.  

I think the focus should be on getting through high school first.  

I would check out the volunteer opportunities in your area to try to find something she loves.  

Good luck

Amber in SJ

[Junie]

If she has arthritis in her fingers like I do, cake decorating may be very difficult.

 

[solascriptura]

I don't fully understand your dd's limitations, but what about a pre-school teacher or helper?  The pay will likely not be great, but maybe she can get benefits?

[Pawz4me]

I've probably had RA for over a year, but I was just recently formally diagnosed (sero-positive type). And granted I'm a lot older than your DD. But I can't imagine doing anything that would require repetitive work that involved my hands like dog grooming or cake decorating or anything that would require a lot of physical, whole body activity like being a dog groomer or a CNA. Nor do I think I"d be able to handle dog training, unless I limited it to small dogs (that's what I've done with fostering--I can't physically take being pulled around by untrained medium/large dogs anymore). I'd be in so much pain/so fatigued by the end of one shift I quite literally don't think I'd be able to move. Also, most people understand that RA involves joint pain. I think many don't understand/can't comprehend the level of fatigue that it causes.

If I were you I'd urge her to consider some type of office work as long as it involved a variety of activities (not keyboarding all day long). A job at your college would work, or she could look for a position as a veterinary receptionist.

[ktgrok]

Pet sitting, limited to small dogs and cats/hamsters/etc might be good. She could sign up on Rover.com to start with, just to see if she likes it. 

[prairiewindmomma]

Pawz is right on about the fatigue.  I've had RA for about ten years now and while it's very much a move-it-or-lose-it type of situation (I have to get up and be active every day or it causes cascading problems), it's very much like living with influenza/early pregnancy level fatigue every day....especially during flares.

I have to go on steroids about every year due flares, and it's amazing how that fatigue lifts and I feel awesome....like super woman awesome....and I re-remember how the rest of the world functions.

I would be pointing her hard core towards an office job where she can sit often and where not much lifting or bending or hand dexterity is going on....hence my post about seeing if she can code or do graphic design.  I understand that any new change can be overwhelming when dealing with anxiety....but introduce the idea, go slowly, and try some of the free online resources that are out there.  Otherwise I'd be pointing her towards working at a hospital or university or school....somewhere with stability, predictability, and benefits.

[maize]

I'm also hesitant to recommend small business ideas such as pet sitting with health concerns. I would honestly be looking into any employment with good benefits. School district, local government (library, animal shelter, etc.) state or federal government jobs. 

If we get universal health coverage at some point then the small business ideas will be more feasible.

[maize]

A boring-ish job can be fine if the social side is decent (boss and co-workers). Many people do something just to pay the bills and then indulge in their personal interests outside of work. I see nothing wrong with this--a great deal of my job as a mother and home-maker is dull drudgery (how many people out there have a passion for laundry and dishes and chauffeuring kids and changing diapers?) and that is OK as long as I also have things in my life that feed my heart and soul.

[kiwik]

A job you enjoy and find rewarding is actually rather a luxury.  It might work better to see a careers counsellor to work out what she can physically do then pick the ones that are most appealing/less unappealing to look at closer.  And like a PP said a boring job that gets you what you need can even be enjoyable with the right people and time to do hobbies etc.  

Call centre work?

[Katy]

2 hours ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Pawz is right on about the fatigue.  I've had RA for about ten years now and while it's very much a move-it-or-lose-it type of situation (I have to get up and be active every day or it causes cascading problems), it's very much like living with influenza/early pregnancy level fatigue every day....especially during flares.

I have to go on steroids about every year due flares, and it's amazing how that fatigue lifts and I feel awesome....like super woman awesome....and I re-remember how the rest of the world functions.

I would be pointing her hard core towards an office job where she can sit often and where not much lifting or bending or hand dexterity is going on....hence my post about seeing if she can code or do graphic design.  I understand that any new change can be overwhelming when dealing with anxiety....but introduce the idea, go slowly, and try some of the free online resources that are out there.  Otherwise I'd be pointing her towards working at a hospital or university or school....somewhere with stability, predictability, and benefits.

 

That makes me think something like a hospital floor secretary or receptionist would be a good idea. The nursing staff is generally kind and stable, the benefits are great, and except for being BUSY when the phones are ringing and people are waiting for help it's not deeply stressful.