would this seem weird to you? (non-traditional birthday party)

[caedmyn]

My 7 & 9 YOs want to have a joint birthday party.  I was thinking about having a sort of non-traditional party--saying no presents on the invitations and having something other than cake & ice cream for a treat, maybe peanut butter and chocolate rice krispie treats.  We don't need any more toys and DH wants to do a family party another day with cake and ice cream so I wanted to do something different with their friends.  Would that just be really weird?

[Jean in Newcastle]

As long as there are no nut allergies, I doubt that kids would mind different treats.  The problem with saying "no presents" is that many will bring them anyway. 

[displace]

Some families have joint parties, especially if they have overlapping friendships. Not bringing gifts is not common for that age, but not strange.

 

And my DD doesn't like cake/cupcakes, so we'll probably have cookies at the next party. I think whatever the family does is fine. :)

[SparklyUnicorn]

I personally don't care for being asked not to bring a gift (but I'd get over it).  I'm just weird like that!  But the food part is fine by me.

 

 

[Squawky Acres]

I don't think it is strange to request no gifts.  I always write "no gifts, please" on our invitations for friend birthday parties, and had no idea that anyone would mind!  I thought parents would be relieved not to have to run out to Target to have their child spend an hour trying to pick out the perfect $20 Lego set.  My children have overly-generous relatives on both sides of the family, and receive an absolute mountain of stuff for every occasion.  We wouldn't have room to deal with friend birthday gifts as well.

[Rachel]

Sounds fun!

 

I’m trying to get away from gift parties too. We really don’t need more stuff in our house!

[AMJ]

My 7 & 9 YOs want to have a joint birthday party.  I was thinking about having a sort of non-traditional party--saying no presents on the invitations and having something other than cake & ice cream for a treat, maybe peanut butter and chocolate rice krispie treats.  We don't need any more toys and DH wants to do a family party another day with cake and ice cream so I wanted to do something different with their friends.  Would that just be really weird?

 

 

Not weird at all!  You could even call it their "winter bash" instead of a birthday party.  Both of my kids have summer birthdays, so I used to schedule one joint party for both to invite school chums to, and we would call it my kids' summertime bash.  Calling it something other than a birthday party makes it easier for guests to swallow the "no gifts, the only present we desire is your presence" idea.

[KarenNC]

We've had friends' kids who did a "bring stuff for the animal shelter" birthday parties (and attach a list of needs from there), if you want to give the option for folks to bring things but not collect more toys. If you did that, you could get a dog biscuit cutter and make the rice krispy treats in the shape of dog biscuits or in fish shapes to look like cat treats (or both).

Edited November 16, 2017 by KarenNC

[Annie G]

It sounds great! My kids would have loved that kind of party. 

[Spryte]

Fun!

 

All our bdays are “buddy parties†- everyone has a birthday buddy here. We actually pair up with another family for this. Since not all guests ever know both kids, all the parties are “no gifts.†And since DS has multiple LTFAs all the treats are non-traditional and we pretty much never have cake and ice cream, though always candles. :)

 

So your idea sounds completely normal and fun to me!

[whitestavern]

Not weird to me :)

[Pam in CT]

Not weird.  Around here it is not uncommon for invitations to say "please no gifts" -- I think both the "we already have enough toys" on the side of the birthday kid and a certain exhaustion on the side of guest parents at having to go to Target one.more.time are fairly common.  Sometimes there's a note to the effect that "Little Annie is a real animal lover! If you'd like to make a small donation to [local shelter / Heifer / WWF / whatever] in her honor she'd be thrilled."  I like the idea of collecting gently used stuff for the animal shelter (or other organization) as well.

[idnib]

Not weird.

 

Here in homeschool hippie land it's not unusual to ask that everyone bring the birthday child something from nature, rather than say no gifts because people don't like to be the only one to have followed the request. The birthday child ends up with beautiful leaves, stones, moss, a cool piece of wood, a flower, etc and put it together on a table or use the items as a centerpiece. And it's free too!

[Sandwalker]

Not weird.

 

Here in homeschool hippie land it's not unusual to ask that everyone bring the birthday child something from nature, rather than say no gifts because people don't like to be the only one to have followed the request. The birthday child ends up with beautiful leaves, stones, moss, a cool piece of wood, a flower, etc and put it together on a table or use the items as a centerpiece. And it's free too!

I want to live in homeschool hippie land

[kitten18]

Maybe a few plain RCs if you want choices, but doesn't sound like a big deal. Ds had donuts stacked like a cake at his last one. We had different kinds of donuts.

