Would you pay boyfriend/give a gift for fixing my laptop?

[Ginevra]

DD's long-time bf is working on my FUBARed Macbook today; he is backing everything up, wiping my OS and restoring it. I am inclined to give him some money for it, though I don't think he is expecting it. Alternatively, I considered getting him a 1T external backup drive for himself, as he mentioned needing one himself when he was helping me order one.

 

My only hesitation is whether this is a weird precedent. He could be my son in law one day.

 

Would you give him cash/a gift?

[Caroline]

DD's long-time bf is working on my FUBARed Macbook today; he is backing everything up, wiping my OS and restoring it. I am inclined to give him some money for it, though I don't think he is expecting it. Alternatively, I considered getting him a 1T external backup drive for himself, as he mentioned needing one himself when he was helping me order one.

 

My only hesitation is whether this is a weird precedent. He could be my son in law one day.

 

Would you give him cash/a gift?

I would. I would probably give him the external backup drive since he mentioned it.

[AngieC]

That sounds like a a very nice gesture, especially the backup drive, if that is in the correct range you were thinking of giving.

[nixpix5]

I would actually do this with no hesitation. It is kind of him and it is a kind gesture in return. Money might make him feel awkward but an external back up is a great idea :)

[JustEm]

I would give either and I don't think it is weird at all. My dad randomly gives dh things, an external hard drive being one example, because they were talking about it. Next thing dh knows my dad is handing him one the next time he sees him. He does the same thing for me. I was using his can opener and commented how much I loved it because it was easy on my arthritic hands. Next time he was at the restaurant store he picked one up for me. It is always unexpected and very welcome, not odd at all.

[wendyroo]

My only hesitation is whether this is a weird precedent. He could be my son in law one day.

 

I don't really think giving a small token of appreciation to a family member who has gone above and beyond the call duty is setting a weird precedent.

 

My husband and I helped my brother pick up, transport and carry a HUGE aquarium that he bought.  My word, was that thing heavy.  We ended up having to make two hour long round trips after work with the kids in tow...it was fairly inconvenient.  My brother thanked us with a couple books from the publishing company where he works.

 

Wendy

[Guest]

Good! Thanks for that; I will order the backup drive today and give it to him next time he's here.

[marbel]

As someone whose husband is frequently called upon to help people with their computer problems, I say either cash or the drive if you know what he wants/needs. I wish more people would think like you. :-)

[Crimson Wife]

I wouldn't give cash as that's a bit tacky, but I would get a gift card to a restaurant he likes as a thank you.

[QueenCat]

I think cash would be kind of weird.......... I like your idea of buying him the hard drive.

[amy g.]

If someone might marry one of my kids someday, I'd get them used to getting money and presents from me right away.

 

My nightmare is how some posters here say "My in laws are always buying us gifts." As if it is a problem.

 

It is probably best that I scare those suitors off as soon as possible.

[SereneHome]

Yep, I always lean towards saying "thank you" with either gift cards or if I know person is interested in something - that particular item.

 

I can  not imagine a situation where giving something as a "thank you" gesture could be a bad thing.  Even if it sets a precedent :)

[Mergath]

I wouldn't give cash as that's a bit tacky, but I would get a gift card to a restaurant he likes as a thank you.

 

I don't think it's tacky to pay someone for their work. Computer repair is often hard, finicky work, and what seems like a simple job can turn into something that takes the better part of a day or more. And believe me, as the unofficial IT person for most of my friends and family, having everyone expect you to devote hours and hours of your life to fixing their borked computers without compensation gets old. I finally had to tell dh that if anymore of his co-workers wanted me to fix their computers, they were going to have to pay me at least minimum wage because it was turning into a part-time job.

 

[J-rap]

I think giving him a backup drive is a great idea, especially since you know he needs one.

[heartlikealion]

I'm frugal so maybe this is just me, but I think a $60 harddrive seems like an expensive gift. I wouldn't want to set the bar that high :laugh: I do think giving him something as a token of your appreciation would be nice, though. Dh says he does that type of stuff for people all the time (as a favor) and it's like 15 min. worth of work with some wait time between.

