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Church Coffee Hour Question - WWYD *update in post 1*

AmandaVT

By AmandaVT,
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AmandaVT

AmandaVT

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Update: 

 

I haven't yet heard back from the assistant pastor. The FB message isn't showing as 'seen' yet, so I'm guessing she hasn't logged in to FB in a few days.

 

I did get a text from the coffee hour lady this afternoon to call her. I called her during a break at work and she requested that I make 3 batches of cookies and to come early tomorrow morning to help set up. She e-mailed me the recipes she wanted, I was able to have DH and DS pick up ingredients at the store while I was at work and I have finished baking. Thankfully I am a decent home baker and enjoy it because even for me, this was a bit last minute for 3 kinds of cookies! 

 

All's well that ends well- thanks for the advice! 

 

____________________________________________________

 

 

So I have kind of a weird question! We recently started attending a new (to us) church, a few months ago. One service, the woman that is in charge of the majority of the after church coffee hour food and drink asked for future assistants and helpers. I caught up with her during coffee hour and said I'd be happy to help. She asked if I could help her with the Christmas Eve morning coffee hour. I agreed and she took my full name, e-mail address and phone number down with a note saying that I was on for the Christmas eve coffee hour. 

 

Two weeks ago, I let her know I was excited to help out still and she told me she would be calling me to discuss and let me know what's needed. Last week, I didn't see her to catch up with her. Christmas eve is now just a few days away and I haven't heard from her. I only know her first name and I she never gave me her number or e-mail. 

 

What would you do? At this point, I'm thinking I may make a couple of baked goods and show up early on Christmas Eve? I don't want to come empty-handed. It's a little weird that she hasn't reached out to me yet, right? I wish I had thought to get her phone number, but there were more people than just me volunteering to help for various days and I was trying to go with the flow and let her do her thing. 

 

Christmas Eve morning service is going to be an abbreviated one due to a late afternoon and evening service as well. And it's the only one with coffee hour after. Ack - I tend towards anxiety and this is making me anxious! 

 

 

Edited by AmandaVT
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JIN MOUSA

JIN MOUSA

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Do you know someone else at the church that could put you in touch with her? Or maybe call the church office and see if they can help connect you? If you're on Facebook and think you may have any mutual friends, you can try looking for her that way. 

 

Do the coffee hours usually involve homemade treats? If so, then your plan to have some already sounds like a good one. 

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Lang Syne Boardie

Lang Syne Boardie

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Show up during the coffee hour ready to serve, if there's anything TO serve. That's all. Get there five minutes early but don't bother going sooner.

 

Do not buy, bake, or prep anything! She didn't tell you what she needed, and it's not realistic to singlehandedly make everything for a whole church's coffee hour without any teamwork or collaboration. If she has plenty, what would you do with the leftovers? And the expense when it's all unknown...no. I wouldn't do it.

 

My two cents.

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Lady Marmalade

Lady Marmalade

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Do you know someone else at the church that could put you in touch with her? Or maybe call the church office and see if they can help connect you? If you're on Facebook and think you may have any mutual friends, you can try looking for her that way. 

 

Do the coffee hours usually involve homemade treats? If so, then your plan to have some already sounds like a good one. 

 

I agree with this.  Call the church office.  They will connect you.

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AmandaVT

AmandaVT

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Do you know someone else at the church that could put you in touch with her? Or maybe call the church office and see if they can help connect you? If you're on Facebook and think you may have any mutual friends, you can try looking for her that way. 

 

Do the coffee hours usually involve homemade treats? If so, then your plan to have some already sounds like a good one. 

 

I could send a facebook message to the assistant pastor I think. I feel bad interrupting with a semi-silly question when I'm sure they're in full swing getting ready for the weekend though. 

 

Coffee hours have homemade treats, yes. Always some sweets, sometimes cheese and crackers or deviled eggs or something like that. The coffee hour lady and I had discussed me bringing in something(s)? to serve. 

 

Thank you everyone!!

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Chris in VA

Chris in VA

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Oh my, at my church, we do a large coffee hour. I would need clarity on whether she wanted you to help her serve what she is bringing, bring most or all of the goods, or bring and serve (as in, she is the manager of the whole coffee hour scheduling, not just doing that Sunday's coffee hour). Call the church office tomorrow morning, or call someone else you know there, if you know ANYone. They may have a directory. You need clarity. 

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marbel

marbel

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Agreeing with Chris.   Call the office; if there is an admin that person will know how to get you in touch with the woman you talked to, and may even be able to tell you what you  need to do.  

 

It kinda stinks that the woman didn't follow up, but I can see how it can happen if it's a busy Sunday (and busy time of year).