Mmmmmm, I want a donut.

[Southern Ivy]

My friend's sons just had a joint party (8 & 10). Seemed to work out great. 

[Raifta]

We've been to joint parties for siblings many times and it has been great.

 

We, and many others we know, have also hosted birthday parties where they might not have been cake, but something else - it all depends on the whims of the birthday boy/girl and my children have had many strange whims (waffles and whipped cream, key lime pie etc).  

 

We also have opted for non-traditional gift giving some years - we've done they 'buy something from this list for this animal rescue', we've done the 'bring 5 books you don't read any more and we'll have a book swap and donate the remainder to the local book sale that supports the children's hospital', we've done the 'toonie' party where you tape a toonie to a handmade card instead of buying something, we've done the 'no gifts please' route without offering other options.  All have gone over just fine.  It does help that we have a community of friends who are like-minded and often doing similar things so my kids have attended other birthday parties that are of the same nature.

[Alice]

We’ve had joint parties for our boys, it’s always been fun. 

 

As someone who had pie instead of cake at her wedding, I fully support non-traditional desserts. 

 

I hate the “no gift†thing. I think it’s fine in theory and would never say anything to someone about it. The problem I have with it is that we always honor the request but multiple times have been the only ones who did (or maybe one of two guests who did). Then my kids feel embarrassed to be the only one without a gift. This just happened to my daughter in September. Invitation said no gifts. My daughter really wanted to take a gift because the girl came to her party just the day before. I said no, we would honor their request because that was the kind and respectful thing to do. We show up and there are like 10 other girls there all with huge beautifully wrapped gifts. My daughter gave me the evil eye. They opened presents during the party and she felt terrible to not have one for her friend. Afterward, we talked about it but I still felt bad for her. That same scenario has happened to us at least two or three other times (with different families). Anyway, I like it in concept....it’s just the way it plays out in reality for us that is a problem. So the next "no gift" party I think I will buy a gift and keep it in the car. Then if I drop her off and there is a pile of gifts we can run back to the car. :) 

 

 

[EmilyGF]

We’ve had joint parties for our boys, it’s always been fun. 

 

As someone who had pie instead of cake at her wedding, I fully support non-traditional desserts. 

 

I hate the “no gift†thing. I think it’s fine in theory and would never say anything to someone about it. The problem I have with it is that we always honor the request but multiple times have been the only ones who did (or maybe one of two guests who did). Then my kids feel embarrassed to be the only one without a gift. This just happened to my daughter in September. Invitation said no gifts. My daughter really wanted to take a gift because the girl came to her party just the day before. I said no, we would honor their request because that was the kind and respectful thing to do. We show up and there are like 10 other girls there all with huge beautifully wrapped gifts. My daughter gave me the evil eye. They opened presents during the party and she felt terrible to not have one for her friend. Afterward, we talked about it but I still felt bad for her. That same scenario has happened to us at least two or three other times (with different families). Anyway, I like it in concept....it’s just the way it plays out in reality for us that is a problem. So the next "no gift" party I think I will buy a gift and keep it in the car. Then if I drop her off and there is a pile of gifts we can run back to the car. :)

Once we tried a "pre-loved" gifts only please invite. Some families did it and that was lovely. Other families didn't. We lived in the right culture for it to work.

 

I think the idea sounds lovely. It is like what my mom would have done when we were kids.

 

Emily

[vonfirmath]

Some families have joint parties, especially if they have overlapping friendships. Not bringing gifts is not common for that age, but not strange.

 

And my DD doesn't like cake/cupcakes, so we'll probably have cookies at the next party. I think whatever the family does is fine. :)

 

We just this summer had a joint party for my 6 and 10 year old. (And a separate friends party for my 10 year old)  Both kids would be at the party anyway. ANd most of the friends who actually come are the same. So.

[gardenmom5]

no

[fralala]

Sounds fun! The only thing that could make it even better? No goody bags, please! An important corollary to the no gifts policy.

[mom@shiloh]

We allow our kids to have one birthday party for friends where they're allowed to receive gifts.  After that, birthday parties are great, but we just don't need more stuff.  Our kids have been invited to parties where they were asked to bring something very specific for a good cause.  Oh, how I love that!  

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

It sounds fun.  

 

Other ideas:

 

costume party

movie party

etc.  

 

Most of our parties have some kind of theme because with winter birthdays I can either choose between very structured parties or a trashed apartment...