[Guest]

I'm frugal so maybe this is just me, but I think a $60 harddrive seems like an expensive gift. I wouldn't want to set the bar that high :laugh: I do think giving him something as a token of your appreciation would be nice, though. Dh says he does that type of stuff for people all the time (as a favor) and it's like 15 min. worth of work with some wait time between.

Well, I'm quite frugal, too, but I'm looking at it as saving a couple thousand dollars compared with buying a new computer, or at least a few hundred if I took it to the Genius Bar at Apple.

 

I think if it were too small of a gift, it is a bit insulting for a college graduate, as if you think the young person is not worthy of meaningful compensation.

[Night Elf]

As far as being a precedent, it doesn't have to be. Just because you give him the gift now doesn't mean you have to give him a gift for everything he does for you. I've paid my dd's boyfriend, also long term, for a couple of things and he's done stuff for us without us paying. I think it depends on the job.

[Guest]

As far as being a precedent, it doesn't have to be. Just because you give him the gift now doesn't mean you have to give him a gift for everything he does for you. I've paid my dd's boyfriend, also long term, for a couple of things and he's done stuff for us without us paying. I think it depends on the job.

It's good to know that. 😊 I didn't grow up with an appropriate model for things like this and I second-guess myself in situations like this.

[elegantlion]

I think the external drive is a good idea because he mentioned wanting one. If you're not sure what kind, then a gift card. I don't think cash is tacky either. He provided a service from his expertise and saved you money and information. 

 

 

[Rebel Yell]

As someone whose husband is frequently called upon to help people with their computer problems, I say either cash or the drive if you know what he wants/needs. I wish more people would think like you. :-)

 

Same. If DH got paid for all the computer fixing, website helping, photo editing, etc. he's done, we could probably buy a new car or at least afford to do some major repairs to our broken-down rust buckets, since oddly, mechanics don't work for free like people expect DH to. :(

 

 

I don't think it's tacky to pay someone for their work. Computer repair is often hard, finicky work, and what seems like a simple job can turn into something that takes the better part of a day or more. And believe me, as the unofficial IT person for most of my friends and family, having everyone expect you to devote hours and hours of your life to fixing their borked computers without compensation gets old. I finally had to tell dh that if anymore of his co-workers wanted me to fix their computers, they were going to have to pay me at least minimum wage because it was turning into a part-time job.

 

I hear you. Whenever we start attending a new church, kids activity, etc. we are not allowed to mention that DH can fix computers, build websites, edit photos, or run soundboards/projectors.

 

 

  

It's good to know that. 😊 I didn't grow up with an appropriate model for things like this and I second-guess myself in situations like this.

Agreed- it doesn't have to be "market value" for every thing, every time. Sometimes, have his favorite meal or snacks. Sometimes give cash or a gift card. Sometimes just a hug and a THANKS! And hopefully, you'll have the kind of communication where you can ask him to let you know if a repair was bigger than usual so you can show extra appreciation, and when it was truly just a quick fix and no big deal.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I would.  I wouldn't consider it a requirement, but yeah I would.

 

My husband gets asked constantly to fix computers for people.  Nobody gives him anything and I think that's kinda crummy.  What if he fixed their wash machine or car?  Someone would really expect that for free all the time?  Doesn't seem reasonable to me.  He doesn't say he wants anything, but he does get annoyed that he is the go to person all the time.  So I think it would be a nice gesture if someone gave him something for it.

 

 

[marbel]

I think people have this perception that "computer people" enjoy computers so much that they are happy to have any opportunity to mess around with one.   So completely different from the perception of the mechanic or the appliance repair person.   It's just sort of the vibe I've picked up when someone asks my husband to do something.  I've come up with this theory based on things people say, stuff like "this should be a fun project for you" or "I can't fix this computer problem but I'm sure it'll be fun and easy for you." Also people have zero understanding of what some fixes entail.  People are just so clueless at times.   

