ktgrok Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 DH watched the baby today while I went and got my nails done. I got a pedicure and manicure, and they were busy so I had to wait, and it took longer than expected.And while I was gone the baby woke up from her nap early, and then proceeded to cry the whole time almost. Shrieking really, from what I hear. She refused the bottle I'd left (had previously taken them but it's been a while since we gave her one..oops), refused the pacifier for the most part, and was generally unable to be pleased. I came home and she was all smiles again. Any tips? Going to try a faster flow bottle (I have a rapid let down so that may help mimic that), and have him try to hold her more but what else? I have that big conference at the end of th month and although he'll stay at the hotel so I can nurse her, he's going to have her a LOT. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Practice Taking them outside or out and about usually serves as a decent distraction. Sitting in the place where Mama usually is can be worse because, well, Mama is usually there. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Have him do that more regularly. It really is the only thing that has ever gotten my kids to get over only wanting mom. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Yes, he just needs to do a lot more interacting with her daily so that she comes to recognize him as a primary caregiver, too. DD was like this. She could scream for hours with almost no break at all. She brought my mother, DH and a dear friend with lots of kids of her own to tears because she would scream nearly non-stop until my return. She was inconsolable. It was emotionally draining for them to care for her. But I was with her nearly all the time. Everyone else worked and DH traveled a lot. They hardly saw her except on the rare occasions I had to leave without her and they would rearrange their schedules to stay with her. Even DH hardly saw her those first few months. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 I've had one or two like this. One had no other caregivers but me for about the first year. The second was a little less extreme, and we found that practice helped immensely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 I'd have him spend more time with her while you are home and leave for shorter periods maybe? Mine is/was like that. But once I'm out of the house she does fine with Dad. Except one time he said she refused to go to sleep til I got home. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 You have my sympathy because my daughter was that way. Fortunately my husband was patient with her and eventually she began taking a bottle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Those are also referred to as Daddy training moments.... :leaving: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 I just don't go out without the baby. I guess it helps that I don't get my nails done :) (or have someone else cut my hair, etc.) It seems to wane at about 1 or 1 1/2, when baby discovers how much fun dad can be and is also (for me) usually done with daytime nursing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noreen Claire Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 My DH has a special carrier that he uses to carry our babies/toddlers. He starts when they can hold their own heads up and wears them for a while almost every day. My Benjamin, now 8mo, loves to be carried by dad when I'm not home! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Try leaving a T-shirt you have worn with him when you leave. Maybe her being able to still have your smell when he holds her would help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 (edited) I'm not sure how old your baby is now, Katie, and I don't really know how to say this without it sounding harsh and mean but I'm going to try anyway. Normal. (((((((((((((((Katie))))))))))))))) It's so hard being the parent of a baby, no matter how many times you have done it before or how desperately the baby was wanted or how well you knew what you were getting into. I feel your pain. It wasn't nails, but there were other things I longed to do when mine were littles and other reasons I wanted someone else to watch them for awhile so I could just get a break. I'm no help. That person was never available. I either brought my baby with me or sucked it up, but not like a buttercup, more like a whiny little brat who kept asking for a candy bar even though she knew she couldn't have one. This season is so short. I'm still surprised that my "caboose baby" is a big kid now. Your nails will be just as beautiful next year and I'd love, love, love to see a picture of them fresh from the salon when your then-toddler enjoys her special Daddy/daughter dates. eta: as always, hth and if it doesn't just ignore Edited July 1, 2017 by Guest 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Our 5th would never take a bottle (he's 2 now). We ended up just packing them into a bag and putting them in his closet. I guess I saved a lot of money on baby formula. :glare: It would've been nice to switch off feedings, YKWIM? So, I don't have any suggestions, but :grouphug: . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Babies are so friggin sexist. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyforlatin Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Ah memory lane. Dd was the same and needed to be distracted constantly. Nora Jones seemed to help immensely. The CD, I mean. I miss those days. Maybe a recording of your voice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Or just tell your dh not to tell you how she was when you were gone 😠5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Babies are so friggin sexist. :lol: LOL! My daughter was just like this. She was SUCH a clingy baby. I started leaving her with DH at least for a tiny 15-20 minute block of time daily starting when she was about 6 weeks because there was just NO way I could be the only parent for that kid. I'd go shower or walk a few blocks. She did get super comfortable with DH then within a month. We eventually got her ok with my mom and DH's mom too for stretches of time. She never really used a bottle either, but I trained her to use a sippy cup by 7-8 months. There were times I did have to leave her for 6-8 hours and she survived. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sneezyone Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 My son didn't get comfy with DH until he was 2 1/2. The two of 'em circled each other like lions in the Serengeti with my time as the ultimate prize. All I got for ya are well-wishes and hugs. It does get better. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 Babies are so friggin sexist. It's the b00ks. Hairy nipples just don't do it for them :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted July 2, 2017 Author Share Posted July 2, 2017 In funny news, she later was FINE with him, smiling and flirting and being adorable. He just glared and said, "She's a liar. She did NOT do this while you were gone!" :lol: I think her bottom teeth are about to come in, which may have influenced things, as she didn't want to nap for me either when I got home. She's finally asleep now but it took all my tricks....laying down side nursing with water sounds playing on my phone after a good round of rocking and bouncing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 (edited) It's the b00ks. Hairy nipples just don't do it for them :lol: There is something undeniably appealing to babies about human milk machines! But moms that don't breastfeed still manage to bond, and so can daddies! Edited July 2, 2017 by goldberry 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoseInABook Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 I've had two like that and while both still prefer mama, we just had daddy push through to create his own bond with them. One was breastfed, one was bottle fed so I don't think it had anything to do with feeding in our case. Just a preference. It always seemed so weird to me when my 4th started doing that though because for the first 3, Daddy was just as good as Mama. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 I am not much help, as all of my babies have had very strong preferences for me at that age. Three year old still very, very strongly prefers mama, to the point where if I'm around, he will almost certainly insist that I do something for him even if I'm busy and someone else can do it faster. Have your dh use whatever carrier you use with her. That might help her find the sense of home base that she gets from you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 But moms that don't breastfeed still manage to bond, and so can daddies! Thank you. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 There is something undeniably appealing to babies about human milk machines! But moms that don't breastfeed still manage to bond, and so can daddies! All 4 of my babies with dh were breastfed, and none of them really ever cared if I disappeared for an hour, or a day, or a weekend! (Which actually bothered me, but obviously it could have been worse!) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fralala Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 I have a rule when I leave the baby with Dad or Grandma: they are NOT allowed to utter the words, "He cried the whole time" upon my return. I mean, how horrible is that to hear? Also, what exactly can we do about it at that point? But yes, we found that even my fussiest, clingiest baby would be soothed by going out for a walk in the Ergo. And the fact is, with her, there were some times that she would cry and cry even though I was with her and nursing her. Crying is not the end of the world. Babies cry. I try not to jump in when my baby is crying with dad when I'm home but to maybe smile at him reassuringly because it's not his failure. It's normal to miss and want to be near a parent who isn't there. (My kids, once older, do cry about missing their dad when he's out of town.) It's good to know there is someone in the world who will accept your feelings and try to comfort you, even if he is unable to give you exactly what you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted July 2, 2017 Author Share Posted July 2, 2017 yeah. I do wish he would have texted me and updated me if it was that bad (his blood pressure was through the roof when I got back from the crying). I would have just done a pedicure, and saved the manicure for another day. But I didn't want to cut things short only to come home and find she slept the whole time, and without him letting me know, I had no way to judge. Sigh. I will definitely get her back to using a bottle at least a few times a week, as I think part of it was she was flat out hungry. And will pick up a faster flow nipple. And make sure to leave the carrier with him (just got a Lillebaby and LOVE IT) and have him adjust it to fit him. That said, I'm a bit panicked about my conference now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 Yeah, he should have kept you updated via text if possible. But sometimes that doesn't solve things because you can't get home right away. Check out the Dunstan language and share it with your dh. Might help a little. Glad you like the carrier. I have one of those (all seasons). You actually don't need to upgrade nipple flows. I learned that from the LLL facebook page I think. Moms nipples don't change sizes so bottle nipples don't need to, either. They also recommend paced bottle feeding. I guess the main thing is to notice when the baby is showing first signs of hunger so they don't get ravenous/impatient at the bottle lol. Easier said than done sometimes. Also maybe the baby has a preference for milk temp and it wasn't to her liking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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