 

 

 

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itsheresomewhere

itsheresomewhere

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Probably not a popular opinion but this might be a sign for you to see if you really want to volunteer in this area. This could be showing you that it a stressful volunteer area as it is not organized very well.  

 

I might show up ready to serve and I might say if asked why I didn't bring anything " why I thought you didn't need anything since I never received a call or email." 

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Garga

Garga

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I could send a facebook message to the assistant pastor I think. I feel bad interrupting with a semi-silly question when I'm sure they're in full swing getting ready for the weekend though.

 

Coffee hours have homemade treats, yes. Always some sweets, sometimes cheese and crackers or deviled eggs or something like that. The coffee hour lady and I had discussed me bringing in something(s)? to serve.

 

Thank you everyone!!

Perhaps in her mind, she already told you everything you need to know since she discussed you bringing something.

 

Can you remember back to that conversation and remember exactly what she said? How many people are in the church? Can you make enough for everyone? (Is this a church of 30 or 300 or 3000?). When she said for you to bring something to serve, do you think she meant for everyone (maybe yes for a small church.). Did she at all say something like, "Well, if you bring a couple dozen things that'd be great..." And would that be enough for everyone, or would you be providing just a part of the food?

 

Do you know if you're the only person working at the coffee area that day? Do people just walk up and grab something and donate money in a jar? I suppose those are the things you'd want to ask her about. How has it been done the times you've been a "customer"? If there's no office staff and you'll be sending a FB message to the assistant pastor, then I'm assuming it's a small church.

 

I'd try to think back really hard to that conversation she had with you and consider if she thought she told you everything you need to know. And if you can't remember, then do try to contact someone else for information.

 

If she hadn't talked to you about making something, then I would probably just show up with nothing and wait for instructions since she didn't give you any in email or on the phone...but perhaps when she said for you to bring something to serve, she thought she had clearly communicated what you needed to do.

Edited by Garga
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QueenCat

QueenCat

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I would imagine that at this time of year, her life is chaotic as well. I wouldn't look at it as some huge personal flaw, as some are doing in their responses. It probably just slipped her mind. Bring food, since you already said she mentioned you should bring something. If it doesn't get eaten, bring it home or give it away. No big deal.

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AmandaVT

AmandaVT

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Probably not a popular opinion but this might be a sign for you to see if you really want to volunteer in this area. This could be showing you that it a stressful volunteer area as it is not organized very well.  

 

I might show up ready to serve and I might say if asked why I didn't bring anything " why I thought you didn't need anything since I never received a call or email." 

 

I will definitely think hard before volunteering to help with coffee hour again. 

 

 

Perhaps in her mind, she already told you everything you need to know since she discussed you bringing something.

 

Can you remember back to that conversation and remember exactly what she said? How many people are in the church? Can you make enough for everyone? (Is this a church of 30 or 300 or 3000?). When she said for you to bring something to serve, do you think she meant for everyone (maybe yes for a small church.). Did she at all say something like, "Well, if you bring a couple dozen things that'd be great..." And would that be enough for everyone, or would you be providing just a part of the food?

 

Do you know if you're the only person working at the coffee area that day? Do people just walk up and grab something and donate money in a jar? I suppose those are the things you'd want to ask her about. How has it been done the times you've been a "customer"? If there's no office staff and you'll be sending a FB message to the assistant pastor, then I'm assuming it's a small church.

 

I'd try to think back really hard to that conversation she had with you and consider if she thought she told you everything you need to know. And if you can't remember, then do try to contact someone else for information.

 

If she hadn't talked to you about making something, then I would probably just show up with nothing and wait for instructions since she didn't give you any in email or on the phone...but perhaps when she said for you to bring something to serve, she thought she had clearly communicated what you needed to do.

 

It's a small church - around 60 people come to services most Sundays and maybe a dozen to 2 dozen at most come to the coffee hour after. The first time we talked about me helping out, we had tossed out a few ideas like Christmas cookies or a quick bread and a few others. Then she said she would take my name and number and plan to call me closer to the date to discuss specifics (also what time to show up to get things set up). When I saw her a couple of weeks ago, she said something similar to: "I will call you to let you know details about Christmas Eve." It was a quick conversation and she was clear that we'd firm up details on the phone. 

 

It's a small spread - last week there were a couple of small bowls with pretzel rods, some apple cider, coffee, a plate of homemade cookies and some cheese and crackers. Maybe a bowl of Hershey kisses too? People don't seem to do much eating there, they maybe grab a quick coffee and chat for a few minutes.

 

I sent a facebook message to the assistant pastor. She's lovely and I'm sure she'll give me coffee lady's information if she has it. 

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marbel

marbel

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I could send a facebook message to the assistant pastor I think. I feel bad interrupting with a semi-silly question when I'm sure they're in full swing getting ready for the weekend though. 