 

Which is not to say that a person would never do something like that for free, and happily.  But maybe not all the time.  Even a small token of appreciation is nice - a bottle of wine is always a nice payment in our house!  :-)

 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I think people have this perception that "computer people" enjoy computers so much that they are happy to have any opportunity to mess around with one.   So completely different from the perception of the mechanic or the appliance repair person.   It's just sort of the vibe I've picked up when someone asks my husband to do something.  I've come up with this theory based on things people say, stuff like "this should be a fun project for you" or "I can't fix this computer problem but I'm sure it'll be fun and easy for you." Also people have zero understanding of what some fixes entail.  People are just so clueless at times.   

 

Which is not to say that a person would never do something like that for free, and happily.  But maybe not all the time.  Even a small token of appreciation is nice - a bottle of wine is always a nice payment in our house!  :-)

 

Exactly!

 

And 9 out of 10 times when certain family members of mine asked him to fix stuff, the "problem" was that everything was dirty and gummed up because of cigarettes.  You know how vomitous that is to clean?!  It's awful. 

 

He does like computers, but it's about as fun as asking a person who likes to cook if they'll do your dishes. 

[Crimson Wife]

I don't think it's tacky to pay someone for their work. Computer repair is often hard, finicky work, and what seems like a simple job can turn into something that takes the better part of a day or more. And believe me, as the unofficial IT person for most of my friends and family, having everyone expect you to devote hours and hours of your life to fixing their borked computers without compensation gets old. I finally had to tell dh that if anymore of his co-workers wanted me to fix their computers, they were going to have to pay me at least minimum wage because it was turning into a part-time job.

 

 

But it's not like she HIRED the guy to do it. I have no problem hiring a friend who works in a particular field to do a job as I like to give business to people I know.

 

A friend who does a favor should receive a "thank you" gift, but cash *IS* tacky if she didn't explicitly hire him.

[Beth S]

IMO, you really, really want him to say "yes" when you need to ask him to fix your computer the next time.  :)

You don't want him to feel like you're taking advantage of the situation.

 

So I would suggest also including a small card/note with the HD, expressing your gratitude for the repair, and for him (as a person).

As an aside, our son-in-law is visibly moved whenever I tell him how much we appreciate what a good husband & father he is to our daughter & grand-daughter.

Writing those sentiments down (whatever they may be, for you) can be a real encouragement to the boyfriend, esp. if he's long-time.  :)

Edited June 12, 2017 by Beth S

[zoobie]

The hard drive sounds like a very thoughtful thank you gift. Not only are you showing appreciation of his time and talents, you've listened and noted something he has talked about needing/wanting/liking.

[SparklyUnicorn]

But it's not like she HIRED the guy to do it. I have no problem hiring a friend who works in a particular field to do a job as I like to give business to people I know.

 

A friend who does a favor should receive a "thank you" gift, but cash *IS* tacky if she didn't explicitly hire him.

 

I guess I'm just too practical to care about the tackiness of cash.  If I couldn't come up with a good gift, I'd give cash because that's something everyone can use.  And giving a gift is problematic.  Either you end up giving something dumb that the person will think is "meh" or you end up spending way more than just giving them 20 bucks and calling it a day. 

[Guest]

IMO, you really, really want him to say "yes" when you need to ask him to fix your computer the next time. :)

You don't want him to feel like you're taking advantage of the situation.

 

So I would suggest also including a small card/note with the HD, expressing your gratitude for the repair, and for him (as a person).

As an aside, our son-in-law is visibly moved whenever I tell him how much we appreciate what a good husband & father he is to our daughter & grand-daughter.

Writing those sentiments down (whatever they may be, for you) can be a real encouragement to the boyfriend, esp. if he's long-time. :)

That is a really good point. I'm sure a young man could have many doubts: Are they happy I date their daughter? Are they barely tolerating me? Do they, God forbid, wish I would go away? I'm sure a little card would go a long way to say we are happy he is in our lives.

[heartlikealion]

Well, I'm quite frugal, too, but I'm looking at it as saving a couple thousand dollars compared with buying a new computer, or at least a few hundred if I took it to the Genius Bar at Apple.

 

I think if it were too small of a gift, it is a bit insulting for a college graduate, as if you think the young person is not worthy of meaningful compensation.

 

Yes, that makes sense. I just didn't want to set up high expectations down the line. Like will he expect something every time he does anything techy for me? More computer work or holidays. Like, for Christmas we spend $50 per couple or roughly $25/person. I would worry my Christmas gift would be underwhelming after the harddrive they got lol. This would be my personal train of thought, I wouldn't expect others to necessarily feel this way.

 

A gift card with or without a note, to me, would be sufficient as he wasn't expecting compensation. But the harddrive would be nice as well. :) I'm sure he would very much appreciate it.

[marbel]

But it's not like she HIRED the guy to do it. I have no problem hiring a friend who works in a particular field to do a job as I like to give business to people I know.

 

A friend who does a favor should receive a "thank you" gift, but cash *IS* tacky if she didn't explicitly hire him.

 

Well, tacky is one of those subjective things.  I have a pretty strict personal sense of tacky and this doesn't make the cut.  It can also depend on how the cash is given.  On one of the rare occasions someone paid (or compensated or whatever  you want to call it) my husband for spending hours fixing a computer, the guy gave him an envelope with "thank you" written on the front and cash inside. As he handed it to him, he said "thanks for your time, take your wife out or get yourself a bottle of scotch."  It wasn't elegant, but it was a nice acknowledgment and didn't seem tacky at all. 

 

When people don't know what to give, even gift cards can be problematic.  Someone gave me a gift card once that didn't even have the full balance on it - the person was not someone I would expect to give a partly-used card, so I don't assume ill intent on their part.  I've received cards that required me to sign up on the card website which I didn't want to do. Some are for nice restaurants but there's not enough money to cover a meal.  Etc.  Presumably Quill knows the boyfriend well enough that she can give a useful gift. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

anyone feel free to be tacky and give me some money...no judgement...I promise

 

LOL

 

:laugh:

[Mergath]

But it's not like she HIRED the guy to do it. I have no problem hiring a friend who works in a particular field to do a job as I like to give business to people I know.

 

A friend who does a favor should receive a "thank you" gift, but cash *IS* tacky if she didn't explicitly hire him.

 

This must be one of those regional variations, because where I live giving someone cash as a thank you gift isn't tacky at all. Most people prefer it if the person giving the cash doesn't know what to get them.

[Mergath]

Exactly!

 

And 9 out of 10 times when certain family members of mine asked him to fix stuff, the "problem" was that everything was dirty and gummed up because of cigarettes.  You know how vomitous that is to clean?!  It's awful. 

 

He does like computers, but it's about as fun as asking a person who likes to cook if they'll do your dishes. 

 

Ew! That would be awful.

 

The most common problem I've seen (and one of the easiest to fix, thankfully) is people visiting sketchy porn sites without any virus protection whatsoever. Of course, a lot of these people were single guys in their early twenties, so I'll cut them some slack. ;) I did briefly consider wearing latex gloves and taking universal precautions when I worked on their computers though, lol.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Ew! That would be awful.

 

The most common problem I've seen (and one of the easiest to fix, thankfully) is people visiting sketchy porn sites without any virus protection whatsoever. Of course, a lot of these people were single guys in their early twenties, so I'll cut them some slack. ;) I did briefly consider wearing latex gloves and taking universal precautions when I worked on their computers though, lol.

 

LMAO!

[stephanier.1765]

I gave my son's girlfriend money (it wasn't a lot because I don't keep a lot on hand) for cleaning my house. Son was on his computer and she was bored so she started cleaning. Who am I to say no? So even though she didn't expect it, I gave her some cash. She doesn't make a lot at her job and at the time was saving money for a trip to Disney. I told her anytime she is bored she is welcome at my house.