 

Coffee hours have homemade treats, yes. Always some sweets, sometimes cheese and crackers or deviled eggs or something like that. The coffee hour lady and I had discussed me bringing in something(s)? to serve. 

 

Thank you everyone!!

 

Don't feel as if you are interrupting.  You are trying to help carry on the work of the church.  

 

It sounds like a fairly small church if the method of reaching them is facebook to the pastor?  They don't have a website with contact information?

 

Hope it works out OK and doesn't leave you with a bad feeling toward the church, the snack lady, or serving there.  I have been active in church for 20+ years, always involved in food for the fellowship time.  I've been the one to run to the store during Sunday School because someone forgot to bring food, or we're suddenly out of half and half, or whatever.  Miscommunications happen even with the best of intentions!

 

:-)

 

ETA: just saw your update, I was typing away while you were posting.  

Edited by marbel
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Annie G

Annie G

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Update: 

 

I haven't yet heard back from the assistant pastor. The FB message isn't showing as 'seen' yet, so I'm guessing she hasn't logged in to FB in a few days.

 

I did get a text from the coffee hour lady this afternoon to call her. I called her during a break at work and she requested that I make 3 batches of cookies and to come early tomorrow morning to help set up. She e-mailed me the recipes she wanted, I was able to have DH and DS pick up ingredients at the store while I was at work and I have finished baking. Thankfully I am a decent home baker and enjoy it because even for me, this was a bit last minute for 3 kinds of cookies! 

 

All's well that ends well- thanks for the advice! 

 

____________________________________________________

 

 

You're a lot more easygoing than I am. If someone contacted me the afternoon before the coffee hour and expected me to make three batches of cookies using her recipes I probably wouldn't have been able to stop myself from laughing right in her face.   Glad it turned out ok for you, though. 

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Elizabeth86

Elizabeth86

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You're a lot more easygoing than I am. If someone contacted me the afternoon before the coffee hour and expected me to make three batches of cookies using her recipes I probably wouldn't have been able to stop myself from laughing right in her face. Glad it turned out ok for you, though.

I agree. That is a lot to ask.

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AmandaVT

AmandaVT

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Wow! You are very accommodating to be able to handle a last minute request like that. Can’t believe the lady thought it was ok to wait this long to let you know what to bring.

 

The day she asked the congregation for more volunteers to help with coffee hour, I remember being a bit surprised that more people weren't volunteering. If it's always this last minute, it makes a lot more sense!

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AmandaVT

AmandaVT

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yep makes sense now huh?

 

Totally! DH thought I was crazy to make the cookies, but I did volunteer and figured I'd follow through. I don't see myself volunteering for this particular job again though in the near future. There are lots of other things I can do to help. 

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bettyandbob

bettyandbob

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Update:

 

I haven't yet heard back from the assistant pastor. The FB message isn't showing as 'seen' yet, so I'm guessing she hasn't logged in to FB in a few days.

 

I did get a text from the coffee hour lady this afternoon to call her. I called her during a break at work and she requested that I make 3 batches of cookies and to come early tomorrow morning to help set up. She e-mailed me the recipes she wanted, I was able to have DH and DS pick up ingredients at the store while I was at work and I have finished baking. Thankfully I am a decent home baker and enjoy it because even for me, this was a bit last minute for 3 kinds of cookies!

 

All's well that ends well- thanks for the advice!

 

____________________________________________________

 

 

Based on thus information, I have no problem figuring why other people have not volunteered.

 

She gave you one day's noticed to make 3 different kinds of cookies from recipes of her choosing. She gave you one days notice to get to the church for early set up. I imagine other's have volunteered and found they couldn't make three kinds of cookies on short notice.

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marbel

marbel

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Wow.  I was all ready to defend the church snack lady for waiting too long to contact you.  But she lost me at 3 kinds of cookies made with specific recipes.  That's ridiculous. 

 

Pure speculation based on experience... she is a control freak who has been in charge of snacks forever and wants things done her way because of course she knows best.  But no one wants to make a dedicated volunteer mad, so no one says anything.  But oddly enough, it's hard to find volunteers for snacks...

 

(I know I could be totally off base. But I have seen it before.)

 

Or maybe Christmas Eve is special and they have some sort of tradition, hence the specific recipes.  In any case, you are very gracious!  

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Seasider

Seasider

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Wow, regarding your update - I personally could never have fit in baking three different recipes of cookies two days before Christmas, and the day before the cookies are needed. I need a lot more advance time for something like that. Today was my day to run a lot of errands, last minute shopping for gifts and groceries, wrap gifts and spend time this evening with visiting family members. I honestly would have had to tell her I'm so sorry, it's way too late for me to bake anything, I'd be happy to pick up some from the grocery while I'm out...

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