[Rebel Yell]

I think people have this perception that "computer people" enjoy computers so much that they are happy to have any opportunity to mess around with one.   So completely different from the perception of the mechanic or the appliance repair person.   It's just sort of the vibe I've picked up when someone asks my husband to do something.  I've come up with this theory based on things people say, stuff like "this should be a fun project for you" or "I can't fix this computer problem but I'm sure it'll be fun and easy for you." Also people have zero understanding of what some fixes entail.  People are just so clueless at times.   

 

Which is not to say that a person would never do something like that for free, and happily.  But maybe not all the time.  Even a small token of appreciation is nice - a bottle of wine is always a nice payment in our house!  :-)

 

 

Bonus points if the person says something like "No way am I going to PAY some please to fix this. Can you believe ComputerFixitPlace actually charges people MONEY to do this?"

[heartlikealion]

I can see why it might be considered tacky, but I don't know if that would always stop me from using cash lol. To me, it's easier to say, "oh no, I couldn't take your money" than to reject a gift card they bought with me in mind. Like, in this case, if I was handed a Best Buy gift card and told to spend it on a new harddrive, it's a little hard to say no because what are they gonna do? They can't return the gift card and it was bought with me in mind. They could spend their own gift card, but I feel like if they went out of their way they really want me to have it. Putting cash/gc in an envelope with a card would also convey "I really want you to take this" as well.

 

You can also make the amount more discreet with a gift card. With cash they know how much they are accepting sooner, maybe. With the gift card they might read the balance later (I always write the amount in sharpie on the card but not everyone does).

 

If I was unsure about their specific needs/wants for the harddrive I might ask my daughter if she knows where they shop -- New Egg, Tiger Direct, Amazon, Best Buy, etc. and get a gift with gift receipt or get a gift card with a note that it was intended for a harddrive. You probably can't really go wrong but some people are very peculiar about their electronics. One time dh had a certain kind of harddrive and was ticked when a computer repair place didn't return it. He specified the kind and I don't know if they ever found it or not. It was called a Barracuda.

 

edited for clarity: I think they tried to return someone else's harddrive of another brand to him.

Edited June 12, 2017 by heartlikealion

[StephanieZ]

No cash! Parents don't pay their adult kids (for anything) in my world unless there is a clear need for financial support and an intentional (temporary) choice to do that. So, I'd treat a bf/gf similarly, unless this was their business and you'd clearly "hired" them. At least in my family, Mom did all our legal work for free, we did all her vet work for free, my brother did all her technology work for free, etc. That's just the way we rolled and I loved that feeling of being in it together. It'd have been sad and depressing to give Mom a bill for her cat's medical care, etc. 

 

If desired, I think a fun gift card would be lovely if you know somewhere he likes to spend $$. I wouldn't BUY the technological item because if he's into tech, he might be very particular about what he wants. Amazon Gift Card always works, lol.

 

 

[Crimson Wife]

I guess I'm just too practical to care about the tackiness of cash.  If I couldn't come up with a good gift, I'd give cash because that's something everyone can use.  And giving a gift is problematic.  Either you end up giving something dumb that the person will think is "meh" or you end up spending way more than just giving them 20 bucks and calling it a day. 

 

A gift card to Amazon or Target can be used by pretty much everyone and doesn't have the tackiness of cash. One of those is my "I don't know you well enough to know what you really want" gift.

 

[Guest]

I can see why it might be considered tacky, but I don't know if that would always stop me from using cash lol. To me, it's easier to say, "oh no, I couldn't take your money" than to reject a gift card they bought with me in mind. Like, in this case, if I was handed a Best Buy gift card and told to spend it on a new harddrive, it's a little hard to say no because what are they gonna do? They can't return the gift card and it was bought with me in mind. They could spend their own gift card, but I feel like if they went out of their way they really want me to have it. Putting cash/gc in an envelope with a card would also convey "I really want you to take this" as well.

 

You can also make the amount more discreet with a gift card. With cash they know how much they are accepting sooner, maybe. With the gift card they might read the balance later (I always write the amount in sharpie on the card but not everyone does).

 

If I was unsure about their specific needs/wants for the harddrive I might ask my daughter if she knows where they shop -- New Egg, Tiger Direct, Amazon, Best Buy, etc. and get a gift with gift receipt or get a gift card with a note that it was intended for a harddrive. You probably can't really go wrong but some people are very peculiar about their electronics. One time dh had a certain kind of harddrive and was ticked when a computer repair place didn't return it. He specified the kind and I don't know if they ever found it or not. It was called a Barracuda.

 

edited for clarity: I think they tried to return someone else's harddrive of another brand to him.

Personally, I have steered away from giving gift cards except in instances where I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that the recipient wants and will use this gift card, i.e., my DD always wants a Starbucks card or B&N, DS17 always wants a Subway card. Gift cards do create problems many times. If it is a GC for a place that is expensive, the recipient cannot use it unless they combine their own funds and maybe they didn't want to/can't afford to. Or you use $18 of a $20 card and either have to lose the additional $2 or combine it with your own money to get another item. I have gotten way too many GCs to places I do not go/never eat/is inconvenient to where I shop or live. (One time it was a card to a bagel shop in a town 20 minutes away - when am I ever going to drive out for bagels in another city?)

 

In the case of the harddrive, it is very likely this is exactly what he wants and needs, because when he suggested we first must back it up on a drive, I asked for his assistance in ordering the best choice. I am not techy and have no idea what to look for. This is the one he chose. I even said, "so this is the very same thing you would get for yourself?" He said yes. I also mentioned to DD my intention before I ordered the drive and she confirmed that this is a good idea. So I think I'm in good shape on that point.

[Guest]

A gift card to Amazon or Target can be used by pretty much everyone and doesn't have the tackiness of cash. One of those is my "I don't know you well enough to know what you really want" gift.

 

Eh. I disagree that cash is tacky. Tacky didn't cross my mind. It was more a concern like Stephanie said, that it sets this precedent of doing things for someone only if there's compensation.

 

But it's funny you say that about the Amazon card, because a good friend of mine said her brother always gives these to her kids and she wishes he would either give them no gift or just give them cash. The kids don't use Amazon themselves; they are too young. So it turns into an "event" where she has to herd them around the computer and try to help them choose from the 900 million goods available on Amazon...and then, it is never fully spent and she has exactly this dilemma I just mentioned.

 

Obviously, this would not be the case with a 21-yo man, but I'm still not a big fan of giving GCs. I just think GCs are not AS useful as cash, even when and where they are close. People don't take care of them as well as they do cash, either.

 

My MIL has given cash gifts to all of her adult kids and their spouses for all the Christmases and birthdays since marriage. I always thought it was awesome. It always suits, it's always exactly the right thing, it's usable anywhere.

[marbel]

<snip>

 

But it's funny you say that about the Amazon card, because a good friend of mine said her brother always gives these to her kids and she wishes he would either give them no gift or just give them cash. The kids don't use Amazon themselves; they are too young. So it turns into an "event" where she has to herd them around the computer and try to help them choose from the 900 million goods available on Amazon...and then, it is never fully spent and she has exactly this dilemma I just mentioned.

 

<snip>

 

I know what you mean. When my kids have been given Amazon gift cards, I have bought them from them.  Then I load the card onto my account, and it gets used up with normal purchases and there is no money left over. 

 

We buy a lot from Amazon. Still, I don't give Amazon gift cards to people unless I am sure they order from them.  If I don't know if they are prime members, I usually don't bother because I don't want shipping costs to eat up some of the value.   I always laugh when people say that an Amazon gift card is  universally appropriate.  It's just not.  Amazing, I know, but not everyone shops there.   :-)

[Mergath]

I know what you mean. When my kids have been given Amazon gift cards, I have bought them from them.  Then I load the card onto my account, and it gets used up with normal purchases and there is no money left over. 

 

We buy a lot from Amazon. Still, I don't give Amazon gift cards to people unless I am sure they order from them.  If I don't know if they are prime members, I usually don't bother because I don't want shipping costs to eat up some of the value.   I always laugh when people say that an Amazon gift card is  universally appropriate.  It's just not.  Amazing, I know, but not everyone shops there.   :-)

 

Semi-related rant: Especially now that Amazon has items that you can't even buy unless you're a Prime member. :glare:  We gave up Prime because we just didn't use it enough, and now Amazon won't let me buy the carseat I want from them because the item itself is "exclusively for Prime members." Not the price- the item itself.

 

So yeah, Amazon gift cards aren't always a great idea.

[heartlikealion]

Yes, sometimes for children Amazon is a bit tricky for me. Ds has two unspent Amazon gift cards sitting in my email. I have reminded him, but there's nothing he wants right now. Dh asked him if he wanted to buy the new Beauty and the Beast film (because we kinda want to see it) and ds said, "how much is it?" and when dh told him he said, "nah" and we laughed because we couldn't blame him. He isn't big on stuff. He's more into downloadable games. He got a Target gift card and said he was thinking of buying donuts hahaha. When he got an itunes gift card we bought it from him. I'll use it toward iphone apps over a period I guess.

 

Mergath, that sucks about the carseat!! Maybe you can work something out with a friend or relative that as prime?

[Mergath]

Mergath, that sucks about the carseat!! Maybe you can work something out with a friend or relative that as prime?

 

I'm going to buy it from Target.com instead. I'm not going to beg Amazon to take my money when they obviously don't want it.

[Arcadia]

My husband did help fix my parents desktop computer before we were engaged and refused cash. He finds it awkward as his parents volunteer his services to relatives for free. My parents give me cash though so they just gave me extra to get him something he need but won't buy because he keeps waiting for sales. I won't say cash is tacky but it can be awkward depending on family culture. My side of the family is used to giving cash (plus extra for food) for errands and stuff while his family expects free labor and parts.

 

We gave up Prime because we just didn't use it enough, and now Amazon won't let me buy the carseat I want from them because the item itself is "exclusively for Prime members." Not the price- the item itself.

Wow! Didn't notice that as many of my husband's colleagues have Prime so we sometimes ask them to help us buy stuff if it is urgent or we didn't have enough for free shipping.

[heartlikealion]

I'm going to buy it from Target.com instead. I'm not going to beg Amazon to take my money when they obviously don't want it.

 

I understand. Did you already check Bed, Bath & Beyond? They let you use their monthly 20% off coupon on carseats. That's what I did with dd's.

 

[Mergath]

I understand. Did you already check Bed, Bath & Beyond? They let you use their monthly 20% off coupon on carseats. That's what I did with dd's.

 

 

No, I haven't. I'll have to see if they have the one I want, thanks for the tip! :)

[nixpix5]

If someone might marry one of my kids someday, I'd get them used to getting money and presents from me right away.

 

My nightmare is how some posters here say "My in laws are always buying us gifts." As if it is a problem.

 

It is probably best that I scare those suitors off as soon as possible.

Haha! I seriously laughed out loud over this :) so great! My favorite line "It is probably best that I scare those suitors off as soon as possible" love it!

[Arcadia]

My nightmare is how some posters here say "My in laws are always buying us gifts." As if it is a problem.

My in-laws ask for a wish list whenever they feel a need to give a gift to our kids and yet don't bother getting the cheapest item off the list. Cash would have been appreciated more. We feel like a dumping ground for unwanted gifts. My in-laws do that to all their kids and their only daughter is the only one blunt enough to tell them off. My husband would just put the gifts away until the gifts are blanketed by dust. My SIL (their daughter) actually give what we requested most of the time which was really helpful.

 

For example we have many items on the list that are less than $10 and could be bought from their nearby (within walking distance) local Daiso or ToysRUs. Things like the $1.50 origami paper from Daiso or the $4 Lego minfigure series mystery pack from ToysRUs.

 

My parents would either give me cash to do the buying or they take our kids shopping and give our kids an upper limit. So no junk from my parents. My cousins buy off my wish list or give me cash.

Edited June 13, 2017 by Arcadia